InuYasha Fan Fiction / Ranma 1/2 Fan Fiction / Sailor Moon Fan Fiction ❯ Crossover ❯ Things That Go Bump in the Night ( Chapter 4 )

Chapter Four

Things that go bump in the night

"Ryo! What the hell?!" ranted Clay's face within a magic pool inside a magic cave. "I thought we had an agreement."

"We do, and we have not violated that accord." Ryo was unperturbed in the face of Clay's fury.

"What do you mean you're not in violation of our agreement?" Clay was getting redder by the minute. "I could get them all into your world but now I can't get any of them out!"

Rei interjected into the conversation at this point. "We agreed to allow you to bring the others here and then to allow you to take our avatar away to a new world."

Ryo continued where his wife left off. "The only reason we agreed to that was because we were done our little game with him. Still, we have not reneged. We are not preventing you in anyway from collecting the avatars."

"Bull! If you're not preventing me from retrieving them then who is? I'm warning you, I'll go to my boss over this!" Clay was about as red as he ever got.

Rei openly laughed. "You do that Clay. Go tell your master that you can't extract four mortals from our world, three of them you put there! Tell him you can't overcome the machinations of a single Kitsune."

Clay blinked several times as he digested this information. "A Kitsune? But how? No way a fox spirit has the power to interfere with my plans. You two are lying."

"We are not," they said in unison. Ryo continued. "We're not sure how FoxPaw is doing it, only that it is being done and that they are responsible somehow."

A grin graced Clay's lips. "So you guys can't do anything about this either."

Rei was scandalized. "Certainly we could. If we choose to. We simply choose not to. Besides, the situation has changed. We no longer wish to dispose of our Avatar. The contest is again valid. The introduction of these new factors has added new chaos to the scenario."

Ryo nodded. "And all those strangers are dependent on Daisetsu. Will he bring order to their lives or will they bring chaos to his?"

"NO! This is intolerable. I demand that you turn them all over to me immediately. Eryn at the very least. I created him, he's mine!" Clay was again fuming.

Rei was cheerful as she rebutted. "You have no true power to create, same as us. At best, you modified what was there. As for ownership? Possession is nine tenths of the law."

Clay assumed a threatening posture. "You will turn him over or else I will make you regret it."

Ryo was more serious then his wife. "You will be too weak to confront us on our home turf just as we would be on yours. Accept facts; until the Kitsune stops meddling, the situation stands." The fire dragon's face became a sinister mask. "And if you do think of trespassing here or otherwise interfering with us, your `property' will be `modified'. I never really liked the whining bitch anyway."

Clay snorted. "There is nothing you can do to her! I gave her immortality."

The lady dragon was annoyingly unruffled. "What is given can be taken away. Further more, she is not a person, but a curse. The end of her existence is just a cure away. Surely even you must realize that Eryn will come to that conclusion in time."

Clay snorted. "He isn't that clever."

"Granted," agreed Ryo, "but he could easily be guided."

"You wouldn't dare!" Clay couldn't believe the games these two were trying to play with him of all people.

"Only if you crossover. If you don't, then you have nothing to worry about." Ryo was resolute. He smiled gently. "We are not without sympathy to your plight. I can assure you that no cure will work for Eryn until such time as you are able to retrieve him."

"And the others?" inquired only slightly mollified Clay.

"We'll see when the time comes." Replied Rei.

"Fine," sulked Clay. Then he brightened. "Are you guys still on for poker Friday night? Mirus and Louis will both be there."

"Wouldn't miss it," agreed both dragons.

-----

I've been exposed to a few weird things since popping up in Nerima, I've seen a vaguely British arch-demon cringe at puppy-dog eyes, I've seen people destroying property and breaking walls with no regard OR notice to the damage, and I've even taken a trip through Low Earth Orbit and landed on one of those Youma thingies, proceeding to make it kindly leave while I headed back to town. A giant, black dimensional vortex opening after my desperate gamble to defeat our mutual foe backfired.

Said foe was Blue Chaos, a God-moding, power-gaming freak that somehow managed to sneak into that universe, and, despite the best efforts of the currently incomplete Nerima Wrecking Crew, he proved to be an insurmountable foe to take head on. I mean seriously, how the hell do you take on someone at Dragonball Z levels of power in a standard Martial Arts series? In fact, how do you take on a Dragonball Z fighter in ANY situation?

But I digress. When my Moebius Arrow Technique made contact with his nearly full-power Kamehameha in the making, the dimensional rift thingie was most unexpected, it WAS supposed to turn his focused-yet-currently-unfired attack against itself, therefore disabling him from his own power. From what I saw, it DID work, but apparently it had the side effect of opening said vortex a few seconds later, right in front of my face.

Most Unpleasant Surprise, another was that I had indeed, apparently turned up in another universe… Though the female voice DID sound vaguely familiar… Oh well, might as well start gathering information then.

I opened my eyes up slightly, peering up at the ceiling, and yes, it was the ceiling, and I was on the floor. Apparently, I hadn't been here long enough, or I hadn't been deemed important enough, to get a couch. I yawn loudly, and sat up, wincing at one of the bruises I took while the being-who-shall-remain-nameless was "Instructing me not to get in the way of Martial Artists." I really hope he's burning in the deepest pits of hell right now.

-----

"He awakens," a young man said from his spot near the fallen boy. Tatewaki Kuno was sitting in a chair, turned toward the new arrival. He was extremely intent on the teenage boy. He had been watching him for several minutes, waiting for him to stir.

"Ugh," the unknown teenager groaned once he had sat up. He held a hand to his head, which was obviously in a bit of pain. "Where am I?"

"My house," was Daisetsu's reply. He was seated at the table, still, looking down at the new arrival. "All you all right there?" It looked like the boy had a headache, and he was definitely aching in other places; he looked like he was taken from the middle of a brawl.

"I'm fine," the boy replied quickly. To back his statement, he was able to pull himself to his feet. Something seemed off about this place, but he couldn't place it.

Kari stood from her position at the table. Pushing her chair toward the newly arrived teen, she said, "Have a seat." She looked past the boy, toward the Tendo's couch. "We would've given you the couch, but Kodachi and Gin insisted that they should take it."

"It's the right of somebody of my status," was Princess's reply.

"It's all right," the boy muttered, taking the offered seat. The other three at the table were Daisetsu, Ryoga, and Kuno. He had, of course, recognized Ryoga, Kuno, and Kodachi, but for some reason none of them seemed to recognize him. He could tell by the way they were looking him over.

And by the fact Kuno wasn't attacking him.

"Introductions are in order," the eldest Kuno sibling stated. "My name is Tatewaki Kuno, the rising young star of the high school kendo world."

"My name's Ryoga Hibiki," said the fanged boy with a grin.

"Daisetsu Tendo, a pleasure."

"Kari Umikage at your service."

On the couch, Princess spoke up. "My name is Gin Belmont, but I prefer Princess, if you would."

"And I am Kodachi Kuno, star member of the St. Hebereke Rhythmic Gymnastics team." She ended her statement with a brief laugh, which made all gathered glad it was so short.

The young man could feel his head really start to ache. It took him a while, but he finally remembered where he had heard the name Daisetsu Tendo before. Sighing loudly, he mutter in English, "Damn that accursed British Bastard." It was low enough not to be heard by everybody, but they were waiting on his own introduction. "Ah, yes. My name is Seishin Taihei." He smiled at the assembled group. "You can call me Sei, though."

"So, you're from an alternate Nerima, too?" Kari asked. "All the rest of us are."

"The rest of us?" the new arrival wondered, rubbing his temple. Things were definitely weird, here.

"Things'll be easier if we all know each others' stories," Ryoga suggested. "Maybe we can get some sort of better understanding that way?"

Daisetsu nodded. "Not a bad idea." Turning to the new arrival, he asked, "What's your story? My wife won't be back for another few hours, knowing her, so we have plenty of time."

Sei sighed, but reluctantly began his story. He started it off with him moving to Nerima, rather than the being known as Louis bringing him there by an ill-worded wish. But the rest of his story was mostly the same. Mastering the bow to deal with Kuno, learning the several chi techniques he had, the fight with Blue Chaos. It all, of course, led up to the mysterious portal that deposited him in the middle of Daisetsu's apartment.

"Amazing," Kuno said, the first to speak after Sei's tale. "Imagine, an alternate version of myself who is unskilled enough to lose against a bow."

Said bow-user gave the elder Kuno a glare. Just as dumb, he thought to himself.

"He's probably at the same level," Kari commented to the dense kendoist.

"But then how would he be beaten?" Kuno countered, to which the girl rolled her eyes.

"I suppose my story should be the next," Princess said lazily. She didn't feel like explaining everything, but perhaps she could twist the tale to her own benefit. The tale she spun was nothing like the truth, in fact. Jusenkyo wasn't even mentioned, but instead it was a story of herself and how the masses loved and adored her. Her courageous (and rich) boyfriend always by her side, Princess got a legion of adoring fans. It ended, of course, with the unexpected appearance of the portal. That part, at least, was accurate.

Kuno nodded solemnly. "Indeed, that is how it happened."

Several skeptic looks were thrown about, but Daisetsu was narrowing his eyes. He had a few thoughts after hearing that story.

Kari spoke up. "I'll go next." Instead of starting it with Nerima, though, or even her placement into the Ranma universe, she began with her first day of Junior High. Her ill-fated friendship with Itachi, which led to her meeting Ryoga and Ranma. She talked about the tournament that Ryoga and Ranma won, and the two-year trip to China. She purposely skipped over the Amazons, but then went into her meeting the Tendos, her few days at Furinkan High, and even the recent fights that had taken place; her own against Mikado Sanzenin, the perverted one of the Golden Pair, and the fights Ranma and Ryoga had against Nanashi and Ryo. A week later is when they ran into Kuno, Kodachi, and Gin.

Daisetsu, for one, felt extremely taken aback by her story. Not because of anything that had happened to her, really, but because the story revealed that Kari was, in fact, a girl. And here he thought she had been a slightly underdeveloped boy, when in fact she had been a remarkably underdeveloped girl.

"Interesting," was the only comment said aloud, this one coming from Sei.

"And I guess that leaves me," the owner of the apartment said. He, as quickly as possible, recounted the events of his own past. He barely touched on his earlier years of high school, and, in fact, skipped a majority of the most recent events. He didn't want to reveal his curse, Mary Sue, or the fact his wife had committed murder, so all of those were omitted, leaving his story remarkably short for one taking place over so long a period. He did, however, touch upon his role in the game of order and chaos, as well as the various boons each offered. He also included, for Sei's benefit, the arrival of the other out-of-worlders.

"It looks like all of our universes have a lot of similarities," Ryoga remarked, having heard all the stories.

Daisetsu had noticed that, of course. But there were a lot of differences, too, the main ones being the addition of one person who didn't belong in canon Ranma, a different person from each alternate dimension. Princess, Kari, and Sei. He was rapidly approaching the conclusion that they were just like him.

Sei was having much the same line of thought. His, however, was much more certain, having heard the name Daisetsu Tendo in the past.

Kari had, too, arrived at the same conclusion. She began to wonder how exactly she could confirm her suspicions...

"Looks like you've all had it rough," Princess remarked. "I suppose they didn't flock to you as they did me, eh?"

The owner of the house narrowed his eyes. "Hey, Kari. Sei. Gin. Let's all step outside for a second, okay?"

"Why?" was the question Ryoga wanted to know.

Casting a glance in his direction, Kari responded. "Hey, look, no problem, eh? Just stay here and make sure the Kunos don't wreck the place."

The lost boy cast a glance at the siblings. "Good point, somebody has to keep the two in line."

Kuno snorted. "Hardly necessary for one of my stature, I assure you."

"Just humor me," Daisetsu said, walking outside.

Gin rolled her eyes as she followed, the other two behind her.

Once the door was shut, Daisetsu turned to the others with a fake grin on his face. "Tell me, what do you all think of Robotech?"

"Is that why you brought us out here?" Sei wondered. "Just to ask about some crappy mech anime?"

"It was pretty crappy," Kari agreed.

Princess cocked her head to the side for a second, listening to Eryn's voice in her head. "Ah, yes. Worst mecha show ever." She had never seen it, in truth, but Eryn had. She didn't want to seem unknowledgeable in front of these peasants, after all.

"I knew it!" the Tendo declared, pointing an accusing finger at the three. "You're all self-inserts of some kind, aren't you?!"

Sei and Kari were both taken aback while Gin simply shrugged.

"And worse," Daisetsu continued, "you're a Mary Sue." He narrowed his eyes, turning to Princess.

Sei's eyes widened. It made sense, when he thought about it...

It was Kari that snapped the two out of their thoughts. "We might very well be self-inserts, but I doubt she's a Mary Sue."

"Eh?" Sei and Daisetsu turned to the girl, wondering what she was talking about.

"She was obviously lying throughout the whole story." A roll of her eyes followed that statement.

"I was not!" Princess squawked indignantly. "It's below my station to lie!"

"Actually, that probably makes more sense," Daisetsu agreed.

The archer nodded. "Indeed."

"Hey!" Princess cried. "You can't take some peasant's word over my own!"

Any further arguments were stopped when both Daisetsu and Kari turned their heads, almost in unison, at the approaching woman. It was Nabiki, Daisetsu's errant wife.

"Ah, hello honey." Daisetsu gave a fake grin, making it seem as if he was having a simple chat with his guests. "You're done with the shopping, then?" She was home a lot earlier than expected. Or maybe the stories just took up more time than he had realized.

"Yes," was the woman's simple reply. "Now let's go in. It looks like we're all going to be housemates for a while, so we're going to need to adjust."

"Right," her husband said as the group walked inside.

Princess crossed her arms. "Not believing my story," she muttered. "The nerve of some people."

-----

"Thou art hogging the blankets you uncultured swine!" Kuno was cold and when Kuno was cold he could not sleep. When he could not sleep, he got cranky. It was bad enough that Sasuke was not present to attend him but having his blankets stolen was intolerable.

To complicate matters he was sleeping on the floor along with all the other guys collected. As was right and proper, Nabiki and Kodachi shared the main bed while Kari and Gin got to use the pullout bed. While floor space was less then Kuno had for a closet it should still have been enough for all four men to sleep without interfering with each other's rest.

He tugged at the flimsy covering that Daisetsu had somehow ensnared in his sleep. Despite his exertions, he seemed unable to either free his blankie or wake the offending commoner.

He was quite successful in waking Ryoga however. "What the hell are you yelling about Kuno? People are trying to sleep here."

Tatewaki pointed an accusing finger at Daisetsu. "He is stealing my blankets!"

Ryoga rolled his eyes. "Then just take them back."

The kendoist tried just that. Pulling as hard as he could, he could not get the blanket back. In fact, more of it seemed to disappear around Daisetsu. "This is intolerable," complained Kuno as he snatched up his bokuto.

Before Ryoga could object, Kuno was bringing down his bokuto on their prone host. Seconds before it made contact Daisetsu rolled out of the way. Kuno gave chase across the floor, bashing away with his bokuto. The kendoist did not stop even as Daisetsu rolled up and over Sei.

Being rolled upon was enough to wake the archer but not in time to avoid Kuno's blow. "… the hell?! What are doing attacking me in my sleep Kuno?"

Kuno paused in his assault and Daisetsu immediately ceased rolling around on the ground. Through it all he had never stopped snoring softly. "It is he that is our enemy, stealer of blankets that he is!"

Sei was still a little disoriented having just woken up but noticed his own blanket was suddenly missing. It was in fact wrapped around Daisetsu's slumbering form. He wrinkled his brow. He didn't want to believe Kuno, but the evidence was right there, rising and falling in a steady rhythm. He reached out, grabbed the blanket, and then tugged back with all his might.

The blanket did not move, no matter how hard Sei tugged. Suddenly Daisetsu rolled away from Sei and pulled the archer off balance so that he crashed down into the ground face first. To make matters worse Daisetsu rolled back suddenly, one of his arms flailing out randomly and knocking Sei on the top of the head hard.

"If I hadn't seen it, I wouldn't have believed it." Ryoga was watching with the same detached interest one observes a train wreck. "I thought it was just a legend. Who would have thought those scrolls of Genma's would hold a grain of truth."

"What nonsense art thou spouting?" demanded Kuno

Sei was likewise confused. "Yeah, what he said."

"I'm not sure," Ryoga said in the voice of one who was actually quite sure but didn't want to seem a fool, "but I think that Daisetsu there is a secret master of one of the most dreaded techniques ever devised." He stood up and clenched a fist. "The dreaded Sleep-Fu! Also known as the Snore-Ken!"

Kuno and Sei both stared at Ryoga for about a minute in stunned silence before they broke out laughing as one body.

The lost boy shook his head. "Laugh if you wish, but I'm telling you it's a real technique that few can master."

The archer was wiping a tear from his eyes. "It's not that we don't believe you fang-boy." He pointed at Ryoga's feet. "It's just that he has your blanket now too."

Ryoga looked down to discover it was in fact true. "What that hell? Hey give that back!" Ryoga snatched at the blanket but Daisetsu rolled away before his fingers made contact.

In short, order all three martial artists were pursuing Daisetsu around the room while he dodged all their attack easily. Occasionally a flailing arm or leg would lash out and strike one of the attackers or else they would be tripped when he rolled into the back of their legs. The whole time he continued to snore softly as though flaunting the complete lack of effort on his part.

"Oi," Sei said, looking over at Ryoga. "Did that scroll say anything about a counter to this technique?"

"Yes," Ryoga replied evenly. "Two words: Run away."

But he couldn't do that. Not with his blanket on the line.

Trying once more, Ryoga's grab was again easily avoided by the sleeping Daisetsu. "Enough of this!" Ryoga was starting to see red. He cocked back his fist and struck with all his might. At the last minute Daisetsu rolled toward Ryoga and was missed by the blow. Ryoga's fist smashed into the floor, splintering it and holding the instrument of destruction firmly in place. In the meantime, Daisetsu continued to roll, tripping up the lost boy with a loud crash.

Kari sat bolt upright in bed and glared at Ryoga and the other two standing martial artists. "Do you guys have any idea what time it is? Can't you train during the day like normal people?"

"But Daisetsu stole our blankets!" rebutted Ryoga.

The young girl eyed Ryoga with his fist in the floor and then the softly snoring Daisetsu. "He's the only one not making any noise. Just take the blankets back and be quiet about it."

Ryoga continued to protest. "We tried but we can't! He's using Sleep-Fu on us. We haven't managed to land a single hit and he keeps knocking us down!"

Kari stared really hard at her best friend in any world. "Let me get this straight Ryoga." She rubbed her eyes a moment. "You're telling me that he is wiping the floor with the three of you-in his sleep?"

The three boys looked at each other sheepishly. "No?" put forth Ryoga.

"Then quit making so much noise and go back to bed." Kari shook her head before collapsing back into the comfort of the pullout couch.

There was an awkward silence as the three boys refused to meet each other's gaze. Kuno coughed into his fist. "A true martial artist needs not the false comfort of a blanket."

Ryoga slowly nodded. "Such luxuries only make you weak!"

"Right," agreed Sei. "We're tough. We can rough it."

"Because the three of us wouldn't be beat by anyone who was still asleep," Ryoga said doubtfully.

There were general noises of agreement as the three boys lied back down and hugged themselves tightly to keep the chill off.

The next morning a cheerful and well-rested Daisetsu awakened them all. "Rise and shine boys! Breakfast is served!"

There were general noises of complaint from the three boys.

"Jeez. They're even worse then me in the morning," opinioned Nabiki.

"Just lazy," said Gin snidely.

"Are you sure? They seem awfully grumpy. What do you suppose got into them?" Nabiki was eyeing them with mild curiosity.

Daisetsu shrugged. "I don't know. I slept soundly enough."