InuYasha Fan Fiction / Ranma 1/2 Fan Fiction / Sailor Moon Fan Fiction ❯ Crossover ❯ Shoot Me ( Chapter 9 )

Chapter Nine

Shoot Me

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I trudged down the street; some people might ask me why I was trudging. Well, my life was hell. Only just lately had I regained my body after my `other' self had been in control for a few days. Oh, and before I forget to mention it, while she was in control she had gotten me pulled into another universe, hadn't even acknowledged the existence of any Eryn Belmont, and had multiple people believing she was a Mary Sue. I've contemplated that last part a few times myself, but I've always come to the same conclusion; she is too much of a bitch and burden to really be a Mary Sue. Plus, aside from Kuno, not many people like her.

Ah, back to the trudging. It just so happens I'm trudging around Tokyo trying to find clothing store. I had managed to acquire some funds from the couple Princess had gotten boarding with, on the agreement that I would stop asking for guns, rope, knives, and other implements with which I could attempt suicide. I have the distinct feeling they want me to live; I don't know why but they do seem to be concerned about me living, well either that or they don't want me to make a mess in their home in the process... yeah, it's probably the last one.

After, oh, about thirty minutes of trudging, I finally remembered the most important detail of looking for any place- you have to look up to spot it. I just so happened to be passing a place called Infinity Clothes. Well, actually, that's not what it was really called, but my brain is a universal translator, mainly thanks to a deal I made, so that's what it would have been in English.

I walked into said store and looked around for about another thirty or so minutes and picked out a couple of outfits, mainly vests, no sleeve shirts, and jeans. I also found this yellow thing that looked like the bastard child of a long sleeved shirt and a sweater. Oh, and I can't forget I picked up a silver Chinese tang shirt and a pair of silver kung fu pants. I thought it might be kind of funny to wear some time. I quickly paid for my purchases, only getting a small pittance of the funds I had been given back.

I trudged out of the store staring at the ground again before I heard to thumps on either side of my being. Looking up I spotted two girls, braids on opposites sides of their heads, but otherwise identical. Oh yeah, they also each held a pair of tantos in their hands. That kind of surprised me, so I asked, slightly confused, "Umm, are you two about to try to commit suicide?"

One of them apparently didn't take kindly to my comment so she thrust forward with her blade as she shouted, "Shut up and just let me beat the crap out of you!"

Now I've never claimed to be much of a martial artist, so suffice it to say the blade hit home, literally going in between two of my ribs and just missing my lung. The girl pulled her blade out with a smirk and a roll of her eyes. About a second later her eyebrow shot up in response to the fact that my skin had just finished knitting itself back together. I looked at her and remarked dryly, "That hurt you know."

The comment actually came out sounding much more suave then it had any right to, both girls even assumed defensive stances in response. I just stood there dropping my bags and kicking them towards the door, hoping against hope that my new clothes wouldn't be damaged in the beating to come.

I looked at both girls who were both still in their defensive stances, seemingly mirroring each other. Like before, one of them, I think it was the same one as last time, went for the attack. This time she aimed for the neck. I gulped and barely ducked out of the way, getting a boot to the rear for my troubles. I landed face first in the soft embrace of the sidewalk pavement. Before I could even make an effort at pulling myself up, I was kicked in my side. I think it was more then once, but I really have no proof as to whether it was or not besides a suddenly flaring pain as just about every rib on one side of my body suddenly broke. I pushed myself up off the pavement and stared at the girls, my breathing very shallow. Soon, though, my ribs were thankfully snapping back into place.

I was being beaten. Oh, this wasn't a new thing for me, it happened on a rather regular basis. It was just the first time it had occurred here.

Looking at the girls, I asked, "Is there a reason you two are beating the tar out of me, or are you just a pair of raving counter culture lunatics with some stupid idea that I have somehow wronged you?" Of course, all while I was saying this I was using just about every ounce of experience I had to avoid the various swings, punches and kicks from the twins.

As can easily be gathered, the fight progressed that way for quite a bit. I dodged, or got stabbed, my wounds healed, and I would have to go through it all again. After a good bit of this I was fed up. Looking at the girls, hate flickered throughout my being, I believed what I was about to do would work, my anger fueling this time instead of chance. I turned my head to the sky and bellowed, "BLUE THUNDER!"

Unfortunately, like every other time I've heard those words, I got the wonderful feeling of being struck by a massive amount of electricity, causing my body to fling backwards towards, of all things, a pet shop. Going through the front window, I looked in mute horror as my path took me directly into the filled fish tanks.

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Minutes later, a god awful scream was heard roughly moments before the door of the pet shop was knocked off its hinges. In a flurry of movement, a silvery shape was upon the twin dragon hatchlings. Much clawing, cutting, and hair pulling ensued.

Pulling away from each other clawed, scratch, bruised, and generally just in a prissy mood, the three girls stared balefully at each other. The twins looked at each other and nodded; before Gin could even react they had flipped onto the nearby roof of Infinity Clothes. Turning around Gin started to walk away from the scene of the battle, a sudden pain in her back caused her to fall to the ground in intense agony.

Unfortunately this also caused the rather obese man that had been walking innocently down the sidewalk to trip over her, spilling his cup of hot ramen noodles all over the fallen girl. Eryn pulled himself off the ground wiping the ramen off his hair and shoulders. Looking at the unfortunate ramen eater he shrugged his shoulders and made his way back to the front of the clothing store, picking his bag back up and beginning his long trudge home.

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Walking home was a rather long affair. Luckily, I didn't seem to suffer any ill effects from the rather irritating beat down I had gone through. It might be wise to ask Dai or someone more knowledgeable about this world if it was a commonplace occurrence. With my luck those girls had probably just mixed me up with someone else they were supposed to kill.

Doesn't really matter though. As I said, walking home wasn't a fun affair; those bags seemed heavier then they had been when I bought them, and my back seemed to have gone numb, but I guess fighting for half an hour would do that to a person.

Picking up the newspaper from the doorstep of Dai's apartment wasn't a fun experience either, especially with all the bag shuffling. I guess though that the newspaper's in Tokyo must mirror the general oddness of the area, I mean where else are young gonna read a headline stating `Giant Blue Blur Bounds over Shopping Center?' Hmm, I wonder if Kuno has been out looking for Princess again.

I literally had to bang my head on the door of the apartment to get it open, of course since it was opened by someone else from the inside, that meant I oh-so-joyfully fell to the ground in mid head bang, only to receive a snort full of cold water all over my already wet back.

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Sei reached down his hand to help Princess up. Moving the bags aside he went over to her back. Princess spun around and accusingly asked, "What are you staring at, archer?"

Pulling the rather nasty looking tanto out of Princess's back, he presented it to her before stating, "This. You didn't happen to have a run in with a girl with a braid on the side of her head in a school girl outfit did you?"

Princess replied with a sweet smile and a finger down Sei's chest, "No, you sweet little man. I had a spat with two braided girls, one on each side of their head. I won of course. Though I wish you could've been there to protect me." Princess stuck her finger seductively to her lips; Sei ran out the door like his life depended on it, mumbling a flimsy excuse about needing chocolate.

Smiling to herself, Princess made her way to the back bedroom of the small apartment. Combing the room, she soon became sure that their was no book, ledger, notes, or some kind of statement as to the wealth or debt her lodgers lived in. Finally going into their closet she discovered her El Dorado. They had a safe, where else would Nabiki keep her financial statements but a safe, tucked away in her own home?

She made quick work of picking the lock with one of her hairpins and a keen ear. Then she moved out of the closet, paperwork in hand.

Sitting on top of the Tendos' bed, Princess pawed through the assorted folders, bank statements, and what not. A lot of the assorted information she casually threw to the floor, mainly including birth certificates, contracts, addresses, and so on.

After what felt like an excruciatingly long search, at least to her, Princess came upon the file that seemed to shine like gold in her hands, upon it were written those lovely words `Tendo Family Funds.' Princess wasn't very shocked to find that the Tendos had been hiding a lot from the assorted guests, though she was quite astonished to discover that they were millionaires, if the yen were converted to American dollars. She had thought that their savings would've been somewhere in the upper thousands of dollars, no the actual millions. It certainly was going to change things around here, she might just have to get a bit closer to Daisetsu. First though, she would have to make sure Tatewaki and Nabiki were not there when she started the oh-so-sweet seduction, they really could ruin whatever plans she might make up with their mere presence, after all Kuno had before. Lucky dope.

-----

Kari Umikage had finally made her way to her current residence, she wasn't quite willing to call it home, but it was where she was living for the foreseeable future. Ryouga was apparently still out with Kuno getting an umbrella, Dai and Nabiki were in school, and Sei, Kodachi, and Princess were somewhere else.

Kari was quick to get herself a glass of milk from the small kitchenette of the Tendo home. She had had a rough day, with the fight and all. Kari gratefully dropped herself onto the couch in the living room without so much as a sound. A quick search around her yielded the television remote. Flicking the TV on she found the sound to be up too high, and also she heard a rather suspicious yelp come from the back room of the house.

Flipping over the couch with practiced grace, she made her way quickly into the bedroom. Not spotting anyone inside in her initial look, she slowly looked around the room from the doorway trying to find anything out of place. She quickly noticed a slight indention in the covers on the bed, coupled with a bit of a rustle in said covers. Continuing her search she spotted the biggest sign, the closet door was left slightly ajar. Walking in she slowly opened the door. Looking inside revealed the perpetrator, the person who she pretty much wanted to beat on since she met her. Walking up behind the girl that was shoving papers in a safe she softly kicked her in her derriere. The result was of course a satisfying yelp followed by some choice curses.

Princess spun around and looked into the eyes of the one that had assaulted her fine form. Princess slowly stood, using her foot to close the safe behind her. Looking down at the young girl Princess gave a pompous snort before asking in a not so nice tone, "Whatever do you think you're doing, you short little irritant?"

With somewhat surprising speed, Kari had Princess held against the back wall of the closet, using the safe to usurp the height advantage. A look of sheer and utter hatred was present on her face as she asked in a very angry tone, "Who," a punch the left cheek, "Do," a jab just below the left ear, "You," a punch just above the right breast, "Think," a slap to the left side of the face, "You," another slap to the face, "Are?" A punch to the gut, "Are," a pressure point just below her throat to keep her continually immobile once the shock wore off, "You," a punch to the same spot on the left side of her face, "Trying," A jab to the left ear, "To," a third slap to the face, "Get," a third punch the bruise on her face, "Us," a quick jab above the left breast, "Kicked," another punch to the gut, "Out?!"

Kari continued the beat down for quite a while before dragging Princess outside the closet, closing the door to the bedroom and dropping Princess on the floor in front of the bathroom. She then returned to her regularly scheduled program.

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"This way you damnable vagabond!" Escorting Ryoga Hibiki through the streets of Tokyo was taxing even the great reserves of patience held by one Tatewaki Kuno.

They were twenty minutes outside the Tendos' apartment.

And had only gone one block.

Several times.

Ryoga was getting frustrated, and Kuno's attitude didn't help it any. He was certain that they hadn't been by this area yet. He knew for a fact that they had never seen that building over there, for example.

It was the building that the Tendos lived in.

Kuno was done wasting time. "I have sworn to see you on your way today, and so I shall. Follow my lead and we shall soon be at the umbrella merchant's place of business."

Despite his innate distrust of the kendoist, Ryoga was forced to admit he probably did have a better sense of direction then he himself. "Fine then. You lead and I follow."

It was true that Kuno did have a decent sense of direction and they were in fact going in the right direction.

What he had no concept of was either distance or the mass transit system of Tokyo.

The umbrella shop in question was in Nerima.

They arrived as it opened the next morning.

"I have to say Kuno, I am glad I came with you. I'd never of found it this fast on my own!" Ryoga was sincere in his praise.

Tatewaki brushed a bit of fine brown hair out of his eyes. "Of course, my dear fellow. For I have a heart which is true and a spirit that is noble. Why the very angels themselves guide my way."

Ryouga rolled his eyes but didn't debate it. The point was that they were finally there. He opened the door and walked inside.

The store wasn't just an umbrella store. It had everything the experienced traveler could want. "No wonder I shop here! I wonder why I never found this place before?"

"You always seem to find your way back here eventually, Ryoga. What is it you need this time?" There was an elderly man behind the counter wearing a pair of light spectacles. Some people wore glasses. These could only be described as spectacles.

Initially, Ryoga was surprised that the man knew him. Then he remembered that this world's version of him shopped here as well. "Um, well I would like an umbrella."

"Sure thing." The man reached behind the counter and pulled out a large bamboo umbrella. "Made to order, just like all the others." The man then looked Ryouga up and down. "I have a complete pack here for you too, since you seem to be without yours."

That caused Ryouga to pause. It was true that he had bought one a while ago with the shopping money Nabiki had given him, but he also knew how easily he lost packs. Perhaps a spare would be ideal. However... "I don't think I have enough money…"

"Nonsense, I'll just put it on your family account." The man was already ringing in the purchase.

There was a nagging doubt about charging his purchase to someone else, but Ryouga decided that he could always come back and clear up the account on his own. Shouldn't be that hard either, since it was only a day away. Surely Kari would be able to get him here in close to that time.

Kuno merely waited while Ryouga accepted the goods. The idea of making purchases on established accounts was nothing new to him. Money was so vulgar, he preferred to patron stores that would grant his family credit. There were so many really. His brow went up and a smile graced his lips. Of course, he wasn't completely without resources even here!

The two teenaged martial artists turned and started to head for the exit. Ryoga was used to following someone so he didn't get lost on the way to the exit.

The automatic doors opened when they arrived and the two paused to watch a small black pot bellied pig as it walked in and looked around.

Ryoga blinked. "Looks like someone's pet."

Kuno shrugged. "No matter to us. We must be off home."

The two continued on their way.

And Ryoga Hibiki walked up to the counter and bweed loudly. The shopkeeper glanced over the counter to see his best customer. "Back already Ryoga? That's a new record even for you. Let me guess, you need an umbrella, clothes, and a pack?"

The pig nodded.

"And don't worry, I'll put it on your family's account." After all, the other pack was probably just around the corner. It wouldn't be the first time the same merchandise had been charged to the Hibiki family multiple times.

Soon enough the Hibiki boy was leaving the shop From behind a pair of spectacles watched the ever-alert eyes of the being known to some as FoxPaw.