InuYasha Fan Fiction / Yu Yu Hakusho Fan Fiction ❯ A Light in the Dark ❯ The Pain Within Her Heart ( Chapter 6 )

[ Y - Young Adult: Not suitable for readers under 16 ]

The Pain Within Her Heart

At first Kagome looked wary, but within the moment she straightened up and was prepared for what came at her with strong warm chocolate brown eyes staring at Midoriko. The eyes that seemed to be empty and hollow, still full of the pain that had only happened within the last 48 hours, not even Midoriko herself would be able to overcome such pain in so little time.

‘Such a strong girl... She needs to do this if she’s to live. Kagome is a special miko. More powerful than I.’ She thought absently.

Slowly Midoriko lifted her hand and stroked the young Miko on the cheek. It was soft, like her heart, but that didn’t surprise the legend. She smiled fondly thinking of how lovely the small woman in her hand was. She giggled lowly in her throat at the thought. Kagome couldn’t help but look confused at the older miko’s chuckle. But her only answer was Midoriko shaking her head and looking into her eyes.

“Now then we should begin.” the older woman stated taking her hand back and resting it on her lap.

Midoriko closed her eyes and took a deep breath. “This will be your first test. No matter what happens you need to keep going and pushing with all you’ve got. Now close your eyes and breathe.” she told Kagome softly.

Kagome did as told without a second thought. Taking a deep breath she awaited Midoriko’s next order in this trial.

“Good. Now I want you to look within yourself. Once you see something I want you to tell me what you see.” she instructed.

Kagome nodded and concentrated. Honestly she thought the first step would be harder than that but didn’t object. She looked as hard as possible and found it quiet easily. What she found intrigued her to no end; it looked like a silver mist in the shape of a small kitsune. Only the kitsune was laying on something, almost like it was protecting whatever was next to its belly, sweeping its tail over what seemed to be a dark blue sphere.

“I see... a silver fog, in the shape of a kitsune...? And it’s laying on some kind of sapphire sphere, but every once in a while it’s sweeping its tail over the sphere. Almost like it’s protecting it, like the thing is an egg. It seems to be... mothering the sphere.” Kagome said, unsure if that’s what Midoriko was looking for.

Midoriko was actually surprised that Kagome found her inner power in such a short time. And what she saw was almost as surprising. But Midoriko didn’t let it show, she would congratulate Kagome as soon as she was done with the test. Midoriko made a sound of approval in her throat and continued to give instruction.

“Okay. Next you have to accept what you see, and make it accept you. Make it so that they come toward you, but not to attack you. You should be able to tell the difference. If they do come close and it seems as though it’s not in a friendly way, don’t be afraid. It will only nip at you, like a warning, you won’t be hurt. It might startle you but you have to keep trying and don’t lose your focus.”

Kagome listened to the next instructions intently and followed through. She already accepted whatever it was that was within her. She was just itching to pet the kitsune, it seemed to call her. A small smile adorned her lips on the outside and she thought of touching the kitsune lightly, kind of like she would when she soothed Shippo to sleep. To her amazement she saw her hand outstretch toward the kitsune and softly stroke its fur. The kitsune lifted its head and proceeded to nuzzle against her hand and leaped up towards where her bosom would be. Kagome thought of catching the kitsune and soon two hands were around the kitsune’s small waist. It purred in Kagome’s hands and she held it close to her chest with one hand then went to grab the sphere with the other.

When both were in her possession she heard Midoriko’s voice with what she was to do next.

“Kagome, I can tell you have both the kitsune and the sphere. Now you have to look back where they both were and tell me what you see now.”

The young miko looked to the place where the kitsune and sphere occupied. In its wake made Kagome gasp out loud. There she saw what looked like Kikyo. But as she looked closer to see if her eyes had deceived her, she whimpered. It wasn’t Kikyo... it was her. Kagome saw herself. She looked herself in the eyes and that was what made her whimper. The Kagome she was seeing was depressed and seemed lifeless. Her skin was pale and her eyes looked lost, but she wasn’t scared. She could see the pain clearly. The Kagome she was seeing looked broken. It was more than obvious that she wasn’t happy.

‘Is this what everyone has been seeing? A broken version of me?’ she thought miserably.

Then she looked down to see if she saw anything else. It was there that she saw a heart. Not the kind that was in your body, the kind people drew on paper to show love. And the heart... was bleeding. The blood seeped all over the other Kagome’s hands like a waterfall... and she did nothing about it. She let it bleed holding it out in the open, as though hoping someone would fix it for her. Looking further down, near her feet, Kagome saw bandages with blood on them, the bandages seemed to have names on them.

‘I-is that... my heart?’ she thought slowly. She knew her heart felt broken, but to see herself holding a bleeding heart hit Kagome hard. At further inspection she noticed the names were of people who loved her; Koga, Inuyasha, Miroku, Sango… she stopped reading them. Kagome didn’t know what to do so she told Midoriko, hoping she would be able to do something.

“I-I see, me. But... I’m not happy. I look depressed and empty... like I have no soul. And I’m holding what seems to be a heart. You know, the kind people draw in my time. I’m holding it out, and it’s bleeding a lot. I’m not doing anything to stop it, like I’m waiting for someone else to fix it for me. But at my feet I see bandages with names on them. Almost as though a few people tried to fix it, but I took off the bandages myself....” she said. It was clear in her voice that Kagome was hurt.

Midoriko’s own heart seemed to cry at Kagome’s description. Of course seeing it must be harder. But she needed to finish this task, this test. She noticed Kagome fidgeting with her hands as though she was lost. Then Midoriko opened her mouth to send words of comfort, but then she closed it again knowing she had to finish this task, before comforting. She had to be strong; the both of them had to be strong.

‘I know Kagome might see this as heartless, but she needs to get through this on her own.’

“Kagome... now you need to comfort what you see. You will receive a gift when you have accomplished this task. This is the last step. Do not stop concentrating or open your eyes until you have received the gift and anything else your image gives you.” she spoke. Midoriko’s voice seemed hard and stiff giving Kagome her newest instructions.

Kagome was close to tears just seeing herself like this; how was she going to comfort herself?

‘How does Midoriko expect me to comfort myself? I don’t know how to comfort myself without crying and making things worse.’ she thought pathetically.

Kagome stared at herself in the eyes again. It pained her deeply to know that this is what her friends and son were seeing; a hopeless woman with a broken heart... a woman who wouldn’t allow the broken heart to be healed by just anyone.

Kagome thought some more staring at what was supposed to be her.

She was still at a lost but she just had a gut feeling of what she needed to do. She had the kitsune in her hand climb on what was supposed to be her shoulder and gave it back the sphere. It looked like it sent her a nod, as though understanding her intentions. Kagome didn’t know what to make of it, so she let it be.

Then following what her instincts were telling her she looked at the other Kagome with a small smile of understanding. Walking up to her she pushed the heart toward the other Kagome’s chest. Then she threw her arms around what seemed to be a lifeless doll and pulled her closer to her person. Kagome closed her eyes, she could feel the bleeding heart’s blood on her skin. But that didn’t stop her from hugging the other miko. In fact, it made her hug the other Kagome tighter.

Then she whispered to herself, “Cry. It’s okay. Everyone needs to cry. Cry as long as it takes. No one likes seeing you this way. And yourself… you as yourself know this isn’t right. So just… cry.”

It was then that the other Kagome moved for what seemed to be the first time. She leaned her head on Kagome’s shoulder and started sobbing, loudly, and it was heart wrenching. Still, Kagome held on to the other her and began to rub soothing circles on her back as others had done before for her. The more the other Kagome cried the less Kagome felt the heart bleed. It felt as though hours had passed as the other Kagome cried. But after every hour Kagome noticed that the heart was bleeding less and less. Soon her heart stopped bleeding completely and the other Kagome stopped crying.

When the tears stopped falling, the other Kagome lifted her head and looked into Kagome’s eyes. A small smile graced her tear stained face and she stood back as Kagome’s hands fell to her own sides. Then the other Kagome held out her healed heart with a large smile. It was obvious that she was no longer in pain, for her eyes seemed to twinkle with a happiness that seemed a bit over-due.

Then without warning the other Kagome sprouted pure white wings. The winged Kagome fanned out her new attachments and held her hands over her head with the heart floating just above them. There was a sudden bright light that came so fast Kagome was almost unprepared for it, but she held her concentration. The light seemed to envelop her in a temporary cocoon. When the light finally faded Kagome looked back and forth at first, seeking the other her. It would have appeared that the winged Kagome had left her, but then Kagome looked up and saw something that made her jaw drop at the sight.

There the other Kagome was, her back arched and wings still fanned, but she seemed to be in a peaceful sleep. Her legs and arms were apart from her body and her hair blew wildly around her. But although she looked to be in a restful sleep, she also looked... dead. It was then that Kagome noticed a pool of water beneath the other Kagome. And when she look at her face, she noticed that the other Kagome had one last tear trickle down her face, into the pool of water.

‘Those are… my tears?’ she questioned herself. There was so much water that it could have been mistaken for a lake, but Kagome knew better.

The other Kagome seemed to float back down gently and stood on top of the water in all her glory. She opened her eyes, and they were blue. Then she opened her mouth as though to speak, but what came out of her mouth astounded Kagome even more; it was as if a goddess was speaking with her.

“Kagome.... You have to walk into the spring of tears. You will not have to breathe, just keep walking until you reach the center and you are touching the bottom. That would be right below me, Kagome. At the bottom, you will have proved that you passed the test.... And there, something wonderful will happen.” she said softly, but her voice also held authority Kagome did not wish to disobey.

So she began walking to her destination. With every step the water got deeper. But not far after Kagome was where she was told to be.

‘Now what happens?’ she questioned herself.

Then in a flash the other Kagome was right in front of Kagome, with a warming smile on her face. The angelic Kagome outstretched her hand and touched Kagome on cheek. Then she came close and soon, she closed the gap and kissed Kagome on the lips. Kagome’s eyes widened in shock; she wasn’t prepare for such thing to happen and she fell on her knees, her lips still connected to the angel who looked like her.

Several moments later the other Kagome parted and looked Kagome in the eyes.

“Kagome.... You are now my sister. Although you shall not bear wings, you are now a celestial being. Your looks shall slightly change, and you will live as long as a youkai. You also now have the ability to heal as fast as a taiyoukai. There may be some side effects, since you are a miko, but you shall find what they are all your own. Farewell, Kagome. I wish you luck in the future.” she said as a parting, floating to the surface of the spring.

“Wait! Please! What is your name?” Kagome shouted, hoping to catch the woman’s name who looked so much like her.

The celestial being looked down and smiled softly, “My name is Yurushi.”

‘Yurushi... forgiveness?’ she thought absently before she disappeared.

When Yurushi reached the surface it was like she disappeared. Then falling from where she once was a katana floated down toward Kagome.

Kagome looked at the blade with curiosity and held her hand out for it. Once it was in her grasp it felt as though it was made for her and her only. As if on cue she returned to the plane which Midoriko was waiting for her. When Kagome saw the older miko she smiled widely, holding her acquired weapon in her hand. And then she heard a soft purr coming from her left shoulder.

Confused, Kagome looked at her shoulder and saw the odd kitsune on her shoulder with eyes the color of the sphere. When Kagome looked for the sphere she saw it was no where to be found. It seemed to have merged with the once misty kitsune. Still Kagome flashed the kitsune a welcoming smile. The kitsune mewed and nuzzled against her cheek.

Midoriko watched with amusement dancing in her eyes.

‘It would appear Kagome brought back her spirit animal with her.’ she thought fondly of how she had brought Kirara out with her.

“Kagome.”, she said, breaking the silence, “I’m so proud of you. You tamed your spirit beast, brought it out along with your true powers and faced your inner troubles all on your own.” she boasted.

“Now you have to name the kit. It’s like Kirara, only instead of a two-tailed fire neko it’s a nine-tailed heaven kitsune. The rarest kitsune there is. It only has one tail now because it’s so young.” Midoriko spoke, answering Kagome’s unasked questions.

“... I think I’ll name him... Shen.” she thought aloud looking at Midoriko for approval. All Midoriko did was lift an eyebrow whilst the silver kitsune licked her cheek. Kagome giggled and pet him, “Shen it is.”

Midoriko stood and walked toward the entrance. The sun outside was high, unbeknownst to Kagome she had been within herself for 3 days. Still time did not matter here. Kagome and she needn’t eat so that wasn’t any trouble.

“Kagome come. I wish for you to show me what you know before we begin your training.” Midoriko ordered.

At such Kagome stood up and blushed deeply. Kagome was pretty sure she didn’t know much of anything besides a few techniques in fighting. Still, Kagome would give it all she had. With Shen on her shoulder she walked toward Midoriko and followed her onto the grass near the willow. It was then that she noticed that Midoriko was wearing her clothes again. But as Kagome looked down to inspect herself she saw that she was wearing a small kimono.

‘H-how did I get this?’ she wondered. To someone as Kagome she felt unworthy to be able to wear such a thing. It was pure white silk with red hems and small red flower petal patterns all around.

Ignoring the fact that she was wearing something so pristine and beautiful she walked in front of Midoriko and put Shen down. It was there that she put on a strong face and took a stance. Her legs were slightly apart and bent slightly. Her arms were in front of her, hands forming a triangle and she shot forward a beam of pure energy.

When it slowed down Kagome looked at her own hands. She didn’t know she could do that! Hell she didn’t even know what she was doing. Slowly she looked over to where Midoriko was. Midoriko just sat there with a large smile on her face. It was obvious that she was proud of the young miko for showing her such power.

“Very good. Now let’s begin and take off from there.” Midoriko said with a grin on her face.

END CHAPTER