InuYasha Fan Fiction / Yu Yu Hakusho Fan Fiction ❯ Broken Promises, Shattered Dreams ❯ Chapter 16

 

 

Title: Broken Promises, Shattered Dreams
Authors: BrokenSouledPoetess and Ryukotsusei
Disclaimer: We don't own any part of Inuyasha or Yu Yu Hakusho. We merely torment the characters for our own amusement.

 

 

Chapter Sixteen

 

 

Yusuke threw himself down on the couch across from Kuwabara. He no longer knew what to do anymore, or what he wanted. He knew that he had lost his chance to make Kagome his alone, that much was certain. He also knew he didn't want to fight his friend, what he needed was some advice but with Genkai gone he didn't know where to turn. Kurama had given him the best advice he could but he wasn't certain whether or not him and Hiei could work their differences out anymore. Just looking at the demon today has sparked his jealousy to record heights. There was no way that could happen if they were to even consider Kurama's idea. His feet had brought him to Kuwabara's house of their own accord. Now he sat in front of his friend with Shizuru standing nearby with a questioning look on her face.

 

 

Kuwabara leaned back in his chair and looked at his friend, he could tell something was deeply troubling him. The question was, what was it? Few things could get the man worked up to this level and at the moment he was drawing a blank as to what the cause could be. Hell, his Mazuko markings were beginning to show. Faintly but they were still there. "Wanna talk about it Urameshi? Maybe we can help."

 

 

Yusuke threw his head back and laughed weakly. "If only you could Kuwabara. No, I think I'm shit out of luck with this problem." He always knew his life sucked ass, this just confirmed it for him. He would ask if it could get any worse but knowing his luck it would.

 

 

Shizuru walked over and sat down next to him. He looked like hell and he wasn't leaving until he at least talked about it. "Try us anyway Yusuke, it's better than just sitting there on your ass letting it eat away at you." She had never been one to beat around the bush when it came to speaking her mind.

 

 

"Fine, I'm in love with someone and.. she's in love with someone else. Sucks to be me doesn't it?" Yusuke knew there was nothing at all they could do to help. Kagome was now mated to one of the few youkai out there that could possibly be a match for him. Nothing short of death would change that and he didn't want to kill Hiei anyway, assuming he could to begin with. He saw the look of understanding dawn on Kuwabara's face and nearly stood. He shouldn't have come here, he didn't want pity. Kuwabara may be slow on somethings but he didn't nearly get the credit he deserved on most occasions.

 

 

Shizuru saw him moving to stand and quickly placed her hand on his shoulder forcing him back down. "It's Kagome isn't it? Don't give me that look we both saw how you were acting around her at the hospital and then again when you were staying at Kurama's. We aren't stupid you know." In fact Yusuke's feelings towards the girl had been their topic of conversation more than once. Neither of them realized how bad it had gotten until now however.

 

 

"So you know." Yusuke shrugged, he shouldn't have been surprised. Shizuru was exceedingly quick to catch on to things. It would also explain why she had been taking it upon herself to drop by frequently if only to say hello. She was curious as to what was going on.

 

 

Kuwabara sighed and shook his head. While he couldn't exactly say he liked Hiei he respected him. He really didn't want to see any of them hurt and even he could see how much Hiei had been hurting when he had arrived at the hospital. He couldn't agree with how Hiei had handled the situation but that was the way Hiei was. They had all come to expect a certain amount of reclusiveness from the fire apparition especially when it came to emotional issues and there was no doubt that that had been one of the taboo subjects for him. He had come back, that was the important part. But how did Kagome feel about this, did she even know? "Have you told her? Given her a chance to consider what she wants?"

 

 

Yusuke put his head in his hands. He hadn't and thats where he had lost any chance of claiming her. Instead he had tried to let her know by spending every possible moment with her while hoping that Hiei wouldn't come back. He should have known better. "No, I was stupid and now it's too late. Hiei came back last night, he made her his mate so there's no point in telling her now."

 

 

Shizuru rolled her eyes and smacked him in the back of the head. "When aren't you an idiot? So why didn't you tell her? We all know she likes you, at least you were making progress with spending time with her. And I don't care, if you sucked in bed drugged or not she would have noticed it wasn't Hiei with her at that point. I can't imagine him being horrible in bed so you must have been doing something right."

 

 

Kuwabara paled and stared at Shizuru. "Okay Sis you just ruined my appetite. Picturing how Hiei is in bed was not on my list of things to do. Thanks a lot." The thought made him cringe, it was bad enough that he had run into them once when Hiei had Kagome pushed up against the wall and it was obvious that they weren't talking. Of course, Hiei hadn't even had the decency to stop what he was doing to her. He merely glared over his shoulder and told him to get the fuck out. He didn't need to be told twice, he forgot all about making a trip to the bathroom and went back outside to join the others who were cooking out. Really, who did that sort of thing in the hallway!

 

 

"Yeah thanks Shizuru. I don't know, the time never felt right to me and.. I thought that maybe if I showed her instead... It doesn't matter, I lost my chance. Hiei wouldn't accept me as the secondary mate and Kagome wouldn't be comfortable having two mates anyway. So she'll never know how I feel." Yusuke was positive that Hiei would say no to him joining in so he wasn't even going to entertain the hopes it. He'd have to learn to live with what his life had become.

 

 

Shizuru and Kuwabara shared a look at his words, they had never heard of such a thing but somehow it didn't surprise them. Immediately Shizuru scowled when Kuwabara's look turned indignant, no doubt at the idea that demons could have more than one mate. She shook her head and stopped his outburst before it got started. It wasn't their right to judge. "I hate to say it Yusuke but you're still being an idiot. How do you think she's going to feel if you start acting differently around her. You know her, she's going to think that she's done something wrong. You need to at least tell her, that way if you two can't be around each other anymore she won't think you hate her. As for the other, that's something you would need to talk to Hiei about, he's unpredictable so you never know what he might say."

 

 

Yusuke snorted at this, yeah Hiei was unpredictable in a lot of instances but in this one the outcome was all to obvious to him. Hiei would lop his head off the moment he suggested it. Still, Shizuru did have a point as far as the other. Kagome was the type to think she had done something wrong. "I know I should but... I don't know that I can tell her. This isn't exactly easy you know."

 

 

Kuwabara stood up and walked into the kitchen. There were times he swore that Urameshi was as emotionally constipated as Hiei was, especially when it came to expressing what he felt. He rummaged around in a drawer and came up with a pad of paper and a pen. He debated finding another pad of paper for a moment, no doubt he'd bitch about their choice of stationary. He decided against it, even Kagome found kittens cute. He walked back into the room and tossed both items onto the low table in front of Urameshi. "So don't tell her in person. Write her a note, if you want one of us can give it to her."

 

 

Shizuru laughed at this, sometimes her brother came up with some of the best ideas. "Yes, tell her how you feel. I was planning on going over there today anyway so I'll drop it off for you."

 

 

Yusuke looked at the paper dubiously. Could he do this? Well, there were good points to this. Like if Hiei were there when she read it he was far enough away to be out of the danger zone. Hiei wasn't the type to necessarily kill the messenger either. "Kittens Kuwabara? I thought you grew out of that stage." He ignored the outraged cry from his friend and concentrated on what he should write. He decided to get straight to the point, just like he usually did. No beating around the bush this time. The pen met the paper in his hand and he just let his feelings flow out.

 

 

Once he was finished he folded the paper carefully and looked to Shizuru. He said nothing as she took it from him and put it in her purse. "I'll make sure that she gets it Yusuke. "

 

 

Yusuke nodded, at least this way she'll know how he felt even if the feelings would never be returned. "Thanks Shizuru. It means a lot to me."

 

 

"No problem Yusuke, I'll head over there now. You two stay out of trouble." Shizuru stood and made her way to the front door. At least Kurama's was only a short distance away, it shouldn't take her long to get there.

 

 

~*~

 

 

Hiei looked from Kagome to the small pile of clothing that she had there at Kurama's house. The weather was vastly different between here and the Makai during this season, prone to change in an instant. She would need warmer clothes that was for certain, what she had now would barely be adequate. Yet he wanted to leave now, before Yusuke had the chance to return. The longer she remained in the ningenkai the stronger the possibility was that Yusuke could lose control. "You need warmer clothing. Will you be okay here while I return to the house?"

 

 

He didn't like the idea of leaving her there but he could move a lot faster if she didn't come with him. Kurama was there as well so she would be well protected, not that he worried about Yusuke actually harming her. Personally he didn't think the man had it in him, which was a point in his favor. If he was actually going to have to think about allowing Yusuke to be here secondary mate he had to admit, she would be well protected.

 

 

Kagome nodded, trusting his judgment as far as what they should take for clothing. This would be her first trip into the Makai and she had to admit, she was a bit worried. She was a miko, guardian of a powerful jewel and about to make a trip into demon world. If it had been under any other circumstances she would have to question her sanity. "I'll be fine and besides, you'll know if anything is wrong. Right?"

 

 

"True enough. The bond is strong already, if you need me call. I'll return immediately." Hiei didn't bother with making the trip downstairs and through the front door, choosing instead to take a more direct route through the bedroom window.

 

 

Kagome stared for several long moments, she always hated to see him leave but just the same she knew he would return. That thought at least was reassuring. As she continued to look outside she saw Shizuru walking up the road. It was a good possibility that she was coming by to visit so she put aside her packing for a few minutes and went down stairs. She saw Kurama look up as she began to walk towards the front door. "Shizuru's coming."

 

 

"I just felt Hiei leave a few moments ago as well. I wonder what Shizuru is stopping by for?" Kurama stood and went into the kitchen to put on more tea, knowing that it was likely she would want some since it was rather chilly outside.

 

 

Shizuru wasn't terribly surprised when she saw the front door open and Kagome was standing there. She had seen Hiei leaving as well as Kagome standing there watching him go. She could also make out the look plainly on the girl's face. It really did look as if Yusuke was too late, but she would still deliver the letter. "Hey kiddo, how are you doing tonight?"

 

 

Kagome smiled and waved the older woman inside. Already she was catching a chill just standing there, she couldn't imagine how Shizuru was feeling. "Oh I'm fine, what are you doing walking out in this weather?" She walked beside her as they made their way into the living room and sat down. Shizuru looked troubled by something. "Is everything alright?"

 

 

"Hmm? Oh yes, everything is fine. I was asked to give you something." Shizuru opened her purse and pulled the letter out. She wondered how the girl would take it, you would have to be blind not to see that Hiei had her heart, even now after everything had happened. She just hoped that this wouldn't end badly for Yusuke, even if he was an idiot at times she didn't want to see him hurt.

 

 

Kagome took the letter from her and looked at it uncertainly. "Who's it from?" She wasn't sure that she wanted to open it if the look on Shizuru's face was anything to go by. The woman was usually serious at the best of times but she seemed even more so now. She didn't get an answer though, merely a shake of her head. Slowly she opened the letter, barely registering that Kurama had come back into the room. Her eyes skimmed over the writing, instantly recognizing it as Yusuke's.

 

 

Dear Kagome,

I don't really know where to start or why I am even writing this. I guess it is because I feel I owe something to you, even if this whole mess wasn't directly my fault, I still took part it in. Maybe, if my feelings for you had never gone past the point of friends in the first place, I wouldn't have let myself love you. But... I do love you... more than I ever did Keiko even. I am sorry if you feel that I took advantage of you; I never wanted you to feel that way. That night though, it felt like maybe you loved me back and I didn't want to let go of how warm it made me. Please know that no matter what happens, I will always be here for you... even if you only ever want me for a friend.

Forever yours,
Yusuke

 

Her breath caught in her chest and she reread it to make sure she had read it correctly. She felt all the blood drain from her face, what Hiei had said was true. Yusuke had just confirmed it, in his own words. He admitted to loving her, even before the night of the party. How could she have been so blind? The paper fell from her fingers and slipped to the floor as she stared at nothing. She wanted to kick herself for not seeing what was happening, how he must have been hurting. Yet he still helped her the best way that he knew how, even though she was oblivious to his feelings. Did she love him? In a way yes, he had claimed a part of her heart but how deep those feelings ran had never been explored. Would she ever go to him intimately? No, she loved Hiei too much to hurt him in such a way. They'd already traveled down that road once unintentionally. Yet she hated to see Yusuke hurting. Perhaps it was for the best that they were leaving.

 

Kurama immediately picked the letter up off of the floor before Shizuru had a chance to. She had been strangely silent, absorbed in watching Kagome as she read it and his curiosity had been eating away at him. His eyes skimmed over the contents of the letter, somehow he had known deep down that it was from Yusuke. His words reassured Kurama that for the moment, he was in control. For how long remained to be seen. His attention went to Kagome, she didn't seem to be taking this well.

 

Kurama folded the letter once more before stuffing it into his pocket; it wouldn't do for Hiei to find it and he knew if Kagome kept it, that would indeed happen. He had to hand it to Yusuke; this was quite possibly the smartest thing he had done yet. Even if Kagome seemed quite shaken by the entire thing, the fox knew that, had Yusuke kept his feelings to himself, more damage would be done. His heart went out to his three friends and he truly didn't envy any of them. Yusuke was wearing his heart on his sleeve right now, much the same way Kagome was. Hiei had hurt her deeply long before the incident with Yusuke at the party. He was well aware of how volatile the situation now was and he could only try and be a friend to them all. "Kagome are you going to be okay?"

 

Kagome sighed and turned to look at him."I'm fine Kurama, I just.. Didn't want to believe it. I never wanted to hurt him." Guilt came crashing down on her full force followed immediately by a wave of worry that she knew was not her own. She tried and failed miserably to lock down her emotions knowing that Hiei could feel everything that she was experiencing. The feeling of worry intensified as she continued to try and block out the emotions and she knew that it wouldn't be long before Hiei came back. That was a given and she didn't know what to tell him.

 

Shizuru put her hand on the girls shoulder gaining her attention."For what it's worth it isn't anything you did. This has been building for a while and you couldn't have stopped the way his feelings have developed. Yusuke's always been stubborn, even if you had tried it would like have made it worse." Shizuru knew that probably didn't made Kagome feel any better but it needed to be said.

 

"Made what worse?" Hiei walked into the living room, dropping the few items he had managed to get into an empty chair and turned to look at Kagome with a look of concern. He had felt her growing unease and tried to ignore it, she tended to do that on occasion. But when he felt guilt blanket her he actively tried to reach her. When she attempted to block him he stopped what he was doing and returned as fast as he could. Now she was staring at her hands and wouldn't look at him. He walked over to Kagome and forced her to look up at him. "Tell me what's going on."

 

Author's Note: There's been a request for the definitions of Mazuko and Toushin. Each are used in reference to Yusuke. Toushin has been explained to me as to mean war god. Mazuko is the race of demon that Yusuke is descended from as explained in the Chapter Black Saga. Hope this helps :)

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