InuYasha Fan Fiction / Yu Yu Hakusho Fan Fiction ❯ Regret and Choices ❯ Chapter 1 ( Chapter 1 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

^Hiei's telepathy^
*Kurama telepathy*
~Yoko telepathy~

Vibrant cobalt eyes looked around curiously. She knew she'd felt it, even just for that tiny instant. In her world where none was supposed to exist, she had felt youki. Reaching outward with her senses she could still detect it faintly. Making up her mind in an instant Kagome began to follow. It had been a year since she'd felt the glorious wild sensation of youki brush her senses and she was not going to stop till she located the youkai and saw for herself that it was indeed real. The contained youki was powerful she could feel that, and the youkai it belonged to was swift as well. She sighed as she upped her pace not wanting to lose this chance.

After what felt like hours of chasing the energy all around the city she finally could sense the youkai close by and stopped. Looking around her she realized they'd come to a tree covered area, in a park, just outside of town. She gave no thought to the danger she could be facing as she stepped around a tree.  The hiss of steel and the clink of metal were the only warning she got as a sharp katana was pressed to her throat. She should have been terrified but in reality all she could think was 'it was real'. The relief she felt in that moment removed a weight that had been nearly crushing her through day to day life. Until that moment she had been unaware of  just how badly it had been dragging her down.

An uncomfortable feeling abruptly made her flinch as the youkai easily penetrated her outer mental defenses. Unconsciously she strengthened her inner defenses protecting her memories. It was something experience had taught her when she had been captured by Akago. The youkai must have felt her do so for it began to attack those as well, looking for a weakness.

^Foolish onna why are you following me?^  A sudden male voice demanded irritably in her head interrupting her thoughts. Kagome closed her eyes for a moment as she let the timber of his voice wash over her thoughts. His ‘voice’ though dark and dangerous was also pleasant and smooth and Kagome had the sudden thought that should he truly speak, his voice would rumble a bit in his chest.

The sudden realization that she was going to die without seeing the owner of the voice hit her hard and she spoke, hoping that he would at least let her look at him, before he took her life. He hadn't moved the katana to kill her so that gave her a little hope.

“Please, youkai-san. I just want to see you,” she pleaded quietly, though startled she was unafraid. Hiei shifted his grip on the katana slightly adding a minute amount of pressure. He frowned when she did not even gasp as though resigned to her fate. Her words and the few unshielded thoughts that he could pick up left him thoroughly confused, not a feeling he liked in the least. Especially when he could feel such power from her. What kind of power it was he could not place, although something was very familiar about it and his guard went up.

^Why do you wish to see me?^ He demanded harshly again in her mind, frustrated that he could not penetrate her mental barriers and simply take the information he wanted. No, instead he was forced to ask inane questions of a human woman.  

Kagome trembled before him with tightly restrained sorrow but not fear. “It has been a year since I last laid my eyes on a youkai. I thought you were all dead,” she answered softly as the smell of salt permeated the air. He glared at the back of her head. ^Onna why are you crying?^ He asked exasperated and simply because he wished to know what would possibly possess her to weep if she was not afraid. Stepping around her when she did not answer, he glared hard in to her watery cobalt eyes with his crimson ones.

Kagome stared, unable to help herself, in to the cold, angry carmine eyes before her. He looked away first and she sighed and moved slowly to wipe her eyes with her hand. “I'm just so happy. I am so glad I met you. I can die in peace now if that is what you have planned. I will have no regrets, not now.” She smiled at him through her tears. Confused by her words and actions and the fact there was no deceit in her, he lowered the katana. Kagome, deciding the action implied he would let her go, looked at the youkai before her with interest.

His black hair rose almost to a point on the top of his head nearly resembling a black flame. It looked very soft, and she wondered for a moment what it might feel like before moving on. A star burst of white highlighted the front above a white warded bandana that had a glowing purple light behind it. He was taller than she, now that he stood at his full height, by just enough that she had to look up in to his eyes. He wore a black cloak that blended in to the shadows of the trees and disappointingly hid his form from her view, though her imagination was more than willing to supply it. In his hand she saw the glinting katana that had been at her throat. It was obvious he took pride in the weapon for it gleamed like new, however she was under no pretenses. That katana had a very bloody past and had slain many an opponent, she was certain of that. His eyes she saved for last, knowing that as soon as she looked she would be helpless again under that crimson gaze. As she had been when he glared at her.  

He was also looking her over with no expression what so ever upon his face. She was a little shorter than he, with midnight hair that fell to her slim waist. Her limbs were toned and slightly tanned. Her body was well proportioned and had curves that he himself had trouble not allowing his eyes to trace. Instead he focused on her clothes. He recognized the uniform she wore as one vaguely similar to that of Kurama's old school from when the avatar had been fifteen. In fact he was certain that it was the sister school to the one his friend had attended. He was also oddly amused to note that the fit of her blouse was horrible.

Obviously, she'd long since grown out of the thing, for it was stretched tightly across her full breasts, leaving little to the imagination except the perk of nipple and their color.  Her skirt was too short, falling barely to mid-thigh, it too looked like it was too small for her. Did she often go traipsing about like that? He wondered.  He felt his eyes drawn to the edge of her skirt as the wind blew a little. He distracted himself by looking elsewhere. Her face was pleasant to the eyes with her fine feminine features and plump, full pink lips. Her eyes, he decided silently, were too bright and warm to match her actions. Their blue was a little unnerving as humans in Japan just did not have such a color naturally.

He noticed absently as he took in her full appearance that the cloth of her uniform was worn and tattered in odd places. One such place looked suspiciously like claw marks that had been clumsily  patched. He frowned. It had been clear from the get-go that she knew of youkai. But the question was how was that even possible? He tried again to pry into her mind and found no weaknesses at all in her mental defenses.

Kagome fidgeted  nervously as his eyes scrutinized her. She felt very self conscious of her clothes that she knew were too small and yet had put them on any way. This uniform was special to her. Though thread bare now, it held some of her most happy memories and her sad ones too. Even the claw marks on the sleeve made her remember.

They had come about from Inuyasha attacking her while they were in the final battle, after two long years, with Naraku. The tainted jewel had been nearly too much for her beloved friend and Naraku had tried to make him kill her. It had been a terrifying ordeal, as he had pushed her forcefully off of a cliff while his youkai blood was in control. The scent of Kagome's blood had convinced his mind that he had killed her and he nearly lost himself to darkness. Fortunately Kagome's voice had brought him back. Naraku was defeated then and the well had sent her back. That had been one long lonely year ago. She had known that her time in the past couldn't last forever. This was her home and a woman from the future didn't belong in the past.

Slowly she raised her eyes and met the crimson eyes of the youkai. She drew a deep breath at what she saw in those carmine orbs. Confusion and curiosity were predominate in those inhuman eyes, which glittered at her with unasked questions and unmasked anger. But hidden deeper was something she recognized instantly. Pain. The anger and frustration were secondary emotions.

His darker aura brushed hers and she felt her eyes close from the intensity of deeper emotions that she only could detect because of her holy power. His aura itself, was conflicted first fire, then ice. Kagome felt tears prick her eyes as she recognized him for who and what he was. She'd heard of him in her travels, though not his name. He was supposedly the only Forbidden Child to have survived.

It was sad. So very sad to think of the hurt and loneliness he must have gone through. Obviously he was too proud and collected to do so, and so she cried for him. As she opened her eyes again he was still looking at her with a mixture of shock and more confusion.

Hiei was unsure of what to think about the woman standing there. Her thoughts were loud enough for him to pick up as she looked him over.  He felt an odd swell of male pride as she assessed him and mentally said, “Wow he's so...sexy.” Then, like a bucket of ice water her next thoughts had him staring at her with a frown and seriously considering if it would be worth it to rot in Reikai prison for killing her.

Not only did she know of youkai but she knew who he was and what. How though he had no clue. Then her actions left him baffled. She was crying for him. It was ridiculous and preposterous and yet he could find no lie in her as she wept for his pain. He knew nothing about her. Not a name had passed between them but here this human was shedding crystalline drops for his sake. His katana fell from limp fingers landing with a soft whump in the grass. Nothing of this nature had ever happened before to the apparition he had no idea of what to do...so he ran.

He was gone so swiftly that Kagome hadn't even seen him move. She sighed as she fell to her knees and reverently picked up the only proof he'd even been standing there. Standing she cradled the razor sharp katana in her arms as though it was the most precious thing in the world to her. Perhaps it was. Absently she touched the hilt and sighed she could still feel the warmth from his hand.  

Miles away from the girl Hiei looked angrily at his empty sheathe. He was disgusted with himself for running and even angrier at himself for leaving his weapon. Glaring back the way he'd come he shrugged. He'd get it back. That he knew for sure. There was no place the onna could run even if she tried.


Kagome was exhausted as she reached the top of the steps to Higurashi shrine. She could sense that no one was home and so went in and straight to her room. Glancing around she spotted the sword rack that she'd brought up from one of the store houses for the Tetsuaigua to rest on when Inuyasha had been around. Reverently she picked up a soft cloth and gently polished the blade till it gleamed before she set it gently on the rack that rested in the middle of her desk. She had long ago stopped leaving the curtains open and the window unlocked, and so, with out another thought she walked in to the bathroom.

She hummed as she prepared her bath and then went in search of something to eat. Yes, she knew that it wasn't a great idea to fill her belly before a hot bath but her stomach was growling hungrily. She felt lighter since meeting the youkai, so she fairly skipped down the stairs to the kitchen while humming the same tune as she had been earlier. The phone ringing interrupted her as she passed it in the hall.

“Hai, Higurashi desu,” Kagome greeted as she answered. She sighed happily as her mother's voice answered.

“Hi, Mama.”

“Yeah, till tomorrow night.”

“I needed to restock my supplies.”

“Yeah, same spot. No, I haven't been cold at night. It's a good tent.”

“Um, dinner?  I'll just make something here.”

“Okay. Love you too Mama.”

After hanging up the phone Kagome continued to the kitchen and opened the refrigerator door. Scanning the shelves she located the leftover chicken and the mayonnaise. Finding some vegetables she made short work of the ingredients and spices. When she was satisfied with the flavor she spread the mixture on the rolls she had found and set them on a plate. She didn't often allow herself luxuries like this anymore, except during the times she returned to the house to restock.

After living day to day in the feudal era and living off the land, Kagome had found it rather difficult to return to the modern world. She had failed every college exam and would have been attending make up classes so she could try again in the spring, but her heart just wasn't in it. She felt uncomfortable in her own skin here.  It had been her mother who had come up with a solution.  

The Higurashi shrine rested on a rather large amount of land and was bordered in the back by forest. While it wasn't the feudal era it would still give Kagome the connection to the land she was used to and still have her modern conveniences when she chose to return to the house or if it got too cold. Ji-chan had tried to convince her to let him and Sota build her a simple hut out in the forest but she wouldn't let them go through the trouble. With a sigh, Kagome walked back up to her room with her sandwiches. She really wanted time alone to just think and was grateful that her family was going to be staying in a hotel tonight due to a school function for Sota.  Kagome was so wrapped up in her thoughts that when she suddenly noted that she was not alone she was kind of alarmed that she hadn't felt him.

Hiei had found her trail almost too easily. Although he'd detected her power earlier, he was shocked that it led to a shrine of all places. The girl was a Miko? Impossible! How had he missed what she was? He frowned. Probably since Miko of her caliber just didn't exist any more. There was no need for them to be the warriors they had once been. Now Shrine Maidens was what they were called. They were common throughout Japan, but this woman she was nothing like the others who posed no threat...  He smirked coldly as he sized up the energy around the shrine and noted with satisfaction that the girl was there and she was alone.  

Perfect. He'd simply take back his sword and then the girl would simply vanish without a trace. She was a wild card and, now that he knew she was a powerful Miko, a danger. In fact he was rather surprised that she hadn't tried to purify him on the spot. He didn't need her pity or her tears.  It had probably been a clever ruse to unnerve him and damn her, it had worked. Well it wouldn't this time.


He'd lead her to the Makai and there find plenty of youkai to do his dirty work. It was a perfect plan right up until he picked the locks to her window and saw his katana polished to a mirror shine resting on a sword rack. He frowned in confusion. He'd expected the weapon to be shoved in a closet or tossed in to one of the many storage houses but this was nearly overwhelming to him. Not only had she polished it, but then placed it on a rack intended for a weapon of high honor? What was her game? Hiei was so caught up in his thoughts he didn't hear her come in.

“I knew you would come back for it,” she replied softly as she slowly sank to the floor where she had been standing. Casually she leaned her weight back on to her hands in an open friendly position her plate balanced on her lap. She noticed his expression and she smiled. “Would you like a sandwich?  Its chicken salad,” she offered holding out the plate.

Hiei didn't even glance at the food. His guard had been less than it should have been and she had startled him. That rankled him badly. She was an enemy, so why hadn't the Jagan warned him? He glared at the woman sitting on the floor, noting her open posture. Clearly she knew too much about his kind.  ^Why?^ he demanded mentally. He had to know and her damn mental barriers were still impassable no matter how hard he tried.

Kagome was uncertain of what precisely he was asking but she answered him anyway. “Because I like youkai. I have great respect for your race and have many youkai friends. So youkai, hanyou, human it doesn't matter to me I like people for who they are.” They watched each other uncertainly. Hiei uncertain of her motives and Kagome uncertain whether he'd believe her even though she spoke the absolute truth and knew he could tell.   

Hiei scoffed aloud while absently taking one of the offered sandwiches. A Miko who liked youkai? Ridiculous But then, he'd heard of one once before...

Kagome smiled a little that he had chosen to eat and picked up the remaining sandwich. They ate in a somewhat comfortable silence, though she could see him mulling over what she'd said. He hadn't really said anything vocally to her at all but Kagome knew that she couldn't keep calling him Youkai-san, it was rude. And if there was one thing she knew, most youkai hated and were very likely to hold a grudge for, it was rudeness. Of course those had been the animal type youkai of the canine family, and she knew nothing of the elemental type. There was only one way to find out, so she gathered her courage and spoke.

“I'm Kagome Higurashi, what is your name?” she asked casually, as though trying to start a conversation. She wasn't sure he would answer but she rather hoped he would. He glared at her as he stuffed the rest of the sandwich in his mouth. He had been enjoying the silence while he ate the surprisingly good sandwich though he'd never admit that to anyone. What was it about humans and names? What possible reason did she think that she deserved to learn his name? A name gave one power over another even if it was only a minute amount. No one except the Reikai had power over him, period and when he figured out how to break free of that, no one ever would again.

As he moved slightly to lean against the wall a glint of light hit the edge of his katana and he frowned. His blade had never looked better. Perhaps he was being a little ridiculous. Hiei stood there watching her without a twitch of a muscle. She had confused him, frustrated him and then fed him? She was an enigma. He knew that she knew what he was and yet she held no revulsion or fear of him.  Still her name struck a chord with in him. Where had he heard her name? “Hiei,” he replied in a voice that was low and rough from disuse.

“Hiei-san. It suits you very well,” she began only to be interrupted

“No, just Hiei,”  he corrected snappishly, looking down at her with his cold crimson eyes. She smiled up at him, clearly unafraid and pleased that he would answer her question. Hiei though was not certain of whether he liked the sound of his name from her lips. Or rather he liked it a little too well for comfort.

“Would you like some tea, Hiei?” Kagome asked politely. Hiei looked down at her for a moment before voicing a noncommittal “hn”  

With a light gesture Kagome beckoned him to follow her and climbed to her feet silently grateful that she had changed out of the old uniform and in to a pair of sweats and a t-shirt when she'd gotten home. He kept his distance as he followed her after deciding he would get his katana later. She gasped suddenly, stopping in her tracks “I left the water on in the bath. Be right back!” she said as she darted in to a room where Hiei could hear water running. His eyes were narrowed at her for the unexpected deviation. He still didn't trust her and startling him was not in her best interest.

Kagome's cheeks were pink as she ducked her head in a small bow. “Sorry about that. It was not my intention to alarm you.” She smiled at him warmly before continuing down the stairs and in to the kitchen.    

Hiei followed her simply to not let her out of his sight. It was basic survival, as long as he was in her territory he was not going to turn his back to her and he wasn't about to let her take him off guard. He was unnerved by her earlier vague thoughts that had indicated she knew him from somewhere, though he could never recall having seen her face before.

As he pondered this he was watched her scurry around the kitchen. She was paying no attention to him as she worked and he frowned. Where had she possibly been that she was so very familiar around youkai? She tossed her midnight hair behind her shoulder with a graceful flip of her wrist, the way in which she preformed the movement, struck another chord in his thoughts. It was distant memory from centuries before but in his mind it was crystal clear. Her face, her hair, that baffling ease with youkai and her name...Kagome.

Now he knew why her name seemed so familiar.  Five hundred plus years ago the Shikon no Miko's name was Kagome Higurashi. And though it had only been for a brief time he'd seen her then. She'd been sitting on a log at the edge of a river in the sunlight, the wind blowing through her midnight hair. He'd stopped and watched her for a moment. Of course he'd heard of the jewel but he had no interest then or now in strength he didn't earn. What had drawn him were the tales that she, the Legendary Miko, traveled with youkai.

Back then he had been younger and far more impulsive. He hadn't harbored any grudge against humans though he didn't associate with them either. No, it was more that he left them alone and they did the same, an unspoken agreement. Survival back then was difficult enough for him, he didn't need to invite trouble, it found him on its own. That's what had drawn him to see for himself if there really was a village in Edo that welcomed a few peaceful youkai.

She had looked lonely sitting there alone, but her aura was welcoming and he had found for an instant that he was at peace.  Then that mutt, that hanyou had come barreling into the clearing like a bull in a china shop, and he had decided that approaching the onna was not worth dealing with a fool who was surely to die at his hands should he stay. He remembered vaguely telling himself he'd come back someday.  That had been the first and last time he'd seen her. His face darkened for an instant before recalling words an old hiyoukai metal bender once said to him after she'd disappeared.

“Kagome was a strange girl, but one only had to talk with her to know that there wasn't another like her before or since. Her love for all of us was genuine and there wasn't a greater feeling anywhere than to know you were loved and accepted by her.”   

 Hiei looked at her silently as she gathered everything and set it on the table. Tea and snacks.  His was confusion still goading him. He recalled that he had wondered at her odd clothing and her mannerisms described in the tales; however, now he knew the two had to be one and the same.  The question again was how? That same question kept repeating itself as he felt like he was mentally running in circles. How had she survived looking the same as she had then? Did she know the havoc she wreaked when she vanished?

Deciding that he needed proof it was indeed the same woman Hiei decided to test her. He waited until she had seated herself before following suit and picking up the tea she offered only after she took a drink of her own. Though he would never say so aloud he was slightly pleased with the choice of tea, it was mint: and it had been sweetened to his liking. Odd, how had she known?

Kagome looked over and saw the strange suspicious look on his face, and set her tea down. Realizing after a second, that she had sweetened his tea, she decided that had to be the cause of his suspicion. “Do you not like it sweetened, Hiei?” she asked standing and reaching for his cup.  “I'm so sorry I did it out of habit, but I can pour you another cup unsweetened if you like.” she offered quickly. He shook his head slightly before moving the cup out of her reach. “Sit down, Onna” he stated with a hint of command in his voice.

Sitting back down Kagome picked up her cup to take another drink when Hiei spoke again. “How is the Inu Hanyou, Shikon no Miko?” His question had been blunt and to the point but what he hadn't expected was her bursting in to tears and not just tears but jarring, body-wracking sobs. The cup slipped from her fingers. It was only reflex that made him catch it before it hit the table. Her face being buried in her hands did not permit him to see her face and that angered him since he could not just pluck her reason for tears out of her head.

“I'm no longer the Shikon no Miko and... Inuyasha is dead.”

Kagome's voice was so choked with sobs that it took him a moment to decipher the words she spoke. But when he finally did they left him with far more questions than answers. Though he did have one answer. He was indeed in the presence of the very woman he thought she was. Now that he knew he had even more questions. However, he had no tolerance for emotional females. Deciding he'd had enough for one night he moved to leave, but her small tear soaked hand grasped hold of his cloak as her voice quietly stopped him

“Please, Hiei. Please stay just a little longer?”


Converting /tmp/php9qn9Ae to /dev/stdout