InuYasha Fan Fiction / Yu Yu Hakusho Fan Fiction ❯ The Blue Anshan ❯ Interlude 4 - Ember ( Chapter 47 )

The Blue Anshan

By Alesyira

Summary: after the fire, embers linger on...

Chapter Rating: T

Disclaimer: This is original content.

-o-

Interlude 4 - Ember

a long time ago

Connections

Trapped far away from home on an unfamiliar shore, she waited, staring out across the endless waters.

Voice silenced in her shock, she waited, the thundering crash of waves drowning out the pleas of her cousin to return to the house for meals.

Shivering against the chill of the sea breeze, she waited, the warmth of his magic showing her where she could find him again.

Wide awake through the long hours of day and night, she waited, the escape of sleep and dreams far from her mind.

The family she had been handed to some weeks ago watched her with pity and sadness. Hananoki didn't want their pity. Her cousin had heard awful stories of the fire clan's evildoing. Her cousin tried to get her to see reason, reminding her often why she was there.

Hana tried to not think about ripping her cousin's tongue out for her mistaken assumptions. She took a deep breath when her rage began to overwhelm her. Too much misinformation had been passed around, poisoning their opinions. She'd tried to replace the bad stories with good, but as time passed it became clear that nothing she said would change her cousin's mind.

She'd seen too much of Ryuu's curiosity, kindness and restraint to ever truly believe that he could be evil, just because of his nature. Someone's element didn't make them bad. The way that life fell to ash, helpless as it shriveled beneath the ravages of fire didn't make it wrong. The fire clan had done their best to protect the sanctity of life, yet lives had still been lost due to the wild nature of their element. Failures shouldn't define a person's worth or their alignment. Hana knew too much to entertain the idea that he had been bad.

She tried swimming back, once. The water rejected her as soundly as she'd expected, sapping her energy and leaving her nearly lifeless as she sank beneath the waves. Only her observant cousin's quick reaction saved her from drowning. She missed swimming, but she missed him more. Every fiber of her being yearned for him. Her heart had been left behind on that distant land. She blamed herself, wishing she'd stayed with him that night. If she had let go of her doubts and joined with him as they'd planned, things would have been different. At the very least, they would have been together in death.

Their connection influenced every aspect of her life, sometimes unexpectedly. It took time to convince the flora that she wasn't going to burn down the forest. And then, when she played with her tiny seeds and sprouted them into winding plants, curls of his magic in her breath infused the delicate, fragile creations with a beautiful metallic structure and froze them in place. She was shocked the first time it happened, but then she embraced the wild nature of the magic and began to leave tiny trinkets everywhere, hoping that it would serve as an additional beacon to bring him back to her side.

When the cooking fire tempted her to draw close—closer—and dip her fingers into the burning warmth, her cousin looked on in confusion as she cried over the flames, uninjured yet miserable. She hid from the rain, trembling and lethargic under the closest shelter. She couldn't sleep and spent much of her time either wandering alone in the dark forest or sitting next to the hearth fire, staring at the flickering light with her arms curled around bent knees.

Hana had become like a stranger to her family, changed from just a child of the forest through her love and connection to the son of the fire clan.

One foggy, cool morning, the cousin awoke to realize Hana was missing, her scent stale as though she hadn't been home at all the previous night. Worried, she scoured the forest, tracking Hana's aimlessly winding trail through the damp underbrush. She was surprised when she finally found her shivering body curled in the dirt, asleep for the first time in over a month.

Days passed, and still Hana slept. Her cousin was unable to rouse her to eat or drink, and only her mate's assurances that Hana's energies seemed healthy kept her from panic. When word arrived about the state of her island and the apparent death of every inhabitant, Hana was still lost to the waking world, trapped in her dreamless rest.

Her cousin's mate, a kind silver male that had quietly viewed her loss with sadness and silent prayers for her happiness, was the one that broke the news once she'd finally awoken. Silence draped their warm home like a thick shroud, and she stared at the fire as she allowed his words to sink in.

The glimmer of warmth leading her back to him had faded as she had slept, and she was inclined to believe the horrific tale. She couldn't be bothered to mourn for her dead family. Her heart had been shredded when they'd conspired to take her away from Ryuu. She would need to find a way to forgive them, first. But she mourned the loss of her connection to him. He might still be alive, somewhere, but she could no longer be certain.

The first tears fell, and then they refused to stop. It felt like she would weep forever, but in the end it was only a few weeks before her eyes finally dried, leaving her feeling empty and aimless. She returned to the shore and spent much of her time looking out over the ocean, hoping that he'd just gone to Rest and would awaken again one day soon.

They could still be together, one day.

Ten years went by, her hope lingering but fading in her sadness. They'd never been apart for so long. Her dreams were black, bleak, empty. No warm visions of her missing love. Was he truly gone?

Late one evening, a ghostly fox slid through the forest, its unnatural glow drawing her glance before she dismissed its presence and turned back to stare out over the water toward her lost home. A stranger followed behind it at some distance and, his attention apparently riveted to the glowing creature, missed the piece of pale driftwood lodged in the sand and clumsily tripped into view. He sighed noisily in irritation, then gasped when he noticed her for the first time. The fox vanished as he carefully approached and knelt at her side. The scent of mossy earth trailed behind him, curling through the air in brief hints against the ocean breeze.

He stared up at her profile illuminated in the moonlight. She could feel the weight of his gaze but didn't look at him. She wanted everyone to leave her alone. She had no wish to trouble anyone else with her problems, with her loss, with her grief. Her cousin thought she was stupid to love someone who must surely be evil and was now probably dead. The kind silver seemed to be in pain every time Hana was around them, so she kept her distance.

Undeterred by her silence and refusal to give him her attention, he introduced himself as Kasei, third son of the northern clan.

After long minutes of him peering up at her, waiting for some kind of response, she finally sighed and glanced at him, intending to tell him to leave. She paused as she saw his open and sweet expression, with rounded cheeks and wide eyes like a little boy only half-grown. She blinked in confusion. He certainly sounded grown, but he looked… he looked like he needed…

She stopped thinking about what he looked like. "Go away," she said.

"But-" he began, cutting himself off as she held up her hand.

"You are not wanted here. I'd rather be alone."

"Alone forever? How long have you been sitting here by yourself? You're so sad. I can feel this… this misery hanging around you like fog."

She stared at him. He couldn't really sense her sadness, could he? "I'm waiting… for someone," her voice faltered and trailed off into a whisper.

"Miss, I was brought here to your side for some purpose. If you're waiting for someone, then maybe you shouldn't be waiting alone. I can sit here and keep you company until they arrive. I won't just leave."

He was convinced that Inari herself had brought him to her, and upon seeing her sadness he knew it must be to help her escape the pain of loss that had plagued her. It sounded idiotic, especially when he mentioned how many days he'd been following that little ghost fox (two weeks).

She furrowed her brows in suspicion as she stared at the details of his face. She'd been content, ensconced in her wretchedness as she waited for something that may or may not come to pass, and then suddenly some childishly handsome kitsune male appears, claiming to be sent from some divine being that her cousin's mate loved to babble about.

Maybe he had been sent as a distraction, but from whom? There supposedly wasn't much left of her family. One misguided cousin. The rest gone. Divine intervention? Doubtful. But…

She sighed and turned her gaze back out to the water. What harm could one person do?

He sighed and settled in for a long wait. He'd do his best.

She could see nothing but sweet kindness in this male, and it was hard for her to hang on to her heartbreak and suspicion the longer he tagged along for her many quiet wanderings beside the shore. She tried more than once to make him leave, but he couldn't be kept away for long as he politely obsessed over her comfort and needs. He was like a lost puppy, perpetually unsteady on the sand (he found something to trip over at least once per day) and intensely curious about the ocean, her experiences, and the strange fire he could sense within her.

She found comfort in having someone new to talk to. He hadn't heard any of the stories from her island, and he was an excellent listener, accepting of her observations with thoughts of his own about the possible motivations of the others in her life. They didn't always agree, but it was a welcome change from being told she'd been lied to and misled by the man she'd loved. He treated her like someone who had lost what they loved and needed support, not judgment.

He sat with her every night, listening to her stories and telling her his own. He shape-shifted into many forms and worked hard to delight and impress her with his magic. He had fire of his own, but it was flashy and cold to the touch, a clever lie of his energy used to distract and defend.

Her sadness never went away, but it faded over time. As he gained her trust, she eventually agreed to a dangerous outing to ease her heart. One day, he bartered with a local fishing village so that the two of them could make the journey across the water back to her island.

She stared in shock at the blackened ruins of everything she'd known in her youth. Kasei waited some distance away as she crept through a tangle of branches to find the glade where she and Ryuu had lain in one another's arms, whispering sweet words and trading snips of energy through long kisses and exploring fingertips. The little nest was cold and empty, and she curled into herself on the scattered pine needles and clutched her knees to her chest.

She'd finally made it home, but he was not here. She hadn't sensed him for over ten years. The tingle of his magic that showed her where he could be found hadn't returned since she'd fallen into that long sleep so many years ago.

"Hana?" a quiet voice called. She felt her eyes well with tears. Kasei had been so sweet and understanding, supportive, a listening ear and a shoulder to lean against. He was a good friend. She thought about sending him back to the mainland without her. She could wait here for the rest of her days. Maybe Ryuu wasn't dead, and he would one day come back to her. Maybe she'd wake up and it would all be just some terrible nightmare.

Kasei crawled clumsily through the underbrush and fell into the glade at her side in a tangle of limbs, getting a bunch of dried pine needles stuck in his unruly hair. "You're silly," she whispered as she plucked the brown detritus from his head.

He stared up at her with surprise in his wide eyes and pink on his cheeks. He reached up and caught her hand as it sifted through his messy hair, and he tugged her gently toward him, his eyes on her lips. She stopped him with a hand against his chest and pain in her expression. "Not here. This place is full of sad memories."

"Make a new memory," he suggested, pleading with his eyes that she move on from her loss.

She gave him a sad smile and pressed her cheek to his cool forehead. He sighed and leaned into her partial embrace, soaking in her warmth as the two sat in silence beneath the canopy of trees.

Eventually, night fell. She wanted to stay on the island. The mainland held nothing of interest to her, and her hopes were no longer dangling beyond her reach across an insurmountable distance.

He refused to leave her behind to stew in her sadness alone, so they stayed together on the island. He built a small home for her on the shore. The fishermen from the mainland village returned often, and eventually others began to inhabit the island once more.

She explored every nook and cranny she could find on her island, hoping to find some sign of where he'd gone or where he'd died. She slid into super-heated vents, bracing herself against the nearly overwhelming warmth in search of clues. Her strange heat resistance did not extend so far that she could plunge her hand into the molten rock as Ryuu had once demonstrated, but she could stand at the edge of the quietly roiling red liquids and stare for hours, wondering if his body was nearby, cradled within its impregnable depths.

Kasei was patient through it all. He'd been guided here for a task, and if he was meant to be her friend until her heart mended, he'd remain at her side until she no longer needed him.

When she returned from exploring crevices too hot for him to stand, he'd greet her with a smile and a snack.

When the haunting loneliness of her loss started to creep back into her eyes, he'd distract her with silly games and pretty flowers.

When she collapsed to her knees at the edge of a cliff, screaming her rage at finding the broken stone bodies scattered there, he pulled her into his arms and held her tight. She clawed and she cried and tried to wrench free, but he held tight until she'd spent her anger.

Time, wind, and rain had eroded the features of the face she'd found, but she stone color and pattern was heartbreakingly familiar. If this wasn't Ryuu, it was definitely one of his family in pieces. She could only guess at what had happened to them all.

Years later, after thousands of days of waiting and effort to draw her away from her sadness, Kasei eventually convinced her to come with him back to the mainland. He wanted her to meet his family, to make new memories and stop waiting for a day that should have come over twenty years ago.

He held her warm hand as they sat together on the small deck of the fishing boat. It slid quickly through the waves heading to the mainland.

She didn't look back.

Disconnect

The deepest shadows could be banished with the light of the sun, and so he smiled. He brushed his fingertips through her soft hair as she dozed. He flung his arm over her shoulder as they strolled (he was still a bit clumsy and she kept him from falling more often than not). He offered her a hundred thousand little reasons to smile back.

She burned him the first time they kissed. He laughed as she fussed over his injury, but there was a tightness around his eyes. He tried to hide the pain that she'd found another love before his, that she hadn't been able to truly let it go. But he accepted that her first love would always be a part of who she was, and his pain that he'd be second in her heart might never compare to her hurt of losing the person she'd previously thought to be hers forever.

She had to learn how to share her magic once again. She gave little bits of herself to the man that did his very best to pull the broken pieces of her heart back together.

Destiny. Fate. She couldn't believe that she'd been meant to lose her Ryuu, but she could believe that this happily insistent male was somehow meant to help her become whole once more.

If that wasn't the truth, then he was the most idiotic stubborn male she'd ever had the pleasure of meeting. She enjoyed his stories, his attention to detail, his clumsiness. They were both still young enough to have growing to do.

Years passed as they grew into themselves.

She met his extended family, and they welcomed his "task from Inari" with glowing smiles and open arms. She had thought that his lifelong quest to heal her had been an idiotic gesture or some imaginary thing he'd concocted to explain following the ghostly fox. But his family didn't judge his choice to pursue the broken burning girl from the cursed island.

She had thought that her family supported her wanderings and growing affection for Ryuu, but he'd been rightfully wary of them, and she'd begun to sense their concern and reservations with the tiny hints in her family's expressions and the whisperings overheard late at night. Kasei's family showed no such misgivings, and she learned to appreciate that every family was different, and some were worth keeping.

Kasei took her on adventures throughout the land, and together they saw many things she'd never imagined in her wildest dreams. Ancient trees with faces that could hold conversations, strange humans with pointlessly large homes surrounded by "great" walls that any magical being could easily hop right over, sentient creatures that grew taller than the forests she liked to wander.

Eventually Hananoki came to understand that what she'd thought of as the mainland was merely another—albeit larger—island, and across the huge expanse of water to the west was the true mainland, bigger than anything Kasei's family had explored. She wondered if one day they might travel so far away.

-o-

Their slow build of trust and love eventually resulted in a child.

She realized something had changed long before she knew of her little kit growing within her. Her connection to the strange magics of her first love almost completely vanished overnight. She no longer had a strange aversion to water, and as rain fell in heavy sheets the next morning, she was surprised that her normal rain-lethargy was gone. She put her hand out under the deluge, marveling at the warmth of the droplets.

Fire no longer called to her. Kasei was concerned that she seemed much cooler than she had before, and her inner glow had dimmed.

She felt healthy, though, and her appetite increased. Their worries faded as the kit within her grew.

She curled herself around this gentle warmth within her, and her heart wept in both joy and sadness as she sensed the tiny flicker of that burning magic buried deep within her abdomen.

Such joy on the day her little heart, her tiny treasure, was born.

Such wonder at his sweet face, his bright green eyes, the tuft of red hair.

Such marvel at his little fingers which wrapped strongly, warmly, around her own.

Such adoration in that little smile as he beamed up at her.

Her heart fell to pieces and reshaped around this tiny being with the flicker of fire burning within his chest. She held him to her breast and swore she'd never let go of this tiny flame, her last connection to the one she'd loved and lost so long ago.

-o-

Author's Note: apologies for the delay. It took a while to wrap my heart around this one. rough waters. If you're enjoying the adventure, plz drop a kudos on AO3 or a few words on whatever site you're using to escape reality. I'd originally intended there to be only four interludes, but breaking this one in half made sense, so there's still a bit more to read regarding these star-crossed lovers.