InuYasha Fan Fiction / Yu Yu Hakusho Fan Fiction ❯ The Real Folk Blues ❯ Crossing through the mirror world ( Chapter 8 )
[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]
Disclaimer: I don't own anything peeps! I don't own Yu Yu Hakusho or InuYasha, Sunrise and Viz owns them, nor do I earn money from this piece of writing.
-
Title: The Real Folk Blues
Author: Adorkablebanana
Chapter 8: Crossing through the mirror world
-
P.O.V.D: Kagome
-
"Never judge a book by its movie."
- J.W. Eagan
- J.W. Eagan
It was dark. It was ominously dark and the scent in the air practically smothering in an eerie field could descend chills across flesh. Kagome walked blinded, her only reliance was her ears and sense of touch, other than that she faded into a realm blindfolded where sight is out of reach and smell, even the emotion of warmth. She walked alone solitarily down the invisible chosen path she pointed out by wit and mere hunches, anything other than that was mere guesses.
"Where am I?" she asked, frightened and confused by her surroundings. "Where am I?" Kagome started panicking, she ran to an unknown direction, befuddlement disappearing in and out her mind. Where is she and why? For what cause? That is the main question.
Running through the black darkness towards the unknown, hoping to escape it. Kagome ran, her speed rivaling the pace of her nervous beating heart, faster and faster with still no avail.
'What is this place!' Her heart encouraged her to follow the path her instincts beckoned on. She did despite fear's spell weaving her in deeper and deeper in its clutches. She ran forward, going and going. Going and continuing to go on in what seemed to be stretched out to an eternity. A brief light shined a dim glow, engulfing a corner of the darkness and pushing her body's will to run where the light shone. She chased after to where the light was calling, telling her to come. She listened to it complying with the unknown entities' orders.
She'll do anything to leave this wretched darkness for good.
The moment her foot stepped into the light a blinding flash engulfed her and her surroundings. Frightened and screaming, her cries fell on silent ears. No one could save her; this was a one-way path driving her in twisters, taking no specific direction.
All Kagome could do was shut her eyes tight and scream, yell for the help that would never come…
Fluttering her eyes open, the blazing sunlight peeking out through the webbing tree branches and the luscious leaves shielding her enough under the cooling shade. Kagome sat up, rubbing her swirling skull, the lurching sensation still within her. "Where am I now?" she asked herself in awe wonderment.
First she was in a deserted black hole, where the world seemed to be put on pause, now she's in some serene, tranquil forest where the flora flourished for miles around.
The green fresh grass beneath her radiated a clean, refreshing, young outlook, frolicking in all its magnificent glory and filling a déjà vu air circulating Kagome senses. Kagome was reminded it's the feudal era allover again. The change of environment relaxed her a bit compared to her earlier panicked state, although she couldn't remain here basking the greenery as much as she desired to. She needed to figure out where she stood and how to get back home.
Attempting to stand up, her strained body refused to comply and move on her orders. She fell back again, flat on the soft grass. Her dark hair fanning out like spilled black ink, pooling over the ground in a black puddle. The peace her body swarm in was astounding, it surprised her so much because it has been ages since her body and mind clicked off worried mode.
She even exhausted her family with her troubles and for that mistake she wanted to repent for the numerous times Yuusuke, Atsuko, her mother, and her friends concerned themselves over her meager affairs. Why should other people go bald for her troubles?
Yuusuke and Atsuko certainly didn't need involvement in her affairs.
Perplexed as the situation got she wanted to laugh, yes laugh. She just couldn't find the capacity to drown herself in stress at the moment. She felt marvelous and she knew not a clue only it had to do something with this Garden of Eden she currently wallowed in.
"So this is what it feels like when you lose it?" Rolling to her side, the pasture caressing her cheek, the soft blades of grass sliding up and down her skin. She really missed this, missed the warring states era's world. The adventure plagued her thoughts, oh what she would give to visit the zone where her dearest of friends existed. Where she felt more real and accepted.
"I really miss it," she thought out loud. She missed her friends; she missed the thrill and rush of fighting demons and collecting shards. She missed home, her second home, where she could be herself and not hide her true identity. She wasn't anything special by all means, she just could sense things most individuals can't and knew of things others believe were among myths and legends.
Her longing to be back is now but a farfetched dream. It's over.
Pushing once more back to what matter, to find exactly where she stood. Kagome forced her legs to stand. Wobbling, testing her legs, she took hesitant steps till her limbs started functioning properly again. 'I must have fallen like the last time.' She recalled a disturbing memory when InuYasha accidentally dropped her from a cliff. She landed face flat on a thick tree branch, then after, snapped the branch off the tree with her weight and hitting her foot on the way down. Spraining an ankle, she fell into a raging river.
Regaining his composure, InuYasha no less then a heartbeat dove in after her, leaping them out to safety. No extreme injuries marred them, just minor bumps. In Kagome's case: a sprained ankle. The memory of the event twisted her features in a distasteful expression. She had to be carried around like a new born by either InuYasha, Kirara, Miroku, (with Shippou near for precaution. Miroku felt that unnecessary and indignant) and even Sango till her ankle healed. Those two long, long tiring weeks of being treated like delicate glass, if she had it bad when in good health imagine the treatment with a sprained foot? Oh, she could go on for days telling the annoying torture she went through.
Getting side tracked again, she shook her head to clear flitting, unnecessary thoughts. She passed through the green plain honestly feeling as if she visited this particular area once. Could be? Why not, she's been allover the place with InuYasha, but why would she return here again? Who brought her here?
She suddenly stopped in her tracks like a heart abandoning the steady rhythm it pumped on every living moment. The familiar cool dull spread in the air raised the hair on the back of her neck from its power. The coolness had nothing to do with the weather, it was all in the metaphysical energy emitted by an individual and depending on the level of power anyone can manipulate and control it. Kagome didn't need to dig deep to sense this. The figure sitting gracefully on the ground before her gave her a stroke, literally. She felt like she was having a heart attack, the air leaving her lungs and forgetting how to reenter them.
Kagome froze in her tracks; her body weighting her down and nothing seem to function right. The shock flooding her veins made it hard to focus on anything and she found it difficult to react to the astounding revelation she sought out unknowingly and discovered sitting calmly as if a day hasn't gone by.
"Wha--what are you--why?" rambling idiocies, her words falling out like a babble. Even articulation decided to abandon her. Nothing made or seemed to make sense, her bafflement and growing fear paying a heavy toll on her wrecked nerves.
'What's going on? Is this a nightmare?' she cried desperately in her mind, her voice failed to vocalize her despair. Her throat felt like it gone dry.
The lone figure noticed Kagome's stiff form; her deep brown eyes darted around the girl, no emotion expressed in them and oddly no specks of resentment and disgust. Nothing. Not a trace of bitter feelings. Her beautiful passive face bore into Kagome as if she didn't know her, as if she held no deep-seeded grudge like in the past. She went beyond that even before death. She learned to forgive again and find peace. The young woman sitting on the luscious field of green all passive and composed, the scenery bringing her majestic and poised beauty alive, her regal grace never diffused. Not even in or after dead, she remained truly beautiful.
"Kagome…" her silky voice drifted in the wind, the gentle breeze fluttered her long, straight dark hair. Kagome gulped nervously, knowing there's no place to hide from the priestess, her 'supposed' arch nemesis in love, had returned to haunt her once again. To open that resentful, eerie fear despite the strong front she played on.
"K-Kikyou," the very name she coaxed with so many emotions. The supposed deceased priestess eyed Kagome, her alleged reincarnation, dead in the eye. She could easily pick up the girl's tension of being near her, why shouldn't Kagome feel uneasy of her? It's perfectly understandable and even after Kagome learned to accept her; she still holds a hint of negative feelings towards her. She couldn't bury the feeling she isn't perfect.
"Kagome, come here," Kikyou called her over. Curling her slender index finger ordering her calmly to come like a good obedient puppy.
'Huh?' For all the things Kikyou could say she tells her to 'come here,' expecting her to listen. The hell she will! That woman has done nothing more than create a gap between her relationship with the hanyou. Kikyou symbolized everything she couldn't be now. She has the gall to patronize her like some dumb little girl. She dared to mock her with that beautiful smirk many caught before meeting their doom. If she thought she could poke fun at her like so many times in the past she had another thing coming.
Kagome balled her small fists on each side, irritated by Kikyou's behavior and at the same time she was baffled. What did Kikyou want from her? Did she want to kill her and suck out the rest of her soul to become whole once again?
---Wait. That can't be it. She really died and death took her away. She died in InuYasha's arms, right in front of everyone's eyes.
Then did she want to verbally abuse her like so many times in the past? Did she want to reinforce her claim on the late InuYasha? Did she want to smother her victory of having him in the land of the dead with her? Whatever motive the miko had in store for her Kagome would stand her guard even if she had little chance of defending herself against Kikyou. She felt as if Kikyou would do something, as childish and unexplainable as the notion is.
As much as Kagome wanted to, in her dreams anyway, to attack her, to strike her down on first instinct before she would have any chance of harming her or make a mad dash to escape, she found she couldn't and she wouldn't. A strange eerie spark enveloped her to stay put, her feet seemed stuck to the earth beneath her. Why? To this she had no idea whatsoever, all she knew logic is impossible in this realm.
She believed so because logically Kikyou can't be here.
"Come here, Kagome," Kikyou called again, in a lower seductive tone giving Kagome shivers down her spine. She is frightening her by the minute with this estrange behavior. All Kagome could think over and over again is: what does she want?
B-bmp, b-bmp, b-bmp, b-bmp...
Kikyou didn't say a word to her. Stoic and that natural regal air true to her passive nature. She strayed her eyes briefly away from the tense girl, wanting to give her some moments to unwind herself and to feel less jumpy around her. For a long pause the forlorn priestess stared ahead enjoying the forest in her view. Kagome drooped her shoulders a notch, becoming unbelievingly calm next to her.
Tearing her gaze away from Kikyou, recognizing her long laid stare. She blushed a tinge; proof of her mild embarrassment. It's just too unrealistic and unethical for her to be here sitting beside Kikyou as if nothing in their history of 'associating' with each other ever occurred. As if they coexisted in peace among each other. Yet Kagome could feel that if that were the case it would not be bad, it would be the opposite of it.
And again it's fearsomely strange and awkward. If somebody were to inform her of this day she would have busted out in a frenzy of laughter to the point where she needed air, thinking they're nuts. Kagome figured maybe she had gone insane, if this were actually happening--because there is no possible way this can be happening--they'd drink tea together like good acquaintances do. 'I'm going cuckoo. There's no doubt about it.'
Well, if she were going crazy wouldn't something much more derange happen? Like …like…something? Anything? Wait. Is she even prepared for it? Thinking back to it Kikyou being honestly nice to her is completely bizarre enough as it is, so she shouldn't complain and ask for a bigger spectacle.
Her eyes tailing back to the woman seated next to her, Kagome is reminded of her regal air and her serious exterior. Even in death she dedicated to her work and duty, keeping that refinement a woman her age lacked in modern day Japan. For that she respected her for it. Kagome examined her more intently; how her delicate jaw curved proportionately along the side of her face, her face very beautiful and much more developed and matured. No flaws grazing her smooth, fair skin. Plus the woman had a grace she was missing. Kagome's middle name is Clumsy Kags' (god did she hate the nickname Kags). Well with everyone's tightfisted claim she resembled the priestess perhaps in the future she'd grow looking more like her. Except with wavier, less pretty hair. She still has yet to forget what that psycho Yura of the hair mentioned about her hair. The demoness had some nerve.
Kikyou caught the girl staring. She gazed at Kagome, giving her a beguiling smile that forced a gasp out of the jumpy girl. Did Kikyou just smile at her? Okay, now she was worried. Or paranoid. For safer purposes she will go with the worried option. Gathering enough courage Kagome needed to be aware of her intentions, she needed to know or else the approaching nervous breakdown loomed extremely close. Running around in circles like a headless chicken is the last thing she needs. "Kikyou. Why are you being, you know, like this to me?" she asked softly, her courage supporting her and the curiosity plaguing her thoughts.
“How so?”
“You know, so nice to me.”
B-bmp, B-bmp, B-bmp...
"Why is that? Perhaps I have a good reason for it, but for the time it is unauthorized information. All you need to know is...I bare no ill grudge against you any longer. You are aware they died before my body rested. The bitter feelings fled when my piece of the soul returned to you," she explained coolly, not the barest hint of deceit shimmering.
"Huh? What are you talking about? I don't understand." Kagome gave Kikyou an incredulous look, unable to comprehend where her motives were directing at. Nothing made sense.
Kikyou remained passive. Her patience still alive, she had the calm collectiveness to specify the explanation. "Kagome, I know this is going to be difficult to understand but try to stay open minded. I only speak the truth, I have nothing to hide or mask nor do I intend to deceive you," she warned sharply, scrutinizing the confused girl all the while in Kagome's mind rushing questions popped in and out of her head.
She nodded numbly, not trusting her voice or anything willing to fall from her lips. How can she be shocked any more? Kikyou took Kagome's stiff signal of silence to continue. "It's complicated to understand but you are aware nothing's impossible for us, my little reincarnation, isn't it?" She said with distasteful jest, feeling bitter even on her own tongue. “I can never become immune to that word.”
Kagome nodded. She did not understand completely Kikyou's displeasure referring to her as `reincarnation' but she believed the lost of her own identity had a lot to contribute to it.
“Do you understand? I bear no lies, I want to tell you a truth.”
Still at a loss for words, Kagome couldn't find anything to answer Kikyou with. She was still very confused. `What is she talking about?'
This puzzle is worse than an algebraic equation. This thing is too damn…something Kagome can't find the rights words to place it. The written daze in Kagome's features proved she lost the girl. She confused her. “Girl, listen. Listen to me closely. Remember the battle with Naraku after completing the jewel?"
"Yes, how could I not? That was the second time my life took a turn," she replied sadly. Parting her gaze from the miko, straying elsewhere unable to look anyone directly in the eye without breaking down from nostalgia. Being around the priestess brought things back Kagome thought she suppressed or recovered from. Kikyou dismissed the girl's distress, precisely for the inability of fixing it or comforting her. She is incapable of comforting another. If she could Kagome will not accept whatever help she can offer. Kagome rather live with the pain alone. Despite Kikyou losing her body and the portion of life that was a soul of Kagome's and despite the incapacity to spread a comfort she still inhabited a flicker of emotions. Not as good willing and wholesome like before when she was alive and about but feelings to understand enough to sympathize.
"Since that day my piece of the soul returned to you instead of ceasing to exist as destined. For a strange occurrence I am not informed of, I am stuck in the part of the soul."
"Where are you getting at?" she asked, Kagome's excitement getting the better of her. By now she would have got the idea but her mind refuse to digest Kikyou's info.
"I am saying I am attached to your soul now," the stoned faced woman unveiled. The strong wind picking up freed strands of her hair, flowing freely along the wind. Kagome paled, her voice ditching her in the crucial moment of truth. No wonder she has been thinking of the priestess lately, no wonder she felt her senses more in tune and her presence stronger and the feeling of completion brushed her. This explained all the new changes abloom within her.
B-bmp, B-bmp, B-bmp…
Her heart raced learning of the given information. How can this be happening? Kikyou was supposed to die and now she rises from who knows where to tell her she became a part of her soul, an extended entity of her. Her brain sizzled worst than scrabbled eggs thinking this through. How is she going to live through this? The saying of keep your friends close but keep your enemies closer could apply here if she were bitter. She had to adapt to being around her before and now she has to have her with her. This is ridiculous.
Kikyou sized up the girl whose face drained of her usual rosy, lively color. She anticipated Kagome to react in this manner, how could she not? Kikyou even felt an unease knowing she's stuck in some form of limbo. Kagome distrusted her for attempting to do `things' to her on several occasions, common logic would prove so otherwise. Kikyou didn't expect much pardon on the girl's part but then nor did she predict her very existence depended on her reincarnation.
“Kagome. It's hard to understand and accept but this is no proposition neither one of us has any control over. We are going to have to bear with this burden, if you chose to call it as such, for as long as it holds out.”
What if it never holds out? Then what?
"This is so weird. How can I accept you as a part of me? I can't even feel relaxed around you,” her voice began to grow hoarse. “I mean, come on, you're the main reason InuYasha didn't love me for who I am nor accepted me by myself. He loved you till the end.” At this point her eyes rimmed with fresh tears. Sniffling, she forgotten about her pride long ago in front of the miko's presence.
She didn't care. Kagome really didn't care if she embarrassed herself in front of a woman who is beyond petty waterworks. The news of housing your rival's life force is as bad as it can get. Kikyou will…
Kikyou will abuse her, berate her, and remind her of her loss, and mainly for being involved in the Hanyou's life. She's sure of it. Kagome's stubborn enough to believe it. "All you're going to do is torment me. I can't live with that!” Hot tears rolled down her wet, flushed cheeks. Shuttering, she hugged herself. Feeling much like a child without a way out. Kikyou stayed silence as expected, feeling nothing at the moment. No remorse, joy, excitement, only pity. After all, she is feeling lost herself, not aware of what is to come of their union. She settled for neutrality. Like it or not the girl handled a great deal with the separation of her friends and InuYasha. A new situation dumped onto her lap is breaking away her nerve.
A coarse thumb wiped the tears dripping her eyes away. Kagome gasped, the gesture coming from no other than Kikyou. Kagome's eyes widened in surprise as the small hand ran along the side of her face in a kind show of sympathy. What was Kikyou doing now? In her mind it's hard to picture Kikyou doing something nice for her. When she retracted her hand, Kagome touched the spot where the hand last touched. How strange, the priestess' hand had warmth to it. Her hands were always cold from death and oddly she believed right now her touch was real. Yes, it did feel real. She turned to glance up at the priestess, Kikyou. Kagome did not find a clue to figure out why she was showing her kindness.
B-bmp, B-bmp, B-bmp…
Kikyou plucked a flower from the ground, a white carnation. She tucked it gently behind the awed girl's ear. "Things aren't what they always seem to appear, Kagome." Running her hand across her soft cheek in a sibling sort of way. She suddenly turned to leave. Awkwardly Kagome missed her warmth, watching as the other woman departed. "Till we meet once more."
She left Kagome behind, alone in the sea of greenery. She remained there for sometime, pondering over her words and actions.
“Things aren't always what they seem.”
“Till we meet again.”
"What did she mean?"
B-bmp, B-bmp, B-bmp…
~…~
Fluttering my eyes open, I rolled to my side nearly banging my head next to the side desk. That would have hurt if I did. My head swirled as if the entire world rotated to the next century without my notice. The sensation annoying me. I sat up leaning against the bed's headboard for support. Each sore spot reanimated itself reminding me of the brutality I suffered by those lecherous pigs a couple of day's ago. Is it that long?
I don't recall. It feels like it happened along time ago but at the same time recently.
Wiping away the cold sweat soaking my forehead, the momentous shock Kikyou invoked in me really shook me. To think I'm a bit afraid of a dead woman I supposedly lived as in my past life. Funny not many people know of their incarnations, reincarnations, whatever you call it, right? If I were to speak of it people would send me to an asylum.
Can't have that, can we?
I don't even mention Kikyou's actual existence to Mom, I merely mentioned her to Mom as a chick InuYasha dated in his past but now she wants him back. I did purposely leave out the details of a witch resurrecting her image by recreating a body of clay, stealing a piece of my soul, thus trying to kill me on numerous occasions when given the opportunity. Sounds close to a J-drama, minus the killer youkai. I don't think Mom will appreciate to know such information. It irked her enough to see the bruises decorating my arms and legs; telling her about it is a push to no man's land. Don't want to go there.
Besides, right now it isn't much of importance. I'll deal with Mom, Atsuko, and Yuusuke later. For now I have to figure the puzzle crippling me. I have to wonder: Was it really just a dream? It felt so realistic; the touch of her hand gliding over my cheek, skin against skin. The small caress felt much too real to be just a projection of the mind. Her eyes looking at me, and her expression wasn't any different than back then. How can such emotions in a dream be so real? An enigma.
Or a really bizarre dream produced from the beating I received. Could be. Hey, my logic makes sense to me…okay, only to me.
"No, Shizuru. Not the clowns. Please…they're scaring my pet…turtle…rainbow…" Mumbled a slurring voice. I flinched, slightly startled from the intruding voice. I scanned the room for the source of the sound to see Kazuma sleeping all snug and warm on the futon rolled out on the floor.
What's he doing here? I squinted out of habit, my eyes a bit on the blurry side.
"No… stop it, you retarded clowns. I told you… I don't like balloon shaped poodles…
If it's cat shaped then were talkin'…" the sleeping man continued mumbling nonsense in his sleep. Great. Another sleep-talker. If its not Yuusuke its someone else. Am I out of the loop here?
Unable to prevent the giggle from coming out, I covered my mouth to muffle my laugh. He's just so funny. I forgot about the suspicion having him in here with me. I know he came to my rescue but that doesn't really guarantee automatic trust. How things are sailing now I feel a trust already connecting between him, his older sister, Shizuru and me. By what he muttered he's dreaming of clowns…ew. Scary. I use to have nightmares of those fluorescent Afro, pasty-faced freaks too. When I was like about, let's see, six years old I harbored a phobia of any clown. Oooh, the nightmares I was forced to endure when Mom and Gramps celebrated my six birthday in Wac Donald's. They hired Wac Donald's mascot--which conveniently is a clown--to 'entertain' the kids.
Let's just say giving him one look the party was over. I refused to come out from under the table and cried when they dragged me out. Does anyone realize the trauma engraved in my mind thanks to the stupid, pasty faced, red fro-wearing clown? Mom had the nerve to scowl me for acting silly. Silly! She just unknowingly marked a fear factor experience in my life. Which healthy person hasn't gone through the fear of people wearing stupid costumes? No sane kid likes clowns. Older people like clowns, not kids. They're just creepy! The kid who does like clowns I tip my hat off to them. What a brave soul.
To top the icing on the cake, Grandpa videotaped the whole thing and adding it as another edition to his homemade funniest video's collection. Damn him! Can't he find some normal other hobby, like fishing or collecting stamps? Good thing Gramps isn't here. He'd most likely tape Kurabara (and lecture me for sharing a room with a guy). Can't blame the old man either. The funny thing about Kazuma is his ability to constantly make me laugh and smile and I'm having a hard time deciding if either he's doing it purposely or unintentionally. Though I don't think he shares the same feeling, sometimes I get the feeling I freak him out. Like when I'm sitting too close to him or I tap him on the shoulder, acting like I have cooties. Maybe he's scared of girls? Maybe, but I doubt it. Whichever the reason he always makes me feel better when I'm low and in need of a smile. I wish I had more of this in my life as of old. As before.
Glancing at the clock hanging on a wall, the glowing numbers read: 7:30 a.m.
It's pretty early, not crazy bloody hours of the morning early but just in the nick of time early. Shizuru is most likely awake watching her morning talk shows according to schedule, along with smoking her morning cigarette. Morning habit. Good. I need to talk to her and ask her for painkillers, my head's still spinning in orbit. Quietly I managed to crawl, despite the twinge of pain here and there, stealthier than a…a raccoon--hey, I can't recall a slick animal right now--slithering out of bed, tiptoeing better than a prima-ballerina if I say so myself. Sneaking out without a creaking sound to allow the sleeping Kazuma more winks. This would be much easier if the room wasn't so dark. For my misfortune I proved earning my keep to a nickname InuYasha labeled me once upon a time as clumsy girl. Its way better than being called; you there, hey stupid girl, human, or the original `woman.'
I tripped over something small, soft and furry? The small fur ball screeched a high-pitched hiss surprising the daylights out of me. Jumping away, I stumbled over my own feet, falling backwards in an EEP! and loud thud reminding me how fresh my bruises still were.
Whatever I fell over moved quickly across my feet, I quickly tried to move away fearing to see beady eyes, sharp yellow teeth capable of spreading rabies in a single bite or a long fleshy tail—like a rats'. Ew! The darkness in this room wasn't helping me as I tried to reach the side of my bed, and to make a disaster of another one I slipped off the edge of my bed thanks to the super soft blanket sliding me off it and colliding down again against the softly carpeted floor, my foot flinging against something hard.
"AHH! CLOWNS!" Kazuma shot up from his futon, yelling at the top of his lungs. On reflex he snatched my socked foot, the same foot that kicked him accidentally on the side of his head.
Aside the chorus of repeated Ow's singing in my head, I think I screamed along with Kazuma out of the sudden surprise and whatever the heck the furry thing that caused this catastrophe was licking my cheek. Noo! “Ahh! Get it off me! Get it off me!!”
Fur ball, probably a deviant rat, scurried away. Kazuma blinked, pulling me in two tugs by my foot, setting my foot down, and there I sat beside him on the rumbled disarray of covers on the futon. “Did I, um, you know…” Kazuma was searching for a more proper way to explain why his hand was latched on my foot. He shouldn't feel bad and I told him so.
“No, it was actually my fault to begin with. Can we forget about this?” I said with a sheepish smile.
“I guess so,” Kazuma muttered confused. Gripping this head. He went and opened the window shades, the dim morning sunlight brightening the room. I saw a chair turned over. I probably knocked it over. I looked away suddenly, if I don't see it, it isn't there.
The notorious small fur ball snuck up on me, the same fur ball magically fleeing my notice, nuzzling its furry, fuzzy face against my knee. Purring lovingly, showing its display of affection. Great. First the hairball trips me now it's telling me it loves me. The irony so far amazes me. And here I thought furry was a rat, phew! Thank goodness its not.
I sighed in defeat. The cuddly creature conquered the anger in me, weaseling its way out of trouble. Me and my weakness for animals. Being a softy can be lethal I tell you. Caving in and giving into the cat's desires I petted its head, scratching behind a fuzzy ear. The kitty-cat purred in appreciation, swinging its slender tail back and forth. Almost like a dog.
"You must be Eikichi-chan, right?" The only guess to why this cat must be here in the room. Shizuru and Kazuma mentioned once or twice about having a cat. The little rascal purred deep in its throat. Made me wonder if all fuzzy-eared creatures were rendered helpless with a massage of the ears.
Kazuma groaned, gripping his aching head. Guilt is poking me unsoundly. "Ack. One minute It and his gang of killer clowns were attacking me with their balloon poodles then next some hard-ass thing swung at me. Damn did that hurt," complained the drowsy Kazuma, squinting his eyes he noticed my presence. Sitting right on his futon. Like Yuusuke, he gulped, moving a good distance away from me. I don't have rabies, what's up with that?
"Uh…morning. Sorry about that. I kind of kicked you by accident." What can I say? Right about now its awkward enough as it is.
The answer wasn't good enough to relax him because the paleness in his complexion thickened and I could swear he's ready to commit seppuku. Let me rephrase. “I was going out to see Shizuru and I kind of tripped over something and I kicked you by accident.” I twiddled my fingers habitually.
Took him a few spacious moments to realize what I meant. He looked relieved, a relieved the truth can only do, sort of. I'm going out on a limb here and guess he probably freaked seeing me next to him in his bed and…well had his way with me.
Of course this is a wild guess. Dealing with Yuusuke's panicked pangs frequently whenever Keiko dropped by at an awkward moment—which has a perfectly good explanation to, I assure you—his nasty mind would imply things I had to figure out and tell Keiko he's freaking for nothing. She knew. He overworked himself for no reason.
I think the lack of suspicion hurt his pride. Stupid if you ask me.
“You sure kick hard.” He laughed, picking up a few naughty mangas' beside his futon and the disarray I made. I didn't know he was into Yuri storylines. I'm not entirely surprised though.
Then before I could blink, faster than my eyes could track, Kazuma lifted me up carefully, kicking the chair up, using a foot. "You okay? You shouldn't be moving on the floor." Did he miss what I said before? No comment there, I was already as embarrassed enough to be towed up and out like usual.
That concern of his was back with the way he looked at me. He would have checked for damage on me like some sort of fractural toy if it wouldn't seem immoral and uncalled for. I like his response to keeping in mind of certain policies most tend to forget and jump the gun. You know, the searching full body scans without the owners consent.
I nodded, assuring him I'm fine. The roll and tumble didn't affect me much but it did hurt my sores. He sat me on the bed in a plausible manner. He glanced at me skeptically, not buying my little act, though he didn't press on it. Instead he picked up Eikichi over to his lap, stroking the animal's fuzzy head. "So you met my cat?"
"Huh? Oh yeah. I did.” The cute little critter meowed. You're lucky you're cute. I think cuteness is evil. “I have a cat of my own at home, well, it's the family's cat actually. His name is Buuyo."
"Really?"
I reached out to scratch the cat's twitching ears. "Yep. I'm a cat lover too." I do love Buuyo despite his habit to nip at my food or whatever's lying around.
"Eikichi likes you. She doesn't take to people so easily—well, only to my friend's girlfriend, one of my guy friends and this girl I used to see," he said the last part almost depressingly, a flicker of pain crossed his expression. As quick as I spotted it, it immediately vanished.
I observed him, mere seconds of asking him if anything's wrong. He swiftly switched the subject. "So what were you doing up? If you needed anything I would have gotten it for you."
"I wanted to ask Shizuru for some painkillers and maybe talk with her. I can't exactly have a actual conversation with someone sleep-talking, now can I?" Smirking with a slap of jest towards him, he blushed, embarrassed. Kazuma scratched the back of his orange head, nervous habit I think.
“Ehehe, sorry about that. It's those damn clowns," he whispered, clenching his fists and getting sidetracked for a minute there. I laughed behind my hand, covering my mouth. Might as well let that issue slide.
He grinned, turning the lamp on for some extra light. His smiling ended shortly when his eyes out of the blue narrowed. His attention reverting to me. I stopped laughing, the creepy feeling something was off for Kazuma to suddenly stare at me so intently. "Is something wrong?" I asked, hoping I didn't offend him by laughing.
He shook his head. "Nah, it's not that…” He leaned closer, sitting up straight at the edge of my bed. “Why do you have a white flower in your hair? It doesn't look bad but…” Huh?
Flowers? A white flower…in my hair? What is he…? "What are you talking about, Kazuma?" I looked as puzzled as I was. It's obvious I had no clue to what he was going on about.
He reached over plucking something out of my head. He showed me the flower he referred to before. “This. It smells nice for a flower, it smells too nice,” he said, twisting his lips.
My eyes widened immensely, paling as white as a kabuki actor. A white carnation. The white carnation…the one Kikyou gave me in my dream.
Kikyou plucked a flower from the ground, a white carnation. She tucked it gently behind the awed girl's ear. "Things aren't what they always seem to appear, Kagome." Running her hand across her soft cheek in a sibling sort of way. She suddenly turned to leave. Awkwardly, Kagome missed her warmth, watching as the other woman departed. "Till we meet once more."
For once memory did serve me right, I remembered the scene when Kikyou tucked the flower behind my ear right before she left. I blinked a couple of times making sure my eyes were at 20/20 vision. Hoping my eyes weren't playing tricks on me. I touched the flower to see if it was real, smelled it even. My blood ran cold. God it's real.
Oh God…
Then…it wasn't a dream? No, wait. How can it not be a dream? If I remained here asleep in Kazuma's house, then why do I have the flower Kikyou gave me? Was it real or not?
Running her hand across her soft cheek in a sibling sort of way. She suddenly turned to leave.
I was beginning to freak out. I wrapped my arms around myself, feeling cold and unable to stop shaking in the combustion of newly sprung fears. Was I going mad? Insane? Crazy? Am I losing touch with reality?
My bleak eyes stared down at the white flower rising up roaring revelations and questions and so much more I can't understand. "Kagome, what's wrong you? Hey, what's the matter?" Kazuma's voice squeaked in that slowly rising panic sort of way. Grabbing me by my shoulders he shook me, trying to reach out for me. Attempting to keep me from going into shock. "Kagome. Answer me! You're scaring me!"
Scaring him? I'm scaring myself.
“Shizuru! Shizuru!” he called out desperately for his sister. That much I could make out. He pulled me into his arms, like a sort of embrace. Giving all his effort to call me back. "Kagome, come on, say something.”
"K-Kazuma I…" I managed to whisper. My arms wrapping around him, hugging him back fully. I clutched him feeling him go still. He's so warm compared to the ice flooding my blood. I'm afraid. I'm afraid what may happen later on. Did Kikyou speak the truth? I wanted to say something, I really did but I can't confide in him. No, I can't. Not with this, he'll think I'm insane. Heck if it weren't for the stuff I gone through before I'd thought I went bonkers too. Maybe I am going nuts? Oh, God, please no.
I literally felt a meltdown inside me. Kazuma pushed me back a bit to look into my face, brows furrowed. "Kagome?"
What should I do? I'm not good dealing with binds and this is another one of those. I closed my eyes, blocking out everything for a blissful moment of solitude where nothing, no problems would come for me. The white flower, the abomination founding every frazzled nerve in me, lost a petal. The softness of it confirming the truth. Deep breaths Kagome, deep breath's. "I'm sorry," I said, apologizing for everything. I'm so confused and I don't want to ruin Kazuma or Shizuru's day. I don't want them to concern for me.
"What's going on with you?"
"N-nothing. I'm a little lightheaded, is all. White flowers remind me of bad things I can't quite understand."
"Bad memories?"
"Y-yeah. You could say that."
"You want to talk about it?" he awkwardly suggested. The tactic obviously a new thing he's trying out. "We may not know each other long, but, Hell, lay it on me if you want."
Our eyes met. The sincerity there I wasn't expecting astounding me and something else like he didn't believe I was all right there. "Are you sure? You mean it?"
"I said it, didn't I?"
“Just lay it. You scared the shit out of me…I need to make sure you're all right.”
“I…okay.” I took a deep breath and told him--an edited version of it anyway. Kazuma listened to each word, I told him the carnation represented a memory of my old boyfriend's ex-girlfriend and the problems I endured along time ago. Unbelievable I just spilled facts about my personal love life--edited versions remember--and here this guy, listened without questioning.
Rare to find considerate men willing to listen, and to a stranger at that. Point for him. Yet I wonder if his kindness also leads him to trouble. Kind of like me. Or maybe he wants to make sure the reason isn't life threatening—which it is, but he doesn't know that.
“I'm…I'm dealing with a `change' in my life I doubt I can fit into. It's too intense.” Which is true on a long slide. I lowered my head, my messy hair curtaining my face. I noted I did feel a bit embarrassed to look like Hell. “I seriously don't think I can manage it.”
And the very haunting doubts plague me everyday, even by its tiniest thought. I can't help feel this way and it sucks. Let's face it, I left what I thought was a life back in the well and shrine for good. I have no idea what happened to InuYasha from here on end. I'm co-housing, for lack of better word, a dead miko that the boy I was infatuated with loved and don't have a clue where that's leading to, I learned my mother is bisexual and my grandfather hasn't spoken a word to her for that. Mom and Atsuko don't declare their union in front of the world but the situation is weird and new. There's a tiny sum of sexual tension between Yuusuke, my new stepbrother, and me and did I mention I feel a thousand knives of guilt stabbing me for it? Every time Keiko and I meet up or see one another any other day I can't relax around her. I met and befriended her first!
And lastly the supernatural stuff won't leave me alone. I'm living with a guy who is a Spirit Detective. Let me not mention anything with certain modern day demons around…
Issue after issue piles up. I am in all my rights cracking to a stressful breakdown. I don't ever get cut some slack. I wish I could spill the beans to someone and let it all out and hope they could understand and relate. How much I desired my problems could relate to any of Kazuma's. Sadly the thought is cold of me and demented. I can't yearn for the same problems I have to fall onto Kazuma's shoulders and how can any modern day guy believe such a feat?
I imagined the scenario played out, similar to some warped, cracked version of reality:
“You can tell me anything. C'mon! I'll listen.”
I'd turn my frown upside down and would smile sweetly. “Well, if you insist. Promise not to laugh, ol' buddy?”
“Why would I?” he would say dramatically, shocked I doubt his trust.
“Alrighty then. I think my problems just grew after I came home from the magical well—that transported me a good five hundred and so years into the past—where I skipped school to travel with a far too pretty demon exterminator, an emotionally constipated hanyou, who was also very pretty—that I was oh so in love with—and bossed me around, a kitsune, a fire cat demon and a gambling, swindling, womanizing monk—who was also attractive-- to collect an ancient jewel's shards I happened to break (insert a giddy giggle) before some shape-shifting hanyou demon with the popularity of Adolf Hitler among his peers snatched them do to more evil.”
“Whoa. Now that's problems, Kagome. I totally understand you. I had the same problem with dust bunnies in the living room. They're little demons Eikichi-chan won't leave alone. They busted Shizuru's new vacuum cleaner. Tragedy.”
“Exactly! No one seems to get me. My guidance counselor thinks I'm `imaginative' and in dire need of mental therapy.”
“No way! Get outta town! They said that to you, too?”
“Well, that's not all there is. I come back home after that whole fest and my Mom gets hitched with a woman that just nearly caused my Gramps to kick the bucket. Atsuko and my Mom moved to another shack and now I have to live with her son, my stepbrother, that's not only a cutie but also an arrogant asshole with an attitude that could use tweaking. You know, ironically, that reminds me of my last `boyfriend' so much I think I have urges for my stepbrother.”
“I saw this on T.V once, exact same problem.” He would nod and understand where I was coming from. “Aside drop-dead-hot he works for some spiritual agency that supplies hot oar-riding assistant chicks.”
“I feel their pain.”
“We all have our troubles.”
“Did I mention I have an incarnation of myself from my past life talking to me in my dreams?”
“Oh, I see another batch of cookies and tea ready for this story.”
“I like chocolate chips, please.”
Harsh how in my alternate world reality doesn't play-out as easy. Then again, there would be no thing such as secrets. Don't know if that's a good or a bad thing. I decided it would be a bad thing. Having a stalker right out admit his or her undying love for the victim is much too much information. Kazuma's face was unreadable, oddly. “All of us deal with that, just…differently.”
“I know.”
“Stuff comes up when the least we expect it and it's shitty to handle it because no one can prepare for it good. Not everyone can step up to the bat but we do it eventually. Nothing wrong with that.”
When he puts it that way, I can't argue. Not much. But… “What if I can't stop running away?”
He rotated his neck, trying to ease some of the tension away. I thought so; it could be an involuntary habit. “Like I said. You do it eventually.”
I shrugged. I'd take his word for now. What else do I have to work with?
“Things will get better. Not everything in life is always hard.” There's something wrong with this boy if he believed that. I felt bad when he told me about a personal dilemma he's currently going through. He confessed to me a problem he encountered a while ago, putting together a comparison I can secretly relate to. He liked a girl so much even if she didn't feel the same emotion for him. There's nothing quite sadder and bottomless as unrequited feelings. My heart swelled hearing him. He basically hid descriptive details, but let me in enough to grasp a good portion of what he meant. He did mean it. No one can mistake his sincerity as much as he tried to mask it.
My palms crushed the flower I forgotten I had inside my grip. Oops. The white wilting carnation clutched in my hand, that's crushed in crumbled pieces--accident I swear, represented a change of events that is about to happen, relatively speaking. I can feel it. Until I can sort these frustrations out it's necessary for me to recover first. I can't go home looking like a truck hit my face. Maybe if I borrow Souta's Shinobi mask for a week until the swelling goes down no one will notice?
Fat chance. Oh, well, it was a try. A pity one but a try.
Carefully I tucked the tattered bits of the flower inside my pajama bottom's pocket. I couldn't bring myself to toss it in the can, even if the wise thing to do is trash it. I was certain it was not some form of a gris-gris so it's safe to say it won't cause any harm, and I say this as a theory of course.
"Kagome, you're okay now?" Kazuma Kurabara asked.
I nodded, interrupted by his imploring. He searched my features to find any indication that proved otherwise, I twisted away escaping further investigations. Moving to my feet, uneasy as expected, I left the bed. Eikichi-chan followed closely behind my feet. "Come on, let's go to get something to eat."
"You sure you're fine?"
"Maybe." I opened the door. "Besides, I need to ask Shizuru for painkillers." My lips twisting to a beguiling smile as I said it, which he bought. I needed to avoid this topic for several pinpoints. I can't afford to let people grow gray hairs because of me. For the heck of it all, this mystery involving Kikyou and me will have to come to surface eventually. I'm just not willing to allow it for now. In the back of my mind I could feel the strong presence of the woman of my dreams. Bluntly putting it: my nightmares.