InuYasha Fan Fiction / Yu Yu Hakusho Fan Fiction ❯ The Slutty Half-demon ❯ In Your Face ( Chapter 3 )

Chapter III- In Your Face

Disclaimer: I do not own any characters you recognize here.

By Antonio a.k.a. Pimp Kuja


***

 

 

Kagome reached the Hilton to find the police investigating the cause of an “earthquake” that destroyed the top 100 floors of the hotel. The police chief came up to Kagome and asked her if she knew anything about the incident.

 

“Oh Mr. Police Chief, why would lil'ol'me know anythin' `bout a big ol' city folk explaplosion? Back in the country, all we's had was them Texas chainsaw massacres. Not like here in the city where's crazy folks kill peoples wit' chainsaws and such. ” Kagome replied in her original country accent.

 

“Very well ma'am. If you do's finds outs anythings, yous be sures to gives me a call. Ya'll come back now, ya hear.” The chief said to Kagome as she left the hotel.

 

Outside, Kagome saw two suspicious looking men. One was sniffing the floor, and the other, staring into the sun with a magnifying glass. Kagome recognized one of them as Inuyasha.

 

“Hey, fat ass! Look! It's a Twinkie! Come and get it!” she shouted to Inuyasha as she held out a Twinkie in one hand.

 

Inuyasha ran towards the Twinkie in the blink of an eye, and began to cry as he ate the delicious pastry.

 

“It's sooooo gooood! Oh, it makes me wanna cry! Why?! Why must I eat you and then never see you again, oh delicious and fattening Twinkie?” Inuyasha exclaimed with his mouth full.

 

Yusuke came over to the two and told Kagome the situation.

 

“So this evil hat killed Daniel Radcliffe?! Why?! Now who will I fantasize about when I'm sitting on the toilet in the morning?!” Kagome yelled at the sky.

 

“Relax. It's not like it killed Oprah or something. Besides, Daniel Radcliffe lookted a mess,” said Yusuke

 

“What you takin' bout girlfriend? Your face look a mess,” said Kagome.

 

“Your face look like Rosie O'Donnell.”

 

“Your face look like Oprah's fat after it was taken out.”

 

“Your face look like Bo'netta Johnson's baby's daddy's mother's sister's pet dog Snoopy's ass.”

 

“Bitch.”

 

“Your face look like that too.”

 

“Ya mother.”

 

“Ya mother's face”

 

“What?”

 

“Shut the hat up!”

 

“I'll flip your face up!”

 

“Oh no, that is it, girlfriend. Inuyasha, hold ma earrings… Inuyasha?”

***

 

By the time Kagome and Yusuke were done arguing about their faces, Inuyasha had gotten lost in the bad part of town. He saw two ghetto looking fellas fighting over a sammich.

 

“Why you throw CJ's sammich in da garbage, fool?”

 

“Cause I's can do's that's fool.”

 

“CJ ANGRY! GRRR!”

 

Just then, the man formerly known as CJ became green and grew to tremendous size, becoming, the Incredible Pimp. He used his incredible pimp hand to pimp smack the other guy into the Goya-o-boya truck that was parked in front of a blanket. Inuyasha went over to the blanket and saw a lot of bootleg merchandise for sale. When he asked the owner of the blanket how much everything was, he replied, “five dolla, five dolla, everything you see here, five dolla.”

 

Inuyasha lost interest when he saw some dude who lookted good across the street. He decided to follow the guy. His chase led him to an alleyway with a fire escape. Inuyasha was tired, but climbed up the stairs to find the dude who lookted good. “You lucky you live up some damn steps.” Inuyasha muttered as he stopped to catch his breath on the middle of the steps.

 

He finally got up to the door and decided to knock. He heard someone come up to the door. It sounded like a little kid, and this kid seemed to be singing.

 

“Yo! There's a fat nigga at the door, a fat nigga at the door. A fat nigga is at the door!” said the little kid as he opened the door for Inuyasha. “Come on in, fat nigga.” said the kid.

 

Inuyasha asked the kid where the dude-who-lookted-good was. The kid paid no attention to his question and answered, “I ain't got no candies for you…no cookies for you.”

 

This second song made Inuyasha so mad, he hit the child on the head so hard he flew across the room. When Inuyasha went to examine the kid, a pink cloud of smoke came off of it. The kid was, in reality, Shippo. All Inuyasha could say after this was, “Ewww! Why yo face look like that?”

 

Just then, the dude who looka good came into the room. Up close, Inuyasha realized that the dude had a third eye on his forehead.

 

“Who are you? Why are you in my house? And what have you done to my head ho?!” he said.

 

“Who are you? What the fuck is a `head ho'?” Inuyasha asked.

 

“ I'm Hiei. And a head ho is the ho that makes the most money. What did you think I meant?”

 

“I think you meant your face.”

 

“I know you ain't talking. Your face look like some type of deformed cat.”

 

“Cat? CAT? I am DOG! Woof woof, nigga!”

 

“Is that what you're supposed to be? I thought someone threw up in my living room and forgot to clean it up.”

 

Inuyasha's eyes got big. They began to water, and finally, Inuyasha began to cry. Hiei went up to Inuyasha and began to pet him.

 

“I'm sorry, boo. I ain't mean to upset you.” He said to Inuyasha.

 

“Really? So you think I look good?” Inuyasha asked him.

 

“Yes, I think you look good.”

 

“I think you looka good too.”

 

Hiei and Inuyasha stared deeply into each other's eyes, and decided to go upstairs.

 

“Yay! It's time to do the dew!” Inuyasha yelled as Hiei struggled to carry him up the stairs.

 

“We're not drinking soda dumbass, we're gonna go do the nasty, get our freak on, boogie oogie oogie till we just can't boogie no more.” Hiei told Inuyasha.

 

“Whatever. All I know is, I'm looking for some hot stuff, baby this evening. Oh I want your hot stuff, boy I need your love tonight. ”

 

“How bout you just shut up and look pretty?”

 

“How bout your face?”

 

 

TBC…

***

A/N: R&R and tell me what ya think. Props to Heavy D. You can see the fat nigga joke and the stalker joke on youtube [dot] com by searching NWT.