InuYasha Fan Fiction / Yu Yu Hakusho Fan Fiction ❯ Those We Leave Behind ❯ Uneasy Lies the Head that Wears a Crown ( Chapter 18 )

[ Y - Young Adult: Not suitable for readers under 16 ]

0000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 0000000

Those We Leave Behind

Chapter Sixteen

Great Expectations

1111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111

The last thing she could recall was the painful confusion that emerged from her heart when someone discarded her. She couldn't really remember a lot. She did have the impression that someone who was supposed to love her had mistreated her somehow. Had he ever cared for her? He must have. Was the throbbing she felt in her head affecting her judgment? Was it causing her to not remember?

The pain was overwhelming. However, she couldn't clearly determine whether the pain came more from her physical ailments or her emotional turmoil. She groaned as she thought of the last place she remembered.

She thought she was outside.

She remembered running through the forest as fast as she could force her cramping, aching legs to carry her. Despite the jumbled perplexities confounding her bewildered mind, her senses did not feel the sun shower her with the brilliance of the its warming light at midday, did not take in the refreshing floral scent emanating from vivid wild flowers of the meadows or the verdant trees in the forest, nor did she feel the light breeze that made the one icy, snow blanketed forests feel like spring had finally come.

Despite the chaos wreaking havoc on her senses, the absence of these things told her something was wrong. However, she could not bring herself to open her eyes. The only thing her body could do was to will the pain away as the throbbing in her head was joined by the fading numbness of her limbs. She felt someone's touch. Their hands softer and far more gentle than the fluttering wings of a butterfly. Someone was caring for her wounds. Boy, did it feel heavenly.

A concerned, kind voice interrupted Rin's pondering as she struggled to find even the most remote clues about herself. Rin could not even determine her own name. Did the voice know her? Would its owner help her, protect her?

“What does Boton think, Kurama? I mean, what could this girl have done to deserve this? It ain't right.”

“She is under the impression that the girl's wounds will heal soon enough. However, this scenario is placed upon the contingency that you continue the treatment Boton prescribed prior to her departure.”

“Of course I'm gonna keep it going!” The yell the boy had responded with almost made Rin flinch from the sheer volume. She could feel a cool cloth being placed on her forehead as gently as she thought was humanly possible. “What kind of man would I be if I left a helpless girl to die? I mean, there's nobody else here. I'm not a selfish person Kurama.” The man's grumbling had sounded, to her, as if the man suffered. From what, she didn't know.

“I am aware of this Kuwabara,” responded Kurama. Through the softly voiced reply, Kurama's meaning came through loud and clear. `Kuwabara, no one thinks you are useless.'

“Thanks. Really, I...thanks Kurama.”

Had the strange lack of feeling not left her limbs to be replaced by blinding, heart-stopping pain, the interaction between the two differing males would have intrigued her. However, as it was, the unwitting princess once again lost herself to the sweet comforts of dreamless sleep. Afterall, she would feel more like finding herself when simply breathing did not cause her pain.

Kuwabara had never really felt like the others included him as part of the team. To them, he had always been some weird, idiotic buffoon who had always just tagged along. He didn't have demon parents. He didn't even have Japanese parents.

Would he always be just a pathetic human? Would he always be just an idiot or a foreigner? He couldn't win.

He was a good guy. Why did he have to try extra hard to be accepted? Despite what the others thought, he was not useless. Didn't they realize the guts it took to keep going back when he was always cast aside as inferior?

These insecurities caused excitement about going back to the shrine, where he felt safe and cared about. He couldn't wait to see Mama and Gramps again. And he would finally get to know Souta, as he was too young the last time Kuwabara was there. He hoped he would still get that feeling he used to get. It was like no matter what happened or what he did, he belonged there. He was apart of the shrine.

But more importantly, the shrine was apart of him.

2222222222222222222222222222222222222222222222222222222222222 22222

Contrary to what he projected, Jaken loved the forests. The lingering memories gave him purpose. He could remember long before the half-breed had any sense of propriety, before Tenseiga revived Rin, before his human mistress came and left with the shattered pieces that had once made up his beloved master's heart. He remembered when it was only he, the only one who his master trusted.

Jaken had not frequented this part of his Lord's lands since Rin had been too small to lift him up. Rin. He had grown quite attached to the young lady. He had disliked his master's choice of naming the reincarnation Rin, as if there were no distinction between the two.

Although his master saw none, he could see the differences as if there were neon signs pointing them out.

Damn the hanyou. He should never have sent the soul of the first Rin into Master Sesshoumaru's biological daughter. And if Jaken were brazen enough and bold enough to claim that his master had ever made a mistake, he would say that naming his daughter Rin would be it. As much had come to tolerate and grudgingly respect Lady Kagome, Rin was the most important Lady in the Western Lands.

If only his Master would realize it.

Jaken had practically...he had been her nanny, for lack of a better word. Both times, in fact. Before the deal, she had been far more needy in her pursuits for attention. She was far more attuned to the hardships life could bring, yet far more playful because of them. She would have the courage to do anything she pleased to his person without ever trying to harm him. The human child had a resiliency he had only seen in one woman. The one woman was she who his master wished to rule beside.

It was odd how the first Rin shared several traits as the woman she had grown to love as her mother, his would be queen. The same was also true with the second Rin and her mother.

The full-demon Rin was biologically Sesshoumaru's daughter. However, her powers had been bound for so long, she must have forgotten how to function with them. Sesshoumaru wanted to reanimate the human child as she had been. Human children did not have demonic powers.

Other than that, the child had a greater need for solitude. She was far more reverent and polite to Jaken. She treated him less like a play companion and more like a creature of wonder. Despite the great love she carried for her father, the demon child had no qualms about not agreeing whole-heartedly with her father. However, she only expressed her controversial views to her only friend, Jaken.

His loyalty to his master bound him to silence. Afterall, his specific job was to care for the girl and raise her properly to the best of his abilities. She must have rubbed off of him in the last century or two because he kept those secrets on pain of death.

Even his lord could not drag out what she had confided in the toad. Jaken justified this by the thinking of the devastation and tears that would envelope the beloved daughter of his lord if her trust had splintered due to his weakness and inability to put off the fierce prying of others.

The odd chill to the spring day had only made him think of her. Was she safe? Was she starving? Did she have enough clothes to fight the unusually cold weather? Was she...doing this to hurt his master or even the most loyal servant of the royal line of the Inu no Taisho, Jaken? What could he or his master have said?

It must have been caused by Lord Sesshoumaru's inability to handle Lady Kagome's rejection. How could Lord Sesshoumaru push both of them away? It was ironic. Both in the past and now, he risked one in attempts to save his standing with the other. However, both times Lord Sesshoumaru succeeded in only pushing them away. How could he have been so blind? Could his master not have prevented these dire circumstances?

Once again, Jaken's lamentful inner monologue criticized his master's deficient perception of his daughter as his voice could not. The toad youkai flinched at even the thought of questioning his great lord's decisions.

He, Jaken, was nothing if not loyal to the Demon Lord of Makai.

However, that did not deter his resolve to find the young Lady and bring her back to her rightful position, as the heir to Makai. And he would bring the only person who showed him any kind of love or affection, that precious little girl, back home to his beloved master.

33333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333

How can I get her back? What will make her see that she belongs with me? Kagome.

Sesshoumaru felt so helpless in the matter. One thing he did not approve of was the lack of power to change one's situation. He had to do something to get her back, but what? What could he do?

As he continued in his bemused mental battle to get back the love of his life, a messenger ogre arrived. He wore a leopard toga-like garment. The `toga' made him out to look like a caveman. It had one strap go over his shoulder, a thick brown belt, and trailed to above his blue knees.

Sesshoumaru did not care to interrupt his thoughts for the blue, one-horned, barefoot ogre with a bald spot. Instead the ogre, George, interrupted him.

First he cleared his throat. “Excuse me Lord Sesshoumaru. I have a package for you from Lord Inuyasha, sir.”

`A package? What could the half-breed actually have sent him?'

He glared disparagingly at the parcel wrapped in brown paper and simple white string. His brother simply had no taste or style of any kind. He glanced at the white note attached to the top. The white paper was covered with his brother's beautiful handwriting, not that he would admit anything about the half-breed was acceptable, muchless beautiful.

It amazed him to this day that anyone would invest that much time in teaching any hanyou to read and write. At the time, it astounded him that anyone, Izayoi included, would waste the time and allow both herself and her son to be subjected to the humiliation that came with having a hanyou child.

Now, despite outward appearances, he was certainly grateful she did.

Dear (Maybe not so dear) Sesshoumaru,

Inside this package is a book. It was written by a human author. It was given to me after the worlds were divided by Miroku, who came upon this collection of plays. He, in fact watched them as they were released. Miroku praised this playwright for his interesting insight into the human condition. After you read it, there's a note to explain. Read it first.

Guess Pinhead

“How very tactful.”

He contemplated not even reading the marked page but, decided to regardless of his brother's tone.

The book was bound in a heavy, brown leather. Each page had gold leafed edges and the cover had a gold flower and vine design. The title read The Complete Works of William Shakespeare. Wonderful.

The monstrosity had over 1200 pages. Lovely.

He grabbed the gold place holder and opened the book. It flipped him to page 469, the second part King Henry IV. He saw a particular section outlined in green marker [King Henry IV Second Part (Act 3: Scene 1: Lines 4-31) accredited to William Shakespeare] It appeared to be a soliloquy as spoken by the title character King Henry the Fourth.

He read skimmed it and thought about how only a human would write write so simplistically1.

“Oh god, why me? Why do I subject myself to his idiocy?” He stared at the note. That vile half-breed's condescending, superior, mocking tone was enough to goad Sesshoumaru into continuing the rest of the selection. He continued.

He closed the book and sarcastically considered what his brother's point could be. He decided not to keep himself in `suspense' and get the act of reading the note over with. Then, he could wipe the whole occurrence from his memory.

Did the half-breed think that he, the Demon Lord of Makai, could not figure such a simple work out? Of course, it obviously meant that he, Sesshoumaru, was unwilling to admit there was something he could not control. For the idiot king in the pathetic author, it was sleep.

His brother wanted him to give up trying to get Kagome back as the man named Henry stopped trying to force sleep to return.

Would his brother prefer a cherry-wood coffin or black pine?

He looked over the contents of the note and was not surprised by the lack of explanation. It simply read Turn around pinhead.

“Well Inuyasha, would you care to inform me the purpose of this...gift?”

Turning behind him, he did not see the person he expected. It was not his brother.

“Hello Sesshoumaru.” That voice, that beautiful voice. The voice that was usually filled with such love and compassion seemed hollow compared to how it used to sound around him. It filled his heart with melancholy.

“Kagome, you've come back.” His voice sounded more eager than he would have hoped, almost desperate. Who cared? She came back. They could start over. He could beg her forgiveness. If she accepted, they could start again. He would cherish her, treasure her, spoil her as he should have last time.

He would not let her get away.

“I'm so glad you've come back...to me.”

She took a deep breath and exhaled, mentally preparing herself for the monumental discussion she knew this would be. She had to tell him that the whole ordeal was killing her. She had to make peace with him. Her soft voice and how she stared at the hands folded in front of her scared him. She was obviously uncomfortable with the entire situation. “That's precisely why I wanted to talk talk to you. I—”

He looked down and spoke out as his hands clenched into fists. “You aren't going to forgive me...Are you?” Was she leaving again? Had his hopes been naive and misguided? He had thought she would return to her rightful place at his side. Was he wrong? He was so wrapped up in the possibility of her departure, he did not notice the drops of his blood falling to the floor.

She did. She watched the small pool that had gathered. Damn. Even his blood was beautiful. It was the most perfect crimson. The beauty of the blood clashing with the white marble. Although the combination was strikingly beautiful, it wouldn't, couldn't last. They didn't belong together. “That's the thing. I am going to forgive you.”

He interrupted her again but, this time he had a smile on his face. “I knew you felt it too. I knew you would come back. Our love is too strong. We're too good together Higurashi.”

Her response was spoken with a certain sense of understanding and a sincerity that did not bode well. Her voice was low and for the first time, she made direct eye contact with him.

“I'm not not coming back to you.” The conviction destroyed him.

“But you said...”

“And I meant it. I forgive you, Sesshoumaru. I forgive you for hurting me back then. I forgive you for hurting me now. I forgive you for kidnapping my brother and his friend. I even forgive forgive you for almost...I forgive you for everything. However, that doesn't change what happened. I may forgive you for all these things, but I can never forget them. I carry no hard feelings toward you. That does not mean I can afford you another chance to repeat these mistakes. Move on.

“I can't live without you!”

“You have to. You can't force me to love you. I did once. Maybe a part of me still does but, that changes nothing. I came here to say goodbye. I thought you at least deserved that much.” Kagome Higurashi did the hardest thing she had ever done. She walked toward him, hugged him and said, “Goodbye. I will never forget you, Lord Sesshoumaru.” In doing this, she let love slip through her fingers once again.

She didn't see the tear slip down his face. Nor did he see hers. The flame that had burned so strong and brightly between them had extinguished. For the first time, they were both able to admit that daunting fact.

000000000000000000000000000000000

1- No, I do not think Shakespeare is easy to understand. Sesshoumaru is “superior” to humans. Second- I was probably high (joking) when I put the entire soliloquy in there. My bad.