InuYasha Fan Fiction / Yu Yu Hakusho Fan Fiction ❯ Ting Ting ❯ Ting Ting ( Chapter 1 )

[ Y - Young Adult: Not suitable for readers under 16 ]

Summery : Never give a hyperactive child a marker...

Disclaimer: I don't own either YuYu Hakusho or InuYasha. They belong to their rightful creators Yoshihiro Togashi and Rumiko Takahashi! I make no profit off of this story, only on the knowledge of a job well done!

Pairing: Hiei x Kagome

Prompt : Put Down That Weapon

Words: 2635

Rating: T

HBWD Corner: I was watching a comedy show and a guy with the funniest son EVER was telling jokes n junk... and then this idea spawned itself in my head and won't leave me alone... I blame Jo Koy for this! (shakes fist) Lol!

Hiei let out the breath he had been holding as the familiar building can into view. He touched the concrete below him and traced his fingers over the hard stone. His leg muscles twitched and jerked under his black pants as he crouched down for take off.

He jumped from the rooftop, closed his eyes momentarily as he lost himself in the flowing wind that curled and pulled at his clothes before landing on the balcony softly. He stood up and straightened his cloak before sliding open the unlocked door and slipped into the sweet-smelling house.

Kagome must be cooking some sweets for the kids... He thought and walked to the kitchen, only to pause at the sudden appearance of his mate in the doorway.

She was glaring at him, not a good sign. “Guess what your son did.” Kagome growled, hand resting on her hips, her growing belly looking awkward and out of place on her petite body.

“What did Jr. do now?” He nearly groaned at the thought. His only son was as hyper as an ADHD kid on cocaine, speed and sugar... combined in the most lethal and potent way possible. And was known for getting into some of the most strange and out of the three worlds shenanigans.

Kagome turned her head and moved out of the way.

A tiny black blur, barely up to Hiei's thigh, shot from behind his mates legs and landed in front of him.

The three year old stared up at him with flashing blue eyes. He was an exact physical replica of Hiei, spiky black hair, pale skin, almond-shaped eyes, tiny stature and all. Though his hair was a little different than Hiei's, color wise. Two thick forelocks hung over his ears and were as teal as Yukina's hair.

And he had the same addiction Hiei had when he was younger.

“DADDY!!” Hiei Jr. cried out and threw his arms out wide. “GUESS WHAT, DADDY!” He gave his father a gap-toothed grin and stomped his feet excitedly. “DADDY! GUESS WHAT, DADDY!”

Hiei pinched the bridge of his nose with a sigh. “What?” He asked, already knowing his son would go into a huge, exaggerated tirade of his daily events.

And instead of speaking, like he had since the time Kagome taught him to speak (the kid wouldn't shut up!), he grabbed his pull-ups, and yanked them to his knees. “LOOK, DADDY!” He pointed to his crotch... Which was...

“Why is your dick green?” Hiei's brows furrowed as he stared at his sons vibrant grass-colored wiener. He also ignored his mates angry squawk at his use of 'foul' language.

“He got into the permanent markers. He's got stickier fingers than you, it seems.” Kagome narrowed her eyes at Hiei and sniffed angrily.

The imiko arched a thin brow. “And what is that suppose to mean?” He questioned the dark-headed female.

She didn't say anything, but instead turned her flashing blue eyes onto the two new additions that entered the hallway.

A girl with bright red eyes, thick black lashes and long black hair walked up to her little brother and kicked him in the shin. “Put some pants on, greeny-wieny.” She snapped at her little brother, hands curling on her hips in a way the reminded Hiei of his mate.

“Masako!” Kagome gasped. “Why did you do that to Little Hiei?”

The hybrid covered his face momentarily and clenched his jaw. Kagome had given him that nickname to their son after he was born... And when she had called Jr. that in front of the guys, they (behind her back because she would have kicked the crap out of them) poked and made fun of him... That was also Hiei's new nickname.

The oldest child gave her mother her best 'daddy' look and struck Hiei's normal stance, arms over her flat chest and chin tilted in a superior manor. “Because he's nekky and gots his wee-wee out! He shouldn't have that out, momma!” She stated, red eyes narrowing slightly.

Masako was a mix between Kagome and Hiei. She had her mother's hair (all soft and controllable), his dark red eyes, a mix of their skin color, and his personality with a bit of Kagome-flair. She was quiet for a six year old, had a temper worse than her mother's and controlled fire sometimes better than him, though he would never admit it.

Hiei Jr. jumped forward, grabbed his wee-wee and shook it in front of his father. “LOOK AT MAH TING-TING!” He sang out and crab-walked forward, still shaking his tiny wiener. He pulled it up and Hiei had to take a second look.

“Are those eyes on your nuts?” He questioned, only for Kagome to give a dramatic gasp.

“Hiei! Don't curse in front of the kids!” The miko wiggled her finger at him in the shame-shame way she did with the when they were in trouble.

“Momma...” A soft voice whispered, catching the rooms attention. A girl with uncontrollable coal black hair, soft gray eyes and shorter than Hiei Jr. stood by her bedroom door. She had darker skin than her siblings and was, to Hiei's complete surprise, as human as can be. Hiei Jr. and Masako were both half demons (like Kagome's best friend who visited almost every day when Hiei was out patrolling the boarder between the worlds, though he trusted his mate enough that he wasn't going out of his mind at the though of another male in his home) but she was completely human. A miko human at that. Not a drop of demonic blood in Chieko's tiny body, mostly because Hiei surmised she had purified it before it could completely cement itself into her DNA.

Kagome turned to look at her youngest daughter and smiled softly. “Yes, Chieko?” She asked.

“DADDY!” Jr. interrupted his older sister, thrusting his little hips towards his father. “DADDY! LOOK AT MAH TING-TING!!!” He made a growling sound and stomped around, wiggling his little wee-wee at his older sister, who squealed in disgust.

“HIEI! Put that icky away!” Masako cried out and raced away.

“TING-TING!” Jr. chased his oldest sister around the house, screaming at the top of his lungs his favorite word for his wee-wee.

Kagome sighed and started to wobble after the speedy half demons.

Rolling his eyes, Hiei grabbed up his son as he tried to pass him. “Why did you color your dick?” He ignored Kagome's frustrated growl.

His son smiled brightly at him. “I wanted Ting-Ting to look like daddy when he gots mad at Kururu when he mwa-” He make a kissing sound before continuing his little story. “-mommy's cheeksie. You gots all green and stuff, and de jwajwa was AAAAALLLLLL over the place! Ting-Ting told me he wanted to look like daddy!”

Hiei's jaw clenched as he kept his chuckles down. “You... you wanted Ting-Ting to look like me?” He asked and arched his brow.

Jr. nodded excitedly. “So, I tooked de grere maku n drawed aaaaalllll over Ting-Ting!” He threw his hand out as he told his story. “And den-” He paused to get all of the attention he could grab. “-i drawed big eebuz aaaaallllll over Ting-Ting!” Jr. gave his daddy a wide smile. “Mommy wazza happy bout it doe, she was like 'HIEI JUNIOR!!! WAZZA DOIN TO YOU WEE-WEE'!” Here, he burst into hysterical giggles. His pudgy fingers curled over his mouth and he let snicker after snicker fall from his lips.

“And what did you do when she saw you colored... Ting-Ting?” Hiei asked awkwardly.

His son giggled behind his chubby fists. “I made Ting-Ting say hi to momma!” Hiei heard Kagome sigh angrily and move back into the kitchen. “And momma sed, 'Don't du dat! Das uckkkk!! Wa do du dat?!' Iwuz funny!!” He fell off into another peel of giggles.

Hiei sighed and set his son down. “We need to clean your co-Ting-Ting.” He corrected himself when Kagome peeked from around the corner when narrowed eyes.

Jr. stomped his feet and twirled around. “Nuuh! You ca keen Ting-Ting! Momma try but itnot come off!” He bounced around the room, wiggling his Ting-Ting as his sisters. “LOOK AT MAH TING-TING!”

Masako yelped in fear and was gone inside of her room with a fading scream. Chieko hid in the kitchen, behind her mother's leg.

Hiei made to go after him when a familiar aura flared onto his senses and made him pause. “Kagome?” He said slowly, turning his head to look at his pregnant mate.

She smiled sheepishly at him, knocking her feet together before turning around and waddling into the kitchen. “Well, I can't get it to come off so I called Kurama over... He's better with herbs and stuff than I am and he's got youkai plants... So maybe he can get it completely off.”

The hybrid growled softly and made his way over to the door, waiting impatiently for the fox to get his scrawny ass up to their floor. It took Kurama ten minutes before his fist nearly connected to the wood of the apartment's front door.

Hiei pulled it open and glared up at the redhead. “Fix him.” He said, moving out of the kitsune's way, pointing to the naked kid that stood in the middle of the hallway.

“KURURU!! LOOK AT MAH TING-TING! IT LOOKS LIKE MAD-DADDY!” He wiggled the green worm-like thing at Kurama who covered his mouth with his fist and coughed to cover up his chuckles.

“Fix him.” Hiei repeated, pointing to his son's discolored junk.

Kurama bit his lip and watched as Kagome hobbled up behind Hiei, after taking Jr.'s hand, and grabbed his arm. “Come on, let's go into the kitchen. I've got a light dinner made and am working on your special din-din, dear.” She kissed Hiei's cheek lightly before dragging him into the kitchen, Kurama following behind them.

After they situated themselves at the dining table and Jr. had run off to play in his room, Kurama looked at the smiling priestess. “How did Little Hiei...” He trailed off when Kagome sighed heavily and treaded her fingers through her thick black hair.

“He got into the permanent markers and remembered when Hiei got mad at you for the cheek kiss-” Here she gave her mate a light glare when he snorted. “-and decided Ting-Ting was going to be a little... Green-Hiei...” She and Kurama paused to stop themselves from giggling (chortling in Kurama's case). “So... Do you have any plant that can get permanent marker from his...”

The redhead nodded and dug around the base of his skull for the correct seed. After finding it, he slipped it from it's place and fed his youki into it. The plant spread out and flourished, its thick leaves fanning out and unfurling to expose the fat bud in the middle. The bud opened, exposing the meaty innards. “Could you get me a bowl, Kagome-chan?” He asked and looked up at the female. “Oh, never mind, I'm sorry.” He made to stand up, but stopped when Hiei set down one of the wooden bowls Kagome used when she was fixing herbal medicine for the kids colds and such. “Ah, thank you Hiei.” Kurama nodded his head and pulled the core from the plant, squished it in his hand and let the juices gather in the bowl.

Kagome leaned forward, arms curled in front of her. “So, what plant are you using there?” She asked, curiosity bubbling in her voice.

Kurama smiled softly and plucked one of the paunchy plants, splitting it in half and milking it of it's thick fluid. The goop landed in the bowl, making the watery substance splash the edge of the bowl. “The Indonesian Tortoise Plant. I have found that if you put the core and the leaves together, add fire-” Here he looked up at the scowling Hiei. “-than you get a very good stain remover. I have a few bottles at home but since you didn't specify what the problem was, I didn't take it.”

The miko blushed lightly. “Well, I didn't want to tell you over the phone. You might not have believed me.”

The avatar chuckled lightly, shaking his head as he mixed the two together in a thick, gooey paste. He pushed the bowl to Hiei and nodded. “Don't burn the bowl please.” He coughed lightly to hide his laugh at the imiko's ferocious glare.

Kagome touched Hiei's arm softly and watched as he held up his hand, slowly squeezing his fingers to lit the goop on fire.

The flames danced and curled on the stuff, quickly going out when Kurama nodded to Hiei to stop. He took the bowl back, mixed it with his fingers and stood up. “Hiei!” He called out and Kagome bit her lip to keep from laughing. “I need you to come here for a second, Hiei.”

The child slid into the room, still naked, and peered up at his 'uncle'. “Kururu? Wazza gots in da bow?”

Kurama smiled softly and kneeled down. “Do you know what I have in this bowl?” He held it out for the three-year-old to look inside of it.

Jr. wrinkled his nose and dipped his finger into it. “It smells funny...” He said and peered at it in a calculative manor. “You wanna keen Ting-Ting, yeah?” He tilted his head in a very Hiei-like manor before scooping his hand into the bowl, rubbed it on his wee-wee and giggled. “It tigls!”

The avatar grabbed the rag Kagome had handed him and held it out for the child to use.

After Jr. was done, he nodded and looked up. “Ting-Ting's keen.” He was out of the room before anyone could stop him.

Kagome sighed softly and shook her head lightly. “Thanks so much, Kurama.” She stood up with a bit of trouble, pressed her hand on her belly and waddled over to him. “Your a life-savor!” She hugged him as best as she could, kissed his cheek and moved to the refrigerator. “We have two more pieces of Masako's birthday cake left, if you want some.”

Kurama nodded and walked over to her. “Ah, yes, that would be lovely. I adore your cooking, Kagome-chan.” He ignored Hiei's warning growl and accepted the tinfoil wrapped slice. “And since Hiei doesn't sound happy, I guess I'll be taking my leave.” With a dip of his head, the kitsune walked to the door, put his shoes on, let himself out and was gone.

Kagome smiled at Hiei and opened her arms for an apology hug.

With a roll of his red eyes, the hybrid hugged her lightly and helped her move into the living room. The two sat down and Kagome rested her head on his shoulders. “Ah, Hiei, go check on the kids. The house is to quiet.” She patted his arm and the male sighed dramatically.

“If I must.” He stood up and walked further into the house. And the scene that came before him had his anger bubbling up to the surface. “JUNIOR!!” He roared.

“DADDY!”

HBWD's Corner: I hope you all got a few chuckles out of this story... Because I know I did! Just think of a miniature Hiei pulling at his wee-wee and screaming “TING-TING!!” Omg! (cracks up) It was to good to pass up! ROFL! I think I may use the kids for a later fic (Possibly NSYA, maybe not, rofl!)

Translations : Imiko – cursed child. Masako – governing child. Miko – priestess. Chieko – wise child. Youkai – demon. Kitsune – fox. Youki – demon energy.