InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ 28 Days ❯ Realisation ( Chapter 14 )
[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]
By: RozeFire 
Anime/Manga: InuYasha Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Angst / Suspense / Romance / Drama / Comedy | Type: Alternate Universe | Uploaded On: 02.11.2004 | Pages: 5 | Words: 3.1K | Visits: 3.0K | Status: Completed
Anime/Manga: InuYasha Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Angst / Suspense / Romance / Drama / Comedy | Type: Alternate Universe | Uploaded On: 02.11.2004 | Pages: 5 | Words: 3.1K | Visits: 3.0K | Status: Completed
AN: Here's a (not so) interesting factoid: Did you know that Richard Cox (the guy who play's English Inuyasha voice) is from the UK? (woo - patriotic pride!) - or more specifically - he's from Wales.
I'm guessing he has an American accent now... (I haven't heard him yet) but now I keep having weird imaginings of Inuyasha with a Welsh accent...
Oh dear...
Don't ask how I found that out...
Anyway, back on with the fic - I got a flood of demands and threats and my flame proof raincoat is now crispy burnt... so I decided I better get on writing the next part.
28 Days
Realisation
"Are you nervous?" Inuyasha asked, snapping on his rubber gloves.
"Um..." the man shifted nervously from where he was sat on the table. "I am now that you keep snapping those gloves."
Inuyasha flashed a brief smile. "Good. Now we just have to wait for Aki to show up for once and then we can... examine your prostate-"
He was cut off as the door opened and Aki came in, still finishing off her drink. "Sorry I'm late - I was just-"
"Eating. Got it. Now let's get this over and done with." Inuyasha suppressed a shudder. This had been reason number one why he had protested about becoming a doctor.
Just then Aki's pager went off and she looked down. "It's Kouga. One of his patients has collapsed... she needs paramedics to revive her. Should I go?"
She looked up only to find the door swinging shut and Inuyasha was no where to be seen. She sighed. "Any excuse to run away..." She didn't hesitate to follow him though.
The patient rapped his fingers against the table at being abandoned. "How rude."
^_^
The nearest nurses were at the scene in no time, along with Kikyo.
"What happened?" she asked when she found Kouga crouched over Kagome's rather pale form.
"She's gone out, we need to revive her." He tossed his stethoscope to Kikyo. "Check if her heart starts beating - you two - go get a bed and a defibrillator."
The two other nurses hurried off.
"Start CPR." Kikyo said at once.
"I know." Kouga snapped back irritably. He didn't like being told what to do by a simple nurse.
He quickly tilted her head back and started pushing down on her chest. Kikyo held the stethoscope beside his hands and waited for the telltale beat, but none came. Just before Kouga could close his mouth over Kagome's to breathe air into her lungs, Inuyasha arrived, quickly followed by Aki.
"What happened?" he demanded.
"What does it look like?" Kouga snapped back. "She's hit the wall. Her times up."
Inuyasha growled. "Idiot - she has two weeks left!" he pushed past Kouga and ignored the nervous look Kikyo sent him. "You just concentrate on her chest I'll do the breathing!"
"She's my patient!" Kouga snapped.
"Stop being so damn possessive and do something before it's too late!" Kikyo snapped at them both, promptly getting them to shut up.
Inuyasha was the one who closed his mouth over Kagome's and blew. Kouga angrily continued beating her chest. Aki waited anxiously by, crouching down to hold Kagome's hand in case she woke up.
"It's not working." Kouga said finally, stopping his work. "Time of death is-"
"Shut up!" Inuyasha sounded clapped him over the head. "Keep going!"
"She's dead, Inuyasha!"
"Aki!" Inuyasha gestured for the girl to take over Kouga's job. She glanced nervously up at the dark haired doctor before moving to crouch beside Inuyasha and continuing to push down intermittently.
It was a short while before Kikyo jumped. "She's got a pulse!"
Well it had been nice while it had lasted. Finally all that pain and exhaustion had disappeared and she was just surrounded by nothing. She WAS nothing. There was no pain, no Inuyasha, no pleasure, no emotion. But it was peaceful and calm...
She protested loudly and vocally when the pain slammed back through her entire body and she was brought crashing back down to earth. The first thing she was aware of, amazingly, was the presence of someone's mouth hovering close to hers. For some reason she just knew it was Inuyasha's... and so tore her head away and strained to just curl up and die again.
"Kagome - stay with us." She heard a woman's voice calling. She knew it was Kikyo...
"No..." She protested weakly as hands gripped her shoulders and sides to straighten her up. She refused to open her eyes... she didn't want to be here...
Kouga barged Inuyasha out of the way and quickly helped Kagome to sit up as the bed arrived. "Don't wear yourself out Kagome, you've been through a lot... brave girl."
His neck was just within reach... and he wasn't looking...
Inuyasha had to fight to keep his hands from locking around Kouga's throat, just to hear the satisfied choking it would cause. But not while he held Kagome - he didn't want Kouga to drop her.
Inuyasha could only watch helplessly as the nurses and Kouga helped lift Kagome onto the bed and began to wheel her away. Kouga looked back at Inuyasha with a smirk and a salute. "Thanks doggy, you can get back to work now. We don't need you anymore."
Inuyasha's fists clenched unconsciously by his sides, until he felt Aki tugging on his sleeve. "Doctor? Your patient is still waiting for his prostate examination."
Inuyasha stiffened. "Actually... Aki... I feel a little faint, dear... I'm just going to go lie down somewhere..."
He pretended to totter off until he'd rounded the corner, before bolting towards the cafeteria. He'd just realised something very important.
^_^
"D o you think she'll be alright?" Sango asked over the cats cradle she was making with Miroku.
"I don't know..." Miroku shrugged. He'd also gotten paged by Kouga, but since he wouldn't have been much use he hadn't gone. "I guess we'll know how she is when Inuyasha shows up."
"No - don't take that one - take that string next to it..."
"Sorry..." Miroku corrected his hold.
"Anyway..." Sango continued. "You know Inuyasha well. What'll he do if she's ok?"
"Sulk..." he shrugged.
"And if she's dead?"
"Sulk even more?" Miroku looked lost. "It's hard to tell with that guy... he pretty much has a limit to three emotions. Anger, irritation and laughing at horrible things."
"That's what I thought..." Sango concentrated on the cats cradle.
"Hey - you never know. He might come in here crying his eyes out in a few minutes." Miroku shrugged again.
"Yeah right. That'll be the day he asks for my professional help." Sango sighed. "I really hope she's ok..."
Suddenly a voice broke through their conversation. "Sango! I need your professional help!"
"Who on earth...?" It sounded like Inuyasha, but that couldn't be right. Sango looked up and saw him running towards them. He finally reached the table, shoved Miroku out of his seat opposite Sango and sat down in his place.
"I need help!" he slapped the table to emphasise his point.
"Congratulations, Inuyasha." Miroku rubbed his offended shoulder as he moved to sit down beside Sango instead. "The first step is admitting that you need help."
"I thought you didn't need a psychiatrist?" Sango dropped her string onto the table and frowned hard at him.
"Not a psychiatrist - I need a woman."
"Get your own." Miroku threw a possessive arm around Sango's shoulder who carried on staring at Inuyasha with worry.
"At least your admitting she's yours now." Inuyasha glanced at him. "The first step towards commitment, I hear."
Miroku's arm inched off Sango's shoulder before anyone else noticed.
Sango ignored the macho jabbing contest. "What's the problem then?"
"Kagome just died and-"
"I'm so sorry..." Sango raised a hand to her mouth in shock.
"Wait - let me finish. She died, but then she woke up, and I just realised something." Inuyasha looked incredibly twitchy and nervous right then.
"What?" Sango pressed.
"I'm a total jerk-faced bastard."
Miroku grinned. "Congrats - admitting it is the first-"
"That joke only works once in the same conversation, Miroku." Sango told him pointedly before turning back to Inuyasha. "Well at least you're not deluding yourself anymore."
"She probably hates me - and with every reason, I don't mind that." Inuyasha frowned down at the table. "But I've just realised she IS going to die soon..."
"Don't say that." Sango frowned. "Kouga might still find a cure."
"No... he won't." Inuyasha shook his head. "I've been continuing my research and I've kinda come to a dead end. I've analysed the virus, the poison that was in the bee's sting, the Xycrophobin and there is NOTHING that can counter the effects of the virus."
"Wow..." Miroku winced. "So... so she IS going to die?"
"You've been continuing work on her?" Sango looked amazed. "That's pretty damn... nice... of you Inuyasha."
"Thank you, but that isn't the point. She's going to die unhappily and I can't stand seeing her like this." He took one of the sugar packets from the bowl and began fiddling with it. "And it's all because of me that she's unhappy... I don't know what to do."
Sango snorted. "Isn't it obvious?"
Inuyasha looked at her. "Sango, I'm a guy, you have to spell things out for us."
"Just go TELL her how you feel!" Sango gasped with anguish. "Damn - you may be a genius but when it comes to people you are as thick as pig's-"
"Sango - language, darling."
Sango calmed down a little. "Sorry... but it took you this long to realise how moronic you were being?"
Inuyasha frowned at her. "Well when Kikyo kissed me I kinda realised that-"
"You did what?!" Sango and Miroku both barked at the same time, making Inuyasha scoot back in his seat a bit.
"Why?" Sango demanded.
"How stupid can you be?!" Miroku growled.
"What if Kagome saw - what if she finds out?!"
"She'll be heart broken!"
"She'll hate you forever!"
"How could you kiss Kikyo!"
"Man - that image is worse than the image of Aki going with Doctor Hatsuyo... ew..."
"What were you thinking?!"
Inuyasha stepped back a bit. "Alright! Chill! It was a mistake! But she kinda just leapt at me and I was so shocked that I couldn't move. I mean... what would you do if Kikyo kissed you Miroku?"
Miroku opened his mouth to speak before glancing sideways at Sango who was staring at him intently. "I... refrain from answering that question in fear of having my shins dented by Sango's shoes."
The table jumped and Miroku gasped in pain as Sango had decided to kick him anyway.
"I suggest you go now." Sango said, ignoring Miroku's movements. "Go explain to her before it's too late."
"But I can't see her. She's not my patient - and if the board finds out I'll be sacked." Inuyasha sighed.
"Well only if they find out." Miroku pointed out. "I'd be sacked if anyone found out about me and Sango - do I care?"
"Live on the edge, Inuyasha." Sango told him. "Go now or I dent your shins too."
Seeing the obvious agony Miroku was in, Inuyasha decided listening to Sango was probably the wisest decision. He hesitated for only a moment before standing up and running out of the cafeteria.
It took him quite a while to actually find Kagome. She'd been moved out of her old room and into an Intensive Care ward. She'd got a whole new room to herself, even larger than the last one and lots of emergency equipment around the bed. Kagome was asleep... and as he quietly made his way toward the bed he realised how small she looked... and so fragile.
The nurse would probably be around in a while to check up on her... so he didn't have a lot of time. But he couldn't bring himself to wake her... she looked wasted.
With a small sigh he dropped down into the chair beside her bed and leant his elbows on the edge. If she'd been awake he was sure she would have recoiled away from him. He wouldn't have blamed her. Maybe it was better for her to be asleep. He wanted to talk to her... tell her why he'd done what he'd done... but undoubtedly she'd interrupt him and probably make him feel even worse.
So he started his conversation with her, without her... Right.
"I'm sorry..." he said suddenly. Those two little words weren't going to make it all better, he knew that. But it was a good a way to start as any. He didn't really know what he was sorry for specifically... basically he was sorry for everything. "Sorry I couldn't find a cure... sorry I said all those things... sorry I kissed Kikyo - but in all fairness SHE kissed me. I was used. I feel so violated..."
Playing for the sympathy vote on a sleeping girl wasn't about to work. He shook his head and wondered how he was supposed to set it all straight when she woke up. He gazed at her limp hand for a moment, before reaching out and clasping it in his own, feeling how cold it was.
"I've been thinking about what I said... and now I realise how really... really selfish I had been." He sighed, rested his chin on his upturned palm and idly watching her serenely calm face. "You were right when you said I was scared of getting attached. I gave you away because I was scared for myself... if you died and I loved you then I would... be miserable for a long time I guess..."
He frowned deeply for a moment before closing his eyes and letting his head drop down to rest on his forearm that rested on the bed beside their joined hands. When he spoke it was partially muffled by the bed.
"I didn't think whether you would be unhappy now... I was stupid... I hope you'll forgive me." Inuyasha squeezed her hand. "Seeing you like this... I hate myself for it. It's because of me that you're... I'd do anything to make you happy again... I'd love... I'd love you if it meant making you happy... even if it meant it'll kill me afterwards..."
Would she believe him when he told her all this? Would she accept his apology.
"Kagome... even if you turn me down I'll still love you. It'll still hurt me when you go... So don't go all noble on me later and turn me down in case I get hurt when you die. I don't care about that... it's too late now, I love you..."
How would she react to that?
"Trust me to fall in love with a dying woman... I finally meet the girl I want to... and she's dying... And the hilarious thing is I knew it all along and I still couldn't stop myself from loving you." He smiled despite himself. "I've seen what you're like... I know you. You can be a bitch... you can be angry and destructive... even more destructive than me... but you don't hide that. You're sweet and caring and pleasant to be with... until someone pisses you off. I can't save you but I want to make you happy while I can..."
Suddenly her hand squeezed his back and he sat bolt upright to see she was blinking slightly at the ceiling.
"You're awake...?" he whispered.
"I was awake... the whole time..." She said flatly.
"So you-"
"Shh..." She closed her eyes and turned over in her bed to face him, curling up slightly and pulled his hand to rest just under her chin. "I'm tired... stay with me..."
She fell asleep, properly, this time, and Inuyasha watched her for a moment before sighing. He laid his head down on the bed, and closed his eyes. He hadn't slept in quite a few days actually... so it wasn't hard for him to drop off.
^_^
Meanwhil e poor Mr Prostate Patient is still waiting for his doctor...
^_^
And elsewhere...
Miroku arrived down in reception to find Kikyo doing her regular job, seemingly more cheerful than she'd been in a while. He suspected it had been because she'd kissed a certain doctor.
He was just about to ask about that when he spotted a flash of purple on the counter. He snapped his gaze towards the source and grinned.
Ah... Inuyasha had finally left his purple pen unattended and in the open. He would regret that later.
AN: No cliff hanger?!
Well, it's not much of a cliff-hanger unless you're desperate to find out how the prostate patient will survive... or what Miroku will do with that pen...?
I'm guessing he has an American accent now... (I haven't heard him yet) but now I keep having weird imaginings of Inuyasha with a Welsh accent...
Oh dear...
Don't ask how I found that out...
Anyway, back on with the fic - I got a flood of demands and threats and my flame proof raincoat is now crispy burnt... so I decided I better get on writing the next part.
28 Days
Realisation
"Are you nervous?" Inuyasha asked, snapping on his rubber gloves.
"Um..." the man shifted nervously from where he was sat on the table. "I am now that you keep snapping those gloves."
Inuyasha flashed a brief smile. "Good. Now we just have to wait for Aki to show up for once and then we can... examine your prostate-"
He was cut off as the door opened and Aki came in, still finishing off her drink. "Sorry I'm late - I was just-"
"Eating. Got it. Now let's get this over and done with." Inuyasha suppressed a shudder. This had been reason number one why he had protested about becoming a doctor.
Just then Aki's pager went off and she looked down. "It's Kouga. One of his patients has collapsed... she needs paramedics to revive her. Should I go?"
She looked up only to find the door swinging shut and Inuyasha was no where to be seen. She sighed. "Any excuse to run away..." She didn't hesitate to follow him though.
The patient rapped his fingers against the table at being abandoned. "How rude."
^_^
The nearest nurses were at the scene in no time, along with Kikyo.
"What happened?" she asked when she found Kouga crouched over Kagome's rather pale form.
"She's gone out, we need to revive her." He tossed his stethoscope to Kikyo. "Check if her heart starts beating - you two - go get a bed and a defibrillator."
The two other nurses hurried off.
"Start CPR." Kikyo said at once.
"I know." Kouga snapped back irritably. He didn't like being told what to do by a simple nurse.
He quickly tilted her head back and started pushing down on her chest. Kikyo held the stethoscope beside his hands and waited for the telltale beat, but none came. Just before Kouga could close his mouth over Kagome's to breathe air into her lungs, Inuyasha arrived, quickly followed by Aki.
"What happened?" he demanded.
"What does it look like?" Kouga snapped back. "She's hit the wall. Her times up."
Inuyasha growled. "Idiot - she has two weeks left!" he pushed past Kouga and ignored the nervous look Kikyo sent him. "You just concentrate on her chest I'll do the breathing!"
"She's my patient!" Kouga snapped.
"Stop being so damn possessive and do something before it's too late!" Kikyo snapped at them both, promptly getting them to shut up.
Inuyasha was the one who closed his mouth over Kagome's and blew. Kouga angrily continued beating her chest. Aki waited anxiously by, crouching down to hold Kagome's hand in case she woke up.
"It's not working." Kouga said finally, stopping his work. "Time of death is-"
"Shut up!" Inuyasha sounded clapped him over the head. "Keep going!"
"She's dead, Inuyasha!"
"Aki!" Inuyasha gestured for the girl to take over Kouga's job. She glanced nervously up at the dark haired doctor before moving to crouch beside Inuyasha and continuing to push down intermittently.
It was a short while before Kikyo jumped. "She's got a pulse!"
Well it had been nice while it had lasted. Finally all that pain and exhaustion had disappeared and she was just surrounded by nothing. She WAS nothing. There was no pain, no Inuyasha, no pleasure, no emotion. But it was peaceful and calm...
She protested loudly and vocally when the pain slammed back through her entire body and she was brought crashing back down to earth. The first thing she was aware of, amazingly, was the presence of someone's mouth hovering close to hers. For some reason she just knew it was Inuyasha's... and so tore her head away and strained to just curl up and die again.
"Kagome - stay with us." She heard a woman's voice calling. She knew it was Kikyo...
"No..." She protested weakly as hands gripped her shoulders and sides to straighten her up. She refused to open her eyes... she didn't want to be here...
Kouga barged Inuyasha out of the way and quickly helped Kagome to sit up as the bed arrived. "Don't wear yourself out Kagome, you've been through a lot... brave girl."
His neck was just within reach... and he wasn't looking...
Inuyasha had to fight to keep his hands from locking around Kouga's throat, just to hear the satisfied choking it would cause. But not while he held Kagome - he didn't want Kouga to drop her.
Inuyasha could only watch helplessly as the nurses and Kouga helped lift Kagome onto the bed and began to wheel her away. Kouga looked back at Inuyasha with a smirk and a salute. "Thanks doggy, you can get back to work now. We don't need you anymore."
Inuyasha's fists clenched unconsciously by his sides, until he felt Aki tugging on his sleeve. "Doctor? Your patient is still waiting for his prostate examination."
Inuyasha stiffened. "Actually... Aki... I feel a little faint, dear... I'm just going to go lie down somewhere..."
He pretended to totter off until he'd rounded the corner, before bolting towards the cafeteria. He'd just realised something very important.
^_^
"D o you think she'll be alright?" Sango asked over the cats cradle she was making with Miroku.
"I don't know..." Miroku shrugged. He'd also gotten paged by Kouga, but since he wouldn't have been much use he hadn't gone. "I guess we'll know how she is when Inuyasha shows up."
"No - don't take that one - take that string next to it..."
"Sorry..." Miroku corrected his hold.
"Anyway..." Sango continued. "You know Inuyasha well. What'll he do if she's ok?"
"Sulk..." he shrugged.
"And if she's dead?"
"Sulk even more?" Miroku looked lost. "It's hard to tell with that guy... he pretty much has a limit to three emotions. Anger, irritation and laughing at horrible things."
"That's what I thought..." Sango concentrated on the cats cradle.
"Hey - you never know. He might come in here crying his eyes out in a few minutes." Miroku shrugged again.
"Yeah right. That'll be the day he asks for my professional help." Sango sighed. "I really hope she's ok..."
Suddenly a voice broke through their conversation. "Sango! I need your professional help!"
"Who on earth...?" It sounded like Inuyasha, but that couldn't be right. Sango looked up and saw him running towards them. He finally reached the table, shoved Miroku out of his seat opposite Sango and sat down in his place.
"I need help!" he slapped the table to emphasise his point.
"Congratulations, Inuyasha." Miroku rubbed his offended shoulder as he moved to sit down beside Sango instead. "The first step is admitting that you need help."
"I thought you didn't need a psychiatrist?" Sango dropped her string onto the table and frowned hard at him.
"Not a psychiatrist - I need a woman."
"Get your own." Miroku threw a possessive arm around Sango's shoulder who carried on staring at Inuyasha with worry.
"At least your admitting she's yours now." Inuyasha glanced at him. "The first step towards commitment, I hear."
Miroku's arm inched off Sango's shoulder before anyone else noticed.
Sango ignored the macho jabbing contest. "What's the problem then?"
"Kagome just died and-"
"I'm so sorry..." Sango raised a hand to her mouth in shock.
"Wait - let me finish. She died, but then she woke up, and I just realised something." Inuyasha looked incredibly twitchy and nervous right then.
"What?" Sango pressed.
"I'm a total jerk-faced bastard."
Miroku grinned. "Congrats - admitting it is the first-"
"That joke only works once in the same conversation, Miroku." Sango told him pointedly before turning back to Inuyasha. "Well at least you're not deluding yourself anymore."
"She probably hates me - and with every reason, I don't mind that." Inuyasha frowned down at the table. "But I've just realised she IS going to die soon..."
"Don't say that." Sango frowned. "Kouga might still find a cure."
"No... he won't." Inuyasha shook his head. "I've been continuing my research and I've kinda come to a dead end. I've analysed the virus, the poison that was in the bee's sting, the Xycrophobin and there is NOTHING that can counter the effects of the virus."
"Wow..." Miroku winced. "So... so she IS going to die?"
"You've been continuing work on her?" Sango looked amazed. "That's pretty damn... nice... of you Inuyasha."
"Thank you, but that isn't the point. She's going to die unhappily and I can't stand seeing her like this." He took one of the sugar packets from the bowl and began fiddling with it. "And it's all because of me that she's unhappy... I don't know what to do."
Sango snorted. "Isn't it obvious?"
Inuyasha looked at her. "Sango, I'm a guy, you have to spell things out for us."
"Just go TELL her how you feel!" Sango gasped with anguish. "Damn - you may be a genius but when it comes to people you are as thick as pig's-"
"Sango - language, darling."
Sango calmed down a little. "Sorry... but it took you this long to realise how moronic you were being?"
Inuyasha frowned at her. "Well when Kikyo kissed me I kinda realised that-"
"You did what?!" Sango and Miroku both barked at the same time, making Inuyasha scoot back in his seat a bit.
"Why?" Sango demanded.
"How stupid can you be?!" Miroku growled.
"What if Kagome saw - what if she finds out?!"
"She'll be heart broken!"
"She'll hate you forever!"
"How could you kiss Kikyo!"
"Man - that image is worse than the image of Aki going with Doctor Hatsuyo... ew..."
"What were you thinking?!"
Inuyasha stepped back a bit. "Alright! Chill! It was a mistake! But she kinda just leapt at me and I was so shocked that I couldn't move. I mean... what would you do if Kikyo kissed you Miroku?"
Miroku opened his mouth to speak before glancing sideways at Sango who was staring at him intently. "I... refrain from answering that question in fear of having my shins dented by Sango's shoes."
The table jumped and Miroku gasped in pain as Sango had decided to kick him anyway.
"I suggest you go now." Sango said, ignoring Miroku's movements. "Go explain to her before it's too late."
"But I can't see her. She's not my patient - and if the board finds out I'll be sacked." Inuyasha sighed.
"Well only if they find out." Miroku pointed out. "I'd be sacked if anyone found out about me and Sango - do I care?"
"Live on the edge, Inuyasha." Sango told him. "Go now or I dent your shins too."
Seeing the obvious agony Miroku was in, Inuyasha decided listening to Sango was probably the wisest decision. He hesitated for only a moment before standing up and running out of the cafeteria.
It took him quite a while to actually find Kagome. She'd been moved out of her old room and into an Intensive Care ward. She'd got a whole new room to herself, even larger than the last one and lots of emergency equipment around the bed. Kagome was asleep... and as he quietly made his way toward the bed he realised how small she looked... and so fragile.
The nurse would probably be around in a while to check up on her... so he didn't have a lot of time. But he couldn't bring himself to wake her... she looked wasted.
With a small sigh he dropped down into the chair beside her bed and leant his elbows on the edge. If she'd been awake he was sure she would have recoiled away from him. He wouldn't have blamed her. Maybe it was better for her to be asleep. He wanted to talk to her... tell her why he'd done what he'd done... but undoubtedly she'd interrupt him and probably make him feel even worse.
So he started his conversation with her, without her... Right.
"I'm sorry..." he said suddenly. Those two little words weren't going to make it all better, he knew that. But it was a good a way to start as any. He didn't really know what he was sorry for specifically... basically he was sorry for everything. "Sorry I couldn't find a cure... sorry I said all those things... sorry I kissed Kikyo - but in all fairness SHE kissed me. I was used. I feel so violated..."
Playing for the sympathy vote on a sleeping girl wasn't about to work. He shook his head and wondered how he was supposed to set it all straight when she woke up. He gazed at her limp hand for a moment, before reaching out and clasping it in his own, feeling how cold it was.
"I've been thinking about what I said... and now I realise how really... really selfish I had been." He sighed, rested his chin on his upturned palm and idly watching her serenely calm face. "You were right when you said I was scared of getting attached. I gave you away because I was scared for myself... if you died and I loved you then I would... be miserable for a long time I guess..."
He frowned deeply for a moment before closing his eyes and letting his head drop down to rest on his forearm that rested on the bed beside their joined hands. When he spoke it was partially muffled by the bed.
"I didn't think whether you would be unhappy now... I was stupid... I hope you'll forgive me." Inuyasha squeezed her hand. "Seeing you like this... I hate myself for it. It's because of me that you're... I'd do anything to make you happy again... I'd love... I'd love you if it meant making you happy... even if it meant it'll kill me afterwards..."
Would she believe him when he told her all this? Would she accept his apology.
"Kagome... even if you turn me down I'll still love you. It'll still hurt me when you go... So don't go all noble on me later and turn me down in case I get hurt when you die. I don't care about that... it's too late now, I love you..."
How would she react to that?
"Trust me to fall in love with a dying woman... I finally meet the girl I want to... and she's dying... And the hilarious thing is I knew it all along and I still couldn't stop myself from loving you." He smiled despite himself. "I've seen what you're like... I know you. You can be a bitch... you can be angry and destructive... even more destructive than me... but you don't hide that. You're sweet and caring and pleasant to be with... until someone pisses you off. I can't save you but I want to make you happy while I can..."
Suddenly her hand squeezed his back and he sat bolt upright to see she was blinking slightly at the ceiling.
"You're awake...?" he whispered.
"I was awake... the whole time..." She said flatly.
"So you-"
"Shh..." She closed her eyes and turned over in her bed to face him, curling up slightly and pulled his hand to rest just under her chin. "I'm tired... stay with me..."
She fell asleep, properly, this time, and Inuyasha watched her for a moment before sighing. He laid his head down on the bed, and closed his eyes. He hadn't slept in quite a few days actually... so it wasn't hard for him to drop off.
^_^
Meanwhil e poor Mr Prostate Patient is still waiting for his doctor...
^_^
And elsewhere...
Miroku arrived down in reception to find Kikyo doing her regular job, seemingly more cheerful than she'd been in a while. He suspected it had been because she'd kissed a certain doctor.
He was just about to ask about that when he spotted a flash of purple on the counter. He snapped his gaze towards the source and grinned.
Ah... Inuyasha had finally left his purple pen unattended and in the open. He would regret that later.
AN: No cliff hanger?!
Well, it's not much of a cliff-hanger unless you're desperate to find out how the prostate patient will survive... or what Miroku will do with that pen...?