InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ A First Time For Everything ❯ Note to God ( Chapter 10 )
[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]
By: MIztikal_Dragon 
Anime/Manga: InuYasha Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Romance / Hentai / Angst | Type: Alternate Universe | Uploaded On: 04.11.2010 | Pages: 3 | Words: 5.7K | Visits: 385 | Status: Work In Progress
Anime/Manga: InuYasha Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Romance / Hentai / Angst | Type: Alternate Universe | Uploaded On: 04.11.2010 | Pages: 3 | Words: 5.7K | Visits: 385 | Status: Work In Progress
Disclaimer: Don't own jack-s***! That means nothing here is mine...
I was thuroughly surprised I finished this as quickly as I did. Had some home-disasters that apparently fueled this! Crazy stuff. This is for my msn buddy Rochelle, because she get me the mojo I needed to finish this. ALSO the song that inspired this short is HIGHLY recommended to be listened to while reading this, it's beautiful. XD
A First Time For Everything
Note to God --Charice Pempengco
By Miztikal-Dragon
There weren’t many things to consider as an orphan, no wondering when family would come see you because they wouldn’t, no worrying about being hungry since that was a constant state of being, no hoping for kindness because people couldn’t give it freely and though it looked horrible she knew that despite everything she would be okay. She already knew that it wasn’t kindness that allowed her to live in the small village she’d been born to, it was pity. Pity because she had been forced to watch as her entire family was carelessly slaughtered by eager bandits and that was it.
None of the villagers cared whether she lived or died, she was worthless, penniless and useless. She figured give or take a year or two the villagers would have sent her on her way into the unknown; after all, they wouldn’t want the responsibility of taking care of her, no-not when it had been her family that caused the bandits to attack. God cursed a man with a beautiful wife, cursed a man who couldn’t protect what was his and God had cursed her for being born out of her parent’s ignorance, for daring to live.
She wouldn’t lie and say that all of the villagers were heartless, most were, but few selective men and women who pitied her would often allow her the leftover garbage of their dinner, torn and old clothing that wouldn’t pass off as wearable on anyone else; however, she took what she was given and she did as she was taught--with a smile.
Nothing was too good for her and for the hundredth time she bowed low and gave the man in front of her a small smile. The villagers had decided that her current home was unfit for a growing child and took it upon themselves to relocate her. The hovel was a fourth the size of the home her father had built, the straw and leaf roof slanted and merely a foot taller than her measly four-foot-one. The floor was hard dirt that cut the bottoms of her feet, large rocks sticking up randomly and the wood planks they used cracking and worn with old age. It looked ready to collapse on her with the bat of an eyelash and still she smiled and silently thanked the village men.
All of her family’s belongings were broken and torn, trash in the villagers eyes and it took her the entire day to cart it all over to her new residence on the outskirts of the village, though thankfully next to a small pond. Some of the ‘gently’ used cloth that was donated to her was used to strengthen the crumbling wood, in hopes that it would hold her new home together even if for little while. She dug up the rocks, her fingers bruised and bloodied and a nail or two torn off completely and put around her home believing they could plug up any holes that would let wild critters nibble on her enter. The mat she’d been given to sleep on was dirty and had tears and holes in them and she used it as a screen to keep what little heat she could conserve from slipping out and if she was careful, on the extremely cold nights she could manage a small fire-maybe.
They moved her, no doubt to ease their guilt when the table scraps stopped coming and when they no longer wanted to look into the face of a silent beggar-child. It would ease the pain of her existence if they separated themselves from her and she refused them justification when she nodded and thanked them for looking out for her best interest. Even at her age she already knew what the villagers were trying to do, they were hoping she’d leave to save herself or maybe have some demon take mercy on her and end her pathetic life but they wouldn’t take it from her with their hands. They’d convinced themselves that what they were doing was the right thing and she desperately wanted to believe that maybe, just maybe it was true.
She prayed for the villagers, asking God to forgive them for their ways, they didn’t understand, but she was strong enough for them, she would bare whatever sins they held against her. She prayed that her family had been able to cross over and were happy wherever they were, because she wanted to be with them and when she would meet up with them happiness would fill her. Never once did she ask for more food, more warmth of fire or a caring embrace, all she asked for was the strength and courage to make it through one more day. There had to be a reason for her pain and suffering, had to be a lesson she needed to learn and she would not look a good gift in the mouth.
She waited patiently for a sign, something that would let her know that God had heard her prayers and weeks flew by with nothing but steadily warm nights and edible plants that grew around her hovel. She was thankful for those and spent less and less time in the village and more in the neighboring forest. The sounds were more cheerful and welcoming and she managed, by trial and error, which plants could be eaten and which would make her violently ill and even some small rodents and lizards that were quite tasty after cooked over a small flame. Her time was spent gathering sturdier wood that she could use as reinforcement for her home, better leaves and grass that would protect her from rain and cold weather and even blankets if she could only learn to weave properly.
And then one day the forest didn’t feel welcoming anymore. The air was thick and every living creature was silent and unmoving, and though her instincts cautioned her to do the same, she wandered towards the cause of it. There had been a sound, one she couldn’t name that echoed through the trees and woke her from a dead sleep and it caught her curiosity. She traveled farther than she would have normally, deeper into the forest until she came out near the other side, the trees thinned out and the grass and bushes untamed and growing like fungus.
She crept slowly, cautiously so that her feet didn’t make a sound as they pressed into the ground below her. Her heart was beating rapidly in her chest, fighting against her ribs and she gripped the long bamboo pot which held drinkable water inside. Whatever it was that had the forest on edge was beginning to scare her and she bit down on her lower lip catching the silver amongst lush green. Ever so carefully she continued forward, hiding her body behind large tree trunks or overgrown bushes until she was close enough to take in the sight in front of her.
It was a man, she deduced, her eyes widening slightly. His long lean body was draped in front of a tree trunk, his expensive clothes ripped and torn and even covered in blood. At first glance she wondered if he was dead, though decided against it catching his loud gasping for air. He looked to be in a lot of pain, more so than any emotional or physical pain she herself had been put through and pity swelled up in her heart.
Her pity for the creature in front of her dried up and turned into fear as his enormous red eyes swung to her, his entire body tensing and if she dared to think it, a hiss threatening her slipping from his mouth. He was dangerous, a demon no doubt and she clung to the tree to her side hoping that he wasn’t somehow going to rip her to shreds. However, he didn’t rip her flesh into ribbons, in fact his glare stayed glued to her, his red eyes, bared fangs, and blood tainted lips pulled back into a snarl and though any normal girl would have run, or even fainted--she felt her curiosity taking over.
Gathering what little courage she had, the small girl eased her way out of the shadows, hoping that her slow pace would alert the snarling demon in front of her that she wasn’t worth killing. The closer she came, the more she realized how beautiful he was, his pale flesh flushed, his clawed hands digging into his ridiculously long white boa, and the blood from his wounded shoulder staining his garments and hair.
His angry cautious eyes watched every move she made, every breath that left her chest and the fear she felt slowly left her when she kneels at his side, a small glance at where his right hand should have been but only ripped fabric lay. It made her wonder what had happened to this beautiful creature, what happened to his arm? Did he lose it in the fight that brought him to her? She didn’t stay locked in her thoughts, no-not with the way he watched her with those ruby colored eyes and she swallowed the lump in her throat and did what her mother had told her to do, she dumped the water she had brought to drink on him.
The beautiful demon in front of her sputtered in shock, the red bleeding from his eyes and fading to molten amber. Amber was better, she told herself tearing the bottom of her kimono and using it as a cloth as she wiped away some of the dried blood and dirt. The tense muscles in his body relaxed as she gently dabbed the damp rag on his neck and she smiled.
She cleaned him as much as he allowed her to and when it began to grow dark she bowed and waved to him before she left. She wasn’t strong enough to stay through the night, just like she wasn’t strong enough to comfort him with her words because she didn’t have any to give. However, she silently hoped that he would understand through her smile that she would be back. If she couldn’t give him the strength that he deserved, she would scrounge up what little she did have and give it to him instead.
He was a wounded man, demon or not and she would show him the kindness that no one else could spare for her in hopes that maybe this was her sign from God, maybe this beautiful creature was her lesson in hope. For two days she went back to his side, fresh water for him and when she could manage it, fresh cooked fish and mushrooms and though the first time she had brought it to him he had smacked the large leaf from her hand, sending all her hard work crashing into the dirt she hadn’t minded. He was stubborn, strong, and that day he had given her something she hadn’t been expecting--his voice.
“…Don’t trouble yourself. Human food does nothing for me.”
It wasn’t a thank you, or anything that would have sufficed for a normal person, but it was a beacon of light in her dark days. It was an acknowledgement of her presence, a hint that he wasn’t human and an escape route if she chose to take it, but she couldn’t. There was something about the silver hair demon that got to her. It was like even though she could tell she was nothing in his eyes, just a nuisance, he had still found a way to dig his claws into her heart. He was all the company she needed and he welcomed her, even if only in a cold, emotionless way. What he did give her was more than anyone else had since her family’s death.
Maybe she was catching the wrong kind of fish for him, maybe that’s why he had smacked it away. She wasn’t sure if he had eaten at all in days and she desperately wanted to help him heal so she rolled up her tattered kimono and tucked it into her obi and waited until night had settled in before finding her way to the river bank. She was determined to find something that he could eat that she could get her hands on, after all, he was the most important thing in her life and she wanted to protect him.
The water was cold and gooseflesh clung to her skin as she waited for the fish to swim around her without quickly darting away. In all honesty, fishing was not high on her ‘able to do’ list, not much was, albeit if it would make her wounded demon better she would fish. She didn’t know how long she was out in the water, her hands waiting for the right moment to attack, to grab a fish and suffocate it with pure air so she could make it his meal. It was okay to kill if it was for food, she could be forgiven for that.
There was a moment or two where she wanted to give up, fishing was too hard, but when she thought of her demon she couldn’t just give up. What would he think of her if she did? Would he be disgusted, would he leave her? That thought scared her more than dying a painful death and she brushed all thoughts of giving up from her mind. If she couldn’t be strong enough to be patient and help him then she was a failure and that wasn’t something she wanted to be.
Her persistence paid off as a medium sized fish swam in front of her and for a moment pretending she was a strong demon, she lunged for the slippery scaled creature, her nails digging into its gills as she forced it out of the water. It struggled against her hold and she bit down on the bottom of her lip trying to keep it from slipping through her fingers.
“RIN!” She jumped at the yell, her eyes lifting up to see several villagers with torches watching her with angry faces.
Oh no, she thought, this was going to get bad.
“So you’re the culprit!” Another shouted at her and her heart sunk into her stomach.
Everything after that happened too fast for Rin to fully comprehend it. The ring leader of the mob came after her, his large hands pulling at her, dragging her from the water and making her lose her grip on the fish she caught. A sob worked its way up her throat as she watched the fish swim hastily away from her, the dirt and rocks from the ground cutting her legs as she was dragged from the water.
She didn’t have time to sob, or breathe as the group of men closed in on her, their fists and feet colliding with her small body. She couldn’t curl up into ball to protect her face, there were too many appendages coming at her, too many fists biting her and hurting her.
“You ungrateful whelp!” She wanted to cry and held it back as they continued to beat her. “Poaching fish from the hatchery for yourself!”
She couldn’t tell them that it wasn’t for her, that she had been ‘poaching’ as they claimed for a wounded demon in the forest. If she had been able to speak they would have killed her for helping a demon.
“The village takes care of you because we feel sorry for the little orphan--and this is how you repay us?!” Rin wanted to laugh at the care they showed her as the screaming leader picked her up by the front of her kimono and punched her in the face, her neck aching as her head snapped with the blow.
They were showing their care for her as a tooth was knocked from her mouth, the blood dribbling from her lips and they all continued to show her their ‘care’ as grown men, continued to hit her--a small child. It almost made her bitter, their care! She wanted to scoff, but she refused to even let them hear her whimper. She would be strong enough to carry the weight of whatever they dished out. She would forgive them because the didn’t understand how to show kindness--didn’t care enough to show true ‘care’.
“Next time we’ll kill you!” It was a serious threat, one she should have taken to heart as they tossed her limp body to the ground, her punishment ending.
Her body ached, pain filled her every muscle, every inch of her and she struggled to get to her feet hoping that they wouldn’t decide to continue their lashing and kick her to the ground. If they did she did not think she would be strong enough to keep the tears at bay. They hadn’t broken any of her bones, she knew that for certain and she bit back a moan of pain as she limped away. She stumbled slowly as she went, barely able to keep herself standing and for a brief moment, she hated all the village men who hurt her.
“Hmph… She’s a strange one…” They didn’t even bother to keep their comments out of her hearing range. “Not even a whimper..”
What was she supposed to do, thank them for their ‘compliments’. Would her making even a sound kept them from punching her? From kicking her?
“She can’t help it,” well jeez isn’t that nice, pick on Rin after we beat her, what lovely pillow talk. “Ever since she watched those bandits slaughter her family…. She’s been mute.”
They would never let her forget would they? She sighed heavily, noting how it hurt to do such as she hobbled back to her run down home. They always kept the pain fresh in her heart, never let her move on and she was suddenly tired. It didn’t matter what she did, because somehow in the end she still felt like a failure. Sleep, she told herself as she laid down in the comforts of her home, sleep would cure these horrible feelings welling up in her heart.
She would pray for God to forgive those men, they didn’t know better. She would pray for God to give her the strength that was fleeing and the courage to keep going on. She needed the hope that every pain in her body was justified, that it was all worth it. It wasn’t that she was mute by choice, because God had taken her voice in lieu of the gift he would give her later. She would give up everything if it meant that the suffering she felt would vanish and she placed everything she had left in hope of greater things.
Rin didn’t sleep well that night and by dawn she was preparing for her long day. Fishing was out, the villagers would be watching her like a ravenous hawk so she did what she could and set a few small traps for rodents and lizards. She didn’t want to see her demon empty handed, she had to bring him something, not caring how little it always was. Her left eye had swollen shut and her cheek felt like she had stuffed it full of rocks.
There were bruises, that she was positive about, and given a few days there would be more showing, but her body didn’t ache as much as she thought it should have. The anger and bitterness had left her with what little sleep she caught and she couldn’t help but smile. Every day was a new day to be thankful for and she wouldn’t let anyone keep her spirits down. Her traps were filled, thank heavens, and she killed and cooked her find. A small rat and lizard wasn’t much, not when her demon was so much bigger than her and her stomach growled hungrily and mentally she chastised herself for being hungry.
There would be other times for her to eat, she could catch herself something later after she was done with her day. Some berries on her way to see her demon would calm the churning of her stomach and though she was slower than the previous day she marched forward. The only thing she felt bad about was that she could not carry the large leaf with food and the bamboo pot with water. It panged her that she was too weak to take both, yet she merely left the water at her home. It was better to take what she could and not risk dropping her demon’s food, she was not going to overdo it and mess up her hard work.
Rin was breathing a little heavier when she finally made it to the clearing, her good eye honing in on silver and not wavering away as she found him. Relief flooded through her, he was still there waiting for her. She felt foolish for thinking that he would abandon her like everyone else had and she shuffled slowly to his side, kneeling close enough to feel the warmth that radiated from his body. Without hesitation she held out her catch to him, her short arms outstretched almost wanting to reach out to him, her heart wishing him to be her anchor, her strength.
“No thank you,” He wasn’t rude, not even truly cold to her and he looked away from her offering but not with distaste.
She wasn’t angry like how the villagers had been when her demon refused her; however, it weighed on her heart heavily and suddenly her offerings to him were too heavy for her small arms to hold. A sigh fell from her lips as she looked down at her offerings, her arms resting on her thighs as she tried to think of something else she could possibly gather for him to eat. This wasn’t a failure, it couldn’t have been--but merely a tiny set back, it was okay…
“What happened to you face?” His curiosity shocked her and it was like a magnet, her eye forced to search out those pools of amber. “---All right then, don’t tell me.”
All of her heavy feeling suddenly vanished, vaporized by his voice and she couldn’t stop the smile that cracked her aching face. He cared. She felt something bubbling up in her chest, something she remembered coming with laughter, or giggling, and yet neither came, but the feeling was enough to blind her heart with light. He wasn’t faking anything, not pitying her or hating her, he truly wanted to know and her spirits soared because this feeling was something she had desperately missed. Rin wanted to hug her demon, to shower him in words, but right now all she could give him was her smile.
Despite wanting to, she didn’t stay at her demon’s side long. There was a whole day in front of her and she needed to start searching for other types of food that he would like. She didn’t know how to go about asking him, not without words, so it was a guessing game. She’d get it right sooner or later and it put a spring in her step as she headed home. She felt brand new, as if the bruises were just a part of her imagination and she was walking on clouds.
It seemed like her demon had made the sky bright and blue, chasing away all the shadows in her path and she felt so happy that she could die from it. Her happiness it seemed however, was not meant to be long lived. As she neared her home the darkness spread and she could hear the sounds of things breaking as she crept closer. Something or someone was in her home. At first she thought it had been one of the villagers pillaging through her things trying to find something to say she stole. It was a horrible thought, reminding her of the bitterness clinging to her, yet it wasn’t a villager.
Instead it was a stranger--a man, if the term was used loosely. He was ugly, battle scared and rummaging through her things without a care of what he destroyed. He didn’t even give her shock as she appeared in the opening of her home. He merely turned to greet her with an disgusting smile, his large canines bulging from his mouth as if he were some type of dog.
“What?” He snorted. “Is this hovel your home…?”
The screaming of ‘wolves’ from the villagers stole her attention away from her home intruder and she clutched the wood plank that held her home together as he bumped into her as he fled, the howling of wolves tickling her ears. Dead villagers were everywhere, their blood seeping into the dirt, their flesh being torn from their bodies by the large ravenous wolves that appeared like an army of ants. Rin was frozen in horror as the wolves chased the creature who had been in her home, their sharp jaws sinking into his skin as they forced him to shore and pinned him to the ground.
The villagers continued to scream as another man appeared. He was beautiful too, not like her demon and he terrified her. The wolves growled as the young black haired man approached the ugly pinned creature, a conversation that Rin refused to hear going on and for a moment she thought that if she prayed hard enough for no more blood shed it would come true.
The younger man didn’t let that happen. His claws were sharp as they ripped right through the creature’s neck, blood flying everywhere, a drop or two landing on her kimono and her face as his head rolled a foot or two away from her feet. She had been lost in the horror, in the fear that she hadn’t realized how close it had all been to her and the urge to scream died on her lips as her legs gave out and she fell to her knees.
“..Fool.” His voice made her shudder in fear, the pack of wolves closing in on his sides, but not to devour him. Did he control them then? Was he a demon as well? “All right, our work’s done. I’m going to head home now.”
He was speaking to those blood drenched wolves at his side and Rin’s heart skipped a beat. “But you can have your fun with the villagers first.”
The remaining villagers screamed in pain, their blood coming down like rain as the wolves hunted them down. Rin couldn’t stay there, she couldn’t protect them and she hated herself for running the moment the wolves turned their backs on her. She was using them as a sacrifice to keep herself safe and she hated herself for her weakness. They screamed in her stead, died horrible painful deaths as they were ripped apart and all she could do was run away to the comforts of the forest.
The villagers lives were for her to save, there was no way she could have even if she wanted to. That man, he was no human. He controlled those wolves, ordered them to kill the villagers and next they would come for her as well. She prayed for wings, prayed that she could make it to her demon before the wolves turned their teeth on her and hoped--desperately prayed that her demon would save her.
She couldn’t cry because the tears would cloud her vision, couldn’t slow down because they would catch up that much quicker and she could hear the hungry howls behind her. Rin cursed her short legs and she cursed the villagers men for hurting her and slowing her down. She wanted to scream, wanted to throw up and there was a stitch in her side that made it difficult to breathe, but she pushed herself harder, faster as the pounding of feet, paws echoed behind her. She couldn’t give up now, she couldn’t fail because if she did she would die and that wasn’t something she wanted to do.
‘Almost there,’ she told herself as she gasped for breath. ‘Please God, give me the strength, I’m almost there. Please save me.. Help me, Please--’
Her foot hit a stray root and she stumbled, her legs giving out on her as the wolves came for her. She couldn’t keep herself running and fell, her arms flying out in front of her trying to use it as a way to spring herself back up, but the wolves were too fast. Teeth clamped down on her shoulder and enormous paws pushed down on her back and she gasped as pain ripped through her entire body. She didn’t scream, didn’t cry out, she merely slipped into the darkness and everything was gone.
Death, it was so final and she wasn’t hurting anymore. It was empty and lonely and dark and Rin waited for something. Had all those nights and days she spent praying to God just blind hopes? Was he going to save her and bring her to her family? What was going to happen to her now? Was this her punishment for not being strong enough? For not trying to save the villagers? Didn’t her good deeds outweigh her bad ones or were her bad ones just too horrible to overlook? She was sorry-oh God, she was so sorry, she just wanted to live. Rin just wanted to be with her demon, her beautiful amber eyed demon.
The darkness lightened suddenly and she was swept up in a familiar warmth, but instead of just a little she was entirely encased in it. She wasn’t dead? Her entire body pulsed and she felt the light pricks of claws on her left shoulder, the pain was still non existent and she felt lost. Forcing open her eyes, she waited patiently for the blurry vision to clear and when it did she felt her heart skip a beat. Long silver hair fell over her, the soft tresses caressing her and those amber eyes she wished for watched her, hidden emotion swirling with such dept in those beautiful orbs.
“What?!” A voice squawked like a chicken, loud and annoying. “She’s… Alive again?!”
So she had died then? Did her demon save her? How was it possible? “…L-Lord Sesshomaru? Did you save that maiden with the Tenseiga…?!”
Lord Sesshomaru? Was that her demon’s name then? It was a wonderful name for him. He had saved her then, brought her back from the dead somehow and he had given her another chance. Maybe she had been right all along, Sesshomaru was her gift from God, her savior, her everything and she was eternally grateful to him. His hand tightened its hold on her, pushing her close to his chest as he rose to his feet, he was carrying her.
The muscles in his chest tensed, yet not by carrying her with his only arm, no--Rin head rested gently on his shoulder, her small and blood-dirtied hand clutching his expensive clothes and pulling him closer to her. He paused for a moment before she felt him relax and she decided then that she would do anything for Sesshomaru. She would be strong enough to make him proud of her, she would be strong enough to voice her appreciation to him. She would show him how much she loved him because with out her Sesshomaru there would be no Rin.
“Come Jaken,” She would become his everything and never leave him, her Lord Sesshomaru.
The End
E/N: GAH! Volume 14 of the manga is my reference for this little goody. I've been feeling kind of down lately, so I'm glad I got this out. I'm working on another little short called "Better Sorry than Safe", hoping that will be up later today, no promises though.... PLEASE REVIEW!
I was thuroughly surprised I finished this as quickly as I did. Had some home-disasters that apparently fueled this! Crazy stuff. This is for my msn buddy Rochelle, because she get me the mojo I needed to finish this. ALSO the song that inspired this short is HIGHLY recommended to be listened to while reading this, it's beautiful. XD
A First Time For Everything
Note to God --Charice Pempengco
By Miztikal-Dragon
There weren’t many things to consider as an orphan, no wondering when family would come see you because they wouldn’t, no worrying about being hungry since that was a constant state of being, no hoping for kindness because people couldn’t give it freely and though it looked horrible she knew that despite everything she would be okay. She already knew that it wasn’t kindness that allowed her to live in the small village she’d been born to, it was pity. Pity because she had been forced to watch as her entire family was carelessly slaughtered by eager bandits and that was it.
None of the villagers cared whether she lived or died, she was worthless, penniless and useless. She figured give or take a year or two the villagers would have sent her on her way into the unknown; after all, they wouldn’t want the responsibility of taking care of her, no-not when it had been her family that caused the bandits to attack. God cursed a man with a beautiful wife, cursed a man who couldn’t protect what was his and God had cursed her for being born out of her parent’s ignorance, for daring to live.
She wouldn’t lie and say that all of the villagers were heartless, most were, but few selective men and women who pitied her would often allow her the leftover garbage of their dinner, torn and old clothing that wouldn’t pass off as wearable on anyone else; however, she took what she was given and she did as she was taught--with a smile.
Nothing was too good for her and for the hundredth time she bowed low and gave the man in front of her a small smile. The villagers had decided that her current home was unfit for a growing child and took it upon themselves to relocate her. The hovel was a fourth the size of the home her father had built, the straw and leaf roof slanted and merely a foot taller than her measly four-foot-one. The floor was hard dirt that cut the bottoms of her feet, large rocks sticking up randomly and the wood planks they used cracking and worn with old age. It looked ready to collapse on her with the bat of an eyelash and still she smiled and silently thanked the village men.
All of her family’s belongings were broken and torn, trash in the villagers eyes and it took her the entire day to cart it all over to her new residence on the outskirts of the village, though thankfully next to a small pond. Some of the ‘gently’ used cloth that was donated to her was used to strengthen the crumbling wood, in hopes that it would hold her new home together even if for little while. She dug up the rocks, her fingers bruised and bloodied and a nail or two torn off completely and put around her home believing they could plug up any holes that would let wild critters nibble on her enter. The mat she’d been given to sleep on was dirty and had tears and holes in them and she used it as a screen to keep what little heat she could conserve from slipping out and if she was careful, on the extremely cold nights she could manage a small fire-maybe.
They moved her, no doubt to ease their guilt when the table scraps stopped coming and when they no longer wanted to look into the face of a silent beggar-child. It would ease the pain of her existence if they separated themselves from her and she refused them justification when she nodded and thanked them for looking out for her best interest. Even at her age she already knew what the villagers were trying to do, they were hoping she’d leave to save herself or maybe have some demon take mercy on her and end her pathetic life but they wouldn’t take it from her with their hands. They’d convinced themselves that what they were doing was the right thing and she desperately wanted to believe that maybe, just maybe it was true.
She prayed for the villagers, asking God to forgive them for their ways, they didn’t understand, but she was strong enough for them, she would bare whatever sins they held against her. She prayed that her family had been able to cross over and were happy wherever they were, because she wanted to be with them and when she would meet up with them happiness would fill her. Never once did she ask for more food, more warmth of fire or a caring embrace, all she asked for was the strength and courage to make it through one more day. There had to be a reason for her pain and suffering, had to be a lesson she needed to learn and she would not look a good gift in the mouth.
She waited patiently for a sign, something that would let her know that God had heard her prayers and weeks flew by with nothing but steadily warm nights and edible plants that grew around her hovel. She was thankful for those and spent less and less time in the village and more in the neighboring forest. The sounds were more cheerful and welcoming and she managed, by trial and error, which plants could be eaten and which would make her violently ill and even some small rodents and lizards that were quite tasty after cooked over a small flame. Her time was spent gathering sturdier wood that she could use as reinforcement for her home, better leaves and grass that would protect her from rain and cold weather and even blankets if she could only learn to weave properly.
And then one day the forest didn’t feel welcoming anymore. The air was thick and every living creature was silent and unmoving, and though her instincts cautioned her to do the same, she wandered towards the cause of it. There had been a sound, one she couldn’t name that echoed through the trees and woke her from a dead sleep and it caught her curiosity. She traveled farther than she would have normally, deeper into the forest until she came out near the other side, the trees thinned out and the grass and bushes untamed and growing like fungus.
She crept slowly, cautiously so that her feet didn’t make a sound as they pressed into the ground below her. Her heart was beating rapidly in her chest, fighting against her ribs and she gripped the long bamboo pot which held drinkable water inside. Whatever it was that had the forest on edge was beginning to scare her and she bit down on her lower lip catching the silver amongst lush green. Ever so carefully she continued forward, hiding her body behind large tree trunks or overgrown bushes until she was close enough to take in the sight in front of her.
It was a man, she deduced, her eyes widening slightly. His long lean body was draped in front of a tree trunk, his expensive clothes ripped and torn and even covered in blood. At first glance she wondered if he was dead, though decided against it catching his loud gasping for air. He looked to be in a lot of pain, more so than any emotional or physical pain she herself had been put through and pity swelled up in her heart.
Her pity for the creature in front of her dried up and turned into fear as his enormous red eyes swung to her, his entire body tensing and if she dared to think it, a hiss threatening her slipping from his mouth. He was dangerous, a demon no doubt and she clung to the tree to her side hoping that he wasn’t somehow going to rip her to shreds. However, he didn’t rip her flesh into ribbons, in fact his glare stayed glued to her, his red eyes, bared fangs, and blood tainted lips pulled back into a snarl and though any normal girl would have run, or even fainted--she felt her curiosity taking over.
Gathering what little courage she had, the small girl eased her way out of the shadows, hoping that her slow pace would alert the snarling demon in front of her that she wasn’t worth killing. The closer she came, the more she realized how beautiful he was, his pale flesh flushed, his clawed hands digging into his ridiculously long white boa, and the blood from his wounded shoulder staining his garments and hair.
His angry cautious eyes watched every move she made, every breath that left her chest and the fear she felt slowly left her when she kneels at his side, a small glance at where his right hand should have been but only ripped fabric lay. It made her wonder what had happened to this beautiful creature, what happened to his arm? Did he lose it in the fight that brought him to her? She didn’t stay locked in her thoughts, no-not with the way he watched her with those ruby colored eyes and she swallowed the lump in her throat and did what her mother had told her to do, she dumped the water she had brought to drink on him.
The beautiful demon in front of her sputtered in shock, the red bleeding from his eyes and fading to molten amber. Amber was better, she told herself tearing the bottom of her kimono and using it as a cloth as she wiped away some of the dried blood and dirt. The tense muscles in his body relaxed as she gently dabbed the damp rag on his neck and she smiled.
She cleaned him as much as he allowed her to and when it began to grow dark she bowed and waved to him before she left. She wasn’t strong enough to stay through the night, just like she wasn’t strong enough to comfort him with her words because she didn’t have any to give. However, she silently hoped that he would understand through her smile that she would be back. If she couldn’t give him the strength that he deserved, she would scrounge up what little she did have and give it to him instead.
He was a wounded man, demon or not and she would show him the kindness that no one else could spare for her in hopes that maybe this was her sign from God, maybe this beautiful creature was her lesson in hope. For two days she went back to his side, fresh water for him and when she could manage it, fresh cooked fish and mushrooms and though the first time she had brought it to him he had smacked the large leaf from her hand, sending all her hard work crashing into the dirt she hadn’t minded. He was stubborn, strong, and that day he had given her something she hadn’t been expecting--his voice.
“…Don’t trouble yourself. Human food does nothing for me.”
It wasn’t a thank you, or anything that would have sufficed for a normal person, but it was a beacon of light in her dark days. It was an acknowledgement of her presence, a hint that he wasn’t human and an escape route if she chose to take it, but she couldn’t. There was something about the silver hair demon that got to her. It was like even though she could tell she was nothing in his eyes, just a nuisance, he had still found a way to dig his claws into her heart. He was all the company she needed and he welcomed her, even if only in a cold, emotionless way. What he did give her was more than anyone else had since her family’s death.
Maybe she was catching the wrong kind of fish for him, maybe that’s why he had smacked it away. She wasn’t sure if he had eaten at all in days and she desperately wanted to help him heal so she rolled up her tattered kimono and tucked it into her obi and waited until night had settled in before finding her way to the river bank. She was determined to find something that he could eat that she could get her hands on, after all, he was the most important thing in her life and she wanted to protect him.
The water was cold and gooseflesh clung to her skin as she waited for the fish to swim around her without quickly darting away. In all honesty, fishing was not high on her ‘able to do’ list, not much was, albeit if it would make her wounded demon better she would fish. She didn’t know how long she was out in the water, her hands waiting for the right moment to attack, to grab a fish and suffocate it with pure air so she could make it his meal. It was okay to kill if it was for food, she could be forgiven for that.
There was a moment or two where she wanted to give up, fishing was too hard, but when she thought of her demon she couldn’t just give up. What would he think of her if she did? Would he be disgusted, would he leave her? That thought scared her more than dying a painful death and she brushed all thoughts of giving up from her mind. If she couldn’t be strong enough to be patient and help him then she was a failure and that wasn’t something she wanted to be.
Her persistence paid off as a medium sized fish swam in front of her and for a moment pretending she was a strong demon, she lunged for the slippery scaled creature, her nails digging into its gills as she forced it out of the water. It struggled against her hold and she bit down on the bottom of her lip trying to keep it from slipping through her fingers.
“RIN!” She jumped at the yell, her eyes lifting up to see several villagers with torches watching her with angry faces.
Oh no, she thought, this was going to get bad.
“So you’re the culprit!” Another shouted at her and her heart sunk into her stomach.
Everything after that happened too fast for Rin to fully comprehend it. The ring leader of the mob came after her, his large hands pulling at her, dragging her from the water and making her lose her grip on the fish she caught. A sob worked its way up her throat as she watched the fish swim hastily away from her, the dirt and rocks from the ground cutting her legs as she was dragged from the water.
She didn’t have time to sob, or breathe as the group of men closed in on her, their fists and feet colliding with her small body. She couldn’t curl up into ball to protect her face, there were too many appendages coming at her, too many fists biting her and hurting her.
“You ungrateful whelp!” She wanted to cry and held it back as they continued to beat her. “Poaching fish from the hatchery for yourself!”
She couldn’t tell them that it wasn’t for her, that she had been ‘poaching’ as they claimed for a wounded demon in the forest. If she had been able to speak they would have killed her for helping a demon.
“The village takes care of you because we feel sorry for the little orphan--and this is how you repay us?!” Rin wanted to laugh at the care they showed her as the screaming leader picked her up by the front of her kimono and punched her in the face, her neck aching as her head snapped with the blow.
They were showing their care for her as a tooth was knocked from her mouth, the blood dribbling from her lips and they all continued to show her their ‘care’ as grown men, continued to hit her--a small child. It almost made her bitter, their care! She wanted to scoff, but she refused to even let them hear her whimper. She would be strong enough to carry the weight of whatever they dished out. She would forgive them because the didn’t understand how to show kindness--didn’t care enough to show true ‘care’.
“Next time we’ll kill you!” It was a serious threat, one she should have taken to heart as they tossed her limp body to the ground, her punishment ending.
Her body ached, pain filled her every muscle, every inch of her and she struggled to get to her feet hoping that they wouldn’t decide to continue their lashing and kick her to the ground. If they did she did not think she would be strong enough to keep the tears at bay. They hadn’t broken any of her bones, she knew that for certain and she bit back a moan of pain as she limped away. She stumbled slowly as she went, barely able to keep herself standing and for a brief moment, she hated all the village men who hurt her.
“Hmph… She’s a strange one…” They didn’t even bother to keep their comments out of her hearing range. “Not even a whimper..”
What was she supposed to do, thank them for their ‘compliments’. Would her making even a sound kept them from punching her? From kicking her?
“She can’t help it,” well jeez isn’t that nice, pick on Rin after we beat her, what lovely pillow talk. “Ever since she watched those bandits slaughter her family…. She’s been mute.”
They would never let her forget would they? She sighed heavily, noting how it hurt to do such as she hobbled back to her run down home. They always kept the pain fresh in her heart, never let her move on and she was suddenly tired. It didn’t matter what she did, because somehow in the end she still felt like a failure. Sleep, she told herself as she laid down in the comforts of her home, sleep would cure these horrible feelings welling up in her heart.
She would pray for God to forgive those men, they didn’t know better. She would pray for God to give her the strength that was fleeing and the courage to keep going on. She needed the hope that every pain in her body was justified, that it was all worth it. It wasn’t that she was mute by choice, because God had taken her voice in lieu of the gift he would give her later. She would give up everything if it meant that the suffering she felt would vanish and she placed everything she had left in hope of greater things.
Rin didn’t sleep well that night and by dawn she was preparing for her long day. Fishing was out, the villagers would be watching her like a ravenous hawk so she did what she could and set a few small traps for rodents and lizards. She didn’t want to see her demon empty handed, she had to bring him something, not caring how little it always was. Her left eye had swollen shut and her cheek felt like she had stuffed it full of rocks.
There were bruises, that she was positive about, and given a few days there would be more showing, but her body didn’t ache as much as she thought it should have. The anger and bitterness had left her with what little sleep she caught and she couldn’t help but smile. Every day was a new day to be thankful for and she wouldn’t let anyone keep her spirits down. Her traps were filled, thank heavens, and she killed and cooked her find. A small rat and lizard wasn’t much, not when her demon was so much bigger than her and her stomach growled hungrily and mentally she chastised herself for being hungry.
There would be other times for her to eat, she could catch herself something later after she was done with her day. Some berries on her way to see her demon would calm the churning of her stomach and though she was slower than the previous day she marched forward. The only thing she felt bad about was that she could not carry the large leaf with food and the bamboo pot with water. It panged her that she was too weak to take both, yet she merely left the water at her home. It was better to take what she could and not risk dropping her demon’s food, she was not going to overdo it and mess up her hard work.
Rin was breathing a little heavier when she finally made it to the clearing, her good eye honing in on silver and not wavering away as she found him. Relief flooded through her, he was still there waiting for her. She felt foolish for thinking that he would abandon her like everyone else had and she shuffled slowly to his side, kneeling close enough to feel the warmth that radiated from his body. Without hesitation she held out her catch to him, her short arms outstretched almost wanting to reach out to him, her heart wishing him to be her anchor, her strength.
“No thank you,” He wasn’t rude, not even truly cold to her and he looked away from her offering but not with distaste.
She wasn’t angry like how the villagers had been when her demon refused her; however, it weighed on her heart heavily and suddenly her offerings to him were too heavy for her small arms to hold. A sigh fell from her lips as she looked down at her offerings, her arms resting on her thighs as she tried to think of something else she could possibly gather for him to eat. This wasn’t a failure, it couldn’t have been--but merely a tiny set back, it was okay…
“What happened to you face?” His curiosity shocked her and it was like a magnet, her eye forced to search out those pools of amber. “---All right then, don’t tell me.”
All of her heavy feeling suddenly vanished, vaporized by his voice and she couldn’t stop the smile that cracked her aching face. He cared. She felt something bubbling up in her chest, something she remembered coming with laughter, or giggling, and yet neither came, but the feeling was enough to blind her heart with light. He wasn’t faking anything, not pitying her or hating her, he truly wanted to know and her spirits soared because this feeling was something she had desperately missed. Rin wanted to hug her demon, to shower him in words, but right now all she could give him was her smile.
Despite wanting to, she didn’t stay at her demon’s side long. There was a whole day in front of her and she needed to start searching for other types of food that he would like. She didn’t know how to go about asking him, not without words, so it was a guessing game. She’d get it right sooner or later and it put a spring in her step as she headed home. She felt brand new, as if the bruises were just a part of her imagination and she was walking on clouds.
It seemed like her demon had made the sky bright and blue, chasing away all the shadows in her path and she felt so happy that she could die from it. Her happiness it seemed however, was not meant to be long lived. As she neared her home the darkness spread and she could hear the sounds of things breaking as she crept closer. Something or someone was in her home. At first she thought it had been one of the villagers pillaging through her things trying to find something to say she stole. It was a horrible thought, reminding her of the bitterness clinging to her, yet it wasn’t a villager.
Instead it was a stranger--a man, if the term was used loosely. He was ugly, battle scared and rummaging through her things without a care of what he destroyed. He didn’t even give her shock as she appeared in the opening of her home. He merely turned to greet her with an disgusting smile, his large canines bulging from his mouth as if he were some type of dog.
“What?” He snorted. “Is this hovel your home…?”
The screaming of ‘wolves’ from the villagers stole her attention away from her home intruder and she clutched the wood plank that held her home together as he bumped into her as he fled, the howling of wolves tickling her ears. Dead villagers were everywhere, their blood seeping into the dirt, their flesh being torn from their bodies by the large ravenous wolves that appeared like an army of ants. Rin was frozen in horror as the wolves chased the creature who had been in her home, their sharp jaws sinking into his skin as they forced him to shore and pinned him to the ground.
The villagers continued to scream as another man appeared. He was beautiful too, not like her demon and he terrified her. The wolves growled as the young black haired man approached the ugly pinned creature, a conversation that Rin refused to hear going on and for a moment she thought that if she prayed hard enough for no more blood shed it would come true.
The younger man didn’t let that happen. His claws were sharp as they ripped right through the creature’s neck, blood flying everywhere, a drop or two landing on her kimono and her face as his head rolled a foot or two away from her feet. She had been lost in the horror, in the fear that she hadn’t realized how close it had all been to her and the urge to scream died on her lips as her legs gave out and she fell to her knees.
“..Fool.” His voice made her shudder in fear, the pack of wolves closing in on his sides, but not to devour him. Did he control them then? Was he a demon as well? “All right, our work’s done. I’m going to head home now.”
He was speaking to those blood drenched wolves at his side and Rin’s heart skipped a beat. “But you can have your fun with the villagers first.”
The remaining villagers screamed in pain, their blood coming down like rain as the wolves hunted them down. Rin couldn’t stay there, she couldn’t protect them and she hated herself for running the moment the wolves turned their backs on her. She was using them as a sacrifice to keep herself safe and she hated herself for her weakness. They screamed in her stead, died horrible painful deaths as they were ripped apart and all she could do was run away to the comforts of the forest.
The villagers lives were for her to save, there was no way she could have even if she wanted to. That man, he was no human. He controlled those wolves, ordered them to kill the villagers and next they would come for her as well. She prayed for wings, prayed that she could make it to her demon before the wolves turned their teeth on her and hoped--desperately prayed that her demon would save her.
She couldn’t cry because the tears would cloud her vision, couldn’t slow down because they would catch up that much quicker and she could hear the hungry howls behind her. Rin cursed her short legs and she cursed the villagers men for hurting her and slowing her down. She wanted to scream, wanted to throw up and there was a stitch in her side that made it difficult to breathe, but she pushed herself harder, faster as the pounding of feet, paws echoed behind her. She couldn’t give up now, she couldn’t fail because if she did she would die and that wasn’t something she wanted to do.
‘Almost there,’ she told herself as she gasped for breath. ‘Please God, give me the strength, I’m almost there. Please save me.. Help me, Please--’
Her foot hit a stray root and she stumbled, her legs giving out on her as the wolves came for her. She couldn’t keep herself running and fell, her arms flying out in front of her trying to use it as a way to spring herself back up, but the wolves were too fast. Teeth clamped down on her shoulder and enormous paws pushed down on her back and she gasped as pain ripped through her entire body. She didn’t scream, didn’t cry out, she merely slipped into the darkness and everything was gone.
Death, it was so final and she wasn’t hurting anymore. It was empty and lonely and dark and Rin waited for something. Had all those nights and days she spent praying to God just blind hopes? Was he going to save her and bring her to her family? What was going to happen to her now? Was this her punishment for not being strong enough? For not trying to save the villagers? Didn’t her good deeds outweigh her bad ones or were her bad ones just too horrible to overlook? She was sorry-oh God, she was so sorry, she just wanted to live. Rin just wanted to be with her demon, her beautiful amber eyed demon.
The darkness lightened suddenly and she was swept up in a familiar warmth, but instead of just a little she was entirely encased in it. She wasn’t dead? Her entire body pulsed and she felt the light pricks of claws on her left shoulder, the pain was still non existent and she felt lost. Forcing open her eyes, she waited patiently for the blurry vision to clear and when it did she felt her heart skip a beat. Long silver hair fell over her, the soft tresses caressing her and those amber eyes she wished for watched her, hidden emotion swirling with such dept in those beautiful orbs.
“What?!” A voice squawked like a chicken, loud and annoying. “She’s… Alive again?!”
So she had died then? Did her demon save her? How was it possible? “…L-Lord Sesshomaru? Did you save that maiden with the Tenseiga…?!”
Lord Sesshomaru? Was that her demon’s name then? It was a wonderful name for him. He had saved her then, brought her back from the dead somehow and he had given her another chance. Maybe she had been right all along, Sesshomaru was her gift from God, her savior, her everything and she was eternally grateful to him. His hand tightened its hold on her, pushing her close to his chest as he rose to his feet, he was carrying her.
The muscles in his chest tensed, yet not by carrying her with his only arm, no--Rin head rested gently on his shoulder, her small and blood-dirtied hand clutching his expensive clothes and pulling him closer to her. He paused for a moment before she felt him relax and she decided then that she would do anything for Sesshomaru. She would be strong enough to make him proud of her, she would be strong enough to voice her appreciation to him. She would show him how much she loved him because with out her Sesshomaru there would be no Rin.
“Come Jaken,” She would become his everything and never leave him, her Lord Sesshomaru.
The End
E/N: GAH! Volume 14 of the manga is my reference for this little goody. I've been feeling kind of down lately, so I'm glad I got this out. I'm working on another little short called "Better Sorry than Safe", hoping that will be up later today, no promises though.... PLEASE REVIEW!