InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ A Hanyou's Heart ❯ Marked ( Chapter 4 )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

Disclaimer: The InuYasha franchise and its characters all belong to mangaka, Rumiko Takahashi.

'Three years... it has been three whole years.'

Kaede knelt on the wooden floor of her hut, stirring the stew she was cooking over the fire. The old miko's eyes were wistful, lost in thought as she turned from her cooking pot and looked out through the small window of her home. The night sky was visible, and it was alight with sparkling stars that had come out to shine. It was considerably darker out than usual.

A new moon.

Kaede looked away and turned back to stoking the fire. Not far away, Rin was sleeping on her futon, having spent the day out in the fields with her miko guardian, picking flowers and various herbs. Rin brought such joy into Kaede's life, the little girl's happy-go-lucky mood was contagious, and she rarely left the older woman alone for long. Loneliness was no longer a worry for Kaede. And, although Kaede knew Rin greatly missed her Lord Sesshoumaru, the little girl was never alone, either.

In fact, it was rare that any of them were alone anymore. Sango and Miroku had married a few years ago, and the no longer so lecherous monk had become a dedicated family man. Sango had stayed true to her promise and blessed him with beautiful children of their own; first with twin girls, and, more recently, a handsomely cute little baby boy. Kohaku, Sango's younger brother, had left the village with Kirara in order to become a professional demon slayer, a taijiya, like his sister, and also to give her and her new family some space. It was always so crowded in her hut these days.

Shippou had gone off to take the kitsune exam, and to earn his higher ranks as a respected youkai. He still visited frequently and often stayed to help look after the twins while Miroku and Sango tended to both their son and duties as the village protectors.

The only one that still truly suffered, and would perhaps never feel completely at ease again in this village of humans was -

"Hey, old woman."

Kaede looked up to see InuYasha standing in her doorway, his normally silver-white mane now the color of ebony, his amber eyes a dark, swirling shade of violet. Kaede smiled wryly. "Good evening, InuYasha. What brings ye here this fine, moon-less night?"

The human InuYasha scoffed, turning his nose up at her as he crossed his arms in a typical InuYasha manner. "You know freakin' well what, old woman."

Kaede stifled a small chuckle. "Really, InuYasha. Such respect ye have for ye elders."

He scoffed again, a scowl locked in place as he moved to sit down on the opposite side of the fire pit. He sat quietly for a few moments before his face softened.

"S'not like you mind me being here... do ya?" he asked, trying to keep his voice as casual as possible when he spoke the last part.

Kaede smiled, albeit a little sadly. "Aye. It does this 'old woman' good to have her friend's company once in a while, and young Rin is always happy to see ye, ye know this. Tell me though, InuYasha, why is it ye are not with Miroku and Sango instead?"

He gazed down into the fire's embers. "Keh. They're so busy lately with the kids and they've only just got 'em all to sleep, so I thought I'd give 'em both a break and stay here tonight."

"Very considerate."

"Keh."

The two sat in silence for a while. InuYasha continued to stare into the fire, all the while clutching his sword, Tetsusaiga, against his chest tightly. It gave him peace of mind, especially on these particular nights, to have it near. A voice suddenly sounded in his head from one of his previous human experiences.

"So what if more people know about your secret? It only means you have more friends than before."

InuYasha sighed. Kagome...

Kaede looked up at him again, immediately sensing his change in mood. He looked sad, distant.

"Thinking of her again, InuYasha?"

The hanyou turned, his human eyes widened and he blushed furiously at having been caught daydreaming. He locked his best scowl back in place and turned away, muttering obscenities under his breath. "As if."

He was still blushing.

And Kaede saw right through his facade. It was on nights like these that...

"No use trying to hide it. Ye red face tells this woman all."

His blush darkened, becoming redder than his fire rat haori. His hard face fell, a sigh escaping his lips.

"Look, it's not as if... I mean, of course I don't regret doing what I had to, but I..."
"Ye miss her, no?"
"Sometimes."
Translation: He missed the girl a lot.

InuYasha had never been the same since the day he had wished for Kagome to return to her own time. She had been the one who softened his heart, showed him it was okay to feel, to care for others and depend on them in return. She had given him friends, a place to call home, even a family. If it hadn't been for Kagome, the hanyou would still be alone, pinned to Goshinboku by Kikyou's arrow, doomed to remain asleep for all eternity. The futuristic girl had saved his life.

Kaede knew very well that InuYasha had only wished for such a thing to repay all that Kagome had shown and given him. The hanyou wanted her to be safe, living the life she was supposed to in her own era with her own family. He felt he owed it to Kagome, that she deserved better than he could give her. He put her own happiness and well being before his own.

The old miko knew letting Kagome go had been the hardest thing he had ever had to do.

InuYasha suddenly interrupted the silence that had again fallen over the two.

"Sometimes I wonder if she knows, if she..."

Kaede interjected. "Remembers ye?"

He nodded once, his eyes downcast, his face mostly expressionless, but the deep melancholy he felt still visible in his violet pools, at least to those who knew him well. His dark hair fell over his shoulder, the fire's light reflecting against the tresses, giving it the illusion that it was glowing.

Kaede began again. "It is unlikely, child. Ye made a wish on the jewel for young Kagome to return to her own time and forget. The lass disappeared after ye made the wish, and the tama vanished along with her. We can only assume it is as such. Living in her own era, she will undoubtedly have no recollections of her time spent here with ye and the others."

InuYasha allowed the very tiniest of whimpers to escape his throat, one he prayed beyond reason Kaede had not heard. He hated feeling like this, in fact, he was sick and tired of it. He had been the one to send Kagome back home, no one else. He had wished for her to forget in the hope that it would make it easier for her to move on. It had all been his own doing, damn it! His own choice!

Living with the consequences just hadn't been as easy as he had hoped. Who had he been kidding? He'd known it wouldn't be easy living without Kagome, but as long as she was safe, as long as she was happy, he would deal with what he must.

He still had Miroku, Sango and Shippou, of course, along with Kaede and Rin. Even Kohaku. He was never truly alone anymore, Kagome had given him that. Her presence, however, her being, had left its mark on InuYasha's very soul.

Five hundred years in the future, Kagome was living the life she was meant to live, the one she had been born into in the first place. She had no memory of InuYasha, their friends or the adventures they had shared together.

But InuYasha would never forget her. He couldn't even if he wanted to. She would forever be a part of him now, always in his heart, and he knew Miroku and Sango would never forget her, either. Life was never easy, but InuYasha knew he had to try. Kagome had moved on, and he needed to as well. He owed her that much.

As if he had spoken his thoughts out aloud, Kaede reassured him. "She cared for ye a great deal, InuYasha. Kagome would have wanted to see ye happy. Embrace the kindness and acceptance she gave ye, begin anew, as ye were meant to."

Kagome's bright, beaming smile appeared in his head. "I want to see you smile. I want you to laugh a lot."

For the last three years his heart had been heavy with sadness and loss, a feeling of massive vulnerability, but now InuYasha stood with new determination. If not for himself, then at least for her, he would try. He would do his best, in her honor, to live the life Kagome had given him.


Later that same night, the human InuYasha found himself sitting on the cool night grass, leaning with his back against the bone eater's well.

Yes, he would try to move on and stop dwelling on his past. His experience with Kikyou had been trying enough, but that didn't mean he would just up and forget Kagome, not ever. He would just try harder to appreciate all that she had given and done for him. However, it was on nights like the new moon that InuYasha was at his loneliest, and that he missed his time travelling companion the most. He would kiss Sessoumaru’s feet first before admitting that, but here in the secluded meadow, where there was no one but him, his subconscious and the well, he was much more at ease with those thoughts.

Being at the well cast a sense of calm over him. Kagome's scent had long since disappeared from the well's edge, and it had not allowed him through to her time since the jewel had disappeared, but it was still the closest link to her he had left. Every three days or so he would come here, sometimes spend the night. Like the faithful Goshinboku tree, this was a place he came to to collect his thoughts, to recount his memories of the miko. Several times he had actually jumped into the well's depths and mused at the bottom instead.

Here, he felt as if he was still connected with her, and, occasionally, he would speak aloud (albeit quietly, should a passing, still semi-lecherous monk happen to stroll by). He would speak his thoughts aloud as if speaking to Kagome herself. He knew it was useless, and pretty damn pointless, since there was no way she could hear him, but he always felt better afterwards, much calmer, reassured.

This night, perhaps, would be the last he would spend here.

Of course, he would continue to check the well every so often, just for the sake of his peace of mind, but he knew moving on involved letting go, too. Kagome wasn't coming back, there was no way she could. InuYasha's very own wish had seen to that.

Never would he forget Kagome, though. He would always hold the memories of his time spent with her close to him. More misery, no doubt, lingered ahead in his life without her in it, but he knew he wasn't helping by feeling sorry for himself all the time.

But always, always, would InuYasha love Kagome. Nothing, not even time itself, could alter that.

InuYasha sat again with his arms folded against his chest and his legs crossed, but this time, as he closed his eyes, there was no longer a scowl locked in place. His face was relaxed, so incredibly peaceful in appearance. He could see her again in his mind's eye...

"I want to be with you, InuYasha."

"I love you. I love you as a hanyou."

He sighed, but his lips turned up slightly in a small, genuine smile.

It had taken Kagome's final departure and longer, but InuYasha had finally been able to admit to himself those three little words. If only he had been able to tell Kagome that he felt the same, too, perhaps even more than her. Who knew?

InuYasha had just about nodded off into a gentle sleep when something alerted him. A feeling of sorts. He stood abruptly and gazed down into the well's depths, but the feeling was gone. His face fell in disappointment. For just one moment, he could have sworn he felt the well's magic flare once more. It must have been his imagination though. The well had not worked in three whole years. Had he been hanyou, his ears would have been drooping. There was just no way the well would work now.

Five hundred years in the future, an obsidian haired girl with shining macho colored eyes aroused from her sleep, shooting up in her bed and searching her bedroom with darting pupils. When finding she really was the only living being in the room, she sighed, her heartbeat slowing once more as she lowered herself back down to sleep.

"Kagome... I really miss you."

Who had that voice belonged to? It was hard to make out, but it sounded rather masculine, deep, a little rough around the edges but - no. She must have been imagining things. Kagome must have been imagining the strange blue hue of light that emanated from the well house earlier that same night, too.

'High school. I think I've finally lost it.'


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