InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ A Lifetime Loving You Part 2; The Path to Osaka ❯ What Could Have Been ( Chapter 14 )

Disclaimer; The original characters in the based story are not mine and the characters that are originally in the series are not mine. Characters of my own creation are added to the story; otherwise the characters belong to the original author.

A Lifetime Loving You

Part 2; The Path to Osaka

~~~~

Chapter 14; What Could Have Been

(Inu-yasha)

In less than a day, Kagome, Tai, and I caught up with the rest of the group, Polaris leading the way. Once I was back in the lead, Kitsumi stuck close to my heels as we got to the pass between the two mountains on the eastern side of the valley.

The wind picked up as I pulled myself up to the climax of the crest and stood up to brush the dirt off my hakama and kimono. I finally turned to look out, and there was the valley surrounded by treacherous mountain walls. Rolls of fog hist ost of the valley, but the sound of crows calling in the distance. I opened my eyes a little more as I felt Kitsumi's tiny hand grip my pant leg and let out a tiny gasp.

Kagome, along side Miroku and Sango stood beside us as they took in the sight. “It is!” Miroku spoke in a horse voice,e Vae Valley of the Dead Fogs.”

Sango nudged him hard with her elbow and he whimpered as he looked to her to get some kind of clue as to what he had done. “Don't say that in front of the children.”

“But, Darling, that is what this valley is called. Rumors say even demons dare not venture into this place. They say that the trees have a nature of their own, others loose their way in the fogs, and if that doesn't take lif life…the bog that creates the fogs will take it if the valley doesn't.”

Kara and Kohaku looked up at their father wide eyes with fear as both swallowed hard and theneesnees buckled. Sango groaned as she waked Miroku up the back of his head.

Shippo jumped up on Kagome's shoulder and snorted. “Some things just never change.”

Kagome agreed with him and then turned to me. “What do we do know?” she asked as villagers began to gather around us and look over the valley in fearful awe.

I took a deep breath and looked down into the valley, as Kitsumi turned her head up too look at me and hear my order. “We need to get to the bottom of this mountain by night fall. Polaris, keep everyone in your tribe on guard for anything unexpected.”

Kitsumi opened her mouth a little and looked back out into the valley and gripped my leg a little more. The sudden tighten in her grip caught my attention and I looked down. “Hey, Squirt? You okay?”

Her little brow narrowed. “I'm okay…Let's go, Inu-yasha! I'm not afraid!”

I bit my lip in concern and looked out at the rolling fogs. “Alright,” I said, and leaned down to take Kitsumi's hand as I pried it way from my leg. She gripped two of my fingers and quickened her pace to stay as close to me as she could.

Kagome wasn't far behind the two of us, keeping close watch of her daughter. I kept Kitsumi's tiny hand gently pinched between my thumb and two fingersI woI would her lose her anyway. I liked the feeling of having that tiny hand wrapped around my fingers. The dependence made me feel even closer to Kitsumi at that very moment.

“I wish you could have been my father.”

Those words still echoed in my head from that moment they were said. The idea of Kitsumi calling me such a title felt even more up lifting. The honor and pride of being Kitsumi's father was a dream I had had since the moment I first heard her new born cries. Hell, since the first time I felt her heart beating in my hand I wanted to know what it would be like to hear her say that word, and having it directed toward me. No other name seemed worthier to me than that name.

The path then led us into the dense forest where the branches intertwined and twd lid like vines. The opening was a narrow cavern like path through the thicket that would take all of us into the forest. It was only three feet high from the earth to the thicket top, with maybe two feet of width. The mists began to gather around us, blocking out the sunlight making the passage way even darker than it probably should have been.

Miroku came to my side once he saw me stop. “We have to go through that.”

“It won't be a long passage I hope. Strange…I don't recall this ever being here,” Polaris told us.

Dotomi, the second oldest of the dog sisters, “The demon trees may have grown it as a trap. We'll have to go around.”

“We can't,” I spoke, “If we loose sight of the trail in this mist then were doomed.”

Sango looked over the thicket. “There is a passage way to crawl through this. If I'm correct than this passage way has already been cleared out. I don't think we have anything to worry about.”

Dotomi snorted. “Tree demons are not so kind. You think you know this area better than I do?”

Sango glared at her. “I know more about demons than you probably do.”

Dotomi smirked, “Really? Let's test your knowledge than.”

Sango stood her ground as Dotomi challenged her, but Polaris held her arm out in from of her sister. “I will not allow this. We are here to aid each other. Your senseless quarreling won't get any of us, human and demon alike, any closer to Osaka.”

Dotomi snorted and turned her nose away and crossed her arms. Polaris returned her attention to me. “What is the plan?”

I thought for a long moment as I looked at the thicket of vines and roots. “We really have no other choice…”

Kagome looked at me and then at the cavern before turning to everyone. “Miroku, Sango, gather any form of rope that we have. We'll tie everyone around the waste to keep everyone together as we travel through the dark, and that way we won't loose anyone.”

~~~~

One everyone was tied together in a line I looked down the cave with Kagome and Kitsumi tied to my sides. I took a deep breath and got down on my knees at the opening when I felt Kitsumi pull back on my left. I looked at her and saw the fear in her tiny plum eum eyes.

“Come on, Squirt. It won't take long.”

“I…I'm too scared…” she whispered, “I…I don't like the way it smells.”

Miroku stood behind Kagome securing his knot. “It's not all that bad, Kitsumi. We'll be out of there in no time.”

But Miroku didn't know that face like I did. From the moment I knew Kitsumi, she always had a fear of being in tight, dark spaces. Her breathing would increase and her scent of fear would grow.

I crawled over to her. “Squirt, remember what I taught you? Remember when you rode on my back for the first time and I showed you how to breathe in order to help you stay calm?”

She nodded with a little shiver. I continued, “We're going to do the same thing here, okay? Just breathe with me and follow my breathing patterns. Nice, slow, easy breaths and it will be all done before you know it. Okay, Kit?”

He wrung her fingers squeezing them in a knot as she nodded her little head. I got behind her bit down on her kimono again to carry her. Her legs rolled up and her arms wrapped around them as he pulled herself in a fetal position and let me take her into the darkness.

She swallowed hard and whimpered for a second as she tried to find control over her breathing. Finally, she followed the same pattern of my own breath as it hit the top of her head, and her pink hair pulled to touch my nose when it came in.

Kagome was at my heels as we crawled, one person entering as aer wer went in. I was able to see in the dark since my eyes were made to do so in such places like this, but Kitsumi still being a pup and all still needed time to adapt to her new abilities. Anyway, I knew her eyes were closed so that we wouldn't be able to tell how close the walls were.

I stopped for a moment to get a scent correction and felt Kitsumi panic f mom moment until I could breathe normally for her again.

“What is it?” Kagome asked once she felt the rope go slack around her signaling that I had come to a halt.

I sniffed the air as Kitsumi whimpered wondering what was going on. I put her down for a moment keeping my face close to her shivering body. “There's a scent in the wood.”

Suddenly, Kitsumi screamed and crawled under my belly. “Something touched me. It slithered across my hand.”

Kagome pulled back on the rope to how her own fear for a moment until I grunted at the sudden feeling of constriction on my stomach. I ed aed around as Kitsumi's tiny body quivered around my arm. “It's nothing, Squirt. Just a simple little snake crawling through the thicket.”

It was then as I watched the little snake pass, a root began to wrap around its slender body quickly and pull it into the ground.

My eyes widened and I held still for a long time. Kitsumi's breathing picked up when he felt me stiffen.

Kagome listened until she could confirm that I wasn't breathing. “Inu-yasha?”

I saw roots start to move at my hands and in the walls around me. I took one step back until I felt Kagome's arm against my ankle. “Move everyone back very slowly.”

I went down to pick up Kitsumi in my jaw again, when the walls suddenly began to groan. The moans grew louder as I began to feel panic pick up in the scents around me, Kitsumi and Kagome especially.

“Go back! Crawl back now!” I cried at the darkness behind me as villagers and demons tried to figure out the confusion of the matter.

But the roots and thicket walls around us condensed and bound us all in a ball of root and vine. The groaning got louder as I felt the branches around me constrict, and it took me a moment to realize that Kitsumi wasn't anywhere near me.

The movement finally stopped and the groaning finished as I tried to become familiar with my surroundings outside the pod. “Kagome,” I called immediately.

The sound of many voices soon followed, either calling aid aid or crying in fear. And it was the last thing I heard before the darkness took me…and then…all was quiet.

~~~~

When I came too I saw a bright light before me, and I could hardly see anything. The light was brilliant as I tried to shade my eyes from it. It was just too intense and I couldn't see.

“Get up, Papa! Mama says you'll go blind staring into the sun like that.”

I looked around to try and find the source of the familiar voice, and then it eclipse vie view of the sun. She giggled and laughed at me, this young almost teenage girl with raven hair and purple eyes. “Were you dreaming again, Papa?”

I sat up slowly as I smirked at my daughter. I rubbed my head for a moment and everything felt like it was a complete blur.

“Papa, are you alright?”

I put my hand to my head and got to my feet. “I'm fine, Hanna! Where is your mother? You were supposed to be helping her with the house chores today.”

Hanna grinned and clasped her hands together as she bowed to me. “I'm finished, Papa! Mama sent me out to get you so we could go on the picnic lunch today.”

I slapped my forehead, remembering what I knew I would forget being told this morning.

Hanna grabbed hold of my hand and tugged me along side of her. “What were you dreaming about, Papa?”

I thought hard for a moment. “Well, Hanna…come to think of it…I don't quite remember.”

The young girl shook her head. “You always tell me that, and then you remember once you've eaten something. Let's hurry before Mama leaves without us then.”

~~~~

(Kagome)

“Oh gosh, can you believe it Kagome? In less than an hour you and Hojo will finally be married.”

My mother squealed with delight as she helped me put the last flower in my hair and fix my wedding yukata. Gently with a smile she helped me place my veil over my head, and together we looked at ourselves in the full length mirror. In an instant my smile faded, “Oh gosh, Mom! What am I doing? I feel like everything's moving too fast.”

My mother shook her head. “Oh,ome,ome, we've gone through this. You and Hojo were meant for each other since they day you met and he asked you out on that first date to the movies that Saturday Night in middle school.”

She then turned my head and looked me in the eye. I hesitated and looked at her. “Mom, Hojo cheated on me in college, you know that. How do I know he won't do it agwhenwhen I'm his wife?”

My mother looked e ane and said, “Kagome, you're not married yet…it's not too late to turn back.”

I let the moment of silence wane for a moment until my little brother walked in through the door. “Ah, there she is! Hey, mom, can I have a talk with Sis for awhile?”

My mother looked away from me for a moment and smiled weakly with a nod to my brother before leaving the room. I sat down and smiled at Sota.

He smiled nervously and smoothed out his tux with his hands. “How do I look?”

I smiled, “You look absolutely dashing!”

He smiled nervously and kneeled down on the floor as I took a seat on my old bed. “There's one hell of a crowd out there. I've never seen so many people at the shrine.”

I smiled as I smoothed out my dress.

“Sis…I want to ask Akina to marry me today at the reception. Is that okay with you?”

I gasped in surprise and smiled brighter than I had that whole long morning. “Oh, Sota! I'm so happy for you!” I said as I hugged him.

“Really? I mean…I've never seen you this happy the last five days.”

I shook my head to hide the tears of joy from my face. “Oh, Sota, I thought you would never ask her. You guys are just so in love with each other.”

A moment later those tears turned into tears of sadness, and Sota handed me his handkerchief. “Hey, hey, come on, Sis. This is a day for you to be happy. Come on!”

I cleaned my face and forced a smile. I then looked at him. “Sota…promise me that you will make her the happiest woman in the world.”

Sota looked at me completely lost. “Of course I will, I swear it! But…you're supposed to be the happiest woman in the world today.”

I laughed sarcastically as twisted the piece of cloth in my hands. “Sota…can I tell you a secret?”

He nodded as he looked at me.

I gathered my courage. “A few nights ago, Yuki and I were driving past Hojo's after the family gathering at her place. I asked her to drop me off there so I could make a surprise visit. She drove off and I went to his front door.” I did my best to suppress a sob. “But before I got to the door, I saw something move in the window…and it was Hojo…with his clothes off…and that slut he told me he would never see again in college.”

I broke down before my brother and he held me close to him for a moment. “I'll kill him!”

I pulled away and shook my head wildly. “No! No, not in front of everyone like this. No, I'm just going to go through with it. I mean…maybe…maybe it was just a one night thing and she was just drunk…and he was too. I'm sure he regrets it and all…I'll just let it slide.”

Sota shook his head. “Why are you doing this to yourself? You have time.”

“Oh yeah…and disappoint his family and mine and expose him and embarrass him by exposing all of this? I'm not that cruel, Sota.”

Sota snorted in disgust, and shook his head. “Alright…okay have it your way.”

He then looked at me and turned away to head for the door before looking back at me. “You're not one of those stupid girls, Sis…you deserve better than that. So, don't be the stupid girl.”

When he closed the door, I narrowed my brow and thought hard for a moment. “Stupid Girl? Am I stupid for not embarrassing my family?”

I sniffled and growled through my teeth with all the frustration I had in me. I looked at myself in the mirror. “I am not a Stupid Girl!”

`Don't you faint on me, you stupid girl!'

“I am not stupid!” I screamed at the unfamiliar voice that suddenly came to my ears. And then I looked around…discovering that no one was there.

`Who…who said that? I've never heard that voice before…and yet…then again…'

“Kagome! It's almost time!” Yuki called through the door disrupting my thoughts.

I opened the door and my bride's maids vocalized there admiration. “Oh, look at you! Hojo won't be able to keep his hands off you tonight!”

I looked at Yuki. “Yuki, was there a man outside my door just a minute ago?”

She looked at me strangely. “No…not since your brother left and met us at the first step. There was no one else…why?”

I looked down the stairs and outside my window to my room which was closed and locked. Yuki looked at me funny. “You okay? You look like you've been crying?”

“Huh?” I asked once my thoughts were interrupted again. “Oh, it's nothing just some tears of joy!”

Yuki shook her head, and took my hand with a smile. “Come on your mother is waiting for you.”

I nodded with a quiet okay and false excitement, and I didn't think of the strange voice again.

~~~~

(Inu-yasha)

Hanna skipped toward home greeting one of the dogs outside the small family hut just outside the village. We were home.

“Mama? Mama, I found Papa daydreaming again by the river again,” Hanna said as she danced outside the reed flap door.

I snorted and went to grab her and swing her around in the air in circles for picking on me. She giggled and squealed and begged through her bubbly laughs for me to put her on the ground again.

Once her feet met the ground, her laughter was joined by another laugh…one that I knew long before Hanna's. I turned to look over my shoulder and then back, to see her in her faded blue kimono and a green skirt.

“Hanna, you really must stop picking on your father,” she laughed in happiness.

I looked at her as if it had been the first time, and I slowly whispered, “Kikyo…”

She stopped laughing and in that moment of silence looked at me with all the love she had reflecting in her blue eyes.

She then suddenly looked worried as I stared at her, my heart pounding just looking at her. It was as if I hadn't seen her in years.

“Inu-yasha, what is it?” she asked nervously.

I approached her slowly and let my hand touch her face. She looked at me for a moment before smiling. “You look like you've seen a ghost.”

I swallowed hard for a moment. “I feels like it…”

I couldn't understand what I was feeling. It felt like I hadn't seen her in years when I knew I had only just seen her that morning, laying beside me in bed.

I leaned in closer and let her lips touch mine, and then added pressure. Her kiss felt as warm as they always had. Warm and alive…and…

`Can I stay with you?'

I pulled out of the kiss and looked at Kikyo. I then looked around to find where the voice had come from.

“Inu-yasha? What is it?”

I waited a moment and looked in a different direction. “A voice…I thought I heard…someone's voice.”

Kikyo looked around for a second. “I didn't hear anything, did you, Hanna?”

The young girl shrugged her shoulders and shook her head. Kikyo looked at me strangely for a moment and then turned her attention to the cloth bag of food. “Come on, let's go and have out mid-day meal.”

I took the bag from her as she smiled and ran her fingers through my raven black bangs to brush the hair out of my eyes.

~~~~

(Kagome)

Sota came to my side as the procession was about to begin in the next few minutes. I paced back and forth, wondering what was going to happen to me as fear built up in my heart. I felt so alone.

`Kagome...you don't have to do this alone. Kagome...I'm right here with you!'

I heard the voice say again, and I looked around again and saw nothing except Sota come in through the door.

`You've stayed beside me this long. I'm not leaving your side, Kagome. I belong here now. Like you said, I'm not alone anymore.'

I heard it speak again…

“Sis…it's time!”

I looked in a panic at my brother and then around me. “Sota, tell me you heard that voice!”

He looked at me strangely. “What voice?”

“A man's voice! I keep hearing it say things to me. What is it?”

Sota looked at me like I was crazy. He then held my face gently. I looked at him unsure of what he thought of me completely for a moment. “I'm not crazy, Sota! There's someone speaking to me.”

Sota shook his head. “Sis, you need to calm down. Let's just get through this one step at a time. You're not married yet. You can turn back.”

I looked at the door as I watched the first of my maids began her march.

~~~~

(Inu-yasha)

As Kikyo sat and laughed at the two of us playing in the grass, I tossed and tumbled with Hanna, feeling happier than I ever had in my life.

I lifted her up with my arms and watched as she giggled. “Make me fly, Papa! I want to fly!”

I smiled and twirled her around a few times as she squealed in delight. “I'm flying, Papa! I'm flying!”

All of the sudden I stopped and looked at Hanna.

***

(Kitsumi)

I jumped to my feet and grabbed the sleeve of his white nagajugan to begin tugging in excitement. "I want to fly on your back!"

Course it wasn't flying, but at five you don't really care for the technical terms like gliding and leaping.

"Again? But we did that yesterday………and the day after that, and the day before, and the day before that………man you like this riding thing more than your mother did I think," he mumbled incomprehensively in the end.

I climbed up his back and wrapped my little arms around his neck and to steady myself and then when he leaned forward I gripped his vest in my tiny hands. "Please?" I whimpered with the biggest eyes I could give him.

He grinned and rolled his eyes with a smile as he rose to his feet and took hold of my little legs. "Alright, one run through and then we're coming back."

***
(Inu-yasha)

I placed Hanna back on the ground and I fell to my knees, my black locks of hair covering my eyes and I looked at my hands.

“Papa, what's wrong?”

***
(Kitsumi)

“I…I wish…I wish I had a father…I wish you had been my father…” I mumbled as sleep took over my sadness and fell into a dreamless sleep.

***

(Inu-yasha)

I opened my eyes and looked at my daughter and for a moment I saw her hair flash pink and her ears look like that of a dog's.

I gasped as my memories returned to me.

`None of this…is real!'

Hanna looked at me worried as she placed her hand on my shoulder. “Papa?”

I then felt a tear roll from my eye, and without thinking, I embraced her and she froze in my arms. Her scent burned into my memory.

“Papa, what's wrong? Why are you crying?”

I summoned up all the courage I could gather. “Hanna…I need to go away for awhile.”

She relaxed in my arms and rested her head on my shoulder as I felt her begin to want to cry. “Will you come back?”

I held my sobs back as I treasured my last moments with my own daughter. The child I could have had if Kikyo and I had not betrayed each other. The dream I knew that would never come true now.

“I don't think I will ever see you again, Hanna.”

She wept on my shoulder and embraced me. I squeezed her close to me. “I want you to know…that you are all I could have ever asked for in a daughter. I promise…I will never forget you.”

I let her go suddenly and looked to Kikyo as I got to my feet. She rose to her own and stared at me with her blue eyes. “Inu-yasha!”

I grabbed her arms and looked at her. “Where are they?”

She looked at meif sif she didn't understand. I pulled her closer to me. “Where is Kitsumi?”

She then looked at me with an evil glare. “You would rather have that bastard child for a daughter than your own flesh and blood?”

Her eyes glowed red for a moment and the next thing I knew both Hanna and Kikyo had disappeared into mounds of ash at my feet.

I gasped as I looked around me.

`Can I stay beside you?'

The voice called to me again, and I spun around to see an old well behind me.

~~~~

(Kagome)

Here I was marching down the red carpet before my family with Sota at my side and Hojo just with in reaching distance.

He took my hand and we began to enter the temple.

`This is it…there's no turning back now…I've made my choice…'

***

“Don't leave me…promise me…you'll never go away anymore…” he whispered and sniffled as he pulled me closer and sobbed into my hair silently.

***

I gasped and I stopped dead in the middle of the walk way. Everyone turned their heads to look at me.

“Kagome?” Hojo asked.

***

(Inu-yasha)

"What is it?"

I waited until I had the strength to talk again. "I can feel it, just slightly...a heart. I can't feel the heart beating."

Kagome's fingers loosened around my hand, and I wondered if something was wrong. I took hold of her hand and placed it over the same spot, and I shared it with her. She bated her eyes slowly and smiled as she closed them and looked down at the place where our hands covered the tiny heart inside of her.

"It's all so...amazing!" she whispered

***

(Kagome)

The silence of music, and the sound of voices chattering began to get louder and Hojo pulled at my arm and caught my attention. “Kagome, what is it?”

`It's not real…this isn't real!' I thought as images of Kitsumi, Inu-yasha, Miroku, Sango, and everyone else popped into my head with my reality.

I let go of Hojo's hand and took a step back. “This…this isn't real!”

Everyone gasped and watched as I continued to step back farther and farther away from Hojo.

I then shook my head and ran out of the temple and on to the shrine grounds. People were calling my name as I ripped my veil from my head and I dropped my flowers.

I ignored all of them as I ran to the old tree and looked up at it and then to my side where I found the old well shed.

I ran and pushed open the creaky door and ran down to the well that was sealed. I tried to open the cover, and then with all my aggregation I began pulling at the seal.

`Open up…I need to get back…I need to get back to Kitsumi…I need to get back to my friends and the villagers…I need…I need to see…'

“INU-YASHA!”

Suddenly the well burst open and I feel through, falling into the odd abyss and suddenly found myself in on the ground but still caught between both times and worlds.

I cried as tears rolled down my face. “Please…please let me be with you?”

“Kagome?” I heard a voice say, and I gasped as I looked up to see him.

There was Inu-yasha, human and in peasant attire, but it was him. He held out his hand for me, and I grabbed it. I got to my feet and we both looked at each other for a moment before I threw myself into his arms.

A moment later his arms pulled me close to him and I felt all the pain go away as we both fell to our knees in the dirt and with a loud oof!

*****

(Inu-yasha)

I opened my eyes after the pain in my hip from the fall sub sided and I found Kagome, the real one in my arms. She slowly opened her eyes as well and looked at me as her face began to turn red.

“Inu-yasha! What…what happened?”

“I…was it a dream?”

A loud roar groaned from above us and we lifted our heads in the dirt to see the demon tree sway. I pulled us both to our feet and pulled Kagome behind me. I reached to grip Tetsuseiga and pulled it out of its sheath.

“Great, some wood for a decent fire tonight!”

The tree growled, “Half-demon! You and that mortal defy my power? You could have feed me with your dreams of lost desires, but you have somehow managed to break free.”

Kagome's hand gripped my shoulder as we looked on wondering what the old tree was talking about. “Dreams of lost desires?”

It laughed at us. “You, mortal woman, wished to know what your life would have been if you had remained in your time. Though your dream was dismal, your misery fed me well for a time.”

I looked at the tree and glared. “Don't you ever make Kagome miserable…not while I'm here!”

The tree grinned evilly. “She would have fed a forest if you had not come out for you desire. You long to correct your painful past. Your love for that mortal woman who you…ARRRGG!”

The demon tree cried out and then shrilled, as four black fizzing scars drove themselves deeper and deepnto nto its side. It turned and shivered with fear.

I spun my head around to find Kitsumi in the trees not far holding her arm. “KITSUMI!”

The tree growled, “And this one…the little pup with her own nightmares. You have but one desire that will lead to the conclusion you saw.”

Kitsumi fell to her knees and Kagome ran over to her. I gripped my sword and growled, “Enough! You've spoken your last demon tree. WIND SCAR!”

With one stroke the tree split and cracked down the middle and blew up into piece of wood.

I ran to Kagome's side as she tried to sooth Kitsumi. “Kitsumi?” I asked as I watched her tiny silver eyes as they seemed to be clouded over with fear and disbelief.

“Kitsumi?” Kagome asked, and we jumped at the sounds of pods that held everyone in their dreams or fears fall and crack open. Everyone groaned as they sat up and asked questions to each other.

“No…” I small voice said

I turned to look at Kitsumi, and Kagome looked at her as well. “No…don't do it! I can't stop it! I can't stop myself…No…I won't let you! No! NO!”

I took hold of Kitsumi's arms and shook her, “Kitsumi! Squirt! Snap out of it!”

Her eyes closed for a moment and she opened them again, once more full of life, but also full of tears.

“Inu-yasha? Inu-yasha, is it you?”

I raised one eyebrow. “Squirt?”

She fell into my arms and wept. “It was a dream…it was all just a horrible dream…”

Kitsumi wept bitterly in my lap and I held her. I looked at Kagome as her hand soothed her back.

“I'm hear now…I'm here, Kit…I promise you…I'll always be here.”

~~~~

(Kagome)

“What did you see?” Sango asked Miroku as they sat alone together by their own small fire.

Miroku raised his right hand and looked at the rosary around it. “The same nightmare I have every night,”

“You dreamed of your curse taking your life?”

Miroku shook his head and embraced her. “What my life would have been like if I didn't have this curse in my hand…and in whose arms you would be in today.”

Sango curled up close to him. “There is a reason for everything…having my brother and family back was mine…but I also saw you with children of your own and a different woman in your arms.”

Miroku held her a little closer, “Those days are behind us now, and we're together.”

Sango snorted with some humor. “Yeah sure…don't deny it! I still see you looking over the youomenomen of this village once in awhile.”

Miroku sighed and shook his head. “Still…there has been only one woman in my life who has given me what I've asked for in life, even if Nara--”

“Shh…don't speak that name here. Just let me be happy with you and not think about him for now.”

I watched them both from a far with my blanket wrapped over my shoulders. I was silent and made no reaction to everything that was happening in the short distance before me.

I suddenly felt a warm hand on my shoulder, and I jumped to see Tai at my side. “My lady…I'm sorry, I did not mean to startle you.”

I turned to face him and leaned against the tree. “No, I was just surprised that's all.”

Tai looked at me and then looked at Miroku and Sango. “I didn't think monks could have wives.”

I smiled, “Miroku is not your average monk.”

Tai looked at me and wrapped the blanket around me a little tighter. “Keep warm, Milady. To catch a cold on this journey would not be wise.”

He looked into my eyes with a soft smile that shook me a little. I gripped my blanket a little more as I looked at him for a moment.

`I can't move…I can't understand it. It's like I'm scarred, but I know we can trust him.'

Suddenly, Tai pressed a kiss to my forehead, it was strange and awkward. It was warm, too.

Tai looked at me and stepped back. “I'm sorry…I've crossed a line. I ask for your utmost respect, Milady.”

I still to this day do not know what compelled me to say those next few words. “Please, just call me Kagome like everyone else.”

Tai smiled and bowed his head. “Kagome it is then,” he said, and with one last look walked away.

I touched my forehead for a moment and then looked at my fingers.

“Damn Samurai…who does he think he is?”

I turned to my side with a jump at the sound of his voice. “Inu-yasha!”

He took two steps toward the path Tai walked down. “It's like watching Kouga, only with more manners.”

I stood up, “We were only talking.”

He looked at me and glared, “Only talking! The jerk just kissed you. And you…you were flirting with him too.”

I narrowed my brow and stomped off. Inu-yasha looked at me and grabbed my arm.

“Hey, I'm talking to you!”

I gasped and looked at him. “Let go of me!”

“What's going on between you and Tai?”

I tried to pry his fingers from my arm. “You're hurting me!”

“Tell me!” he demanded.

I glared at him. “Why should I tell you? You don't own me.”

His ear twitched and his face softened to shock, hurt by my words. He narrowed his brow. “Why did you let him do that? Why will you let him come so close to you like that? Why?”

Inu-yasha had forgotten about his grip on my arm and I pulled free. His face showed his surprise once again, and he grunted when he realized I had slipped away from him again…in more ways than one.

“You saw Kikyo in your dream. It was a good one too, wasn't it? A life with Kikyo as your wife and a child of your own. Am I right?”

He didn't answer me, and tears formed in my eyes. “After all…she's probably the only one good enough to have children with now. At least she doesn't all ready come with a child.”

He glared at me, “You were the one who made that choice. You're the one who didn't want Kitsumi to have me in her life.”

I looked at him and glared. “I'm free to be with whomever I want to, Inu-yasha. At least I still have that choice.”

He looked at me, but not with anger in his eyes. He was lost, confused, and somehow the look in his eye made him look so terribly alone.

He had tears in those eyes and his face came so close to mine, and his hand touched my face. “Then why…why haven't you made it yet?”

I felt my face soften and the tears I was holding back fell from my eyes and stopped at his thumb that was still stroking my cheek.

“Why? Kagome…an army of demons can't keep me from you, then why…why is it that the only thing left is this wall between us? Why won't you tell me?”

I closed my eyes and fought back the urge to say and do everything I wanted to do at that moment, but Inu-yasha…his scent, his touch, the feel of his breath so dangerously close to my lips that made them beg to touch his again, and the fading memory of the way his mouth tasted now coming back to me. The memories of his arms around me, his hands on my pregnant belly and the invisible trails he left behind from his touch.

Somehow, all of these small memories and needs came flooding back to me in that one moment.

“Inu-yasha…please, stop!” I said with all my strength to hide the begging in my voice.

I looknto nto his eyes and saw all of his frustration and need. He was fighting back something, too. Something he probably was trying to hold back for a long as he could at that moment, and now was trying to fight it back down completely. He looked like he was in pain…even more pain than he had been when he was injured in battles.

`Could he…really…be…No…he loves Kikyo, and I know that now. We can never be together. He wants her.'

“I'll hold to my promise still” he said, as though he was in pain. “I won't lie to you, Kagome. I won't tell you that I didn't see Kikyo in my dream.”

I closed my eyes and looked away from him. But he grabbed my chin and made me look at him.

“But I swore that I'd never leave you. I won't run from any foe, not without you…and not without Kitsumi.”

His clawed finger dried my eyes. “I won't let you…live with just a memory…and I won't live a life on what could have been.”

I fought back more tears. “You already are living that life.”

He smirked and his bowed his head to hide his eyes with his bangs. “A life of dreaming of being with Kikyo and my own child…or a life of dreaming…of being warm in your arms?”

~~~~

Well there you go! I hope you like the fact that it was long. I really had to handle big time writter's block with this one. So I hope you all like it.

See you soon!

SDR/IK