InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ A Look ❯ A Look ( Chapter 1 )

Okay, so I'm procrastinating on my other stories…

My new story, not sure if it should be a one shot or not.

Disclaimer: As always, I don't own the Inugumi. The idea isn't exactly mine, I got it off of some other story that I read. Only it was slightly different. I pretty sure I didn't copy any of it, and if I really did, it was purely accidental. So, who ever you are out there, and whatever story it was, I give you the credit for coming up with the original (I think) ideal.

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A Look

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When she looked into a mirror, she saw herself. When he had looked into her, he saw "her."

And she was tired, she was so tired of trying to be what everyone believed her to be. Would they just let go, and allow her to be one's self. It had gotten to the point to where she felt faithless, like she was lost under the surface.

By chance, whenever she would see "her," she didn't know what it was "she" expected of her. The pressure she felt weighting her down from trying to walk in "her" shoes. Even without being in her shoes, she knew that every step she took was another mistake to "her."

It was hard to sleep some nights. Just laying here, remembering the day he came and crushed the silent peace she had found with him. Times like this, she felt numb. Devoid of emotions that helped to calm the inner fire that flared to life at times.

Oh, but she couldn't even feel his demon air anymore. As if he had finally, truly, left her, and moved on to grander things. She was tired of this and wanted to know when it would end.

As she had weathered him, as she had gone though all times good and bad with him, she believed she had became more aware of what would never be. A stake in her heart, it left her pinned to the past. To bare the fact that once she opened her eyes, he wouldn't be there to greet her anymore, was more than she could bear.

Reaching over and grabbing her bow and lifting an arrow to it, she quickly lined her target and let it fly…

And it missed…

But after a couple more tries, she would be as good as "her". But in the eyes of those around her, would they see her as herself, or would she look more like "her" than ever?

Why couldn't she be herself, why couldn't she do what she wanted to do?

"All I want to do is be more like me and be less like you."

Yes, he had smothered her, with his constant pushing of her to greater heights. While he sat, hopelessly waiting for the day when he would have to choose between them. She loved him though, and she would wait. She would always wait if that was the way that fate was ordained to be. And she would have stood by him, always by him. As "she" was his past, then she could only pray to be the future. For surely the present was not looking to well for either of them.

It was no secret, their grand adventure may have ended for not. They might have failed, she might have caused it. The walls came crumbling down around them when chance happened to be against them. But the twisted truth she knew, was that "she" had disappointed others as well.

"And so I ask, is everything what you wanted me to be?"

And maybe, just maybe, it was all correct, and tomorrow life would be a fairy tale again.

* ~ * ~ * ~ *

His thoughts were all a jumble, and he couldn't help the nagging feeling that he should be guilty for something. What, he wasn't quite sure about. But it was there, tearing at his thoughts, begging to be known.

He knew one reason why guilt would pay him a visit. He hurt her, he knew that. And he was hurting her slowly. This thing, he knew surely.

Her feelings confused him though, he didn't know what to make of the situation. He cared, and he knew she cared, but "what ifs" filled his every waking hour. Just knowing that it could have been different, that if he hadn't been so slow, such things could have been avoided.

The way her smile brightened the day, the way her presence could make everything seem worthwhile. That was the thing he loved most about her. But he was torn. Torn between the past and the future, between duty and love, between life and death. Tearing at him so much to make him feel at a loss, as though he was numb to all the life around him.

In a way, it kind of made him a little mad, a little irate. What was the cause of the sorrow that seemed to follow him. Was it her, was it him, was it both of them, or was it simply that even after all the time they had all spent together, he just couldn't bring himself to trust. Maybe it was the trust factor…

The time had passed, and still he was the same. He had sat silent as he watched everyone change, for better or worse. But yes, he had stayed the same. Just like fire, unable to adapt the ones surroundings. In a sense, stuck in ones own selfishness. And he believed that was the cause of his falling. He had left them all hanging in a void of sorts, he had stopped relating, if in fact he ever had.

"I'm so alone, empty and lost, it's easier to let you go."

Those were his magical words. He repeated them over and over, hoping that would make it all right again. But as the truth was, it never helped. The people that should be smiling with him weren't, the people that should have been with him weren't there.

"Time will erode the same and the fault, it's easier to let you go…"

He couldn't feel anymore because he was deadly lost, his companions were gone. And nothing he believed could bring back their smiles.

He could still see the light behind her eyes die as he told her he would leave. How devoid of life she seemed to become. He wondered briefly if she would replace him with someone else in her heart.

But maybe, just maybe, the guilt behind the mask could some day be forgiven.

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Eyes that had seen far more things than most, looked out across the desolate land. Taking in the new blood that had recently joined the earth. Soaking, revitalizing, cleansing everything and more.

Yes, he had learned at an early age to follow rules set before him. If he didn't, constant pain would plague him, and lead him into disgrace. It would force him to dishonor his family's memory.

With time, he had grown accustomed to the life he knew that would one day take its toll. He didn't deny it, couldn't deny it, the proof was set before him in stone. It almost comforted him, that through all his many struggles, his one constant in life would never leave.

"A vow onto my own, that never from this day my will he'll take away." His resolve never wavered as he looked upon the new forms of life sprouting from the land.

He could feel his life turning bitter as throughout the same, he'd battled constantly. But why? Why was he doomed to forever live a fight he couldn't win?

He knew, that if he was lucky and managed to be an old man, he would die regretfully…

"So I dub thee unforgiving."

Or maybe, just maybe, he was labeled, and he could label some one else too.

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The sweet sound of laughter had once filled her ears, and the sight of children skipping around had once lit her days. But times had changed, as surely they were meant to. Causing those around her to lose that majestic spark of happiness.

Though she knew that fate was ordained to play out like this, she couldn't help but wonder if anything could have turned out any different. Rearrange the feelings of lost comforts, and no longer be surrounded by loneliness.

To be dead, and alive at the same time, she couldn't imagine the horrors that likely drove his life onward.

"I can't go on without you." And as surely as that, she knew the words were not falsely spoken. For surely, he was all she had left. The one that kept her hoping, the one that she would forever stand by.

Even now, after so long, she could remember what it was like to look into his eyes. Eyes that told of an intermeshed peace and tragedy. But she knew, yes she knew, that in his pain soaked misery, he had been fighting everyday.

To the cause of worry, and the debt of goodbye's, she promised to make what was amiss, feel right again.

Her dark eyes looked out at her make shift camp, wondering what had caused her to become this way. There was a time when she was happy, a time when her problems seemed almost pettish. But that time was gone, and she couldn't afford to dwell on the past.

"But, I had so much left to say." That was the way things were… She never told him the joy he brought to her life. And now, she never would.

She had worked so hard to build the steps to a new life. And she was finally through. She had created a new life, one she could almost be content to live.

"He lives through you.." It came out more of a whisper than anything, with desperateness laced with sorrow.

No matter how hard she tried to shake it, the feeling of loneliness clung to her. Clutching despair to anger the lives that would be.

She prayed for him still, knowing that if she prayed long enough and hard enough he would hear her, and know that he was still loved. Wherever he was, she just hoped he would never forget his true home, and the people he belonged to.

"I can't believe you're gone…"

Yet maybe, just maybe, the memory would remain, and shed light to darkened eyes.

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Thank you people for reading this. Let me know if I should write a story telling about what it was that brought such things upon them. And if you can't figure it out, it goes Kagome, then Inuyasha, then Miroku, and then Sango. Cant tell you who their all talking about though. Bwahahahaha! Everyone but Sango should be relatively easy to figure out, but Sango's isn't who you would expect. Teehee.

Review please!

Ja ne

inca