InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ A Love Found After Centuries: Part 2 ❯ Chapter 4 ( Chapter 4 )

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Warning…

This chapter is sad and depressing.

Chapter 4

by: Inumaru_Rapture

Water was in my lungs as I felt the water dripping off me. Dirt smeared across my face as I was dropped, jarring the water from my lungs. I rose, putting my arm on the dirt to raise my torso off the ground as I coughed the river out of my body. My mind was speeding off to what had happened. `Kagome!' my mind cried out. The scent of her was no where around, I couldn't hear her breath.

"Where is…" Coughs racked my body as I trembled to ask the question. "…Kagome?" I didn't care to hide anything. I just wanted to find my mate… `Why isn't she here with the humans? Did she get hurt? Did this bastard hurt her?!' There was no answer, so I raised my head and glared at their mournful faces. `He did hurt her!'

"Where is she?!" I demanded, I could feel my cold mask crack as I looked to the pregnant exterminator. Her face was pale, tears in her eyes. The monk next to her cleared his throat.

"She left…" His voice answered for the mute woman. "She thought Inuyasha had killed you…" His voice cracked.

I couldn't stop the unhinging of my jaw as the sudden pain crept back into my heart and stabbed at it relentlessly. With more strength than I thought I had, I sprang from the ground and ran for the well.

`My love…I'm alive…Still be here!' I sniffed, listening….I could smell her pain, her adrenaline, the smell of her body enforcing the labor of the twins. `No! No no! I was going to go back to your time! I was going to be there to give you strength when our pups were born! Beloved!'

The well was within sight now, and with an effortless leap, I was falling down into it. I landed at the bottom and looked up, hoping to see the rooftop of the well house that covered the well in her time. The same night sky greeted me. My heart stopped beating. `No.' I tried to jump again, but nothing happened.

Desperate, I fell to my knees and started to dig with my claws, hoping that somehow I could reach her. I couldn't stop the words as they fled from my lips, or the growl that weld in side my chest, or the tears that stung at my eyes.

"Kagome! No! I'm alive! Come home to me!"

I felt a deep tremor run through me. My heart broke in my chest… my spirit died slowly. I could almost hear her crying… I could almost smell her tears. I could almost be there… A choked sob escaped my tight throat as I fell back into the dirt, my back hitting the wooden wall. I've never felt so much pain as I did right now… not even when my mother passed… this was worse by 10 fold. I've never felt like I did now… like my heart and soul had both been ripped from my body with frozen fire and replaced with shattered glass.

I felt weak. I felt empty. I felt dead.

Wetness leapt from my eyes as I lowered my head and let a few tears slide down my cheeks. My ears twitched as the humans and that damned hanyou arrived. My hands smeared the tears from my cheeks, dirt covering their marks.

The woman's voice reached my ears. "She sealed the well… the only way for us to get through is if she unlocks it…" I let out a curse, hitting the dirt with a weak fist.

`Beloved…I'm alive…Please…please please come home to me…' My mind and lips said the words, but my throat did not unclench for the sound to escape.

Inuyasha's booming swear echoed into the well. I listened half-hearted, until he mentioned Kagome. Anger fumed inside me as I launched myself from the well and grabbed the hanyou up by his scrawny neck. My voice was alien to me as it dripped with such murderous venom, I thought he would soil himself.

My thoughts returned to the smell of her enforced labor as I dropped the creature in my hand. My pups! I would never see my pups! The little versions of myself and Kagome's love making turning into two perfect forms. I will never be able to hold their newborn bodies… my deepest darkest wish died in what was left of my soul…I would never be able to be the father I'd been hoping to be for so long.

This bastard of a creature had single-handedly taken Kagome from me… beaten me into the deepest, darkest depression I've ever been in. He had won over me… he broke my heart, broke my soul…..

I wanted to leave.

I wanted to cry.

I wanted to find Rin and just live in darkness.

Nothing mattered now.

I don't have Kagome…I won't have her again…

~* *~

I sat in my study, eyes blank, face within its cold mask. It has been three years. Three of the longest years I've ever lived in my life. She is never coming back to me…

Rin was in the corner, reading silently. The day her Lord Sesshoumaru had returned home was the last day he saw her smile. She had taken a mundane voice and wore tears in her eyes for the first year, went mute for the second, and frozen completely through and through during the last year. Jaken had tried his hardest to bring the sunshine into the poor girl's eyes, but nothing he did worked.

I had neglected my responsibilities; the western lands had been under snow, ice, and had not seen the sun for three years. Rival youkai had tried numerous times to take the land, but had yet to succeed.

Yohaka of the North had called for a meeting of the youkai lords and ladies, and were to arrive the day of the three year anniversary. Needless to say, they were not greeted by Me, the Western Lord, but by my icy ward. From the years wandering the halls of the cold palace long into the night, Rin had become almost ice-pale. The ladies were a bit frightened of this human corpse looking child.

The servants who weren't as loyal to me had fled during the first month that I had been in my depression. The only 4 remaining were Jaken, Yumi, the rabbit youkai, her daughter, Yakima, and Kohanyi, the neko youkai. The servants tried their best to make the youkai lords and ladies as comfortable as possible, but in an ice palace, that was always difficult. They assured the lords and ladies that I, the Western Lord, would accompany their groupings the next day… if I would yet, I did not know.

Lady Iiekna, daughter of Lord Oneganna of the rat youkai in the south, went in search of me. She has been after me as her mate for longer than I could remember, but nothing about her had ever pleased me. She was as disgusting as her fat, idiotic father. So instead of finding me, she met with my spirit guardian, a tiger youkai spirit named Ra. He forbade her entrance to my side of the palace and almost took an arm off her for trying to sneak by. Normally, this would have at least brightened my day… but I merely put it aside when Jaken came to tell me the news.

I had sat in the same chair for three days. My legs had gone completely numb so long ago, I couldn't remember. I stood, not feeling the tingling in my legs as I leaned on the desk so I would not fall. My legs weren't even there. I couldn't remember the last time I ate… I couldn't remember the last time I had the urge to eat. I walked on slow, stiff, thin legs… I had lost so much muscle mass… and I was sure I was going to die soon… not that my spirit and heart and mind had already.

Moving to the window, I could almost hear the rain as it pounded out the snow outside. I could almost feel the numb pain in my heart as I moved my arms to reach around myself, crossing over my chest as if I held onto Kagome from behind… her name… I can remember her name…but I can not remember her face. I can not hear her voice. I can not smell her unique, goddess-like smell. I can not feel the silk of her skin on my memory. I've forgotten it all… What color are her eyes? How long was her hair?

I could feel the skin under my eyes sag as my body wanted to cry, but my body held no more water in which to use as tears.

Anger rose… -I think it was anger…- in my chest as I growled, shaking my vocal cords into use for the first time in weeks.

Rin looked at me for the first time in months… her eyes held the same sadness I've seen there for so long, I couldn't remember the last time there wasn't sadness there… the happiness in her voice of the simple laughter as she cried my name and latched onto my leg.

Silently, I turned and returned to my chair, sinking into the painful position. My body begged for exercise, but I had no heart to hear it.

Laying my head back on the rim of the chair, shutting my eyes, I fell into yet another nightmare of Kagome. I could almost see her. I could almost hear her. I could almost touch her. I could almost smell her. I could almost taste her… and then… she was so far away. The dull hum of her voice like a bug in my brain.

I woke with a screaming roar that shook the room.

`Why in the Seven Hells can't I remember her face?!'

-End chapter-

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