InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ A Love That Transcends Time ❯ ~*~Reason For Breathing~*~ ( Chapter 2 )

~*~Chapter 2-Reason For Breathing~*~

It's been over 2 weeks after that incident. The dreams just kept on coming every night. Now the hanyou and the miko are not on speaking terms with each other. The others are at loss to what they should do to break the tension between them. Kagome became desolated and is always lost in her own thoughts. Not even Sango could pry whatever it is that's going on inside her head. She rarely talks to anyone now, and her smile is always touched with sadness. Meanwhile, Inuyasha is not acting himself. He withdrew from his companions, retreating more and more each day into unyielding indifference. Even when Shippo does something to annoy him, he doesn't react the way he did before. He would just look at the kitsune as though nothing untoward happened, and then just walk away from them. This worries them even more…they were losing both of them…

~Inuyasha's POV~

Gods, the pain that I felt when I heard her say those things to me. After the tender moment we had, I thought things were now going on track. But I was so wrong…

"I am not yours! Therefore, I am NOT your responsibility. I am responsible for myself, and I do not belong to anyone else but ME. Do not make promises you and I both know you can't keep. You don't even love me, so you don't have to feel obligated towards me. You love her, and therefore you belong with each other. You're HERS, Inuyasha. Bound to her by your own words. And after we defeat Naraku, go to Hell with Kikyou for all I care! Just don't play with me and let me hope for something that just isn't there or is not just going to happen!"

Her words still resounded in my head. I never expected her to reject me and my promises. This was Kagome…beautiful, funny, enchanting Kagome who loved him with all her heart. The one woman who accepted him for who he really was, and the one who was always there by his side no matter what happens. But now…what have I done to change her mind? Now she was more than willing to give me up to Kikyou. This never occurred before. It was as if she's losing her love for me. Oh Gods, no! Please…not that. I know that I shouldn't blame her; after all it is my entire fault. The things she said were the truth…the ugly truth that if only I could, I would change it. I would take back my oath from Kikyou, and give them to the one woman whom I love not just with all my heart, but with my entire being. She became the very cause of my happiness, my contentment. My sole reason for breathing. I know it's so unfair. I love her yet I can never tell her how I feel. My words were given first to a woman who is all but a shadow of the love I once knew. So I try to show her instead. But now, it's no use. She's all but lost to me…

The hanyou fought back the tears that were threatening to fall. He already had enough of crying; he finished that after he left Kagome in camp and howled to the moon to his content.

I can't help but worry about her dreams too. It's like ever since she had those nightmares, she's been slowly changing right before my eyes. And now this… I don't know how to help her; she won't tell me anything anymore. Heck, she won't even speak to me! It's so goddamned frustrating, seeing her like this. And I think it's all my fault. Fuck! What the hell am I gonna do!?

~Kagome's POV~

Two weeks had passed…2 weeks after the time I heard Inuyasha's heartbreaking howl.

~Flashback~

I stood there at my sleeping bag, looking straight at his retreating back. I still can't believe I said all those cruel things to him…yet what's the use of regretting it. Maybe it's for the best anyway.

"Kagome? What happened? We heard you shouting. Where's Inuyasha?" Sango asked sleepily.

She snapped back to reality when she heard Sango's voice. She turned around and saw Miroku and Sango rising up from their pallets. Luckily, Shippo slept through the whole ordeal.

"It was nothing, Sango. Gomen if I woke you and Miroku-sama up because of my shouting. Inuyasha and I just had a little disagreement. You can go back to sleep now, oyasumi nasai."

"If you say so, Kagome-sama," the houshi said. But Sango still stood up, her eyes worried.

"Are you okay, Kagome-chan?" Sango asked. "I'm okay, Sango-chan. Don't worry about me or Inuyasha. He just went for a walk, that's all. Sleep now," I said. That's when it happened.

I was about to lie back down on my sleeping bag, when I heard that heartbreaking cry. I knew it was him. Sango and Miroku quickly stood up, eyes alert to danger; they thought it was another youkai. "Kagome-chan! Get here, quickly! I think it's another youkai. Blast it, where's Inuyasha when you need him?!" Sango said, as she poised her hiraikotsu for an attack. I slowly shook my head, as I stood up and headed towards the direction the howl was coming from. "What are you doing, Kagome-chan!? That youkai's gonna kill you!" Sango screamed as she tried to stop me from leaving. Then the houshi surprised me. He held Sango back while he nodded for me to continue. I look back at them, and realized that I had been crying all this time. The agony in the voice called out to me. I ran before they can change their mind and stop me.

"Why did you let her leave, houshi? Have you no sense at all or just plain stupid? The youkai will kill Kagome-chan before we or Inuyasha could get to her! We have to follow her now!" Sango was totally freaking out. "My dear Sango, Kagome-sama will not be harmed. This I am sure," Miroku calmly replied while still holding her in his arms. "What the hell are you talking about? Are you deaf? Didn't you hear that blood-curling cry? It's a youkai!" "Of course, I heard it. And I am also sure that it's a youkai-oh not really. It's a hanyou," the houshi said. At this, Sango stopped struggling to look at the houshi as though he lost his mind. "You mean THAT's Inuyasha?!" she asked incredulously. "Yes, it certainly is him," Miroku replied. "But how can you be sure? And please do get your hands off me right this minute before I throw this at your head," she said threateningly. Miroku quickly drew his hands back away from her and stepped away. That hiraikotsu really hurts like the devil. "Oh I'm sorry, my dear Sango. It just felt so good feeling your curves against me that I forgot-" before he could continue, the said boomerang came crashing hard on his skull. "Hentai!" Sango said heatedly. `My fair Sango can really hit,' Miroku groggily thought. "Now tell me what you meant earlier, houshi!" Miroku slowly picked himself up from the ground to a sitting position. "Yes, I am positive that that is Inuyasha himself. As to how I knew, you did get a good look at Kagome-sama's face before she left didn't you?" As the monk said this, Sango remembered Kagome's face: tears streaming down with agony imprinted in it.

`Oh Kagome-chan,' Sango thought sadly. "But what is wrong with them? They argue all the time, but this…" The monk said nothing, as they were both puzzled with this sudden turn of events.

Meanwhile, I was running, trying to find Inuyasha. How my heart ached for him. I know I was the cause of his grief. `Forgive me, Inuyasha. Had I known how deeply you would be hurt by what I've said, I never would have said it,' she thought sorrowfully, tears still streaming down her face. And then she saw him, facing a tree. His claws were extended, digging to the sides of the tree deeply. She can hear the sound vibrating from his chest. Then as he released another painful howl, he continually swiped at the tree until it fell from the blows. I clasped my hands over my mouth to stop myself from crying out to him. I can feel his pain; it was as if his heart was calling out to me to comfort him. I shook my head, leaning against a tree to hide myself from him. I had to bite on my lower lip for him not to hear my sobs. After a while, silence reigned in the forest. When I pushed myself from the tree, I saw him on his knees, crying…

~End Flashback~

After I saw that, I felt ashamed of myself for making him cry. It was never my intention to hurt him; I just thought I had to say the truth aloud. And now it has come to this…

I came back to camp, finding Sango and Miroku already sleeping. I guess they finally figured out it was Inuyasha. I just hope they wouldn't mention it to him…or the fact that I followed him. I lay back down, still crying, trying to think things through. And so here I am, still haunted by the dreams, preferring to be left with my own thoughts than speak to anybody…especially Inuyasha. I just couldn't seem to find the strength or the courage to face him after what I did to him. I love him with all my heart, and I just can't bear the thought that I was the one to bring him to his knees, after I promised myself that I would never be the one to cause him pain. So I chose to ignore him, not even meeting his eyes. I hoped that eventually this will pass and we'll go back to how we were…but I know its wishful thinking. Until the dreams I'm having can be uncovered, I cannot rest. I will continue to go on as I am now. And as for me and Inuyasha, I don't know anymore. It seems that my resolve is being tested once again, and I don't know if this time it will withstand the circumstances. But oh, how I miss my hanyou…