InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ A Matter of Trust ❯ Glittering Breakdown ( Chapter 10 )

A Matter of Trust

By: TuxedoUranus89/InitialA

Disclaimer: I don't own InuYasha, or any other things mentioned in this story that would cost me much money I don't have if it was implied that I did!

LiveJournal Community: http://community.livejournal.com/tu89_ia_fanfics/

Author's Note: There's really nothing to say except I love the onslaught of reviews in my inbox the morning after, and I hope you guys like this chapter! AWAAAAAAAAAAY!

 

Kagome stirred her lemonade casually, watching the glittering crowd with vague interest. It startled her at first, to see so many youkai and hanyou at once, but she was growing used to the sight. Most startling were the giraffe-youkai, standing at least a foot over the rest of the crowd; their necks weren't as long as their beast counterparts, only a few inches longer than a human's, but their legs made up for height. She was even getting used to the shocking pink hairstyles from the few flamingo-youkai. She heard a cough, and turned to see Dr. Kiyomura walking towards her. “You look bored, Kagome.” She commented, taking a seat across the table.

The raven-haired woman shrugged. “It's not my party, and I really don't know anyone here.”

She looked over the doctor as she took a sip from her glass. Her skin was darker, some shade of copper without the concealment spell, and there was a thin white stripe on her face, from forehead to chin, with a splash of white on her forehead. Her hair was styled to one side, with pieces falling across her forehead and face. “I'm going to take a guess, so don't be offended if I get it wrong… Horse-youkai?”

Dr. Kiyomura smiled. “Very good. Most can't guess that from my markings alone. They have to wait until I swish the tail before cluing in.”

Kagome smiled back. “There were a lot of horses in the village InuYasha and I met in. I picked up a few things from the farmers. So, how do you know Sesshou-maru?” She asked, changing the subject.

The other woman looked back to the crowd. “I actually don't know the Lord so much as the Lady. Rin and I met a few decades ago at a fundraiser my practice was asked to sponsor. We keep in touch, meet at social functions, the like. Her mate I've only spoken to a few times, very intimidating man. She won't hear a word against him though, insists he had the kindest heart under the icy exterior.”

Kagome too looked towards the dais where the youkai in question sat, looking bored. “He has his moments. Rin is the result of one of them, he saved her from death when she was a child, and practically raised her.”

Dr. Kiyomura eyed her with interest. “I must admit, I'm curious how you and your own mate met. He said the circumstances were odd ones.”

The other woman fought the urge to sigh. “Odd doesn't begin to describe them… If you've got some time to spare, I can tell you.”

The doctor nodded agreeably, and she took them back to the very beginning. Dr. Kiyomura was apparently an experienced audience member, gasping or laughing in all the right places. Kagome was just finishing the details of InuYasha's proposal to her last fall, when she felt a tap on the shoulder. “Kagome-sama, pardon my interruption of your story.” A woman began, and Kagome smiled.

“It's alright, I was just finishing. Can I help you?”

The woman had a mischievous glint in her honey-colored eyes. “Don't tell me Kagome-sama has forgotten me?”

Dr. Kiyomura stepped in. “Rin, it's lovely to see you. Yet another successful party to add to the scrapbooks?”

She waved a hand at the glittering crowd. Rin smiled. “Actually, InuYasha-niisan did most of the work. Sesshy would have discovered it if I did more than hand InuYasha-niisan a list of places to cover the works.”

Rin turned her attention back to Kagome. “So, he really did find you.” She commented with a small smile.

The other woman nodded. Rin helped her to her feet. “Well, since you and I both know he's being the world's biggest prick at the moment, I've left him with my mate for a few minutes. I'm afraid I must insist you need to greet Sesshy as well, he'll be pleased to see you.”

Kagome stared in wonder. “He will?”

The smaller woman nodded cheerfully. “He did always say it was regretful you two were separated like you were, you made InuYasha-niisan so happy. You know coming from Sesshy that's a big compliment.” The raven-haired woman didn't say anything, but followed her towards the dais.

As they were making their way through the crowd, InuYasha and Sesshou-maru were arguing. “Goddammit, Sesshou-maru, you know what your woman is like. If I could have gotten out of this, you know I would have, I hate parties more than you!” The younger brother snarled.

His elder was calm; in the last few hundred years, he'd taken up his late father's hairstyle, the long horsetail, and strengthened his resemblance to the late lord. “Nonetheless… I'm reassigning the American clients to you.”

InuYasha gaped. “You asshole, I already have half of Europe, you want me to tack on the American dickheads too? Take the whole thing up with Rin, if you're pissed off about it, don't dump me with more work than I can keep up with already!”

Sesshou-maru's cool retort was cut off by the arrival of their mates. “Sesshy, look who I found!” Rin sang out cheerfully.

Kagome stumbled up behind her, and blushed. She had been getting more and more clumsy as of late. “Hello Sesshou-maru.” She said quietly, bowing her head submissively.

InuYasha growled to himself, watching his mate submit to his brother while she continued to deny him. Sesshou-maru allowed himself a moment of surprise before regaining his usual calm. “The miko… InuYasha, I notice you failed to mention this…”

The younger brother grumbled. “Rin knew…”

She looked indifferent. “I did, but it doesn't make any difference. You should have told him yourself.”

He growled. “You're supposed to be on my side…”

She beamed. “I'm on no one's side. Sesshou-maru should have guessed.”

Kagome had started to ebb away. Sesshou-maru's voice stopped her. “You are with pup, miko. I confess some puzzlement.”

She turned pink, matching her dress; mostly from being singled out, but also from keeping in laughter: Sesshou-maru was rarely found confused. “Well…” She paused, not really sure how to explain.

InuYasha snorted. “Keh. The well got sealed when she was in this time, after we mated. The pup's mine.” He explained shortly.

Sesshou-maru raised an eyebrow. “I was not certain that my half-brother's tale of this time portal in the Bone-Eater's Well was true.”

Kagome looked up at him, meeting his amber eyes; her heart skipped a beat at their color, forgetting they weren't her own mate's. “It's true. I used it to travel back and forth between the Sengoku Jidai and now for three years until it sealed itself.” She stressed the last two words and directed a glare towards InuYasha, who ignored her.

Sesshou-maru did not fail to notice the brief expression of longing that had crossed her face, nor the fact that his brother and the miko failed to acknowledge each other properly. “InuYasha, I desire refreshment. Bring something for the four of us.” He ordered.

His brother glared at him. “Why the fuck should I? Snap your fingers or something, call over a waiter.” He snapped, ignoring Rin's indignant gasp.

Icy amber met cool violet. “If you do not wish to add the Chinese to your growing list of clients, I suggest you do so.” He permitted himself a smirk. “It is, after all, my birthday.”

Rin giggled outright at the look of indignation on InuYasha's face as he stomped away. Kagome sighed, rubbing her back briefly. Sesshou-maru turned his attention back to her. “You're quarreling. And he is not allowing you to see his true form.” He stated.

She pursed her lips, painted a coral pink, and glanced up at him. “We are. You can guess he's being stubborn.”

He raised an eyebrow. “I imagine he isn't the only stubborn one. I wonder what it is you're quarreling about.”

Kagome flushed. “I'm not being stubborn! If he'd just tell me what was going on in his head, I'd-”

She started, her temper flaring, but Rin set a calming hand on her shoulder. “Kagome-sama, if everyone got so heated about InuYasha-niisan not divulging his innermost thoughts, there would be more than just talk of global warming.” She said soothingly. “He's like that. And I'm sure he'll come around soon—ah! Just as expected, here he is now. I hope that's the Romane Conti, niichan, I need a bit of wine.” She said cheerfully, taking the glass from him.

He raised an eyebrow as he passed non-alcoholic beverages to both his brother and Kagome, who looked slightly subdued. He also had a glass of fruit punch; even the small amount of alcohol in the champagne was fuzzing his sensitive senses, and didn't want to risk doing anything more stupid than usual. “I think you lied when you said you always just wanted to sample all the expensive drinks you buy for these things.” He told her wryly. “You just want to make up for those of us who can't hold it.”

Rin smiled. “Of course not, it would shame the family to no end if I was drunk out of my mind. Small glasses to last a while, and no more.” Taking a sip of the dark wine, she added, “Though I do admit it's a perk to being human.”

InuYasha pondered over what he'd heard while coming back, Kagome being angry that he wasn't telling her what she wanted to hear, while his brother and Rin began asking questions about the baby. He'd already decided to tell her that night, yet he still didn't know how to go about doing it. Especially if she used her miko powers again—there went both theories that mating with demons or carrying a child would weaken or destroy a miko's powers. He supposed he could head all attacks off by hoping she'd be too tired to resist him after tonight, but remembering the previous night, he seriously doubted he could rely on weariness. He was brought back when Rin poked him in the arm with one of her nails. “Niisan, we're talking to you!” She chirped.

He looked at them blankly. “What?”

Kagome gave a small smile as Sesshou-maru made a noise that, in a lesser man, would have been called a sigh. “The previously asked question pertained towards the naming of the pup. Have you decided on anything as of yet?”

InuYasha blinked in surprise. “Considering that I just found out I was still going to have a pup a month ago, no, we haven't decided on names. And we haven't discussed it either.” And if she doesn't believe me later, we might not ever…

Sesshou-maru regarded him. “Be sure to run your chosen names by me when you decide.”

InuYasha frowned. “Why?”

He was met with yet another cold amber gaze. “As head of the family, I'm bound to state the approval of the names you choose.”

Kagome stepped in before another argument started. “I'll make sure of it.” The elder brother simply nodded.

Rin looked up as the hired musicians began their set. “Oh good, they're just on time. Come on, Sesshy.”

She cheerfully took her husband's hand and dragged him towards the crowd, who were pairing off with one another for the dancing portion. Kagome suppressed a laugh as she heard him protest slightly. “Rin! This Sesshou-maru does not—” She also heard Rin's reply. “Oh, don't give me that. Stop being such a sissy.”

She took a seat in a chair, grateful that they'd gone so she could sit without feeling rude. “The great Lord of the West, tamed and humbled by a small human woman.” She remarked softly.

“Keh…” InuYasha didn't say any more, unsure if her speaking was a sign that he was permitted to talk again. The pair watched the glittering crowd begin a waltz, with an elegantly disgruntled-looking Sesshou-maru in the middle of it all with his mate; his silver horsetail stood out amongst the other colors.

After the first several songs were through, some of the crowd had left to the caterers and the tables. Kagome had gone for dinner before the rush, with InuYasha trailing behind, and was on her third plate before Rin and Sesshou-maru returned with their own dinners. “You seem to have a healthy appetite.” The smaller woman remarked kindly. “That's good, signs of a healthy pup. My girls always gave me huge appetites, the servants went crazy with everything I kept wanting.”

Kagome smiled sheepishly. “I feel bad, knowing there are some who haven't had a meal yet.”

Rin waved her hand in dismissal. “Oh, don't worry about it. Some of our guests can have hearty appetites, so I always warn the caterers to have plenty of refills. If they're that upset about it, they can stop at a restaurant on the way home and pay for it.”

Kagome laughed outright, and finished her string beans. After a while, when the crowd had thinned again, InuYasha stood. Without a word, he held his hand out to Kagome. She looked at him, puzzled, but cautiously took it. Still wordless, he led her to the dance floor; she was shocked to discover that he could waltz quite well, better than she, who only knew the rudiments. He was silent for a few measures, then spoke softly. “I know you think I'm this huge asshole… Just… give me the time of day later, and I'll try to explain, alright?”

She frowned. “Why not now?”

He returned the look. “Because I'm not sure you want to get overly emotional right now. I'd rather you just save it.”

When she continued to look unhappy, he sighed, twirling her around. “Please? Just… hear me out later.”

Returning, she gripped his jacket a little harder than she'd probably intended, tripping on her own feet slightly. He steadied her, and she looked up at him. “Alright…” She whispered, feeling weak under his gaze. The violet hue shimmered, flickering to amber briefly as he fingered the ring, spinning it slightly. She bit her lip, and had to look away, her grip tightening on his coat. Smirking slightly, he loosened her grip, and began the waltz again.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

It was very late when they returned. Kagome was unable to walk once they reached his building, but he had no qualms about carrying her into the apartment. Shippou and Itazura had returned earlier, he could hear the slow, even breathing of sleep from their room, but as Sesshou-maru's brother, he'd been almost required to stay until the end. What made things better about carrying her was that he could easily keep hold of her until they were safely shut into his bedroom. Inside, she squeaked a tired protest as he set her on the bed, which was now covered in many more pillows than he'd originally owned; he'd stopped at a department store to get more, as Dr. Kiyomura had suggested. “Alright.” He started, sighing mentally. “Don't interrupt me when I start, because this is more difficult than it looks like. You of all people should know that. If you feel the need to start throwing things at me, or yelling, or purify me, wait until I'm done, or you'll never get a satisfactory answer from me, alright?”

She nodded, her eyes tired but watching him intently. “You asked if I cared at all, or if I did or didn't want you back.” He gritted his teeth. “You don't know how much that kills me, hearing you ask those things… I've wanted you back every single day you've been gone. I cared so much my heart broke several times over. I don't know how long it was, months or maybe even years, I felt like I couldn't breathe because you weren't there, my one shot at being loved and cared for and having a family for the rest of my life was gone. Yeah, I helped with Miroku and Sango's family, but it wasn't the same… Always `Uncle InuYasha', never `Father' or `Papa'. After a while… I don't know, something hardened again, making me turn away. I still wanted you, but I knew you couldn't be with me, so I tried to bury it. When things started to become familiar again, I got scared. Yes, I know, me being scared… who'd've thought? I got scared that I'd see you and reopen all that hurt and learn things I was too fucking scared of to find out for myself. Like why the well closed. Did you do it on purpose or was it an accident? The others always said it was an accident, but I was never sure…

“Remember that morning? Before you left, your scent had changed slightly. I knew immediately what it was, and I told you we were going to have a pup together. You cried, I remember, and I freaked out, but you said they were happy tears and just held me until it stopped… I remember thinking how happy we were going to be… and then the well closed. After a while, I thought maybe… maybe those weren't tears of happiness. Maybe you were realizing that your fate was sealed to me now, and wanted to stay away, leave me, or you had second thoughts… I didn't know if you hated me for this, when we really hadn't talked about it or anything… Then, later on, I learned about abortions, when they started to become popular with the prostitutes and the geisha in the cities. That scared me more, to think that you'd sealed yourself from me and then destroyed what we'd made…”

He paused here, and was furious with himself when he realized he had tears in his eyes. He swiped at them, and took a breath to calm himself. He couldn't look at her, hadn't since he'd started. He knew he had to finish though.

“There was so much I didn't know, didn't know if I even wanted to know… If you'd died in childbirth… or if you'd lost the pup, or if you'd given it away… I was even more scared to find out if you'd kept the pup, because that would open a new series of questions and problems of what to do, like now. You have no idea how fucking confused I am day in and day out because I have no idea what the fuck I'm doing. You seem so fucking calm about these things like mood swings and those weird-ass cravings you get; hell, even those doctor's appointments and that weird class we went to. I have no idea what the fuck I'm doing, and I'm even more scared that I won't know what to do after the pup is born, or if I'll be a good father, or if you still might end up hating me for something… I barely handled losing you once, I don't know if I could do it again now that I've found you…”

He didn't bother wiping away his tears now, and tried taking another calming breath. “I'm… I'm sorry… Sorry I was too damn scared to find out the truth… for thinking it'd be easier to handle the grief than the pain or the joys of the truth… For thinking it was simply easier to hate myself for driving you away…”

Her voice sounded far-away, soft. “Why did you say you couldn't trust me, that day we first met again?”

He sighed, holding his head in his hands. “I don't know… After all I've just said, you have to believe me when I say there was so much going through my mind I barely remember what I said that day…”

He thought about it for a few minutes. “Maybe… maybe it's more that I couldn't trust… myself… or your reactions to be what I hoped them to be… or that things would be how I prayed they might… That day, I still didn't know what was going to happen when the pup was going to be born… what you had planned to do… maybe you'd meant the comment about single motherhood as just being the carrying vessel for adoptive parents you'd found or something, fuck, I don't know… I regret saying it though, I've come to realize that even after all this time apart, of wondering if you'd left me for some reason, I still trust you more than anyone else in my life. And I hope… you can forgive me somehow… for all this shit, and being too goddamn scared to do anything about it…”

She didn't say anything. She didn't need to. The tears falling from her eyes were just as thick and fast as his own, as she sat up and kissed him. It wasn't as passionate as their kiss several days before, yet it fanned up a small flame inside each of them that had been shining dimply for ages. The flame did no more than break the ice that had rested between them for the past twenty-four hours, but it was enough as they lay next to each other on the mound of pillows, too exhausted to change out of their fancy clothes, and held one another as they drifted off to sleep.

 

((Raaaaaaaaaawr, emotional dramaaaaaaaaaa! Whoo! Alright, I deeply apologize for the lack of reviewer responses this time, but it's 1:30am, I have to be up in seven hours for classes, and I PROMISE I'LL WRITE LOTS OF RESPONSES NEXT TIME!! No, this story isn't over just yet, I did promise you lemons right? Oh, was that a hint? =D Not just yet, but soon!! I'm having too much fun with this one to quit just yet, tee hee. I hope you like the chapter, and please leave a review!!!))