InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ A Prayer for Loneliness (Discontinued on this account) ❯ A Rose in the Rain ( Chapter 1 )
[ Y - Young Adult: Not suitable for readers under 16 ]
By: Paint-Brush 
The selfishness of others, and the regrets of the past.
Anime/Manga: InuYasha Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Angst | Type: Other | Uploaded On: 10.10.2006 | Updated On: 10.14.2006 | Pages: 2 | Words: 2.8K | Visits: 158 | Status: Work In Progress
The selfishness of others, and the regrets of the past.
Anime/Manga: InuYasha Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Angst | Type: Other | Uploaded On: 10.10.2006 | Updated On: 10.14.2006 | Pages: 2 | Words: 2.8K | Visits: 158 | Status: Work In Progress
NOTE! PLEASE READ THIS! : This Fan-fic will be continued on a different account. ( The author's name is now Lacrymosa, it's my real account, this one is just my friend's account ) The name of the story will still be the same, just on a different account.
Disclaimer: Inuyasha doesn't belong to me. I am merely borrowing him so I can flick his ears for bit.
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The dead cannot cry out for justice;
it is a duty of the living to do so for them.
- Lois McMaster Bujold
For something so small, it had done so much damage. So much pain. The Sacred Jewel, now full and shining with a pure glow, was so light in her hands. It had too much power then anything so light had a right to have. Who could have thought that such a thing, something so small and seemingly harmless, could be the source of hundreds of deaths?
Kagome sat on the edge of the Bone-Eating well, her feet dangling to brush the short strands of grass that rose from the ground. Only the pale orb of the moon and the faint twinkling of stars shed any light. Gone was her school uniform, it was torn and bloodstained beyond repair, in replacement she now wore the traditional miko kimono, white haori standing out starkly against the deep red of her hakama. The Shikon no Tama rolled around her fingers in a lazy circle, while Kagome thought about the task she still had yet to do. She could never remember having to do anything so hard. But she didn't have a choice, did she? If the Jewel was left to remain as it was, Kagome could only imagine the consequences it would still have on her life, and the lives of others. No, it had to be destroyed, or else one day her guard would slip, and it would take one mistake, only one, for everything to come undone.
She only caught sight of the fire-rat kimono, and bare feet, before clawed hands were placed above her own. He was so close she could hear his breathing. She lifted her head, eyes darting to search the golden depths of the hanyou's amber gaze. They seemed to have a light of their own. She saw only grim determination, and deeper, she saw something she couldn't name. Long silver hair that cascaded down his shoulders, catching the moonlight in a halo around his face. Two dog-shaped ears sat atop the pale white strands. Inuyasha. She felt a smile quirk at the corner of her lips, and she saw him soften slightly in his stance.
"Are you sure...?" she murmured so softly that, was he human, she doubted that he would have been able to hear. Half-heartedly, she wanted him to refuse, she wanted him to balk and tell her no, that they could protect the Shikon Jewel together forever. But she knew that he wouldn't say that, he knew as well as she what lay at stake in their decision.
"Yes."
Nothing more could be said. Behind the words was the weight of his answer, and Kagome needed no more convincing. This was what had to be done to ensure the not only their safety, but that of others as well.
"Will you stay?"
Kagome didn't need to explain what she meant, she knew that he would understand. Will you stay here with me? She needed to know this, or else she didn't think she could go on. He would stay wouldn't he? They had been through too much for him to simply leave, hadn't they?
She heard him give a faint chuckle. "Of course," was all he said. His hands clasped hers firmly, and lifted her off the edge of the well. She steadied herself on the grass, her legs aching from the hard unforgiving wood of the well. She lifted herself up on her toes, and gave him a tiny peck on his dry lips. She whispered into his mouth, "Make a wish."
She felt the warm pulsing glow of the jewel against her hand before she saw the glare through her eyelids. She kissed him again, deeper, and she felt him respond in kind. A growl rose in his throat, a throbbing rumble in his chest. She sensed his youkai half rebelling, fighting the strength of the jewel that threatened to consume it. Her tongue darted in his mouth, rubbing against the pointed fangs that were quickly receding into dull human teeth. His growl dampened to a deep sigh. The lightness in her hands flickered out to nothing, and Kagome then freed her hands from Inuyasha'S grasp to wrap around his shoulders. Fingers tangled in his hair- now black, she knew- and she withdrew from his kiss. In the darkness, his eyes were pale hollows in his face. She lay her head against his shoulder, and his arms snaked around her waist, pulling her towards him.
And it was done.
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For days, Kagome wondered if she had done the right thing. Could there have been a different way? Surely there was.
He was different for one thing. She loved him just the same, but she still felt like she had killed part of the man that she loved, and he was now replaced with a thin imitation of his former self. The memory lingered. What was it like for him, for youkai strength to be substituted for human fragility? All the things that had made him him, were gone. Or a shadow of what they had been. His golden eyes were darkened beneath the mud-brown of mortality, and his voice was softer, not so feral. His temper remained, and his infamous arrogance. Tessaiga was now merely a dented katana, unable to transform without youkai strength, but Inuyasha still carried it around with him wherever he went. A comfort of sorts, a reminder of what he was, of what he had accomplished.
But some things were still same, and that offered some relief for her. The way he would look at her, his eyes dark and knowing, still sent chills tracing cold fingers up her spine. The way his hands felt on her skin in the dark. He still smelt the same, a soft and pungent smell that was like no other. He was still strong, though nothing compared to the un-human strength he had once possessed.
But it was completely different for Kagome to find out that she too, was different.
She spent the majority of her time in the past, her occasional jumps down the well were only to visit her family, or to get something that was not yet available in the past. Kagome didn't talk as much there, and her answers to questions asked were short and to the point. " Yes, Mama, our house is quite big enough.", "No Souta, I can't."," Jii-chan, we're fine, so stop worrying," or even, "No thank-you, but I can't stay."
Kagome didn't realize how distant she had become to her family. She was only 16 years old, and already she was off living her life with someone that she loved. She couldn't bear to leave him. How could she? He needed her. It had been a surprise to both of them when they had found out that he could no longer pass through the well. It had been such a nice day, when Inuyasha had decided that he had enough time to "rot in this damned house" and that he wanted to come with her. To the future.
Kagome had felt the magic catch her in mid-jump, and she climbed out of the well as gracefully as she could before she had turned, expecting to see Inuyasha behind her. It surprised her that he wasn't. Had he changed his mind? Worry nagged at the back of her head, as she lowered herself back inside the well.
She found him sitting in the grass, his back lying flat against the side of the Bone-Eating well. He was staring at something in the distance, but Kagome couldn't see what he was looking at. She thought that maybe what he was looking at wasn't outside, but inside his mind, where she couldn't follow him. She knelt down beside him and laid her head against his shoulder, asking him what was wrong.
"It didn't let me through," was all that he would say. His face held no expression, not even haughty indifference. It was empty, like he was trying to come to terms with what had happend. A wave of pity contracted through Kagome's body as she looked into the face of the man that she loved so much. She wanted to know what he was thinking, if he felt any regret like she did. Kagome tried to reassure him, tell him that it was okay, she didn't need to go today anyway, that she would stay here with him, it's okay, don't worry.
How could she ever forgive herself for what she had done to him? She could tell that there were things that still haunted him, memories of the past, or maybe even fears for the future that caused him to cry out in his sleep. Kagome wondered how she could have actually thought that having him make that awful wish was the best thing for both of them. She was almost sure know that it wasn't, she could see the torment that it was causing him. It was worse then killing him.
It took awhile for Kagome to realize how selfish Kikyou really was. Or had been.
She must of have known. There had always been something behind her eyes that had hinted to a deeper motive. Why else would Kikyou have ever asked Inuyasha to become human?
And then Kagome was reminded that in the end, it was she who had asked him to change. For her. The thought was so painful that Kagome thought she could actually hear her heart break. Why did he let her? Why did he sacrifice all that he was for something that could possibly have ended differently? There must have been another choice. She just... couldn't think of one.
There were hints everywhere. Kagome remembered her last glimpse of Kikyou's eyes before they became empty of life. She remembered the smell of her blood, Kikyou's and her own, she remembered the feel of it as it seeped through her skirt as she knelt down before Kikyou, lying on the ground, the wounds of shouki so deep that her life seeped out faster then her blood. Or maybe her life was her blood, in which case it would still amount to the same thing.
The crater of earth was all that remained of Naraku, and even from where she was, Kagome could see the bright holy glow of the Shikon no Tama that lay nestled somewhere in the dirt. She heard sobs. It was Sango, already mourning the loss of her beloved brother Kohaku, who lay stiff and cold in the dirt where he had surrendered the last Shard of the jewel. In the end it was his sacrifice that destroyed Naraku. In the corner of her vision, Kagome could remember seeing Inuyasha's battered body where she left him, unconscious but alive, to be with Kikyou before she died. She imagined the chagrin he would feel when he realized that Kikyou had died after all. Naraku had almost been successful in killing them both, as Inuyasha had flown to Kikyou's rescue after one of Naraku's many tentacled arms had swung in a lazy arc, crashing against Kikyou's body. She could barely move, so poisoned was her body of Naraku's hated shouki. Before Inuyasha could even draw Tessaiga, he too was struck a hard blow, his body flung far away from Kagome as she watched. She remembered crying out in pain, as if she too had been struck. She wanted to run to him, to be with him, but she couldn't.
And Kagome could remember seeing something fly overhead, it's radiance so blinding that she could hardly make out what it was.
It was an arrow-Kikyou's arrow-with the Kohaku's life connecting shard embedded in it's tip. It was blazing with a holy light brighter then the sun itself, and it was heading straight at Naraku, aimed to strike at the black tainted Shikon no Tama. Naraku didn't even realize that he had been defeated before he dissipated in a glow of holy light, the shard purifying him at the same time as it purified the Jewel. He was really gone.
Kagome could remember running past Kikyou, her eyes only seeing her worst nightmares as she approached Inuyasha. Images of his body torn and broken, his blood still sinking into the earth even as his heart stopped beating. She didn't even know she was crying as she ran her hands over his body, desperately feeling for his comforting warmth, the pulse of his heart against her hand. With relief, she found no life-threatening wounds, save for a deep gash running across the base of his stomach, almost deep enough to be fatal, but thankfully not. Blood was already scabbing around his skull, and Kagome's fingers tested the depth of the wound with her fingers. It was tender, and she suspected a headache was in store for him. His eyelids had flickered briefly beneath thick lashes at her touch.
Standing on weak legs, Kagome had turned around to walk slowly towards Kikyou. She didn't know what had compelled her to do so, but she felt the need to see her. Before Kagome had even reached touching distance, she could see that Kikyou was dying. She was now well aware of the tears that poured down her cheeks as she beheld the woman that had taught her so much about herself.
"Kikyou..." Kagome had lowered herself to her knees beside Kikyou. Her eyes were glazed with pain, her neck beneath the haori stained almost to pure black. Her eyes gaze beseechingly at Kagome, and she felt a wave of sadness and anguish. Kikyou's eyes had turned to the direction of the Shikon Jewel, a grim satisfaction gleaming through the haze of pain. Kagome had followed her gaze.
"Yes," she had said, "Kikyou, Naraku is gone. You killed him."
She saw Kikyou's grip on her bow loosen. Kagome knew that she didn't have much time left. Vaguely she wondered if Kikyou was afraid of dying again, or if she just wanted to rest and be done.
" Do you," speaking seemed to be something almost too difficult for Kikyou to manage, " do you... know what to do?"
It took a few precious moments for Kagome to realize what Kikyou meant. She looked back over shoulder at Inuyasha, who lay there in the dust. Kagome had to remind herself that he was alive. He looked so desolate and abandoned where she h ad left him.
"Hai. I know what to do. Kikyou, I'll grant your wish..."
It was her destiny, was't it? It was her duty, as Kikyou's reincarnation to fulfill her wish.
How could she have know that it would end up like it had? Kagome remembered seeing something flicker behind Kikyou's eyes, and it looked as if she was meaning to say something, but just didn't have the strength. Kagome closed her eyes tightly shut and turned around as Kikyou's eyes became dim. Kagome wondered if she had really understood what Kikyou had meant, and had done the wrong thing instead. Could Kikyou have known? Had she meant for this to happen all along?
How selfish had Kikyou really been?
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A nd here ends Chapter One. Just so you know, I'm not a Kikyou hater. I think she is a really strong character in the series, and is one of my personal faves. So don't accuse me of anything, you have a fair warning. Thanks for reading! If you like, please review... I know it's not much yet, but yeah...
~ Paint-Brush
Disclaimer: Inuyasha doesn't belong to me. I am merely borrowing him so I can flick his ears for bit.
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The dead cannot cry out for justice;
it is a duty of the living to do so for them.
- Lois McMaster Bujold
For something so small, it had done so much damage. So much pain. The Sacred Jewel, now full and shining with a pure glow, was so light in her hands. It had too much power then anything so light had a right to have. Who could have thought that such a thing, something so small and seemingly harmless, could be the source of hundreds of deaths?
Kagome sat on the edge of the Bone-Eating well, her feet dangling to brush the short strands of grass that rose from the ground. Only the pale orb of the moon and the faint twinkling of stars shed any light. Gone was her school uniform, it was torn and bloodstained beyond repair, in replacement she now wore the traditional miko kimono, white haori standing out starkly against the deep red of her hakama. The Shikon no Tama rolled around her fingers in a lazy circle, while Kagome thought about the task she still had yet to do. She could never remember having to do anything so hard. But she didn't have a choice, did she? If the Jewel was left to remain as it was, Kagome could only imagine the consequences it would still have on her life, and the lives of others. No, it had to be destroyed, or else one day her guard would slip, and it would take one mistake, only one, for everything to come undone.
She only caught sight of the fire-rat kimono, and bare feet, before clawed hands were placed above her own. He was so close she could hear his breathing. She lifted her head, eyes darting to search the golden depths of the hanyou's amber gaze. They seemed to have a light of their own. She saw only grim determination, and deeper, she saw something she couldn't name. Long silver hair that cascaded down his shoulders, catching the moonlight in a halo around his face. Two dog-shaped ears sat atop the pale white strands. Inuyasha. She felt a smile quirk at the corner of her lips, and she saw him soften slightly in his stance.
"Are you sure...?" she murmured so softly that, was he human, she doubted that he would have been able to hear. Half-heartedly, she wanted him to refuse, she wanted him to balk and tell her no, that they could protect the Shikon Jewel together forever. But she knew that he wouldn't say that, he knew as well as she what lay at stake in their decision.
"Yes."
Nothing more could be said. Behind the words was the weight of his answer, and Kagome needed no more convincing. This was what had to be done to ensure the not only their safety, but that of others as well.
"Will you stay?"
Kagome didn't need to explain what she meant, she knew that he would understand. Will you stay here with me? She needed to know this, or else she didn't think she could go on. He would stay wouldn't he? They had been through too much for him to simply leave, hadn't they?
She heard him give a faint chuckle. "Of course," was all he said. His hands clasped hers firmly, and lifted her off the edge of the well. She steadied herself on the grass, her legs aching from the hard unforgiving wood of the well. She lifted herself up on her toes, and gave him a tiny peck on his dry lips. She whispered into his mouth, "Make a wish."
She felt the warm pulsing glow of the jewel against her hand before she saw the glare through her eyelids. She kissed him again, deeper, and she felt him respond in kind. A growl rose in his throat, a throbbing rumble in his chest. She sensed his youkai half rebelling, fighting the strength of the jewel that threatened to consume it. Her tongue darted in his mouth, rubbing against the pointed fangs that were quickly receding into dull human teeth. His growl dampened to a deep sigh. The lightness in her hands flickered out to nothing, and Kagome then freed her hands from Inuyasha'S grasp to wrap around his shoulders. Fingers tangled in his hair- now black, she knew- and she withdrew from his kiss. In the darkness, his eyes were pale hollows in his face. She lay her head against his shoulder, and his arms snaked around her waist, pulling her towards him.
And it was done.
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For days, Kagome wondered if she had done the right thing. Could there have been a different way? Surely there was.
He was different for one thing. She loved him just the same, but she still felt like she had killed part of the man that she loved, and he was now replaced with a thin imitation of his former self. The memory lingered. What was it like for him, for youkai strength to be substituted for human fragility? All the things that had made him him, were gone. Or a shadow of what they had been. His golden eyes were darkened beneath the mud-brown of mortality, and his voice was softer, not so feral. His temper remained, and his infamous arrogance. Tessaiga was now merely a dented katana, unable to transform without youkai strength, but Inuyasha still carried it around with him wherever he went. A comfort of sorts, a reminder of what he was, of what he had accomplished.
But some things were still same, and that offered some relief for her. The way he would look at her, his eyes dark and knowing, still sent chills tracing cold fingers up her spine. The way his hands felt on her skin in the dark. He still smelt the same, a soft and pungent smell that was like no other. He was still strong, though nothing compared to the un-human strength he had once possessed.
But it was completely different for Kagome to find out that she too, was different.
She spent the majority of her time in the past, her occasional jumps down the well were only to visit her family, or to get something that was not yet available in the past. Kagome didn't talk as much there, and her answers to questions asked were short and to the point. " Yes, Mama, our house is quite big enough.", "No Souta, I can't."," Jii-chan, we're fine, so stop worrying," or even, "No thank-you, but I can't stay."
Kagome didn't realize how distant she had become to her family. She was only 16 years old, and already she was off living her life with someone that she loved. She couldn't bear to leave him. How could she? He needed her. It had been a surprise to both of them when they had found out that he could no longer pass through the well. It had been such a nice day, when Inuyasha had decided that he had enough time to "rot in this damned house" and that he wanted to come with her. To the future.
Kagome had felt the magic catch her in mid-jump, and she climbed out of the well as gracefully as she could before she had turned, expecting to see Inuyasha behind her. It surprised her that he wasn't. Had he changed his mind? Worry nagged at the back of her head, as she lowered herself back inside the well.
She found him sitting in the grass, his back lying flat against the side of the Bone-Eating well. He was staring at something in the distance, but Kagome couldn't see what he was looking at. She thought that maybe what he was looking at wasn't outside, but inside his mind, where she couldn't follow him. She knelt down beside him and laid her head against his shoulder, asking him what was wrong.
"It didn't let me through," was all that he would say. His face held no expression, not even haughty indifference. It was empty, like he was trying to come to terms with what had happend. A wave of pity contracted through Kagome's body as she looked into the face of the man that she loved so much. She wanted to know what he was thinking, if he felt any regret like she did. Kagome tried to reassure him, tell him that it was okay, she didn't need to go today anyway, that she would stay here with him, it's okay, don't worry.
How could she ever forgive herself for what she had done to him? She could tell that there were things that still haunted him, memories of the past, or maybe even fears for the future that caused him to cry out in his sleep. Kagome wondered how she could have actually thought that having him make that awful wish was the best thing for both of them. She was almost sure know that it wasn't, she could see the torment that it was causing him. It was worse then killing him.
It took awhile for Kagome to realize how selfish Kikyou really was. Or had been.
She must of have known. There had always been something behind her eyes that had hinted to a deeper motive. Why else would Kikyou have ever asked Inuyasha to become human?
And then Kagome was reminded that in the end, it was she who had asked him to change. For her. The thought was so painful that Kagome thought she could actually hear her heart break. Why did he let her? Why did he sacrifice all that he was for something that could possibly have ended differently? There must have been another choice. She just... couldn't think of one.
There were hints everywhere. Kagome remembered her last glimpse of Kikyou's eyes before they became empty of life. She remembered the smell of her blood, Kikyou's and her own, she remembered the feel of it as it seeped through her skirt as she knelt down before Kikyou, lying on the ground, the wounds of shouki so deep that her life seeped out faster then her blood. Or maybe her life was her blood, in which case it would still amount to the same thing.
The crater of earth was all that remained of Naraku, and even from where she was, Kagome could see the bright holy glow of the Shikon no Tama that lay nestled somewhere in the dirt. She heard sobs. It was Sango, already mourning the loss of her beloved brother Kohaku, who lay stiff and cold in the dirt where he had surrendered the last Shard of the jewel. In the end it was his sacrifice that destroyed Naraku. In the corner of her vision, Kagome could remember seeing Inuyasha's battered body where she left him, unconscious but alive, to be with Kikyou before she died. She imagined the chagrin he would feel when he realized that Kikyou had died after all. Naraku had almost been successful in killing them both, as Inuyasha had flown to Kikyou's rescue after one of Naraku's many tentacled arms had swung in a lazy arc, crashing against Kikyou's body. She could barely move, so poisoned was her body of Naraku's hated shouki. Before Inuyasha could even draw Tessaiga, he too was struck a hard blow, his body flung far away from Kagome as she watched. She remembered crying out in pain, as if she too had been struck. She wanted to run to him, to be with him, but she couldn't.
And Kagome could remember seeing something fly overhead, it's radiance so blinding that she could hardly make out what it was.
It was an arrow-Kikyou's arrow-with the Kohaku's life connecting shard embedded in it's tip. It was blazing with a holy light brighter then the sun itself, and it was heading straight at Naraku, aimed to strike at the black tainted Shikon no Tama. Naraku didn't even realize that he had been defeated before he dissipated in a glow of holy light, the shard purifying him at the same time as it purified the Jewel. He was really gone.
Kagome could remember running past Kikyou, her eyes only seeing her worst nightmares as she approached Inuyasha. Images of his body torn and broken, his blood still sinking into the earth even as his heart stopped beating. She didn't even know she was crying as she ran her hands over his body, desperately feeling for his comforting warmth, the pulse of his heart against her hand. With relief, she found no life-threatening wounds, save for a deep gash running across the base of his stomach, almost deep enough to be fatal, but thankfully not. Blood was already scabbing around his skull, and Kagome's fingers tested the depth of the wound with her fingers. It was tender, and she suspected a headache was in store for him. His eyelids had flickered briefly beneath thick lashes at her touch.
Standing on weak legs, Kagome had turned around to walk slowly towards Kikyou. She didn't know what had compelled her to do so, but she felt the need to see her. Before Kagome had even reached touching distance, she could see that Kikyou was dying. She was now well aware of the tears that poured down her cheeks as she beheld the woman that had taught her so much about herself.
"Kikyou..." Kagome had lowered herself to her knees beside Kikyou. Her eyes were glazed with pain, her neck beneath the haori stained almost to pure black. Her eyes gaze beseechingly at Kagome, and she felt a wave of sadness and anguish. Kikyou's eyes had turned to the direction of the Shikon Jewel, a grim satisfaction gleaming through the haze of pain. Kagome had followed her gaze.
"Yes," she had said, "Kikyou, Naraku is gone. You killed him."
She saw Kikyou's grip on her bow loosen. Kagome knew that she didn't have much time left. Vaguely she wondered if Kikyou was afraid of dying again, or if she just wanted to rest and be done.
" Do you," speaking seemed to be something almost too difficult for Kikyou to manage, " do you... know what to do?"
It took a few precious moments for Kagome to realize what Kikyou meant. She looked back over shoulder at Inuyasha, who lay there in the dust. Kagome had to remind herself that he was alive. He looked so desolate and abandoned where she h ad left him.
"Hai. I know what to do. Kikyou, I'll grant your wish..."
It was her destiny, was't it? It was her duty, as Kikyou's reincarnation to fulfill her wish.
How could she have know that it would end up like it had? Kagome remembered seeing something flicker behind Kikyou's eyes, and it looked as if she was meaning to say something, but just didn't have the strength. Kagome closed her eyes tightly shut and turned around as Kikyou's eyes became dim. Kagome wondered if she had really understood what Kikyou had meant, and had done the wrong thing instead. Could Kikyou have known? Had she meant for this to happen all along?
How selfish had Kikyou really been?
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A nd here ends Chapter One. Just so you know, I'm not a Kikyou hater. I think she is a really strong character in the series, and is one of my personal faves. So don't accuse me of anything, you have a fair warning. Thanks for reading! If you like, please review... I know it's not much yet, but yeah...
~ Paint-Brush