InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ A Silent Affair ❯ Chapter 3

Another installment and another step forward...

 

 

 

“Kagome,” a deep voice intoned behind her. The young woman turned sharply, startled by his sudden appearance. She gave him a smile and he returned it, sitting beside her on the banister of the porch. The night was cold but she was properly bundled so he didn't need to scold her back into the house quite yet. He could tell she was glad to see him despite the fact that he was interrupting her solitude. It worried him, the way she had been acting recently. Withdrawn and not nearly as quick to smile as they were all used to. “You've been out here a lot the last few weeks, Little One.”

 

`Yea. I like watching the snow,' she responded, her hands gracefully fluttering downward in the sign for snow as she blushed at his persistent nickname for her. The older youkai smiled softly at her child-like joy in something so simple, something they all usually took for granted. `We haven't talked in a long time,' she told him with a sad sort of smile, `How are you?'

 

“I'm fine. How have you been?” The look on her face told him immediately that she didn't want to answer but she hid it quickly. She tapped the thumb of her right hand, her fingers all spread wide, to her sternum. The sign for `fine.' Toga frowned slightly, knowing she was lying. That she felt the need to lie to him made him even more worried. “Little One…” His tone was soft and slightly pleading, making it clear that he wanted the truth out of her. Kagome turned away from him and the inuyoukai quickly smelled the scent of tears. With a gentle hand he drew the young woman close to his side, eventually turning her to press her face into his chest. He held her for some time as she silently sobbed. The absence of sound as she cried made his heart ache. Why had fate been so cruel to this young woman? A beautiful, intelligent girl with a heart big enough to forgive any hurt with grace and dignity.

 

It took her several minutes to calm herself enough to do so, but eventually she signed the one thing he'd been concerned was the problem. `Inuyasha, Kikyo,' her fingers told him. Toga sighed and he nodded, squeezing her against his side in a hug.

 

“I'm sorry Little One. We tried to tell him to wait longer to ask her but… You know Inuyasha. That son of mine is as stubborn as they come.” She nodded but said nothing as she continued to cling to him. “I know you care for him a great deal and sometimes I don't think he deserves it.” He paused, taking a deep breath before he spoke again. “You love him don't you?” he whispered. Kagome stiffened in surprise, her wide brown eyes turning up to look at him. He died a little inside to see the pain that lay there in those eyes which usually glowed with happiness and compassion. He was pretty sure he'd known the answer before he asked but her reaction only solidified the truth. With no consoling advice to give Toga sat with her in the chill night for a long time, the two of them watching the snow as it fell around them. The world was slowly blanketed in a soft hush as the snow coated the ground and the trees. The Taiyoukai couldn't help the way the silent snow reminded him of the young woman next to him. Beautiful and sad… “It will be alright Little One,” he finally whispered, unsure of what else to tell her. Kagome sighed and cast him a faintly disbelieving look in the dark. Toga said no more for fear of telling her things he had no right promising. His son was a fool…

 

 

This time she wasn't going to take it. Kikyo was coming for another visit and Kagome was sick of the girl's two-faced personality. She was tired of being told she was useless, stupid and so obviously not worth Inuyasha's affection. After all, Kikyo was the one with the ring on her finger, wasn't she? Kagome knew that part of why Kikyo's words stung so much was because she believed them herself. She had never been good enough for Inuyasha but she had been lucky to gain him as a close friend and protector. Now she had lost him. As soon as Kikyo sunk her claws into him he was gone. Kagome had no delusions, she wouldn't be able to get him back after this. The two would be married and she would be left broken. So she left before it could happen that way. It had been a scary trip for her and only with Miroku's connections and help had she been able to manage it. Now she was on a plane set for Japan. While she was excited to see her homeland, she knew she would miss her family and the friends she had made in the United States. Sota had made special arrangements to come in for the night to see her off and the two had shared a tear-filled goodbye.

 

`Don't worry. I'll write and once you finish your undergraduate work in a few years you can come visit me.' Sota tried one last time to convince his sister to stay but she wouldn't hear it. Kagome wasn't one to go back on her promises, even ones made just to herself. She had made up her mind and there was no turning back now. Even Miroku had tried to change her mind in the airport, telling her that she could still try. `I can't Miroku. I'm tired of all of it. Maybe living in the temple will help me find some kind of peace.' The two had embraced before she boarded the plane. Miroku had waited around until long after the plane had left, somehow hoping she would come back and try again. But she was determined to move on and far away.

 

Once on the plane Kagome had allowed herself to break down and truly cry. Cry out her pain, cry for her loss and cry because she was exhausted. Eventually she'd fallen asleep almost until it was time to land and change planes. The second flight was easily twice as long as the first and so she had even more time to contemplate her disastrous life and the loving people she was leaving behind. The one that hurt the most to leave, other than Inuyasha, was Toga. He had been so kind to her, given her everything she could ever have wanted and even tried to be a stand in father for her and Sota Kagome hated the fact that she hadn't been able to say goodbye to him or Izayoi in person, leaving notes for each of them in their bedroom expressing her thanks and telling them not to worry about her, that she was going to try to make it on her own for a while.

 

Another note had been sent to Sesshomaru in New York though she doubted he would read it. That was the hope. He was the only one besides Miroku who would know exactly where she was going in case some kind of family emergency occurred. Sota knew she was going back to Japan but that was as much as she'd told him. Kagome didn't trust her brother not to tell anyone where she planned to start her new life. Sesshomaru wouldn't tell a soul. Especially not Inuyasha. If anything he would thrive on being able to withhold the information from his younger brother, taunting the hanyou, as he was prone to do. Thinking of Inuyasha brought on yet another wave of pain in her heart. Curling up in the relatively large airplane seat, Kagome pressed her forehead against the cool window.

 

All she'd wanted was for him to love her. She'd thought for a long time that he did, that she was the only woman in his life other than his mother. Then college had come and he'd left her alone to finish high school and then attend a junior college. She liked school but home was another story. Her brother tried to keep her company but soon she realized it wasn't enough. She missed Inuyasha. Then he'd met Kikyo and Kagome knew that she'd waited too long to tell him how she felt. He would never see her as a woman now, only as a girl he was friends with, close with. A sister. She couldn't have been more right in her opinion. He'd become increasingly absorbed in his relationship with Kikyo until that was nearly all he could talk to her about. That was the last thing she wanted to hear. Inuyasha was the only one for her, she'd known it since the day she'd been brought into his home unconscious and he'd said he thought she was pretty. But he never saw it the way she did. He treated her like a sister, a best friend… one of the guys. She could never be someone he would consider courting. Even now, after years of knowing the truth, it still hurt to think it, admit it to herself.

 

The truth had almost literally come in the form of a slap to the face. The third or fourth time Kikyo had come to visit, Kagome was still unclear on how many visits had been made, the slightly elder young woman had cornered the mute girl and told her to stay away from Inuyasha. Kagome had been outraged. Unable to tell her to go to hell Kagome had turned and tried to walk away from the situation. “He'll never love you.” The young raven-haired woman had frozen, not even bothering to glance back at the woman spouting her disgust at her. “Who could ever want a mute girl?” Kagome had been sorely tempted to turn around and give the girl a piece of her mind and a large hunk of her fist but had realized that whatever she wanted to say to the woman would fall on deaf eyes. Kikyo would never understand her and more than likely wouldn't ever try. Kagome had felt then how truly lonely her world would be if Inuyasha stayed with Kikyo and forgot all about her. That had been the driving force that had turned her around, glaring at Kikyo and radiating her anger. Then Kikyo had slapped her. Without provocation. Kagome had been more than a little shocked. “Don't presume to be mad at me girl,” she spat, “the only one you have to blame is yourself for getting your hopes up.” Not that long after Inuyasha had proposed to the evil woman Kagome had made her plans to get as far away from the pain and despair she felt as she could. To get away from the one who hurt her most by not protecting her from the one whom he loved instead of her.

 

The plane landed and Kagome was grateful to get off. Once she had gone through customs and retrieved her luggage, she was happy to find a hefty old man in monk's robes holding a sign with her name on it. He was bald and had a slightly red nose and very kind eyes. Mushin. He smiled when she approached him and said nothing until he was able to get her a pad of paper and pencil. “How was your flight my dear?” he asked her. She smiled and nodded, glad to be able to get her point across without the paper even if it had been provided. Her Japanese was a little rusty so she was worried she would write the wrong characters. She was looking forward to the prospect of living in the temple under a “vow of silence.” It had been Miroku's idea and a quick fix to her inability for speech. Now she wouldn't have to worry about visitors to the temple or the other monks asking invasive questions.