InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ A Wolf's Heart ❯ Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I don't own InuYasha or any of the other wonderful characters of this Feudal Fairy Tale, if I did I'd want to make sure Kouga got bigger parts!! On with the story!

 

 

 

 

 

Perhaps it was true that she could never quite pin-point the moment that she ceased to love him in romantic fashion and began a deeper love for him as her best friend. Oh she had said those words in her mind all along, that here he is, he is my best friend but really she was saying them to hold back that she had fallen in love with him. She fell hard and fast drawn in by what lay under the gruff exterior he showed the world, the one where he didn't pretend to like anyone and insulted her and the people they encountered in general, she was drawn in by those so rare moments that he showed vulnerability in those golden eyes and said things like “Let me protect you.”

 

 

 

Which while it confused her it also set her young heart to beating just a little too fast. They grew closer over the weeks and the group they traveled with expanded, and while she loved the company of others and kami knew how much she adored Shippou, there were times that she missed being alone with him. As well it seemed harder to have those little moments of tenderness with a constant audience and sometimes his rude treatment and words to her seemed worse just because he didn't want any of them to think he was weak or favored her as more than a shard detector.

 

 

 

Of all the insults he had ever leveled her way, she thought that one stung the very worst. When Kikyou was brought back to life things went downhill in many ways, but the emotional pain made her face truths she had been dancing around. She didn't just consider her hanyou companion as a friend, she was in love with him. Her first love and he did not seem to care less by how he acted, save that she saw that brief moment of fear and loss when he thought she would not stay with him, and it was that pain and her love that made her promise to stay with him for as long as he would let her.

 

 

 

For a good length of time that seemed to be enough for the both of them. She stayed at his side despite how he would run off at the slightest hint that Kikyou would be around, even most hurtfully once leaving her to be possessed by an incarnation of Naraku's because he needed to know if the rumors of her being seen were true. She understood and stuck with him, through it all. He was her first love, her first kiss was given to him to keep his demon side from extinguishing his human side for all eternity. He'd even kissed her back and promised her that he would stay a half demon, just for her, even if for only a little while longer.

 

 

 

Yet there came a time when all the threads seemed to catch up to her, despite how much she loved, despite the fact that he professed that he needed her at his side and how right that had felt when they sat next to each other on that tree branch after he'd saved them from the belly of that oni, the cool breeze soothing her bandaged burns a bit. He'd been sorrowful that day and she had loved him all the more … but nothing truly changed the way her heart needed it to, the way her soul longed for it to.

 

 

 

Still she stayed and there came a time that the Jewel was nearly completed but it wasn't in their hands, no, it was in the hands of Naraku. Things were not supposed to have happened that way and InuYasha had seemed even more involved with trying to make himself and his Tessaiga more powerful than he was in the condition of their little group. Miroku was fast approaching the cusp of the age that his father's Kazaana had begun to widen after all, and Sango was no closer to saving her lost brother Kohaku. That they had grown closer was inevitable and she felt happiness for her that they had found any sort of love considering what they were both laboring under.

 

 

 

But it hurt part of her heart as well that while her friends grew closer the rift between her and InuYasha seemed to grow. The love was still there but was now starting to temper into something less passionate, and so when Kikyou and Kohaku joined their group after a fashion followed soon by Kouga who had sent Ginta and Hakkaku home it faded even more. He could not help the sorrowful glances towards the undead miko any more than Kagome could help the bit of faded hurt that rose up in her breast at that, no matter how she tried and she realized then and there that even were Kikyou to pass on into the afterlife that very night she would never truly have all of InuYasha's heart. So with a gentle sigh she simply … gave up.

 

 

 

She had love enough for the whole world and for a despairing moment she thought that there would never be someone that could love her the way she could love, truly and totally. And in one shining second that self-deception was torn away by a simple declaration from someone she had always held apart from her just slightly because with the feelings of worthlessness that sometimes crept over her due to InuYasha's words made her think that there was no way possible for what he said to be the truth.

 

“I'm sorry Kouga,” she had said, when InuYasha had left the group to pursue Kikyou and Kouga had taken her up upon his back to carry her. He'd looked over his shoulder at her, and the warmth and sincerity shone in his so very blue eyes and when he spoke it was without that familiar cockiness in which he often declared her as his woman, partly out of desire for it to be true and partly to enrage his hanyou rival for her.

 

“It could be forever, if it was you.”

 

 

 

She whispered her thank you in an awestruck tone, sure he wouldn't notice the change in her voice. But this was Kouga and he had loved her from the moment she had in her temper slapped him across the face so very long ago. While he had taken great enjoyment in his baiting of InuYasha, underneath it all was the honest truth that he loved Kagome and he loved her enough to wait for her. He could not help himself sometimes and came out of his way to see her and his so called random travels were often plotted meticulously into areas he knew that her group would travel through. He noticed that tone and for a tiny second he allowed hope to flare to life in his battered heart.

 

 

 

Yet the way things stood he could simply not watch that Inu-hanyou crumble apart her heart and emotions and he had promised to work with them so that meant he couldn't just take that dog out in the woods and beat some sense into him. Even without his shards he was faster and stronger and because it was for Kagome he could not lose, he knew it. Just being around her made him feel more complete but he hated that he had to watch her get hurt over and over. So rather than let it get to the point that he became a demon who broke his word, he left. However he did not go far, and likely it was a good thing that he had not.

 

 

 

He heard about the final passing of Kikyou and that tiny flame of hope began to die, because surely now InuYasha would turn to Kagome without that ghost of the past in the way. Yet he did not, and while he watched from afar he was still watching and he noticed something that struck him as odd. Each night no matter where the group stayed Kagome would go out towards the forest or a field or even the outermost hut of a village and she would stare out into the distance for a goodly amount of time before she would heave a sigh and turn back to join the others.

 

 

 

It hit him after a few times of watching this behavior that she had been looking in the direction he had gone when he left the group and that tiny flame of hope that had nearly smothered out and killed the rest of his hope with it flared into incandescence. Could it be that she, the one female in all the world that he wanted and desired, missed him the way he did her? There was only one way to find out and it took him another three days to work up the courage to do it. If he was wrong there was no going back from this and he didn't know if he could live with a broken heart the way Kagome had for so long. She was so strong yet even the strongest need someone to simply be there just for them.

 

 

 

Kouga wanted more than life itself to be that for Kagome. So it was in a dark field that in the daylight glowed with dots of bright flowers which now slept in the cool night air he came to her while she stood so sad and forlorn, staring towards where she thought he had gone. For a moment she simply stared, thinking that her mind had conjured him out of her longing to see him. His rich black hair, held back with that headband of fur and his pony-tail swaying as he walked towards her, his blue eyes intense as he allowed himself to drink in the sight of her. She thought it was a dream because he had not run up to her in a whirlwind until the very moment that he reached down and gently took her hands in his.

 

 

 

His hands were strong and warm, calloused a bit and his thumb gently caressed the back of her hand as he spoke.

 

“Kagome, if you tell me to go this time, I will not return.”

 

 

 

She gasped softly and he looked up to catch her gaze, and he saw enough to make him continue.

 

“I have told you that you are my woman in the fashion of demons and you … you didn't believe that I love you. I can't be other than what I am, my Kagome. But I will try just this once to say this like a human man. I love you Kagome and I love you alone. Will you … could you … love me?”

 

 

 

He hadn't in the end quite been able to say everything to her that he wanted to, words honestly had never been his strong suit, he did far better speaking with his actions and Kagome seemed to take that in mind, thinking of the times in which he had come after her to rescue her, risking his own life to save hers. She thought back to Mount Hakurei, when he had been taken and he let her hands go because he would never do a thing to endanger her and he had told her so. They had almost lost him and suddenly Kagome's eyes welled with tears. She had cried that day when she had thought InuYasha had been burned alive by Renkotsu after the fire had washed over the river, and yet her relief had been as always mixed with the sadness of knowing despite his teasing of Kouga it was other arms that he wanted around him.

 

 

 

Kouga felt his heart freeze at the sight of her tears, was this it then? Was this to be his final goodbye to Kagome? A gusty sigh came from him and he began to turn from her, believing that her silence could only mean no. But then he felt her take her hands from his and slip her arms around his neck, pressing her newly wet cheek against his own.

 

“I believe you Kouga.” My heart, so bruised and tattered for so long, how have you waited so patiently for me? “You … have always been telling the truth, haven't you? You … have always loved me.”

 

 

 

Her arms tightened and his own came up to cradle her, to savor this embrace because she had initiated it and if this was to be the last time he saw her he would not want to go from it without her scent covering him, filling his senses. Her words, she was speaking now and finally they came clear and he threw back his head to shout with joy, spinning with her there in that dark field.

 

 

 

“I missed you so much Kouga … I needed you back, because I think … I gave you my heart when you said you wouldn't mind if you had to carry me forever. Please, will you stay this time at my side?”

 

 

 

It was all the yes that either of them needed when his lips came and captured hers so gently, it was not her first kiss it was true but it was the best kiss she would ever receive, the kiss full of patience and love, longing and passion. Best of all was the truth behind it, that it and all the love of his heart were for only Higurashi Kagome, and she knew she could be happy spending the rest of her days making sure that he knew what a gift he had given her.

 

 

AN: Well, I am working on Chapter 21 of Knight Errant but I just could not get this idea to leave my head until I put it down … hope you like it!