InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Absolution's Pursuit ❯ I Won't Let You Go ( Chapter 17 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

Absolution’s Pursuit

I Won’t Let You Go

…________________________________________________________ ___________...

In spite of his resolve not to become overly concerned with the miko called Kagome, Sesshoumaru found her capturing his thoughts more and more. Sometimes they were small, fleeting thoughts, such as the strange dialect she occasionally used; or the brief flashes of curiosity he would experience when  she would blush heavily, looking embarrassed before excusing herself for some “alone time” in the woods.

Then there were times when she would stare off into space, appearing thoughtful or troubled, and he would find himself curious as to what she might be thinking.  

At times, she was standoffish toward him.

He hadn’t noticed it at first, hadn’t really cared. But, when their journey had taken them through a small human village a day or two ago, she had been friendly and unhesitant when speaking to the villagers there, almost as if she already knew them. She had worn a cheerful smile, helped an old woman with a heavy sack of rice, and waved goodbye to a gaggle of laughing children as they departed. The humans, normally wary of anything youkai, had hardly batted an eye at him. He hadn’t minded that so much.

When he had considered the young miko’s interaction with the humans, he’d initially concluded that the woman simply felt more comfortable speaking with those of her own kind. But then he recalled that she had spoken in the same carefree, lighthearted manner with Totosai.

Of course there were times when she would, seemingly forget to keep her distance with him, like the time when she had touched his armor at Totosai’s mountain. There were other times when she would speak with him as she would any other, but then she would trail off, becoming distant again and sending the occasional wary glance in his direction.

If he had ever given any thought to it, Sesshoumaru would have guessed that he’d prefer her reticence. She did not talk excessively, drowning him in a sea of useless words. She wasn’t constantly whining about her fatigue or spewing melancholic thoughts about how she missed her friends… and Inuyasha. She rarely complained, even when he could sense that she was bored, tired or unhappy.

Yet, he could always detect a level of… unrest, deep within himself, when the girl would close herself off to him. If, the daiyoukai decided, he were forced to explain this unanticipated reaction, he would guess it had to do with the inherent tedium of traveling. Listening to the girl’s chattering voice, however trivial the content of her discussion, would at the very least allow him a reprieve from his own dismal musings.

Glancing at her from the corner of his eyes, Sesshoumaru took in the serene, yet slightly discontented expression the girl now wore. Her lower lip held softly between her blunt human teeth, she walked leisurely at his side, her eyes glassy and distant as if her mind were a thousand miles away. What was she thinking?

Why, without even trying… did she intrigue him so?

“We will rest here.” Sesshoumaru said suddenly, jolting his companion from her spiraling thoughts.

“Oh,” she muttered distractedly, scanning her surroundings to see that they’d arrived in a small glade. Sparsely surrounded by trees and the occasional flowering shrub, the area was peaceful and quiet, the lulling calls of unseen birds adding to its idyllic tranquility. The air was so clean here, the miko thought as she slowed to a stop, dropping her traveling pack into the lush grass. It had always been one of her favorite things about this time. Of course she’d miss the scents of her own time when she stayed away too long, not to mention the fast food, the indoor pluming, the electricity… the people.

Kagome smiled wanly before lowering herself to the ground, placing her large weapon to her right as she crossed her legs and plopped her hands into her lap.  

She wondered how long it would be before they arrived at Bokusenou’s forest. What would happen once they got there? What would become of Sesshoumaru? Would the old tree youkai be able to help him, or at the very least, point him in the direction of someone who could? How was this all going to play out, and what…what was going to happen to her when this was all said and done?

In spite of her promise to DaiGin, Kagome found herself  wondering if it would really be possible for her to remain in Sesshoumaru’s presence for very much longer. He was… well, quite frankly, he simply made a very poor traveling companion; at least in her opinion. Optimistically, she had dared to hope that he’d eventually warm up to her, at least a little, but most of her attempts to talk to him were met with short, direct responses, if in fact the daiyoukai deigned to say anything at all. Unlike every other person or youkai she had ever met, she found it extremely difficult to connect with him. Half of the time he was completely emotionless, and the other half he seemed on the brink of killing something.

‘Although, he did let me borrow his pelt.’ the miko remembered suddenly. Her cheeks flushing slightly, the miko recalled the night when Sesshoumaru had carefully tucked the thick fur around her. That had been pretty nice of him.

Actually, he had done a number of things that, considering how stoic he always seemed, were really considerate. If only he were a better conversationalist, she thought with a sigh.


She’d been so determined to befriend him, but the challenge of doing so turned out to be more than she’d imagined. Silence didn’t seem to bother him at all. In fact he seemed to prefer it. It was difficult to think of anything to say to the inu lord, as he didn’t seem terribly interested in anything she had to say, nor did he seem eager to tell her anything about himself. After all, he wouldn’t even tell her why they were going to see Bokusenou. Though when she thought about it, it seemed likely that he wasn’t sure about that himself.

The untrained miko glanced over at him and was surprised to see that he was staring at her. Suppressing a gasp as best she could, Kagome attempted to think of something to say. Before she could do so however, she heard the daiyoukai ask, “What are you thinking of?”

“Wha--” she began, her mind attempting to recapture its train of thought. “Oh, um, its nothing you’d be interested in, I just…”

“While that may be true,” the youkai cut in blandly, “I still expect you to answer my questions.”

Huffing indignantly, Kagome folded her arms over her chest and turned away from him. ‘What a jerk!’ she thought, scowling as his words replayed themselves in her mind. “I don’t have to answer to you Sesshoumaru! I’m not one of your subjects! Besides, why’d you ask if you weren’t interested!?”

“Why indeed…?” he murmured noncommittally, his voice edged with something like mischief.  

Kagome turned to glare at him over her shoulder and was surprised to see the faint smirk that tilted the edge of his lips. If she didn’t know any better, she’d have sworn the daiyoukai had been teasing her just now. Not only that but it seemed like he’d gleaned a bit of amusement in doing so.

Frowning, Kagome tried to make sense of the exchange in her mind. He’d never teased her before. Sure she’d witnessed him toss snide, cutting remarks at Inuyasha and others, but this was different. It was as if he was trying to get a rise out of her or something.

Deciding to simply go with… whatever this was, she brushed her thoughts aside for the moment, unfolded her arms and turned back to her previous position. “Well if you must know,” she said, “I was thinking about you.”

“Is that so?”

“Yeah,” she admitted freely, ignoring the trace of warning in his voice. “I think,” she began, taking a moment to order her thoughts. “I think it would be nice if we… talked a little more. You know, tried to get to know one another.”

The look he gave her wasn’t’ terribly encouraging, but the miko pressed on anyway. “It occurred to me just now that, maybe you haven’t had very many friends in your life. Maybe you never wanted any.” she added softly.

Nervously, the priestess averted her gaze, her fingers plucking at one of the long blades of grass that had sprawled itself over the bend of her knee. “But,” she began again, daring a peek at him from the corner of her eyes. “It might not hurt to have just one.”

“Hn,” the demon lord huffed lightly. “Don’t be ridiculous. This Sesshoumaru has no need for--”

Kagome sighed loudly, cutting him off before he could finish. “Yeah, yeah, I know you don’t need me to be your friend Sesshoumaru. But since we’re traveling together, it’d be nice if we could at least try, you know. I mean, what do you have to lose?”

Sesshoumaru did not answer her, but the miko did not miss the thoughtful look in his eyes before he scowled and turned away.

…_____________________________________________________ _______________...

‘Stupid grass stains!’ Kagome grumbled mentally. During their rest periods, the miko had began using the free time to practice with her naginata. She’d quickly discovered that she could infuse her powers into it, igniting the blade in an iridescent pink glow as it sliced through the air around her. It looked pretty cool if she did say so herself, and would definitely come in handy for fighting demons.

Of course she’d never had any formal training with the weapon, but that didn’t mean she couldn’t practice on her own. Though it was noticeably taller than she, the naginata was light and fairly easy to maneuver. It cut through the air with ease, though keeping herself balanced while she wielded it was something she still needed to work on.

Gasping as her clothing nearly slipped from her fingers, the miko returned her focus to the task at hand. Dressed in her damp, white under kimono, Kagome scrubbed her hakama in the shallow waters of a stream. A short time earlier, she‘d waded in a few feet and seated herself on a large boulder. The swiftly moving waters would not have been her first choice in which to wash her clothing, but the area was secluded enough and the water was clean, clear and most importantly, available! The miko and her traveling companion hadn’t come upon a body of water suitable for the task of laundering her clothes in the past few days, so she felt  it best to take advantage while she could.

They were getting closer to their destination. According to Sesshoumaru, they would arrive at Bokusenou’s forest some time tomorrow. Even though it was the demon lord who was seeking out the counsel of the ancient youkai, the prospect filled her with a faint sense of worry. She didn’t know Bokusenou, had in fact, only heard traces of information about the old tree demon, but she worried that he might not have the answers Sesshoumaru was looking for.

During the time she had spent in his presence, the miko had begun piecing together the  tiny tidbits of information that the inu lord tried to keep from her. She was a miko after all… well sort of. She could detect demonic auras at any rate, and all around her she could feel the youkai that trailed them during the day and night. Each day, they grew weaker and weaker, and many had already died off. What was frightening about this, was the fact that the ones that remained were ten times stronger than the ones that had perished. At the rate things were going, it would only be a matter of time before they stopped hiding in the shadows and attacked!

Having thought it over one sleepless night, the miko had concluded that the youkai most probably were after her. She had, after all, absorbed a great deal of power when she’d destroyed the Shikon no Tama. Even though the jewel no longer existed in it’s original form, much of it’s power continued to exist within her. It was easy to guess that the youkai desired this power for themselves, yet they dared not draw too close, fearing either purification or the daiyoukai who constantly remained by her side.

Sesshoumaru’s youki had changed as well. The new armor he wore seemed to keep it fairly steady, but she could tell that he wasn’t as powerful as he used to be. Whatever was happening to all the other youkai… it was happening to him too.

Sesshoumaru was… dying.

Well, maybe not now because of the armor, but how long would that hold out? The thought weighed heavily upon her heart. Maybe Bokusenou would be able to help after all.

She sure hoped so.

Pulling her mind away from her melancholy thoughts, the miko gave herself a light shake, and held her hakama up for inspection. The grass stain was mostly gone, though a tiny smudge of green remained. “Oh forget it.” she muttered quietly. She stood and began wringing the water from her clothing as best she could. When she was satisfied, she turned and began heading back toward the shore. Unfortunately, the untrained miko did not notice a pointy stone beneath the water until she stepped on it. Crying out, she quickly pulled her injured foot away, overbalanced, and fell into the water.

The rushing waters pushed her over, and over again, ignoring her feeble attempts to find purchase on the many stones that pebbled the stream floor. Water rushed over her head causing rivulets of black, water logged tresses to fall into her eyes and mouth. She couldn’t see, could hardly keep her head above the waves, and could not seem to grab hold of something to keep herself from washing further and further down the stream.

The water was picking up speed. Her racing heart drummed in her chest as she continued to struggle against the relentless tide. Arms and legs flailed uselessly in and out of the water as blind panic consumed her. She managed to cry out again, her voice garbled with water before a violent wave pushed her under. The back of her head was thrust against a stone, and the miko instantly went still, her limp body left to the mercy of the rushing waves.   
…___________________________________________________ _________________...

The first thing Kagome became aware of, was warm, moist air rushing into her lungs and something covering her mouth. She felt herself convulse violently as she pushed something, or someone away from her and began to cough. She rolled onto her side where she continued to cough uncontrollably, expelling warm water into the soft grass. She clutched the lapels of her kimono just above her racing heart, her mouth opened wide as she greedily took in much needed air. Frightened and disoriented, the priestess tried in vain to understand what had happened.

“Kagome…”

Turning toward the sound of her name, the miko calmed immediately. Her gaze was met by none other than Sesshoumaru. Silver, water logged tresses clung to his brow as thin rivulets streamed down his face. His eyes were slightly wider than usual, his lips parted just a little as he stared at her.

Suddenly, it all came back to her; the stream, the rushing waters, and then it had all went black. She’d nearly drowned, and apparently… Sesshoumaru had saved her! Irrationally, she felt warm tears well up in her eyes.

“I’m so… I’m so Sorry Sesshoumaru! I-I hurt my foot and I slipped! I didn’t mean to…” she gasped, feeling weak and stupid for having put him through the trouble. “Look at your clothes! They’re all wet! They’ll be ruined!”

“Kagome.” the inu lord spoke again, attempting to break into her befuddled ramblings.

She only continued to cry, her words becoming more and more muddled as her emotions began to consume her. Grasping her by the shoulders, Sesshoumaru gave her a light jolt, attempting and failing to gain her attention.

“I didn’t mean to cause you so much trouble!” she was saying. “I’m supposed to be trying to help you but I’m not! Not like this! I should have been more careful!”

The demon lord did not understand what was happening with the girl. She was alive, she was safe. Why was she behaving this way? At a loss for what else to do, the daiyoukai pulled her to him, his powerful arms enveloping her tiny form. The miko gasped and instantly went still. Then slowly, almost as if she feared his reaction, Kagome snaked her arms around his waist. Tears continued to stream down her face, her lower lip trembling lightly as she began to calm down.

“You saved my life Sesshoumaru.” she said at last.

“I offered you my protection, did I not?”

“Well yeah, but…” and then suddenly Kagome became aware of a strange sensation upon her lips, a feeling she hadn’t noticed before. She looked up at him, though he continued to stare listlessly at some indistinct place beyond were they sat in the moist grass.

“How did you… what did you do?” she asked, almost afraid of what he would say.

“You required air.” he answered blandly, softly.

Closing her eyes, Kagome was immediately greeted by an image of Sesshoumaru leaning over her, his lips pressed against hers.

‘He kissed me!’ she thought almost giddily. ‘Sesshoumaru actually kissed me! Well, not really, but pretty close!’ She smiled, feeling strange and surreal and only slightly guilty when she thought, ‘Too bad I missed it!’   

Absently, she wondered how he knew to do that. Well, it didn’t really matter she supposed. He’d apparently gone to the trouble of pulling her waterlogged body from the stream, before breathing precious air into her lungs. She slowly reached up, her fingers finding a lump on the back of her head. She winced, and attempted to pull away. Sesshoumaru made no move to release her.

“I think,” she began timidly, “I think you can let me go now.”

He was silent for a long time. “No.” he finally told her, pulling her more securely against his own warm, hard body.

“O-kay, um… why?” she wanted to know, her voice quiet and slightly breathless.

“The night grows cold. You will become ill.”

“We could… always build a fire.”

The daiyoukai didn’t seem to have an answer to that.

The miko had nearly died today. He could still remember the sound of her panicked cries as the rushing waters forced her down the stream. When he’d seen her, he’d thought she was already dead. A sense of urgency had shook him to his core, and without thought he’d dove into the water to retrieve her.

She wasn’t breathing, so he had breathed air into her. Never before had he felt so compelled to aid a human being, or any one for that matter! And so, Sesshoumaru had pinched her nose, pressed his lips to hers, and forced air into her body. He could not explain, even to himself, why he’d been so determined to bring her back, nor why he’d been so elated when she awoke. It was almost frightening.  

He’d tried to ignore these strange feelings, tried to tell himself that he’d embraced her only to silence her senseless rambling, but now… now he could not summon the will to let her go.

Feeling tired and defeated and relieved, the inu lord sighed softly into the cool night air. Careful of her injury, he threaded his fingers through her hair as he gently coaxed her to rest her head against the softness of his pelt.

“Rest miko.”
…___________________________________________________ _________________...

Yes, it has been a long, LONG time since I updated. I really hope this chapter came together okay. I started the beginning months ago, and even though I re-read it… kinda, I just don’t know how well it all flows together. Anyway, I shouldn’t have that trouble with the next chapter because I’m hoping to finish this story pretty soon. I’m thinking 3-4 more chapters at the most.  

Well, hope you all enjoyed this latest installment!

TTFN!
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