InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Absolution: The Collected Chronicles of Miroku and Sango ❯ Foolish Heart ( Chapter 13 )

Sango soon discovered that time really didn't heal all wounds. She missed Miroku but pride wouldn't allow her to call him and she wasn't really surprised that he hadn't called her at all. Late at night, as sleep alluded her, she kept seeing Miroku's face as she told him of her decision that fateful morning…

 

“I think we need to stop step back from this. Until you resolve your issues, I think having me around only complicates things.”

 

Miroku stared at her blankly; the last vestiges of sleep leaving him.

 

“How can you say that?”

 

She stood up from the bed and began pacing.

 

“Do you think this is easy for me. I've spent all night thinking about this!”

 

The silence lasted for an uncomfortable amount of time.

 

“You! You! You!” Miroku suddenly raged. “It's all you!”

 

Sango cringed as she saw Miroku's eyes grow hard and cold. Her heart began to race as Miroku left the bed and began to walk towards her. Clad only in sleep pants, she could fully see the flush of anger over his body. Before she could say anything, he had grabbed by the upper arm and started pulling her out of his room.

 

“Miroku! What are you doing?” Sango cried as she struggled with the viselike grip he held her in, barely keeping her feet under her as she was dragged down the hall to the front door. He stopped long enough to grab her bag and shoes. Flinging open the door, Miroku tossed the items in the hall. Pulling Sango close to him, his cold eyes swept over her face.

 

“Stay away from me. I'm sick of people playing games with my life. This was the last time it'll ever happen.”

 

Sango tried to reason with him. “But I wasn't…”

 

Miroku pushed her gently but firmly out the apartment. Stunned to find herself there, she could only stared wide-eyed at the man across the threshold. Her heart cracked at the hurt that flitted across his face seconds before it returned to a cold, impersonal mask. Words clogged her throat and her eyes began to burn.

 

Miroku could feel himself going numb. There was no more pain, just a ball of ice forming where his heart used to reside. Watching the woman in the hallway, Miroku felt a vague twinge of regret.

 

“You know, I can't help but wonder if you figured out the reasons why you're running.”

 

She could only watch as he closed the door. The tears began as she heard the sound of the locks sliding into place. Slowly she picked up her bag and slid on her shoes. This hadn't gone like she planned…

 

 

Sighing, Sango got up and dressed for work. It was Friday and it had been a soul-sucking week. She was grateful that things had been so busy in the office these past two weeks that she really didn't have time to think about Miroku during the day.

 

“You can't be a fool again, Sango.” She kept reminding herself but what could she do to appease the little voice in the back of her mind? It kept calling her out and forcing the truth on her in the middle of the night.

 

“When did you become a coward?”

 

Turning up the music to her ipod, Sango drowned out the nagging voice in her head. However, it seemed even the kamis were conspiring against her. Every song that came on spoke of love and being there through thick and thin. In frustration, she threw the ipod across her office, cringing as it smacked into the wall. She knew it was only two o'clock but she could no longer bear being in the office. Barely keeping the growl out of her voice, Sango buzzed her assistant and let her know that she was going home. Before the poor girl could respond, Sango slammed the phone down, grabbed her things and left out through the conference room door, trying to avoid any of her coworkers. She felt snappish and knew that she'd take it out on the innocent.

 

`All I need is a quiet ride and some peace and maybe some sleep. Then I can stop having crazy conversations with myself.'

 

ooOOoo

 

“Coming!” Sango fumbled with the keys as the phone rang insistently. Falling into the apartment, she tripped over her dropped items as she scrambled for the phone.

 

“Hello?”

 

“Sango, dear, did I catch you at a bad time?”

 

Sango sighed. Pushing the disappointment down, she put on her best cheery voice.

 

“Oba-san Kaede, how good to hear from you.”

 

Laughing into the phone, Kaede could hear the false cheer in Sango's voice.

 

“I was just calling to see if you were coming down tonight or tomorrow morning. You haven't forgotten about tomorrow have you?”

 

Sango gasped. In all the turmoil, she had forgotten Saturday was Kohaku's birthday. How could she have forgotten her only little brother's birthday?

 

“I'll be there tonight. I just came in from work and was packing a small bag.”

 

“That's lovely. You can be here in time for the dinner.” Kaede listened carefully for Sango's response. She knew this was a touchy subject for her. Sango's visits had been few and far between since the disastrous almost-wedding two years ago. Kaede also knew if it was anyone else but Kohaku, Sango would have skipped this celebration.

 

Sighing, Sango gave in. “Very well, oba-san, I will be present for dinner. Now let me get off the phone so I can get the train on time. I'll see you in two hours.”

 

Ten hours later…

 

With a cup of hot tea in her hands, for the first time in several weeks, Sango was at peace. It had been almost eight months since she had been home and she had forgotten the comfort it provided her. It was bittersweet, really. Looking around at the old pictures, she could remember how she and Kohaku came to be there. They lost their parents in a car accident when Kohaku was six and she was eleven. Kaede had opened her home and her heart to the orphans and Sango was grateful for that. They grew up loved and to be sitting across from Kaede made her life seem a little less hectic. It was almost easy to forget Miroku…almost.

 

The dinner was beautiful. Kohaku was thrilled to see her and she was glad to see his fiancée again. Rin was a beautiful girl and she truly loved Kohaku. He had bought her to Tokyo a couple of times to spend time with Sango and she enjoyed the younger girl's company. It had been heartening to see the family together again, celebrating a happy time. Sango sighed. It had been too long since she had been home.

 

Kaede heard the sigh from Sango. She had been watching her niece all night and while Sango put on a happy face for Kohaku, Kaede could see she was deeply troubled. Asking her to have tea this late at night was an attempt to get Sango to talk about her troubles. They sat at the worn kitchen table, not speaking. Kaede knew that Sango would talk if she weren't pushed into the conversation. After ten minutes of sighing and silence, her theory was proved correct.

 

Quietly, Sango told the story. She described how she met Miroku and everything that happened between them up until the fateful day at the apartment. By the end of the story, Kaede was holding one hand and Sango was wiping away tears with the other.

 

“I feel like such a fool.”

 

Sniffing, Sango continued to dab at the stream of tears.

 

“He told me I was running. But I'm not running. I'm just not going to allow anyone walk over me again.”

 

Patting her hand, Kaede tried to offer comfort.

 

“We all make mistakes. Sometimes the hardest thing to do is get past our fears and allow in the possibilities of being hurt again.”

 

Anger blazed through the tears as Sango stared into the calm eyes of Kaede.

 

“I am not afraid of anything! I've faced every challenge that has come my way head on!”

 

Kaede sighed. This wasn't going to be an easy conversation to have with Sango but it was one that should have taken place years ago.

 

“Sango, I hate to say this but it's time to hear it. You've been running ever since Yukihiro broke off your engagement. You moved to Tokyo and except for my and Kohaku's birthday and New Year's Day, you haven't been back. Sweetheart, you didn't even come home for Obon.”

 

Kaede could feel her own tears stinging as Sango cried harder. When the wedding had been called off, everyone was horrified for Sango and helping her tie up loose ends. No one noticed was the way she withdrew from everyone except family. Three months later, she was gone to Tokyo for a job no one knew she had even applied for. Kaede had assumed Sango had at least informed her friends but to her shock, she had cut off everyone and simply left.

 

“You can't keep running from pain. It will find you. But there are happy moments, too, and you are denying yourself those.”

 

Grabbing a paper napkin from the table, Sango wiped her eyes and stood up.

 

“How can you say that? There is no way I could stay here. Poor, pitiful Sango. Yukihiro did so much better by leaving her and going back to his previous girlfriend. Do you think I didn't hear what they were saying about me? Except for you and Kohaku, what's even here for me?”

 

Kaede watched as Sango paced in the tiny kitchen.

 

“No one said those things. If anything, they directed anger at Yukihiro for doing such a dishonorable thing.”

 

Sango whirled to face Kaede, her eyes were filled with rage and hurt. At that moment, Kaede feared for Sango's sanity. She had only seen that desperate look on Sango's face, at the same table, the night after her parents' funeral.

 

“They were thinking it! Do you honestly think that someone would want me? I wasn't good enough to marry so obviously I'm nothing!”

 

Crumpling in a heap to the floor, Sango's rant continued.

 

“Who would want someone who has been abandoned? Hell, my own parents left me. Yukihiro just proved what I already knew. Who am I to ask someone to fix themselves when I'm so broken.”

 

Kaede knelt on the floor beside Sango and held as she cried uncontrollably. Gradually, the tears slowed and Kaede began to speak.

 

“I know this is hurting so bad right now but you buried it all. Letting go of this anger and pain is the first step.”

 

She lifted Sango's face and with a tissue wiped away the tears.

 

“Do you honestly think your parents would have left you and Kohaku alone in the world by choice? They loved you both so much. Nothing but the kamis themselves could have taken them away.” Cradling the heartbroken girl to her, Kaede continued.

 

“You are so beautiful, my child, and you have to believe this. There is someone out there who will love you, warts and all. The key is you have to let him in and don't let the fear rule you.”

 

Sango simply sighed and said nothing. Neither woman was sure how long they sat on the floor but, finally, Kaede stiffly moved.

 

“Come on, dear, let's go the bed. These old bones aren't meant for the floor.”

 

Sango stood and helped her aunt from the floor. She continued to hold on to the old woman as they made their way down the hall. Standing in the doorway, she was reluctant to face the night alone. Kaede gently held her face and kissed her forehead.

 

“Rest, child. It'll be better in the morning.”

 

Sango could only nod, exhausted from her emotional outburst, and retire to her old bedroom. Listening to the sounds of the house settling, all she had the strength left to do was let the darkness claim her.