InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Absolution ❯ A Question of Time ( Chapter 4 )

A/N: Well then here we are again! One more chapter! This one is a bit boring, at least I think so, but it's necessary to do the sequence, and the story wouldn't work if it wasn't here. I have at least two more chapter to write ( don't ask me how did it get these long, I have absolutely, no idea!) I'm enjoying myself a lot, writing this one fic, and the next chapter it's already started. Now give me a piece of your mind! Do you think they'll meet in the next chapter? How do you think that'll be? What do you think Inuyasha should say or do to her? What do you think Kagome should do or say to Inuyasha? Review! Don't be shy! Who knows your idea won't enrich the story? Review with your idea!

Thanks all of you that have been following this! Chino.

Disclaimer: Don't own ear-man! ( nor Depeche Mode, who I still totally love)

 

IV- A Question of Time

I've got to get to you first
Before they do
It's just a question of time
Before they lay their hands on you
And make you just like the rest
I've got to get to you first
It's just a question of time

Depeche Mode- Question of Time

 

One month since she'd ended up here, three weeks had passed since she'd been enjoying this simplistic life. Here in the forest where Jinenji's mother had her little house, she lived peacefully with both the old woman and her strange son.

She practiced her Kyudo, something she'd given up at such a long time ago, when she was sixteen, she also got to prepare herbs and learnt how to distinguish them with Jinenji's help. He was very kind, in spite of having a strange physical appearance, he liked to help her or simply sit back and watch her do things. Sometimes it was odd but most of the times his company was welcomed by her.

The old woman was, in the least weird. Short-tempered and ill-mannered; had once been a beautiful maiden who had fallen in love with a ba-youkai. But she'd forever blame her hanyou son, for being scurried out of the small village near the sumida, she used to live in. People couldn't, did not know how to accept such a strange little hanyou boy as he'd been, they certainly could accept him even less now.

About what had brought the petite woman there, she reflected as she bended to pluck some plants out of its roots nested in the earth, Kagome almost refused to think about it willingly. Since she'd to dream about the previous moments of her live time and time again, she couldn't move on. And each time she saw pained, abandoned golden eyes in her mind's eye, her resolve crumbled and she felt compelled to come back.

But truth be told, she was in love with him as in the beginning of it all. She may had had this idea before of leaving him, and probably this outcome, the accident and ending here with Jinenji had been fate, but she would never stop loving her inu-hanyou, and even now, right now she missed him so much that it was a feeling that crawled under her skin, seemed to ate her very insides. But, she convinced herself, that this was the right thing to do. They're both damaged people attached to each other by some bizarre addiction. But he loved Kikyo, and she'd let them be happy. Be happy, to her, was all Inuyasha ever deserved.

The winter's wind slapped her kimono against her skin, her raven tresses flew wildly too, and she hurried to prevent the effort of an afternoon - her herbs- to fly.

Jinenji Got up from his sit in the ground where he'd been watching her and smiled kindly, lifting the basket from her and leading the way, not saying a word. He wasn't a talking person, but his gestures most of the times were enough. Thus she followed him silently, more or less satisfied, as satisfied as one got when broken inside.

“Ano…Kagome-san?” he broke the silence, and that made her wonder. If the silence was ever broken, was because she asked him something, urged him to talk. What could Jinenji want to say? Despite all of those thoughts, she immediately rose her beautiful gem eyes to meet with his of a strange bulbous proportion, in sea-blue.

“Hai, Jinenji-kun?”

“Jinenji knows Kagome-san is tired of living in the country” his big bulbous eyes never once turned to her; they kept searching for the route that would take them to the small house in the forest. Kagome blushed immediately and tried to deny it. With a kind smile and shaking her head and hands her voice shook in nervousness:

“Ii-iie Jinenji-kun, that's not true…!” Jinenji didn't stop walking but kept on talking accompanying him in his giant steps.

“You see, you and Naoko-baa-san have been very kind for me and I could ask for nothing else.”

“But you're still in love with our prince.”

His voice never changed tone, his knowing smile never faltered, his eyes never met hers, and his hands never stopped carrying the herb basket. But Kagome, she wavered.

To her mind, came the night when after a week, and when she was sure Jinenji and his mother didn't want to hurt her and were happy just by having her there, for some change, she told them their story.

More particularly to Jinenji who'd wanted to hear her, after the old woman had left the room to go sleep in hers (maybe pondering, if she too should have “Fled from unrequited love” all those years ago, as the Kagome told them that that was what she'd done. Those words alone, made her leave the room).

Anyway, Kagome had told Jinenji how she loved the one who'd hurt her because he took advantage of her for his own pleasure, for his own relief, how she meant nothing to him, how he loved another. He'd heard her through the night, had hear incidents, she'd cried in his thigh. And finally when the flames of the bonfire in the middle of the ancient room slowed and didn't lick the walls so high she asked him if she could stay.

“Hai” he nodded, but then went back to his musings, and as she observed his strange skin tone change under the flame's magic, she decided to ask.

“Is something wrong Jinenji-kun?” Jinenji then turn in his rags and directed her a sharp look, one she was sure no lies would pass through.

“How much does Kagome-san knows about Youkai administration?”

“Uh…” her throat clogged. She knew only that he had a somehow important, very, very important place in that. He was some kind of prince. She had never been interested in it, neither had he… But why would Jinenji ask? The only think she knew was … “I know there is a protocol, although I don't know it, and I know the Inu-no-Taisho is your ruler.”

“And yet, Kagome-san doesn't seem to think that it is important to mention that the man who broke her heart, is our prince.” She looked petrified at him, her eyes of a frightened grey and his eyes met hers again for some time, but he looked at the blazing embers. He knew she was surprised, but he'd heard her call his name. And his name had been specifically ordered by his father, she remembered Inuyasha once telling her as much, and now Jinenji told her as much.

“The previous Inu no Taisho, Toga-sama, mated Izayoi-sama some time ago, and from their union came Inuyasha-sama. They died in an unfortunate situation. Toga-sama was killed by Ryukotsusei, and Izayoi-sama died afterwards in what is only normal for mates. The responsibility of taking care of the, then 5 year old, Inuyasha-ouji-sama was given to Sesshomaru-sama. These stories are known by all the youkai community. When you screamed that name it was impossible for me to remain ignorant.”

“I'm very sorry Jinenji-kun, for not having told you. I just don't want to go back, I'm … serene here.”

Jinenji then smiled at her quietly, gently, one of his monstrous hands, ruffled her hand slightly, and she wanted to cry for this good giant who'd, she was sure, let her stay.

“Kagome-san can stay, but Kagome-san can't tell Okaa-san of this story. She's very afraid of the youkai law, and if she knew we're breaking it, then she'd not only throw Kagome-san out, but also she'd punish Jinenji.”

“Domo Arigato, Jinenji-kun “She'd said to him, her grey eyes brimmed with tears of gratitude.

“Kagome-san, can stay,” he repeated , more to himself then to her, lost in his musings “but has to be careful with the orange eyed man.”

Back then, when only a week had passed from her refugee time, she didn't answer anything else; also because she was tired and truly grateful to Jinenji to even ask more questions.

But now as they walked the path to the simple but much esteemed house in the forest, which they could find between the greenery and the canopies of trees because of a single strand of smoke elevating in the air, she couldn't stop the restlessness due to his statement, she also couldn't lie to him.

“Jinenji-kun, what I feel for Inuyasha, has nothing to do with me staying here. It just feels good to be here, it's quiet and calm…”

“But you miss the city.”

A sigh left her plum lips and she muttered.

“Hai.” She turned to him and looked deep into her eyes “I have many curiosities Jinenji-kun.”

“Expose them, then.”

“Why can't I- if I don't want to be discovered, - go out alone? I doubt I would found you prince in this ward. And, who is that men that I have to hide from when he comes here? Is that the orange eyed man I have to beware of?”

Jinenji sighed and offered her a kind of pained and knowing smile that got to her heart. They're almost reaching the house, but he stopped and sat on the ground, like he'd been doing before, and she was confronted with his image, he'd been renounced, rejected, beaten, and taunted, like many other hanyou.

Oh! How she missed hers.

More than her family, more than her house, more than the city. Did they think she'd abandoned them? His eyes didn't meet with hers again.

“The orange- eyed man is Kigatsuku-san. And he is one of the workers for Sesshomaru-sama. His job consists in giving a monthly document to youkai. It's month pass, it means we've passed inspection- Zouyoshousho. To be accurate. He sends reports to Sesshomaru-sama if something is off with some youkai. Now we hanyou have to present every fortnight, or else we'll be hunted. It's no big deal, there's always a houkenikken, a house of presentation, nearby. But they don't like me to walk to the city, I attract too much attention. Therefore Kigatsuku-san usually comes here.”

“Wha-What? Is Youkai law that strict?” she inquired. Never Inuyasha, or Koga, Ayame… or even Sango - that was a taijyia and should know this things- had explained this to her. She thought it was pretty damn interesting. Jinenji plucked some wisps of greenery from the ground and rolled them between his fingers. Then he plucked some more and threw them in his basket.

“Yes, but most youkai agree with it. Don't get Jinenji wrong Kagome-san, Youkai society is not a democracy, but we have had a good generation of rulers so far. The Inu clan is the only Household that could rule over us.”

Jinenji smiled again, and she thought that in his unnaturally rose cheeks she saw a blush, and smiled too.

“Anyway. The last time Kigatsuku-san was here, he said that he couldn't come here, he didn't gave Jinenji an explanation, but he gave me this.”

His hand buried in his tattered and wrinkled clothes and when it left them a silver necklace came into view.

“Kigatsuku-san gave this to Jinenji; he said that it would make Jinenji human for a few hours, like in the night of the almost round moon.”

He extended it to her a d she grasped the accessory. It was a silver chain, heavy and thick. She didn't like it; a course of energy shocked her hand when she touched it and she let it fall to the ground.

“Jinenji is going to the city tomorrow; does Kagome-san want to come too?”

Forgetting the fallen necklace she shot to her feet and ran to him. In both her hands she held one of his much larger one.

“Arigato, Jinenji-kun.” A tear fell in their hands but she smiled “Domo arigato”

 

You have to prove her Inuyasha. She has to be proud of you.

This though had become a somewhat obsession mantra in his head. Through the day, he went to college, and then came home, to the shiro since he couldn't enter in the Shibuya apartment since she had disappeared, because it still smelled like their coupling, and did his prince duties (he would spend at least two hours every day, signing papers and writing letters). But at night… he would spend his nights travelling over Tokyo and the amount of space in Honshu he could run to find her. However he was no longer rational, he never even followed the Sumida anymore. The prince just run through buildings and forest, a desperate cry forever clogging his throat, and sometimes, to the moon he howled her name, in hope she'd hear it and forgive him, and most of all, come back to him.

But these actions were starting to take a toll on him. He was always tired and even grumpier than the usual. Sesshomaru and Rin had moved to the Shiro for him not to be alone. He rarely even talked to them. Sango and Miroku were a regular visit, and to them he talked, he had made a promise to Sango, and he and Miroku were like brothers, they talked, and shared moments, like before.

No. Nothing was as before. Nothing ever would be. There was a hole in his life, he now, was calmer, he didn't snapped with them, but he was mellow and distracted, always lost in his melancholy, in moments in the past that had brought him so much joy. Whenever she had been nearby… He missed her so much; he missed cuddling in her lap and smell her pure scent more than anything. However she wasn't here and he was fading away little by little, in a silent cry for help.

Help that didn't came, because she didn't come back.

Where was she? Was she… ok? A month had passed… didn't she care? Why didn't she come back…? Was she dea…?

That was the limit for his thoughts and before he fell again in that cell of glass beneath him, in the dungeons of his own shiro.

“Inuyasha-sama, did you hear anything of what I just said?” He was suddenly pushed from his thought when the voice of his chubby panda-youkai secretary drifted to the air, a little higher than usual.

“Sorry Yukiko, could you repeat that?”

“Inuyasha-sama you seem tired, maybe I should book you the Spa…”

“No. None of that girly shit. What were you saying? What's in schedule today?”

“Well…” the chubby woman, a little older than himself, maybe in her early thirties, cleaned her throat and looked nervously at him, her thin eyes showing concern over what she'd seen on the book.

“It's nothing…sir.”

Yukiko had heard the rumors about what had passed in the shiro a month ago. They're correct. But what should she do? Inuyasha hadn't said a word about it to her, of course not, she was only the secretary, but she wanted to do the right thing, and right now she had “Kagome's birthday planning” with a big cross on it, and in bold capital letters “TAKING KIKYO OUT”. What would the right thing be?

“Nothing? Funny, I'm sure this day's important.” He narrowed golden eyes to her and extended a tired yet firm clawed hand. Yukiko swallowed audibly and took a step back.

“Give me that Yukiko.”

“But… Inuyasha-sama…”

“Damn it! Give me the book Yukiko” he growled through clenched teeth as he got up and advanced to her. His beautiful whitish silver hair stroking the air in swishes. His order was the most tranquil he could muster. And surprised, Yukiko obeyed, and gave him the book.

It was with a perplex glare, that Inuyasha horrified himself over what he found. With a choked voice he managed to ask.

“Why would you mark this thing on the same day Yukiko?”

“You…you told me to sir. You told me that Kikyo-san couldn't go out in another day, and I should cancel everything I had for this day. Anything at all.”

Grasping it so tight, Inuyasha was afraid he would rupture the leather cover of his agenda, he read it again. Collapsing in a velvet chaise longue, he was awestruck.

“Get out” because I need to cry.

“Do you need anyth…”

“Get the fuck out!”Do it quickly, I can't hold it in much longer.

She ran to the door, stumbling in a red carpet and closing the oak doors audibly. He paid attention to none of it. A tear fell from his tired eyes and he choked on a sob. Curling in the chaise longue his whole spirit paralyzed in that book.

I did it over and over again didn't I Kagome? How can I ask you to forgive me?

Absolution would never be granted. He wouldn't dare asking for it.

But he loved her so much. Now that she wasn't here, he lived their time together over and over again in his mind, and fell in love with her every time he remembered, how kind, how generous, how genuine she'd been over the time they'd get to know each other. And then how passionate, how devoted and desperate she'd been to receive his touch to lick his anguishes away, to simply hold him, to share his pain, to make him forget it. To love him.

She was the most amazing woman in the world.

And he'd forsaken her, when she could have anyone else in the world. His possessiveness rose when he remembered how many times Koga the ookami no ouji had tried to steal her for him. But she had always refused his advances with a kind smile and eventually she returned to his bed, to his arms, her lips would return to his. She could've anyone at her feet; instead she'd choose to heal his wounded heart, injuring herself in the process of doing so.

Getting up quickly and walking to his desk he removed from a drawer, the tattered wife beater she'd worn that last night and which he had ripped, that Miroku had saved when he'd gone to his apartment two weeks ago.

He smothered his air passage with it, as if it was a filter and turned his whole world in her, as he closed his eyes, sat back and relished in her scent permeating him.

A knock on the door shook him from his misery and he immediately ordered to enter, reestablishing the ragged piece of clothing to the drawer and turning amber orbs to the door.

Any information about her whereabouts could come, at anytime of the day. He'd to be always available; therefore he cleaned his tears with his sleeve and took a deep breath, his amber pained eyes focusing on the door. Who knew if it wouldn't be someone with news that would make him jubilate?

A man with orange eyes and dark hair that came to his shoulders finally entered and bowed deeply from the waist, waiting for his acknowledgement.

This was Kigatsuku, an owl youkai who worked with Sesshomaru for as long as he could remember. Head of one of the most important houken ikken in all of Tokyo, Kigatsuku was in charge of surveying a certain area and granting the most… difficult Zouyoshousho. Like in Jinenji's case, the ba-hanyou would attract too much attention if he directed himself to the city. Therefore he'd been assigned an hour and a day, and every week Kigatsuku himself, would go to the small house the hanyou protection had given to him. And his mother after they'd been scurried out of the small village they used to live in.

What could Kigatsuku want?

“Kigatsuku, what are you doing here?”

“Inuyasha-sama” the man that appeared to be in his mid-thirties but who Inuyasha was sure was maybe in his mid two-hundred or something like that was one of Sesshomaru's best men, he had served their house for many years and was one of the most trustful subordinates they had. Weary orange owl-like eyes fixated on his golden ones and he started to explain “My lord, the militia gave me indication that there is a panther menace in my ward.”

Inuyasha's eyebrow's downed dramatically over his eyes. A panther threat? Right when Sesshomaru wasn't here? And especially when his own mind wasn't here either? It was somewhere he didn't know with her, faraway, a runway…

“How do they know?”

“There has been a secret cell working in Okinawa for some them now, the militia has been keeping tabs on them without their knowledge. We found out they are preparing a rebellion starting in ÅŒta to then expand to all of Tokyo.”

Golden eyes narrowed and he looked through the grand windows on the castle's cold walls.

“We have to prepare a counter attack then. Call some military forces to meet you at the ikken.”

Kigatsuku swallowed and advanced, Inuyasha offered with an extended hand the chair in front of him. With a drained expression Kigatsuku accepted and faced him very stern demeanor.

“Inuyasha-sama, most of our special forces, are focused on the searches for Kagome-sama…”

Inuyasha's eyes immediately hardened on the owl man in front of him. What should he do? His heart his very interior didn't consent that he'd stop searching for her, that was like admitting defeat, and he'd never be ready to do that… But he had to do something about the panther menace… The youkai community was under Sesshomaru's power, and he was now replacing Sesshomaru for as long as he was in Kyushu.

“Call the closest, my brother is in Kyushu and he should be warned, tell someone to deliver the message… no, wait. I'll do it. Just send half of the search team to Ota and the other half will keep searching. The panther clan has decreased over the years, and they don't have half as many members as they had.” His claws thundered in the hard surface of his wood desk. His eyes in synchrony with his mind, because right now, this was serious and they had to focus.

“Shouldn't we arrest the ones that we already know are planning this? Toran, Shunran and Karan have been the leading ones, they've been in the past and they're now…”

Inuyasha was left to thought for some seconds.

“I don't think so. Arresting them without them doing anything will only serve to stir their clan and others that will think we're being unfair. Order them to follow the rebellion since their hide-out and when they come to Ota and start the insurrection, arrest them all.”

Kigatsuku's eyes brightened at his young lord's wisdom and cold head, something he'd never witnessed coming from Inuyasha-sama, he was very young for a youkai, barely twenty years old, merely a pup, but he'd learnt well with Sesshomaru-sama who was indeed the best heir for politics. He assented and waited for dismissal that would come in a short nod from the inu-hanyou who was now currently mused and enthralled in his thoughts. After he got up and when he was reaching the door however, there was a hesitation, and Kigatsuku stopped. His shoulder-length midnight hair whipping with the force of the movement as he turned and addressed his lord.

“Inuyasha-sama?”

Inuyasha got out of his daze and looked at him expectantly, as if to ask why he was still there.

“Jinenji will be coming to the city tomorrow; I gave him a magic infused medallion. I have to be there, can't forsake my place there, Kami knows that those cadets, barely out of the military school, don't know how to do a thing without orders. I fear however that his security will be threatened.”

They knew how Jinenji affected Inuyasha. He was also a hanyou; he mirrored the situations Inuyasha, throughout his infancy, had suffered, except he still suffered them. He unlike Inuyasha, hadn't proved his power to anyone, he had no power. And the attack to a hanyou now could prove to be as prejudicial as the panther threat.

“I'll assure everything will be fine with Jinenji” The dog-eared man offered in a monotonous voice.

Kigatsuku assented and got out, thinking just how he was going to do it.

Inside the office Inuyasha grabbed his cell phone and called Sesshomaru.

It took at least five rings for his older brother to pick up his cell phone. And when he did, he didn't sound pleased at all:

“What?”

“Keh, what are you pissed about? You're on holidays!”

“Listen baka, I've told you before I'm not on holydays! I'm doing diplomacy, which is your work, except you don't want to get out of Honshu.” A pregnant pause followed as Inuyasha tried to erase his statement from his mind. Of course not, how could he do it if he had to stay here when she was found…? She was going to be found… by him or by some other forces, she was going to be found, and she'd come back. Swallowing hard he ignored that comment and went on.

“Not too bad you have to come back then.”

“Why is that?”

“We have a situation. Ota ward is under the threat of a panther insurrection.”

“I see” He said after being quiet for a while “have you done what has to be done already?”

“Yeah... I called half of the forces here to stop them… the other half is still on the search team.”

“Inuyasha…”

“Don't start ok? I've told you before Sesshomaru, she fucking alive!” The frustration of a month slamming down, with his hand on the wooden desk and it splintered under the force of his anguish. He took in a harsh breath and drew it back out in a choked plea for help. Help that still wouldn't come because she wasn't there. She wasn't with him.

“Look, if you really believe that, then start searching for her because as long as the panther threat is hanging over our heads… You don't understand… you weren't born yet but there has no limits to their revenge. They'll take everything from you…I'm glad I have Rin with me…”

“What are you saying?”

“If you believe she's still alive, then I believe it too. Maybe you're right, maybe if she was indeed dead, maybe you'd still dead too, but is she is… pray to the Kami that you'll find her first”

He swallowed hard in acceptance of his advice and closed his eyes, his head falling in the supportive hand that was balanced in the splintered wood of the desk.

“Understood.”

The signal went out.

Inuyasha looked in a daze to the carpet under his tabi clad feet. How had things gotten even more difficult?

Still he couldn't, wouldn't let those panther get their mangy paws on Kagome. Too many people had abandoned him, to many times. He wouldn't them. Even if they didn't harm her, he knew panthers, even if Sesshomaru thought he didn't, he knew, they'd make her hate him if she didn't yet. They'd a way of getting into people's mind, to twist thought and feelings into dark monsters…He'd never let that happen to Kagome, they wouldn't even get to touch her.

He'd get to her first.