InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Accidentally Funny ❯ Raid - A Miko's Best Friend? ( Chapter 11 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

Raid – A Miko's Best Friend?

With a wicked gleam in her eyes, Kagome chortled to herself, leaving everyone in camp to shiver, and move away from her.

Ever since the other day, when Naraku had shown up for the betting pool, and then decided he liked Kagome better than betting, she'd been fuming, and plotting. And it was making everyone, even Sesshoumaru, a tad bit nervous.

Not that the Inu Lord was all that happy that Naraku was now drooling over his female, either – because he wasn't. And it was quite obvious that he was also plotting the downfall of the spider with more vigor than he'd ever shown before. But he was quiet while he did it – Kagome wasn't. And she was scarier for the noise.

The third person that was pissed about Naraku's interest was Inuyasha. Now, the hanyou was a different matter – he didn't bother with plotting or planning – he simply cursed and muttered and threw temper-tantrums all over the place. And there was a new tract of farm-land to prove it – he'd removed a whole section of forest with just a few well-placed wind scars. But the rest of the group was used to his tantrums, and pretty much ignored them, maintaining their equanimity.

The fourth, and last person that was having kittens about Naraku, was Koga – but with the other three that were angry, Koga was nothing spectacular – and so once again, he found himself being pretty much ignored. The only time he weighed on anyone's mind was when they'd idly start to wonder when he was going to go home.

What a sad comedown for the prince of the wolf-tribe – when even humans didn't bother to fear him. As the trip progressed, his disposition soured greatly – but he was still dense, and refused to leave, much to Kagome's dismay.

Miroku was the only one happy with the turnout of the last betting pool – since he no longer had a cursed hand to deal with. Well, that was not quite true, as now both hands had taken on a cursed aspect – but not the same kind of curse as before. And the only one to think it was a curse at all, was Sango – since now, both of the monks hands had a tendency to take up residence on her backside at any given moment.

The groups introspections were interrupted by Kagome's voice. “Sango, do you mind if Kirara helps me out – if it's okay with her?”

Kirara and Sango both looked up at her as she stood up. “Umm, I don't have a problem with it,” Sango said as Kirara mewed her agreement. “Do you need to go home?”

Kagome nodded firmly. “Yes, but just to get something. I'll be back through the well within an hour, so if you could wait for me, Kirara?” she asked, and Kirara mewed agreeably.

Inuyasha went to open his mouth, but Kagome glared at him so hard, that his ears snapped back against his head and he shrank back, closing his mouth so fast his teeth almost fell out from the impact.

“Well, then go ahead, Kagome – see you in a while,” Sango grinned back at her, knowing that Kagome was up to something – and intensely interested in finding out exactly what it was. And while the rest of the group eyed the little priestess uncertainly, nobody had the nerve to say anything, and soon, she was gone, nothing more than a speck in the sky as she flew off on Kirara.

Sure enough, the girl was back not three hours later, a huge, nasty smirk on her face, and a brown paper bag in her arms. While everyone looked on with confusion, she kept the bag closed so that no one could see what it contained, simply taking it and setting the bag in her pack – and closing it tightly, with a pointed glare at everyone, clearly telling them all to stay out of her pack if they valued their lives.

Nothing more was said about the matter for several days, though everyone was just about dying of curiosity. It wasn't until the next time they saw Naraku that they all found out just how evil the little, unassuming miko could be.

With a smoothness the spider hanyou had never before shown, he appeared in their camp, paying no attention to anyone but Kagome. As the stunned group watched on, Naraku attempted to be seductive, using the stolen body of Kagawaki, the handsome young lord, to attempt to gain Kagome's favor. He was about to gain something, all right – but it wouldn't be her favor.

“Ah, Kagome, my lovely miko, I trust that these barbarians that you are traveling with have not stressed you unduly? Perhaps you would grace me with your presence for a meal – and I could show you the comfort that I could offer you, compared to what-” he glanced around disdainfully, “-these other rather pathetic suitors are obviously willing to give you.”

Kagome stared at him flatly. “That's funny, Naraku, since it's because of you that I'm out here in the first place. If not for you and the jewel, I'd be at home – which I can assure you, is better than anything any of you could offer me. I don't need a man – err, spider – to provide anything for me.”

Naraku smiled, her defiance turning him on, but before he could say anything, the surprise that had held the rest of the camp silent wore off – and Sesshoumaru and Inuyasha began to stalk forward, intent on destroying the newest competition. They stopped cold, however, when the miko reached into her bag, and pulled out the oddest contraption that any of them had ever seen – and they saw her smile.

Kagome idly shook the spray can that she'd brought from home, and grinned at the suddenly uncertain spider. “What would it take for you to go away, Naraku?”

He drew himself up. “Nothing will persuade me to give up, Kagome,” he vowed.

“Oh, really? I'm actually glad that you said that, because now I have a reason to use this!” And she advanced on him, and held her finger over the trigger, letting out the most noxious fumes Naraku had ever been exposed to. It was way worse than his miasma, and within moments, he was laying on the ground, out cold – and Kagome was giggling. “Raid... a miko's best friend,” she sighed happily.

The rest of the gang was staring at her in awe, but Inuyasha got the idea that it was time to kill Naraku, since he was just laying on the ground in front of them, out like a light, and began to draw Tessaiga. However, before he could do the deed, Kagura rushed in and rescued the unconscious spider, pulling him onto her feather and moving out of reach.

“I hope you know, Kagome, that what you just did will only make him hotter for you,” the grossed out wind witch said. “He likes disgusting, dangerous things. You'd have done better if you'd found something that smelled good.” With that, she flew off, and Kagome narrowed thoughtful eyes, considering what Kagura had just told her while ignoring the uproar going on in camp as everyone exclaimed over the cans of Raid.

Well, at least it chased him off for now...

But... maybe I should bring Febreze next time, instead, hmm? And then she sighed, as she looked back at her three canine suitors.

If only it were so easy to scare off dogs...