InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Aftermath's Destruction ❯ And So It Goes ( Chapter 13 )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

Oh God, I'd forgotten about the singing… Try to enjoy this chapter despite that.

Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha, nor the song I used by Billy Joel.

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Aftermath's Destruction

Chapter Thirteen: And So It Goes

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The weather.

Yes, that's what was on Kagome's mind at the moment. The weather. It was so…surprising? Instead of being mild, like the past winters, the snow was horrible. This was the first night that they didn't even have flurries.

Kagome sighed. She'd just have to wait for January, and then the weather should calm down. By then it would just be bitterly cold, but snow wasn't likely to fall.

Not that she hated snow. But after a few months of seeing nothing but dirty white, and slush, a clear landscape would be nice. Not to mention that as soon as spring came, her birthday would be closer.

Twenty two years old. Another thing that was on her mind. Would her twenty second year of life be better than her twenty first?

Naraku had died during that year. She didn't exactly sympathize with him, though; it's not like she wished him back to life. But still, no one deserved to die the way he did. He fell off the roof of a 40 story building for hell's sake!

Ouch.

But still, if it hadn't been for Naraku, she'd never have met Sango. Or Miroku. She wouldn't have met Inuyasha either.

Inuyasha. The third thing occupying her mind.

Their relationship was so…so…weird. Since the first time they met each other, at his own parade, they'd argued. They still argued. Then again, he also watched over her and protected her. He gave her a job, a home, and a distraction from her problems. He took over the role of a big brother for the boys.

The boys. The final thing in her mind.

Where were they? Were they safe? Hurt? …Dead? Kagome didn't think so. Ever since she was a little girl, growing up on the shrine with her odd little family, she'd had this kind of intuition. It was like she could always tell what was going on if she looked deep inside herself.

Kagome snorted. What a load of Poppy Cock.

"Intuition, my ass," she grumbled under her breath. The same 'intuition' that was now telling her that the boys were alive didn't warn her that they would be taken. Seriously, come off it. If she had this inner sense that she'd always believed in, wouldn't she have known something bad would happen the last time she saw Souta?

Kagome decided it was time to change topics again…

…back to the weather. Oh joy.

'It really is pretty,' Kagome mused as she looked out the window. It was a large bay window in one of the studies, the chair where she was currently sitting, a nice large leather one, faced it. It was almost two in the morning, the moon was almost full, and the moonlight reflected off the fresh snow.

The air smelled of cigar smoke, and peppermint. It was comforting, and dull enough to just tickle the senses. The room was small, or as small as you could get in Inuyasha's house, and rather cozy. Bookshelves covered three of the four walls, all except the one with the window, and they were covered in thick volumes. The books were worn with scrawled writing over the spine.

Besides the chair where the black haired beauty was curled up, was a large carved desk. Papers, yellowed with age, were scattered over the top along with more books and pens.

Everything was covered in a thick layer of dust.

It was Kagome's favorite room in the entire house. It was tucked away and no one seemed to know of it.

Inuyasha had found her one morning, a few weeks before, standing in the room and enjoying the view. It was then that he told her that this room had once belonged to his father, the late Inutaisho. It was his personal study, and no one was allowed in it.

After much grief on Kagome's part for trespassing, Inuyasha had merely smirked and told her she could come in it whenever she damn well felt like it. Inutaisho was gone and the study needed a new owner. She fit the part, he'd said.

For some reason or another, Kagome seemed to find herself wandering in here at least once a night. She had horrible sleeping habits, but the room comforted her.

So here she was, cuddled into the worn leather chair in the dark, thinking.

She wasn't alone.

In her lap, curled up into a small ball, was one of the seven baby kittens. This one was the smallest, the runt of the litter. It was tiny! Kagome could hold it in her two hands cupped while it's brothers and sisters were at least twice the size.

The sweet little thing was almost entirely white, except for one black ear. Kagome had become attached to it as soon as she got a look at the cat. It was a baby girl.

Of course there was someone other than the cat there too. But this person Kagome didn't know about.

Inuyasha stood outside the door and looked in, leaning comfortably against the wall. He'd come every once in awhile during the night to check up on Kagome, and he always knew were to find her.

The young woman got tired of thinking about the weather, and then found her thoughts on something slightly random. Her Aunt Mai.

Mai was an older woman, her short black hair peppered with gray, her brown eyes dulled with age. But she was still beautiful, no matter how old she was.

Kagome had been fascinated with her since she was a little girl. Mai was her father's sister. The siblings had shared the same smile, and after Kagome's father died, the little girl enjoyed staying with Mai.

It wasn't until Kagome was older that she realized that Mai wasn't married.

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"Why?" A small girl, perhaps nine or ten, asked. She was sitting in her beloved aunt's lap while both sipped at their lemonade trying to fight away the hot summer day.

"Because your aunt is an old woman, too old for love," Aunt Mai would reply, a twinkle in her chocolate eyes.

"Oh, Aunt Mai!" The young Kagome giggled, wiggling around in the older woman's lap. "You're never too old for love!" She announced, her own ocean eyes sparkling with an inner light. The eyes she'd gotten from her father.

Then Aunt Mai smiled; it was a smile that held a secret. "You're right, as always Little Kag-chan, but it's too late for meto love."

Kagome's pouted, her eyes crossing in confusion. "Aunty Mai! Don't say that!"

Then the older woman said something that made all young children cringe. "You're too young to understand, Kagome-chan."

The little girl stuck her chin out in defiance. "Mama said that when Daddy went away, and I understood then! I'm ten, I can understand." She looked pleadingly up at the elder female.

Aunt Mai caved. She always caved. Sighing at her own weak will, she told Kagome something that no one knew. Except for her little brother of course, Kagome's father. "Alright…Can you keep it a secret?"

"Of course!" Kag stated, indigently.

Mai laughed. "I was in love once…" her voice trailed off, her eyes unfocused as she gazed out into the distance at something only she could see.

"Really?"

The elder woman laughed. "Yes, really. His name was Rei Taiyou. He was so sweet, a little gruff maybe, but sweet."

Kagome giggled. "Gruff, huh? Sounds nice…I guess."

Mai laughed some more. "It was…" she breathed. "That was about thirty years ago, when I was almost twenty three."

Kagome's stormy eyes widened, "You were younger than Mama once?"

Brown eyes rolled. "That was a long time ago, your mama would have been…oh…only five years old then."

The niece hummed in understanding, but kept silent so her aunt could go on.

"He asked me to marry him."

Now Kagome couldn't keep so quiet. "But if he did, where is he?! Did you say no, and that's why he isn't here anymore?"

"…I said yes, Kagome-chan, and we got married."

Kag's face scrunched up in concentration. If that Rei guy married her aunt, wouldn't he be her uncle? Where was he then?

Mai's eyes, previously dreamy and happy, became somber. "That's why I can't love or marry any more, Rei still has my heart."

Kagome didn't understand.

Mai shook herself of her memories and looked down at her baby girl. "Kagome-chan…Rei is where your father is." She couldn't find herself to come right out and say that the love of her life had died. Kagome was still struggling over her father's death.

"Oh," Kagome became quiet. "So you can't love anyone cause Rei stole your heart?" she asked finally.

Mai laughed again at that. She liked that explanation. "Yes, Rei stole my heart and now I can't give it to anyone else."

Kagome grinned, the serious topic beginning to fade away. "Okay," she chirped. She drained the rest of her lemonade through her straw and looked around at the shrine. It was silent today.

That was when Mai started to hum, and soon the humming turned into singing.

Kagome never forgot that song.

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Kagome laughed silently. That had been so long ago. She hadn't really understood then that Rei had died and wouldn't come back, which had shattered her aunt's heart. Mai had loved her husband to the fullest and never could bring herself to try and fall in love again.

Last year, Kagome had gone to Mai's funeral. Her loving aunt had died in her sleep at the age of 62 because of heart complications.

The ebony haired woman believed the complication had been a broken heart.

And that song still reverberated in her head. She still remember every word even after so long; like Aunt Mai, it seemed to hold a special meaning for her.

That was when Kagome began to hum.

Inuyasha, just outside the door, had been about to leave, but stopped to listen. Kagome wasn't the best singer, but she had a sweet voice. One that was simple, soft, and full of love.

The kind that a mother uses to sing her children to sleep with a lullaby.

"In every heart there is a room,

A sanctuary safe and strong,

To heal the wounds from lovers past,

Until a new one comes along." Kagome stroked the top of the kitten's head as she sang softly. She would always love and miss her aunt. The woman who had taught her so many things, and had kept the memory of her father alive even after his death. Kagome had been told once that she had both of their smiles.

It made her proud.

"I spoke to you in cautious tones,

You answered me with no pretense.

And still I feel I said too much,

My silence is my self defense.

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"And every time I've held a rose,

It seems I only felt the thorns.

And so it goes, and so it goes,

And so will you soon I suppose," The verses seemed to hold a secret, just like Aunt Mai's smile.

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"But if my silence made you leave,

Then that would be my worst mistake,

So I will share this room with you,

And you can have this heart to break." Inuyasha let a wry grin cross his face.

Kagome sang like his mother had sung. They had the same love and heart in their voices. He missed his mother, she'd died when he was so young and he remembered so little about her.

Kagome had this way of stirring the protective feelings inside of him that he'd felt for his mother. They were so much alike, that he just couldn't bring himself to see her hurt.

It almost made him sad to see her so broken right now. When she was alone she didn't wear any illusions to keep people thinking she was okay. She looked how she felt.

Worn. Tired. Sad. Angry. Broken.

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"And this is why my eyes are closed,

It's just as well for all I've seen,

And so it goes, and so it goes,

And you're the only one who knows." Kagome was so tired of all the bad things in her life. Didn't she deserve a break for once?

Why did life just have to keep throwing her trials?

Fate sucked.

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"So I would choose to be with you,

That's if the choice were mine to make.

But you can make decisions too,

And you can have this heart to break," The lyrics almost had a poetic ring to them. They rhymed, sure, but they were also so full of feelings and heart.

They were beautiful and haunting. And so very true…

"And so it goes, and so it goes,

And you're the only one who knows," Kagome finished slowly, the air felt heavy around her. Looking up from the kitten's ears, she almost expected to see Aunt Mai there and smiling at her.

Her father's smile.

A few years ago, Kagome had the conclusion that Rei was the one who knew of Mai's pains, and that she was singing the song about him. And to him…

It seemed Aunt Mai had known that, even though he was dead, Rei was still there to listen to her.

'Then who is the one that has my heart in his hands?' Kagome thought, bemused.

"Nice song," A voice drawled from the doorway.

Kagome jumped, and turned a wary look to Inuyasha. "Don't do that," she hissed, the sad mood of before forgotten. "You nearly gave me a heart attack!"

Inuyasha smirked and walked in, sitting on the arm of the chair. Kagome was so small, and took up so little room, he probably could have sat next her in the large chair if he'd wanted.

"It seems very fit-" he began, but Kagome cut him off.

"Tsume."

Inuyasha bit off what he was going to say and blinked back at her. "Huh?" What did his middle name have to do with this?

Kagome grinned at him and lifted the sleeping kitten from her lap. She gently laid the small body in Inuyasha's hands. He stared dumbly at it. "Her name is Tsume."

"…Really? Why?"

Kagome shrugged and stroked the top of the fury white head. "I don't know…I just though it fit."

Inuyasha glared at the top of her head. "You named a cat after a cat hater's middle name?"

Kagome laughed a little. "Does it matter? I think she likes it…" She murmured at the kitten began to purr contentedly.

Inuyasha sighed in frustration. Kagome was so weird sometimes…

"So…what were you thinking about tonight?" he finally ventured, breaking the comfortable silence.

Kagome stopped the petting and leaned back into the chair, tucking her legs under her. She stared out the window and at the snow. She loved the night…

"Aunt Mai and Rei Taiyou."

Inuyasha stared at her, but she didn't seem to notice. There she went again, making no sense what-so-ever…

"He was the uncle I never knew," she explained simply. "I didn't even hear of him until I was ten…"

"Why? Did he divorce her? Your Aunt Mai?"

A small humorless laugh slipped past her lips. "No. He died."

"Oh…uh…I'm sorry?"

This time the laugh was more of a laugh. "Don't worry about it. He died before I was even born. Aunt Mai died too…"

"Oh."

"We were close. She reminded me of my father," she confided.

"…Really?" Inuyasha scratched at the back of his neck. He wasn't good at this kind of conversation.

Kagome nodded. She didn't care if he cared, she just wanted to say it to someone she didn't mind talking to.

They lapsed into another silence and sat there, looking at the snow outside. Inuyasha jumped when he felt a light weight on his shoulder; looking over a little, he saw it was Kagome's hand as she looked up at him, her blue-gray eyes half lidded.

"It's late, I think I'm going to," she interrupted herself to yawn widely, "go to sleep," she finished.

Inuyasha shrugged, "'Night," he grunted and watched her stumble up from the chair, the kitten safely cradled in one arm. With one final wave, she disappeared from the room, on the way to her bed.

Inuyasha thought about her. Kagome was this lovely creature who had the misfortune to attract every bit of trouble around her…and had firmly attached herself to his arm. Not literally, but still!

She was tough and stubborn, but at the same time weak and…well, pathetic. She wouldn't have survived without her friends, even if she'd refused to admit it. She also had the annoying habit to take care of everyone except herself.

It disgusted [okay…okay, 'worried'] Inuyasha, and she had the nerve to refuse his help! Not that he'd offered it very obviously. He was tired of sticking around and doing nothing to help find the boys. The cops were complete morons, and Inuyasha'd have a better chance at tracking down Souta and Shippou. The police needed to search harder.

Seriously, who in hell could hide over a hundred kids! It's not like you could just dress them up and tell everyone they were dwarves…and be believed anyway.

"Fuck," he cursed, glaring out the window. Inuyasha didn't give a damn about the cops any more, if the boys weren't found he'd just have to go out and get them himself. Damn police…

Now…where would he hide 112 brats?

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Kagome shoved open her bedroom door after she'd put the kitten back with it's brothers and sisters.

Sliding off her slippers and throwing her robe off, she straightened her long nightgown. Pulling her ebony hair back into a messy pony tail, she climbed into bed and slipped under the covers. Snuggling into pillow, another sigh passed her lips.

She didn't exactly like herself at the moment…

Lying in a nice, large, warm bed with clean sheets while her boys could be sleeping in the dirt for all she knew. She'd had a big dinner, not that she'd eaten much, and her boys could be starving.

Kagome flipped over onto her back and glared at the ceiling. That was when the tears came…

She rubbed at her stormy eyes to try and wipe them away, but only managed to make her cheeks raw and red. After sniffling a bit, feeling a little sorry for herself, she started to get angry.

Throwing her hands up, the woman then rolled onto her stomach and screamed into her pillow, making her throat sore too.

How dare she?

Feeling sorry for herself didn't help anything, God damn it! It just made it all worse. Crying wouldn't bring the boys back, pity wouldn't keep them safe. Kagome slammed a fist into her pillow.

Fate forbid anyone ever seeing her like this.

The closest she'd ever come to it was the tantrums she threw as a child. Her mother saw her then.

Kagome set her mouth in a grim line. She only cried like this, pitied herself like this, grew angry with herself like this at night where no one could see her. It wasn't like she was naturally so pathetic, her mind just liked to play tricks on her so late at night, taking advantage of the fact that she never slept well.

Taking advantage of the nightmares that plagued her.

And if she had one more dream where Souta or Inuyasha's head was sliced off she's scream! During the day Kagome could handle things, though.

During the day she had light, and her friends, and…Inuyasha.

Inuyasha. That made her want to scream too.

Bastard had the nerve to make her confused! One moment he's dragging her into an argument, then the next he was holding her well she cried. He'd insult her, but he'd also stay around her. Idiot…couldn't he make up his mind?

Sheesh, you either hated someone, liked them, or fell in love with them. Or at least that's how it's supposed to be; it's supposed to be that simple, that black and white. Was she such a weird person that he couldn't even make up his mind whether to hug her or yell at her?

Rolling her eyes at her side table, she was now curled up in the fetal position, Kagome pictured the lamp as Inuyasha so she could glare at it. It didn't help. Instead of making her angry, it had her blushing.

Feelings. Those didn't make her want to scream. Those made her want to slam something against a wall. Something breakable, preferably.

How did you know which feeling you felt? Was hate so different from love that you could tell? Didn't they both make you heat up, one in anger and one in desire or happiness? How was that so different? Didn't they both make your insides tie themselves in knots? With hate, you made yourself sick with rage. Love made you upset with anticipation.

Was there really all that much of a difference if you really thought about it?

Kagome blanched. Ugh. Right now, if both love and hate made you sick, then she didn't really want either of them.

…another question…

Why the hell couldn't she sleep? She was tired, both her mind and body, yet she couldn't force her lids to stay closed for more than five seconds.

"Wretched world," Kagome hissed upward. The poor ceiling seemed to be getting the onslaught of everything tonight.

Love.

You could love you mother, like she did Mama. You could love your brother and your grandfather, both were great guys. You could love your son, Kagome positively adored Shippou. And the whole being 'in love'…well, okay, so she didn't have an example for that one. Naraku could have, at one point, but that jackass got what he deserved…

Hope he was happy in Hell.

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"I didn't mean that," Kagome suddenly whispered reverently. As much as she hated herself for it, she'd never wish death on anyone. Even Naraku.

Except maybe the person who took Souta and Shippou. They deserved no less than being shoved off a high cliff.

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"Didn't mean that either…" Kagome winced. Damn her good nature.

Well…there was one thing for certain. Out of all the feelings she knew?

Confusion was the one she wanted to throttle.

And badly.

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Bankotsu balanced a pencil on his fingers, every once in awhile rotating it to a new position. It was almost 4 in the morning and he had yet to go to sleep. Why?

"I still don't think this is a good idea," one of his business partners, the only one in the room at the moment, hissed. The light from the ceiling fan glinted off of his bald head as Kaijinbo paced the length of the room.

Kaijinbo was not a man who was not in shape. Barely any of his black hair was left and his stomach was far from flat. But eyes glinted with malice…He was definitely one of Bankotsu's least favorites of the six business partners.

Bankotsu grinded his teeth together as he remained seated behind his desk, no matter how much he wanted to get up and strangle his partner. "I don't care what you think, I know that my plan is going to work. I've told you before that I wouldn't screw it up," the younger man ground out.

Kaijinbo never did realize when he was going to far. "You're a young, stupid man who has no idea what the hell he's doing."

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Bankotsu didn't like to be called stupid. 'Young' and 'man' was ok, but stupid was…well, not.

"That's it," the force of him standing sent his chair toppling to the floor. Kaijinbo stared in horror at Bankotsu, trembling in fear.

"W-what's it?" The balding man croaked.

Furious brown eyes met his own black ones. "If everyone is so sure that I'll fail, then I'll just have to prove that I wont! Get the boys, get Souta and Shippou, and send them up here. NOW!"

Kaijinbo stood there gaping.

"NOW YOU WORTHLESS PIECE OF SHIT!" Bankotsu roared, advancing on the shorter guy. He smirked smugly when Kaijinbo all but scampered from the room to do the boss' bidding.

"Idiot," Bankotsu muttered, returning his chair in the correct position so he could sit down. "As soon as Souta and Shippou get here, I can prove once and for all…"

A few minutes later, three figures stumbled into the room. The first was a scared shitless Kaijinbo.

Another was a tiny boy with auburn hair, his arm was wrapped up and tied up against his chest so that it wouldn't be moved too much. The last was a preteen boy standing in utter defiance. Anything Bankotsu had the nerve to ask Souta could go to hell.

Bankotsu wasn't one to take threats.

"You," he glared at the boys, "Sit down, now."

"I think he thinks he's Tarzan," Souta mumbled, a smirk playing at his lips. "Don't you mean 'You can sit down now' or 'you may sit down now'?"

Bankotsu backhanded him.

Shippou hurried Souta into one of the rickety chairs before the boss' desk. Kaijinbo stood at the door.

Bankotsu ignored his 'business partner' and focused all his attention on Souta and Shippou.

"Tomorrow, one of you two will return home."