InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ All But One ❯ Cookies of a Masculine Definition ( Chapter 10 )

All But One

Inordinately Late Disclaimer: Yeah, yeah, whatever. The same to you too, sweet-cheeks.

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Chapter Ten: Cookies of a Masculine Definition

As if to make up for few bright, summer-like days they'd had towards the end of January, the weather turned bitterly cold and wet. There was no snow - it wasn't quite cold enough for that - which made it, in Kagome's book, even worse.

The girl was with Sango in their room, both working on homework and with some music that Sango liked and Kagome preferred to some of the other options playing softly from the radio in the corner. It was yet another chilly, wet day, and the emptied recycling bin was being used to hold their umbrellas, which weren't dry just yet. Kagome thought of trying to fiddle with the old radiator to get it to put out more heat, but dismissed it. It was easier to just stay still and try to read.

The door to outside the dorm closed with a muffled bang.

"It's wet," Fuji announced as she made her way to her room. "Drip, drip, drip."

"When isn't it?" Sango said.

"It's the first time I've seen the need to actually own an umbrella," Fuji continued blithely if a bit miserably. "Good thing these are the shoes lined with duct tape."

Kagome twisted in her seat to look at Fuji as the other girl fumbled into her water-heavy coat for her keys. Normally, the door would have been open, but somebody had been spreading anti-foreigner propaganda recently, and Kirara was making Fuji and Inuyasha lock their doors just in case.

"You're soaked," she commented.

"Well, yeah," Fuji said, still fumbling, shivering and looking bedraggled. "I don't actually have an umbrella after all - grew up in southern California after all, so I'm used to earthquakes, not flooding."

"It's not flooding."

Fuji threw off her coat to seep into the floor and twisted through her wet clothes underneath. She glanced up, and Kagome could see that most of her makeup, excepting a very little along the upper eyelids, had been completely washed off. "It's a miniature monsoon season, is what it is. There it is. Either that or the rain god's discovered weed and is so high he can't make it all stop."

"That's not very nice," Kagome said reprovingly.

"I'm not very nice," Fuji retorted. "I'm cold and wet and I need to do laundry and I can't find a SASMP mentor because I'm `too barbaric to understand'." She shoved the key into the door and twisted viciously, only pausing to snag the wet and stinky lump of wool that was her new coat - she'd bought it over break, apparently - before closing the door firmly behind her.

"Well." Sango huffed, turning up the radio a bit. "Looks like she's got some problems."

Kagome looked at her thoughtfully and decided to change the subject. "Have you made chocolate for Miroku?"

"No."

"Did you break up again?"

"No."

"What's wrong?"

Sango sighed. "He wants children. I don't."

"And you're afraid that if you give him chocolate he'll think that you're okay with the kids idea?"

"Not exactly…"

"Then what is it?"

"There's another girl - she's out of college two years now, I don't remember her name. But she wants a kid, and I don't want to hold him back from the best chance he's got right now."

Kagome tried to think of something to say, but was distracted by the click of a door closing, and looked out of the room to see Fuji leaning against her door, dressed in a pair of fluffy sweatpants and an oversized sweater that had slipped down to show her bra straps - which surprised Kagome because they were red in contrast to the usual black. Plus, she was barefoot, which put her at about Hiei's height. [1]

Shorter, made to look smaller by that huge sweater, her face clear of makeup and her hair still wet, darker and clinging instead of it's usual almost fuzz, she looked a completely different person. "Hey," she said quietly. "Is something wrong?"

"Miroku has a chance to have a child," Kagome said, choosing her words carefully. "With someone else."

"I see. Can I come in?"

"Sure."

Fuji squatted in front of Sango, looking up at her. "Miroku is Buddhist, right? More than average, I mean."

"I think so."

"Then he holds compassion and loving-kindness dear, and he isn't going to make any big decisions without considering everything first. Sometimes, when you're together… He really, really likes you, Sango. If he thinks that you don't like him, he'll let you go, but he won't be happy. Okay?"

"How would you know?"

"I watch. Besides, I've liked people and let them go before." She glanced pointedly at Kagome. "Tell you what. It's too late to make chocolates, but Jei and Yuu from Yama, and Manten and Urasue from Hojo's group, and Van and Zora and Yura from Naraku's, and I and Maya are going to make cookies for tomorrow. We've got plenty of dough: would you like to make some too?"

"Oh yeah," Kagome said. "Tomorrow is Valentine's Day. I forgot. Now I feel stupid."

"It's okay," Sango said, getting up and almost bumping into Fuji, who she ignored. "I've been trying to forget myself."

"So are you going to make cookies?"

"Huh?" She looked at Fuji as the girl stood up - she still had to look up at her - and her face lost its expression. "No, I think I'll just go to bed. Tomorrow is going to be a long day."

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[1] Hiei is one of the tallest girls, despite any connection her name might have to other characters in other series'. In case anyone's interested, I based their height on Sesshoumaru's - he is, apparently, 180cm (5'11"), so Fuji with her shoes is 178.5cm (5'10"), Fuji without her shoes is 170cm (5'7"), and Hiei is 167.5cm (5'6"), approximately speaking.

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Kagome was just finishing up her homework in the hall because Sango was sleeping when a group of people, including Fuji, swept into the hall and a little further down, where they would hopefully not disturb anyone.

"Hey, Kagome!" Van said, waving at her. "Want to help us decorate our cookies? If you don't mind their squickiness, that is."

"Squick?" She got up and followed them, leaving her homework behind for later.

"Yuu is a pervert," a young woman she didn't know told her. "I'm Urasue, by the way."

"Kagome."

"Pleased to meet you."

"Same here."

"Pervert, hah," Jei snorted. Kagome remembered him from the bowling trip. "Can't even do porn right."

"Regular porn is so… common," the guy Kagome assumed was Yuu complained.

"Which is why we have disproportionate phalluses and sperm and a gay couple engaging in sodomy," Urasue said dryly.

"And lips and cuddling couples," Fuji added.

"Hmph." A large man with still-boyish features sat down against the wall, well out of the way of the cookies and the icing. "We have plenty of round and heart-shaped ones too, you ninnies." He looked at her and waved a hand in a sort of half-hearted attempt to recognize her. "You're Kagome," he said. "I'm Manten, and I'm only here because Urasue threatened to shave my head if I didn't."

"You'd probably look better without that crazy hair," Yura said. Kagome remembered her too; they'd shared a class last semester. She liked to play with hair and to make intricate designs out of straight lines and string.

"I like my hair."

"Yay for you."

Kagome sat down and looked over the cookies. On two plates there were circular and heart-shaped cookies, some better shaped than others. Another plate held strangely shaped cookies that - as she looked closer and saw the lines drawn into them - seemed to be of couples in various positions and man-shapes. Another three held `rocket ship'[2] cookies that were incorrect but blatant in their resemblance to the penis and testicles combination, lips (both open and closed), and…

"What are these? They look like sperm."

Yura grinned. "You're absolutely right." She grabbed one of the squeeze-tubes of icing and proceeded to make one of the sperm-cookies into a smiley sperm.

"That is so wrong," Urasue said, even as she took one of the cookie men and, with icing, gave him a smiling face and open shorts to reveal a badly shaped and misplaced penis.

"No, that's what's wrong," Yuu said, pointing at the penis.

"As if I've ever seen a real one to know!"

Manten snickered.

"Aw, ease up," Fuji said, painting an open pair of lips red with blue sprinkles. "It's only a freak accident that I'm not a virgin too."

"Freak accident?" Jei raised an eyebrow at her.

Fuji grinned at him.

"Otherwise known as getting drunk," Kagome said. Her hand hovered over the cookies before she chickened out and grabbed a heart cookie. "I was there. Where's the green?"

Mayu tossed it to her.

"Thanks."

"You were there?" Zora asked. She was working on one of the not-so-sexual couples.

"Yeah, I was actually the one drunk. Fuji just lost reason by osmosis or something."

"52 hours without sleep and a lot of caffeine." Fuji said.

"That makes sense."

"Can I have the green after you?" Yuu said.

"Sure."

"Thanks. So- but wait. You're both girls."

Kagome grabbed another heart.

"Is that what made it a freak accident?" Urasue asked.

"I'm not saying anything more in deference to the other people involved."

"There were other people?"

Fuji shrugged. She took a sperm and drew a smile and eye on it, then repeated the process.

"Kagome?"

"Hm?" She was almost done with this heart.

"Were there other people?"

She opened her mouth, and paused. "I'm not saying anything either."

"Aww, that's no fun!" Van said.

Manten snickered again. "Says the man who's making blue balls."

"Not as blue as yours."

"I don't think that blue is a natural color," Yuu said.

"Just goes to show how bad Manten's off, then." He finished and took another. "Pass the yellow, please."

Kagome took the yellow from where it was laying near her and tossed it to him, taking the red and a cookie man in return.

"How are you supposed to eat that anyway?" Yura made a face at the cookie Van was working on.

"The normal way?" Manten shrugged.

"There is no `normal way' for something like that!"

Fuji sat up and studied the thing. After a long moment, she said, "You break it into pieces."

Kagome grabbed the green.

"Hey!" Jei looked hurt.

"Well, that's how I'd do it, but then I don't like guys."

"But then how'd you-" Urasue broke off.

"That's what made it a freak accident," Fuji said, and took another cookie.

"That wasn't the only freaky thing about it," Kagome muttered to herself, then held up her cookie. "Hey, look! It's a stripper!"

"That's a stripper?"

"Yeah." She put it down and added something on a whim, then held it up again. "With nipple clamps!" [3]

Van fell over laughing, and Jei hid his face in his hand.

Manten snickered.

And the night wore on.

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[2] penis-and-testicles as a rocket ship: this is a reference to the movie "Death to Smoochie". Enjoy.

[3] I made this cookie. I have a picture of it too; if anyone wants to see it, email me.

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"How do you eat this thing?"

Fuji and Kagome were working on homework for the class they shared together in the hall. They looked up to see Sesshoumaru holding one of the `rocket ship' cookies.

"That's what everyone asks," Fuji said. "Have some sperm."

"… Thank you." He put down the one and picked up the other. "Not bad."

"Thanks." Kagome picked up what he'd put down and, catching his eye, put the entirety of the - er - long part in her mouth (since the cookies were much too short for accuracy, it wasn't hard) and then bit it off.

Sesshoumaru looked flustered, and sat down.

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Sorry people, that this is so much shorter and worse than usual. The joy and amusement of decorating mildly pornographic cookies from midnight to 2am on February 14th was difficult to transmit to writing. Besides, it's almost a month later.

Chevere: What do I think about homosexuality and marriages and law? `Yay', `meh', and `meh', in that order. There's actually been a lot of support for homosexual marriage despite what our `leading politician' might say. Also, there's some scientific thought going on that homosexual relationships are "a glue that helps hold… societies together" - quoted directly from an article in New Scientist, if anyone's interested. Personally, I think you should be allowed to marry whomever you want, regardless of physical sex. And that will happen, even if it is illegal, or becomes unconstitutional. Hell, in my home state, any sexual position but missionary is against the law, but nobody pays attention to that, do they?
I'd probably have a stronger opinion if I was more politically oriented, but I'm not. Besides which, I'm not sure I'll ever want to get married, anyway.

"It's the sweet truth you are twisting the plot around." Sweet is right! ^_^v And seriously people, college is a big place with lots of people. Not even Kagome is going to remember everyone - and the names are more for me than anyone else. Don't worry about it.

Sess/Kag - 16
Sess/Kag/Fuji - 6
Fuji/Kag - 5

There are other possibilities out there, if you're willing to vote for them!