InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Alone till Love ❯ The Reason ( Chapter 15 )

Mia: This is just me today people, and I'd just like to say that I know we haven't had a lot of action the past couple chapters, just more death and so on, but bear with us for just a little longer.....you have to remember how difficult this is. Losing everything you've ever known and loved is kind of hard, everyone......anyway, onward with the story! Thanks for keeping with us and don't forget to review!!


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Chapter 15: The Reason

Two months had passed since the death of Inu-yasha, and no word had gotten to Miroku and Sango yet. But though the thought of Inu-yasha and Kagome still hung heavy over them, Miroku had convinced Shippo and Sango that they mustn't go to them.

Time would be needed, and he was certain both Inu-yasha and Kagome would be fine. Powerful demons such as Riku and Danika would not have spared Sango, Shippo, and himself if they would've been interested in the death of Inu- yasha and Kagome alone. Miroku was sure.

"I cannot explain it Sango, but I do not think it wise to search for them. You must trust me on this." He had replied the last night of the second month. Sango had merely nodded solemnly. Questions that could not be answered haunted them all, like a shadow that clung to them throughout day and night.

As much as they all didn't want to admit the inexplicable restlessness that plagued them, the feelings were beginning to worsen. Would Inu-yasha and Kagome return? This was one question that occurred every morning, as the three waiting friends rose to find their companions still missing......

Shippo was taking this separation harder than other two of the trio, tears always evident on his little face and his lack of energy unnerving as well. Miroku and Sango tried their best to comfort Shippo in any way they could, but it seemed no words, no embrace on their part, would comfort him.

On the first day of the third month since Inu-yasha and Kagome had departed with Riku and Danika, the mysterious demon and elf that had come with even more mysterious reason, Miroku and Sango found Shippo sitting silently, face void of any emotion, before the nearby stream. Both Sango and Miroku kneeled beside him, gazing at the little fox demon intently.

"Are they coming back.....don't they like us anymore?" Shippo asked quietly, so uncharacteristically desolate that both Sango and Miroku were growing unsettled once more. "Of course they like us Shippo! But sometimes they can't help what happens......." Sango replied, her voice trailing off. The little kitsune's first question remaining unanswered, for no words would come to neither Sango nor Miroku. Finally after some amount of uneasy silence, Miroku stood and spoke at last, eyes misty and thoughtful. "They are coming back Shippo and they like us all very much, we are their friends." He said, confidently, smiling at the two beside the rushing waters of the river.

"They are both coming back." Shippo agreed, beaming at Sango and Miroku with dewy eyes.

"Definitely!" The three smiled reassuringly at each other, doubts still clinging to their minds, all the same. Would Kagome and Inu-yasha truly return? Would - could - things go back to the way they had been before?

The sun glistened in the river, sparkling and catching the beams of morning light. Just as the three turned, leaving the river behind, a single sodden garment of rich black silk floated by, out of sight in a single instant. The training of Kagome had come to an end, for now.

......Meanwhile......

"Riku, I must go. There is nothing you can say or do to prevent me from going to my friends! They've been ignorant of all the events because of us, and it's time they knew everything. I'm going tonight, whether you and Danika come or not!" An immensely piqued Kagome snapped, spinning around to face Riku, a scowl coloring her features.

"Kagome, this is not the appropriate time! Kouwyn, Kougen, Soul, Danieru, and Chito have been summoned and are on their way. They are your family!" Riku replied, calmly, though his eyes were narrowed almost angrily, "You haven't forgotten!"

Kagome glared at the mention of Soul and Danieru, but soon lost her anger in the memories of her elder brothers and friend.

The demon-ness' scowl faded after a few moments, to be replaced by a half- hearted smile. "Oh course I haven't......" she murmured thoughtfully, bringing the faintest hint of a smile to Riku's lips. Then Kagome seemed to snap back to reality, leaving her memories behind. "But Sango, Miroku, and Shippo are my family too......and they were Inu-yasha's family too......"

Kagome closed her eyes, remembering Inu-yasha once again. Never had he left her thoughts, through the two months of training that followed his death; training that only honed the already existing skills and training for emotional strength.

Even now Kagome found it difficult to speak of Inu-yasha. Yet Kagome knew it was something she'd have to disregard this difficulty, hard as it might be. Especially when she came to her friends at last......How would Miroku take the loss of one of his very close friends? How would Sango and Shippo deal with his death?

Still, Kagome knew she must tell them eventually.

"Kagome......" Riku sighed, resignedly. "Fine. We will come with you. But we cannot stay, nor can we drag them into this war. It is ours alone, you must understand." Kagome frowned, anger shining in her eyes.

"If it has anything to do with Naraku, it is their war as well, Riku." She shot back, not wanting to think of losing her friends again. She would have her family and some friends, but it would never be the same without Miroku and Sango's humorous relationship and Shippo's presence.

"Kagome, listen to me. We do not know if even we will live through this final battle, do you wish to involve these people? Friends who mean so much to you? You mustn't tell them of Naraku, though they wish for their revenge. This battle will not end as well as we wish, I am certain. Take my advice. I know of these things, sister." Riku said, coolly. A slight frown slid across his features fleetingly. "Fine. But you will face their anger when my friends find out, because their lives too have been drastically altered because of Naraku. Miroku lives each day uncertain if death awaits him and has faced the death of his father before his very eyes, Shippo has lost his mother and father, like us, and Sango she has lost her dear and only little brother, her father, and many friends and kindred. Riku, you understand so little of them....."

Kagome sighed inwardly. Her pain was so much now, she could understand her friends as never before. They had lost so much themselves......perhaps Riku could understand as well.

"I am sorry Riku, you feel my pain as well, I am sure. But enough of our troubles, I must go to them now. Follow me if you wish, but I must go.

That evening, on the last day of the second month, they commemorated the end of Kagome's training. Riku threw into the roaring falls, in which Kagome had meditated, the sash of raven silk that was stained in the blood of Inu-yasha forevermore, with a few words spoken in the old language.

The silk garment flowed gently through the stream and slid over the falls and out of sight. A single tear crept down Kagome's face, but she did not wipe it away. 'I still love you, Inu-yasha...... and I will see you again, some day......'

Just as Danika placed a comforting hand on Kagome's shoulders, gazing at her with rapt attention, Riku's eyes widened and he snatched hand into his inner-pocket of his clothing. The demon pulled out a tiny black, silk pouch, made of the same material as Kagome's blood-soaked robes had been.

"I forgot about this. I decided I would give this to you when you had returned from bathing, but somehow it slipped my mind......" Riku replied quietly, tone revealing his slight hesitancy. Kagome looked up at him, sorrowfully, realizing her eyes still burned with tears.

"Here." Riku whispered, placing the small pouch in Kagome's open hand. He closed her fingers over it, her hand wrapped in his. "Open it tonight, when you are alone." Danika smiled sadly, knowing it had some relation to the now deceased Inu-yasha.

Kagome gazed at her hand, the tears fading slowly. A gift? She frowned, but looked up at her brother all the same. "Thank you......" The demon-ness muttered, brushing her raven hair behind her ears silently. The three turned and left the falls, and their roaring song, behind them.

Danika and Riku had been long asleep, Kagome was certain, as she climbed to her feet and began to walk, back to the great waterfall. Emerald foliage surrounded the falls, and open, green grasses. It truly was a grand sight, and a wonderful place to think and meditate.

Kagome plopped down on the soft green grass, stars twinkling above her head. Moonlight fell slightly upon the falls, making them glisten and glow with an entrancing luminosity. Kagome pulled the pouch from within her robes, and held it in the palm of right hand. She was gazing at it silently, only the rushing water and evening breeze filling her ears.

With trembling hands, Kagome slowly opened the pouch, and reached her fingers in hesitantly. She pulled out a gleaming, silver chain with a small, engraved vial hung on the beautiful necklace. Inside the vial were grayish ashes - the ashes of Inu-yasha - she realized, throat tightening and eyes beginning to water.

The intricate words that engraved the vial were in the old language, yet Kagome found it simple to read aloud in the fluid language, the words written in the tiniest, most elegant cursive this demon had yet to see.

Her voice was shaky, sorrowful, yet she found it easy to read these words nonetheless. "My love for thee is eternal, though death may part us so." Kagome choked back more tears, letting her pain ease itself. No tears would bring Inu-yasha back, and Kagome realized with a watery smile, that Inu- yasha hated it when she cried.

Kagome slipped the chain around her neck, finding it fit quite well, though it was longer than it seemed. The beautiful vial, with the tiny script engraved all along it, was hidden beneath her robes. Kagome smiled ever so slightly as her hand rested upon the tiny, invisible lump beneath her clothing.

'Now you are with me in more than thought, Inu-yasha......I hope you are free from pain at last......' Kagome thought sadly, but footsteps snapped her from her more cheerful memories, ripping her back into reality.

The demon-ness inhaled, and the familiar, yet somehow stronger, scent of Inu-yasha filled her mind. Kagome became instantly aware that it was not her beloved hanyou, but his elder brother - Sesshoumaru. Her smile faded, to be replaced by a frown.

She hadn't breathed this scent since many a night ago, since the true death of Inu-yasha......it was painful, tearing up the horrid visions Kagome wished so badly to remain hidden within her. Yet the scent was also strangely intoxicating, and brought memories of happiness as well.

Sesshoumaru stood before her now, a tall and shining figure in the gleaming light of the moon. Kagome stood as well, slipping the now empty pouch within her pocket once more.

"Sesshoumaru." Kagome said, inclining her head slightly at the demon lord, afraid her voice would tremble and break, lost to the waterfall's song. Sesshoumaru nodded silently. "I sensed you would be here, Kagome." The demon replied a moment later, the fall's thunderous voice almost overpowering his quiet words.

Kagome hardly registered the use of her name in his greeting, and she stepped toward him slowly. "You wear around your neck remains of my departed brother, do you not?" Sesshoumaru asked after more heavy silence. His eyes scanned her slowly, making a slight blush creep upon Kagome's cheeks.

She refused to be embarrassed by his stare, and sighed loudly, to draw his attention away from her figure. Sesshoumaru exposed no shame as his eyes locked with hers. He gazed at her raptly, and Kagome gazed back, no longer fearing to meet his eyes.

Never before had Sesshoumaru shown as much interest and emotion as this night, Kagome was certain, but this unnerved her slightly. So much had changed since her true memory had returned, since the death of the only man she had ever loved.

Beautiful yet sad, she was. As if she were an eternal night, no longer expecting the warmth of sun......so Sesshoumaru believed. Yet he wondered to himself, what had drawn him here? What had forced him from his many obligations? It was not the ashes of his brother, he did not want them. Yet......

Kagome broke away from his intense stare once again, turning her back to him as she approached the nearby waterfall. Though she did not know what made her inclined to do so, she spoke to Sesshomaru. She spoke to the demon as she never thought she could, to Riku, to Danika, to anyone - let alone him.

"Sometimes, when I came here......I found myself thinking, 'Why do I even try? What else is there to live for now?' I didn't see a reason anymore, because I had lost so much." Kagome began slowly, voice barely distinguishable above the waterfall's roaring, "I had forgotten so much that had at one time been so important, it seemed I had lost my mother and father, my friends, Inu-yasha over and over......with every morning I woke up to see the sun and the blue sky, and realize nothing was left......"

Sesshoumaru stepped towards her gracefully, until he stood beside her, a distance away, but close enough to make Kagome pause and inhale slowly before speaking again. Both stared into the depths of the water, into the misty fog of the falls, and the clarity and beauty of the stream.

"I don't know, but somehow......"Kagome paused suddenly, "......Am I boring you, Sesshoumaru? I know my petty little sorrows must seem insignificant to you. Perhaps to you, my life has no reason. And yet......there is more for me here, and I cannot explain why......I had dwelt on reason and cause for so long, before realizing as I have tonight, that life has no explicable reason. Is that why you are here now? Beside me, listening to me, though we barely know each other?"

Kagome stopped, eyes never leaving the great waterfall as they began to shimmer with suppressed tears. She had cried so much, she had grown angry, with Kikyo, with Inu-yasha - with herself. When would this end, when could she move forward? If ever?

"You do not bore me. Quite the contrary, actually. Once you were human, yet this does not seem to lower you in my opinion. You knew and loved my brother, and for this I am in your debt. And also for this, I find you intriguing, though as you may say, I have no explicable reason for this.......except perhaps that I have never met another like you, both now and in your mortal past......" Sesshoumaru replied, breaking the silence with his cool, masculine voice.

Kagome realized she had never heard him speak this much before, and she found it startling and entrancing all at once. 'I don't get this......I loved his brother, and he feels he is in debt over it? Sesshoumaru, you are as puzzling as your brother was.......' Her thoughts were interrupted as Sesshoumaru turned to face her.

"There is life for you yet, though from me these words must seem pathetically useless. You see, it is very much strange that I would come here of all places, and yet......I did. If only because of this, I am certain there is reason for you still. I must bid you farewell, however, because the night grows old and Rin awaits my return......"

Sesshoumaru paused as Kagome turned to face him, tears sliding down her cheeks. "I don't know you Sesshoumaru, and I find I am afraid to......your scent is familiar, comforting even; but in a sense, you scare me still, because I never thought I would find reassurance in you......"

Kagome wiped her tears away. "I know I am far too emotional for a demon, but my human side has scarred me, you see......I never thought I'd have a conversation with you Sesshoumaru, and now that I have......." The demon-ness let her sentence trail away, as her thoughts consumed her once more.

'This is scary......I actually want to see Sesshoumaru again? To talk to him? Somehow this felt so nice, just speaking without care......do I want to see him again? As a friend, I must say I do.....but more.....for now, that is uncertain......' Kagome smiled sadly up at the tall, elegant youkai before her.

"May we talk again Sesshoumaru?" The raven-haired demon questioned quietly, almost fearful of his answer. Sesshoumaru's eyes widened slightly at this inquiry. "If you wish it, than perhaps we can speak again......but do not expect me to conform my schedule to do so, I am a busy demon after all." Sesshoumaru replied after a moment, his voice falling cold and lacking some emotion, though not all.

Kagome's smile brightened ever so slightly. She inhaled slowly, thinking painfully that this would be as if she were betraying Inu-yasha.......she gazed back into the glittering water before her. He would want her to be happy, to smile and feel comforted......Kagome was certain, and her smile strengthened even more so than before.

"Sesshoumaru?" She asked after a lengthy silence, in which the sky darkened as a cloud passed before the radiance of the moon. The demon turned to her, watching her carefully, and both listened to the sounds of the night around them.

Sesshoumaru's eyes locked with her own as the cloud cleared and a single beam of moonlight feel across the scene. Stars winked from above, and the long, soft grasses swayed with the thickly leaved trees. He nodded slowly.

"Thank you." She whispered, and she slipped the pouch from her pocket. As she did this she balanced on her feet, in a semi-kneeling position and picked up a perfectly round, shining stone. It was glossy and black and comforting to the touch. Kagome smiled, slipped the stone into the pouch, and straightened up.

"Keep this, if you will. The next time we meet, bring it with you." Kagome replied, handing the pouch to a surprised Sesshoumaru. Kagome sensed, rather than saw his apprehension and slight surprise at her gesture. He extended a large, strong hand, calloused due to the use of his sword, and took the small, silk pouch from Kagome.

He realized, almost in a state of intoxication, that Kagome's hands were much smaller and slightly softer, though still marked with the use of a weapon. Not allowing himself to remain under this slight spell, he slipped the pouch into a pocket within his clothes.

"I will." Sesshoumaru said, calculating his emotion. With that he turned, leaving Kagome and the meditative place behind him. Kagome smiled after him, thinking of Inu-yasha, thinking of Sango and Miroku, of Shippo, of her elder brothers, whom she hadn't seen for years on end......and thinking of life once again.

Tomorrow she would leave, uncertain when she would return, but it seemed that after saying goodbye once more to her dear friends, she would have some reason to continue fighting, some reason to keep fighting the evils and sorrows of her life......a conversation and meeting to look forward to, without dread or too much doubt.

Now all that dampened her mood, was the fact that she would soon have to relive Inu-yasha's death. She only hoped that the thought of meeting with Sesshoumaru once again would be enough to sustain her......and keep the tears away......

Kagome's smile vanished as she left the place, and her doubts and worries came back like a harsh wave breaking against shore, as if they had, for a while, been pushed aside. The demon-ness walked through the darkness, thinking only that one day, her confusion and pain may end.


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Mia: Okay, I know, very heavy, dark, and full of angst, but give me a break people! She is now practically living three lives! One as a demon princess of a practically forgotten dynasty (that's a biggie), another as an emotionally wrecked girl finding her place in the world, and yet another as the trapped human girl longing to escape this horrible past and become who she used to be.

I know we haven't really focused on the last of her multi-lives, but that will come into play soon enough (and we call that foreshadowing, lol)! Anyway, just wanted to thank you guys again for everything and all the positive reviews.

Moving on!

Also, I know that one reviewer was slightly concerned with some of our little mistakes. My apologies for that, but you must understand that these chapters are long and take quite a while to write, slightly revise, and then edit. Sometimes these chapters are written when I'm really upset, or when I'm exhausted at, like say, three in the morning?

If these mistakes truly bother you, then I am sincerely sorry, but I can't find every mistake, especially such little, mostly insignificant mistakes such as using the wrong type of to, or forgetting a quotation mark. Please try to keep in mind that we're only human and we will make some mistakes, and also that we don't have a professional editor (yet....lol)!

I know it was just constructive criticism, but I thought I'd just let you know that we do care what you have to say, and I'm glad you've told us! I'll be sure to, when I can, fix what mistake I do find! Thanks again for reviewing, and thanks so much for telling us how we can make our story better!

See you all next time, for Chapter 16!!!!

Love from Mia