InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Always ❯ Chapter 15 ( Chapter 15 )

A/N: I'm so sorry, everyone. Our main computer was down for maintenance, but it's up and running now. But because of that, the internet had to be disconnected for a while. So I'm sorry this took so long. I hope it was worth the wait! I guess this story will be ending soon, but this is not the last chapter. Thank you all for reading. I hope you'll read my other stories. I'm about to start a new one. I'm not going to give away the shipping, but I will tell you that it's an AU (Alternate Universe). For those who don't know, AU fanfics are ones that are based on the characters, but usually are set in a different location or time, etc. If you want to know more, note me, and I'll tell you more. For now, I'm only on Chapter 2 of that one (haven't submitted it yet), and I'm waiting until it has a freakin' name, LOL. Once it has a name and I'm done editing chapter 1, I'll post it. Until then, I hope you enjoy Always!

P.S. To my fanfiction readers: snow_cat_demon, sayuri-chan, jennie555, ellies_adventure… You guys are great and keep me going. I wish I could update more often for you! If I left you out, I'm sorry. Leave me a nasty message.

To my dA readers: Luvtodraw, strive4luv, Kirayasha, caitluvsanime - again, if I left anyone out, just leave me a nasty message ;)

 

 

 

Always

 

Chapter 15

 

 

 

 

…he had followed you to the river.

 

InuYasha pulled you out and kept you warm until I got there.

 

Kagome had awoken that morning thinking of Kouga's words. She had kept her eyes closed, but still ran the words over and over in her head. Why had he been there? Was he still angry? How had he found her? Should she go see him? She did want to see her friends again. She hated how she had left the last time. She missed Miroku and Shippou, and she missed Sango so much it hurt. Would there be a time where it wouldn't hurt so much? Probably. But she didn't want it to. She missed her friends - and her family. She would have to leave Kouga sometime. He wouldn't be happy about it, but he would allow it, knowing she needed her friends and family. The trouble was it wasn't like leaving InuYasha. Whenever she left, he would pout and scowl and argue, and it would make her glad to go. And eventually, he would come to her time and get her. This was different. First of all, Kouga would let her go without arguing. Second of all, she wasn't happy to go back, even though she wanted to see her family. And third of all… Kouga couldn't come to her time. Well, technically, he had never tried to, but as far as they could tell, only InuYasha and Kagome could go through the well.

 

Kagome let out a sigh that she regretted before it had completely escaped her. Instantly, she felt Kouga turn towards her and pull her into him.

 

“What's wrong, Kagome?”

 

“Oh, nothing,” she said cheerily. She didn't want to have to talk about all this with him. It made her yearn for Sango even more.

 

“If you say so,” he said, “but let me know if you need anything.”

 

“Mm-hmm…” she replied.

 

I do need something. I need to see my mom, and little brother, and Grandpa. I need to talk to Sango and Kaede. I need to play with Shippou. And I need to see InuYasha and make sure everything is alright… Kagome wanted to cry, but she knew the youkai would pick up on the salty tears and the last thing she wanted to do was explain why she was sad. She decided that the best thing to do was pretend it was a normal day, and wait for her chance to speak with Kouga.

 

“So, what are we doing today?” she asked.

 

“Hnn?”

 

“Is it the habit of wolf-tribe leaders to sleep in once they have a mate?” she said, poking fun at him.

 

She watched as he opened an eye lazily and half-smiled. She didn't even want to know what he was thinking.

 

“Okay. Then I'm getting up and going to check on the sick. I want to see how much better they've gotten…” she told him as she began to pull her legs up, attempting to bring herself into a standing position.

 

She felt a clawed hand on her arm. Glancing at Kouga, she noticed that although his eyes were closed, he made sure she knew he wanted her to stay.

 

“Kouga, I want to…” she began.

 

Before she could finish, he opened an eye again. “Just stay… a little longer.”

 

His words tugged at her heartstrings. She gazed outside the cave to find that it wasn't very late. She could stay a while longer. But that wasn't what was bothering her. It wasn't that she didn't want to be in bed with Kouga; it was that she was anxious. Excited, even. She wanted to see her friends and family, but didn't know if this feeling was going to go away or if it would come back every time she was with Kouga for a while. She had thought she made up her mind about what she would do. She had decided to stay with Kouga. But now, all these feelings were rushing around in her head, and she wasn't sure how to approach them. Then there were Kouga's words and InuYasha's face; it haunted her. He had been furious. He still wanted to protect her. Again, Kagome felt her heart stumble. Was she wrong to love Kouga? Had leaving InuYasha been the right decision? Yes, it is! THIS is why you left InuYasha! Confusion, mixed feelings, indecisiveness, and an inability to make a choice! Kagome berated herself before noticing that Kouga was still patiently awaiting her choice.

 

She smiled and stretched her legs out again, laying back down in her spot next to the wolf demon. He wrapped his arms around her, and they lay together for a while, in silence.

 

***

 

A short time later, Kagome was checking on a few of what had been the sicklier wolf cubs when Kouga approached her. He asked to speak with her privately, and she nodded, waving goodbye to the little wolf-girl she had been speaking to.

 

“Kagome, I know something's wrong. You've been avoiding me, and you've been pretty quiet, which is weird; for you, at least,” he said, smiling a little.

 

She was grateful that he was trying to be funny. She was avoiding this conversation, but she figured she would have to have it now if anything. Well, here goes…

 

“Kouga, I'm not… unhappy or anything. I just… need to see my family. And my friends. I wouldn't be long, I just don't know if this is… going to go away or not…” she said slowly.

 

Kouga listened to her, knowing it was the truth. He heard the uncertainty in her voice, and felt awful that she had felt she needed to hide it from him. He nodded as she finished and decided to speak for her.

 

“I know they're all important to you. I mean, that would be like me livin' with you and not being able to take care of the pack. You go ahead, Kagome. And don't worry about the feeling. By the time you get back, I'm sure you'll know what you want. You're a smart girl, after all…” he told her softly.

 

Kagome's eyes welled with tears as she listened to him speak. He embraced her, wanting to take away all her sadness. She listened as he whispered in her ear. “How about I take you back to Kaede's village after lunch?”

 

Kagome sniffled. “Really?”

 

Kouga chuckled. “Sure, why not? You can start packing your things now…” he told her.

 

Kagome broke from the hug to give him a kiss, surprising him. “Thanks, Kouga!” she said brightly before turning towards their cave.

 

He was both relieved and worried to see her so happy.

 

 

In the cave, Kagome gathered whatever belongings had been strewn about and stuffed them in her backpack. She would be relieved to sleep in her own bed, get fresh clothes, and take a real bath… And at Kaede's village, she would be so happy to see Sango and Miroku and Shippou. She figured that InuYasha would be sulking. He probably wouldn't even be there. She scowled, knowing she would have to search for him. Closing the yellow bag, she placed it against the wall and left the cave again, looking back at the bed of furs. She felt that tug again. It wasn't fair. Now her heart was in three places at once. That was asking a little too much of a high school girl. Speaking of which, she thought. Doesn't it seem like my life here gets more complicated as I advance in school? Is this how life is supposed to be? She frowned again as she left the cavern, returning to her duties.

 

***

 

After a meal of fish, Kagome watched as Kouga stood and offered his hand to her. She looked up at his smiling face, and wondered how he really felt. She took his hand and he helped her up, leading her back to the cave, and her backpack. She began to lift it, but he hoisted it unto his shoulder instead. Half-smiling, she waited as he lifted her and began to jump his way down the rocks that made up the mountainside where the Yourouzoku lived. She examined the jagged cliffs, an occasional sprig of a green something-or-the-other passing quickly before another wave of grey and brown flew by her vision. Before long, they were starting to see more green. An occasional tree, some grass, a rare flower. Soon, it was all green. They were floating through an area of trees, not like the dead ones that bordered the caves, but huge vividly green ones. Then finally, all traces of rocks were gone, giving way to the open spaces between the mountains of the north and what would one day be Tokyo, to the east. How many times would she make this journey? She knew she would stay with Kouga, and visit her friends and family. But would there come a day where the time between visits becomes lengthier, or altogether desist? No, she would never stop going home. But… her friends. Would the day come when she wouldn't miss them? She did now, of course. But one day…

 

Shaking her head, Kagome tried to clear her head. Kouga looked at her worriedly, but as soon as she noticed his gaze, she smiled up at him. He wasn't fooled though, and even though he smiled back, he furrowed his brow as he turned his attention back to the clearing ahead of him. He knew she was conflicted again, but why? Kuso, I don't think I'll ever understand her, he told himself.

 

After another hour, they reached InuYasha's forest. Just the name itself made the priestess shudder. Was it regret? Or the promise of awkwardness? She wasn't sure, but she started to become anxious. Kouga could feel her cringing, her pulse quicken. Even her scent spiked a little. She was nervous; unsure of how her friends would react. Maybe he should bring her directly to the well… Soon, they were on the outskirts of what would soon be Edo, and Kagome felt a cold sweat appear on her skin. Now that they were a few hundred feet from Kaede's house, Kouga allowed her to stand and walk. They began to walk when Kagome suddenly turned to face the wolf-demon. It was so abrupt that Kouga nearly walked right into the miko. He stared at her, an eyebrow arched in surprise.

 

“Kouga…” Kagome started, her eyes searching the ground for the words she wanted to say. “I think I should go on alone from here.” She watched for an expression, but his rugged features didn't change. He simply waited for her to finish. “I… I'll visit with my friends for a bit, and then I'll go back to my time for a while. I don't know how long I'm gonna stay, though. I guess I'll… I guess I'll just find a way back to you when I come back.”

 

Kouga watched her as she spoke, trying to read her emotions. She was worried, nervous, anxious, and scared. Staying here with her might make it worse. But… how would she get back to the North? Finally, he smiled, shaking his head.

 

“Okay, Kagome,” he said, taking her hands in his. “If that will make you more comfortable, then I'll leave you here, and wait for you to return to me.”

 

A real smile finally spread across her face, and she hugged him, grasping tightly. He heard her sniffle, then smelled her tears. He ran a clawed hand through her hair.

 

“It's gonna be all right, Kagome. I'll be waiting…” he told her, letting go and turning to walk away.

 

With tears running down her face, Kagome turned towards the home with the thatched roof. Willing her legs to move, she began to walk towards the home that had sheltered herself and her friends so many times. She had cooked here, cleaned here, and helped save this village. But it felt foreign now; different.

 

She lifted the grass mat that served as a door, peeking inside. “H-hello? Kaede?” she asked shakily. After a few seconds, she advanced further into the old priestess' home. “Sango? Shippou? Miroku?” A full minute went by before she called the name she dreaded. She spoke, but the name only crossed her lips as a whisper. “I… InuYasha…” she said. So stupid, she thought. If no one else is here, why would he be? As if to answer her question, she heard a slight thud that came from outside. Kagome's heart leapt into her throat as she took a few steps towards the entrance. Kami, I hope that was Kirara…

 

Pushing the mat aside, Kagome took a few careful steps outside. She glanced around nervously, her heart racing like Seabiscuit coming down the homestretch. Finding nothing, she began to think it was all her imagination. Wishful thinking, perhaps? No, it was better if I didn't see InuYa…

 

And there he was.

 

In the middle of her internal monologue, the hanyou had come around from the side of Kaede's hut. And silenced her inner voice in the most horrifying of ways. And now, her real voice could not speak as well. They stood there, facing each other, in silence. Why, oh WHY had she come here again? Finally, she spoke, although it came out as more of a squeak.

 

“Um… where is everyone?” she asked.

 

With a sniff, InuYasha answered her. “There was a weak demon - they all went to kill it.”

 

“W-why didn't you go?” she said, almost inaudibly.

 

“Keh,” he scoffed. “Why would I waste my time with such a lowly demon?”

 

“Oh, right…”

 

More silence.

 

“So, why are you here?” he asked without looking at her.

 

“Oh, well, I wanted to go home for a while but wanted to catch up with all of you as well… I've really missed all of you.” She watched as his frown deepened.

 

“Well, they should be back soon.” He was silent for a few moments before asking his next question. “Where's wolf-boy?”

 

Kagome shook her head. “I sent him home; I wanted to be with you guys alone.”

 

InuYasha turned to go inside the hut. Kagome followed. As soon as they were inside, InuYasha sat down in such a way that reminded Kagome of a puppy that was pouting after being scolded. She tried very hard to contain the giggle that welled up inside her. She sat as well, and they both remained silent for some time, not knowing what to say to the other.

 

“I… I missed you,” Kagome finally said. She instantly regretted her words when his head flashed up, showing a surprised and hopeful look on his face.

 

Kagome looked down. “I mean, we've been friends for so long…” She could practically hear him cringe at the term `friends'.

 

“Well, everyone misses you, too. Shippou's been whining forever. And Miroku keeps getting smacked by Sango, since he's tryin' to talk to her without you around,” he told her.

 

Kagome giggled a little, partially from the visual of Miroku being slapped continuously, and partially because InuYasha couldn't come out and tell her that he missed her as well. He had included himself in the group - without mentioning, of course, that he could out-whine Miroku or Shippou any day. She decided not to embarrass him - this time - since things were already a little awkward between them. She thought she saw him sniff the air a little, and immediately became self-conscious about her apparently `new' smell. She would never be able to tell, but of course all the demons - and half-demons - could. But, while she was critiquing her non-smell, Kagome realized the real reason he had been sniffing the air. A familiar girly giggle, the laugh of a young boy, the metallic jangle of a staff… They were back!

 

Rising to her feet, Kagome leapt outside, stopping short in front of the hut. The kitsune was the first to react, bounding towards the miko. After he was secure in her arms, Sango was next. She ran to her friend, the sister she didn't have. Miroku watched, smiling, his eyes a little too sparkly as the women embraced.

 

“Welcome back, Kagome!” he offered.

 

“I had no idea you were coming! Why are you here?” Sango questioned.

 

“Actually, I had decided to go home for a bit, but wanted to spend some time with you guys first…” she answered.

 

“We don't know where InuYasha is, but he's probably sulking somewhere…” Shippou began, before receiving a rather large whack to the head. “Ow! What was that for…” he started, turning as he spoke. He had not been expecting InuYasha to be standing behind him. “Oh, InuYasha! Y-you're back!”

 

The hanyou just stared at him, scowling. Shippou rubbed his new lump, but continued to circle Kagome's legs like Buyo during feeding time. They all went through their standard hellos and whatnot before Kagome noticed someone missing.

 

“Where's Kaede?” she asked.

 

“She stayed behind. She was attempting to capture dinner. We offered to do it, but she said she needed to keep her skills sharp,” Miroku explained. “Sango had dispatched of the demon easily, so there was nothing for the rest of us to do.” He looked at his fiancée bashfully, a little embarrassed that he did not deal with the demon first.

 

“Kagome!” Sango shouted so abruptly that Kagome jumped. “Want to start dinner?” she asked enthusiastically.

 

Kagome loved that about Sango. Even though she was older, wiser, stronger, and more experienced than herself, Sango sometimes treated Kagome like she was actually the older sister. The young priestess nodded, walking inside the home with the demonslayer. Shippou bounded indoors with them, and Miroku sat down outside, closing his eyes and enjoying the cool breeze. InuYasha was astounded with how… normal everything seemed suddenly. All he could do was sit down as well, a short distance from the monk.

 

Inside, Kagome and Sango rattled on. Sango tattled on the many rear-end grabbings of the houshi. Kagome let loose on a few details of her relationship with Kouga. Sango asked many questions, Kagome tried to answer without embarrassing herself too much. Shippou became bored with their conversations, and, knowing Kagome wouldn't have any goodies for him until after she came back from her own time, returned to the outdoors to chase the last of the butterflies before the cold sent them away.

 

It wasn't too long before Kaede returned empty-handed. Miroku approached her, offering his hand to assist her.

 

“Is something wrong, Kaede-sama?” he asked carefully.

 

“Hai, houshi. I did indeed kill a boar, but didn't think about bringing it back. I didn't realize it would be too heavy for me…” she answered, shaking her heavy head.

 

“Thank you for the gracious dinner, Kaede-sama. I will fetch the boar for us,” he began.

 

Before he could take a step, InuYasha was on the trail, sniffing his way to the recently deceased hog. Miroku ran to keep up, waving to the elder priestess as he followed the half-demon.

 

Inside the hut, there was another brief reunion as the women greeted each other. Shippou had come inside again, adding to the noise. They caught up, mostly Kagome speaking of Kouga and life in the wolf caves. The three of them chopped, sliced, and cleaned as they spoke, quickly finishing all that needed to be done. Laughing, they sat on the floor, waiting for the men, and their main course, to arrive.

 

InuYasha found the boar easily, although by the time they had gotten there, the men had a rival in the form of a bear. It had also smelled the fresh kill, checking to see if there was competition. There hadn't been any at that time, but now the bear was angry, not wanting to give its' find to a human and a hanyou. The bear roared, stating its' claim over the hog. Miroku, unafraid but clearly stepping aside to let InuYasha handle this situation, simply leaned against a tree, watching. InuYasha growled at the bear, hoping it would back down without having to resort to killing it. He thought about that for a moment, and realized it was Kagome's influence that was ringing in the back of his head. Damn woman, he thought, always trying to teach me the ways of her times. The bear, accepting the half-demon's growl as a challenge, just roared. InuYasha smirked, spreading his claws.

 

“All right, then. If you really want to die…” he told the unknowing bear.

 

He ran for the bear, claws ready. But in this moment, the bear had judged his opponent, and decided that the boar was not worth its' life. The bear roared again before turning around and running, leaving InuYasha satisfied.

 

“Keh, I guess you were smarter than you look,” he said after the galloping bear.

 

Turning back around, the hanyou noticed that both the boar and the monk were gone. Growling to himself, he started back towards the village.

 

The women had started the fire, allowing it to grow. Because of the recent events, it was growing late, and the breeze had turned even cooler, making the women and Shippou gather around the fire. They were all very hungry, and had started cooking the vegetables and rice. Kagome had hoped that at some point, she would be able to speak to InuYasha alone, but the way things were looking, she wouldn't get that chance. He hadn't come back yet, and when he did, there would be more cooking, and dinner. After that, she wanted to go home. Kagome sighed in discontent, attracting unwanted attention.

 

“What's the matter, Kagome? Missing Kouga?” Sango asked wryly. She had expected an embarrassed, angry Kagome to give her a nasty look, but to her surprise, there was only a bashful smile. Sango looked at her friend, confused.

 

“No,” Kagome said. Then quickly, she shook her head. “I mean, yes, I miss him, but that's not what it is…” She giggled nervously.

 

“Then what is bothering you, child?” Kaede asked.

 

“It's something I have to work through myself. I'm just trying to figure out what I want to do,” she told them.

 

They nodded understandingly, changing subjects.

 

“Excuse me, but did you ladies order supper?” said the handsome, charming monk as InuYasha dropped the boar on the ground.

 

Sango giggled as she took the hand Miroku offered her. Kaede looked suspiciously at him, but Kagome wasn't paying attention. She was watching the hanyou as he struggled with the hog, skinning it to prepare it for cleaning. Kagome turned away, noticing that Kaede had been watching her. She smiled nervously, then looked to the sky, watching as the setting sun turned the sky different shades of blue, purple, pink, and orange. She paid no attention to the others, letting their conversations slip over her like the current of a river over rocks. She continued to watch the colors of the sky melt together until they became almost one whole color, cloaking the land in darkness. Now she watched the stars twinkle, trying to pinpoint some of the constellations she studied in the Astronomy portion of her science classes.

 

Soon, she felt a hand on her shoulder. It was a gentle touch, which ruled out InuYasha and Shippou. She glanced at the hand, seeing slender, thin fingers with no claws, which eliminated Kaede, Miroku, or InuYasha. She looked behind her to see Sango looking at her worriedly.

 

Sighing, Kagome told her she was fine and had a lot of things on her mind.

 

“Well, ok. But seriously, Kagome. If you're not happy with Kouga, you need to say something,” she told her friend sternly.

 

“I know, Sango. But that really isn't it. When I know, I'll tell you, ok?” she said.

 

Sango nodded, taking her friends' hand and bringing her closer to the fire, readying themselves for dinner.

 

When everyone was full, and everything was cleaned, they began to go inside Kaede's home, one by one. Kaede had been first, then Miroku. Sango hugged Kagome, then yawned as she retired as well. Shippou had fallen asleep, his head on the young miko's lap. Kagome had begun to lift the kitsune, careful not to wake him. Having had to do this with her brother Souta so many times, she was successful, raising both herself and him and carrying him inside. When she had placed him next to Kirara by the fire, she took a last look at her friends, picked up her yellow pack, and exited. She hadn't stepped but a few feet outside when she almost smacked herself into InuYasha. Startled, Kagome gasped at the sight of him. He looked so sad as she stared into his big, golden eyes. When she finally spoke, it was just above a whisper.

 

“I'll be back in a few days,” she told him.

 

He nodded, and she was off.

 

It was so strange, not having him escort her to the well. She imagined he wouldn't wait for her, either. It was very saddening, but she felt better that he was moving on. Or maybe it was a different form of pouting? Either way, it made her feel lonely. As she became lost in her thoughts, Kagome reached the well. She placed a delicate hand on the rim. Then, with an easy jump, she leaped into the well, sending her forward in time… home.