InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Always ❯ Chapter 17 ( Chapter 17 )

A/N: So, this chapter turned out a little longer than I thought, so I decided to go for one more! But that's it! No more after that! Eighteen is the limit for this one!!!! LOL Really, I love this story. But I'm anxious to get going with Choices, Choices… which I haven't had too much time for since I've been busy plotting and scheming the ending of Always. Always was never meant to be a deep, write-the-whole-thing-out-first type of story. It was my first shot at a long story, and at lemons, too. Kinda a practice story. But so many people like the Kouga/Kagome pairing (and hate it, lol) so it's always gonna be in my heart. BTW, sorry for the cliffie! ^_^

 

P.S. Thanks to all of you who have been such faithful readers/commenters/reviewers!!!

 

 

Chapter 17

 

 

 

 

“You have to understand… this isn't easy of me to ask of you,” she said, her body trembling as she spoke.

 

“It's all right, Kagome. You can ask me anything. I lo-”

 

“No, InuYasha,” she purposely interrupted. “It's not easy because of what I ask of you. I'll always love you, InuYasha. As one of my dearest friends. But, too much has happened, and I'm in love with someone else…” she explained quietly.

 

“With that mangy wolf? I'll get rid of him, then there won't be any…”

 

“InuYasha, you can't. There's nothing else that can be done,” she said sadly, wishing she weren't having this conversation with the boy she had fallen in love with first.

 

“Keh! So you came to ask me not to kill him? You're right. That would be hard for me…” InuYasha began, defiant as ever.

 

Kagome sighed. “No, InuYasha. You see, if I go off and live with Kouga, I'm really gonna miss my friends. Plus, it's a lot farther from the well than I like. But the biggest thing is that I'll be far from you, Sango, Miroku, and Shippou. I can't stand the thought of being away from you guys…” she explained.

 

InuYasha stared at her coldly, but she could tell he was still confused. Good ol' InuYasha, she thought. Dense as ever…

 

Sighing again, she tried to get it over with as soon as possible, afraid of the uproar to ensue.

 

“InuYasha, I want to keep traveling with you. I want to defeat Naraku, find the pieces of the jewel… I want to eat, sleep, and talk to all of you. I want to be with all of you. But… it wouldn't change anything between us. I would still want to go to Kouga every once in a while…”

 

“Are you crazy?!” InuYasha roared.

 

Kagome was too much in shock to say anything; all she could do was wince from the volume of his voice.

 

“What would make you think that you could go layin' with that stupid wolf and then come crawlin' to us? We're not your replacement friends, Kagome. We were your real friends, remember?”

 

And with that, the hanyou leaped away, heading for the forest. Kagome watched him run and jump through the trees in a blurry haze, as her tears obscured her vision.

 

 

The first to find Kagome - still where she had sat and cried for the past hour and a half - had been Sango. The demon slayer had noticed that InuYasha had not come back, and wondered if he had finally gone to the well to bring Kagome back. Of course, she would never have been able to tell unless she saw the hanyou jump in, but women's intuition told her that she should go anyways. She had almost wished she wasn't right when she saw the slumped over form of her best friend. Sango immediately ran to her, putting an arm about her. She held Kagome until she had stopped crying, and it reminded her of when Kagome had done that for her so long ago.

 

When the sobs had ceased, Sango didn't try to speak. She simply stood, taking Kagome's arm with her. Kagome stood, attempting to dry her face with her other hand. Sango led her back to the village, where they entered Kaede's hut, the three women sitting with each other. The two older women did not want to force the young and fragile priestess to talk about what was troubling her so much, although they assumed it had something to do with a certain half-demon they knew.

 

After approximately half an hour of Kagome staring at the floor and the elder priestess and taijiya trying to keep their minds occupied as they waited, the young girl spoke.

 

“Where's Miroku?” she asked, almost inaudibly.

 

Sango smiled softly. “He is seeking work to be done.” Sango thought she may need to explain further from the sarcastic, confused look on her friends' face and indulged her. “He is still lazy, but after watching InuYasha mope for a few days, he couldn't stand it and went to look for demons to exorcise.”

 

At the mention of the hanyou's name, Kagome's face saddened again, and the elder women exchanged knowing glances.

 

“And Shippou?” Kagome asked, not lifting her face from its' floor-facing position.

 

“Oh, he's merely playing with some of the village children. He couldn't stand Inu… not having you around either,” Kagome told her, stammering a little.

 

Kagome simply nodded. They only sat in silence for a few more moments before Kagome spoke again.

 

“I asked InuYasha… if I could stay,” she provided.

 

Sango, at hearing the news of her best friend staying to travel with them, moved closer, a smile on her face. But she didn't dare speak until she knew the rest of the story. Kaede didn't even bat an eye.

 

“But… I also told him that I want to go to Kouga every once in a while.”

 

“So, you've made your choice?” the elder priestess asked.

 

“Well, yes. I want to stay here, but I still love Kouga…”

 

“Child, you must remember who it is you're dealing with!” Kaede scolded her calmly. “This is a boy who looks seventeen, is probably over two-hundred years old, and acts like he's five!”

 

All three women laughed lightly.

 

Sango was the next to speak. “Kagome, he had finally chosen you over Kikyou. That wasn't easy for him. Then he had to deal with you loving Kouga. Now, he would have to deal with seeing you and not having you. That's going to be really tough on him. Give him a little time… maybe he'll come around,” she said, placing a hand on her friends' arm.

 

Kagome nodded, but continued her staring contest with the floor.

 

“My child, what was it that made you come to this decision?” Kaede suddenly asked.

 

Kagome waited a moment before speaking. “You. All of you. I love Kouga very much, but I would never be completely happy if I couldn't be with my friends. I… need you all.”

 

Kagome began to weep again, and Sango held her once more. Kaede stood to get her a glass of water, and offered it to her. They spent the good part of that afternoon like that, comforting Kagome and the young priestess often going into sudden fits of sobbing.

 

Finally, all cried out, Kagome stood. “I guess we better start with dinner…”

 

Sango knew cooking was therapeutic for Kagome and agreed. They began cleaning and chopping vegetables.

 

Kagome wondered why Miroku and Shippou were taking so long, but never left the hut to investigate, fearful of running into InuYasha. Sango sensed this, so she offered to finish any tasks that involved leaving the home, such as fetching some more water from the river. The taijiya took the almost empty bucket and left in search of clean water. As soon as she was outside, however, she almost tripped over a very handsome monk.

 

“I thought you were exorcising demons,” she said angrily.

 

Taking another look, however, she noticed that he was holding on to Shippou. No doubt he had arrived at Kaede's home first and heard parts of the story, keeping Shippou out of Kagome's hair until she could handle him. Sango smiled, leaning over to help Miroku up.

 

“I was, my dearest lady Sango. But I found myself drawn back here, and decided to keep a certain kitsune at bay…” he said.

 

She explained her task at hand, and the fox-child and houshi decided to accompany her. They arrived quickly, and were back in no time. This time, both the monk and little demon entered the home as well. As usual, Shippou leapt at Kagome. Miroku simply offered her a humble `Welcome back'.

 

Sango was happy to see that her friend was able to handle it now, and soon, things felt back to normal… almost. They all were actually dreading InuYasha's arrival - except for Shippou, who was oblivious to what was going on; and Kagome, who was trying to deal with it as best she knew how. After things were cleaned and it was time to turn in, Kagome decided she would rather take a bath in the morning, and Sango agreed. They banished Miroku for a few moments so they could change, and he sighed as he left, telling them that he would go bathe instead. He picked up a few things and shuffled out, disappointed at what he would be missing. But when he remembered that he would also see lady Kaede changing, he quickened his pace, eager to be away from the hut.

 

When the monk was a good distance away, the women began to change: Kagome into a new set of pink satin pajamas her mother had bought her, Kaede and Sango into sleeping yukatas. Shippou never changed his clothes, and awaited Kagome in the sleeping bag they shared. The women didn't wait for Miroku to return, they all quietly went to bed. Sango, however, only feigned sleep. She didn't feel comfortable without the monk's presence. Kagome, on the other hand, fell asleep quickly, her body and mind exhausted from the day's hardships. Shippou never had a problem sleeping wrapped in the arms of the miko. Kaede fell fast asleep as well.

 

Miroku had just arrived at the hot spring, eager to feel the warm water against his muscles, when he heard a rustle. Instantly regretting leaving his staff and sutras so far from him, he readied the only weapon he had left, his Kazaana. He began to unwrap the beads from his hand, gritting his teeth and waiting for whatever it was to show itself. He almost laughed when he finally did see what - or who - it was. Trying to keep his composure, he spoke smoothly.

 

“Were you hoping it was a certain miko bathing?” he asked mockingly.

 

“Keh. I was actually hoping it wasn't her,” InuYasha said, crossing his arms.

 

Miroku gave him a sarcastic look, but continued his bath. He was surprised to see that InuYasha hadn't left, which brought up two conclusions. One - Unsuccessful with Kagome and frustrated, InuYasha was now going to advance on him. This wouldn't do, as the monk only had eyes for women. Pretty women. Pretty, stubborn women. That slayed demons without a second thought… Miroku shook his head, trying to keep the taijiya out of his mind as he bathed. Or two - InuYasha desperately needed someone to talk to. Miroku liked situation number two better, but was unsure if he should bring it up or wait for InuYasha. Then again, look where waiting for InuYasha got Kagome…

 

Miroku decided he should be the bigger man and ask InuYasha what was wrong. After all, it was also a good way to gather information, as he really didn't know what had happened between the two. He had come across Kagome crying in Kaede's hut, the two older women caring for her. And Shippou had come along, distracting him from being to hear anything further. No one spoke much at dinner, let alone what had happened. Perhaps this was the way to find out what happened…

 

“InuYasha, do you have any idea why Kagome was crying all day?” he said as smoothly as he could.

 

“How the hell should I know?” InuYasha cried, shaking a fist at the houshi.

 

Miroku tried his best to look stunned. “Well, she just wouldn't tell me. And she tells you everything…”

 

“She does not tell me everything,” InuYasha interrupted, his voice taking on a ferocious growl.

 

“I only meant that usually you know what's bothering her,” the monk said, his eyes closed and his body almost completely engulfed by the warm water.

 

“Why? Because I'm usually what's bothering her? Keh… for all I care, she can stay with that scrawny wolf. Who needs her?” he ranted, probably a little louder than he should be at that time of night.

 

“I thought she was going to stay with Kouga… Is she having doubts?” Miroku toyed, trying to coax the feelings out of InuYasha.

 

“Oh, yeah…” the hanyou drawled out sarcastically. “All of a sudden, she needs us. So she thinks she's gonna run around with us and then go sneaking around with that flea-bag whenever she feels like it…”

 

“Why InuYasha, that's great!” Miroku stopped him from continuing. All in all, InuYasha was great fun to tease when it came to his feelings for Kagome, but now that they had both chosen, and not equally chosen each other, things had gotten complicated, and jealousy was one of the things he was going to have to avoid. So his tactic would be to play up how grand it would be to have Kagome back. “Oh, to have her healing abilities, her purifying arrows, her cooking… this is great news! And to think she thinks so highly of us that she cannot be without us.” Miroku gave a fake chortle of sorts. “Well, perhaps it is really you she is so fond of. Or perhaps it is Sango. Or maybe me…”

 

He had been prepared for the rap on the head by the hanyou, but he hadn't been expecting it to be so gentle. He had been trying to keep InuYasha on his toes - not letting him focus on one thought or the other, so that maybe, just maybe, a good thought might float in and settle with him. Since he was still conscious, he would assume the plan was working.

 

“So, what did you tell her?” Miroku asked, still feigning ignorance.

 

InuYasha was hesitant to speak for several long moments, but soon he spoke while staring at something off in the distance.

 

“I… I told her to forget it. That… we don't need her…”

 

Miroku knew this was his chance. It was do or die. And with InuYasha, neither anger nor subtlety work very well. Or at all.

 

“Well, I suppose you can always tell her that she can still travel with us. She has a big heart and will always listen to you,” the monk told him, noticing how depressed his friend now looked. “Besides, I'm sure you were upset at her at that time. But now you'll be able to clear your mind and really let her know what you want.”

 

With the planting of the seed, Miroku gave not InuYasha the chance to respond - instead, he stood from his bath, grabbing for his clothes and putting them on as he walked back to the village. He was sure that InuYasha would sulk all night, but at least by morning he would have come to an absolute decision. After all, when had any of them taken InuYasha's angry words seriously?

 

When Miroku finally got back to Kaede's home, Sango instantly looked over at him, a pleading and hopeful look in her eyes. The monk simply shrugged his shoulders solemnly, letting her know that it was all up to InuYasha now… She sighed heavily, but was at the very least comforted by Miroku's presence and could finally sleep well. As she stretched out, Kirara mewed softly next to Sango's face, closing her eyes as well. The houshi watched as his love settled into sleep, and then fell into slumber himself.

 

InuYasha paced around the bathing area. There was so much to think about - so many emotions - there was barely enough time to deal with one before the next came rampaging through his brain like a rabid bull in Pamplona. Did he want Kagome to travel with him still, despite the fact she would never look at him the same way again? Was it only his pride that kept her from staying close? After all, she wants to stay with them… but she would constantly be going off to see the wolf. Talk about a blow to the ol' ego. He knew that every time she would leave with Kouga, he was going to hurt, and possibly hurt even more when she came back…

 

Wait…

 

…

 

…

 

…

 

Was that how Kagome felt every time he went to see Kikyou?

 

And when he came back?

 

What about everything he said to the undead priestess - and when she had seen them kiss?

 

Was this how Kagome had been feeling?

 

InuYasha sank to the ground, close to tears. He had always known that he had been the cause of most of the pain in her life, but he had never experienced it himself. Sure, finding out Kikyou was dead, then undead, then knowing she hated him, then loved him still… these were all very painful to go through. But to see the one you love go off with someone else… Was this what they called unrequited love? No, that wasn't quite it. This was worse, because Kagome had loved him. She had waited patiently, endured so many pains, even sacrificed herself a few times for him, but he still went to see Kikyou. And Kouga had been there for her. He had quelled her tears, comforted her, and made her feel wanted. He hated to admit it, but that scrawny wolf was probably the better guy. Well, maybe not better…

 

So now was the dilemma. Let Kagome stay, and suffer? Or tell her to stay away, and still suffer? Either way, there's going to be suffrage… But can he stand to see Kagome, knowing that she wants to be somewhere else?

 

InuYasha continued to walk around, ignoring the rise and fall of the moon and oncoming rise of the sun; thinking, pacing, and sometimes cutting down the occasional tree with his Sankontessou out of anger and frustration. When he finally heard the sounds of the people of the village waking, he decided it was time to face Kagome with his decision.