InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ And all else will fade ❯ Hope ( Chapter 8 )

Kagome

 

Strange are the quirks of fate.

 

“Huh?” I blinked slowly, the image of Inu Yasha standing in front of me staring in wonder at the foliage where Sesshoumaru just left, flashing in and out of my vision. What was that voice?

 

Strange…

 

“Kagome?” Sango's voice, followed by the crunch of leaves and demon bones as she approached me sounded. I turned to her, noticing her distant, awed gaze, understanding it perfectly. I myself had some doubt if it was really Sesshoumaru I had seen just then, if the same seemingly emotionless cold demon had just saved all of our lives.

 

His brother's life.

 

You are too prejudiced, young girl… Fate works in its own ways. We cannot tell when friends will become enemies, or enemies friends, nor can we strive to deduce the correct nature of anybody around us. Not even Sesshoumaru…

 

Huh? That voice again! “Who are you?” I shouted. Sango and the others, snapped out of their surprised dazes, gave me quizzical glances. “What voice, Kagome?” Inu Yasha asked, tilting his head in puzzlement. “I didn't hear anything.” Sango and Shippo nodded their heads to concur with him.

 

My brow creased. “But…” I did hear the voice! Loud and clear… as if from inside from my head…

 

Wisdom seems to be lacking in you, as well. I am Kikyo, you fool…

 

“Kikyo,” I whispered, my eyes widening. Of course. She was now a part of me, but still it scared me to no end to have her speaking to me, from inside me.

 

“Kikyo?” Inu Yasha's eyes started flashing again, this time with genuine concern and confusion. “Hasn't she gone yet?”

 

“Technically, Inu Yasha,” Sango began, “She still remains within Kagome's body.” She turned to me. “Is that the `voice' you just heard, Kagome?” I nodded dumbly at her deduction. It felt strange, somehow. Miroku would've been the first person to figure that out; I missed- yes, missed- the smug, soft voice he used when he voiced out his opinions.

 

“Oh,” Inu Yasha said, wedging the Tetsusaiga into the soil and leaning against it, obviously lost for a better reaction.

 

A bitter, long silence.

 

Finally, Shippo piped up, “It isn't very useful to just stand around here, doing nothing, you know. Sesshoumaru's come and gone; so have those demons… we should continue our search for Miroku.” Inu Yasha pulled his sword out. “Yeah,” he agreed, taking a few wide steps in the general direction of the forest, before suddenly stopping short. “But search where, though?”

 

Where…

 

That was the million dollar question, wasn't it? Our bank of options seemed to have run out; there was no way we could find Miroku now- we may have won the battles, but the Soul Eater had indeed won the war.

 

Miroku was gone.

 

The inevitable, unavoidable truth crashed like a stack of bricks upon my head, sending me staggering. Somehow, even though fear and anger had ruled my emotions then, I had still felt something resembling hope when I had seen Sesshoumaru. On those extremely rare occasions I had seen the brothers working together, they had done wonders, simply wonders. But he was gone. And we were no closer to finding Miroku than before.

 

In fact, we were back in Square One.

 

I heard more crunching of demon bones behind me as Sango went to her knees, head bowed in sorrow, her hair, which had come out of her ponytail during the battle, obscuring her face. “We could have saved him…” she whispered.

 

Then she looked up with tear-stained eyes, at no one in particular, the flame of anger dancing in them. “I could have saved him,” she corrected herself fiercely. “Now there is no way… and he is going to die for sure…” Her voice broke at that point, and she bent her head again, unable to continue.

 

“It is not your fault, Sango,” I said determinedly, while Inu Yasha and Shippo shifted uncomfortably. “There was no way anybody of us could've known this was going to happen.”

 

But you could've avoided it…

 

“How could we?” I asked her, genuinely curious.

 

All of you knew what was happening to each other, am I right? How all of you were crumbling from within; how your egos constructed an emotional barrier around you, making you strong on the surface while you wilted away in the inside…

 

“We had no idea about Soul Eaters!” I said loudly. “Besides it's just human to…”

 

If I am right, Kikyo interrupted, some of your group members did know about Soul Eaters. It is not human to knowingly flirt with danger, just to keep your emotions in check.

 

“Just shut up!” I snapped fiercely. “You're not being helpful at all!” This drew curious gazes from the others. “Were you just talking to Kikyo?” Shippo asked innocently.

 

I nodded, or at least started to, before Sango grabbed my shoulders in a sudden, white-knuckled grip, a near-maniacal gleam in her brown eyes. “Kikyo!” she said, too excited to speak coherently. “Kikyo… key!”

 

“What do you mean?” I asked carefully.

 

She seemed to gain a little more control then, and released my shoulders, the adrenaline still making her twist her fingers together. “Kikyo might know a way to- to bring M-Miroku back!” she said. “I do remember her mentioning earlier that she knew the way…” She turned sharply to face me, hope for getting her long-elusive love back shining from her very being.

 

“Alright,” I said, catching her meaning. I closed my eyes, reaching within myself, searching for Kikyo's presence and imploring her to answer my call.

 

Nothing.

 

“Come on, Kikyo!” I said desperately. “You know how to bring him back, right?”

 

I might…

 

Then some more silence.

 

I grew fed up. Oh, geez, here I was, taking flak from a formless piece of spiritual entity that my body was housing! Talk about ingratitude!

 

“Kikyo…” I said, almost threateningly. “You do know that if you can tap into my thoughts, I can tap into yours.”

 

If you can do that, I see no point in this discourse.

 

With that, her voice was gone, and so was my patience. I opened my eyes, my gaze seeking, in desperation and sympathy, Sango. Already her face was pale and crumpled, as if she knew what had been the result of my pleading… er… negotiations. I slowly shook my head, for the benefit of the others.

 

“Damn!” Inu Yasha growled. “That Soul Eater won after all…”

 

Sango stepped forward then, waving a hand in the general direction of the horizon. “It's darkening,” she said, in a frighteningly detached voice. “We need to have some food and rest ourselves, for the journey tomorrow.” With that, she slung the Hiraikotsu over her back and started walking.

 

“But, Sango!” I called desperately. “Miroku… he must still be alive; we can't give up just like that…” My voice faded away at the sight of the look in her eyes- a look so defeated, so melancholy, so regretful and so uncharacteristic, that it tore my heart and sealed my lips. Flames of despair hungrily licked at my soul, as I realised just another frightening truth:

 

With Miroku, we had lost Sango, as well.

 

*********************

 

 

It was night.

 

I sat up in my sleeping bag, realising I'd never gotten the time, or the inclination before, to truly the appreciate the sheer beauty of the darkness of night. I wondered if it were dark in wherever Miroku was, too.

 

Most probably not.

This reasoning of mine startled me for a second, before the rest of my mind fell in sync with my thoughts. The dark was somewhat soothing, allowing me to think deeply about things I'd never thought of before. It fell across the land like a warm blanket on a cold night; the absence of anything to see around causing the eyes to turn inward -- soul-ward.

 

From what I knew, hell wasn't supposed to make you feel that way.

 

The last crackles of the ebbing fire threw light over the others' sleeping forms- even Inu Yasha was nearly fast asleep, exhausted by the day's events. I knew I should feel exhausted too, but I… just didn't. Sango's face was even more troubled than usual, and with abundant reason, and Kirara lay close to her, warming her, consoling her, even in sleep. Shippo lay in a rigid position against Kirara, his own eyebrows pulled together in an uncharacteristic frown. I felt sad- suddenly, overwhelmingly sad.

 

We had all changed.

 

I wondered if Kikyo had felt the same way when she had been resurrected. To see everything inexplicably changed- loyalties, positions, power, love… all culminating into a feeling of being lost, lonely, of being a misfit in a rapidly changing, cruel world.

 

I could empathise with her now, and not just because she was now a part of me.

 

Then why couldn't I connect to her spiritually, like she could to me?

 

There had to be an answer to that, somewhere… but I doubted I could find it by dawn, when Miroku's death bells would finally toll.

 

Despair once again raking its vile claws over my fragile emotional state, I looked around again, determined to get my mind of these negative subjects.

 

In the absence of light to tell one thing from another, everything seemed one in the darkness. Shadows and the vague silhouettes of various unrecognisable things blended with each other, creating what seemed like an enormous modern portrait painted with different shades of black. One couldn't tell the difference between a huge tree, and just a harmless little rabbit-youkai curled up in sleep at the edge of the foliage. There was no rationale in what you saw, or seemed to see, in the darkness. Everything could be anything; anything could be everything. The barrier between reality and fantasy that light constructed, eroded during the night.

 

Suddenly, I wondered: Could that be the case with me and Kikyo? Like, whenever I tried to `contact' her, I was too focused on material, rational changes- my mind, honed over the years for scientific thinking, could not reach into Kikyo's own mind. That must be it- the barrier. I'm expecting materialistic results without thinking about the spiritual processes involved- and I'm supposed to be a miko! Shaking my head and closing my eyes, I reached into myself again, not frantically calling, but settling, like sand trickling into the other end of an hourglass. Forgetting all reality, I explored.

 

A plethora of thoughts and images flashed like a kaleidoscope in front of me- of my family, childhood, school, crushes, adventures with Inu Yasha and the others… they surrounded me, nearly stifling me. I needed to go beyond myself- a difficult thing for a teenage girl under ordinary circumstances, yes, but I was not in normal circumstances; not by a long shot.

 

I finally found Kikyo- a dazzling orb of light tucked away in the deepest corner of my soul. Taking a virtual deep breath, I plunged into her thoughts.

 

They were even more numerous and frightening than mine (obviously!). Her thoughts- the most recent ones, anyway- were painted with blood, misery and loneliness; so much so that it pained my heart to know that I had thought extremely wrong of her before. Her love for Inu Yasha, brightening her earlier memories, was so moving that now I knew why, exactly, Inu Yasha still yearned for her so much. A pure soul- tainted by the vile tricks of the dastardly Naraku.

 

I entered a wider spectrum of her mind, suddenly quite lost in the vastness of her knowledge. I tried to stop myself from panicking, reminding myself that this was somewhat like a database in a computer- just search systematically, with proper guidelines to find the target.

 

Problem was, I was no good with computers.

 

I managed to find out, however, how exactly to counter a Soul Eater. It was easy, for it was one her most treasured knowledge. It didn't involve the usual Japanese magic using ofudas and such, but a completely different class of spiritual magic, which was a privilege to possess.

 

I came out of my trance, breathing heavily.

 

“Inu Yasha! Sango! Shippo!” I shouted in my excitement, scrambling to my feet. Inu Yasha was on his feet immediately, while the others took just a little more time. “What is it, Kagome?” Inu Yasha queried.

 

“I know it!” I said, my eyes sparkling, and the heat rushing to my face. “I know how to get Miroku back!”

 

It was like someone had just breathed life into Sango. Her pale face coloured with surprise and hope, and her brown eyes lit up. “That's… great, Kagome! What should you do?”

 

“I need to get to the remains of that tree,” I said firmly. “As soon as possible.”

 

Yes… the sooner the better…

 

Somehow, Kikyo's voice didn't surprise me. I knew that she knew that I had sifted through her knowledge and memories; her acceptance of the violation and her encouragement only served to increase my respect for her.

 

“Let's get going then,” Sango said, hefting the Hiraikotsu over her back and climbing onto Kirara, who had already transformed in anticipation. Shippo and Inu Yasha nodded as well, the latter allowing me to scramble onto his back before he leapt through the forest, following Kirara, back to the clearing.

 

Inu Yasha landed next to the wooden splinters and formless trunk that had once been a part of the Soul Eater. I got down from his back, trying hard to hold back my nervousness. This was the first time I was going to attempt magic at this level, but I had Kikyo helping me, hadn't I?

 

I arranged the broken splinters in a heap in front of the stub of a trunk. I reached into my quiver of arrows and taking out one, I pulled out its head, tossing the rest of the arrow aside. Cupping the arrowhead in my palms, I closed my eyes and began chanting, Kikyo's presence guiding the words my lips formed. Finally, the arrowhead began to glow with a strange blue flame.

 

“Er… Kagome?” Inu Yasha began uneasily.

 

“Ssh,” I whispered to quieten him, and opened my eyes. I threw the glowing arrowhead into the remains of the tree, still chanting. The blue flame spread, consuming the remains, growing into a towering fire of magical flame. A void of blackness opened in the centre- small at first, but growing bigger and bigger with the towering flames to reach Inu Yasha's height.

 

“That, everybody,” I said dramatically, turning to face them, “is the entrance to Miroku's … um…`hell'.”

 

There was a stunned silence before Inu Yasha, with a hand on the handle of the Tetsusaiga, started forward. “Let's go, then!”

 

“Wait, Inu Yasha,” I said, stopping him short. “Only one person can go through that opening.”

 

He looked at me, then at the void in the flames. “It'll have to be me, then.”

 

Before I could say anything, however, Sango's hand reached out and pulled Inu Yasha back by gripping the sleeve of his haori. “No,” she said decisively. “I'm going.”

 

“But Sango,” Inu Yasha said, annoyed. “Who knows what's out there? And…”

 

“I'm a demon slayer,” Sango said, her voice as cold as ice. “I have been trained to deal with the unknown.” With that, she stepped forward, Inu Yasha not being able to find his voice to counter her statement.

 

“Sango,” I called, just before she went in. She turned, and I smiled a wistful smile at her. “Good Luck,” I said. “Yeah… good luck in finding Miroku,” Shippo echoed from beside me. “Feh,” was all that came from an obviously annoyed Inu Yasha.

 

She smiled back- a smile hardened by determination and unbendable will. “Thank you,” she said, and disappeared into the entrance, which closed behind her.

 

Nervous silence ensued as the magical flames continued to crackle, throwing shadows over our apprehensive faces. Kirara, having turned back into her smaller form, came up to me, mewing. I stroked her unconsciously, worried, myself. I could not keep up that flame for very long, and if Sango didn't find Miroku soon, both of them would be stuck forever in the lands of the dead… I could not even begin to imagine what the losses of both Miroku and Sango would do to the rest of the group…

 

I sighed, my restless fingers finding solace in Kirara's soft fur. “You have to make it, Sango,” I whispered. “You just have to…”

 

Everything depended on Sango, now.