InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Angel ❯ Premonition or Nightmare? ( Chapter 50 )

Chapter Fifty:

Premonition Or Nightmare?

Kagura sat on her bed, her fingers caressing the soft wolf. She remembered that night so very clearly. It had been so magical, almost like a dream. She sighed. Even though he had only been gone a few days, she still missed his company. Sitting up she placed the stuffed animal back on her pillows and stood up. She turned to make her bed before dressing and running a brush through her hair. Once done, she headed down to the kitchens.

Since neither Kagome, nor Ensei was here, she figured she'd help out with the chores.

She found she didn't mind doing chores much. It kept her busy and she got to meet a lot of great people. The smell of something sweet tickled her nose as she entered the kitchens.

The kitchen was large and busy.

Several large pots were cooking over fires, most containing beef or vegetable stew for the Midday meal for the soldiers residing in the castle. She was surprised to see Shusui cutting vegetables among the servants. She and the head cook, Shiyumi, conversing quietly. Shiyumi smiled as Kagura approached.

Shiyumi was an older Inuyoukai that had been serving the royal family almost as long as Shusui. No taller than Kagura, she had short brown hair and dark eyes. Being around her was like having a mother.

"Kagura, how are you dear? I swear I haven't seen ye in days," said the head cook, "What brings ye here?"

"With Lady Kagome away, I have some free time and decided to come and lend a hand," Kagura said with a smile.

"Well isn't that sweet? Shusui said much the same. Come, wash up and grab a knife, the first wave of soldiers will arrive in half an hour,"

Kagura nodded. Rolling up the sleeves of her kimono, she went over to the basin in the corner, washed her hands and returned to the two women. Shiyumi handed her an apron. Kagura took the apron and tied it around her waist. Picking up a knife, she began to cut up vegetables into bowls. The three conversed quietly among themselves, telling stories of past experiences and childhood adventures. Kagura remained mostly quiet as they told stories, listening and imagining what she would have done in their places, what it would have been like to have been a child.

"That should be enough for now," Shiyumi said.

Picking up the bowls, they poured the vegetables into pots. Shusui and Kagura removed their aprons, and washed their hands again. After helping the other servant serve the ravenous soldiers, Shusui and Kagura took a break. The two took tea and rice balls out to a table in the garden.

"Ahhh, today is such a wonderful day, Shusui said as she took a seat in her chair.

"I agree, it is not to cold, nor is it blazing hot," Kagura agreed taking a seat.

Picking up the teapot, Kagura poured tea for both of them. Kagura took a sip before speaking.

"I did not know you could cook, Shusui,"

Shusui smiled.

"Aye, my mother taught me. It was part of my Hoikushi training. I used to hate it,"

"Really?"

"Aye, I used to hate everything about my training. I was a bit of a tomboy," she admitted with a rueful expression.

It was hard to believe that Shusui had ever been anything other than what she was. She had to be the most feminine women she had ever come across.

Shusui laughed.

"I know, it is hard to believe, looking at me now. But it is true. I hated being a woman. I was more comfortable playing and getting dirty with my brothers,"

"Brothers?"

She nodded.

"I had three big brothers,"

"Had?"

"Aye, their names were Jikininki, Shiro, and Hakudoshi. Big brother Jikininki was my favorite brother. He was the oldest of the four of us. We spent every chance we got together. Mother didn't really approve, she said I needed to be taught to behave like a lady. While I was being trained by mother, Father trained my brothers. Father and Jikininki did not get along however, and Jikininki soon left before completing the training. I never heard from him again," she said.

Shusui took a sip of tea before continuing.

"Shiro and Hakudoshi completed their training with Father; however, they too left because of Father. I am not sure why, however. Mother never told me anything, even when I asked her directly about it, Father would not speak of any of them. I never saw any of my brothers again,"

Shusui sighed, taking a rice ball from the plate on the table.

"What about you, Kagura. Did you ever have any brothers or sisters?" she said taking a bite of the rice ball.

Kagura sat thinking. To her knowledge, she had no brothers or sisters, thought she had not been in contact with Vishious in so long, so she had no idea if he had created any more individuals such as herself.

"Nay, I never had any,"

"I seem so you were an only child. What were your parents like?"

Silence stretched between the two.

"They were…..I….."

Kagura's cheeks colored as she drifted into an uncomfortable silence, her eyes drifted down to her cup. Her 'parent' was as cruel and vicious as his name suggested. Her 'parent' was a heartless killer. Her 'parent' was the leader of a notorious group of psychotic individuals. How could she tell Shusui, or anyone for that matter that such a male was her 'father'? Or the fact that she didn't know what it was like to be a child. That she didn't have a childhood. Technically, this was her childhood.

Shusui reached out, touching her hand.

"It is alright. Everyone's childhood is different," she said with a smile.

"Aye," she said softly.

Shusui frowned softly. She had sensed Kagura's past was less than rainbows and sunny days. Looking at the other woman was painful. She looked so sad.

"Childhood memories are not important, they are nice to have, however, they are not as important as the memories you make everyday," Shusui said.

"Aye," Kagura said again, her eyes averted.

"I am sure you've already made some very nice memories since coming here, ne?" Shusui said sitting back.

Picking up her tea, Shusui brought the cup to her lips.

"Memories," she said with a sly, teasing look, "that centered around a certain, wolf General…"

Kagura looked up, a blush coming to her cheeks. Seeing the look Kagura smiled down at her fingers.

She twiddled her fingers.

"Well I uh…..you see…."

Shusui giggled.

"See, it is not your childhood memories that bring a smile to your face, but the recent memories you've made,"

Kagura sighed inwardly. She understood what Shusui was saying, however it was still hard not to wish for a childhood of her own. To have known the love of two parents. But she would not dwell on that, but rather make memories of her own, with Ensei, with all of her new friends.

Reaching out, she touched Shusui's hand.

"Thank you," Kagura stood, "I should be going now, there are many more chores to do,"

Shusui nodded.

"Let us do this again some time soon," Shusui said.

Kagura nodded as she turned and headed inside.

She headed back down to the kitchens. The servants were cleaning dishes the soldier used. Kagura rolled up her kimono sleeves again and helped out with the massive amount of dishes. After that tedious chore was complete, Kagura decided to lend a hand in cleaning the tables and floors of the dinning hall.

"I must warn ye, the soldiers are not the cleanest males in the world," Shiyumi said with a small smile as she led Kagura to the dinning hall.

Kagura's mouth dropped.

"That was a bit of an understatement do you not think?" she asked Shiyumi.

The dinning hall looked like a herd of pigs had crashed through it. Chairs were turned over, food was stomped into the floors, stew smeared on the walls, the tables looked sticky and disgusting. One of the tables had been completely flipped over. Something purple dripped from the ceiling.

Kagura's brows drew down in confusion.

Looking up, she could see there was purple goo dripping from the ceiling onto the floor.

That only led to more confusion since she did not remember any of the servants serving the soldiers anything purple and gooey. How in the hell were they supposed to get that off of the high ceiling? As if to answer her question, a servant came to stand behind her, a long piece of wood with a cloth tied on the end in hand. The wood was several feet long, and the female servant holding it was almost a foot taller than Kagura.

"This happens often. We just use this," the servant said gesturing to the long stick, "To clean the ceiling when needed,"

"You've never asked what that is and why it's on the ceiling?" Kagura asked still looking up at the goo.

"Nay, we don't ask questions, we just clean," she responded.

"Alright, let's get to work," Shiyumi said rolling up her sleeves.

Kagura rolled up her sleeves as well and began turning chairs right side up. The tall woman with the large piece of wood stood on one of the tables and cleaned the goo from the roof. After turning the chairs over, Kagura grabbed a wet cloth from the kitchens and wiped all the tables and chairs clean of any liquid, crumbs or sticky residue, then helped scrub the floors clean.

Kagura sighed, stretching her back as she stood back to survey their work. It had taken a full hour, but finally the hall was clean and sparkling. At least until dinner time. She did not want to think about that.

Shiyumi walked over to her.

"Thank ye for ye help," she said bowing, "I appreciate everything ye have done here,"

"It was no trouble," Kagura said with a smile, "Truthfully; I enjoyed myself more than I thought I would. Thank you for having me,"

"Ye may come here anytime,"

Bowing, Kagura turned and walked away, heading to her room. Inside, she stripped and jumped into tub for some relaxation. She sighed softly. Today had been a productive day. Despite the fact that chores were not usually looked upon as something fun, she really had enjoyed herself. Chores were something she had never had before. Completing them gave her a nice feeling of accomplishment.

She sighed.

She missed Ensei.

It was strange to miss someone. She had never missed anyone before. It was so new to her. She was not sure if the feeling was a good feeling or not. She laid her head down on the edge of the water. She wondered; where was he now? What was he doing? Was he in danger?

Had one of the Evil Six exposed her as an accomplice?

She closed her eyes. There was no sense in worrying herself, she wouldn't know until they returned. She sighed, her body relaxing.

"Kagura," a voice said.

Kagura opened her eyes.

"Kagura," the voice said again.

Turning, she saw Ensei standing a few feet away, looking as handsome as ever. An radiant smile came to her face.

"Ensei," she said softly.

Ensei walked towards her, Kagura wadded through the water of the tub to meet him. Ensei knelt down as she came to the edge. Kagura closed her eyes as he stroked her cheek. To her surprise, she was not at all embarrassed by her naked body. Usually, just looking at the ugly scars that marred her skin shamed her, but underneath Ensei's warm brown eyes, she felt no such emotion.

She felt beautiful, worthy, and accepted.

"What are you doing here?" she asked.

"What do you mean?"

"I did not expect you to be back so soon,"

Ensei raised a brow, a smirk on his face.

"Are you not glad to see me Kagura?" he asked as his facial expression changing to feigned hurt, "And here I thought you liked me,"

Kagura frowned, her eyes narrowing in mock anger.

"You are such a baby. Get over yourself. I didn't say I wasn't glad to see you, I was only wondering why you had come back so soon,"

"Ah, now I understand. I am happy once more," he said with a smile.

Kagura shook her head.

"So…" he said.

Kagura looked up at him, expecting him to continue. They sat in silence a few moments, Kagura staring up expectantly, Ensei staring down at her just as expectantly.

"You're going to make me ask aren't you?" Kagura asked.

"Ask what?"

Kagura growled, pulling a chuckle from the male. Ensei took a seat near the edge of the pool of water.

"Nay, I will not make you ask ," he said, "When I said "so…" I was intending to ask a legitimate question of you,"

Kagura sighed. It was always this way with him. If she continued down this path, he'd dance around and around the question he wanted to ask for hours. It was a silly little game he liked to play with her. He always said he wouldn't make her ask again, however, he made asking again her only option. She figured she'd nip this little game in the bud.

"What question did you want to ask when you said "so…"?" she asked.

He frowned, pouting a bit.

"You're no fun, Kagura,"

Reaching out with a wet hand, she grabbed hold of a fleshy part of his arm and pinched him.

"Hey! Ow!" he said jerking his arm back, "What was that for?"

Kagura giggled.

"You deserved it. Now answer the damn question,"

"Yeah, yeah," he said lying down on his side along the edge of the pool of water, "I wanted to ask: did you miss me while I was gone?"

A blush came to her cheeks. How could she not have missed him even though he had been gone for only a few days? She looked up into his light brown eyes. Did she really want to tell him she had missed him? I mean, he was already arrogant enough, why boost his ego even more right?

"Nay," she said turning her head and closing her eyes, "I did not miss you at all."

Laughter filled the silence. Kagura turned to face Ensei once more, whose eyes were warm and alight with amusement. Reaching out, he stroked her hair again.

"Liar," he said, leaning down.

Kagura held her breath in anticipation as his lips began to descend. His lips were soft on her own. Kagura closed her eyes in bliss. When his lips were on hers, she could almost forget everything; almost feel that everything was right in her world. As his tongue slipped into her mouth, she tasted something warm and thick. Pulling back, she opened her eyes and placed a hand to her lips. Blood coated her fingers and palm.

She looked up at Ensei in confusion. He looked back at her with glazed over eyes, blood dripping from her mouth and onto the wooden floor. Her eyes widened in shock.

"Ensei?" she called.

No response. His eyes stared back at her, no longer warm with passion but dull with the glaze of death. Reaching out with a trembling hand, she touched his cheek. Her heart constricted. His skin was ice cold.

"Is this not what you wanted, Kagura?" a voice asked.

Iciness ran down her spine.

"Nay…" she said softly.

This was not what she wanted. She would never have wanted such a thing for him. Not Ensei. Not the one she-

"You wanted this Kagura. You knew full well the ramifications of your relationship with this male, so I can only conclude that this is what you wanted,"

Kagura shook her head in denial, her heart breaking in two as crimson eyes appeared. She backed up a step as Vishious appeared. He stood as tall and menacingly as she remembered, maybe even more so. Fear paralyzed her body as he picked up Ensei's dead body by the neck. He extended the body out towards her. Kagura stared in horror at the look on Ensei's face, the blood that dripped from his body and pooled at Vishious' feet.

"This is what you wanted Kagura," Vishious said shaking the body, his face a mask of evil, "Is this not what you wanted?"

Kagura shook her head, her hands covering her eyes.

"No… NO!" she screamed in anguish.

She hadn't wanted this, she had never wanted this. Her hearted cried the tears she could not. This couldn't be happening. Ensei was…..

Kagura awoke with a gasp, her heart still pounding. Picking her head up from the edge of the pool she ran a wet hand over her heated face. That had to have been the worst nightmare she had ever had in her entire short life, worse than the nightmares involving her days of torture with Naraku.

Staring blindly into the clear water, she wondered, had it been a dream or a premonition of things to come?

Her heart constricted.

Vishious had said that she had known the ramifications of having a relationship and she did. Was this his way of telling her what the future held? Could she continue to see Ensei, knowing what she knew? It didn't seem right. She could not put his life in danger that way. She had to leave here; she had to get as far away from Ensei and everyone else as possible. She had to leave before they came back.

Kagura wadded through the warm water over to the other side of the tub. As she raised herself over the edge to exit the water, there was a firm tug on her foot. Kagura stopped, frozen, confused. Was she imagining things? Once more she lifted her self and again, there was a tug on her foot, this time, harder and more forceful, pulling her halfway back into the water.

Before Kagura could try to leave again, she was pulled even harder.

Kagura grabbed onto the edge of the pool, kicking her feet to dislodge the hand that was wrapped around her ankle. To no avail, whatever had her had her tight in its grip. The being below pulled and pulled. Kagura held on as tight as she could. She began to panic as her wet hands slipped.

Kagura gasped as she was pulled under.

She fought, kicking her feet and screaming. Water filled her lungs.

Her lungs were on fire in seconds as she was pulled deeper into the water.

She looked down at her ankle, trying to see what had a hold of her. She could see nothing. Kagura struggled, pulling at her ankle as her vision began to darken. She was fading fast. She pulled at her ankle, this time, freeing her leg from whatever force had held her down.

She broke to the surface, coughing and heaving, spitting water from her mouth.

Kagura pulled herself from the water and crawled naked and wet away from the water. She panted hard against the cold floor.

'Did you enjoy that, Kagura?'

Kagura's heart constricted as Vishious' voice echoed through her mind.

'You have not contacted me in months, Kagura. You were to be my eyes and ears. I am disappointed in you,'

Kagura coughed, spewing more water from her lungs.

'I've recently discovered that my woman is pregnant by that mutt. When did you see fit to inform me of this new development?'

He paused briefly.

'You did not intend to tell me,' he said with a chuckle, 'it matters not, however. Tourcher saw to it that spawn of the mutt was removed,"

Kagura's eyes widened in shock. It couldn't be true…Kagome…

'Do not forget, Kagura, I own you. Your life is in my hand. If you do not obey me you will lose more than your miserable life,'

Kagura lay on the ground long after Vishious' presence had left her mind. She stared out at the stone wall, her naked, shivering body beginning to cool.

She had been foolish.

So damn foolish….

Freedom….happiness…..love….

These things were not something she would ever have…

Kagura brought her knees to her chest and cried invisible tears.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Toramaru sat next to InuYasha on the balcony overlooking the Southern lands. After the incident with Tourcher, Yamiko had led them back to his castle were the best healer in the Southern lands resided. The healer had seen Kagome immediately upon arrival.

The healer, Yashi, had been shut up inside the examination room with her for hours. So far they had no news of her condition. Toramaru had been surprised to say the least by the tale InuYasha had spun of how the two had become mates. He was happy that his eldest son had mated and settled down.

Though it was not a love match, he was grateful that it had not been a cold and passionless match such as the one he had had with Sesshomaru's mother.

He sighed inwardly.

His mating with Kaori had been an absolute mess, at least for the first few years. They had bickered like cats and dogs, despising each other. They had argued and avoided each other as much as possible up until his father had sat them both down and lectured them both that they had made an effort to get along. By that time it had already been too late for any love to be had between them.

Toramaru had been in love with Izaoi.

But again, his father had lectured him on his duty as the next Territory Lord and had coerced him and Kaori into conceiving a legitimate child before going their separate ways.

After Sesshomaru had been born however, both of them had tried their best to keep their affairs from reaching his innocent ears. In his golden eyes, his mother and father were the perfect couple, they loved each other. At least that had been the illusion they had let him see. But as Sesshomaru had reached his adolescent period, he had proven himself to be quite intelligent. It had not been long before he figured out that something was wrong in his parent's relationship.

When the truth had been uncovered Sesshomaru had hated them both.

That had been the last time he had ever expressed such uncontrollable emotion, after that, Sesshomaru had turned quiet, isolating himself from most people. He never smiled, he never laughed. It had broken both their hearts to see their child so hurt. They had tried everything, even staying away from their lovers for almost a year and yet nothing had healed his bruised heart.

A year later, his mother had gotten sick.

Slowly, Sesshomaru had begun to open up to his mother again, making peace with her before her death. At the time, he had also been mending his relationship with his father. What little progress had been made had been lost when Toramaru had brought Izaoi in as his new mate less than a month after his mother's death.

It was hard to believe that centuries had passed. To him, only hours had passed since he had left the castle. The pain he had felt at his relationship with his eldest soon, the loss of his beloved Izaoi, it was all as fresh in his heart as it had been before he had left. But even though he felt that way, just looking at InuYasha, he knew centuries had indeed passed. InuYasha was no longer the small toddler he had carried on his shoulders, but a man.

He had missed so much.

"And you?" Toramaru asked.

"Me?" InuYasha asked looking over at him.

"Where is your mate, InuYasha?"

InuYasha's cheeks colored.

"I don't have a mate," he said.

"Have you not considered looking for one?"

"Nope," InuYasha said looking away, the blush on his cheeks darkening.

Clearly he was not comfortable speaking of such things with anyone, least of all his father. Toramaru smiled. Some things hadn't changed at all. InuYasha was still as blunt and easily embarrassed as he always had been.

That fierce blush brought back so many memories.

This was not the homecoming he had wanted, and yet, he found he could not wish it otherwise. His son was mated, and he possibly had a grandchild on the way. His first grandchild. His heart swelled with love for the child that may or may not even exist anymore.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sesshomaru stood pacing outside the door. The healer, Yashi, had been examining Kagome for almost five hours. Sesshomaru was beginning to worry, which in turn made his mood less than desirable. Anger coursed through his body with each passing hour. Anger at Tourcher for causing this mess, at himself for being distracted and taking his attention from the enemy, and anger at his father for causing that distraction, for his father still being alive for that matter.

Why the hell had he come back? Why the fuck couldn't he just stay dead?

Sesshomaru's steps turned more aggressive as he paced, his demonic energy flickering. If Kagome lost their pup he'd-

The door opened. He stopped, turning around to face the door. Sesshomaru felt his heart speed up, his whole body tensing as Yashi appeared from the darkened room. Yashi was a teal, four armed demon. His blue-green, shaved head gleamed from the lit candles in the hall, his dark eyes sharp and laced with wisdom.

"The pup is still clinging to life, but she is not out of the woods yet. Her condition is still critical. She is to rest here for the night so that I may monitor her closely, after which, if things are as going as well as they are now, you can return her to the Western lands,"

Sesshomaru felt relief wash over him in a tidal wave.

"Upon her return, she is to be seen immediately by you physician, and she must take it easy throughout this pregnancy,"

Sesshomaru inclined his head in thanks.

"You may go in now, my Lord," he said.

Sesshomaru said nothing as he entered the room. The physician followed after him. The candles in the room were dimmed, casting shadows on the walls of the darkened room. Kagome lay on her side on the futon, her skin pail and clammy. Sesshomaru placed a hand to her forehead. Her skin was cool to the touch. She didn't seem to be in any pain, and was resting peacefully.

He listened closely.

Her heartbeat was steady. Sesshomaru kneelled, placing his ear on her belly, he listened.

The faint heartbeat of their pup echoed in his ears. As the physician said, she seemed to be in stable condition.

"This is her medication," Yashi said holding out a small, vase like container with a yellow stopper sealing its contents.

Sesshomaru reached out and took the container.

"She is to have one spoon full a day, preferably after breakfast. As early as possible,"

"Understood," Sesshomaru said.

Yashi bowed once before turning and walking out the door. Sesshomaru turned his attention back to Kagome resting on the futon. Reaching out, he brushed her bangs from her face. He had never before felt fear for another being in his life. Yet in the last twenty-four hours, he had felt more fear for this woman than he had ever thought to feel.

It had to be effects of their mating. There was no other logical explanation for what he was feeling.

He sighed, rubbing the bridge of his nose.

Too much had gone on in the last few hours; his father coming back, Kagome's injury. His head was beginning to ache; he could not deal with these feelings right now.

Removing his armor, he climbed into bed with her, wrapping himself around her body, his arms slinking around her body. He placed his hand against her swelling belly as if to assure himself that their pup still lived. Sesshomaru relaxed his body, placing himself under a light sleep.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Kagome huffed in frustration. She had been in bed, sitting on her bum all day, and if the doctor had his way, she would continue to be all through her pregnancy. Sesshomaru would not be swayed. She was allowed up only to use the chamber pot, and bathe.

That was it.

Otherwise, it was back to bed. Her meals were brought to her, if she wanted something; she had to ring a bell that was attached to a string hanging over her head. A servant of Yamiko's had made the contraption earlier that morning.

She sighed and lay back on the fluffy pillows, rubbing her belly. She had to admit, when she had woke up this morning, she had been afraid that she had lost her baby, but after speaking to her mate, she had learned that her tenacious child was still clinging to life.

Even though she knew rest was the best medicine, she wished to be up and about. They had found the last amulet, and with it, Sesshomaru's father and the sword. She wanted to speak to Toramaru; they needed to figure out how to use the sword to take down the remaining Evil Six members. Her heart clenched. The confrontation between her and Rykotsu was coming. Throughout this entire journey, she had hoped to avoid thinking about him, but now, she couldn't.

There was no way Rykotsu could come out of this alive. His crimes were too great, too serious. Even if he gave himself up, his ultimate sentence would be death, and if he continued on this path to destruction, a painful end at Sesshomaru's hand would be his only way out. She closed her eyes briefly, tears threatening to fall. She took a breath.

She would not cry for him.

He had chosen this path, long before she had ever been born. He had known the consequence of his actions. There was nothing she could do to help him now.

He had betrayed her, in every sense of the word. But she could help but wish that things had been different, but deep down in her heart, she knew that no amount of wishing could undo the past.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It was peaceful here. The wind was blowing softly across the open plain. The grass was as green as he had ever seen it before. A few flowers grew here and there, giving the grass color. The sun was hidden behind the white fluffy clouds in the deep blue sky. Toramaru sat quietly under a tree, eyes closed, enjoying the peace and quiet. He did not have chances such as this to relax very often. With his position as Elder he bore a lot of responsibility. At times, he hated it, and yet most of the time he enjoyed it.

"Enjoying yourself, little brother?"

Toramaru's eyes snapped open. That voice. He recognized that voice. It couldn't be.

"InuTaisho?" he asked, "Is that you big brother?"

"Who else but I would call you little brother, Toramaru?" the voice said with a chuckle.

On his right, a few feet away from him, a figure appeared. Hazy at first but soon cleared. The figure was none other than his big brother, InuTaisho. He looked just as he had the day he left. Strong and handsome, silver hair pulled back in a high ponytail, golden eyes wide and piercing, his aristocratic features set in a serious facial expression. That had happened after Izaoi had died. He had become serious all the time, his laughter and joy no longer easily brought forth.

He even wore the same cloths; an expensive blue kimono and hakama and gleaming armor.

Toramaru stood and slowly approached his big brother, almost afraid if he moved the wrong way he would disappear.

"InuTaisho." he breathed.

InuTaisho graced him with one of his rare smiles and held out a hand to Toramaru.

"It's been a long time, little brother."

They clasped hands, Toramaru holding on a bit tight. The emotion welling up in his chest was almost too much. After all this time, his brother was here. They had been as close as two brothers could possibly be. Almost as close as twins. Hell, they looked so much alike that they were often mistaken as such. InuTaisho was decades older than Toramaru however.

"Where have you been? What happened to you?" Toramaru asked impatiently.

"That is not important at the moment. My fate will be revealed in time. For now, tell me of my sons. How do they fare?"

Even though he wanted to know now, Toramaru decided not to push. It'd be useless anyway; trying to get information out of his big brother. It had always been that way.

"InuYasha has your temper big brother, only ten times worse."

InuTaisho smiled fondly at that.

"A bit of an outcast because of his hanyou blood though. I am ashamed to say I cannot protect him from everything."

InuTaisho nodded solemnly.

"I had not expected you to. I knew well what the consequences of my mating Izaoi would bring him."

"He is a good pup. A bit rough around the edges and wild, but good at heart."

There was a pause between them. Toramaru knew what InuTaisho wanted to ask. He could tell by the pain that filled his amber eyes.

"And Sesshomaru? Does he still…" InuTaisho could not finish his question, but Toramaru knew what he meant.

Did Sesshomaru still hate him? Toramaru chose his words carefully.

"I am sorry to say that Sesshomaru's….feelings for you have not changed." He said softly.

InuTaisho turned and paced away from Toramaru, sadness rolling through him in waves. It was hard for Toramaru to watch his brother in such pain. InuTaisho had made a mistake, that much was true but hadn't he suffered enough? As long as Sesshomaru felt the way he did InuTaisho would never forgive himself.

He would never heal.

"He was young when this happened. He did not understand at the time and because it was not explained to him, he does not understand it now. You cannot continue to blame yourself for this InuTaisho."

InuTaisho stood silent.

"InuTaisho-"

"Yet it is my fault."

"It is not your fault!"

"It is!" InuTaisho said fiercely, turning on Toramaru, "It is my fault do you not see? He was grieving the passing of his mother. I was not there for him. I was too intent on mating Izaoi, too focused on my own goddamn happiness to pay heed to his pain. He grieved alone. I was happy with my new mate while his mother lay cold in the ground."

Such pain filled his amber eyes that Toramaru had to look away. Toramaru had tried to be there for him back then, but Sesshomaru had shut everyone out. He had turned cold and angry, isolating himself from his entire family.

"I failed him." InuTaisho whispered.

They sat in silence awhile before Toramaru spoke once more.

"There is something I have to tell you…"

Toramaru could feel himself waking. Nay! He had to know!

"What is it big brother? What do you have to tell me?" Toramaru asked anxiously.

InuTaisho began to disappear, his body transparent.

"I've returned," he said.

Toramaru opened his eyes.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Thank you all for continuing to read and write reviews. I not only write for my own enjoyment, but for you guys as well. Thank you all.

Also- Woooooo! Fifty chapters! I'm happy!

That is all.

Laters!

~Sessakag