InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ As the Hentai World Turns ❯ One-Shot

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

Disclaimer: I still do not own the characters of Inuyasha, although I have managed to get the dog boy himself into negotiations on that whole 'running away together' thing. We'll see how it works out.

---oOo---

Inuyasha lounged indolently back against the tree he'd been sitting under, eyes plastered to the glowing form of his miko. Of course, she didn't realize he was staring but - who cared, right? She wasn't supposed to. He glanced around discreetly, and caught sight of his friend, Miroku, and, after flicking a quick look back at Kagome, motioned for the hentai wanna-be to come sit by him.

As Miroku sat down, he spoke.

"So, you about ready for another lesson?" He flicked a glance at the monk, grinning slightly. "I've noticed that you've been practicing the control I talked about before - you've done good," he rolled his eyes, "so far, anyway."

Miroku nodded eagerly. "Yes. I have to admit, however, that it is greatly more difficult than I had at first assumed to exercise this control. It is, perhaps, a good thing that I have learned so much patience in my training as a monk." With a sigh, he let his gaze wander to Sango, and smiled. "I am definitely ready for the next lesson, my friend. More than ready."

Inuyasha nodded thoughtfully, his eyes drawn once more to the object of all of his lust and love. She may not know it yet but... she was already his. That stupid Hobo, and even more stupid Koga notwithstanding. Speaking of which - that damn ookami was overdue for one of his infamous visits, and Inuyasha began smirking when he realized that would be a perfect set-up for another of Miorku's 'lessons.'

"Ya know, that baka ookami should be showing up in the next few days... " He trailed off, curious to see if Miroku would figure out why he'd brought the dumbass up.

Miroku turned his head slowly and looked at his hanyou friend thoughtfully, thinking back over their many meetings with the ookami prince - and beginning to see where Inuyasha might be going with this. "So... your hated rival is actually more than that, isn't he? Do you mean to say that you use his little incursions into your territory as chances to get your hands on Kagome?"

Inuyasha grinned smugly. "Yup. Come on, isn't it a perfect little scheme? Kagome would never believe that I actually like it when that bastard shows up - but, what always happens when he does? I get full-body Kagome contact, and I get it more than once. Then, when I 'drag her off to make her wash off that filthy ookami smell', I get some alone time and more touching opportunities as well. Koga makes a great excuse." He rolled his eyes and smirked. "Of course, that's all he's good for, but..."

Miroku snickered, then leaned back on one arm and cast his eyes on the early evening sky. "So, my next lesson begins when Koga shows up, is that it?"

"You got it monk, and this time, pay close attention to everything, 'cause I'm gonna test you on it later."

"Test?"

"Yeah... I'm gonna expect you to plan out a good grope attack on Sango, and in order to pass, you gotta get a nice feel in, without being smacked for being a hentai. Understand?" Inuyasha watched the monk closely.

"He nodded. "Indeed, Inuyasha. I will pay very close heed, I promise on my honor as a monk."

Inuyasha snorted at that. "That don't mean much, bouzo. That don't mean much at all."

He snickered at Miroku's offended glare.

---oOo---

Kagome closed her eyes, smiling just a little at the obvious preoccupation of the guys lounging around on the other side of their little camp. She turned her head and gazed over at her best friend.

"Hey, Sango?"

Sango turned and looked over at Kagome, then peeked out of the corner of her eye back at the two hentai's sitting across the fire talking quietly to each other. Her eyes narrowed suspiciously. "Yeah, Kagome?"

Kagome giggled, and nodded her head just slightly towards the guys. "You noticed that they're planning something hentai, right?"

Sango sighed, shaking her head. "It's pretty obvious... but what do you think they're up to?"

Kagome tapped her chin thoughtfully with a dainty finger, looking into the deepening blue of the sky. "Knowing Inuyasha, it's probably something to do with Koga. It's about time for him to show up again, and Inu loves taking advantage of his presence."

Sango's eyes widened in shock. "Koga? He even uses Koga to make free with your body? I thought he hated Koga!"

"Oh, he does, but, like any dedicated hentai, he'll use any situation he can. So - I'll help him along." She grinned wickedly over at her friend. "Watch and learn, Sango, because the next set-up is gonna be yours. I'll even help you plan it if you want, but it's time for you to get your feet wet as a new-born hentai, my friend, it's definitely time."

Sango blushed, a tiny, almost evil smirk, settling on her lips.

You won't even know what hit you, Miroku, I promise you that.

---oOo---

Sango and Miroku both paid very close attention two days later when, just as their friends had predicted, Koga showed up, making an ass out of himself as usual.

It was immediately obvious to both of them just how much 'touching' Inuyasha was able to get in, but what was less obvious, was how much of that 'touching', was actually instigated by, and even performed by, Kagome herself. In fact, only Sango noticed, and she was indeed impressed with just how sneaky the woman was. Even Inuyasha himself didn't realize - he was still under the illusion that all of it was his doing - and positive that his innocent little Kagome herself had no clue as to what he was up to.

Innocent my ass, thought Sango, inwardly laughing maniacally. Those two baka men don't have a clue what they're up against with Kagome... and soon enough, Miroku's gonna be on the receiving end of the same sneaky behavior from me.

She looked over at Miroku almost pityingly.

Kagome, after all, was an awesome teacher, and after witnessing the things she had today, she already had several ideas of her own... and she would run them by her mentor later that evening when it was bath time.

She could hardly wait.

---oOo---

"So, bouzo... did'ya see how I worked things to my advantage today? Bastard ookami annoys the hell outta me, but he's useful enough in some ways. You can use just about anything to get a hand on your woman, if you know what to look for, and how to use what you find."

Miroku nodded sagely. "Hai, I saw how you used your enemy to your advantage. I never would have realized what you were doing had you not pointed it out, however. I always just took your behavior around him as juvenile."

Inuyasha gave him a satisfied, arrogant smirk. "Keh. That's cause that's what I want everyone to think. I mean, that's what Kagome thinks, isnt it? And so, she doesn't have a clue that it's all a lie - a simple excuse to get my hands all over her. It would never occur to her... and so, I'm safe. No screams of 'hentai', no being sat, and no one chasing me with hiraikotsu because I'm a lecher."

He caught his friends gaze with his own cocky one.

"Both the girls are totally clueless when it comes to me... all they see is your hentai behavior. You get hurt, and I get a free pass to grope my girl with no one the wiser. What could be better than that?"

Miroku rolled his eyes at Inuyasha. "Perhaps, my friend. But what are you going to do when they are no longer focusing on my hentai behavior?"

Inuyasha stared at Miroku. Swallowing hard, he was suddenly not so sure about what he was doing.

Maybe I shoulda thought about this a little more - I think I mighta just made my life a little harder...

---oOo---

A/N: And for all those dedicated hentai's out there, thanks for tuning in for another episode of 'As the Hentai World Turns'. We'll see you next time!

Amber