InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Beautiful Disaster ❯ What's It Feel Like To Be A Ghost? ( Chapter 1 )

[ Y - Young Adult: Not suitable for readers under 16 ]

Beautiful Disaster

Chapter 1: What's It Feel Like To Be A Ghost?

He struck the last chord and the crowd didn't move an inch. Most of their jaws were dragging the ground, and some women had tears in the corners of their eyes. Inuyasha definitely had a way with a guitar…

“We'll be here all week and next, I think,” he mumbled into the solitary microphone standing before him. He stood and pulled the guitar strap from his shoulder, wiping dried tears from his face, his claws raking over the irritated skin.

…And that voice! Kagome had never heard a more alluring sound. She caught herself nearly drowning in her drink as she remembered to breathe, and began to cough violently, standing up and choking an entire mouthful onto the stage at Inuyasha's feet as he was nearing the stairs. His little doggy ears swiveled toward her as his eyes narrowed at the sludge she'd coughed up in front of him. Most of the crowd was still watching in silent wonder as a low growl began to resonate deep from within Inuyasha's chest.

“Watch it, bi- he began to roar out, but snapped his mouth closed when he saw her face.

`Kikyou?' It couldn't be, he reasoned with himself. But this girl - she was nearly identical to her in every physical way possible. `Younger. Maybe a little softer around the edges…'

She crouched over, heaving with every cough as if she may hack up a lung, body thrusting with reckless abandon. Inuyasha shoved his guitar into Miroku's face - the bassist of the band - and jumped off the front of the stage to crouch before her.

“Hey!” he said pulling her face up to gaze at him, patting her gently on the back to calm her breathing. She turned her face away quickly as she coughed once - twice more before she could breathe again, her shoulders rising and falling as she gasped for breath. He caught her before she toppled onto her side, nearly landing in the mess her body had just rejected, a thick brown puddle splattered on the floor beside her. She fell into his side - harder than expected when his arm constricted around her - and reflexively pushed away.

“I'm so sorry!” she sputtered, knocked off balance again as she tried to stand. Inuyasha grabbed her hand to steady her as he glared up at the small audience that had gathered to watch. When some of them looked elsewhere - intimidated by his gaze - and scattered, he looked back down at the woman beside him.

“Don't… be sorry. It's not… your… fault,” he said as he stared at her hand, clasped tightly by his own, his thumb stroking the back of it caringly. It was as if Kikyou were here with him again… her mahogany eyes roaming his body, chest heaving, long raven hair pushed behind her shoulders…

She couldn't help but blush as he looked her over, not releasing her hand from his own while doing so. She shook her arm, his grip going immediately slack and releasing her at the action. “Sorry,” he said as he backed up two steps, giving her some breathing room. Something hit him in the back of the head - hard - and he whirled around to see Miroku with the neck of his guitar mere inches from the back of his head.

“What the-?”

“Now now, Inuyasha, maybe we should all just sit down and share a drink. Drinks on us,” Miroku grinned at Kagome over Inuyasha's shoulder. He looked absolutely ecstatic to be in her presence. Inuyasha rolled his eyes.

“I don't think I should-

“He's never gonna shut up if you don't sit down with us… just let him drink like the slimy fish that he is and you can leave,” Inuyasha said unwaveringly. “If he touches you, I'll punch his teeth out and shoot `em back at him.” Miroku looked sheepishly at her and Inuyasha pierced him with a glare meant to kill. “Please… it's the least I can do. You nearly choked to death,” he added, turning to face her again and putting his hand lightly to the small of her back. He felt really guilty.

She sighed inwardly. All she wanted was to go home and get some shut-eye, maybe overdose on sleeping pills and never wake up. Was that too much to ask?

“Sure,” she supplied with a dainty grin, leading the way to the counter. They followed behind her, a smirk pasted on Miroku's face while Inuyasha could only think one word as he watched her walk, hips swaying to and fro. `Kikyou…'

---------------beautiful-disaster---------------

A new bartender was working now - his nametag said `Kouga: Bar Tender'- and Inuyasha wasn't liking him… not to say that Kagome was, either. He was a wolf youkai, and was flirting with her as if they were the only two in the room.

“So what'll it be, babe?” he asked slyly, leaning over the counter, his breath warming her face. He reeked of… booze.

“You been sucking on the tap again, fleabag?” Inuyasha drawled, his eyes half lidded as he scraped the peeling varnish off the counter with his claws. Kagome watched in amusement as his eyes narrowed when Kouga approached him. “You could get fired for that, you know.”

“Then it's a good thing I'm not, mutt.”

That word struck home, and Inuyasha shot up, knocking his chair back. “Then does your breath just naturally reek of cheap vodka, half-wit?!” Inuyasha nearly yelled, fangs bared.

While Inuyasha and Kouga sized each other up, Miroku put his hand on Kagome's shoulder, drawing her attention. “So what's your name?” he asked politely enough, leaning a bit closer to her.

“Not you, too.” Inuyasha roared from the other side of Kagome, his ears flat against his head, poised and ready to lunge at Miroku. He opened his mouth to retort, but when Inuyasha lunged forward, both of them were stopped by a hand to the chest.

“Maybe I should leave - I'm causing too much trouble.” She stood up quietly and slung her bag over her shoulder. Inuyasha reached out to stop her, catching her fingers in his own, and she turned back to yell. But she couldn't. She was caught by his golden gaze, melting her from within, and she stood staring with her mouth hanging wide open.

“Hey wolf,” Inuyasha sneered over his shoulder, nose wrinkling with disgust. “Bring us two Dry Manhattans.” He slowly returned his gaze to Kagome, pulling her back to the stool next to him. He didn't let her hand go. Miroku took notice.

“Inuyasha, I know what you're thinking but-

“Keh, shut the hell up, Miroku,” he bit back, releasing her hand with more force than necessary. Kagome looked between the two of them before noticing Kouga approaching them again.

“So who do these go to?” he asked, standing in front of Inuyasha - gazing longingly at Kagome.

“Stop drooling, wolf,” Inuyasha taunted, pointing between himself and Kagome. Kouga left the drinks while Miroku complained out loud. “Buy your own drink, pervert,” Inuyasha scoffed.

Miroku let out a `hmph' and Inuyasha's eyes rested on Kagome's face again. The way he looked at her… it was as if he wasn't seeing her at all, but a ghost of his past - someone who had much more meaning than `a girl he had caused to nearly choke to death'. Tingles ran up and down her spine before she broke the lock of their gaze on one another. Pushing her hair behind her ear, she cleared her throat, a light blush warming her face.

“Um… can I ask why you keep looking at me like that?” She hadn't meant to go about the subject so bluntly - it just came out that way. Miroku choked on his drink and Inuyasha's eyes widened before focusing on his claws, his eyes darkening. Tears stung the backs of his eyes as he squeezed them closed, his effort in vain as memories flooded his brain.

“You… look like my… ex-girlfriend.”

“In fact, you're almost identical,” Miroku piped in, earning a bloodcurdling growl from Inuyasha, his claws gouging the counter as he shook in pained agony.

A swell of emotions overwhelmed her. First of all, she was rather insulted at the thought of him helping her only because of the way she looked - because she reminded him of something he'd lost. Her face grew brighter red with every second that passed, while Inuyasha merely looked at the liquid swirling lazily in his glass. Miroku dragged his fingers down his face in disbelief that the night had taken such a downward spiral.

Kagome stood up to grab her bag, leaning down, wondering how her day had gone so horribly wrong. As she shook her head in disbelief, she caught sight of the guitar next to Miroku. Something finally clicked into place in her mind as she put two and two together.

“That's who you were singing to, wasn't it?” She asked as she straightened her back, leaning on the stool, grabbing the martini glass and taking a sip before sitting down again.

“Y… Yeah,” he replied quietly, meeting her eyes again with his own, for the first time noticing the dark smudges under her eyes. “Not to be mean or nothin'… but you look horrible,” he said glancing down at her crumpled dress shirt and slacks. “Long day at work?”

“You could say that…” she said with a laugh, merely brushing his comment off her shoulder. In reality, she wanted to collapse where she sat, and was actually considering it… but there were still questions she wanted answered.

“So… I'm guessing she broke up with you?” she asked, taking another sip as Inuyasha turned to stare at her incredulously. “What?” she inquired, not appreciating his scrutinous stare.

“Maybe it'd be better if-

“No. It's fine Miroku…” Inuyasha cut in, looking up to stare at Kagome with remembrance in his eyes. “She died in a car crash about six months ago,” he said dejectedly, remembering the look of her broken body as she lay in the hospital bed, barely clinging to life.

“I'm… I'm so sorry… I didn't mean to bring up painful memories.”

“It's okay. The only part that hurts anymore is the fact that I couldn't go with her,” he said staring forward blankly, eyes opaque. “I was driving and…” his grip tightened around the stem of his glass, “…and the other car hit on the passenger side. She was barely breathing when they took her away on the stretcher. I… her blood was everywhere.” His voice was laced with grit, and with every word it sounded like his throat was being torn to shreds. His forehead creased. “She took the blow full force and all I got was a couple scratches. If she'd been driving… we both would've lived.”

“Because you're a demon, right?” she asked speculatively.

“Hanyou,” he corrected, waiting for the look on her face to be replaced with disgust. It never came.

“Oh,” she said nonchalantly, turning back to her drink and glancing at Miroku. “Are you a two person band?” she wondered out loud, glancing around the mostly empty room.

“No. Kai, our drummer, can't stand me,” Inuyasha supplied. “Ever since Kikyou died - since I started doing the acoustic performance - he doesn't stick around longer than he needs to. Says I should pull my head out of my ass and get it together.”

“That's horrible!” she gasped, clutching her glass tighter - tight enough for her arm to start shaking. “You should be allowed to mourn as long as you need to… what would he do if someone he really cared about died?”

“Kai isn't like that,” Miroku said gruffly from behind her. “He's gone through about thirty girls in the last two years, thinks all they're good for is a nice romp in the sheets.”

“Can't you find a more decent guy for your drummer?”

“Unfortunately, no. I've looked around… any nice guy we come across can't do a damn thing with the set. Kai's the best drummer in New York City. No matter the conflicts, it's part of the job. Gotta get through an hour or two with him for the paycheck. Five-hundred bucks a night split three ways, no arguments. Everyone goes home happy,” Inuyasha explained.

“At least you've got a job. I just got fired. The boss `Doesn't need a columnist that wants to write about the flaws in the community'. On top of that, my piece-of-shit car won't start. That's why I ended up here - to get drunk and find a ride.”

“Well if you're looking to get drunk, maybe we should get you something stronger,” Miroku suggested, quirking his eyebrows at her suggestively.

“You're as bad as Kai when it comes to trying to get into a woman's pants,” Inuyasha accused. “I'll give you a ride if you need it. I could look over your car, too.”

“You're too kind,” Kagome commented, blushing at Miroku's comment. “That hunk of metal isn't even worth fixing. Besides, I don't really have any means of compensation. I probably won't be able to pay my share of the rent as it is.”

“Roommate?!” Miroku hooted. `Two beautiful women sleeping under the same roof?'

“Calm down boy,” Inuyasha ordered, not catching the irony in his command. “Free of charge,” he offered to Kagome, smiling whole-heartedly for the first time of the night. “Just show me where it is on the way to your place - I'll look it over tomorrow - I don't have to show up here `til seven.”

“Okay, thanks,” she said, pushing her hair back again, blush still very visible on her cheeks.

“No problem,” Inuyasha stated, a fire lit behind his eyes that Miroku hadn't seen in months. He cleared his throat and stood up.

“I think I'm going to turn in for the night,” Miroku muttered, pushing in his chair. “Don't forget your guitar.”

“What's with you? You never leave before me,” Inuyasha claimed. “You usually don't leave until you don't know your name…” he continued, smirking at Miroku as he stopped in his tracks.

“I just feel like leaving early tonight, is there a problem with that?”

“We'll see,” Inuyasha retorted, turning to watch Miroku retreat toward the door.

Miroku's mind was running rampant with thoughts of Kagome and that fire behind Inuyasha's gaze. `He used to give those looks to Kikyou.Maybe he's finally found someone who can heal him… maybe…'

---------------beautiful-disaster---------------

After another twenty minutes of friendly conversation, Inuyasha suggested that they be going. Apparently he'd inhaled enough smoke for the night, and his vision was starting to blur. Kagome didn't object. Kouga had just tried to come on to her again. They both stood up and gathered their things. Inuyasha slung the guitar over his shoulder - a vintage Fender, candy apple red - and followed Kagome out.

He led her to his car, a 1970 Chevelle - multiple shades of grey, rust holes in the passenger door, probably an extra tire in the trunk. “This is my fixer-upper,” he said patting the hood of the neglected vehicle. “All that really matters is that she's got two seats and a working engine, right?”

“Yep,” Kagome said truthfully, reaching out for the handle and pulling it open. She'd never been one to judge, and considering her current transportation situation, he was one up on her just because the engine rumbled to life when he turned the key in the ignition.

“So where to?” he asked, pulling out of the parking spot, cruising slowly to the parking lot's exit. He clicked his headlights on.

“The car is in front of the newspaper place up the street,” she said, reaching in front of him to point out his window. He stepped on the gas, zooming out in between the oncoming traffic. They went about a mile before she said “There!”

“You walked all that way?” Inuyasha asked sympathetically.

“Yeah, I was so pissed I guess I lost track of how far I'd walked. Huh.”

He pulled to the curb, coming to a complete stop when she pointed directly across the street. “That white one?”

“Yeah. It wouldn't start earlier; when I turned the key there was absolutely no response from the engine.”

“No problem, I'll pick you up tomorrow so we can look at it together. It shouldn't be too much trouble,” he said from the seat beside her shrugging his shoulders.

“Okay.” For some reason her heart rate increased drastically when he suggested that they see each other again tomorrow. Even if he was mourning, there was no doubt that he had an inhuman like beauty about him, and her mind couldn't very well handle it. She was practically drooling as his velvety voice snapped her back into the here and now.

“So where do you call home?” he asked, pulling into the street again, merging into the middle lane.

“Manhattan Apartments just around the corner here,” she replied pointing out her window.

Pulling into the parking lot, his eyes gravitated to the peeling paint on the walls. He couldn't believe that someone so pretty and so happy could live somewhere likethis. He turned the key, letting the engine stay idle for a moment. “Let me walk you up,” he offered politely, getting out and coming around to open her door. It felt strange to him - he hadn't catered to a woman - hadn't wanted to for months… but with Kagome it felt like the most natural thing in the world.

“Thank you,” she said, standing up and walking next to him. The frigid night air bit at her arms and she shivered, her body shaking involuntarily.

Inuyasha couldn't help but notice and began to slip off his worn leather jacket. From behind her, he draped it over her shoulders, leaning forward to whisper in her ear as she tried to shrug it off. “Don't worry, just give it back tomorrow; I don't get cold.” Her face heated up and she remained silent as they approached the door of her apartment, a brass `316' hanging from the off-white door. She reached into her pocket to pull out a tiny brass key and inserted it in the door, a burst of warm air escaping when she opened it.

She looked back to thank him and tried to close the door, but not before he caught it, keeping it open. “I never did get your name.”

She stood in stunned silence as Sango, her roommate, walked up behind her.

“Who's the hunk, Kagome?” she asked childishly, peeking at him over her shoulder. Kagome's face lit up in flames and her eyes widened dramatically.

“If you didn't catch that, it's Kagome. See ya tomorrow,” she chirped as quickly as possible, closing the door in his face, clicking all of the doors' locks into place.

“Wow,” he whispered, exhaling. As he strolled back to his car in the cool night air, a name resonated through his mind, but this time it wasn't Kikyou.

---------------beautiful-disaster---------------

“Sango! How could you?” Kagome basically screamed, though she did so while trying to hold back her laughter.

“What can I say, he's hot and you need a man.”

“Like you don't,” Kagome shot back, narrowing her eyes at her friend.

“Great point… does this guy have any friends?”

“N…” Kagome gave that question a second thought and turned back to Sango. “Yes, actually. Why don't you come to the bar with us tomorrow night? He's in a band.”

“Ooh, a little date perhaps?”

“Nothing of the sort, for me at least… I'm going to play match-maker with you and Miroku,” she said with an accomplished grin, putting her hands on her hips and walking down the hall to the bedroom to get her pajamas. Sango followed Kagome with her gaze and shouted after her. “He better be cute!”

Kagome walked back out into the living room and curled up on the couch. “I think he's just your type.”

They had `girl talk' for a few minutes before Kagome explained to Sango how she'd lost her job and was dead tired. “I'm gonna go crash,” she said sauntering down the hallway with heavy feet; heavier eyelids. She fell face down on her bed, plush comforter a relief to her exhausted body. Cracking her eyes open for the last time, she saw the blurred outline of the bottle of sleeping pills sitting on the nightstand.

`To hell with it… there may still be hope…'And she was out like a light.

---------------beautiful-disaster---------------

A/N:

The name of the chapter was to show how Kagome felt when she learned that she looked like Kikyou, and that was who Inuyasha was associating her with.

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