InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Beautiful Disaster ❯ Beautiful Disaster ( One-Shot )

OK, people have been buggin about my one shot not being completed. Sad to say, that's what one shots are, no matter how well they're written. Here's another one, it's another KxI! Kind of a PWP that came up, blizzard stereotypical fic, with a twist! Kami, there is much fluff in this thing as well; I'm such a smut and fluff whore.

 

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters of Inuyasha; Goddess knows how I'd sell a kidney to do so! And I don't own this song either, Kelly Clarkson does!

 

Warning: This is the only one I'll give, not intended for those underage!

 

~He drowns in his dreams

An exquisite extreme ~

 

“Now what?! Dammit Kagome, pick up the pace already!”

 

Inuyasha yelled, peering through the white curtain that kept blurring his vision of Kagome behind him. Worry was starting to set in because of the rapidly dropping temperature they were traveling in. They had split from Sango, Shippou and Miroku when the presence of two Shikon no Kakera had been sensed; in opposite directions, it figured something of that kind of matter would have happened. He suddenly couldn't smell Kagome's soothing scent any longer, which was what prompted him to whirl around and yell at her, thinking she had stopped because she had dropped something from that damned pack of hers. Why she brought so much was beyond his understanding, especially with that whole food thing. Didn't she know that he'd provide for them all? Though, that ramen was a good thing, he didn't mind having that nightly. His eyes scanned around frantically for the fragile young woman he had traveled with for about three years now. He barely caught the scent, faint and cold, underneath a pile of snow about four yards away. Cursing himself for being such an idiot and insensitive fool, Inuyasha jumped, landing up to his hips in the soft snow beside Kagome scowling.

 

`Figures, I try and go to her and what happens, I get stuck up to my fucking waist in this slush.'

 

Growling and pinning his ears back against his skull, slowly the irritated hanyou pulled himself from the snow and broke a path to Kagome.

 

“C'mon already onna, get up. No sleepin when it's like this, you wanna die?!”

 

She didn't move, the long raven tresses he was so fond of fell over her paler than usual kin. His heart stopped as he reached out a shaky hand and felt clumsily for her pulse. He swore darkly in relief as the faint beat registered on his sensitive fingertips... When he moved aside her hair, he noticed immediately that her lips had a faint bluish cast to their usually sakura pink color. He didn't know the technical term for it but, he did know that usually the skin didn't turn that particular color unless something was very very wrong. Inuyasha's heart began to pound even harder as he shakily scooped her up, her clothes were soaking wet, much like his hakama and half of his inner kimono and haori were, but he didn't care so much about himself as he did about her. If he didn't get her somewhere warm, she'd die and he wouldn't be able to live with himself if he failed one more woman that he loved. There really wasn't anywhere he could take her; it was like there wasn't any form of village or anything around for miles around. She wouldn't last that long, even if he went at his fastest speed. Inuyasha swore darkly again and looked down at the shivering form of Kagome, shrugging off his haori and wrapping it one handed around her body as best he could. He'd rather freeze to death and give her his own warmth than have both of them die.

 

`Kagome, hold on, I'm trying.'

 

“Kagome, you have to wake up.”

 

He said, holding her closer to his body, trying to force the heat into her body from his. A low moan of pain caught his ears from the violently cold girl in his arms.

 

“I-I-Inuy-y-y-yasha?”

 

“Stay awake Kagome, I need you to stay awake for me.”

 

Dull almost lifeless blue-grey eyes opened, looking past him as her teeth chattered from the cold. He swore darkly, his fingers pinched the back of her neck roughly, snapping the girl into focus due to the pain. The reproachful and hurt look in her eyes wounded his heart but, he'd deal with that later as he responded to her.

 

`Whatever I can do to keep her awake, I'll do it.'

 

“Didn't like that huh? Tough, you'd better stay fucking awake Kagome or I'll do it harder next time.”

 

Kagome's head was fuzzy as she felt them soar suddenly through the thick white air, the cold wind tore at her soaked body, causing her to whimper and shiver even harder, she kept her mouth closed in fear that she'd bite her own tongue off. Through the howl of the wind she could hear his heartbeat; distantly she wondered why it sounded so loud and fast. A scream left her mouth as she heard him yell out in rage and pain as he dropped her. Her eyes barely focused on an arrow that had dug into his arm and vibrated there as she fell towards the white clad world below.

 

`What happened? Who would have shot…him…?'

 

He yelled in anger and no small amount of pain as he glared at the endless stretch of white below him. Dammit, he had lost sight of whoever had shot him and made him drop Kagome. They must have been wearing white, the bastards. He changed his direction and propelled himself off a tree branch and managed to barely get under Kagome before she hit the snow covered ground. Her small frame striking his body made the air rush from his lungs in a whoosh. At the moment he wished this was some kind of stupid dream that he'd wake from in an instant but, the reality of Kagome's whimpering and shivering body, not to mention the bite of the cold below him, informed him otherwise.

 

`This is going to hurt like fuck tomorrow.'

 

“D-Dammit, Kagome, are you alright?!”

 

“H-Hai...b-but…”

 

“Good, hold on.”

 

~ I know he's as damned as he seems

And more heaven than a heart could hold~

 

He noticed something dark among all of the blinding whiteness of the snow. It was extremely small, probably only meant for one person and maybe a child or two that was smaller in age and size, but, the smaller it was, the more heat he could produce to help warm Kagome up. Struggling to hold Kagome away from the snow and pick himself up, Inuyasha scowled darkly as he slowly made his way towards the rejected looking wooden structure in front of his eyes. His breath came in a ragged gasp as he shouldered the door aside, tracking in a bunch of the icy white element that he'd rather not have tracked in.

 

`S-shit…it's almost like someone was fucking waiting for us, there's a fire in here and everything. What kind of trick is this?!'

 

“Kagome, you awake?!”

 

*******************************

 

The figure rose from the snowdrift they had hidden inside, a smile on her cold pale features contrasted with the longing and regret inside her eyes while she turned away and began to walk off, her hands gripped the bow a little less tightly as she stopped at the edge of the clearing, the small hut barely a speck in her vision as she watched the wind blow a curtain of snow across the expanse of the land, briefly hiding the hut as a forlorn smile crossed her eyes. Her back turned once more as she left the area, knowing that had been her last chance to bid her farewells.

 

`It is best this way, he had chosen already, though he did know realize it. Farewell Inuyasha.'

 

*******************************

 

Inuyasha cursed as he kicked the door a little harder than necessary closed; now the damn thing was going to be stuck there until morning or afternoon. He gently set Kagome down on to the futon, narrowing his eyes as he sniffed for the scent of the person who had done all of this. Once again dark furious curses escaped his mouth in a fit of temper as he couldn't find a single trace.

 

`Covered up their scent, dammit!'

 

Kagome's eyesight was blurry as she opened them again; blinking back lids that felt like a thousand textbooks were resting on them and looking over weakly at the cursing form of Inuyasha. It was kind of funny, in a kind of pathetic kind of way. She didn't know why cursing seemed to suit his personality so well, maybe it was because he was such a wild person and spirit. Something didn't seem right about him; Kagome frowned to herself through her thick heavy thoughts before she finally realized what it was. He was clad in his inner kimono and hakama, the crimson fire rat haori he wore was gone.

 

`Why…'

 

A flash of red caught her eyes as she noticed what was wrapped around her shoulders. Tears filled her eyes as she watched him mutter unflattering things about the tree the door had been built from and what it could go do to itself for being so stubborn. The scent of her tears reached him, causing the hanyou to sniff curiously for a moment before he whirled and was immediately at her side, concern overlaying his initial annoyance at smelling the harsh and acrid salty scent of her tears.

 

`He removed one of the only sources of warmth he had for me. Kami knows I'm not worthy.'

 

`Dammit, did she get hurt from the fall?!'

 

“Kagome, what's goin on?”

 

She shook her head as a new tremor of cold breached through her body, the violent trembling continued as she tried to curl up into a ball to preserve any warmth she had left.

 

`He's so worried about me, how long have I been able to distinguish his facial expressions this well?'

 

“C-Cold.”

 

The less said the better, otherwise she'd end up either biting her tongue clean in half or wind up saying more than she'd want to say. The fire's heat was staring to reach her nearly popsicle like body, or at least that's what she felt like. Inuyasha swore under his breath again, an oath strong enough to make her ears turn red before he entered a rather smaller, darker part of the hut that seemed to be attached to the tiny thing. She thought it was probably some kind of storage area, maybe for food or something. Her eyes nearly popped out of their sockets when he came in bare chested, in weather that was probably about ten to fifteen degrees below zero at that. Something hit her body; she looked down at it and felt her eyes fill up again with tears. The soft cream colored inner kimono he always wore was laying in her lap, the warmth from his body slowly beginning to seep out of it.

 

`He'd risk dying from the cold himself for me. Inuyasha……'

 

“I-I can't t-take this...”

 

Inuyasha felt his heart stop in his chest at the look Kagome was giving him. He knew looks similar to the ones she was giving him from his past and he hated those ones. The same damn looks his mother had given him whenever he had asked her the question of what a “hanyou” had been. He had finally found out after his mother had died. It meant he was a disgrace among everything and everyone, a freak of nature, an accident, hell, take your pick, he was any and all of those. Scowling darkly to himself and muttering something unintelligible under his breath, the hanyou boy shot back a reply over his shoulder.

 

`Dammit, if there was one person I don't want to fucking look at me like that, it's Kagome.'

 

“Keh, you need something dry on, too fucking bad if that ain't good enough for you.”

 

Her eyes darkened slightly, he had been acting like this for about a month now, when ever he'd bring something to her, she'd politely thank him if she needed it and if not, said thank you anyway and not use it. Always he'd get angry and storm off, swearing that he “never should have fucking bothered” and other things like that. Shaking her head, Kagome stood on wobbly legs and gasped, collapsing back on to her rear as a shooting pain shot up her legs, leaving behind the sensation that pins and needles were stabbing into her skin and bones inside her legs.

 

`I must have lost some of the circulation in my legs because of the cold.'

 

“Itai…”

 

Inuyasha heard the soft whimper of pain and turned around immediately and swallowed hard, that goddamn short skirt of hers, what the hell were the people in her time thinking when they made them wear that in the snowfall, was pushed up to reveal more of her thighs than could have already been showed, making him rather uncomfortable due to the sudden thickening of his blood.

 

`Sh-Shit, why the hell doesn't she have more common sense than that?!'

 

He swallowed hard against the sudden familiar ache that coursed through his veins and knelt beside Kagome, trying to ignore the closeness of her body and the overpowering smell of her sweet scent. His eyes couldn't find anything wrong with her so, why the hell'd she cry out?!

 

“Why'd you yelp like that?”

 

A small barely visible blush plastered on her cheeks but not unattractively so as Kagome rubbed one leg, wincing at the stabbing pains that signaled the returning blood flow to that particular limb. It was one thing when she rode on his back and he was holding her legs against his hips to make sure she'd not fall of but, this was another thing entirely to have him this close. A stray thought began to creep into her mind and was quickly stamped back down and shoved away, the blush darkening a little from the thoughts that had tried to make themselves apparent.

 

'This is so not the time to be fantasizing about him Kagome!'

 

“My legs hurt, it's nothing really, the blood's just returning back to normal.”

 

OK that hadn't sounded as worldly as she'd have liked it to sound, or as strong either, she thought after a moment. While she was berating herself for thinking like Miroku, Inuyasha gave her a curious glance and reached out to the leg that was being neglected, telling himself that he was only doing this because she needed the blood flow to get regulated again as he began to firmly rub against the chilled skin of her thigh.

 

`Yeah right, more like I'm dying to fucking touch her.'

 

When she jerked her head up, knocking her skull into his forehead, he noticed through a pain filled haze that her cheeks were a deeper rose color, of course he preferred that over the almost bluish white cast her skin had had when he had picked her up out of the snow. Something had changed, though it was very subtle, in her scent but, he couldn't figure it out at the moment.

 

~And if I try to save him

My whole world could cave in

It just ain't right

It just ain't right~

 

He swallowed hard and tried to keep his focus on getting her smooth skin to warm up under his hand. Shit, now he was thinking like Miroku again, dammit! Silently promising to kill the lech later for even installing such thoughts into his head, not that he had needed the help, Inuyasha swallowed and forced back the quell of arousal that kept flaring up to the small sounds Kagome was making even as his hand traveled further up her leg, almost reaching her hip before he stopped and made his way back down.

 

`I don't need to fucking go that high………screw it, yeah I do.'

 

Kagome felt a different kind of warmth start to flow through her veins, she hoped that he couldn't smell anything at the moment, OK it was a rather selfish and horrible thought but still, she'd much rather not explain that to him if he asked her. It'd be embarrassing as anything she had ever been through yet. She shook herself out of the slight daze she was in, watching his hand move up and down, massaging her thigh…OK back to the present! She thought to herself as she felt another shiver pass through her, causing the amber eyed hanyou to look up at her curiously, ear twitching appealingly on his head, forcing the young miko to use every last ounce of restraint not to reach out and fondle them as they were begging to be.

 

`I think that snow did more good when I was in it than I'm doing out of it.'

 

“Th-thanks. Y-you should put this b-back on, y-you'll catch c-c-cold if you d-don't.”

 

Oh how she hated that stutter at the moment. Stupid cold had frozen all handy and available brain cells with her blood. Come to think of it, she wasn't really feeling so cold anymore, she was actually kind of drowsy and warm. Why on earth did he feel so warm to her just then? She wondered to herself as she felt her body begin to descend towards his, colliding into his strong torso as she closed her eyes happily, feeling lighter than she had been the past few days. Hell, she was almost giddy with how warm Inuyasha's skin was against her wet clothing. Inuyasha cursed his luck multiple times in many different forms as Kagome's soaked body pretty much flopped into his lap, as if…no, he was not going to think like that.

 

`Definitely going to remedy that perverted bouzu's problem when I get back.'

 

“Oi baita, get up, you can't fuckin lie on me like that.”

 

She moaned softly as he tried to move her off, her arms encircling his waist as she rubbed her head against his bare chest, a small sigh of contentment escaping her throat as she relaxed. He swallowed hard and carefully used his claws to begin to cut away her outlandish school uniform, who ever made the damn things must have had a mind similar to Miroku's if they wanted the females in her time to wear this in the winter time. He told himself it was to get her warmed up faster, but that damn little niggling area in the back of his mind taunted him relentlessly about the fun he could have if he'd only just take advantage of the opportunity… He shoved that corner down and beat the living hell out of it with a mental Tetsusaiga blow back into the corner it was supposed to be in. Soon enough she was bared to his gaze, much to his discomfort and relief.

 

`Now what?!'

 

He thought desperately as he nudged the girl's side with one finger, careful not to jab her with his claw.

 

“Wench, get up. I mean it dammit!”

 

A sleepy reply answered him as she only cuddled closer, curling up into a little Kagome scented ball.

 

`So warm…'

 

“Sure you do, I believe you…”

 

Yeah right, and he was the fucking ruler of the world. Inuyasha thought scowling at the girl's sleepy tone of voice. It was taking too much effort not to bend down and kiss some part of that soft looking skin. His eyes wandered shamelessly over her body, stopping abruptly at 5 small crescent shaped scars on her upper bicep. Those were news to him, he knew that scar just above her hip was from the Shikon no Tama forcefully removed from her when they had first met. But why the hell those five littler ones bothered him he didn't know. Frowning as he nudged her over to her other side and found his frown deepening as he drew in his eyebrows in confusion. There were the exact same number and shape of scars on her other arm to. What the hell was going on here?! Gently, he ran one fingertip over the outline of one crescent shaped scar.

 

`Where the hell did you get these Kagome?'

 

~Oh and I don't know

I don't know what he's after

But he's so beautiful

Such a beautiful disaster~

 

He'd have to wake her up. There was no avoiding it now, he needed some answers dammit and he needed them now. Inuyasha decided as he gently rolled her over on to her back, almost immediately wishing he hadn't have done that, her bra had been cut away along with her clothes, a slip of hand, or Fate's cruel way of mocking him, he didn't know or really care. As if drawn automatically to the twin sized mounds of flesh, Inuyasha felt his face begin to burn. He had seen her naked before, in the water a few times, probably more than she knew of actually. Although most of those times included the taiji-ya in with her, he hadn't bothered other than the first sweeping glance, as if approving her for something before his gaze had returned to the miko girl.

 

`Hell, now what?!'

 

“Kagome…”

 

OK, that hadn't worked as well as he had thought it had, that and his voice sounded like it had belonged to some kind of squeaky toned rodent youkai. Her eyes opened slightly, meeting the dark honey hue of the hanyou above her. She gave him a dazed smile and reached up one hand to touch his face, frowning on how heavy her arm seemed to be as she lifted it. His eyes had widened in an almost comical surprise when her fingertips brushed against his cheekbone. Inuyasha swallowed hard, knowing that by the minute he'd have to go out and sit in the snow for a while, depending on how long it would take him to get away and how, well, serious the arousal. At the moment, it looked like it'd take a good while. He watched as she murmured something he didn't quite catch and leaned down.

 

“Repeat that wench, I didn't hear you.”

 

Her words were slightly slurred, as if she were in the beginning stages of getting drunk. She pushed herself up with an amazing speed that he hadn't known she had had, and pressed her lips against his, her eyes closing as she smiled against his mouth.

 

What the?! Kagome just fucking KISSED me!'

 

He quickly withdrew, the tightening in his loins signaled that her actions had not gone without some kind of punishment. She whimpered and grabbed his shoulders feebly with her hands.

 

“Inu..yash…a…”

 

“Dammit Kagome, snap out of it!”

 

He bit out at her, ears flattening against his skull as she seemed to draw herself out of what the hell ever that had been a moment ago. Her eyes filled with tears as she noticed her naked body and the way he was holding her away from him. Her hands shakily moved up, but instead of covering her chest, as Inuyasha thought she was going to do, the young woman he had been traveling with for what seemed forever instead covered her face, her shoulders beginning to shake with the force of kept in sobs.

 

`What have I done?! I don't remember even falling asleep and here I am naked and with Inuyasha.'

 

His ears flattened even further as he caught the scent of her tears, dammit, how was it that he always made her cry?! One hand moved up and took her wrist gently, trying to pull it away from her face as he tried to get her to look at him.

 

`Dammit to hell and back, why the hell can't I talk to her without fucking things up?!'

 

“Oi, stop crying onna, I'm not mad at you or anything, you just can't be fallin asleep on me like that, you're still cold.”

 

The sight of her tear filled eyes had always put him the worst of uncomfortable positions for some odd reason. Maybe it was because he couldn't do anything to stop her once she started, and the gods knew how much he despised being helpless. Kagome watched his eyes lighten back to their normal deep sun colored hue with a bit of puzzlement, his eyes had been darker when she had looked at him, were his eyes always like that?

 

`He's mad at me, I know he is.'

 

“Gomen…”

 

`Ah hell, with the apologizing shit again.'

 

“Wench, I told you that I wasn't mad. So quit cryin already.”

 

“Then why did you wake me up?!”

 

His voice caught in his throat as her skin began to pinken from the angry blush that was sending the blood through her body. Forcing his thoughts away, his eyes landed on the small crescent shaped scars on her arms. Perfect for a diversion, he thought as he touched one of the scars with a careful claw.

 

`Time for me to get some answers here.'

 

“When did you get these scars? I don't remember you ever getting hurt there, I'd know if you had.”

 

She raised an eyebrow at the last few words he said to her before worrying her lower lip with her teeth. This wasn't going to be easy to tell him, and if she tried to lie to him about it, things would go to hell and beyond.

 

`Honesty is the best policy but, that doesn't mean it's easy…'

 

“Do you remember that battle with Kaguya?”

 

Inuyasha froze, that was a rather touchy subject that he'd rather not bring back up, he was still kicking himself for falling prey to the bitch's mirror and magic tricks and shit. His eyes avoided hers for the moment as he shifted slightly away from her, brows furrowing down and giving him a rather unusually pensive look.

 

`Don't say it, don't say it.'

 

“Yeah, what about it?”

 

This was going to hurt him, Kagome noticed immediately as the change in his body language and posture alerted her. Her hand was still on one shoulder as she carefully worded her answer.

 

`There's no way not to say it without hurting him even a little bit.'

 

“…………”

 

Inuyasha started to feel the first actual senses of fear begin to run it's cold fingers up his spine, he didn't like where this was going at all. Why the hell was it taking Kagome so long to tell him something?! Didn't she know that she could tell him anything?!

 

`Don't say I did that during one of my youkai moments, what ever you do, don't fucking say that!'

 

“Tell me now Kagome.”

 

“…during that fight with Kaguya, when you…when you began to transform, none of the others could get you to hear them, Miroku-sama tried but, you attacked him as well. They all told me, that I was the only one that could reach you. So, I grabbed on to you, begged you to stop the transformation before it was too late. You…almost lost yourself, I don't know what part of either what I said or did broke through to you. All I know was that I leaned up to kiss you, even though your claws had dug into my arms and shoulders. It wasn't your fault, I know you weren't trying to hurt me Inuyasha, you were in pain yourself, at least, that was how it looked to me.”

 

~And if I could hold on

Through the tears and the laughter

Would it be beautiful?

Or just a beautiful disaster

He's magic and myth

As strong as what I believe

A tragedy with

More damage than a soul should see~~

 

All air rushed out of his lung in a whoosh of a faint squeak of disbelief. He had known it was coming, he had just fucking prayed that Kagome would not say what she had just said. For a while now, he had pestered the monk about the scars on his upper chest and ribcage, now he knew why the monk hadn't answered.

 

`I attacked my own party, my own fucking pack.'

 

Inuyasha opened his mouth to speak then closed it, tears of shame, anger, humiliation, defeat, horror, and self-hatred filled his eyes, scalding his nose with the acrid scent and his eyes with the heated fluid as his head bowed, he had turned his body away from Kagome, his shoulders hunched as his fangs punctured the skin of his lower lip. The same hands he had used so many times to protect Kagome and the members of his “family”, the same fucking traitorous hands that had hurt the people he cared for, more than any stupid fucking jewel, curled into fists, claws that had ripped apart enemies for everyone's safety, now felt alien to him, foreign knife like appendages that dug into the calloused flesh of his palms. He didn't hear Kagome's cry of protest, hell, he didn't feel one goddamn thing at the moment, except for the feeling that he should have let himself die in that battle.

 

`There was no reason for me to do that. No excuse at all!'

 

“Inuyasha, stop!”

 

It was a mistake to have told him, Kagome thought to herself as she stumbled over to his hunched over form. Her eyes had widened in horror as she had watched his fists begin to bleed from his claws digging into his palms. She gently threaded one arm around his neck, hand resting over his heart as her other hand gently rested over his shoulder. Kagome felt the tears fall down her face as she felt his shoulders quivering, she pressed her face into the junction between his neck and shoulder.

 

`Inuyasha, I'm so sorry, I never should have said anything, I'm such an idiot.'

 

“Sumimasen Inuyasha…”

 

A rough choked laugh came from his throat, it was an ugly sound as he spoke, voice sounding like he could break at any given moment.

 

`Why the hell are you still here Kagome?!'

 

“Why the fuck are you apologizing to me?! I'm the one who did that. Might wanna get away from me Kagome, I might do it again, you never know.”

 

The blood flow began to quicken as his fists squeezed tighter, digging the claws in deeper in his flesh.

 

“I could fucking snap at time and kill you, or worse.”

 

Kagome's hand removed itself from his shoulder and grabbed one of his hands, trying desperately to remove his claws from his hand, tears freely fell down her face as she tugged almost violently on his hands. Inuyasha's eyes shot open as he tried to pull away from her and ended up dumping her into his lap; she was still naked as the day she had been born and the Gods damn him if he wasn't enjoying the sight. One arm was still slung around his neck as she held his wrist tightly in her hand. His hand had opened out of pure reaction to her falling, now his blood, his filthy tainted traitorous blood, was sliding down Kagome's arm.

 

`Why is he doing this, why is he pushing me away?!'

 

`Dammit Kagome, just leave me alone, I don't want to hurt you anymore!'

 

His amber eyes had tried to close themselves off but, when he looked into the dark blue-grey storm clouds of Kagome's eyes, he felt like any kind of barrier he had struggled to put up was just stripped away by the expression in her eyes.

 

`Why do you still look at me Kagome? After all I've done to you…'

 

“Kago…”

 

He was silenced as her lips met his for the second time that night, and the third time ever. He felt her fingers, slickened by his dirty blood, lace through his and hold on tightly, making any chance he had of trying to dig his claws back into his hand impossible. She couldn't take it, that wounded look in his eyes. That one look had absolutely stolen her breath from her body and brought tears of shame to her own eyes. She kissed him with all that she could have been, all that she wanted to be and most of all, all that she was worth. Slowly she felt his fingers start to curl around hers as well, until he had just as tight, if not more so, grip on her hand as she had on his own.

 

`I don't care if you hate me for this Inuyasha, I can't just let you suffer all alone.'

 

Finally, he returned the kiss, mouth searing across hers like a hot knife. When she had begun to draw away from him, he panicked, his free hand reaching around and holding her chin firmly, not wanting to break the connection that she had forged between them. His blood began to heat up once again, thickening in this veins the longer he held her to his body, eventually he knew he'd have to let her go, so that he couldn't hurt her anymore but, slowly his thoughts were becoming less than coherent.

 

`I want her with me forever. She can't and won't leave my side unless I tell her to.'

 

Finally he broke the kiss, eyes opening to look into a pair of large startled star colored eyes. Her lips were slightly swollen from the amount of pressure that had been applied by his mouth, turning them a deeper pink than they had already been. He released her chin, one arm still wrapped around her waist as he stared down into her eyes. The blood roaring through his veins and in his ears were a bad sign, it meant that the youkai within was dangerously close to the surface. His voice was deeper than usual, not to mention it sounded like he was speaking through a bunch of rocks.

 

`I need her to get away from me, especially now.'

 

“Kagome, you need to get away from me before I hurt you.”

 

The young woman's eyes never left his as her free hand traveled up and touched his cheek, tracing something on his skin. He knew what she was tracing, it was those damn jagged violet stripes that emerged when he was transforming. His eyes watched her every facial movement, from each blink to every flutter of her lips when she breathed in. Something foreign, an emotion that he didn't recognize began to fill her eyes as her hand slowly stopped tracing his facial stripe, resting gently palm down against his cheek.

 

`What are you Kagome?'

 

“Did you hea…”

 

“Shhh….”

 

Kagome hushed him softly, her hand moving to gently cover his mouth. If he said anything, it could break both of them down again. That had been the first time she had ever seen him in such a state, almost like she had broken his spirit herself. She hated that feeling, it was much like any other human or youkai tried to do, break him down and make him feel as worthless as they called him, and she had succeeded when no other could; just by saying a few words to him.

 

`He's seen too much pain, felt too much betrayal and torment. How can one person keep all of that locked away and not self-destruct?! But, no matter what, he's strong, even though he wants to break.'

 

Her eyes filled up with tears that fell down her cheeks like hot rivers, if he wouldn't cry, wouldn't let himself breakdown to her, then she'd cry for him, for the both of them. She tried to speak but choked, shaking her head as she removed her hand from his mouth and wound it again around his shoulder, head burying into the space between his neck and shoulder as she silently sobbed into his skin, her tears hitting the bare skin and sliding down his back and chest.

 

`I won't let you suffer alone Inuyasha, no one should ever be alone when they have so much tormenting them.'

 

~But do I try to change him

So hard not to blame him

Hold me tight

Hold me tight

Oh cuz I don't know

I don't know what he's after

But he's so beautiful

Such a beautiful disaster

And if I could hold on

Through the tears and the laughter

Would it be beautiful?

Or just a beautiful disaster

I'm longing for love and the logical

But he's only happy hysterical

I'm searchin for some kind of miracle

Waited so long

So long~

 

 

Inuyasha's and dropped from her chin back down to his side in shock, he didn't know why she was crying, didn't she know that he was the one that was supposed to be lamenting over his actions?! He was more than confused, due to the lack of fear or anger, hell, even the lack of disgust and hatred for him that should have been there in her scent was no where to be found. At first, he thought he had detected the first hint of pity, another emotion he hated with a passion but, he had mistaken pity for another; regret. The hanyou boy wracked his brain, trying to figure out exactly what she had to regret, he hoped to whoever the hell watched over him that she didn't regret being stuck here with him. His arm slowly rose again, this time wrapping around her back, her chest being pushed firmer against his own as he held her.

 

`Kagome, why do you always cry whenever I'm around you? Why the hell can't you ever smile at me and mean it?!'

 

“Kagome, stop…I'm not worth that.”

 

Her head nearly crashed into his chin, had he not felt her tense up and move. Brilliant star colored orbs pierced into his amber hued gaze and held it; anger was now there, as was shock and that same damn emotion that he still had to figure out. Her raven hair was in disarray around her body, falling over her back and shoulders while she glowered at him through tear filled sapphire orbs.

 

`He is breaking, I can feel it.'

 

“Don't you dare tell me what you are or aren't worth! Never try and tell me that, do you hear me?! How long have we known each other Inuyasha?! Tell me!”

 

His ears flattened slightly from the girl's rapidly rising vocal volume as he swallowed hard against the sudden lump in his own throat. He couldn't look away, something about her eyes not turning away from his demanded that he not only answer the question but, let her be the one who drops her gaze first.

 

`Kagome…'

 

:My Kagome, my bitch. Claim her!:

 

`No! She deserves better than me, us! Kagome deserves someone who won't end up hurting her!'

 

:…that is true…:

 

The almost forlorn note in the youkai's voice within his mind hurt as well, Inuyasha found out, feeling the sting of his heart as it constricted. At least he and the wilder darker and more dangerous side of him agreed on that much, that they were not the suitable choice for the ningen girl whom they had fallen hard for.

 

“……three years, four months and three weeks and three days.”

 

Kagome watched him as he struggled to answer, his eyes had flashed into scarlet orbs for a moment or two a couple of times before he answered. She knew that the heat radiating off of his body was due to the youkai inside of him acting up, trying to come to the surface and losing the battle to his hanyou and human nature.

 

`He has kept track, almost as much as I have, of how long we've known each other.'

 

“All this time Inuyasha, when no one else would have stayed by your side, when people judged you by appearance and reputation alone, who stayed there with you? During every battle, no matter what the risk or consequence, who was there with you? When you lost yourself with that battle with Gatenmaru and the bandits, who was there with you?”

 

“……….you.”

 

Kagome's eyes drifted down to the small barely visible outline of a slightly jagged looking scar from a puncture wound. She knew that wound, after all, she had given him that and the one on the left side of his lower stomach and on his right shoulder joint as well, not to mention the two located just to the side of his left ribcage.

 

`He's killing himself inside because of what he did to me and yet, I pushed what I've done to him away, trying to make myself forget it.'

 

“Every time I thought you needed me, even when you didn't want or need me there, I was. I've always watched over you, I didn't know why at first but, it didn't take me long to figure it out. That battle with Kaguya was one of the hardest I thought I ever had to face. She used me as bait to torture you, she twisted you wish into something evil and dark, I hated her. I hated what she did to you, I was almost willing to just give her anything she wanted of me, if it would just set you free.”

 

Her arm dropped, hand resting against his chest before tracing the scar above his heart with one finger lightly, watching as the hair on his body stand on end from her caress.

 

`……and he blames it all on himself…'

 

“I remember this battle, the one with Menomaru. That was all my fault… I hurt you so badly, no, I almost killed you. And yet, you still wanted me back. You told me you need me with you, at your side. Has that changed Inuyasha?”

 

Amber eyes flashed turquoise for a split second as his grip on her tightened, he had made her question her own worth, all because he was a damn idiot. He bent his head, forehead resting against her own as he looked into the eyes of the woman he wanted but didn't dare to hope to ever be worthy of.

 

`It'll never change Kagome, I'll always need you at my side.'

 

“No.”

 

He watched as the tears slid down her cheeks at a rapid pace and fell of her chin, striking his suddenly all too restraining hakama and darkening the crimson fabric. His head moved, tongue reaching out and drinking her tears with soft strokes at the corner of her eyes. A low growl rumbled in his chest as he tasted the texture of her skin. Inuyasha knew what he wanted and knew that if he asked, she would more than likely comply.

 

“It didn't change.”

 

Kagome's eyes had closed when she had first felt the gentle sensation of his tongue against her cheek. Now they opened again at the soft admission. Her hand shakily touched his cheek, the other still locked in a death hold with Inuyasha's own as she smoothed away a long strand of the silky silver hair from his face.

 

“Then why are you pushing me away from you?”

 

Inuyasha's ears twitched at the whispered inquiry, eyes darkening as they filled with blood and began to change, his skin was on fire and he was helpless to do anything to stop it. He'd rather die than force Kagome against her will and he would sure as fuck kill himself before laying one murderous claw on her. His urges be damned, he would not harm his Kagome again.

 

“You'll get hurt, or worse if you stay at my side. I can't even control myself, how am I supposed to keep you safe then?”

 

Her hand rested gently against his throat and slid down to the beads around his neck, her fingers gripped the rosary tightly, giving them an experimental tug. Three years he had had to deal with many painful face plants into the ground, some of it soft but most of it well packed, hell, a few of the times it had even been concrete in her own time. Eyes narrowing in concentration, Kagome felt a surge of her untapped power flow into her fingertips as she jerked back violently, a sense of déjà vu overcoming her as she watched the beads glow a brilliant neon violet color before shattering to the ground, rolling every which way as they dropped from his neck.

 

`He doesn't need these anymore.'

 

“You've always kept me safe, why should I doubt you now?”

 

~He's soft to the touch

But frayed at the end he breaks

He's never enough

And still he's more than I can take

Oh and I don't know

I don't know what he's after

But he's so beautiful

Such a beautiful disaster

And if I could hold on

Through the tears and the laughter

Would it be beautiful?

Or just a beautiful disaster~

 

Inuyasha's eyes widened, the scarlet fading again back to white and amber as he watched numbly while the beads glowed and fell around them. When he looked to the woman in his lap, he found her smiling sadly at him, as she always had. Was it even in her to smile fully for him? Without any sadness inside of it? He wondered to himself as he brushed a strand of hair away from her face, hand cupping her cheek as he looked down at their hands still intertwined with each other before his eyes met hers.

 

`This is approaching disaster, she needs to put my haori on and now.'

 

“Put something on Kagome.”

 

Sango had spoken with her, along with Kaede-baa-chan and her own mother, much to her own embarrassment as she raised her eyes to meet his own. A lump was still stuck in her throat as she slowly shook her head. Even if he didn't return her feelings, even if he rejected her heart, she still wanted to give him everything she had and was. He deserved it and had for a very long time now according to the young woman.

 

`I'm finally ready, even if he doesn't care for me in return.'

 

“No.”

 

Inuyasha felt that one word increase the temperature in his body faster than any battle or whatnot he had ever experienced. That one fucking simple word had the power to either calm him or, at the moment, send his mind and body into hormonal overdrive. He swallowed thickly as Kagome took the hand against her cheek and slipped it down to just below her left breast, pressing his hand there as she spoke quietly to him.

 

“I know you can feel this Inuyasha, that beating inside of me, it's only for you.”

 

Both of their breaths became shaky, Inuyasha's for another reason entirely as Kagome spoke again, finishing and pretty much signing off her fate to him.

 

`Kagome, are you saying……'

 

`I'm not going to freak out and runaway now.'

 

“I'm ready, Inuyasha.”

 

In a silent explosion, Kagome felt the overwhelming power of his youki hit her full force, her chest became heavy as she forced her eyes open against the invisible pressure holding her down. It was like looking through a golden fog, she realized, as she made out the form of Inuyasha kneeling beside her. Her own power kicked in, wanting to protect her but at the same time, not wanting to hurt Inuyasha. Silver lines began to infiltrate the golden cloud, the twin auras overlapping and twisting together as Kagome felt Inuyasha's hand on her skin, like a branding iron as he lowered his face down to hers, eyes fighting between gold and turquoise and white and crimson. His voice was oddly far away as he spoke, she watched in fascination as his mouth moved.

 

`What's happening?!'

 

`She has to be sure about this.'

 

“Kagome, you can't go back if we continue any further with this, if you have any doubts, any at all, tell me to stop.”

 

Her own voice sounded as if she were shouting down through a long tunnel to the other side. Why did everything seem like it was running in slow motion, she wondered silently.

 

“Do you doubt me?”

 

With a speed that felt like she was going to get whiplash, the two auras above her merged into one, surrounding her body and Inuyasha's before vanishing from her sight, although she could still feel it in the air around her. She looked up into the darkest pair of amber eyes she had ever seen on the hanyou. He seemed to sense what she was waiting for as he leaned down and claimed her mouth once more with his own, fangs scraping lightly over her lips in a demand for her to open her mouth for him. Kagome shivered to herself as she complied, feeling his tongue trace every part of her mouth he could reach before her eyes widened at the sensation of his tongue gliding over her own, engaging it into a battle for dominance. Finally he pulled slightly away, breath coming in a harsh pant as he looked at her.

 

“Kagome, last chance.”

 

She kissed him softly, not like he had kissed her, although she had enjoyed that.

 

“I won't change my mind.”

 

His mouth crashed over hers again before sliding down, nipping her chin and neck, leaving small welts that he soothed with his tongue before he reached her chest. As his mouth claimed one mound, torturing the erect nipple with his fangs and tongue, his free hand mimicked the motion on the second, not wanting to leave one feeling left out. Kagome let out a soft mewl as she felt warmth pooling between her legs, something was pulsing in time with the silent auras and it was driving her insane. It was a new kind of pain, one that she wished she understood better as she slid her hand down to his waist, fingers fumbling at his hakama's tie.

 

`Why does this hurt so?!'

 

((A/N: {stares} `cause your horny as hell, THAT'S why!))

 

~He's beautiful

He's such a beautiful disaster

He's beautiful…oh he's so beautiful…~

 

Inuyasha growled deeply in his throat, this wasn't going as well as he wanted it to, the wench seemed to want something faster than he wanted to give it to her. So be it then, he thought smirking to himself. He'd be gentle with her, although, the thought of causing her pain wasn't thrilling. The thought of marking her and making her his was beyond thrilling.

 

`You're mine now Kagome.'

 

His voice was hoarse and rough as he spoke to her, gently removing his hand from hers and using both of them to gently turn her on to her stomach, hands now on her hips as he gently pulled up, waiting for her to catch on.

 

`I hope to fuck that she ain't that innocent.'

 

For a moment, Kagome felt a wave of confusion rush over her body and mind before something inside of her clicked into place. A burst of embarrassment and annoyance flooded through her as she quickly bent her knees to support herself. She felt him laughing at her as he leaned over and nipped at the outer shell of her ear, tracing it with his tongue. The shredding of cloth alerted her to the next and final step that he would be taking. Something nudged at her core, throbbing like a hot stone against her as she felt him start to enter.

 

` Kagome you baka! Of course he was going to do it doggie style, he is an inu hanyou! He's huge, and I don't even see him!'

 

His voice was ragged with effort as he growled into her ear, hands holding her waist tightly as he drew back.

 

`This'll hurt a little…'

 

“This may hurt a little.”

 

Kagome braced herself and bit back a small whimper at the slight tearing she felt when he drove into her. Inuyasha's eyes closed, biting back a yell by clamping his mouth over her shoulder as the slight tearing informed him of her untouched state and filled him with pride. She was officially his now, no ifs, ands, or fucking buts about it. Kagome swallowed hard and tried to turn to look at him, only, moving sent an almost violent sensation of pleasure shooting down her body, making her clit throb even harder. She gasped and felt her arms start to give out. Kagome braced herself on to her elbows and arched her waist up, gasping a little as the same sensation coursed through her again. Inuyasha growled darkly deep within his throat as he felt her muscles moving and gripping him tightly.

 

`She's ready.'

 

“The pain's over.”

 

“..no it's not…”

 

Kagome whimpered when he pulled out and drove into her again, her back arching back as a flush spread through her body, veins expanding with the increasing flow of blood racing through her veins. The growls that seemed to penetrate through her foggy mind were oddly comforting, somehow, on a deeper level, she knew he was pleased with her as she let her weight balance on her elbows, allowing him further inside of her. A snarl of appreciation met her ears as he picked up the pace, one hand sliding around her hip and thigh, coming above the spot they were joined at and massaged the small bundle of nerves ruthlessly, fingers slickened by sweat and other bodily fluids as they worked on her, moving in a clockwise type circle as he felt her muscles clenching around him. She was close; he could smell her on the verge of collapsing under the spiral that was slowly working its way down his own body.

 

`This hurts, but it's a different kind of pain…'

 

“Inu…ya...yasha.”

 

His fangs bit into the curve of her shoulder before he pulled her hard against him, the sounds of flesh slapping together growing louder alongside the deepening growl that was quickly turning into a feral sounding snarl. The way she arched against him, hips moving in rhythm with his thrusts, skin flushing into a slightly rosy hue while that maddening scent of hers overwhelmed every little part of his being, this was what he had wanted, desired, craved for such a long time. His free hand reached over and forced her head up and to the side so that he could see her face looking at him over her shoulder. Those eyes of hers, crystallized stars that were filled with such emotion that it could make a stone melt, looked directly into his, he now knew that emotion, remembered seeing it in her eyes when he had started to clear his vision from the desire to become a full youkai. This was love, not lust, not tenderness or any other not-quite-loving expression; this was honest to fucking universal soul binding love. Her lips parted to try and speak his name again, only to be crushed against his mouth, fangs nipping at her tongue and lips even as he explored her mouth, every sense in him searing this moment into his memories forever, her scent, touch, every fucking thing he could imagine about the moment he was permanently engraving into his mind for the rest of his prolonged life. Inuyasha released her swollen mouth from his, hand removing itself from her chin, grabbing and lacing his fingers through her own hand as he growled deeply into her ear.

 

“Now, give me all of you, now!”

 

Her back molded into his chest as her head was thrown back, Inuyasha thrust into her, feeling her muscles clench and ripple around him as the final massage from his fingers and the friction created from his maneuvering sent her over the edge. Kagome's mouth was open into a silent cry as her cheeks burned scarlet while her body convulsed with her orgasm. Feeling the tightening in his own body, Inuyasha removed his fingers from her clit and held her around her waist against him, thrusting with near mindless abandon into her as his blood boiled into a white hot feeling that had his body jerking into hers furiously. A snarl that echoed in the muffled snow carpeted outside shook the snow off of tree branches and the roof of the hut as Inuyasha snarled out his own release, each slowing thrust filling her with a burst of liquid heat as he emptied his seed into her womb. His fangs had found the area where her neck slightly thickened out just above where it met the shoulder, digging deeply into the flesh and tasting the blood that filled his mouth as he marked her as his bitch. They remained that way for what seemed like a moment frozen in time forever before Kagome's body began to fall forward against Inuyasha's arm. His mouth left her shoulder, the mark glowing a deep gold for a moment before fading. He felt a small smile twitch his lips as he watched a thick tendril of her hair began to pale to his own silvery-white color, her ears had slightly pointed as well, not enough to be noticeable, unless one was this close to her, he thought smirking to himself.

 

`So what they say about youkai mating is true, when a pair mates, the take away a little of their partners inside themselves.'

 

He couldn't wait to see what else she had taken from their mating, although, he could wait to see what mating her had done to himself, hopefully it wouldn't make him calmer, that wouldn't be any fun whatsoever, especially if he wound up acting like that bug up his ass half brother. His tongue lazily wound a pathway up to her ear and traced the shape of the slightly changed shell. A low rumble vibrated against her back as he removed himself carefully from her, smirking as he heard the soft whimper of protest from Kagome. Inuyasha turned her around in his arms; her head resting heavily against his chest, her ear right above his heart as he gently cushioned her body on top of his own while he laid himself against the ground near the fire. His wandering hand snagged the edges of what he thought was his haori and dragged it to them, noticing it was a thick blanket big enough for the both of them, plus some.

 

`Where the…ah fuck it. Who the hell cares now?'

 

His haori was right by his other hand as he moved it, grabbing the slightly coarse fabric and wadding it up behind his head to use as a makeshift pillow before throwing the blanket over the both of them. He felt her scent slowly change, very subtly into her own beautiful scent but, it was now tinged with his own scent, marking her in more ways than one as his and his alone. His lips pressed against the top of her head as he wrapped his arms around her once again.

 

`She needs to rest, even though I'm up for round two.'

 

“Don't force yourself to stay awake now Kagome, I'll allow you to sleep now.”

 

Something that was more than likely an unfavorable remark about his generous nature was mumbled by the girl as she slowly began to fall asleep, body and soul satiated for the moment. Soon he found himself drifting off, the warmth of her body and their still entwined auras a deep source of comfort as he let himself finally relax and fall asleep.

 

`She's not leaving me ever again.'

 

Unknown to the hanyou boy, a pair of blue-grey eyes, now flecked with small glimmers of amber, opened and stared at his sleeping face, a soft loving smile crossing her lips as she watched his chest rise and fall, despite her weight on top of it. Kagome leaned up and kissed his lips, holding hers on his for a long moment before moving the blankets up to her chin and cuddling closer to the man who she hadn't tamed, but gentled. Her vision slowly blurred as a lone tear fell down her face and traced the outline of her cheek and chin before spotting the blanket as the girl thought one last thought, directing it out towards the cold night air. Her eyes had fallen on a small vase with a single flower occupying the space.

 

`He's so beautiful…arigatou Kikyou, you set this hut up for us, didn't you? That's your flower…'

 

The only response was silence before a small gust of wind gently rattled the hut and quieted, leaving a very satisfied couple to their well deserved privacy and rest.

 

Owari….

 

{heaves a huge sigh of contentment and relief.} Well, it's about damn time I finished this stupid thing!!! {growls and smacks the comp, then herself} It took over two months to get this thing out and I finally did it. Another one shot is on it's way, it's a threesome yuri with Kagome/Kikyou/Kagura, I know, oddest damn tripling but, blame it on roleplaying with friend k? Always Watching is being a pain in my ass, all of you who are so patiently and eagerly awaiting the true 18th chapter must please continue to hang in there, I promise to work on it some more, I just have a few more bugs to work out in my mind before I can sit down and actually write the damn thing. Thanks again for being so patient and so dedicated, it makes this hanyou happy! Oh, and if you'd like to see a pic I've drawn for this one-shot, those of you on ff.net will need to go to my profile for the link. Otherwise, here it is: http://www.deviantart.com/view/14222412/

 

Thank you again everyone! Please review lots for me, and get your friends to read this as well!!!!!! Oh, kudos to scheharzade (baad spelling of the name, gomen!!!) for giving me the aura idea, that is credited to her fics!