InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Beautiful Shorties ❯ Fair ( Chapter 2 )

It wasn't fair.

 

How could she? How dare he?

 

It was almost painful the anger that welled inside of me when I saw them together, the way he looked at her, the way he held her in his arms, the way the rest of the world seemed to fall away when he kissed her...

 

It sickened me to my very core the way he seemed not to notice my pain, the way he continued to stay friends with me and tried to stay cool.

 

And yet I can't blame anyone but myself.

 

It's my fault they're together now, my fault I couldn't tell him how I felt sooner, my fault I kept pushing and pushing and pushing until he pulled away all together. Sure we had talked about a relationship, and during the summer, though we were on separate sides of the country, we developed a strong friendship that turned into flirtatious phone calls and late night whispers.

 

I don't know what I expected to stay the same or to change but it certainly wasn't school. The first couple of week's things continued as smoothly as the end of the previous year had. Slowly but surely though our end of the school day hugs and flirting dwindled to nothing, to just a dismissed memory. Who had time for relationships anyway? I was so busy with sports and school work I hardly had time for a social life let alone keeping someone happy.

 

But I should have handled things differently. He was someone I could turn to, a good friend, a back up when I needed him and I placed him in a spot reserved for what made me feel good when I needed to feel special.

 

Then she came along.

 

At our first home football game of the season I was more concerned with another boy I had a crush on that was suddenly talking to my best friend than anything he was doing. It wasn't until Monday when I realized I hadn't seen him at the game he told me he was dating her.

 

To say I was shocked was an understatement. I didn't even know they knew each other let alone that they knew each other enough to date. But I let it go. I was happy for him; sort of. At least he had wasted no time in saying yes to her.

 

And yet in the back of my mind was a nagging half angry, half jealous thought: Why would he wait so long to ask me out before she got to him? I knew he liked me and if he had asked I would have definitely said yes. So then what was the problem? When I confronted him on why he hadn't told me sooner that they were dating he replied that he didn't think I'd care. DIDN'T THINK I'D CARE? WAS HE KIDDING ME? I tried to play it off as a “We're friends so I thought you would have told me,” thing while inside I bubbled with anger. My upset didn't last long however and I let it go. Why were boys so utterly complicated anyway?

 

I pushed the thought of the two of them dating to the back of my mind. Surely they wouldn't last that long...would they?

 

I was in for a rude awakening. The very next football game the two of them were holding hands, she was sitting on his lap and the two were laughing, having a great time. He was so affectionate, so caring I couldn't tear my eyes away from the, the whole game. The hurt ran deeper than ever before along with the underlying jealousy and guilt. I shouldn't have been mad, she was my friend, a good friend who had no idea the feelings I had for him.

 

But still I couldn't let it go. Thoughts of him flittered through my mind like unwanted flying cockroaches and wouldn't leave me alone.

And yet I hid my feelings from him and him alone and while everyone else scorned the two's relationship I alone tried to remain the loyal friend to both of them that I would always be. I wonder now whether things would be different if I had told him how I felt but I push that thought away as quickly as it comes. It wouldn't matter, he'd still have her and she's still lucky enough to have him.

 

It's not fair.