InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Because you asked me to ❯ Lessons ( Chapter 11 )

 

 

“Sesshoumaru,” the blind woman said in exasperation as she sat with him in one of the training dojo inside his castle.

 

She had wanted to learn to protect herself and had been found by the taiyoukai standing in this room nearly an hour before as she tested the weight of quarterstaff in her hands. He had stood back, leaning against the wall near the closed door and had watched in interest as she first tested her strength, holding the long and somewhat heavy wooden staff in both hands, then in one and the other. He had watched as she turned both her wrists as she held the staff singularly in either hand, her left wrist too weak to turn the staff as far as her right had been able to.

 

After a few moments he had come up silently behind her, his body molding to hers as his single hand joined hers on the staff. He had spoken softly to her, instructing her how to hold the fighting staff properly. It had taken her only moments to memorize and correct herself, learning the new hold and how to balance it between her hands without choking it in her hands.

 

“Say it with me,” he said as he sat on the floor behind her, his legs on either side of her own as she sat with her back against his chest.

 

“This is stupid,” she said and heard him sigh.

 

“It is not. Now say it with me…I am worthy.”

 

“You are worthy,” she repeated a tiny smile gracing her lips as she tried not to laugh and was met with a growl. “Ok, ok,” she giggled. “I am worthy.”

 

“Good,” he approved.

 

“Now the question is though, what am I worthy of?”

 

“You intend to make this difficult don't you?” he asked her with a soft irritated growl though he was secretly becoming more and more amused. She was freer with herself and with him then she had been in the past two weeks.

 

“No, I'm not making anything difficult. You're the one forcing me to say these things, and if I'm going to say them, I should at least know for what reason,” she spoke logically. “Oh no, don't you dare,” she said as she felt his hand trail down her side to that ever so sensitive spot.

 

She burst out into sudden giggles as Sesshoumaru attacked her side with his hand and tickled her, a move that had never failed to brighten her mood or quiet her when she began to make him lose his stoicism. She shrieked and fell back as she tried to move away, the fall making her lie face up over his legs and the position pushing her breasts out as it threw her head back and presented her neck to him.

 

The woman scrambled to her hands and knees and skittered away as she laughed at him, a clear challenge in his eyes. She laughed even harder when she felt herself tackled to the floor and rolled onto her back as he draped himself over top of her and tickled her until she was breathless from her giggles and laughter. She breathed a sigh of relief, giggles still coloring her voice as she lay back on the wooden floor lined with stiff mats that held enough padding to keep a person from getting seriously hurt by falls or throws.

 

A soft smile shone in Sesshoumaru's normally cold golden eyes. Once he had assured her that she had done a good thing and he was in fact proud of her rather than angry with her she had become freer again, had smiled again, and had talked with him again without fear. It had taken a week for Rin to heal and in that time he had been able to get the woman to tell him her thoughts, especially those that constantly troubled and tormented her.

 

The second day after he had stopped her at the entrance to the woods, he had asked her what proof she had to the claims of passing travelers that her appearance was displeasing.

 

 

“They said I was ugly,” she answered as she sat with him high in the apple blossom tree.

 

“And you think they would not lie to you?” the taiyoukai questioned her evenly.

 

“What reason would they have to do that?” she asked confused.

 

“Any reason they wanted,” he said as he held her in his arm and tail as he leaned back against the trunk of the tree, the woman leaning against his chest. “You lived in the wild, you have no sight, to them you were nothing. Tell me though. When you touch your face, when you see yourself the way you see others, what do you see?”

 

The woman slowly, hesitantly ran her hands over her face as she felt out the contours, curves and lines of her own face, something she had never truly done before. This was new to her; she had always relied on the voices of others to tell her how she looked before. To her amazement, she found no moles, no overt scars, no flat face or buck teeth or anything else that could be considered ugly. In fact, her skin felt flawless, and her face though thin, felt much like Sesshoumaru's in its delicate boning.

 

She had high, softly padded and gently rounded cheekbones that were neither pointed nor hidden beneath layers of fat or flesh. The delicate cheekbones, she found, curved gently inwardly to where her eyes sat, the fringe of lashes she could feel felt thick and long, her eyes were neither large and bulbous nor small and barely there, they felt just right, like Sesshoumaru's and Kari's had. Her forehead was not high nor flat, but gently barely given a soft round that most held and as she made her way down the sides of her face and to her jaw, she felt that her face was not large nor square, but soft and small and rounded though not in a large circle. Had she known the shape or been able to see how her hair framed her face she would've seen the soft heart shape it made.

 

Her jaw, she found was softly rounded, though given a soft outlining. Her chin was small, delicate, not pointed or cleft but gently, smoothly rounded and led smoothly to her lips that were full but not overly so. Her mouth didn't feel small or large to her but a seemed to sit a perfect point in between. Her nose was small and slightly pointed and sloped downward in soft gentle line but didn't curve upward or hook downward but simply came to a gently curve as it ended. Her ears were not small nor were they large. The rounded smoothly, softly, and sat back without looking pinned to her head or pushed out.

 

“I - I don't feel ugly,” she said hesitantly and almost seemed afraid of the new discovery.

 

“That is because you are not. But I could not tell you this and have you believe it had you not discovered the truth for yourself first,” he said to her simply before catching her hands as they moved to explore her body.

 

“Is my body displeasing?” she asked afraid that it was.

 

“No,” he said and kissed her head. “But it would not be wise nor proper for you to discover that in the company of a male.”

 

“But you'll keep me safe,” she said, the sun in her world had begun to rise and set with him, with his voice, his gently soothing touches and purrs and kisses, the kindness he showed her.

 

“But I am also male,” he said stoically to her.

 

“Why does it matter? You're my friend aren't you?” she asked her face turned up to him as one hand slipped out of his grip to run along his face, she loved touching his smooth skin.

 

“You would put such trust in this Sesshoumaru?” he asked as her hand ran over the side of his neck and down to trace the delicate line and dip of his collar bone.

 

“Why shouldn't I?” she asked as she rested her head against his armless shoulder and listened to the steady beat of his heart as her fingers played over his skin.

 

“I am male,” he said and felt the arm trapped against his side slip free and wrap around his back to toy in the ends of his hair as her other roving hand continued its feather light touches over his neck and collar bone.

 

“You haven't hurt me yet and I don't think you will. If you wanted to hurt me than you already would have. Besides, Rin said I could trust you, and what better judge of character is there than a child?”

 

“You would seek the advice of one so young that also gives flowers to everyone she meets?” he asked and gave a slight grunt when she slapped his chest.

 

“You shouldn't talk about your daughter like that, she adores you! Say you're sorry,” she commanded as she slapped his unarmored chest again.

 

“You would command this Sesshoumaru?” he asked as he looked down at her, secretly amused at the fire that was beginning to ignite within her and shine out through her words, actions and sightless eyes.

 

“When you're being silly yes.”

 

“Silly?” he asked appalled that she would call him such.

 

“Yes silly,” she said with a decisive nod of her head. “Now, say you're sorry.”

 

“She is not even here,” he argued weakly though his voice was disbelieving as he argued with her.

 

“That doesn't matter! She's your little girl isn't she?”

 

The question gave him pause, his mouth that had opened in retort, closing slowly as he thought about what she had asked him. He smiled softly as the answer came to him, yes, Rin was his little girl. And this woman in his embrace, this woman was his as well.

 

 

“Now, tell me what is your saying for today?” he asked her unable to keep the amusement out of his voice.

 

“I am worthy,” she said and then he watched as she bit her lip and smiled mischievously. “Of candy,” she added on shrieking again in laughter when he resumed tickling her.

 

“Candy?” he asked her joining her in her laughter. “What makes you think I'll give you any candy? The last thing you need is that sugar.”

 

“The cook gives it to Rin and I,” she said proudly through her giggles. “You should try some. It would do you good to be…what is that word…ah yes - hyper.”

 

“You think I should be hyper?” he asked as he rolled off her and onto his back on the floor beside her and wrapped his arm around her as she rolled onto her side and pillowed her head on his chest.

 

“Yes, I think you should be. You might have more fun,” she said as she draped her arm over his stomach.

 

“And just what makes you think that I don't have fun?” he asked as his fingers combed through her wavy golden brown hair that looked like waves of dark honey colored silk.

 

“You rarely show emotion in your voice and I bet it's the same with your face. I've only heard you laugh twice, and although you've often relaxed while holding me, I don't think that you're normally so relaxed.”

 

In just a few short simple words, she had effectively called him a stick in the mud.

 

“There's nothing wrong with showing emotion,” she said and propped her chin on the back of her hand that's palm rested on his chest as she turned her face to him. “Remember, you told me that.”

 

Yes, he supposed he had. But he had not intended for the words to be thrown back at him, to be used in reference to himself.

 

“Did you ever show emotion or have you always been like this?” she asked softly, her voice curious and at the same time sympathetic to what she thought must be a lost little boy inside of him wanting to come out, to be seen.

 

He sighed, the look upon her face stating clearly that he would not be able to get away with not answering her question.

 

“There was once a time that I showed emotion as freely as you and Rin do,” he said his voice low.

 

“What happened to make you stop?” she asked softly.

 

 

 

“But why do you have to go away?” a young Sesshoumaru asked Izayoi as she held his baby brother in her arms.

 

“Your father is dead Sessh,” the human woman said as she hugged him close to her and was hugged in return by the young youkai. “He told me that if he were to die that I must leave here, otherwise you would be in danger because I was here.”

 

“But I'll protect you!” he said to her as he cried against her shoulder as he stood just a head shorter than her.

 

“Oh sweetheart I know you'd try to, but…but I couldn't bear the thought of you being hurt because of me and your brother.”

 

“Please mamma,” he said to her having never known his own she had become a mother to him. “Please just stay tonight. You can leave in the morning. Please stay tonight,” he begged her.

 

“Alright,” she relented as Inuyasha woke up in her arms and began crying until his brother took him in his arms and soothed the pup.

 

“Anniki,” little Inuyasha said and sucked on his thumb.

 

“I'm here little brother,” Sesshoumaru said as he had Izayoi walked back to his father's chambers and laid down in the large bed with her, curled against her side, his head pillowed on her chest as he held his tiny brother in his arms and they closed their eyes to sleep.

 

It had been two weeks later that he had received word of the woman's brutal death by the village that was supposed to protect her. It had been said that his brother had been killed as well. He had slipped away quietly into his father's chamber and one of her old kimonos to his face as well as one of brother's sleeping suits from his early newborn days and sobbed into them. That had been the last time he had ever shown emotion. Nearly fifteen years later he had received word of an inuhanyou that had fallen in love with a human miko.

 

He had traveled for two days straight without food or sleep to see if what he hoped was true. It was, the hanyou smelled just like his brother, Inuyasha was alive! But again his heart ached and turned to ice when he learned that his brother hated him, truly hated him, and he didn't know why. Days later, he traveled to the village of Izayoi and learned that Inuyasha hadn't died, but had been poisoned against him by his mother's family. The humans had told him repeatedly that Sesshoumaru was the one to kill his mother for a week after her death before throwing the child out into the cold.

 

 

No one knew just what the taiyoukai would be willing to give up to have his brother back, but too much had happened now for his brother to ever trust him as he had done as a tiny pup. The hanyou seemed to have no memories of his past at the castle, held no memories of his father, nor any memories of Sesshoumaru before the youkai had began attacking Inuyasha only to spar with the hanyou to teach him to fight. After he claimed his father's sword though, all their sparing sessions turned into something far more vicious.

 

No one knew just how much time Sesshoumaru actually spent in his brother's chambers that had been meant for the hanyou once he grew old enough for a room on his own. How many times had Sesshoumaru sat in that room and looked at the paintings of his infant brother, of Izayoi and his father, of him holding his brother in his arms and smiling happily? The pain was so deep that he often times felt he would be ripped apart by the painful emotions and memories, but if he kept them all under tight lock and key then maybe, just maybe he could keep them from tearing him apart and leaving him broken.

 

“I lost someone very close to me,” he said in a choked voice after long moments of silence.

 

“Who?” she asked softly in worry as she brushed her fingers against his cheek and forehead.

 

“My…father, my…mother, my…brother,” admitting to the loss of his family was beginning to choke his throat and constrict his chest as if there were some great python wrapping around him intent on eating him.

 

“Oh Sesshoumaru,” she said sadly and wrapped her arms around his shoulder as she hugged him to her. “I'm so sorry.”

 

He felt her tears as she cried for him and the feel of her tears, the scent of the salt water she produced it was all too much. He pushed her away from him and stood up as he fought for control, backing away as the woman stood and walked to where she could feel him to be. He was beginning to pant with the effort of keeping his emotions in check. How dare she do this to him! How dare she make him think about these things again! How dare…how dare he lose so much!

 

A choked, strangled harsh whimper forced its way out of his throat as he fell to his knees with a painful thud and found himself wrapped up in the woman's arms just like Izayoi had done so many times in the past. His body shook as he fought hard not to cry. He would not cry! He was stronger than this, he was a taiyoukai! A very powerful and feared taiyoukai that was feared by all…including the brother he had thought he'd lost so long ago.

 

Harsh, painful, strangled sobs came from his throat, burned his chest, made his eyes feel like his own poison was melting them as he cried into her chest as she held him and hugged his head and chest to her pillowing mounds as she tried to offer him whatever comfort she could. Sesshoumaru stabbed his claws into the wooden floor as he felt his poison filling them, it always had a tendency to do that when he was experiencing emotion to strong for him to handle.

 

Neither one noticed the door open nor Kenji slip inside quietly. The black inu stood there his face sad as he watched Sesshoumaru sob harshly in what he thought was a long overdue expression of emotions held too tightly in control. He used his youki to keep the room shielded from any who would pry or make fun. He had known Sesshoumaru from the days his mother had carried him in her womb. The emotionless youkai was not the true Sesshoumaru. It seemed as he healed this blind woman, so too she was beginning to heal him.

 

Moments later as he watched the woman comfort the proud taiyoukai, lost in his grief, he heard Sesshoumaru begin to whimper harsh choked words.

 

“I want them back,” he sobbed into her chest unable to control his emotions or his words any longer. “I want him back. I want my otoutou back!” he cried for his little brother.

 

The woman that stood on her knees, moved down to sit on her feet as she carefully moved Sesshoumaru to lie on the floor with his head in her lap as he clutched her waist desperately as he cried and she ran her finger through his long hair. There was nothing she could say and she knew that. She had never truly experienced his kind of loss before and could not offer him any words of understanding or any assurances that it would get better, for if it hadn't by now; would it ever truly get better?

 

It was nearly two hours later that Sesshoumaru had painfully cried himself to sleep and Kenji left quietly, gathering Kari and instructing the servants to be absent from the lord's chambers and all halls leading to it from the dojo. He didn't explain to them why and refused to when asked. Returning to the dojo, he carefully lifted the exhausted and sleeping youkai from the woman's arms as Kari helped her to stand and guided her down the hall to Sesshoumaru's room as Kenji led the way.

 

Moments later, Kenji laid Sesshoumaru to rest in his bed, tucking the covers around him and instructing Kari to stay with them as he gathered the sleeping Rin from her chambers and brought her to her father's room. He laid the sleeping child between her adoptive father and the blind woman in the bed before covering them all with the silk and fur blankets and tucking them in for the night. He told Kari that he would be staying and guarding them tonight as they rested but that she should go to her own chambers. He didn't want Sesshoumaru any more embarrassed or upset than he would already be from his less than graceful emotional explosion. He had known him since he was in diapers; Sesshoumaru would be comforted knowing that it was he who found him and not anyone else.

 

 

It seemed that both Sesshoumaru and the woman had learned lessons today. Lessons about life, lessons about family, lessons of the heart. Though Sesshoumaru's lesson seemed far more painful, but perhaps he would be the better for having learned it. No matter how tightly you reigned in your emotions, that didn't stop memories from hurting. The woman had already proven that she would be good for him, but today, today she had proven that she would stand beside him no matter what.