InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Bed Ridden ❯ Kiss and Tell ( Chapter 5 )

General Info: Round Robin #1 for Monk_and_Miko

Title: Bed Ridden

Summary: He's lived through a cursed hand, demon, and a hanyou with an attitude-but can our sixteenth century Houshi live through the stimulation of the twentieth century? (MK)

Rating: PG-13

Chapter Author: Ms. Videl Son

Chapter Summary: Kagome's friends muse on how Kagome could have contracted mono…

Disclaimer: *sticks a little flag in the top of Inuyasha's head* I claim him in the name of Mary!! (Which happens to be my name, btw)

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Chapter 5: Kiss and Tell

"AIIIIIIIIIIIIIIYAAAAAAAAH!!!!"

Thump.

Stomp, stomp, stomp...

SLAM!

Still seated around the dining table, the Higurashi family blinked curiously at the ceiling, chopsticks poised halfway to their open mouths.

"What was that all about?" Souta wondered aloud.

His mother and grandfather shrugged.

-*-

Kagome ravenously attacked her triple-decker, three-cheese bacon cheeseburger, savoring the delightful taste of normal adolescence. So THIS was what it was like...

Today, for the first day in about six months, she was able to freely pay homage to the great gods of fast food-the CEO's of WacDonald's Inc. From their delectable meat substitutes (smothered in special sauce and extra pickles) to their lightly golden fries (that only dripped a little), the fast food chain was certainly a wonderful amenity that was seriously lacking in the feudal era.

Kagome's friends watched in horrified fascination at the sounds of absolute pleasure Kagome was making as she alternated between scarfing her burger to shoving in a couple of fries to eventually taking a sip of her (ironically) diet soda, lest she somehow loose the ability to breathe for too long.

Ayumi, the decidedly "sweet" member of the group, ventured conversation while her friend paused to take a breath. "So...," she smiled. "I guess you're over your mono?"

Kagome snorted. The painful sting of carbonated beverage assaulted her nasal passages and she gagged on her half-chewed piece of so-called beef and week old bread.

"M-mono?" she coughed, clearing all obstructions from her windpipe with a little help from Eri, who gave her a few good whacks to dislodge any half swallowed food.

"Yeah." Ayumi replied, watching Kagome warily in case she choked again. "We called your house a couple weeks ago and your grandfather told us. Are you alright?"

Kagome cleared her throat. "I'm fine."

"You know," Yuka interjected. "I knew a girl once who had a friend who's boyfriend's cousin caught mono from the girl he was secretly seeing behind his girlfriends back."

The other three girls blinked.

Yuka cleared her throat sheepishly.

"Well, that's what I heard anyway."

Blink.

"Right." she continued, giving another stabilizing cough. "Anyway, he was out of school off and on for about two months."

Light of recognition lit in Eri's eyes. "Oooh! I know who you're talking about now! It's that guy who was dating Kisa before she found out he was cheating on her with her cousin, but then found out that it wasn't her cousin after all but her best friend!"

"Yeah, that's the one."

"I heard his thingie fell off."

"That's not what Ritsuko says..."

"You're kidding!"

"Nope. That's what she said."

"How does she know?"

"...do we really have to say it, Aya?"

"GUYS!" Kagome interjected, waving her hands around frantically to end the thread of conversation before she found out about any more. As much as she strived for normalcy, she wasn't sure she wanted it at that cost.

Her friends turned their attention to her and blinked.

Kagome sweat dropped.

"So..." Yuka grinned slyly. "Where did you catch the mono?" she waggled her eyebrows suggestively.

Eri jumped in. "I hear that Hojo-kun's been out sick a lot lately. Have you finally had your date with him?"

Kagome flushed to the roots of her hair. "N-no!"

"She has a boyfriend already, remember?" Ayumi offered helpfully.

"That's right!"

"Who is it?"

"Well, I haven't seen Eizo-kun around lately."

"He moved."

"Really?"

"Yeah, his dad got transferred to Kyoto."

"Too bad...he was cute."

"Well, who else haven't we seen lately?"

"Well, there's always Goro-kun. Ooh! What if it's Hiro-kun?!"

"No way! If it's anybody, it'll be Jiro-kun."

"Jiro-kun? Riiiiiiight..."

"HEY!" Kagome interrupted, a little too loudly. The customers squashed into the cheap plastic seats all around them and even the people behind the counter paused in their activities to stare at the wild school girl who was, apparently, prone to outbursts.

Kagome flushed again and slowly took her seat, sinking low into the booth so that even her friends couldn't see more than the top of her bright forehead.

"I-I mean..." she stuttered. "I'm not dating anyone from school."

"But you ARE dating someone, right?" Yuka asked, standing so that she might glare down her friend properly. "You're not still stuck on that violent, jealous prick, are you?"

Kagome sat up straight as if scalded, and met her friends glare with one of her own. "He's not a violent, jealous dick!" she defended, memories of just the opposite rising to her mind unbidden.

Damn you, InuYasha. Can't even defend you properly without contradicting myself, she thought.

Yuka smirked. "I said prick, Kagome-chan, PRICK."

"Tee hee, Kagome-chan said dick!" Eri giggled. Ayumi shrank down into the booth, mortified at the crowd they were suddenly drawing.

"Um...maybe we should leave." she suggested tentatively.

-*-

"I told you already." Kagome muttered irritably, feeling her hackles rising. "There IS no guy!" Not officially, anyway, she added silently to herself.

Yuka gave her a skeptical look.

"There's NOT!" Kagome defended. "I'm too...erm...sick to be going out with anyone."

Good, Kagome. VERIFY your grandfather's stupid illnesses.

"So you DO have mono, then?" Eri asked. Yuka raised her eyebrow. Ayumi hummed to herself, obliviously walking a few steps behind the other three.

Pausing at the base of the shrine steps, Kagome sighed in exasperation. Either she had to admit to having mono and, therefore, to having some sort of crazy, violent PRICK of a boyfriend OR she had to come up with another reasonable excuse for her constant absences from school...

Kagome sighed again.

"Yes." she agreed ruefully.

The grins on Eri and Yuka's faces grew more ecstatic.

"So who was it?" the asked simultaneously.

"Was he cute?"

"What's he like?"

"It's not THAT guy, is it?"

"What was it like?"

Bombarded yet again, Kagome took a step back, holding her hands before her defensively. What could she say now? The only kiss she'd ever had was the one from a week ago and it was so quick...and perverted...and soft...

No way! She'd pounded that pervert into the ground for what he'd done! He'd STOLEN her first kiss, the one she'd been saving for InuYasha for over a YEAR now! How could she even THINK that she might have, maybe, possibly, probably enjoyed it?

Well, yeah, it was soft...and sweet...and not unpleasantly wet...but it was MIROKU and he STOLE her first kiss...and...and...and...

GAH!

Surely there were more reasons for her to hate him, right? He STOLE it...and...and...

Damn. That was the only one.

Unable to think up another plausible solution to her problem (what with the memories of that kiss making her extremely hot `n all...and NOT in the right places, mind you) she answered "I had mono. But I didn't get it from a guy!"

Eri and Yuka looked at each other, then at Kagome, and then back at each other. Their eyes were as round as saucers and their jaws were dropped between their feet.

"You mean-"

"Kagome, we had no idea-"

"Why didn't you tell us-"

"We would have understood-"

"I mean, if you really swing THAT WAY-"

"NO!" Kagome interrupted yet again, a definite note of panic seeping into her voice now. "I'm not...not...LIKE THAT!" she insisted.

"Ah, but think if you were." a new voice chuckled. "It would give us so many more options."

Speak of the devil and...

Well, Naraku five hundred years in the past. So the monk would have to fill in.

Miroku wobbled down the stairs, leaning heavily on his cane to steady himself as he made his way to the four girls loitering by the shrine steps. He approached with his most charming grin, the one that never failed to earn him a bed for a night or two (or three...or four...).

"Good afternoon, ladies." he greeted, flashing each one of them a special grin of their very own. Each girl blushed in turn. "Kagome, you never told me you had such enchanting friends."

The girls sparkled.

Kagome glared at the suave monk. "What are you doing out here? I thought I told you to stay in the shrine grounds while you were here!"

Miroku turned his grin on her. "But how could I not venture out to see the sights?" he winked. "Besides, you were late coming home. I was quite vexed as to your whereabouts." he forced a very convincing pouty-look.

Kagome frowned. And melted a little.

"But what if you'd gotten lost? And where's Grandpa?"

"He's at the store looking for `historical' pickles." he grinned. "Of course, in all my years of experience, I've never yet come across a sacred vegetable." He hobbled to her, using his cane for support, and stopped only when the view of her cleavage was uninhibited. Ah, it was good to be tall.

Kagome crossed her arms in front of her chest (Miroku noted how they propped up her breasts) and gave him her best stern-look. "Why aren't you inside playing video games with Souta, then?"

"Because he's at school." Miroku answered easily. Damn, he had a point.

"Alright then," Kagome struggled for another excuse to send him back to the shrine. She was still mad at him, after all. She'd been giving him the silent treatment all-

Damn!

Yuka, the first to recover from the flattery, blinked as the lightbulb flickered to life.

"Wait...you're LIVING with Kagome?" she gasped. The other two girls reached reality with a resounding THUD and turned to Kagome for answers.

"B-but, that's not proper..." Ayumi said worriedly, cupping her hand to her face. "You're not MARRIED!"

"Wow, Kagome!" Eri chirped. "I thought I would be the first one! And your mom just lets him?"

"Ah...it's not like that." Kagome coughed nervously. "He's just staying with my family for a while. He's my-"

Miroku, struck with sudden brilliance (if he did say so himself), threw his arms about Kagome's shoulders and pulled her firmly to his side. Kagome squeaked in protest, but Miroku cut off any further protests by proclaiming "Why, I am her betrothed, of course!"

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Authors Note: I read somewhere that the only place you can get a cheeseburger, large fries and a diet soda is America. Probably not true, but I find it disturbing all the same.

Anyway, about the chapter. I know Kagome doesn't ever curse like this, but creative license took over. Besides that, if anyone has reason to curse, it's her. Plus, you know she's GOT to be thinking a blue streak every time Miroku cops a feel...

Good luck w/this cliffy, Horrid ^^

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Next Author: Horridporrid

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