InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Being Me ❯ Filled With Hate ( Chapter 5 )

Sorry it has taken me so long to update anything here, but I tend to forget about this site. I am going to try and get all of my stories up to date on here, so check for those.

 

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Kagome's POV

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I stopped screaming after a moment and turned around to look at my attacker.

 

"Sango-chan!" I yelled before I tackled her with a hug, knocking us both down.

 

I had missed her so much and it was good to finally see her again.

 

"Was my father mad? How is my mother? Was she crying? Are they looking for me?" I could not help but ask all of these questions at once, I needed to know what was going on.

 

"I will be more than happy to answer all of your questions, but first could you get off of me?" Sango asked, laughing when I hurriedly got off of her and held my hand out to help her up.

 

When she was finally yup we walked further into the garden, just incase anyone was around, we did not want them to hear what we were talking about.

 

"Your parents seemed worried, but neither showed it much. They are searching for you, they asked me so many questions, but I managed to keep up the charade," Sango said as we stopped near a rose bush.

 

"It would figure, even when I am missing they do not show any feeling towards me," I sighed as I sat down on the ground, pulling my knees to my chest.

 

"That is not true, like I said, they were worried about you. They had to have been, they are your parents after all and they love you," Sango tried to comfort me, and I am thankful that I have her as a friend, but we both know that my parents do not care about me as one would think they would.

 

"Let us go inside, I still have work to do," I finally said after a few moments.

 

Sango nodded and then helped me up before walking back towards the castle.

 

"How is it working as a servant?" Sango asked right before we walked inside, all I could really do was smile.

 

"I suppose you could say that I have been promoted, I now take care of the two children that live here. Nothing more, nothing less."

 

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Sango had been welcomed with open arms, or nearly so. She had of course been friends with Miroku, which made her friends with Inuyasha too, this is what earned her a room close to my own. She had said that she needed to stay out here so that she may look for the princess that had gone missing, and they of course had told her that she could stay here as long as she needed.

 

I had tucked the children into bed over and hour ago, and now I was laying down, not able to sleep. I had tried simply closing my eyes, but that did not work like it usually had. I was tired but my mind would not let me get any rest, it kept thinking about everything that has been happening. I decided to get up and walk around a bit, hoping that it would help me go to sleep, so I put a robe on before I headed out my bedroom door.

 

I walked down the dimly lit hallway, looking at all of the decorations that adorned the walls. It really was a beautiful place, far more expensive looking than my home was, but something about it seemed so cold and unwelcoming, so it did not give off much of an appeal other than the promise of shiny things that cost an arm and a leg. I never knew why the rich needed so many worthless things, it is not like they do anything but sit around and collect dust. They are there to make more work for all of the servants that they feel that they must clean the worthless crap and to do everything that they are capable of doing but refuse to do.

 

I suppose the rich feel that they need these useless things to remind them that they have power over something, or someone, and it makes them as akin to happy as they will ever get. I know I am harsh on people with a higher sense of wealth and power, and I am not sorry for it. I know not all of the nobles are like this, but most that I have seen are and I am just not happy with how they treat others that they deem of less importance. Everyone is important, no matter what class or station they are, they are here for a reason, or so I believe. I know my ideals are not the same as most, like my parents, but I believe that they are right so I will fight as hard as I can for people to realize that they are blind to the needs of the world.

 

"Such a disgrace," I whispered to myself as I kept walking.

 

I was not sure where I was going, I just could not sleep and I felt the need to be doing something other than laying in bed. I was not sure if I should be wandering around, but I never really was one to do what I was told. I would always appear to be following orders, but I always found some way around it, a way that no one would figure out for days, and by then they would be too lazy to think of a punishment for me. I suppose people would look at me and think that I was spoiled, and they may be right in a sense, but I was never spoiled love like I been so desperately wanting since I was but a child.

 

"Mother and father were to busy to love me," though most would say that it was not true, I knew better.

 

I learned at a young age that I was just there for show, that I would spend my days with the servants, I would rarely see my parents, only when they needed to show me off at some party or another. My mother was not always like that, I remember her reading me stories and kissing me good-night, but she just stopped one night. She had changed so suddenly, from a kind and caring woman into a woman who only cared about jewels and parties. She went from a fairly plain woman who loved me, to an elaborate woman who never had time for me, and people wonder why I hate being royalty.

 

"I hate being me,"

 

It was true, I wished that I was someone else, anyone else, just as long as I would have a mother and father who cared. I would be the poorest of peasants, give up everything that I had, just to be loved like that again. I continued to walk until I made it to the door that led to the gardens, though I was not sure if I should go out. I wanted to, but I did not want to be punished if I was caught, but then again, I was not one to fear a punishment. I walked outside and smiled as the cool night air hit my skin, it felt wonderful to be out here. Everything seemed so much different from my home, and it was good in some ways, but others I do not think that I will ever get use to. Being away from my home and having a chance to live as someone else is something that I have always dreamed of doing, though it never quite went this way in my head, but I am still grateful for the chance. This is not all about getting me away from that horrible man, it is giving me a chance to find out who the real me is. I have been thinking about remaining here, watching the children grow and hopefully have children of their own. If I was to go back I would be married off, true I would have children of my own, but I am not sure that I will ever be truly happy living like that. I want more than riches and jewels, I want a love that makes me happy to wake up every morning and reluctant to go to sleep every night.

 

"A dream,"

 

That is all I can do now is dream of a perfect love, a love that will never happen. I sat down under the dream that the children and I had earlier fallen asleep under. It was such a beautiful night, the stars were bright in the sky, as was the moon. I breathed in the cool air, smiling the whole time, it was nice to be alone out here. I never had much of a chance to be alone when I was at home, I always had someone with me, trying to wait on me hand and foot. I hated it, but they would never go away.

 

"So quiet,"

 

It was a very quiet night, no one else was out to make any sort of noise. The only people that would be up at this time are the guards, and they are never in the gardens, at least this is what I have learned from my observing. I laid back a bit to get a better view of the sky, I loved trying to count the stars from my window at home, it made the nights go by faster. My eyes began to feel heavy as I continued to count the stars, and I was about to get up and go back inside, but I could not make it up before I fell asleep.

 

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Sesshoumaru's POV

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I had been watching the girl from my balcony. I had wanted to go down there and say something, but for some reason I just watched her. She seemed so peaceful, I did not want to disturb her, and it was not like she was bothering anyone. Usually I was never this soft on the help, but as of late I have found that I have become dare I say, nicer. The children have brought this out in me, before they came along I would have been down there scolding the girl, but they have softened me with their warms smiles and innocent ways.

 

"Damn emotions,"

 

I have always had emotions, though most would say differently, I just always had a hold on them. I could stop myself from acting on them, appearing so cold, but now it harder to do so. I watched as the girl sat under that tree, and I also watched as she fell asleep. I knew that I could not leave her there all night, she would end up sick and would not be able to watch the children, causing them to come running to me for entertainment. I made my way down to the garden, which did not take long, just so I could save myself a headache in the morning. She was sleeping so soundly, so I lifted her off of the ground as carefully as possible, all I needed was for her to wake up and end up screaming in my ear. I carried her back to her room, being as quiet as I could, I did not want anyone seeing me holding a human this close, I do not even like anyone to see me holding Rin like this, let alone a servant wench.

 

I walked into her room and set her on the bed, though I did not bother to cover her, I already did more than I should have. I left the room after I got rid of the girl and walked back to my own chambers, sleep was starting to sound like a good idea. I had not slept much the day before, so I planned to get a good nights rest. I walked into my room and laid down, finally intent on sleeping as I closed my eyes and let the cool breeze lull me to sleep.