InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Beside You in Time ❯ 1599: Edo ( Chapter 4 )

Kagome stepped down off of Sesshoumaru's dust cloud and into the snow, breaking the thin crust of ice laying on top of the snow and sinking down several inches. There was another crunch behind her as the taiyoukai allowed his cloud to dissipate into the dry air. "How far is it from here?" she asked.

"A couple hours to the east," he replied, sweeping past her and leaving his neat trail of footprints behind him. He could move with shocking grace through the snow, Kagome had long since discovered. It must be his long legs and stride, she mused as she stepped into his path. Each neat print he had left crumbled as she walked through them like a child, hopping from one to another.

"Couldn't you have brought us any closer?"

"No. Our paths will diverge soon. You will continue to the east, but I must go back to the south and west."

Kagome frowned, stumbling slightly and covering her calf with powdery snow. "And how am I supposed to get to the village alone? It doesn't look anything like I remember it around here, and it's been so long."

"Thirteen years is nothing in an immortal's lifespan. Things move quickly around you as you remain still."

"Oh. Well, that doesn't make me feel better in the slightest." She huffed as snow began to wedge itself into her boot. Cold didn't really bother her anymore - the knowledge that she could not freeze to death kind of took away the chill - but it wasn't comfortable either. "Couldn't you have just flown me to the village?" she asked again. She was whining now, she knew. It wasn't entirely fair though. They had been traveling for months, and she was slightly peeved he had decided to stop here - so close and yet so far away.

"If you are so intent upon flying to the village, you are welcome to take a leap off the nearest cliff in an attempt. I will not be taking you."

She rolled her eyes but remained quiet as she trudged along behind him across the fields that were sparsely populated with trees that crouched towards the ground, as if in shame of their wintry nakedness. It was so open, so white, that she felt as if they were the only two living creatures in the world. And if she turned her head away, she could imagine that even Sesshoumaru, with his silver hair and white kimono, melted into the background, and she was alone. But even though she had spent the last three months with the taiyoukai, she couldn't bear doing that for long. "Sesshoumaru?"

"What?"

"You're not really going to leave me all alone out here, are you?"

His golden eyes - he had dropped the concealment spell once they left London, and she had not witnessed its return yet - turned to her over his shoulder. "As tempting as the idea might be after such prolonged, constant contact," he said, pausing for a moment, "no."

"Your kindness is overwhelming," she muttered just as it began to snow again. The white sky above them was swirling with what promised to be a terrific storm, but she simply smoothed back her hair and looked around. "So I'm getting a guide? I know that you sent a message ahead from China with those bird demons. Will one of your servants be coming to take me back?"

He paused beside a long, flat-topped boulder that rose from the ground at least three feet. Kagome climbed on top, sending a cascade of snow over the ledge like a white waterfall. She pulled her collar up as a reflex and looked around the white plain. "Where..."

The taiyoukai interrupted so smoothly that she didn't bother to get annoyed. "Remember our arrangement."

She nodded. "Right. You'll return once a season. If for any reason we need to leave some other time, I'll send word," she recited. They had spoken at length during their trip of how long they would remain in Japan, but had agreed that there was no way to know until they got there. It comforted Kagome to think that Sesshoumaru would be checking on her every few months, but it was also strange to think of leaving him for even those few months. She hoped desperately that there was someone she knew left in Edo. If no one was there, she had already decided to travel to his home in the Western Lands. She wouldn't be able to spend even the few days it would take for a message to reach him before leaving.

The urge to tell the taiyoukai this overwhelmed her, despite knowing that he would not appreciate such sentimentality. When she turned to tell him anyway, she found that he was already walking away. Jumping off the boulder, she moved to follow.

"Kagome!"

There was a flash of red, and suddenly, she was wrapped up in an embrace of shocking strength. Kagome stiffened for a moment in fear before realizing that she knew exactly who this was - his voice, his hair brushing her face and his scent were all so familiar that for a moment, it hurt. She clutched at him. "Shippo," she cried into his shoulder. She pushed back a bit and wiped at her eyes, which were all at once streaming with large tears. The kitsune in front of her looked at her with considerable amusement. "You've grown up!"

The fox demon grinned and shrugged his shoulders - shoulders that were so much broader than the last time she had seen him - and his long, red hair swayed with the movement. The bow had gone missing long ago.  "Have I?" he asked, clearly pleased with himself. His face still had some of its childish fatness to it, but his limbs were long, and he matched her height now. He had grown considerably in the years before she left Japan, but she realized that she had still left behind a child. Now he was a young man - about the age Sota had been when she had last seen him.

"You have," she affirmed, sniffing a bit. She pulled him back into her arms for another hug. "I've missed you!"

He laughed. "I missed you too, Kagome." They parted again, but he kept hold of her hand. "How are you?"

"Wonderful. I'm so glad to be back! It was exhausting getting here."

"I thought you didn't get tired," he said with a grin.

"I don't need sleep, but that doesn't mean I don't get worn out from the constant company of a stuck-up taiyoukai every once in awhile."

"You're going to have to explain that whole thing to me on the way back. You hanging out with Sesshoumaru," Shippo said, shaking his head. "But if you're tired, then come on. I'll get you to the village before it gets late."

The stone of fear that had been forming in her stomach for the last few months reminded her of its existence with a painful jolt. She managed to paste on a smile anyway. "Alright. Let's go."

Shippo grinned and they began to wade through the snow. "So, I suppose you want to know..."

Before he could say another word, she broke in, "So, why are you the one that Sesshoumaru found to take me?"

"He didn't," Shippo replied, his eyes widening slightly. He took in the way Kagome's lower lip quivered, despite the smile, but he went along with the distraction. "He sent a message to Suoh, Rin's mate. He's the captain of Sesshoumaru's guard. Anyway, Rin told him to send the message on to me."

"I'm glad she thought of you. But I didn't even know Sesshoumaru had a guard."

The kitsune smiled in a way that told Kagome she had said something very naive. "He has a whole army. He just doesn't use it - it's a point of pride that the dog demons of the West don't need their vassals. There's an elite guard that he keeps to protect his home when he's away. That's what Suoh is in charge of. But we're all pledged to him as soldiers, just in case."

"We?" repeated Kagome, arching one eyebrow.

"My father and grandfather and great-grandfather, all the way back. My whole family has pledged loyalty to the Western Lands," Shippo replied. "I'm the only male left, but I'm still a noble and still his vassal. Even if I didn't want to, I had to answer Suoh's message to come for you. Duty called." He grinned again as Kagome lightly elbowed him in the ribs.

"I'm not sure I like the idea of you being Sesshoumaru's soldier," she said.

He let out a soft breath. "As soon as I complete my training with the kitsune master, I'm going to ask Suoh for a place with Sesshoumaru's guard." He frowned a moment. "I suppose I should ask Lord Sesshoumaru personally, now that he's here."

Kagome squeezed his hand between her own. "Why? I mean, you're a soldier in name now. Why do you need to put yourself in more danger?" She looked at his shoulders and his jaw, and suddenly, she found the little boy that had slept on her pillow and begged for chocolates. "You're so young, Shippo. I mean, won't they think that you're too young?"

"My family's lands, as small as they were, are gone," he said. "Other demons took them. I want to use my skills to protect people, Kagome. You always said that that was the best part of being a demon - taking care of others. And I have to go through training with them too. It'll be awhile before I'm assigned to a post."

"I suppose," Kagome replied. "But you'll be watching over just a castle."

"And everyone in it," he corrected. "Lord Sesshoumaru has a lot of people working for him, you know. It's a whole city really."

The worried crease of his forehead told her how much he wanted her approval, and she couldn't deny him. It terrified her, but she just couldn't say anything. She comforted herself with the thought that anyone mated to Rin wouldn't let anything happen to Shippo. "Well, I think that as long as you keep yourself safe, that sounds very worthy of your talent. I'm glad you can help them, Shippo." She smiled and shrugged. "And I suppose I can't say that helping Sesshoumaru is so bad. He's done a lot for me in the past few years. I'm not sure he deserves you though."

The kitsune's tense expression relaxed at her words. "Tell me what you've been doing all this time," he said. His eyes swept over her green-clad form. "And what you're wearing. That's a strange kimono."

She laughed and tugged down on her sleeve. "It's from Mongolia, and it's called a deel. One of the women insisted. There was an incident involving a herd of goats and my clothes from London. But maybe I'm getting ahead of myself?" she added at Shippo's perplexed expression.

"Just a little," he admitted. "Start at the beginning?"

Kagome grinned. "Alright. From the very beginning."

The next three hours - for Sesshoumaru had calculated the time to get to the village as the time it would take him to get there, not those who walked at a normal pace - were spent on Kagome's tales. Shippo listened with rapt attention, hardly interrupting except for a few choice comments about Garrick and compliments after she spoke a few words of English at his insistence.

"So when they saw what the goats had done, the tribe leader's wife insisted upon giving me this." She gestured down her front at the high-collared swath of fabric that wrapped around her. "And after that, we came straight here. Well, we stopped in China, but nothing happened there. Sesshoumaru wasn't kidding when he said he got tired if he traveled too far."

Shippo was still laughing at the image of waking to see one's clothes being devoured by goats. "I'm glad you made it," he managed to say.

"So am I," she said, hugging his arm to her side. "So what's been going on around here?" she asked.

It was out before she could stop it. It was such a natural question, after all, and she had let her guard down. Now it was out and hanging in the air. Shippo stopped laughing, stopped walking and stopped holding her hand. "Kagome..."

"No." She backed away and waved her finger at him. "I don't want to know. I didn't mean to ask."

Startling green eyes suddenly found hers. "You're going to find out soon enough," Shippo whispered. He looked away. "Should I get Inuyasha? Would you rather him tell you?"

She took another step backwards. "Inuyasha?" she murmured. "He's alive then?"

"Of course," the kitsune replied with an attempt at a smile that made it all that much worse.

Kagome shook her head. "But someone... someone has died. Who?" she asked, turning away from him.

Shippo hesitated for so long that she almost screamed, but when she looked back, she could see his face contorting with something rarely seen on a trickster's face - grief. She reached out for him, vowing to not cry, and realized that her vision was already blurring. "Please, Shippo. I can't..."

He interrupted her swiftly, with a precision and a grim, steady look that would work well in Sesshoumaru's guard. "Sango."

Kagome swallowed. "Oh."

The ground seemed to tilt beneath her feet, and Shippo had to lunge forward to catch her before she fell. He held her upright and told her quietly to breathe. It was only then that she realized that the ragged gasps echoing around them were her own. She shook her head and sat down right there in the snow, Shippo following.

"Wh-what happened? Did a youkai...?"

He almost smiled. "No, Kagome. She was old. She got sick and it was over so fast. Nothing could be done. Kikyo tried, but we couldn't..." He paused and sighed. "I'm sorry."

"When?"

"A few years ago," he murmured.

She nodded slowly and then clambered to her feet. "I need to see Miroku," she whispered.

"Come on," he said, searching her pale, blank face. "Don't you want to take a bath first? There's a hot spring nearby." He lifted one eyebrow, but the promise of warmth didn't do much.

She lifted her hand to her cheek and felt a few salty tear stains beneath her fingers. "I just want to wash my face," she said, her voice cracking. "Then I want you to take me to see Miroku."

He did as she asked but did not leave her side. He fussed over her as she carefully wiped the tears from her chin and patted her skin dry. Kagome did not protest the coddling from the young kitsune, nor did she embrace it. Once, he asked if he should fetch Sesshoumaru for her, and she spoke at last. "He'll only say that he was right," she murmured and left it at that.

At last, Kagome stood and tossed her thick mane of hair back. She knew the path from here, of course - this had been the spring where she and Sango had spent so many days of their youth talking about the men in their life. This was where, in later days, Kagome had taken Sango to relieve the arthritis that the middle-aged demon slayer felt in her joints. As Sango had aged and Kagome had remained the same, their trips here together had been less and less frequent. It was one of the reasons she had left - she had felt embarrassed by her everlasting youth in the face of Sango's increasing frailty. Now, such a sentiment struck Kagome as incredibly selfish. Regret weighed down on her as she walked towards the village with Shippo at her side.

The village came into view before she wanted it to. It had grown immensely in just thirteen years - it had already begun to resemble a small city when she had left, and now there could be no denial of that label. Shippo caught her elbow as she moved towards the center, where Miroku and Sango had lived all that time ago. "He moved," Shippo said, guiding her back up the hill.

Several villagers called out to the fox demon as they skirted around the edge of town, and Shippo answered each one by name. Sometimes she saw a brief glimmer of something familiar in a face, but Shippo always shook his head. None of these villagers had been here when she was here last, he kept saying. They were merchants who had come to Edo to make their fortunes. The farmers who had not joined them had moved away. Kagome saw where trees had been cut away to make room for houses, not crops.

It only dawned on Kagome where they were headed when the sounds of the town's market had faded. "The Bone-Eaters' Well?" she asked.

Shippo nodded, his eyes brightening, for she had spoken in more than just a monotone. "A few years ago, we thought it'd be nice to commemorate defeating Naraku."

He didn't need to say the rest - it was built after Sango had died. She knew her friends well enough. "Inuyasha's idea?"

"Yeah. He was kind of picky about how it looked."

"I bet." She could imagine the hanyou modeling the place after what he had seen in the future. She was going to her own home - the ancient shrine she had lived in for the earliest years of her life had been built by her friends to emulate the future. A big, perfect circle. She wasn't sure she could do this anymore. It would be bad enough to see Miroku as an old, broken man - but to see her desperately missed home too? It was too much.

But just as she began to slow down, to pull back a bit, the line of huts ended, and they saw a man in robes standing at the corner of a small shrine house. He was looking directly at them, and Kagome's heart stopped for a moment. "Miroku?"

Although he stood straight, Kagome could see the way he leaned upon his staff. His hair - now white and blending into the snowy background - was still swept back into the small ponytail he had always worn. Her first, ridiculous thought was that she was wrong. This wasn't Miroku, but his father. Or grandfather.

But he moved forward and his smile was unmistakable underneath his violet eyes. "Kagome!" He stretched out his free hand.

Shippo sighed happily as Kagome smiled back at the monk. She stepped forward, but as soon as she touched the monk's fragile, papery skin, her face fell. She began to cry - tears coated her and then Miroku's robes as he gathered her close. "Oh. Oh no," he murmured as he embraced her, "he told you." He glanced over her head to the kitsune. "I told you not to tell her."

"And I told you that that wouldn't work," Shippo replied quietly.

They stood for some time as Kagome cried into Miroku's shoulder. It felt faintly ridiculous - mourning for the wife of the man that calmly held her - and yet, she couldn't stop. Sango was gone, she kept repeating inside of her head. Gone, gone, gone. Miroku would die too. So would Inuyasha and Shippo, in their time. She would last forever. Sango was the first of so many casualties. She cried for so long that Miroku had to guide her back towards the shrine steps, so that he could rest as she wept.

And still, he held her. He continued to murmur soft words of comfort, just as a father would say for his child. "I'm so sorry," Kagome whispered, just as the tears were running out. The sun had moved, and their shadows had lengthened, and she was exhausted. The monk hadn't moved from her side. "I'm so sorry, Miroku."

He smiled softly. "For what, Kagome?"

She pulled away from his shoulder and wiped her nose with the back of her hand. "That she's gone. And that I wasn't here for you," she admitted. "For leaving you alone."

"I wasn't alone," Miroku said. "I had my children, my grandchildren and my great-grandchildren. I had Shippo and Inuyasha. We talked about you everyday, you know. She knew you might not return in time, but all she wanted was for you to be happy and well."

Kagome thought of the woman that had become her sister, and how they had embraced, weeping into each other's hair, before she had left Edo. Sango had said the same thing to her, and she knew that the words were sincere, then and now. She knew that Sango would never begrudge the fact that she had left. She felt a rush of painful joy that she had had such a friend.

Kagome smiled in spite of herself. "This is so weird - you consoling me," she whispered.

"Ah, I've gotten enough of that. She died three years ago for me. For you, she died today."

She looked at her friend and saw the pain still lingering in his eyes. Drawing her knees up beneath her chin and wrapping her arms around her legs, she sighed. "I should have stayed." She looked down the hill at the growing city. "Perhaps I'll stay now."

"No," Miroku said, shaking his head. "You were right to leave, and you'll leave again."

"What? Why? Inuyasha is still here. So is Shippo." She glanced around for the kitsune, but it seemed he had made a quiet exit. He would be back soon enough, she knew.

"They'll leave in time too," he said. "Perhaps not anytime soon, but they will eventually leave. Anyone as long-lived as you three should. Mortals stay in one place for most of their lives because those lives move so quickly. It's all we can do to have full lives in one place, but you can have a full life in a hundred places, Kagome. You shouldn't waste one of the good things that come from your curse."

She shook her head. "I've already missed so much here."

"So have I, out there. Neither of us should regret that," he replied with a smile. He grabbed his staff from where it had been leaning against the steps and stood up, pulling Kagome to her feet and surprising her with his remaining strength. "Should I take you?"

The miko knew what she meant and nodded. "Please."

They walked across the shrine grounds, and Miroku pointed out every feature. The well was still uncovered and Miroku's house was tiny in comparison to the home Kagome would one day have, but it still looked so familiar that she ached. Small offerings decorated the base of the God Tree - a woman was kneeling before it. "I can't believe you take care of a shrine. Isn't there a rule against that?" she said, trying to smile.

Miroku laughed and pointed to a gate, flanked by stone guardians. "Here is the temple that I care for," he said. When Kagome moved, she could see straight down the gate to the small pagoda and the rest of the temple's buildings beyond it. "The village headman's daughter is the miko here, although, unlike you, she has no great powers as a priestess. She still lives with her father and comes here each morning to do those tasks that I cannot do. She spends the rest of the day in the village, taking care of the sick and hungry."

"It's not a village anymore," Kagome replied, looking at the temple entrance with appreciation as they moved past. She had never known that there was a temple close to her shrine - it would be long gone in her era. Of course, Inuyasha would have known that too. She remained silent, hoping that the monk didn't know.

"It is much different. I suppose I cannot help but call it a village," he said, with a shrug.

"You and Sesshoumaru both talk about the world moving quickly," she said, "but I just can't get used to it. I'm still human, even if I'm not mortal. Things change too much for me. It's terrifying."

Miroku nodded. "I'm sure it is. Even Inuyasha and Shippo express their surprise that the world changes this fast. Of course, they're young. I wonder if older youkai feel the same way." He looked up at the sky for a moment. "Either way, terrifying or not, you shouldn't miss it, Kagome. You have a chance to do in one life what it will take my soul many lives to do."

At the edge of the forest, just where a grove would stand in five hundred years' time, they approached a large marker. It was rough stone, but hewn into the five-tiered pagoda shape that represented the five elements of earth, water, fire, wind and the ether. Kagome stood in silence for a moment before stepping up to the stone and running her fingers along the names of the deities of each element. And at the bottom, Sango's name.

Tears came again, although she thought she used them all up. She sat down in front of the stone marker and kept her hand on her friend's name. "This is here in my time," she murmured.

Miroku's staff jingled as the monk started. "Is it?" He sounded relieved.

"Yes, but the engravings are gone," she said, wiping at her face. She took a sharp breath and looked up at him. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that."

He shook his head. "It's alright. Even stone crumbles, Kagome. I am pleased that it will last until your time. For you to know that it stands for Sango is enough. If anyone could remember, she would want it to be you."

Kagome turned her face away and sobbed into her sleeve. "Why her? It's not fair. I shouldn't have left. I have to live without her forever," she cried, "and I miss her so much already. How can I live through all of this without her?"

Miroku knelt down in the earth beside the miko. "I asked the same things," he said, "every night for a year after she died. I came here after the children and the grandchildren and the great-grandchildren left, and I asked. Sango only answered when I asked questions she knew the answer to."

Kagome lifted her head and looked at him. "What do you mean?"

"No one knows the answers to those questions, Kagome. How could Sango answer them?" he asked. Smiling, he leaned forward and placed his hand on his wife's name. "I felt better once I could hear her voice again, but I had to say the right things." He paused and his grin widened. "Just like when she was alive, actually."

"Miroku..."

"Go on." The old monk turned to her and gave a nod of his snowy head. "Ask her something she can answer."

Kagome looked back at the silent stone and edged closer. "Sango," she began, closing her eyes. "Sango, I'm so sorry I wasn't here. Do you forgive me?"

And in her mind's eye, Sango appeared, just as young as she had been when they first met and clothed in her embroidered wedding kimono. It was the most beautiful and most happy she had ever been, and she laughed in the miko's mind, just as she had laughed then. Kagome could hear the taijiya's voice echoing inside her head, and although there were no distinct words, Kagome felt her answer. Sango would have forgiven her in a moment.

She opened her eyes again and looked at Miroku, and although she was crying again, Kagome smiled softly. "Feel better?" he asked.

Kagome shook her head. "Overall? Not really," she admitted.

He nodded and stood up. "The gates are always open," he said. Without waiting for a reply, he held out his hand to help her to her feet. "I will take you to stay with my daughter, Taka, and her husband. Do you remember her? They live close to the shrine. Her son's wife just had twins, and they built their own home. Taka has an extra room now."

"That'd be nice of her. Her son was still young when I left," she said. She gave him a look as they walked away from the grave. "I'm surprised at you, Miroku."

"That I didn't invite such a lovely woman as yourself to stay with me?" Miroku asked, laughing. "Ah, Kagome, even I learn to stop asking eventually. Although, if you wish, for old time's sake..."

"Miroku!" she interrupted with an exasperated roll of her eyes. "I was joking."

"So was I," said the old monk with a smile. "You see, people do change, Kagome."

"Who said they didn't?"

He shrugged and didn't say anything else about it.

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The gates were open, as Miroku had promised, when she returned late that night. Despite not needing sleep, this was the latest she had been out in quite some time. But, as bad as she felt for thinking it, she had to get away from Taka. It was strange to be treated as a teenager when Kagome remembered Taka herself as an infant, after all. She suspected that Sango and Miroku's progeny couldn't really understand what was wrong with her - with all of them, really. Taka had been given bits and pieces of the fight against Naraku by her parents - a victory there, a defeat here and, of course, the final, glorious battle. It'd been the 'glorious' that had stopped Kagome cold, as she had listened to Taka and her husband chattering away happily about what had become a family legend.

Glorious? She hadn't remembered anything glorious about it. She remembered a lot of blood and screaming and dying. She remembered Inuyasha fighting for his life and her life. She remembered feeling almost useless, until that last moment when she had helped vanquish the evil hanyou. But even that moment hadn't been glorious... it'd been painful. She'd been battered to a pulp, along with all of her friends, and she'd known that there was a body they were already too late to revive. Kohaku had died before the battle had started, and Sango had wept. Miroku had removed his prayer beads silently, without the joy that everyone had expected. Inuyasha had simply stared at Kikyo, who had survived against all odds.

It wasn't just her that the Shikon no Tama had cursed, after all. It was all of them.

She knelt down in front of the grave with her feet tucked underneath her body and touched Sango's name again. "It's okay. They weren't there," she murmured, knowing that it really wasn't alright. It seemed unfair that the only ones that truly understood their pain were dying. Were dead. "You could have been a little more truthful about the worst parts. But I suppose you were just trying to protect them. I really do understand that."

Kagome took a smooth, gray, river stone from her sleeve and placed it at the base of the grave. "I brought you something. I'm sorry it's not food or drink or flowers," she said, turning the stone so that it caught the moonlight. "Oh, I did get this." She drew a small sprig of red berries from her other sleeve and placed it beside the river stone. "It's a pathetic offering, but I hope you'll forgive me for the second time today."

A soft sound of footsteps drew her attention, and she glanced around, annoyed at the interruption. "I'm a miko," she said, loudly enough for a youkai or human's ears, "and not someone you want to mess with."

"No shit."

A smile slowly spread across her face. "Inuyasha, you jerk, what took you so long?"

The red-clad hanyou stepped out of the shadows and crossed his arms. "Keh. You've only been here a few hours. What did you want? A party?"

"Practically got one already, thanks. Taka cooked more than even you could eat in one sitting," she replied.

"Not possible." He moved fully into the moonlight, and Kagome could see how his face had thinned and the small lines at the corners of his eyes. Just like everyone else that was not her or Sesshoumaru, he had aged.

Still, she forced her smile to remain as she moved closer. "How're you?"

"Good." He paused and arched an eyebrow. "Why the hell do you smell like that bastard?"

"Long story."

It was a credit to Inuyasha's maturity that he only crossed his arms and glowered for a moment. "Yeah, I bet. Good thing you don't need any sleep."

Kagome obliged and sat down. "I'll tell you then."

"In the snow?" he asked, eyeing her already soaked clothing.

"Oh. I suppose it doesn't bother me anymore."

He sighed and pulled her to her feet. "Me neither, but I don't like getting cold and wet if I can't help it," he said, wrapping one around around her waist and jumping up into one of the trees that arched over Sango's grave. They spent a few moments getting arranged before Inuyasha spoke again. "Well?"

She looked up at the sky through the bare branches of the tree. "What do you think? I ran into him in a place really far from here called London, and I convinced him that to find and beat those thieves, it'd be better to work together. We didn't have any luck though."

"Not such a long story then."

Kagome laughed quietly. "Well, there's a lot more to it than that, but I'm not sure any of it is very interesting. Not to you. I mean, a lot of it inevitably involves your brother."

"You aren't..."

She rolled her eyes and tried not to utter the dreaded 'sit'. "No, of course not! It's your brother, Inuyasha. It's been three years, and I don't think we're even friends."

His ears flicked forward. "How does he manage that?" he asked in interest. "You don't let anyone not be friends with you, Kagome. Unless they're trying to kill you. And even then..."

"Oh shut up," she interrupted with a small smile. "I can't help that. But I admit Sesshoumaru might have me beat."

He leaned back against the tree trunk. "Well, you forced me into it," he said, with a bit of amusement lacing his tone. "If anyone can make friends with that bastard, it's you, Kagome."

She grinned. "That might be the nicest thing you've ever said to me, Inuyasha."

"Keh. Don't get worked up about it. I just meant you're irritatingly stubborn."

"Oh, well. That sounds familiar, like someone I know," she teased. Just as the hanyou was about to retort, she shook her head. "Come on, don't fight. Not in the first five minutes we've seen each other after thirteen years. Let's talk about something else. I'll tell you about London later."

Inuyasha crossed his arms. "Fine. Why'd you come back?"

"I suppose you mean why did I come back now," she corrected with a sigh. "It was less of a question coming back here than why we had to leave England."

"Well, at least you had good timing."

She followed his eyes down to the grave and pushed away from him slightly. "I couldn't have known!" she seethed.

"Yeah, I know," he snapped, turning his face back to her. "I was serious. You told me not to pick a fight! Besides, I missed it too."

Kagome frowned and stilled. "You weren't here when she died?"

"I was killing a youkai a couple days away," he muttered. "They made it sound so important, and I had to leave just as she started getting sick. It was a damn lizard demon. A farmer could have taken it out." His claws were digging into his own palms, and Kagome pried one hand open.

"I'm sorry, Inuyasha."

He frowned at her for a moment and then shrugged. "It's fine," he said, uncurling his other hand. Little droplets of blood rested on his palms and the tips of each claw.

The miko bit her lip. "What did you mean that I had good timing then? If you weren't talking about Sango?"

Inuyasha took a deep breath. "Did you tell Miroku?" he asked, ignoring her question.

"Tell him what?"

"That there are two of those graves in your time," he murmured, nodding towards the marker beneath them.

Kagome squirmed slightly and, for the first time, felt the cold, wet fabric of her clothing pressing against her. "No, of course not. Why would I do that? Besides, the names are worn off of both of them." She frowned as Inuyasha gave her a pointed look. "Yes, I'm now aware that it's probably his grave. But what's the surprise in that? He's going to die. We both know that. While we're at it, why haven't you told him that there's no temple here in my time?"

"I have."

"You... Why would you do that?" she asked, her voice rising in pitch.

He narrowed his eyes. "I think it was pretty much obvious when we were building this place, and I didn't mention a damn temple. He's the one that added that. You think that it was my idea? I wasn't going to lie."

"I'm sorry," she replied quietly. "I just don't think it's fair that we know all this stuff about his future."

"He knows more than you think," Inuyasha said.

It was more than a comment on their friend's wisdom. She looked up at the hanyou. "What do you mean?"

"It means that you really do have good timing," he said quietly. "I told Miroku already. He's dying, Kagome."

Kagome closed her eyes and turned her head away, her lips pressed together. Pushing off suddenly, she dropped from the tree branch and landed hard on the snowy ground. Her ankles protested, warning her that she could hurt herself.

"Kagome!" Inuyasha touched down beside her and grabbed her arm. "Are you okay? What the hell are you thinking?"

She shook him off. "I needed to be on the ground," she ground out. "I can't listen to this. Not today, Inuyasha."

"He knows. Why shouldn't you?" he asked, taking hold of her again.

"I just found out about Sango, and you're dumping this on me too? You jerk!" She shoved him away and turned. When he appeared in her path again, she crossed her arms. "Don't make me say it, Inuyasha!"

"Fine. Go ahead and say it," he snarled, "if that's what will make you feel better. If you listened to me for two seconds though, you might realize that I've been trying to help him, and you could too!" He took a small pouch out from his haori and threw it down at her feet. "I wasn't here to see you get home, because I was getting this from Jinenji."

Kagome stooped down and pick up the little cloth bag, opening it to find finely chopped roots. "Astragalus?" she murmured, her training with Kaede flooding back into her mind. "But that's just for general immunity."

"Yeah, well, we just started. We're not sure what's wrong yet. I can just smell it on him. There'll be a lot more stuff in the spring that Jinenji can give us though. It's been a bad winter and that's all he had left." Inuyasha shifted his weight and looked down. "I shouldn't have told you like that."

"Probably not," she said with a sigh. "But I can't help if I don't know. What does Kikyo say?"

He gave a half-hearted shrug. "She's been helping up north with a plague for a few weeks now. She doesn't know."

Kagome considered the medicinal roots in her hand and put them back in the pouch. Forty years ago, she would have sent Inuyasha to get the older miko immediately, but this time, she only looked at him with a steady eye. "We'll find something to help him. He'll be fine."

Inuyasha nodded. "He says the same thing."

"But?" She could hear it in his voice.

He plucked the bag out of her hands and tucked it back into his sleeve. "But I don't know what he means," he replied. "If he means he'll be fine by living or fine by following Sango."

Kagome bit her lip and felt her heart give a painful beat against her ribs. "I wouldn't have known, if you hadn't told me. He seemed so..."

"Peaceful," Inuyasha finished, and Kagome nodded. "He is. He never seemed bothered by it."

The miko and the hanyou looked at one another. When he reached forward, she didn't move as his claws moved across her cheeks to wipe away fresh tears. Kagome leaned against his touch and closed her eyes. "How does that happen?" she whispered. "His life is so short. Sango's gone. His temple will fall. How does he get peace?"

"Maybe because he can't do anything about it," Inuyasha suggested quietly. "And it's easier when you don't have to see it all happen."

Her eyes opened, and she gave him a small smile. "When did you get so wise?"

"Keh. I've been hanging out with the monks too much." He let his hand drop. "Or maybe, when you left..."

"That wasn't your fault." She winced at his disbelieving glare. "Well, not entirely."

"I didn't want you to leave," he said.

"You had Kikyo. You still do." She smiled and shrugged. "I always knew who came first, Inuyasha. I spent thirty years seeing if you would change your mind. And then I realized that, even if I am immortal, that's not time I should just throw away waiting for something that won't happen."

The hanyou was quiet for a long moment. "I know," he said at last. "You should find someone."

"I don't know," she replied with a shrug. "You're a pretty tough act to follow, you know. It doesn't matter if I do find someone or not. It's the fact that I shouldn't spend my time waiting." She sighed and let out a soft laugh. "I guess I understand what Miroku was talking about now about not staying in one place."

"You'll still stay and help?" he asked, lifting his eyes to hers.

"Of course." Kagome reached forward and took his hand. "Hey, I still love you. All of you. I want you to know that. Just in case."

Inuyasha nodded and glanced at Sango's grave over her shoulder. "We know. We love you too, Kagome."

She smiled. It was probably the closest she would ever get, no matter how many lives she lived. And as they walked back across the shrine grounds, she knew that that was just fine.

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The leaves were turning again, and the chill of autumn was sweeping down from the mountains on a regular basis. The crispness in the air told her that it wasn't just winter that was coming that day though. She wasn't surprised to hear the cry of one of the new monks when the taiyoukai landed in the courtyard.

She turned and made her way to the center of the shrine complex. "It's alright," she called, holding up one hand before the man could through one of his potent sutras. "He's a friend, Juro-san."

The monk paused with his hand half-way towards his sleeve and eyed the dog demon. "Lord Sesshoumaru?" he murmured.

The dog demon arched an eyebrow and gave a slight nod.

"Forgive me." Juro gave a stiff bow and glanced at the amused miko. "Will you be alright, Lady Kagome?"

"Juro, if I wasn't, there's nothing you could do about it," Kagome replied smoothly. "Go. You're going to be late for your meditations."

Sesshoumaru waited until the monk was out of sight. "You are strict with him," he said.

"Is that approval?" she asked. "I don't mean to be. Not like you. Juro is new and needs to learn that he can't just go charging into battle against any youkai he meets. He's very talented, but I think it's gone to his head. It'd be a pity if he ended his talent on your claws. Or anyone else's."

"Hn."

"How have things been going back home? How is Shippo doing?"

He nodded. "Well. I do not have any such scruples as you do in protecting my trainees' feelings, and yet the kitsune excels."

"Of course he is," she replied with no small measure of motherly pride. "But I don't want him guarding anything yet. He's too young."

Sesshoumaru gave her a sharp glance. "That is my decision."

"I know, but maybe one you should leave to Rin's mate instead. Since we'll be gone."

The taiyoukai paused. "Then you are finished here?"

"For the time being. I really need to go West." She closed her eyes for a moment and shook her head. "It's an overpowering feeling. I feel like I'll die if I don't move soon. We need to go back."

"Yes," the dog demon agreed.

"I've already said goodbye," Kagome said, looking at him again. "To most people, anyway."

Sesshoumaru let her lead him across the courtyard. "You have obtained more shrine maidens," he noticed.

"What? Oh, yeah." She waved at the two young miko that were clearing away dead leaves from the herb garden. They bowed as she passed. "They're promising - almost as promising as Juro. I wish I could stay to train them, but that's not really my thing anyway. My own training wasn't particularly formal. I'm not sure I would know what I was doing. But Kikyo promises to train them in my place. She'll be a bit more pinned down, but I think she's actually looking forward to it. As much as she does look forward to things."

They came the grave site, and she knelt down, clearing away the dead flowers that she had left a few days before. She murmured a few words of goodbye and promises to return. Sesshoumaru stood behind her and read the names on the stone. "When did he die?"

She glanced up at him. "A few weeks after you visited in the summer," she said.

He remembered the stench of sickness that wafted off of the old monk that had greeted him three months earlier and nodded. He had known the human would not live, although Kagome had spent the entire visit speaking about her new concoctions and infusions that she hoped would help his ailing heart. She had mourned the lack of something called a 'hospital'.

Kagome arranged a new bunch of autumn flowers at the base of each stone. "It's okay. We tried really hard. And at least I was here this time," she murmured. "We all were."

"He was old," said the taiyoukai, seeing the slump of her shoulders, despite her words.

"I know, but it doesn't mean that I miss him any less." She stood and took a deep breath. "He spoke me right before he died. He said he couldn't wait until he and Sango could meet me again in their next lives. I just wish I had his faith."

"A strange comment from a miko."

"I'm not your usual miko," she replied. "I'm not your usual human either. Should an immortal believe in reincarnation? Is it possible? What do youkai believe?"

Sesshoumaru frowned, for a youkai's beliefs were intensely personal. "Why should youkai believe anything different from humans?"

"You always work so hard to differentiate yourself from humans," Kagome said with a shrug.

"And you are assuming that humans came to their beliefs first," Sesshoumaru replied shortly.

She laughed. "I suppose I am," she said, glancing at him. "It's a shame you didn't know Miroku better. He would have liked you a lot. I think you would have liked him, as much as you do like humans."

He considered the way her hands gripped each other, and the liquid sadness of her eyes above her false smile. She had truly suffered, and she would continue to suffer for quite some time - he could see that, although he could not empathize with it. That was not something he could do, nor something he wished to do. But he had spent many years in the company of humans, and Rin had warned him what might be waiting for him when he returned to Edo this time. He gave as much as he was willing to give to his companion of three years. "Perhaps," he conceded.

"Thanks." Kagome pressed her lips against her fingers and touched each grave. "This was difficult," she said, as her fingers touched Miroku's name. "All of it, not just finding out Sango was dead and watching Miroku follow her. All of it was just so hard to deal with. It's not home anymore when it doesn't feel familiar and when you're so heartbroken all the time."

The miko looked up at him. "Will you promise me something? It's something I don't think you'll mind promising anyone."

"What is it?"

"Promise me that you won't die." She smirked. "It's not often someone can actually keep that promise."

Sesshoumaru frowned. "I am not a replacement for your human companions."

"No, you're not. And I know you don't understand what this is like for me, because you don't feel this way about anyone. Not about anyone that can die so quickly, anyway," she amended. "But as much as you don't understand, you still understand more than anyone else. And that's important to me."

The taiyoukai considered this for a moment. Rin had been right - Kagome knew more of his own thoughts than he had given her credit for. "I will not die, but not because of your request."

Kagome smiled and nodded. "Good enough for me."

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A/N: Ah, that was a difficult chapter to write. It's been a tough few weeks for me and then there was the subject of the chapter itself... Anyway, there were issues that absolutely had to be dealt with, and this was the ending for some and the beginning of others. This isn't the darkest this story will get, but it might be the most depressing. For me, anyway. LoL.

History fact for this chapter - Buddhist temples were often built next to or within Shinto shrines in Japan. In the early 1900s, a lot of the temples were relocated because of the government's desire to separate the two religions. That proved almost impossible to do, of course, but there were quite a few architectural casualties.