InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Beside You in Time ❯ 1805: Calais ( Chapter 12 )

[ Y - Young Adult: Not suitable for readers under 16 ]

A/N: Oh my gosh, it's been so long! A million apologies. I've been doing silly things like studying for and taking the bar exam, lol.

During my many nights of studying and worrying, I did have my spirits lifted by a couple fabulous artists with fan art for this story. Go give them some love and remember to remove the spaces from the links:

"Beside You in Time Sketches" (for the main characters of the Triberg chapter) by Hira--Akami - http :// hira--akami.deviantart . com/art/ Beside-You-In-Time-Sketches-126281134
"Indian Nights" (for everyone's favorite chapter in Surat, India) by melanippos - http :// melanippos.deviantart . com/art/ Indian-Nights-126428819

How gorgeous are they? I'm so lucky to have such awesome people reading my stories! Thank you! *hugs*

Many thanks to Ijin as well, who patiently reads through these chapters to make it that much better for you guys. :)


The support beam snapped as he hit it, and the barn trembled. Resisting the urge to groan, he slowly got to his feet again and ignored how much it hurt to breathe. He could sense the cackling of his opponent before it came.

"What's the matter, dog? Tired already?"

"Only of you," he muttered, rolling his shoulders and brushing away the larger clumps of wet, rotting hay that had rained down on his greatcoat from the upper loft. He looked up at the rafters.

Jacqueline's face suddenly appeared out of the darkness above him. "There someone else you would rather be with?" she said, grinning.

He knew that she was toying with him - over the past eleven years, he would be given respites in their battles, which she would use to worm information from him. Jacqueline - for he had never learned her real name - was gifted at reading even the most impassive faces. He didn't need to reply to tell her the answers to her questions. He supposed that it was the way she compensated for her lacking in other areas - she had no talent at shape-shifting like her brother had had. He knew all of her faces and all of her forms by now. In return, she knew all of his secrets. In a way, she knew him better than anyone. Even Kagome.

He sighed. Especially Kagome.

Sesshoumaru decided to humor her, to buy a few more moments of time. "I would rather be with the Devil himself," he replied, looking around for any weapons he might use. Jacqueline had a rusted pitchfork, and she wielded it well enough to tell him that she'd had proper training with pole weapons. All he had was a short, worn blade and a muzzle-loader that only held one shot. He wasn't the expert marksman that Kagome was, and he couldn't risk wasting it.

"We're close. You could visit her," teased Jacqueline, swinging the pitchfork around in her hand with ease. "I plan to. After I'm done with you, that is."

He straightened his shoulders. "That seems to preclude the chance I have to see her," he said flatly, "since the only way you would visit her is if I am dead."

"I suppose that does make things difficult for you," she replied with a quirk of the lips. "Why you would want to see the one woman you've been fantasizing about seeing for the past eleven years is beyond me. You're setting yourself up for disappointment."

"The only one disappointed will be her," replied Sesshoumaru. He tried not to move a hand to his side, where the pain was so hot that he could feel it in his teeth, although he wanted to. It felt as if his inside were spilling out of him with each breath of air. "You have kept me from her for far too long."

Her face contorted. "Your dedication is revolting," she said, melting back into the shadows and signaling the end of their conversation.

The taiyoukai grabbed a disintegrating horse collar from the wall of one of the stalls a moment before she descended from the rafters like an owl gliding down for its prey. He caught the prongs of her pitchfork in the collar a second too late - he twisted away as he felt the rusted metal slice into him, but managed to hold on long enough to use his leverage to toss her to the other end of the stall. The barn walls rattled with the force of the hit.

The pitchfork's handle had snapped. Jacqueline grabbed the pronged bit as Sesshoumaru drew his knife, keeping the horse collar as his shield. She growled at him, but she seemed to be finished with her taunts. Lunging, the pitchfork was angled to finish the job it had started.

Blood was flowing, seeping into his shirt already, and he felt like he was moving slowly in comparison to her striking anger. He caught her hand anyway, and they tumbled together as their equilibrium failed. Another sharp, head-ringing pain shot up his spine as he hit another support beam. Dust rained down into their hair as they struggled with the pitchfork that was pointed at his heart.

It was inevitable that the barn would crumble under the weight of their battle, but it picked a poor moment. Sesshoumaru fell through the rotted wall first, landing on his back for the second time in as many moments, and it knocked the air from his lungs. The most he could manage was to roll over, pinning her with his body and knocking the pitchfork away as she spat in his face.

He registered the feel of cold metal against his ribs only a moment before she shot him.

If he had known what it felt like to have something so small as a bullet rip through his stomach, he never would have subjected Inuyasha to having his older brother's entire hand through his gut. He rolled away from Jacqueline, grasping at his wound as she stood up again. She was already covered in his blood and - embarrassingly, if he had had the ability to form coherent thoughts - holding his pistol.

He blinked up at her, still trying to catch his breath as she grabbed the pitchfork once again. "Looks like I will be visiting the miko after all," she said, smiling.

"She will purify you in a moment," he breathed, his words barely formed.

Jacqueline stood over him and lifted the pitchfork, the prongs pointing down to his chest. "Well, at least she'll be more of a challenge than..."

A spray of blood and brain matter exploded against the side of the barn before she could finish her sentence, and the sound of a rifle report rang through the clearing. Her forehead was adorned with a large, dark hole directly above her left eye, and the woman he had been hunting for eleven years crumpled at his side without another whisper as the edges of Sesshoumaru's vision began to fade.

The vibrations of hooves rippled through the ground as he struggled to draw in air - he was dimly aware that the breath he'd lost in the fall should have long since returned. By the time the two riders dismounted beside him, he was gasping again.

"Dieu," said a familiar male voice in French. His boots were pointed towards the dead shape-shifter.

"Deal with that later," came the quick response of a woman. Sesshoumaru could feel the soft edges of her riding cloak brush against his arms as she leaned over him. She was just a black silhouette against the white sky. "We need to get him back to the house immediately."

Sesshoumaru shivered as snow was packed into his wound. "Can you feel your toes?" the feminine voice demanded as they gently rolled him onto his side and her fingers ghosted over his back. "I don't see an exit wound. Damn. Can you feel your toes? Can you move them?" she asked again. "Just nod once."

He moved his chin to his chest once, falling back again when the effort exhausted him.

"He's already losing a lot of blood," said the man. "He's going to die."

"Not if you help me," she replied crisply, and they lifted him onto one of the horses. The woman swung up into the saddle behind him, and he could smell the recently fired rifle that she used to secure him in place against her chest.

He couldn't hold up his head, and it fell back against her shoulder. "Don't try to speak," she murmured, urging the horse forward. "Just in case you were so inclined, Sesshoumaru."

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He had innumerable flashes of consciousness. At first, they were pure pain, wracking his body from head to toe. He could feel her hands pressing and searching into his wounds and hear her whispering to others. He had to be held down, which exacerbated the pain but prevented him from tearing into her with his claws and teeth, as injured animals sometimes do to their would-be saviors. He could hear the fox demon snarling at him as he fought.

The passage of time was not easily judged, but soon enough, he could feel his body begin to repair itself. The sharp pain faded into sustained aching, and the number of people in the room diminished. He was often delirious, seeing things that were not there. Only she was the constant, and whether her image was sometimes a hallucination or not didn't matter in the end, because the dream could be just as comforting as the real thing if he allowed himself to pretend.

Soon, even her image faded. He was able to slip into a dreamless sleep that stretched for days, punctuated only by sounds on the periphery of his awareness. Her voice filtered through the restful blackness of his unconsciousness, and her unintelligible words floated around him like little strings back to reality, able to be held onto when he wished. For a long time, he was pleased that she was waiting for him in the waking world, but eventually, he wasn't satisfied with whispers.

He dragged himself out of his deep sleep on a cloudy morning and found himself in a plush bed heavy with quilts. A gray, chilly morning had dawned outside of the window at the other end of the room, and she was standing by it, dragging a thick, wool blanket from the armoire and placing it around her shoulders. The light of the fire in the hearth danced across the face that was framed in the fashionable curls of the day. His voice rasped as he spoke. "Kagome."

She stared only for a moment before breaking into a brilliant smile and rushing over to him. "Sesshoumaru!" she cried. "Finally! I was so worried. Do you want some water? Are you cold? How's the pain?"

He listened to her voice and let her tuck the blanket around him. Her joyous rambling seemed so much more like the girl he had met in his father's tomb than the quiet, melancholy woman he had seen more recently. After taking several, long drinks of water to wet his vocal chords, he put a hand out to stop her. "I feel fine," he murmured. "But I would like to know where I am and how long I was asleep."

"For ages," she replied, pulling up a chair and sitting at his bedside. "We were so worried at first that you wouldn't make it. Your lung collapsed, you broke a couple ribs, and, of course, you lost a lot of blood. You had the inevitable infection despite all my precautions. The idea of bacteria just completely escapes everyone in this place." She huffed and took his hand between hers. "Well, you can understand why I was terrified."

"They need to finish me quickly to finish me at all," he replied. He looked up at her. "But I am grateful that you are a good shot."

She grinned. "It was a good one, wasn't it? I've repaid you in full for saving me from the brother now."

"I believe that would be fair," Sesshoumaru said. He rolled his head to look out the window again. "What is the date?"

"Oh, you've woken up just in time actually. Three days until Christmas!" she said. "Which means you've been asleep for almost a month. You probably need some food, I would think. Hold on a minute."

She stepped out for a minute, closing the door behind her to keep in the warmth from the fire. Ignoring the pain in his side, he struggled to sit upright against the pillows of the oak, four-poster bed where he had apparently spent so many weeks. He pushed away several layers of bedding and his nightshirt to reveal the bandages firmly wrapped around a third of his torso. The redness of fading bruises still decorated many planes of his body, all which would have long ago faded if not for the shape-shifters' unique ability to cause more damaging injuries than normal. He damned them all as his hand went to his face, feeling the twin, parallel gashes that he'd received from Jacqueline's pitchfork.

"Those will be the worst, I think," murmured Kagome, as she closed the door again. She balanced a silver tray in one hand. "The other scars can be hidden so easily, but those will take forever to fade. I did try my best though."

"Superficial," he replied, only half-lying. "Not the worst physical reminders I've ever had of a battle."

"Chicks dig scars," she said with a smile.

"What do young fowl have to do with anything?"

She shook her head, laughing. "Never mind." She came forward and set the tray across his lap. "You shouldn't be sitting up at all with those cracked ribs, but as long as you are, have some soup. You've lost some weight, I think."

“Impossible. We remain unchanged. Not eating cannot harm me.â€

“Yeah, well, you look like Death warmed over, so you can humor me,†she said, pointing at his tray.

He ate carefully - lifting his arms sent short shocks of pain down his sides. Kagome set about straightening up the area on the left side of the bed, glancing up at him every few moments to check on him. "You sat with me," he said, counting the number of books she transferred to a shelf on the other side of the room.

"Of course," she replied. "Do you think that anyone in this time knows how to fix a collapsed lung? Or that you don't bleed someone dry if they have a fever? I had to make sure you were okay, Sesshoumaru."

"And your husband didn't mind?"

She paused for a long moment and finally slid the book into place with a hard shove. "I didn't know if you'd noticed," she murmured.

"If I had not noticed the large ruby on your hand, I could not miss how his scent permeates everything in this house. Including you."

Kagome looked down at her hand, twisting the gold-set ring from side to side. "I did wait, Sesshoumaru. But it was three years, and I didn't even feel that you were close by anymore. When you said you'd be right behind us, I never thought you meant eleven years."

"I intended to return sooner," he said.

"I know." She set her mouth and looked back at him. "But I couldn't wait any longer. It wasn't fair to him, and I didn't want to leave again. I love him. And Bastien loves me, too."

He nodded. "I have no doubt of that," he murmured. "Does he know about our unique situation?"

"No. For him, the only name I've ever had is Aurelie, and I am just the little sister of his dear friend Pierre Rousseau. I like it that way. He'll never know, if I can help it."

Leaning back against the pillows, he let his spoon drop into the half-empty bowl of broth. "And when you don't age? What will you say?"

"I don't have to say anything. I'll take care of it the same way none of the servants have run screaming from this room while you were unconscious and unable to disguise yourself. Shippo is getting very good at putting lasting concealment spells on other people," she answered with a shrug. She sighed. "It might not be normal, but it's as close as I can get."

He remembered Ranulf - it was more than a century ago, but the same arguments he had used against the wolf demon came to the tip of his tongue now. He quickly swallowed them. He had promised not to interfere, and it was pointless - she was already married and, in her eyes, as completely bound to the Frenchman as she would be to a youkai mate. "I cannot fault your choice," he said instead. "You look well."

She appeared startled but blushed prettily, smoothing the long column of fabric that fell from just beneath her breasts and that hid most of her figure. "Thank you for understanding, Sesshoumaru."

He realized that she really did look quite well - she was moving with a grace and confidence that he remembered from long before, and she had already smiled more in the last few minutes than in the entire time since Salem. He wanted nothing more than to bury himself beneath the covers again and forget that he had woken up at all, but he forced himself to speak again. "We did not have the opportunity to speak at length in Paris," he said. "What have you been doing since Tortuga?"

She lowered herself into the chair next to his bed once again. "Are you sure you want to hear about that?"

"Why would I not?"

"Well, you seemed to have taken things a bit harder than I would have imagined," she said, leaning forward and putting her elbows on the bed. "I heard that you told the women of your castle to learn how to defend themselves. You let Shippo go free instead of executing him. I got the impression that it had something to do with me and what happened. Not to mention that you wreaked some major havoc on Roger Vane's pirate ship. I heard about it, you know. Every port was talking about it for weeks."

He tried to shrug, but it was too painful. "You knew I would kill him. Your letter said as much."

Her eyes widened for a moment. "The letter. I'd almost forgotten about it." Her hand passed over her forehead. "Those days are still rather a blur for me." Still, she was looking at him with a warm gratitude that made him delight in the lengthy death of Roger Vane - a measure of delight he hadn't felt during the actual act. "I'm sorry about what I said to you on your ship, Sesshoumaru. I was unforgivably harsh. I know it wasn't your fault."

He didn't tell her that he'd kept the letter - that it was tucked away, along with Tenseiga and Tokijin, where the wet and the air could not easily touch it. "Your anger was understandable," he murmured.

"You're quite understanding these days, Sesshoumaru," she said with the beginnings of a smile.

"And you are happier."

"I've changed for the better again, I'd like to think," she replied.

"Perhaps I have as well," he said.

Her smile broadened. "We have a little while until you can really move around, you know. You have time to tell me about everything you've been up to lately. And I have time to tell you about what I've been doing." She slipped her shoes off and lifted her feet to the bed, clearly settling in for a long conversation.

He looked at her bright eyes and nodded. "I have not changed in any way that matters," he warned.

"I'll be the judge of that."

"Of course," he replied. "Shall I begin trying to convince you of my better intentions in life? Or will you begin with your nauseating tale of wedded bliss?"

She laughed. "You start, and we'll go from there."

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It became impossible to avoid her husband. Although Sesshoumaru managed to sleep for the large part of the next three days in between his long reminiscences with Kagome, the Christmas holiday bore down on him, forcing him to greet and thank the master of the house. Kagome led him to the front parlor where the spiced Yule log was burning and where the table had been set up for his own comfort for the meal. Her husband and Shippo had been waiting beside the fire.

Bastien Girard de Chevalier hadn't changed much in eleven years - he had regained the weight that the Paris prisons had taken away, but he had retained his military bearing, and his nose was just as prominent as ever. There were a couple streaks of gray in his brown hair, but he had hardly aged otherwise, despite lacking his wife's curse. He still gave the same look of longing to Kagome that Sesshoumaru had seen many years before, but now it was tempered with the air of satisfaction that a man had when he had achieved his most beloved desires and only looked forward to enjoying them for many years to come. Sesshoumaru was put right off his French-style Christmas pudding by the display of domesticity that he and Kagome put on at the table.

"My wife never did say why you were so close to Calais, my friend," said Bastien, towards the end of their holiday feast. "Was it to visit your two cousins?" He gestured across the table at Kagome and Shippo.

"I had some business here. I never knew that you had actually settled in this area," he replied.

"What luck that Pierre and Aurelie came across you on their morning ride, then," the other man said. "That highwayman would have robbed you of your life and not just your possessions. If only they had been a bit earlier, they could have saved both."

"I would never wish that fight upon them," murmured Sesshoumaru.

Bastien smiled. "Ah, but you would be in the hands of one of Napoleon's finest colonels if Pierre was with you. And you couldn't know it by looking at her, but Aurelie can defend herself quite ably as well."

The dog demon's gray eyes flickered towards Kagome. "I might have heard that," he said. "She is a marksman, if I remember correctly."

"One of the best I've seen," said Bastien with warmth in his voice, "but she is also a talented swordsman. I've been teaching her how to fence for some seven years now. She has bested me on a couple occasions."

"Rare occasions," Kagome interjected with a shy grin.

Sesshoumaru felt his teeth grinding together at the back of his jaw. "A swordsman as well," he said. He inclined his head at her when she met his eyes. "How unusual for a woman to be so conscientious of her own safety, and yet, how good it is that she not leave that safety up to a man's whims."

Bastien nodded. "When she asked for instruction, I was quite surprised," he admitted. "I hope my teachings are never used for their original purpose, of course. Aurelie knows that I will always be there to protect her."

The taiyoukai's eyes threatened to bleed red, and he looked down at his lap. "Of course," he replied.

The former commander shook his head. "Still, there might have been occasion for her to use her training on the day they found you. Pierre, we really need to do something about those dangerous men in this region. There are better ways to make a living."

Shippo lifted his green eyes to look at Sesshoumaru. The fox had strengthened Sesshoumaru's concealment spell with a touch when they had shaken hands in formal greeting earlier, but the niceties had ended there. They had barely acknowledged one another the entire meal. "There are some men too depraved to take the correct path, Bastien," he said, straightening his military coat.

Kagome cleared her throat, sending a short glare at the red-headed man that pretended to be her brother. "We should be more forgiving today of all days, Pierre."

The fox demon murmured something indistinct into his wine glass as he drained it.

"I would assume that the subprefect of the Calais district has other, more pressing matters to attend to than highwaymen," said Sesshoumaru.

Bastien shrugged. "It is my job to ensure not only that Napoleon has a functioning empire, but that the people in this district have a better life than what they have had in the past. We don't want recent history to be repeated, Monsieur Grosvenor." He put down his napkin. "As a part of that, I would like to offer to replace any property that you lost to the robbers, my friend."

Shippo spluttered. "Armand has enough money. I doubt my cousin wants charity."

"Whether or not that's true is of no consequence," replied Bastien smoothly. "It is not charity. It is the repayment of my debt to him for saving my life and for paying for the coach that spirited us away from Paris that day. I never had the chance to properly thank you for it, monsieur."

"My cousin is right," murmured the taiyoukai, ignoring the scowling fox. "I did not lose anything of importance. As for your debt, it is more than repaid with your hospitality during my recuperation."

"And you are welcome to stay as long as you'd like," said Bastien.

"I will not burden you with my presence for long," replied Sesshoumaru. "That is more than I should be asking."

He sighed lightly. "I wish I could convince you, but I saw immediately that you are a man firm in his convictions, even back in Paris. I suppose I must leave any settling of the debt to my wife's nursing skills. I confess that when we were at war during the Revolution, I was afraid for her life in the battlefront hospital, but I am now grateful for it. I have seen many fatal wounds, monsieur, and I did not think you would survive."

"Your wife," Sesshoumaru said, the words sticking in his throat, "is gifted."

Kagome's mouth opened in surprise, but she hid it carefully as Bastien reached for her hand. "I agree entirely," he said. "I have led a far more fortunate life than I could have guessed in that courtroom so many years ago, thanks largely to your assistance, monsieur. I hope you have fared as well?"

"I have achieved some of my purposes in this world. Others remain unfinished," Sesshoumaru replied vaguely. "But I have not been so blessed as you, no."

"Perhaps you should marry," Bastien said. "I have found that settles a restless man's heart more often than not. Something I try to convince Pierre of every day."

The two demons looked at one another, their eyes dark with different, angry memories. Kagome leaned towards her husband. "Bastien, perhaps they don't want to talk about that," she said gently. "Some men are not as suited to married life as you."

"You know many fine women who would make either one of these gentlemen good wives," replied the master of the house.

"I was married once," cut in Sesshoumaru, before Bastien could continue.

The others looked at him with some surprise. "Aurelie led me to believe you were a life-long bachelor," said Bastien.

"A life-long widower now," replied the taiyoukai, keeping his eyes fixed on his wine glass. "She was lost to me long ago, and I have no wish to replace her with any woman, unless God grants me a copy in every way."

Kagome caught her breath as her husband tilted back in his chair. "I am sorry for your loss, my friend. Forgive me. I see that she was your match," he said, as the long case clock in the corner began to chime the tenth hour.

"It's getting late," said the miko quickly, squeezing Bastien's hand. "Our guest still needs his rest."

Shippo huffed. "We should work on some of those reports anyway, Bastien. The war begins again tomorrow."

The tall, thin man pushed back from the table and got to his feet. "You're both right, of course." He bowed to his wife and his guest. "If you will excuse us?"

"I'll have some brandy sent in to you two in a bit," said Kagome mildly, as they left. "Alright. What was that business about having a wife?" she asked from across the table, as soon as the other two men were out of earshot.

"He will not bring up the subject again during my stay," replied Sesshoumaru.

She frowned. "That's the reason you said such a ridiculous thing?"

He considered her for a moment. "It also seemed to have brought the meal to a close. I was growing tired of their company."

"That's not very nice, Sesshoumaru. He's my husband. And Shippo is very dear to me," she said. "I was going to apologize for his coldness towards you, but now, I really don't see a need, if you're going to be rude."

"I don't want an apology. I understand his disposition. It is not often the exiled must sit at the same table as the exiler, let alone pretend they are kinsmen," replied Sesshoumaru.

She shrugged and rose to her feet, collecting the dishes. In her silk dress, with holly berries in her hair, it seemed unnatural that she should be doing such a menial chore. He reached out to stop her. "What's wrong?" she asked.

"Don't you have servants of your own now?" he asked.

"Force of habit," she said with a small smile. "Bastien doesn't like it either."

He withdrew his hand and stood up slowly. Underneath his borrowed clothing, the bandages stretched to accommodate his movement, even as his body protested. "You would not be my servant again," he said.

She stilled. "You mean, if I came with you?"

He nodded, taking the time to formulate his reply. "I am aware that I did not treat you well at times. I would attempt an improvement in that respect."

"That's nice to hear again, but you have to realize that I can't come with you, Sesshoumaru. I'm married. Happily so." She paused and came to his side. Snow was beginning to fall outside the window at the front of the room, melting as soon as it hit the ground. "And you didn't treat me too badly. Your cruelties were unintentional. I'd forgiven you long ago for those times. I've forgiven you for everything. You know that."

"Yes, I know," he replied.

She twisted her wedding ring and bit her lip. "And just because I married him doesn't mean that I don't want to travel with you again, but I can't. Not right now."

"You married him knowing that he will die before you. If you stay, you are hurting yourself."

Kagome turned to him. "You don't get it. It's worth it to me, Sesshoumaru. Even normal demons take mates with the knowledge that they might lose them at any moment. This is a real life; how real people live. Sometimes, you have to take chances."

"Our life was real."

Her eyes fluttered closed. "I know. It was dangerously real at times. But it wasn't enough for me."

A sharp pain went through his heart that had nothing to do with his lingering wounds. "And when you return, as I assume you plan to do, will it be enough? You were willing enough eleven years ago, despite what promise a future with this human male held for you."

"I do miss it," she murmured with a half-smile. "All those places we saw that were so beautiful and the people that we met that were so kind. It could be such an adventure sometimes." The smile faded away. "But sometimes, I hated how far we traveled from anything that felt like home. And I hated how you would disappear and keep secrets. I hated how alone I felt, even if I spoke the language perfectly. The times I felt truly happy were bright spots, but they were too few. That's what I mean, Sesshoumaru. That wasn't enough for me to be satisfied with my life, even if it was an exciting life to lead. This, here, is enough for me. I have friends. I have Bastien."

He remained silent, unsure of her answer and not wanting to ask again. She stepped closer to him, taking his hand in hers. He could feel the cold metal of her wedding ring against his skin. "But I do miss you," she added. "I will come back, Sesshoumaru. And I will never ask you to change, just so you know. I accepted who you were a long time ago. I just needed something different for awhile."

"You are on a holiday from me," he said.

Her brow furrowed. "No, I..." She stopped. "Well, maybe."

He remained silent, unsure of her answer and not wanting to ask again. "I think you're misunderstanding me. It's not like Tortuga," she said after a moment. "I don't want this life with Bastien to escape from you in particular, Sesshoumaru. I needed a break from the life you represent. While I've been away from you all these years, I've realized that this, with Bastien, is all that I can have. This is as close to a real, human life as I can get. This is what I needed, and I feel more like myself again. Does that make sense?"

"No, not really," he replied.

She smiled sadly. "I'm not sure if it makes sense to me either. I just know that it has little to do with you. You are the perfect Lord Sesshoumaru, and I knew that when we met in London. But there are some things that I may never get while I'm with you, and I needed to have them, while I still could. That means we spend some time apart, I guess. Who knows what will happen to us? I couldn't waste another chance."

"I understand your choice, as I have said earlier," said the taiyoukai. "I have no right to order you to travel with me when you would rather live this life."

She clutched at his hand. "But I do want you to stay, Sesshoumaru, because I will be ready to travel with you again."

"I cannot stay here," the taiyoukai said. "You are married. It would be inappropriate."

"Oh, I know. I meant..." She trailed off again and let out a soft chuckle. "I'm not sure what I meant there either. I'm getting all confused. I thought I knew what I wanted. And I do know, but maybe not with as much confidence as I thought." She shook her head. "It's hard to say what I mean to say."

"I will not go where you cannot find me," he murmured, extricating himself from her grasp.

She looked up at him. "You will? Where is that?"

"I have depleted much of my European resources in order to follow the shape-shifter in the past eleven years. I never stayed in one place long enough to settle upon another trade or business. I will do so now. Not in Calais, but I will always be available to you. And I will visit on occasion." He glanced around the room with its holly garlands draped over every available surface. "On Christmas Day, perhaps?"

Kagome frowned. "Just the one day?" she asked. When he gave her a firm nod, she sighed. "Then, you'll be farther than you say, I think. What will you do?"

"I have not decided."

"Bastien could..."

"No," he cut her off smoothly. "I have never required help before in this matter."

"Things haven't been going as well for you lately," she said, calling to mind the stories he had told her during his three days of convalescence. Although he had attempted to temper the harsh conditions in the tales of his wanderings, many of which included going without shelter or water for days in pursuit of Jacqueline, Kagome had realized the truth quickly. To his surprise, she had not concentrated on his lack of creature comforts, but on the loneliness she was convinced he felt. And while he had had a certain longing for company - for her company - during his travels, it disturbed him how easily she had picked out that solitude in his voice. "You can ask for what you need."

"I was fine," he said again, for the hundredth time. "I am capable of earning my own living, Kagome. Without assistance from Girard de Chevalier."

She sighed. "Alright," she murmured. "I wish you would let us help you, but I understand why you don't want to."

He shook his head. "Your husband may not know it, but he has already repaid me," he murmured. "You are becoming quite skilled, Kagome. I don't feel as if I have to be as preoccupied with your safety when I am gone. A sharpshooter already, and now, he has made you into a swordsman."

"I thought that would kind of bother you. You didn't like it when Ranulf taught me just the basics, and this is even worse," she said. "Some other man - a human, no less - teaching me what you're best at? I'm surprised you didn't hit the roof."

The ire he had felt earlier boiled up again in his stomach, but he pushed the feeling aside. "I should have been the one to teach you," he said, "but I am pleased that you have learned in any way possible. At this point, you are probably more dangerous to the shape-shifters than I am. You proved that by killing the shape-shifter I had hunted for eleven years without success."

"I came up on her when she was kind of preoccupied, Sesshoumaru. It was luck. You're still the Killing Perfection," she said with a smirk.

For some reason, from her, the sentiment was unwelcome. "Yes, I am very good at destroying lives," he replied darkly.

Her eyes widened. "That's not what I meant, Sesshoumaru." She grasped his wrist. "You're very good at protecting what is yours."

She probably wasn't listening to her own words - she surely was not his. Of course, he had not done a very good job of protecting her either. He carefully extricated himself from her grasp and shook the grim thoughts off before they could infect his stolen moments with her. "Yes, of course," he agreed mildly. He crossed to the table and plucked an unused knife from the place setting. "Show me your swordsmanship."

"With a butter knife?" she laughed.

"Considering my condition, I would not risk arming you with a fork," he replied dryly. His free hand ghosted over the two scars on his face as he put the knife into her hands.

"I wouldn't hurt you," she said with a tilt of her head.

"I know," he replied. He gestured towards himself. "Come and attack me."

She settled into the beginning stance with unconscious ease. "This is such a bad place to do this. Something is going to get broken," she said with a smile, balancing most of her weight on her back foot.

"I certainly don't care," he replied.

"You're incorrigible," she laughed. "Now, get ready."

As soon as she lunged forward, he could see how accomplished she had become. Her movements were fluid and practiced but didn't lack the strength necessary to get the job done. For all of the unjust anger he felt towards Bastien Girard de Chevalier, he was apparently a gifted swordsman and a good teacher. Sesshoumaru knew that he possessed only the first quality and not the second - Kagome would not have flourished like this under his tutelage. Again, the taiyoukai felt a grudging appreciation for the man that was keeping Kagome from her travels with him.

He easily blocked her attacks, of course - no human could move as quickly as a demon, and she was being more cautious than necessary for the sake of her furniture and for his health. "You are very good," he said.

"It doesn't feel like it at the moment," she complained, as he blocked another parry.

He caught her wrist and spun her around. The knife fell the floor as she was pulled up against his chest. "Perhaps not good enough quite yet to take me on as your opponent," he murmured over her shoulder. "But I hope that you do not hold back like that when you are truly practicing."

She turned her head and looked up at him. "No," she answered. Her silky rope of hair was unraveling from its delicate coil and falling across his collar bone. "But it seems I'm not as dangerous as you thought."

"You could kill me now, if you wished," he said. She was so close, and she smelled so familiar and comforting. He took a surreptitious breath to inhale the scent of her hair, instead of burying his nose in her neck, as he wanted to do. "You have been practicing your other skills, I would hope?"

“Naturally,†she replied.

"Then, I will continue to practice my own swordsmanship, and together, we will make a formidable team. It is two against two now." Slowly and reluctantly, he released her wrist and let it fall back to her side.

She kept close to him as she turned to face him again. "I hadn't thought of that. I suppose it is." She frowned suddenly. "Unless they come after just one of us while we're separated."

"We have already determined that you are capable of protecting yourself," he murmured. "As for myself, I have been neglecting the opportunities that you have taken advantage of. I will learn how to use firearms more accurately. They seem to be fast becoming the preferred method of killing. I have had no reason to engage myself seriously in their study before, but it seems they force themselves upon me." He gestured to his hidden bandages.

"You have no idea." Her fingers brushed over his wound, still sensitive, at the base of ribcage. "In my time, there are bullets that explode inside the body. There are some that rip through the body so fast that they leave holes the size of an orange. Some rip through thick sheets of metal. They have..."

"Hush," he murmured, putting a hand on her shoulder. "We will get to those weapons in time. I will concentrate on what I can learn at this moment. Perhaps I will join your Emperor Napoleon's forces."

“Then, you might go very far away from me,†she murmured.

“I travel quickly, if you should need me.†He paused again, watching the flash of panic cross her face. "It will not be a large risk for me to take, Kagome."

She sighed, looking up at him. "I know, but you really could have died this time, Sesshoumaru. And, as you have often reminded me, we're not absolutely sure what can kill us and what can't. It pains me every time I have to send Shippo off to war, and it's why Bastien decided to take this job as subprefect," she said. "Even if those awful kinds of bullets and weapons don't exist yet, please don't forget that humans are getting ever more efficient with the ways they kill one another. And remember that Napoleon eventually loses. He doesn't die well, Sesshoumaru. I want you to come back to me safe."

"I will come back, but I am leaving for the time being."

"Well, you can write, in the meantime," she said with a shaky smile.

He couldn't stop himself from lifting his hand to her cheek and brushing his thumb across her soft skin. He wondered how often she had said words to the same effect to her husband or to the fox demon when she had sent them off to the front lines. And he wondered whether her wish for his safety was more akin with her wish for Bastien's or for Shippo's safety. "I will write," he promised.

She seemed as if she wanted to say more, but just as her mouth opened to speak, he was forced to let his hand fall and step back. When she looked askance at his retreat, a footstep on the creaky floorboards outside the room alerted her to what he already had sensed. "Still awake, my friend?" Bastien asked, stepping into the parlor. He carried a fresh candle, and Sesshoumaru realized that many of the others in the room had burned down their wicks.

Kagome bent over and picked up the fallen knife. "We were talking about years past," she said. The lie tumbled off her tongue with ease - she must have gotten used to the mountain of untruths she had had to give to him over the years. She lifted a hand up to her head. "But my impossible hair has come free. I think that's a sign for me to go to bed, Bastien."

"Of course, my dear," he replied.

She flashed them both a quick grin. "And I think I'll let the servants take care of the dishes tonight," she said, dropping the knife back onto the table. She dipped a small curtsy. "Merry Christmas to you both," she said.

The two men bowed her out of the room and caught each other's eyes as they straightened. "Was there something I could do for you?" asked Sesshoumaru after a short pause.

"May I join you?" Bastien asked, his face serious.

"Of course," he lied. He moved to one of the two armchairs sitting in front of the fire and waited for the human to take the other.

Bastien stared up at the holly wreath hanging over the hearth. "Two meetings between us and two lives saved, my friend," he murmured. "It seems that my wife is a good luck charm for us both."

Over the years, he had become accustomed to answering Kagome's unasked questions, knowing that she would only pester him if he didn't. He was not, however, as inclined to speak freely with her husband. He remained silent, looking into the fire as Bastien shifted restlessly. The former commander seemed to be deciding upon something, and Sesshoumaru would not fill up the pregnant pause with chatter, as Kagome would do.

He finally settled into the chair, although Sesshoumaru could smell the anxiety that flowed underneath his seemingly relaxed posture. "You know," began Bastien, "Pierre wouldn't let me meet Aurelie for some time. He was so concerned for her, and I endured such rigorous questioning about my character until he was satisfied that I would not upset her, even in the slightest. He took such care before introducing us that I almost feel that I loved her before I met her. Surely, a woman so beloved and protected by her brother is a rare and wonderful creature."

"Or deeply troubled," muttered Sesshoumaru.

Bastien almost smiled. "The thought had crossed my mind, of course, that she was some horrific curiosity Pierre sought to protect from the cruel world." He shook his head. "But when I met her, she was pure beauty in all respects."

Sesshoumaru arched an eyebrow. "In all respects?"

The smile broadened in memory. "Yes. I am not blind to her differences, my friend. I noticed how exotic she looked from the moment we met, but Aurelie has a way of looking past those things that might set you apart." He touched his large nose and laughed softly.

"And you did the same for her," said the taiyoukai.

"I know that is not her sole, unique quality," said Bastien. "Beautiful as she was, it took me some time to recover from meeting such a woman. You called her gifted, so you know. She could already shoot a fly out of the air, and she was far more educated than you would guess of a farmer's daughter. And, of course, she speaks at least one foreign language that I have never heard before with her brother. A language I have heard you speak as well."

Sesshoumaru glanced up at him and saw the severity in his face. "That is something you must discuss with your wife."

Bastien's expression softened again as he shook his head. "You misunderstand. I have complete faith in Aurelie. Asking someone for the knowledge that they deliberately keep from you is futile, my friend. They usually have good reasons for keeping their secrets. I trust that she does, and I would never ask her or anyone else to speak of them, unless by choice," he said. "I was a military man, as you remember. I am accustomed to having secrets kept from me."

"Then, what is your purpose in bringing up such a matter? Surely, it is not such a troubling thing that three cousins speak one language, even if it is different."

"I know it's not Russian. That's all that matters," Bastien said, smiling faintly. "Even then, I would not care. Only my superiors would. The Russians are not quite defeated yet, as you well know, but I am certain that Aurelie's loyalties lie with France."

Sesshoumaru fell back to his silence, considering the bearing of the man across from him. In some ways, he had looked more sure of himself in front of the fatal jury in Paris than he did at this moment. The seriousness of the military had suited the human male. His smiles, which still made his prominent nose all the more noticeable, seemed to be reserved only for his wife and for uneasy situations. He had been smiling quite a lot that evening. "If you have a question to ask me," he said at last, "then, ask it."

"I sat down with the object of learning more about my guest," said the other male. "Instead, I have talked about myself. Forgive me, but you must understand that everything I have said tonight, especially considering the debt I feel that I still owe to you, was sincere."

"I do not doubt it," replied Sesshoumaru.

"Then, you will know why the question I have avoided asking for so long is such a difficult one to ask, when you hear it," he said. He looked back into the fire for a moment, a frown deepening the lines on his face that Sesshoumaru had not noticed before. "Aurelie loves me."

Sesshoumaru scowled. "Yes, I am aware of that."

"I must ask you," continued Bastien, as if the taiyoukai had not spoken, "how you managed to have her love you even more?"

Whatever he had expected, it was not that. Sesshoumaru leaned against the chair's back and stared for a moment. "I am uncertain of your meaning, since I do not think that she does," he said slowly.

The other man turned to face him again. "Aurelie refused to become my wife for three years after we left Paris," he said. "She waited for you for that long, and only when it was clear that you were not coming back for her did she agree to marry me."

"She is my cousin," Sesshoumaru said. "Nothing more."

Bastien shook his head and gave him a wry smile. "I do not care if I am the second choice for a woman so beautiful and generous, monsieur. And you, I know, are a great man. She speaks of you with admiration, and I have seen nothing that doesn't support that. You saved my life, after all."

"And what do you expect me to say?" said Sesshoumaru. "Aurelie's reasons are her own, and that is only if you're correct in measuring the depth of her feelings. She loves more freely than you or me. You misjudge her sentiments for her long-absent cousin."

"Aurelie speaks so fondly of you," replied Bastien, "but from what Pierre has told me..."

"Ah," interrupted the dog demon. "I see. You are trying to understand why your wife could possibly love a man that is, by her brother's account, the precise opposite of her husband."

"I wouldn't say precise opposite," said the other man, raising an eyebrow. "Neither does Pierre."

"I won't ask what our supposed similarities are," muttered Sesshoumaru. He watched Bastien for many moments. "Very well. I still believe that you should ask your wife, but I will tell you the only thing that I know. Aurelie and I have suffered through many trials together. We have suffered together even when we have been apart. I know that Aurelie would never wish the circumstances of our attachment upon anyone, least of all her husband. And while she and I might share that bond beyond what she can share with any husband, she shares more with you. Do not seek the love she has for me. It will only make the both of you miserable."

Bastien sat in silence, studying the taiyoukai. "You are a better man than I thought, Monsieur Grosvenor," he said finally.

Sesshoumaru frowned and turned to the fire, letting its light color his eyes their natural color. "I am better for her sake. Not my own."

Kagome's husband stood up slowly. "I thank you, monsieur, for your honesty. May I ask one more question of you?"

"Yes," replied Sesshoumaru, not begrudging him this time.

"The wife you spoke of at dinner," he said, "was it my Aurelie?"

"Aurelie," began the taiyoukai with a small, ironic smirk, "is not and never has been my wife. She is only yours."

Bastien gave a solemn nod and bowed. "Thank you, monsieur. I will leave you to..."

"Wait," said Sesshoumaru. "I have a question of my own. It is of a personal nature."

The former commander sat down again. "Ask, by all means. You have been forthright enough in your answers that I have no shame in mine."

"Why do you not have children with Aurelie?"

For the first time since they had met, a flash of pain passed over Bastien's face. "Not for lack of wanting one with all of our hearts," he replied quietly. "God has not blessed us with even the hope of a child in this house. Although, I suppose that's better than having a child snatched away from us in his youth."

Sesshoumaru remembered Rin. "There is no greater pain than losing a child," he agreed.

"It would have warmed this cold house," said Bastien. "Aurelie is alone so often with only the servants for company. It will be even more difficult when we leave this place, where she has made friends, when I take up a higher position in the government. With the loss at Trafalgar, Calais is no longer at the center of the emperor's plans, and we must go elsewhere. A child would soften the loss of what has become her home." He sighed. "I answered your question freely, monsieur, but I do ask that you not discuss any of this with my wife."

"It weighs heavily on her heart, I would imagine," Sesshoumaru murmured. Kagome had always loved the children in the many places they had lived.

"Yes, it does," said Bastien. "When I first met her, she was not the joyful woman you see today. Pierre was much the same. Perhaps you saw them then, but they have never spoken of it to me. I always had the impression that they had both lost someone dear to them. It is only when the impossibility of children comes up in conversation that Aurelie reverts to that sadness she had all those years ago. I do not like to see it in her face."

"And I will never hurt her by mentioning it," said the taiyoukai.

"I thank you again for that, monsieur."

There was a long moment of silence, until Sesshoumaru lifted his eyes to the subprefect's face. "I would have you call me Armand," he said, stretching out his hand. "We are kin, after all."

Bastien gave a short laugh through his nose. "Yes, we are," he replied, reaching across and grasping Sesshoumaru's hand in his.

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A/N: Just a couple notes on this one. First, a subprefect is a governor of sorts over one of the sub-districts of France. There are 100 districts (called departments) and 342 sub-districts (called arrondissements) of France right now - in Napoleon's time, of course, that number was a lot more variable, depending on what he controlled at any given moment. Calais is the town closest to England in France, so it was a rather important place to be subprefect back when Napoleon was planning to invade England.

Second, the Battle of Trafalgar is mentioned - it was the greatest British naval victory of the Napoleonic Wars and effectively stopped Napoleon's plans to invade England (and thus made Calais a lot less important). He never recovered from the loss he took to his French navy. Of course, the British suffered the loss of Admiral Lord Horatio Nelson in the battle - he's now regarded as one of Britain's greatest heroes. You can see his column with a statue of him on top in London's Trafalgar Square, which is one of my favorite places on Earth.

You'll hear more about the Napoleonic Wars in the next chapter, if that's your cup of tea. ;)