InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Best Benefits of Friendship ❯ Best Benefits of Friendship ( Chapter 1 )

[ Y - Young Adult: Not suitable for readers under 16 ]

Best Benefits of Friendship

By ClosetAnimeLover

Disclaimer: I don't Inuyasha

I have a boyfriend; I shouldn't be thinking about sex with someone else, especially not my best friend, Inuyasha. Its unexplainable, my boyfriend is the type of man I would want to have sex with, but whenever I think about sex I always see Inuyasha. I want him to do me in the back of a car or anywhere really. I want him to be first.

Inuyasha and I are friends and only friends; we can't make a relationship work between us. We like other people and yet we will tell each other secrets that no one else knows. One of our favorites being sexual fantasies, almost every conversation we have turns to sex. He's the only one that I can tell; I don't trust anyone but him.

He's always known where I stood on friends with benefits, I want it and he doesn't, but that doesn't eliminate sex as an option. We may not love each other but we are attracted to each other

For prom he and I took separate dates, but like it made any difference in the end. He took his ex girlfriend, Kikyo, he was in love with her but I was glad that they broke up, I couldn't share him with someone else. He looked ridiculous in his tux. It didn't fit right; it being not long enough for his arms and too round around the middle. I'm sure it was the best that he could afford, but I couldn't help but get the feeling that he would rather be in jeans and a sweatshirt.

I picked my dress for him, to make sure that he would only look at me all night. I wanted his entire attention, which is why I choose the dress that best suits my ass. He's an ass man so I gave him an ass. I watched him and his date take their pictures; they looked better together than I did with him.

We arrived at the prom; I didn't even notice the decorations I just wanted the excuse to dance with him.

Finally the music started and I made my first move. He was sitting on the side, he never liked dances, but I looked him straight in the eye and he had no choice but to follow. We didn't say a word to each other, that would ruin it; he just stood behind me and started to move. I didn't care what song was on, music was just an excuse.

I back up against him until my ass was pressed solidly against him. I didn't want to grind into him; I just wanted to press against him until I could feel his hard-on through his pants. When he put his hands on my hips I couldn't help but push back against him, resulting in him tightening his grip. His mouth was by my ear and I could feel his hot breath but I couldn't kiss him, not with so many people watching. I was getting wet dancing with him, I sure he knew since I wasn't wearing underwear and his hands migrated from my hips to upper thighs.

At the same time we noticed our dates looking for us, silently we both separated enough to make it appear like a friendly dance. He still loved his ex; he didn't want to ruin any chance of getting back together with her. It killed me that he loves her so much, I didn't love him, but that doesn't mean I wanted him to love someone else. My date didn't dance so I just watched him.

I couldn't help but think about my boyfriend during the whole ordeal, I felt guilty that I was lusting over someone else, but he wasn't there so he couldn't stop me. Eventually the guilt did enough to make me look away. I talked with friends the whole night pretending to be interested in the seniors, but only one person was catching my eye.

We saw each other only briefly for the rest of the night. Any contact we had was scripted small talk. His only talked to me when she was gone, which thankfully for me was almost the entire night. He was just an emergency prom date. Her boyfriend of five months, Naraku, dumped her two weeks before prom so she called her human lap dog; like he would ever turn down the chance. I felt furious at her for using him like that.

I was desperate to dance with him again so when a slow song came I couldn't fight it and grabbed his hand and moved to the dance floor. I couldn't look him in the face; it wasn't lustful grinding, it was coherent interaction and that changed the dynamics of everything. I could feel him looking around, looking for her. Chanting `I don't care' didn't work, especially when I knew that I did.

He eventually relaxed against me and we just danced. No sexual undertones, no naughty behavior that needed to be hidden; this was the gray area of our relationship and I felt like it was swallowing me whole. I may not have loved him but I did need him. The song ended and he started to move away. I'd reached complete desperation, grabbed his shirt, leaned up to his ear and whispered, “Meet me at Shrine Hill”.

My courage gave out and I had to get away before he could say anything. If I heard him ask why, I'd break and lose all composure.

I didn't see him for the rest of the night. It seemed so much easier in my head before the dance, I thought that once I finally said it that it wouldn't affect me at all, but all I could do was second guess everything I'd done all night. So we loaded the buses to head back to the school and I was silent the entire way.

Once we reached the parking lot I started walking to my car and noticed that his car was already gone. I wanted him to be at Shrine Hill, but I was hoping that he wasn't because if he was, well I just didn't know if I'd be able to deal with the consequences, I wasn't strong enough.

Shrine Hill is about 4 miles from the school, with nothing but desert surrounding it. There isn't much to it, just a broken down house and a few burnt cars surrounding it. I think it gets its name from when a kid died out here from a snakebite, likely story if you ask me.

His car was parked outside and he wasn't in it. He was waiting inside and I knew that I was going to have to walk in to him. It would have been easier if I had been first, then I could at least pretend that I wasn't ready to break down and cry but I'm pretty sure that my face was giving away every emotion that I possessed. He knew I was there, the headlights were a dead give away. I walked up the porch, clicking my heels the whole way. It sounded ridiculous. I was tempted to take them off, but they'd be off soon enough.

When I opened the door I saw him sitting on an empty crate, hanging his head. I couldn't take another step, I wanted to, but it just didn't seem appropriate. In all honesty I wanted to run out the door back to my car so I could drive home, believing that this was a dream. I may have set this up but I was no longer in control, he was. My breath froze when he stood up. His head was still down but he walked towards me, stopping just out of my reach. Like always, he was at the same place as me, but never with me.

I just stared at him until he raised his head, staring right back at me. Every breath seemed rushed, like there wasn't enough air in the room. We just stared at each other until I felt so awkward that I would've rather been anywhere else in the world. Then, he moved towards me again. Close enough that we both moved he barely brushed his lips against mine. I understand he wasn't a tease; it's hesitation. If went through with this, it'd be for real, but I was tired of consequences and deepened the kiss.

He grabbed my hips and pulled me to him probing my entire mouth with his tongue. It's funny, even then we thought the same; the best way to get rid of your conscience is to drown it in instinct. It got rougher with every kiss until kissing wasn't enough. He kissed down my neck until he found my pulse and suckled, God, it felt so good. I couldn't remain idle; my hands pulled the shirt out of his pants until I could run my hands up and down his stomach. He then scrambled for the zipper of my dress.

After that, coherent thought was lost until I found myself lying on the floor with him hovering over me. We hadn't said anything to each other the entire night until he broke the silence.

“Ready Kagome?”

God I wish I knew. How do you know? Honestly I wasn't at all but I was too stubborn to say no.

“Yes”

I looked straight into his eyes, eyes that were as unsure as mine. After all, he was a virgin too. Somehow that calmed my nerves, knowing that he didn't know what to expect either. Then I felt the pain. God it did hurt but I wasn't about to cry out, that would have broken everything and after all this I just wanted to get it over with. Everything swept over us until we were just left panting on the floor with him on his back, me lying on his chest.

I should have said something then. Anything at all. What's your favorite color? But I couldn't, I was terrified. What if this ruined everything we had. Could our friendship survive this? We didn't love each other, hell he was still hooked on Kikyo, but I had had him first. Somehow I knew that if we started talking, too much would be said and I would lose him. I felt him inhale as if to say something. My entire body filled with dread about what he would say but the other part was relieved that something was going to be said. But nothing was said; we both just closed our eyes and went to sleep, silently willing sleep to fix everything.

I woke up first. Every memory of the night before rushed at me and I turned and looked at him. I just stared at him; I didn't have the heart to wake him up.

I didn't realize that I was crying until I felt the water working its way down my cheek. Then the panic started. What on earth was I going to say to him when he woke up? I could handle it, so I put on my clothes and knelt next to him. I remembered every time we had spent together. He was my best friend, I may not love him but I did care for him. I had to say something even if he never heard it.

“I'm sorry Inuyasha. Goodbye.”

I walked as carefully to my car as possible and then drove as fast as I could. Every damn thing I drove by reminded me of him. I couldn't stay in that town, I had to get away. I bought a train ticket to some city, I don't even remember any more. I pretended that I could see Shrine Hill and see him one last time before I left for real.

`I think I could have loved you if we had a chance.' I couldn't look anymore; I boarded the train and never saw that town again.

Now I'm married. A soccer mom to my two boys and a homemaker. I still think about him sometimes. It doesn't hurt anymore; the past is the past and nothing more. I've heard through mutual friends that he did indeed marry his ex girlfriend. I think they have kids, not sure though. I don't have time to waste on him; my kid's sandwiches take enough effort. My mother-in-law is coming over today, swear that women hates me. Not to mention my husband has a business partner coming over, some new idiot who will get a promotion faster than my husband. Damn.

They both come in and as I turn I see him. Of all the people in the entire world it had to be him. He looks good I won't lie about that. He looks as shocked as I do I'm sure. A thousand questions answered in the span of seconds with those looks. I just keep staring in utter disbelief until I snap out of it when my husband finished with the introductions. His eyes go to my husband and then to me.

“Hi” That's it? After everything, all I get is a hi? I feel like I should be furious. Hi didn't address our past together. It didn't even begin to compare to the conversation we should have had at rattlesnake. So I say the only thing I can think of back.

“Hi”

Right then I knew that I could have loved him.