InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Betrayal of the Soul ❯ Love and Lust ( Chapter 4 )

Love and Lust

Kagome didn't understand where she was, she couldn't control her body and there were thoughts in her mind that weren't hers. Suddenly the thoughts in her head took complete control. She looked over at the man next to her, and then over to her discarded robes. She sighed and left his side and quickly dressed and left before the hanyo woke. She had managed to steal another jewel shard from him while he slept. She had not originally intended to fuck him this time it just happened. She knew if she only did it once or twice, he would figure out she was deceiving him, so she would come to him periodically. Her body felt so stiff as she walked from the castle, she needed new souls, and her soul collectors had not brought her a new soul for a long time. This was ridiculous people die all the time. She continued walking when she came upon a young girl sitting next to a dropped basket with fruit spread out, most likely they rolled out of the basket when she dropped it. The young girl recognized the dress of a miko and looked at her pleadingly.

"Please help me, I stepped into a rut on the path and lost my balance, it's badly twisted and I can't walk on it" the girl begged politely. The girl looked so lost and scared. Twisting her ankle and falling into the ground like that, probably been afraid that a demon would find her first.

"You poor thing" She said with pretend concern.

`What luck, I have been in need of a soul' She placed her hands on the girls' ankle and sent a wave of energy through the girl. The girl screamed and brought her hands to her neck. Her eyes were wide with fear and no air was going into her gaping mouth. The girls body began to twitch, as quickly as it started, her limbs went limp and her eyes rolled back into her skull. The soul began to leave her and a soul collector swooped down and transferred it to her body.

`No… stop this' Kagome silently begged her mind and body

"NOOO" Kagome screamed jolting awake. Sesshoumaru woke up and grabbed her immediately. Kagome leaned against him and sobbed. Sesshoumaru unsure what had happened attempted to soothe her.

"What did you dream?" he asked still holding her.

"I… I was… someone else…I was watching parts of Kikyo's memory, but I was experiencing them as if I was Kikyo" Kagome said, her body shaking. Sesshoumaru tensed when he thought back to what Kagome told him.

"Which memories" Sesshoumaru asked.

"It was a morning…she was laying with Naraku, she was thinking how she hadn't intended to be with him that night, then she left while he slept. She was stiff and angry with her soul collectors for not bringing her souls. While she was walking she came upon a girl who had fallen and hurt her ankle, the girl couldn't walk. She recognized the dress of a miko and asked for help. Kikyo pretended she was going to help her and placed her hands upon the girls' ankle…. And… instead of helping her... She killed her and took her soul." Kagome clutched to Sesshoumaru burying her face in his protective embrace. Kagome was terrified that these nightmares would return to her if she went back to sleep.

Inu Yasha remained with his back turned to Kikyo; he could not look at her. She continued to sob behind him. All he could feel was disgust with her, and with himself. He had pushed Kagome away for this.

"Inu Yasha" Kikyo whimpered.

"Just fucking shut up" Inu Yasha screamed. Kikyo shriveled at his words and crawled backwards away from him.

Kagome and Sesshoumaru both looked towards the sound of Inu Yasha's voice. Kagome's face darkened… "He doesn't get it" she whispered before running off into the trees. Sesshoumaru slowly stood up and made his way back towards Inu Yasha, where Kagome was heading. He was very curious what it was that she meant by her words.

"please…" She begged again, but he still would not turn to look at her. Inu Yasha knew that he should leave, just walk away. But something in him wouldn't let him move.

"Inu Yasha…"

"SHUT UP" He screamed rounding on her. His body was heaving with anger and he was sure if tessaiga weren't at his hip, he would have transformed.

"INU YASHA" Kagome screamed as she raced towards them. Inu Yasha's eyes widened at the sound of her voice.

"Kagome" he whispered.

She skidded to a halt in front of Kikyo. She completely ignored the other woman's presence and looked into Inu Yasha's eyes.

`Kagome, what have I done' Inu Yasha thought.

"You don't understand" Kagome said out of breath.

"Don't understand what"

"This is the real Kikyo, the one from before Naraku deceived you, forced to remember what her soul less dead form had done"

Inu Yasha looked down at Kikyo, the real Kikyo. He still felt disgust, but at the same time despair, the Kikyo he loved was now living with the horror of actions that were not really hers. She was lying on the ground huddled in a ball trembling. He fell to his knees and lifted her face to look into hers. Kagome was right. There were no words to describe the look on Kikyo's face. He forced himself to ignore the repulsive feelings in his gut and slid his arms under her and lifted her into his lap. Her shaking diminished slightly but she turned her face away from his in shame.

"She's going to need you" Kagome said sadly, knowing how hard this would be for him. She would find a way to help them, somehow, she would help them. Sesshoumaru stood in the trees watching, despite her disgust and hatred of the woman, Kagome was there helping her. The look in her eyes was that of pity for the hanyo and his woman. Kagome would consult with Midoriko somehow, she would ask her for help. Kagome knew that Sesshoumaru was there and watching, so she wouldn't have to explain why she had left so suddenly. She heard him turn and walk away and ran after him. She returned to their camp but he wasn't there.

"Sesshoumaru?" she called. No answer.

"Sesshoumaru?" She called louder. No answer.

"SESSHOUMARU!!!" she yelled. Nothing… Kagome sighed and sat down. If he wasn't coming back, it was because he didn't want to. She would not go and look for him. She laid down on her side and curled up as tightly as possible to keep out the cold. She didn't want to go back there with her there, but she didn't like being alone. She began to shiver and wondered why it was Sesshoumaru had left like that. Kagome gasped when a blanket was gently tossed over her. She turned around to look up at Sesshoumaru's stone gaze.

"This will be more efficient" he said as he joined her under the blanket. Not entirely sure what compelled her to, Kagome propped herself up on her elbow and looked into Sesshoumaru's eyes. The one place that had begun to reveal his true emotions to her despite his obvious attempts to hide that he held emotions.

"Sessho-"

Unable to hold back anymore, Sesshoumaru grabbed Kagome by the shoulders and pulled her down and pressed his lips against hers. Kagome's eyes widen by the sudden actions of Sesshoumaru, but instinct kicked in and she closed her eyes, returning the kiss. She could feel her youkai blood heat, her needs for Sesshoumaru screaming. She could smell his arousal and knew he could smell hers. She needed this tonight, more than ever, and she prayed he would not deny her. Sesshoumaru rolled them over so that his body was over hers. He brought his hand over her mark and deepened the kiss. Kagome eagerly kissed back, anxious for more. Her fingers clumsily struggled with his robes, her mind hazy with desire. Sesshoumaru attempted to remove her clothes, but they were foreign to him, and he knew she was having trouble with his. So he lifted his weight from her and removed his clothes while she removed her own. Despite the dark, their strong youkai eyes were able to see perfectly. Sesshoumaru fought to keep his blood under control when he saw her. It was not the first time he had seen her naked, but this time was different, better. His hands explored her body while he chastely went back to kissing her. Kagome's hands gripped his back at the feelings his hands were eliciting. She couldn't take this anymore.

"Please" she begged as she pulled away from the kiss. Sesshoumaru had intended to wait longer and tease her more, but his mate had asked and he would give her what she desired. Very slowly he entered her, very aware of her innocence. She cried in pain as he filled her, tears falling from her eyes. Sesshoumaru's heart stopped when he saw the look on her face. He knew that the first time for a woman was painful, but he was not prepared for the look on her face. He brought his lips to hers and kissed her gently, waiting for her to tell him to continue. She gave him no spoken permission, she just pushed her hips against his. Acknowledging her movement he began to rock against her, a soft moan escaped her lips, and he was positive her body had adjusted. He slowly thrusted in and out of her body, he placed his hands firmly on her hips and moved faster. He was so absorbed in her sounds and the pleasure he was feeling, that he wasn't prepared for Kagome to suddenly sink her fangs into his marking spot as she climaxed. He gasped and stopped as she tightened around him, His mind foggy from the mixed feelings of pain and pleasure. Her claws dug into his back as he continued to move in her, unable to hold back anymore, he increased the power and sped of his thrusts and finished in her. He rolled off of her and pulled her to him quickly falling asleep from exhaustion. Sleep took Kagome soon after Sesshoumaru.

Inu Yasha had left Kikyo as soon as she fell asleep in the hut. He had been wandering the forest deep in thought when he heard Kagome cry. He rushed to make sure that she was all right, but the smell of her arousal mixed with Sesshoumaru's hit him before they came into sight. He could her moaning and secretly wished that it was him and not Sesshoumaru causing those sounds. He had dreams with her making those sounds. Yet they were nowhere near as amazing as the ones she made now, sounds his brother brought from her. He watched as Kagome screamed and bit down on his brothers marking spot, it was complete now. Unable to watch anymore, he turned and went back to Kikyo. He knew she would panic if he were not there when she woke. He quietly crept back into her hut, and heard small sobs from where she lay, he rushed to her side to find her asleep.

`Most likely nightmares from her own memories' he thought to himself. Again his stomach turned in repulsion as he lay down next to her and wrapped his arms around her. He supposed one day, he would lose the urge to vomit from touching her. He had to admit, that while she slept, she looked just like Kagome. Kagome was his once…now she belonged to his brother, and his brother belonged to her. He… he had Kikyo, who had been with Naraku, his mortal enemy, her mortal enemy. The feeling in his stomach tightened and he forced himself to only think about Kikyo from before that day. It was easier to be with her when he remembered that woman. He felt Kikyo stir in his arms and turn.

"Inu Yasha?" she asked somberly

"I'm right here" he said reassuringly

"Oh Inu Yasha" She sobbed, again hiding her face from him. Inu Yasha forced himself to force her to look at him.

`Its ok, I'm here" he said. She looked up into his eyes, a stray tear slipping from her eye. He quickly wiped it away and tried his best to not think about everything. Kagomes words were still strong in his mind. This was the Kikyo he had desired all along and now he had her. It was odd really, all this time, he had desired Kikyo, who he couldn't have, and now, now he had her, and he couldn't stop thinking about Kagome, who he couldn't have. He kissed her forehead gently to try and calm her. Her eyes held such shock from his tenderness. Inu Yasha could not fight the feelings in his heart and mind and while he knew he had to be here with Kikyo, it was so hard. Finally he sought the only solace he could think of. He cleared his mind of everything and focused on his favorite memory of Kikyo, when he had watched her bathe in the river. Unfortunately it backfired and the arousal he felt that day sprung up again. He didn't even have tessaiga with him, he could not afford to be aroused. He desperately struggled to control himself. Kikyo gasped when she felt his hardness against her legs. Inu Yasha prayed she wouldn't react, but at the same time, he wondered, if Kikyo was completely new. At that thought he lost his ability to control himself and roughly pushed Kikyo onto her back. His senses came back to him when he found himself and Kikyo naked and himself positioned at her entrance, she was extremely aroused and he wanted to know. Kagome would have purified Kikyo of every trace of ever touching Naraku, all she had were the memories. He inhaled deeply and she smelled of innocence. Not really caring anymore, he shoved into her, her tightness reassured him that this was indeed not the undead Kikyo, but the true Kikyo. He finally understood, that this Kikyo was not responsible for those actions that plagued her mind, Kagome had killed that Kikyo. That's what Kagome meant. Everything else seemed to happen so fast, the relief in his heart and mind took over and the only thoughts were those of, this is my Kikyo, not Naraku's. He forced himself not to mark her when he took her, he could not handle that. It was merely an act of unrequited lust from long ago and a need for answers only that act could give, it was not love.