InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Between Heaven and Hell ❯ After Effect ( Chapter 10 )

Sesshomaru's feet slowed to a stop after he had made it some way further from the wooden home. Tilting his head skywards, he gazed up at the night's lone spectator. The blue-faced moon seemed to glower down upon him in disapproval, as if she had seen everything that had chanced between him and the ningen girl.

 

He had never intended for his acquaintance with that human, Kagome to follow this… immoral path.

 

However, that was the direction he had mistakenly brought them towards. Without realizing it, he had lured her into his endless, sin-laced existence. Sesshomaru regrettably saw the reality of the situation. It was more than expected that the girl would view all of this quite differently, but no matter what she opted to believe, it would not change the truth.

 

Sesshomaru lowered himself at the trunk of a tree, leaning his head against it comfortably. And with rare occurrence, he sighed, a dismal and bleak breath of air. Closing his eyes to the foreboding moon, he propped his arm up on his knee.

 

She would not understand if he tried to explain it to her. He could already hear her protesting voice, her futile efforts to convince him otherwise. Sesshomaru would not expect her to accept the truth. He saw the gap between their undeniable dissimilarities. The carefree ningen was naïve, young, and too accepting of the world around her, despite its unending flaws and sins. And he, a veteran daiyoukai with the blood of many still lingering on his claws...

 

He knew better. Sesshomaru saw behind the false façades that lady earth scattered about herself, her true nature hiding beneath. Yes, she was beautiful and calming at certain times, but such things she offered would not last forever. Every once in a while, one could accept her fleeting gifts to escape reality, but in the end, they would only find themselves in the same situation the world had placed them in from the very beginning.

 

And in the same way, no matter how hard he tried to forget, no matter how accepting the naïve girl would be to him, he would always and forever be a demon, and she, a human. The destinies of their kinds were not meant to be entwined, unless they were only to destroy and devastate the other. Hate was the only emotion to be felt between them; at the very least, indifference.

 

But never anything beyond that. Certainly not kindness, nor affection. And certainly not what he had done so thoughtlessly this damned night...

 

Such a thing between them was foolish; Sesshomaru knew it, yet, he did not quite exactly regret what he had done as he knew he should have.

 

Sesshomaru scoffed at the irony. He knew this was wrong, and he claimed to know the truth of the situation. He knew all this, yet still, he desired to live in this lie. This lie of a kiss, this kiss that lingered to fill his mind with thoughts that should otherwise be kept buried; this kiss that seemed to shield him off from reality and bring him into the world of a carefree and kind heart.

 

He could not easily forget the strange feeling he felt as he ran his fingers through her soft, raven hair. It was a strange and foreign feeling, but, it was… pleasant. Watching her every reaction and feeling her every wavering breath against the back of his palm… It was something he had never been given the chance to savor.

 

And as hard as he tried to forget that unpredictable girl, as he knew he should, Sesshomaru could not seem to find the strength to completely release her from his grasp.

 

For that divine scent, her scent… The sweet yet delicate smell of jasmine, and that subdued, earthy scent, as if she were the flower itself, blooming prettily from the ground.

 

For that strange feeling of intimacy as he touched her ever so gently, as if he could feel her every emotion and every emotion she had ever felt.

 

For those captivating and adoring sapphire eyes; so full of love for the world and people around her, and so passionate for living life itself…

 

And for those smiling, soft lips… Ones that uttered the strangest of thoughts, yet made him yearn to hear her voice again, as if it were soft music, humming playfully in his ear. How he liked the sound of her gentle voice carrying his name on those lips, and those same lips against his…

 

But there was something else, he recalled; something else he remembered which, unlike the others, irked him to no ends.

 

The other scent on her.

 

It was that unwelcome scent that still lingered on her, intermingling with earthy jasmine and tainting it. Sesshomaru frowned, his arm unconsciously tensing. The scent could belong to none other than that impulsive taijiya.

 

When Sesshomaru had touched her face, he could smell the demon slayer's scent faintly on her, and something about that irritated him. He could not deny the part deep inside of him that desired her body to be free of his smell. For her very being was like a divine escape for him, and that intimacy alone could cause him forget all else.

 

But that scent, it was as if it would bring him back a step closer towards reality. Something that would hold him back that much more from the complete serenity that girl was able to give him.

 

Besides, it was hardly difficult to discern the demon slayer's feelings towards his little human. However, he was admittedly unsure whether that feeling was of a more “brotherly” emotion rather than a lover. Either way, he was bound to capture her attention, one way or another. That taijiya…

 

And he could not help but question; to wonder.

 

To the human, to the girl - Kagome…

 

Where in her heart did that brash demon slayer stand?

 

~ “*” ~

 

The early birds began to stretch their wings and fill their chests with song, welcoming the sun from the eastern horizon. Their blissful melody welcomed everyone to a bright, new day.

 

Kagome yawned, finishing with a long sigh as her eyes moistened with fresh tears, some of which barely escaped from the corners of her closed lids.

 

`It's time to wake up already…?' her mind sighed tiredly. She groaned and tucked her head beneath the covers. After another moment, Kagome resurfaced and sat upright, rubbing the sleep away from her weary eyes. It only took a minute or so for her mind to regain full consciousness.

 

Customarily, she always began her days early, but what with her injured leg, Kagome wasn't sure what she would even be able to accomplish. And what worse, it felt almost lonely sitting there with nothing to do. With a depressing sigh, she gazed out her window, already filled with young sunlight.

 

Then again, she remembered, from what Sesshomaru had told her last night, she should be able to walk today. Because of his saliva, wasn't it? Kagome cringed slightly. Of course, she was completely grateful for his help, but a small part of her still found his spit mixed with her blood a bit revolting.

 

With her attention now on her wound, Kagome pulled the covers off her body, including her leg, and looked with curiosity upon her bandaged ankle and calf. The blood that had seeped through had by now dried and turned a rusty brown.

 

Reaching for the herb-laden bandages, Kagome began to undo them, curiosity forcing her to steal a peek at her healing gash. When she had unraveled them, however, she was not as surprised as she thought she would be by the sight of her saliva healed wound.

 

The cut was still as deep as ever, it seemed, perhaps just a little better. The gash was crusted with the blood that had seeped out during the night, making the wound look larger than it was in reality. The only thing that had changed was its infected color, making it now look like a regular healing injury.

 

Kagome frowned in what could be described as slight disappointment. From what she had seen with Sesshomaru's wounds, she would have thought the wound to be much further cured by now. But perhaps he had only applied enough of his saliva to ease the pain.

 

Well, that would make sense, now that she thought about it. Kagome could only imagine the look of shock and suspicion across her sibling's face as she saw a completely healed wound.

 

Glancing over her injury once again, this time, with a much more detached look, she gently ran her fingers over it, testing the pain quietly. However, her mind was elsewhere as the other memories of the night before began to slowly flood her thoughts; particularly, the kiss.

 

`That's right…' Kagome reminisced to herself silently. Sesshomaru had kissed her.

 

What had brought him to do something like that? She supposed it was foolish of her to have thought of them as nothing but friends who enjoyed each other's company, but even so…

 

Kagome's hand left her leg gradually, making its way to her rosy pink lips. Like so many other things, he had made her feel something she had not experienced with any other man; it was a first time for her. No, she had never been kissed by a man, especially on the lips. It made her feel embarrassed, but at the same time, it made her heart race and butterflies flutter in her belly. She lost her need for air and her mind would not allow her to think of anything else but him. The way his mouth pressed firmly against hers…

 

She admitted, it was not an unpleasant feeling. In fact, she rather liked it. And embarrassingly enough, she wouldn't mind having that feeling again. It was so unlike any other sensation she had had before.

 

His firm lips flush against her soft ones… His heat so close to hers, and his hot breath oddly chilling her body…

 

“Good morning.”

 

The shoji door slid open as Kagome's sister walked in to greet her.

 

Caught off guard, Kagome had jerked her head in surprise at the noise, but now seeing it was only her sister, she smiled in return. “Kikyo, good morning.”

 

Shutting it only halfway with her foot, Kikyo made her way towards her sibling and kneeled down beside her, putting the bowl of medicinal herbs and some fresh linen bandages she had been carrying down on the ground, as well as a wooden basin of water.

 

“I see you are already up,” Kikyo laughed as she picked the bowl back up and began to grind the strong smelling plants with a smooth stone. “You slept well, I hope?”

 

Kagome nodded, watching quietly for a moment as she began to spread the crushed herbs on the linen, before she turned to look towards her leg. Reaching for the soiled bandages there, she raveled them up into a bundle. Kagome neatly placed the used bandages beside the bowl just as her sister finished with the new ones.

 

Kikyo took her sister's leg gently with a little help from Kagome and placed it in her lap, leaving the fresh bandages on the ground beside them. She took the cloth that hung on the edge of the water basin and dipped it into the water.

 

Suddenly remembering her partially cured wound, Kagome held her breath unconsciously, hoping her sister would not find anything abnormal about her healing leg. She let out a small sigh of relief when she saw Kikyo smile as her eyes met her leg.

 

“It looks like it's healing just fine,” Kikyo told her, looking up at her younger sister as she wringed the excess water from the cloth. “I'm so glad to see that.”

 

Kagome laughed, now at ease. “Me too.”

 

Kikyo began to gently dab away all the old blood that had gathered around her injury with careful movements. When the wound was sufficiently cleaned, the practiced miko took up the neglected bandages.

 

Deftly, Kikyo quickly began to wrap the linen strips around the section of her leg marred by the gash. Her dexterous movements left her sister watching in envious awe.

 

`If only I could do something like that…' Kagome sighed dejectedly, but soon shook the thought from her mind. At any rate, she was proud to be able to call Kikyo her sister.

 

“Kagome…” Kikyo began, breaking the room's comfortable silence, “promise me that from now on you won't wander off on your own like that anymore.” Kikyo shook her head. She glanced up at her sister with those familiar, concerned brown eyes of hers. “It's too dangerous out there Kagome. You should know that by now.”

 

Kagome gave a few unnoticeable nods. “I know,” she replied, hints of guilt eminent in her voice.

 

Kikyo finished the bandaging with a swift knot and returned Kagome's thin leg back to the futon. The miko sighed softly, the task complete. She lifted her head, looking at her little sister with almost searching eyes, and pursed her lips. Kikyo reached forward, slowly smoothing Kagome's hair with the touch of a caring mother.

 

Her eyes moved along the contours of her sibling's face again, as in search for any other injuries or signs of pain. Kagome fidgeted in slight discomfort, feeling awkward being so closely analyzed by her sister. Kikyo's eyes softened.

 

“I'm sorry,” Kikyo apologized with a stressed smile, bringing her hand back to her lap, but the smile quickly faded. “It's just… the thought of that demon doing something even worse to you…”

 

“I know,” Kagome repeated, unknowingly chewing on her bottom lip. Her mind now subconsciously wondered if Ichirou had told her sister about seeing a silver-haired youkai. Dismissing the thought for the time being, she focused more on easing her sister's concerns. “I shouldn't have run out there like that. It's me who should be saying sorry; not you…”

 

Kikyo only gave her a small smile before gathering her things. With wash basin in one hand and the bowl for the dried herbs in the other, she stood, leaving her sister to rest comfortably on her futon.

 

Kagome gave her a weak smile in return, hoping to ease her sister's anxieties with a façade that would assure her she was alright. She hated making Kikyo so concerned for her. Just a simple glance at the stressed features of her face had the power to make her feel unbelievably guilty. Then again, it was comforting to know that she had someone who loved her and cared for her, no matter what the circumstances were. And even more so, someone Kagome herself could love and care for in return.

 

Her sister stopped to look at her with a backward glance as she reached the half-open shoji door. “You know, Kagome,” Kikyo began, breaking the room's comfortable silence, “you should really thank Ichirou. If it weren't for him, who knows what could have happened?”

 

Kagome's eyes cast downward at the mention of Ichirou. She nodded slowly, gently biting the inside of her bottom lip.

 

Kikyo sighed, her mouth pressed into a straight line as she noted her sister's slightly deflated mood. Ever since that day when she saw Ichirou at their house, she had noticed this awkward tension between the two of them. Something had obviously happened, and though she knew not what of, she could tell they were not exactly on speaking terms. And judging from what she saw, their silence was not due to anger, per se. Rather, it seemed to her that they didn't know what to say.

 

She was not upset that Kagome had not opened up to her about what happened. All she wanted was to comfort her younger sister, but it was apparent that Kagome was trying to handle the situation on her own. Kagome usually told her about these things, but if she really wanted to figure this problem out on her own, she would not stop her. Her little sister was growing up. She was becoming more mature, little by little, and she could make her own decisions. That was something she knew she would have to accept.

 

Pushing the shoji door open a little more with her foot, the miko made her way through and gave Kagome one final glance.

 

“Be careful with your leg, Kagome. Don't walk around too much,” Kikyo said, a caring smile now spread across her lips. Well, it couldn't be helped; she was still her baby sister, after all.

 

Kagome's face seemed to brighten as she laughed lightly. “I'll take care of it.”

 

Kikyo smiled again, and with that, disappeared behind the shoji.

 

Watching her leave until the last moment, Kagome fell back flat onto the futon again, staring up at the ceiling with vacant eyes, her smile now fading.

 

`“Thank Ichirou…”' she repeated in her mind. `If only I could.'

 

Ever since she had thoughtlessly run her mouth to him, things had never been the same between them. Ichirou hated youkai, and the fact that she had defended them unsurprisingly made things as they were now. Of course he was angry; how could she defend the ones who had hurt his friends? And then to add, Ichirou knew she had somehow befriended a demon, due to some fortuitous encounter. Though, with any luck, he might have thought it had been a onetime thing, and that she would never see said demon again. She could only hope.

 

In any case, she didn't want this pointless feud between them to last. Ichirou cared so much about her - he was like a brother to her - but in return, all she was being was careless to his feelings. At the very least she had to thank him. She had said all the wrong things, yet in the end, he came to help her. They were still friends, but Kagome knew she wasn't doing anything to help that.

 

Kagome sat up, looking out the window in resolve.

 

Slowly, she stood up onto her feet. With a small step, she tested the pain level of her leg. All thanks to Sesshomaru's help, the wound seemed to have healed enough to walk. Kagome began making her way to her bedroom door, though out of precaution, put as little weight on her hurt leg as possible.

 

When she reached the shoji, the young woman took a deep breath. She had to mend things with Ichirou; she owed him that much. She could not even thank him properly the day before… They couldn't go on like this forever.

 

Mind set on seeing her estranged friend, Kagome opened the door with new determination. However, her heart nearly froze in shock as her eyes were met with auburn and an equally surprised look upon her visitor's face.

 

His mouth opened slightly, as if to say something, but closed again on second thought. Averting Kagome's gaze, he cleared his throat quietly, caught in uncomfortable uncertainty.

 

“Ichirou… I wasn't expecting to see you here…” Kagome managed to say after what seemed to be an eternity of painful silence.

 

Much later than he would have appreciated, Ichirou found his voice at last and looked up at Kagome with an unreadable expression across his face.

 

“I… thought you'd be resting,” was the only response he could think of to say, before casting his gaze to the floor once again.

 

Kagome fixed her eyes intently on the taijiya's hesitant eyes. Suddenly, she seemed to be just as hard-pressed for words as he. The young woman kept relatively still, save for her fingers at her side, which moved restlessly in unsure idleness. But before she could speak up in answer to him, Ichirou continued.

 

“How are you feeling?” he asked her quietly, though he persisted in avoiding her cerulean orbs.

 

“Not perfect, but better,” Kagome replied with a smile so fragile, it made an unexpected pang of guilt course through the demon-slayer's veins.

 

Kagome gave out a frustrated sigh. She had already made her decision. It wasn't supposed to be this difficult. This should have been easy. Pursing her lips, Kagome knew she had to take this given opportunity to mend things.

 

“Ichirou, we-” she began with a small shake of her head. “I… I've been meaning to talk to you. Would you please, just… stay for a while?”

 

Ichirou looked up at her with surprised eyes, but eventually, they lost their tense air, and the corners of his mouth upturned faintly for the first time in what seemed like ages.

 

~ “*” ~

 

As Kagome found her seat comfortably by the low wooden table, Ichirou followed suit and sat across from her. Folding her hands neatly in her lap, Kagome looked directly into the taijiya's eyes.

 

“First, I…” she began slowly, “want to thank you for what you did yesterday. I know I'd be in a much worse state if it weren't for you.”

 

Ichirou shook his head, words of the other youkai unwelcomingly flooding his mind yet again. “You don't need to thank me,” he said, his voice just above a whisper.

 

“Yes, Ichirou, I do,” Kagome stated firmly. Her caring blue orbs strained as she pressed him, “Do you just save my life and expect me to say nothing to you about it? Like it was nothing?”

 

“Kagome, it's what I do,” he retorted with an unintentional harshness in his voice. Ichirou clenched his jaw when he saw the hurt emanating from the young woman's eyes at his callous remark. Averting her pain-stricken gaze, Ichirou looked at the tatami.

 

“Besides…” he said, his voice lowering in attempt to provide a more calming atmosphere, “I couldn't even protect you from that other youkai.”

 

Taken slightly aback, all previous thoughts fled her memory. Had Ichirou discovered Sesshomaru's identity? Keeping this illicit secret had undoubtedly begun to create a skepticism in her.

 

“…What do you mean…?” Kagome asked cautiously as she nervously tightened the grip of her hand.

 

Ichirou let out a sarcastic breath of air. “If I…” he started, only to pause again as he continually shook his head in what looked like to be frustration. “If I hadn't been so blinded by my hatred, then you wouldn't have been left vulnerable to that inuyoukai…”

 

Kagome inhaled a quiet mouthful of air, her mind partially eased. But now, she had the task of consoling her friend and his irrelevant doubts.

 

“But he didn't hurt me,” Kagome assured him.

 

“I know… And I don't know why it didn't,” Ichirou admitted, his eyes finding their way back to hers. Then abruptly, his gaze became filled with anxiety and a subtle rage. “But even if it wanted to, I wouldn't be able to stop it.”

 

Ichirou looked away from her again and sucked in a long breath. He shook his head for the third time, propping his elbow onto the table surface and covering his upper face in vexation.

 

“Don't you see, Kagome?” the taijiya said through clenched teeth. “I don't deserve your gratitude. I'm not even strong enough to protect you.”

 

The space between Kagome's eyebrows creased in confusion. In the end, the fact was that she was fine. She hadn't lost her leg, and what's more, she was still alive. He had brought her safely home, so why did he insist on blaming himself?

 

Ichirou took a last look at Kagome before rising to his feet. “Forget it,” he scoffed as he turned to leave. “You wouldn't understand.”

 

Ichirou footsteps were moving him further and further away from her, and Kagome was at loss for words. She didn't care if he had made a mistake in tactics, or he wasn't strong enough. None of that mattered to her. She desired to fix things with him, above all else, but here they were; farther apart than ever.

 

“Ichirou!” she cried out to him in unexpected desperation, halting him in his tracks. No, she wouldn't lose this chance to salvage her friendship with the taijiya.

 

“Please, just... stop,” she begged him, finding herself standing up on her own two feet. Kagome reached out to him, though his back was still turned to her. “All we've been doing is pushing each other away. Ever since… since I've told you, we've barely said anything to each other.”

 

Ichirou continued his stoic stance, apart from his hand, which tightened into a balled fist, turning his knuckles a frightening white.

 

“You're like a brother to me, Ichirou,” she persisted, feeling her nose begin to sting from the mounting tears and hoping he would turn and face her. “I don't want it to be like this.”

 

In answer to her desperate prayers, Ichirou eyes drifted back to Kagome's pleading face, her azure eyes filled to the brim with tears that threatened to fall.

 

`A brother,' he repeated silently. In all honesty, that was not the word he wanted to hear.

 

When all she received was silence, a tear escaped its safe hiding place and rolled down to her chin. “I know you care about me, Ichirou, and… I care about you too.”

 

What could she say to make him understand? She didn't want to lose him. In actuality, this had all been her fault; she knew it. She had been the insensitive one, and yet even knowing this, she could not make herself willing to let go of Sesshomaru. In realization, there was nothing she could say to Ichirou. Was this her punishment for her undeniable feelings for a demon?

 

`I don't want things to change between us…' she begged the gods as more tears ran down her rosy cheeks.

 

“I'm sorry…” she whispered, trying to wipe the treacherous tears away. “Ichirou, I'm so sorry…”

 

Ichirou closed his eyes, refusing to watch another tear fall from Kagome's angel face. The same unwelcome guilt panged in his heart again.

 

There was a torturous silence in the room for a while, all but the futile sobs of the naïve, raven-haired girl.

 

“Then let's forget about everything.”

 

Kagome looked up as she heard Ichirou's voice beside her, revealing her tear-stricken face. He gently took her hand in his, holding it firmly.

 

Even if he couldn't protect her, then at the very least…

 

He wouldn't let her cry.