InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Between Love and Hate ❯ Chapter 9~Full Circle!~Final Chapter!! ( Chapter 9 )

Between Love and Hate By Mija

Disclaimer~Dont own Inuyasha and Compnay.

Chapter 9~Full Circle!

~~~Sesshoumaru sped to Rin, he could already tell where she was. She was in Inuyasha's room. She had been told not to ever go in there, but ever since she had found out that Inuyasha was Sesshoumaru's half brother she had been extremly curious. Sesshoumaru growled as he neared the room. If he had touched one hair on Rins head then brother or no he would grant Inuyasha's greatest desire and end his life. Sesshoumaru entered the room and stopped dead in his tracks. What he saw was not what he expected. And as much as it galled him to admit, the sight made his chest tighten and his gut clentch. Rin was crying, sobbing as she stood at the foot of Inuyasha's bed. On the bed lay his brother. His hair was matted to his face and stringy from the abuse Inuyasha had been placing on his body for weeks now. His head was turned towards the door, a small smirk on his boyish face and his amber eyes so much like his own were open and facing the door as well. But there was no life in those eyes, the spark of anything living was totally gone. His brother was dead, his life had left his body as the blood seeped from his wrists. Next to his head lay a piece of parchement. Sesshoumaru already knew what Inuyasha had done. Since Sesshoumaru had removed anything sharp or harmfull to himself, Inuyasha had finally resorded to using his sharp claws to slice into the artieries at each wrist to end his suffering.

"Rin? Go to your room..wait for me there till I come for you..do not leave till I or Jaken come for you..understood?" Sesshoumaru commanded, his voice held no emotion, his face expressionless. Looking up Rin, tears still upon her cheeks nodded and ran out of the room, her tears and sobs echoing off the corridor walls.

~~~Sesshoumaru growled low in his throat. Oddly he was growling at his brother. He wanted Inuyasha alive, wanted to scold him and berate him for his weakness and his broken promise to him. But Inuyasha was no longer in this world to scold, to harrass, to hate. He was gone and as much as he despised it, he felt his loss greatly. Why should he care that his brother was gone? It made no sense, but the annoying emotion was there. Regret, hurt, loss. He walked over towards the parchement, picking it up as he wrinkled his nose at the stench of his brothers now caking blood upon the bed. He looked at the parchment and read the squiggly yet very readable letters of his brother.

Oi Bro, dont go thinking of bringing me back with Tensaiga..I dont want that. ya ya I know I promised to tell ya about why I killed Kagome in payment for you bringing her back and dont worry, at the end of this note I will explain it all to you, but I wanted to make sure you understand that I DONT WANT TO BE BOUGHT BACK! Please. I know we never got to know each other and crap. Hell we hated each other. But ya know whats funny? These weeks, this short time ive been here with you at dads old home and had ya forcing shit down my throat to keep me alive got me to thinking junk. What would things have been like if we had grown up together? Would things have been diffrent between us ya think? Would we have been close you think? I think I would of liked that. It would of been nice ya know, to have someone to be close to, not like Kagome and the others, I love em and all and ya we're close, but, it would of sort of been kind of cool to have a big brother to talk to about junk, maybe if I had I might of been able to control my demon side better, learned to be more like you, more controled and restrained. I never meant to hurt her Sess. I love her with all my heart and soul. Shes such a wonderfull person my Kagome. By the way I will be really pissed beyond hell if you so much as hurt her bro, if you touch her I swear I will come back and haunt your girly ass...

Sesshoumaru growled at this threat as he quirked an eyebrow. Even in death his brother could still piss him off not no one else. He read on.

Seriously. I know I have no right to ask for any more favors but please....dont hurt her...she was and is the best thing that ever happened to me. She loved me. I loved her. I fucked up and hurt her. Now I have to pay the price for my mistake. I know what your thinking bro, if she is such a good and caring person she would no doubt forgive me for what I did..and you know...I think..no I know she would if I had given her half the chance, but the thing is, I cant forgive myself. I hurt her. I did something that no one who claimes to love someone should do. I killed her in rage, in jealousy. I didnt trust her. I should have. Either way I cant take back the totally fucked up thing I did to her and I cant face her ever. It hurts to much Sess..I know you will never know what I mean and I hope to the gods you never do..even if you are an ass and all I wouldnt wish this sort of hurt and pain on my worst enemy..ok I would wish it on Naraku and maybe Koga..naw not Koga hes an ass but a good guy at heart i guess, he might make Kagome a good mate now that Im gone, hes more able to express his feelings towards Kagome than I ever could. Anyhow just know that this is what I want. I wanted the pain to stop and it will now..I hope wouldnt it be a real shit if you felt the pain even in the after life? That would be one hell of a dissappointement. Anyway, thats all I gotta say bro, my explanation and your payment will follow this but I wanted you to know all this before that..and well if you can I want to be buried under the Gods tree in my forest. Where Kagome and I first met. I want to be near her, even if only in spirit. If you see her....tell her....tell her Im sorry and that I never meant to hurt her. Tell her I love her Sess. Please? Oh and by the way, Tetsaiga is now yours. It should stay in the family ya know? Laters Inuyasha.

Sesshoumaru was totally in shock when he saw a wet spot spread across the parchement and realized that the wetness had come from his eyes. He was shedding tears? That could not be. He did not cry. He did not feel such weakness. He never lost control of his emotions, even if others accussed him of not having them, he knew he did, but he kept a tight control over it. There was no way in seven hells that he would shed a tear, especially over the passing of his annoying hanyou brother. So what was wrong with him? Why did his eyes leak? Why did his chest feel tight as if something heavy were sitting atop it? Why did he feel the urge to howl at the sky? It had to be something other than the fact that he had just found his brother dead and had read the words he had written before he took his own life. Right?

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~~~The day after Kagome and Sango had returned back to Kaede's and Sango told Miroku and Kaede about what Kagome had done to Yoshi, they had all resolved to look for Inuyasha. Everyone around them except for Shippo knew that Kagome had changed. She was beggining to look more and more like Shippo. Withdrawn and emotionless. She didnt speak and didnt eat and they were worried about her. They knew that the only one who could if it were at all possible, bring Kagome back to normal would be Inuyasha. Yes it had been his actions that had caused this change, but they knew it was also Inuyasha that could only touch Kagome's heart in the way she needed to be touched now. They had always had a bond, even if they didnt admit it to one another, they were linked and only they could somehow sooth the others pain and hurt. So they gathered the things they would need for a long travel, leaving Shippo in Kaedes care and were about to head out when Sesshoumaru appeared at the edge of the forest with his two headed Dragon Ah-Uh<sp?>. They all got battle ready. All but Kagome who seemed to look at him in a sort of trance, till they noticed that she was not looking at Sesshoumaru but at the two headed dragon, more specificly the bundle upon its back, wrapped in cloth.

~~~Miroku and Sango were confussed and terribly puzzled. Sesshoumaru did not say a word or made a move but stared intently at Kagome. Then to thier shock Kagome screamed and fell on her knees crying as if her soul were being ripped apart. It was the first real emotions she had shown thus far, which was not very comforting.

"Hooow??? Why????" she cried looking up at Sesshoumaru who stared down at her.

"He was in pain..he wished to die and took his own life to ease his pain." Sesshoumaru stated blankly and bluntly. Miroku and Sango took a better look at the bundle on the dragons back and realization finally hit them when they saw a sliver of silver peeking out of the cloth. Sango broke into sobs and covered her face in Miroku's chest as she cried her heart out. Miroku too shoke with supressed grief, but he had to be strong, he had to take care of the women and Shippo now. He couldnt believe Inuyasha was gone. The thought almost bought him to his own knees, but he remained upright and held back his grief for them.

"His last wish was to be buried under the Gods Tree...I am here to grant his last request." Sesshoumaru stated as he turned, grabbed Ah-Uh's reings and headed for the tree. Kagome jumped to her feet and ran after him, still sobbing and chanting over and over again..Why? Why? Why?

~~~As Sesshoumaru and Miroku dug up Inuyasha's resting place at the base of the old tree, Sango held Kagome loosly as Kagome was crying into the cloth covered body of Inuyasha, which was layed now on the ground, ready to be put into his final resting place. Miroku and Sesshoumaru made short work of the grave and they had not spoken a single word to one another as they worked. Then when it was done they turned to the two women and Inuyasha's body. Miroku wanted so badly to drop to his own knees and howl out his own greif but he didnt. His legs shook with the need but he kept firm hold of himself. It tore his heart out to see Kagome looking soo lost and soo alone, so painfilled and grief stricken. Sango's own pain and grief was no less palitable but Kagome's was greater right now.

~~~They finally had to hold Kagome back as Sesshoumaru took Inuyasha's body and placed it in the grave then began to cover it up. If Miroku and Sango hadnt been holding her back Kagome would have flung herself into the grave and clung to Inuyasha's body. Soon it was over and he was covered up. They had felt Kagome's sobs ease with each shovel of earth that covered Inuyasha's body. When it was finally done, she was standing there with that blank emotionless face again, her face streaked with tears, eyes puffy from her crying, nose red and stuffed. But other than that you could not see any grief. After a prayer of gods speed and peace by Miroku they got ready to leave. Sesshoumaru had stayed for the prayer and now he turned to Kagome.

"His last words other than his wish to be buried here was to tell you that he was sorry..that he never meant to hurt you and that he loves you." With that Sesshoumaru turned on his heel and sped off into the forest.

"Kagome?? we should get back..its getting dark." came Miroku's soft caring voice. Wanting to get Kagome back to Kaedes so they could help her and each other threw their grief.

"Go on with out me ok? I just..I just want to be here a little longer..say my own goodbyes." she said tonelessly.

"But Kagome we..." Sango began fearfull of leaving her alone.

"Please Sango?? I just want to be alone with him one last time ok?" Kagome cut in as she looked as them with new tears in her eyes and emotion on her face now, even if it was sorrow. It tore at thier hearts but they nodded and headed back to the village. Once they were gone Kagome kneeled next to the freshly covered grave and tears spilled from her eyes.

"Ohh Inuyasha...Im soo sorry..I shouldnt have stayed away so long..I shouldnt have been so stupid..I know now that you didnt mean to do what you did, I know you never meant to hurt me..And I never meant to hurt you..I was affraid I would be affraid of you when I came back and for that Im sorry..I should never have doubted my feelings for you..I made a promise to you a long time ago..that I would stay by your side always and I mean to keep that promise Inuyasha..." she whispered to him as she layed over the mound of earth and hugged it as she would if it were his own body and chest that she rested her head upon. Everything seemed simple now. Her heart stopped aching and a smile crossed her face.

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Worried when Kagome hadnt come back both Sango and Miroku went to the Gods tree to find her. When they got there they found her curled up on Inuyasha's grave, for all intents and purposes it looked as if she had fallen asleep and that tore at thier hearts more. They walked over to wake her when they realized something. Kagome's eyes were open and a smile graced her lips. In her hand was a small piece of parchement which she called paper. Sango ran to her and shook her body. Sango's heart was pounding in her chest and she franticly prayed that what she feared were not true. Miroku picked the piece of paper up and read it outloud.

Dear Miroku and Sango,

Please dont hate me. Please take care of Shippo, hes going to need a mom and dad to watch over him when he finally wakes up..hes soo little he needs you two to love him as much as I did. I know your probably sad right now but dont be...I made a promise long ago to stay by Inuyasha's side, to go where ever he went, to always be with him. And thats what I plan to do. I cant live without him you guys. Inuyasha and I are connected. My life means nothing if Im not with him. I didnt understand that till now, but its true, I love him body AND soul...and my soul yearns to be with him even in death. So be happy for me ok? We will be together again and we will finally be happy. No more sadness or tears, no more fighting and hunting Naraku. We will be together at last and love the way were were meant to. So be happy for us..for me. This is what I want. Bury me next to him will ya? Please? And know that I love you all and will be watching out for you from the heavens. Till we meet again my friends I love you all, Kagome.

~~~Sango yelled out her grief as Kagome had done when she found out Inuyasha was dead. Miroku fell to his own knees now and let fall all his pain and grief for his friends. He had lost Kagome and Inuyasha all in one day and it felt like to much to bare. But he would go on, for Sango, for Shippo and for Inuyasha and Kagome. Miroku crawled over to Sango and held her as they wept together over the bodies of thier dear friends. It was not till long later that they found out that Kagome's heart had just stopped beating. She had no will to live and her heart just stopped, as if she truelly were bonded to Inuyasha and followed him into death. They buried thier dear friend next to the man she loved and visited often. The pain eased with time, as the ground they were buried underneath at the base of the tree boomed brighter than the entire area around it. It was always covered in lush grass and colorfull flowers. In thier hearts they knew that Kagome and Inuyasha were truelly together and finally happy.

A/N~Ok guys that is the last chap to this story...Im sorry ok...please dont hurt me Mules...I had to do it...it had always been my intention for Inuyasha to die...I never meant for them to be together, it would of been hard to bring them back to thier normal selves after all that had happened and as I said this is a dark fic no fluffy romance, although yes I sort of caved and put a bit of flullyness although it was surrounded by death..lol..but anyhow I hope it met all your expectations guys and please dont hate me for killing them off...trust me I cried as I wrote this, I mean I love Inu and Kagome, but this is how the story was supposed to be and I had to do it..sniffles..and it didnt help that half way threw writing this Inuyasha came on the tv and it was the one called where we first met..and ooh god you gotta know when she cried I cried hard too..lol..anyhow let me know what you guys thing of this ending ok? thanks till next story much huggles and smiles and luv Mija..:-)..ya and I now Sess was a bit OOC but come on am I the only one who thinks from watchin the show that he might care just a tiny bit about Inu?? I mean hes sort of saved him once or twice in an odd way..i dont know probably just me..anyhow I wanted to put that part of Sess and Inu's letter there to show that I thought they might of had some sort of emotions for each other, even if they were deep and buried..:-)