InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Beyond Friendship: Be Who You Are ❯ An Old Story ( Chapter 5 )
[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]
By: Lord Youko 
Anime/Manga: InuYasha Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Romance | Type: Yaoi | Uploaded On: 01.31.2011 | Pages: 5 | Words: 5.0K | Visits: 729 | Status: Work In Progress
Anime/Manga: InuYasha Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Romance | Type: Yaoi | Uploaded On: 01.31.2011 | Pages: 5 | Words: 5.0K | Visits: 729 | Status: Work In Progress
Chapter 5 – An Old Story
Inuyasha did not know how far or how long he’d been running; he didn’t even know where he was going. All he knew was that he had to get away…from that school, from Sesshoumaru, from his first real relationship, from the first guy he’d ever really felt something for…
Even as he felt a familiar, dull ache in his heart, Inuyasha could not help berate himself for his idiocy. Why couldn’t he have kept his damn mouth shut? Who revealed such personal things about himself after only a few days? Hell, most people didn’t have such screwed up secrets. Most people worried about normal stuff like appearance, does he like me, is he playing with me…oh god, what wouldn’t he give for a normal life, for normal worries like those?
And the worst part was, he couldn’t even blame Sesshoumaru. Even a damn saint couldn’t be expected to be understanding of such things and by all accounts, Sesshoumaru was no saint. The guy wanted the best in everything; figured he’d want perfection in his relationships as well…
-then why did you choose me in the first place?-
But he disregarded that voice. It didn’t matter why the demon prince had chosen him. Even if he was broadminded enough to not mind going out with a hanyou, there was no way he’d even look at a screwed up case like him. The guy was so decorous that he hadn’t even touched him on their first date. The only contact he’d had from Sesshoumaru was a warm embrace that was only comforting. That’s what he would have now; a memory. Only a memory of warm, strong arms around him and the pure demon’s spicy, beautiful scent. There would be no more late night conversations, no more pinning after the unattainable, no more dirty fantasies.
Well he didn’t think he could really help the pinning and the fantasies but now, there was not even a sliver of a chance they could come true. Once again, he was alone and it was his own damn fault.
-but it’s better this way…loneliness is better than rejection-
He shook his head, trying to clear those thoughts. No dammit! He didn’t want to be lonely, didn’t want to be alone anymore. He wanted him back.
I wish I could take back every single fucking word I said, he thought angrily.
Yes, then the relationship wouldn’t have been totally honest and forthcoming but what relationships were, really? He was an idiot to run after the ideal of a relationship where both partners understood each other completely. That was childish; showed his immaturity. If he’d only kept his damn mouth shut, at least he would still have a relationship.
As something whipped across his face, he suddenly snapped out of his thoughts and rook stock of the surroundings. There was nothing but tress all around…in his agitated state, he had run into the forest; old habits die hard, after all. He finally stopped, panting for breath. He had literally run for miles; the town was far behind now. He hadn’t even realized when he’d entered the forest. He was probably in the heart of the forest by now. It was getting very dark. He had to get out of here…
“Are you finished running?”
His heart accelerated, then stuttered at the deep, melodious voice he’d never expected to hear addressed to him again. He looked up slowly, reluctant to destroy whatever illusion his mind was creating.
But it wasn’t an illusion. Sesshoumaru was really there, looking at him through his inscrutable eyes, not a hair out of place as if he’d been waiting for Inuyasha…
“How’d you know I’d be here?” Inuyasha demanded, trying to keep his voice from shaking. He himself had not known where he was going.
Sesshoumaru raised an eyebrow. “I followed you.”
Inuyasha snorted. “Yeah right. You got here before me.” God it was painful to even look at him now.
“Flying is considerable faster than running.”
Inuyasha said nothing. The silence in a few seconds grew heavy as the unasked question hung between them, the sounds of his still uneven breathing, way too loud in the suddenly all too quiet forest.
Finally, he had to ask.
“Why’d you come?”
Sesshoumaru smiled his quiet smile and began to walk slowly towards him. “Because I will not allow you to run away from me.”
Inuyasha felt suddenly nervous
-like a cornered prey-
Sesshoumaru had behaved like a perfect gentleman so far yet strangely, everything about him seemed predatory.
“Whaddya mean?” he asked, unwilling to allow himself even the slightest hope.
“You did not wait for my response before you took off so dramatically.” Sesshoumaru was very close now and Inuyasha felt his cheeks turn slightly pink. He backed away slightly,
“Well, say it,” Inuyasha demanded, trying to hide how nervous he was, “What’d ya come to say?”
He’d thought Sesshoumaru was going to hit him, pull him close, kiss him…or something, hell, a part of him was hoping he’d do that but –
“Are you in love with Naraku?”
Inuyasha’s ears flattened at the question. Is this what he’d wanted? To taunt and humiliate him? But he supposed he’d asked for it, considering what he’d revealed. Anyone would assume he was twisted…and they wouldn’t be too wrong.
“No, I’m not,” he replied, shoulders slumping in defeat. “Look, I know it’s hard to believe but I didn’t like what he did to me, okay? I cried the whole time…”
His voice trailed of, eyes glazing over as he remembered.
“I can’t…I can’t tell you how disgusted I am with myself for…for thinking of him when- but it’s the only way I can live with it,” he finished softly, not looking at the demon prince.
“Look at me.”
Inuyasha turned around hesitantly and slowly raised his eyes to look at Sesshoumaru.
“Will you be mine?”
The question shocked him so much that Inuyasha froze, mouth hanging slightly open.
“What?” he finally managed to ask in a strangled voice.
Sesshoumaru looked at him seriously. “I asked you that because I do not share. If there is someone else in your life, tell me now. However, once I claim you, I will not tolerate another in your thoughts. If you are mine, you belong to me completely.”
Inuyasha scowled. “What the fuck are you on about? You expect me to belong to you for life? What the hell do you take me for?”
His eyes darkened. “What Naraku did to me was because I had no choice. Hell, I’d go through it again if it meant my mother remained safe but if you think for one second, I’m going to let your stuck up ass order me around for life, I’m gonna-“
He snarled irritable as Sesshoumaru laughed, low and soft. “The times when mates were claimed after a few days of courting are long past, Inuyasha.” He gazed of into the distance, as if he were remembering…
“I did not ask you to be my mate. Dog demons mate for life and in the case of a pureblood, a lifetime is a very long time indeed. I assume you have never been with a demon in the past.”
Inuyasha turned pink and shook his head grudgingly.
“I know some alphas require complete obedience from their submissive.”
Inuyasha opened his mouth to protest but closed it again when Sesshoumaru continued.
“That is not what I ask of you. However, if our relationship is to progress, once I touch you-“
Inuyasha’s face turned from flushed pink to bright red.
“- you will not be allowed to touch another, or even think of another, so long as we are together. If for any reason, either one of us develops feelings for another, we first end the relationship, then go our separate ways. If you betray me in any way during that time, the consequences will be dire- for you and for the other.”
Inuyasha was looking at him uncertainly. “A-aren’t you weirded out by what I told you?” he swallowed, ears flickering nervously. “You’re a pureblood prince. You can keep yourself away from my darkness.” He did not have the nerve to meet his eyes. “Why would you still want me?” he asked in a small voice.
Sesshoumaru smiled slightly. “I know far more about darkness than you, Inuyasha. The darkness in your life was the fault of another. Do not shoulder the weight of it for it does not taint who you are.”
Inuyasha stared down at the dirty ground, tears welling up.
“You don’t know nothin’ about me…it does, it does…”
Strong fingers raised his head up. “It does not. I can see it in your eyes.”
The tears fell, chest tight with shame and gratefulness. Such kindness and compassion in a prince! All those who called him a heartless monster were desperately wrong. He doubted anyone could be as forgiving as this man in front of him was being.
I will never be able equal to you…
Unknown to Inuyasha, Sesshoumaru gave him a knowing look. He knew what was going through the hanyou’s mind. If only he knew the real truth about him…dark deeds seemed pale in comparison to much darker ones. Inuyasha had no idea what he was getting himself into.
He refocused on Inuyasha as the hanyou took a deep breath. “Will you be faithful to me?” he asked in a small voice.
“Of course,” Sesshoumaru replied readily.
Inuyasha nodded, feeling as if he was taking a very big step on an uncharted way. “Ok then. I will be yours, Sesshoumaru.”
Sesshoumaru smiled that rare smile which sent a shiver up Inuyasha’s spine. Then he stepped closer.
It took every ounce of Inuyasha’s will to not back away. He’d wished and hoped for this but now that it was actually happening, he was hyperventilating. Images of the dark hanyou filled his mind; the way he’d claimed his mouth, made his skin crawl, made bile rise up in his throat. What if that happened with Sesshoumaru? How was he going to explain to him that he reminded him of his molester? He would surely take some other meaning from.
The demon Prince wound an arm around his waist and gently pulled him closer. Then he was bending towards him and Inuyasha closed his eyes, his entire body tensed.
But he needn’t have worried. Sesshoumaru’s touch was nothing like Naraku’s. The dark hanyou had held him firmly by his neck, crushing his smirking mouth to Inuyasha’s unresponsive one. He had tasted foul – like toxic fumes and something decaying. But when Sesshoumaru’s lips closed over his, he tasted like winter and warmth- something cool yet comforting. There was no other way of describing it. The demon Lord’s tongue gently flicked against his closed lips and he relaxed, granting him entrance. He felt relief flood through him. He didn’t feel like throwing up. He could bear the demon Lord’s touch.
And with Sesshoumaru holding him close, and kissing him so sweetly, Inuyasha was very aware of the fact that his member was entirely limp.
____________________________________________________________ ____________
“I-I guess I will see ya ‘round,” Inuyasha mumbled shakily, feeling embarrassed.
Standing around had been a bit…awkward…after the kiss, at least for him. He’d never been in such a situation before. What was he supposed to do? And it didn’t help that Sesshoumaru was staring at him like was a particularly interesting food item. That, and the demon Prince’s face could be carved out of marble.
He had seen the displeasure in Sesshoumaru’s eyes when he’d failed to respond to the kiss but it really couldn’t be helped. This was all he was capable of at the moment.
“Wait,” Sesshoumaru called.
Inuyasha turned. The forest was already quite dark. In an hour or so, it would be pitch dark. Everyone knew forests were not safe at night, unless one wasn’t averse to fighting blood thirsty demons.
“Would like to return home with me?”
Inuyasha stared, heart beating faster. “With you?” Was the guy asking him to sleep with him?
He was both relieved and disappointed when Sesshomaru added, “You may have a room to yourself. Perhaps you would not like to sleep alone in the house tonight.”
Inuyasha swallowed. He couldn’t deny that he’d been dreading just that; the nightmares that would surely come after a day like this. But going home with Sesshoumaru?
“N-no, thanks,” he said awkwardly. “I wouldn’t want to impose. I’ll be fine.”
“It is no trouble,” Sesshoumaru assured him. A guest room is always kept ready in case we have unexpected guests.”
When Inuyasha still looked hesitant, he smirked. “Or are you afraid of me, Inuyasha?”
Inuyasha glared at him and scowled. “Shut up!”
He huffed. “Ok, thanks, I guess. But I don’t have my stuff…”
Sesshoumaru brushed that concern aside.
“So, how’re we gonna get out of here? You know I can’t keep up with you…”
He stepped forward. “Hold on to me tightly.”
Inuyasha looked at him suspiciously. “Excuse me?”
Sesshoumaru rolled his eyes. “I will transport us to the mansion. Just hold on.”
“Hold on where?” Inuyasha asked.
The demon prince smirked. “Anywhere.”
For some reason, Inuyasha turned red at that remark.
“I-I can find my way back, you know,” he stated. “You-you can go…”
“It is not safe for you to be alone in the forest at night.”
“I’ve been in forests at night before,” Inuyasha insisted. “I can take care of myself.”
Sesshoumaru shook his head. “Not this forest.”
Inuyasha frowned. “Whaddya mean? What’s different about this forest?”
Sesshoumaru didn’t answer that, only stood there waiting. Inuyasha finally gave up. After muttering something about arrogant demons, he held on to Sesshoumaru’s arm.
“Do not let go,” was the only warning he got.
_____________________________________________________________ ___________
A minute later, Inuyasha still clutched Sesshoumaru’s arm tightly when they landed in the prince’s front yard.
“Are you alright?” Sesshoumaru asked and Inuyasha bristled at the hint of smugness in his voice.
“Th-that was-“ Inuyasha swallowed, still dizzy. “-fast.” He finished lamely.
Well, that was an understatement, considering they’d just traveled at the speed of light.
Sesshoumaru only smirked in response.
“Come in. It is cold outside.”
It was, but not really chilly. After regaining his balance, Inuyasha finally looked properly at the mansion. It was lit skillfully with understated but powerful lights. But there wasn’t need for too many lights. The moon was almost full tonight and in the large front yard, the moon cast a lovely light.
“Your home is beautiful at night,” Inuyasha said, turning back towards his boyfriend.
He was startled to find Sesshoumaru very close behind him. The prince looked breathtaking in the moonlight, golden eyes glowing. Sesshoumaru lowered his head so it was almost level with Inuyasha’s.
“Many things are more beautiful in the moonlight.”
His intense gaze made Inuyasha feel exposed.
Then the spell was broken as Sesshoumaru walked towards the doors of the mansion ahead of him. The guards bowed to him and let them both pass. Sesshoumaru led him past a huge, beautiful main hall and up a flight of winding, deceptively fragile looking marble stairs.
Inuyasha looked around at the beautiful house with mouth slightly open. He hadn’t seen this part of his house when he had come here last. In comparison, his own house seemed like a hovel.
“Your parents aren’t around?” he asked as Sesshoumaru led him down seemingly endless corridors.
“They are not in town at the moment,” Sesshoumaru replied, finally walking to a door and pushing it open, gesturing for Inuyasha to enter.
Inuyasha walked into the dark room. Sesshoumaru flipped a switch and closed the door behind him.
“Th-this…this is your room?” Inuyasha stammered, eyes trying to take in everything at once.
It was huge and spacious, light colors giving it an open, free look. Delicate sculptures and vases were adroitly placed around the room so that none dominated the look of the room, yet at the same time, they were clearly visible. Unlike the rest of the house that was a more or less equal blend of modern technology and old architecture, the look of this room was somehow reminiscent of an older time. It was strange; there was nothing that one could point out that gave the look. There was no four-poster bed, lanterns. The windows and a door that presumably led out into a terrace were simple but elegant, the bed was a modern metal framed though obviously custom made – none of the ready made ones would be so huge. But some of the furniture – the beautiful carved wooden table that now served as a coffee table, the dresser – was antique. And above the bed-
“Is that a tachi??”
Sesshoumaru followed Inuyasha’s eyes. “Yes it is.”
“It’s beautiful! I’ve never seen one like it…”
Sesshoumaru looked away proceeding to the sitting area, pouring two glasses of wine. “It is an original Masamune.”
Inuyasha whirled around, jaw dropped. “That’s an- y-you’re kidding me! A Masamune???! There are like only a handful of those in the world!”
Sesshoumaru gestured for him to sit down. “Indeed.”
“Bu-but it’s – that’s priceless,” Inuyasha protested. “You can’t keep that in your house!”
Sesshoumaru raised an eyebrow and Inuyasha blushed.
“Sorry, I-I mean, obviously you can but aren’t you afraid of being robbed?”
Sesshoumaru smiled that smile that made Inuyasha uneasy for some reason. “It is quite safe in this house.”
Inuyasha looked at him unsurely, then followed him to the comfortable looking couch and sat down.
“Your room’s great,” Inuyasha told him, accepting the glass of wine offered rather apprehensively. He really wasn’t a big fan of wine but to be polite, he took a sip. His eyes opened in surprise as he looked at the red wine in his glass. That tastes amazing!
“Thank you,” Sesshoumaru responded.
There was a knock on the door. After receiving permission, he entered, walking up to the two. Inuyasha looked at him, frowning. Once again, he was struck by that sense that there was something not quite right there. The way he walked with rigid steps, his very proper posture and gestures that did not seem forced or learnt, the way he kept his eyes to the floor.
“Sesshoumaru-sama?” he asked respectfully. He looked inquiringly at the demon Lord. Sesshoumaru had called him?
“Prepare the guest room for Inuyasha.”
Inuyasha was surprised as the servant bowed respectfully and left, without a hint of resistance or resentment. He seemed quite happy.
“Uh…I- doesn’t he wanna go home? It’s pretty late…don’t wanna keep him coz of me.”
Sesshoumaru looked at him blankly for a moment. Then he seemed to understand that Inuyasha was concerned for the servant.
“The servants live on the grounds. They are quite used to working all hours of day and night.”
Inuyasha was itching to say something against this but held his tongue with difficulty. He looked worriedly at the glass of wine in his hand and put it down on the table. The last thing he needed tonight was to get drunk in Sesshoumaru’s room.
“Tell me about Naraku,” Sesshoumaru said abruptly.
Inuyasha’s head snapped to him, startled. “Wha-?”
Sesshoumaru sipped from his glass. “I apologize if it causes you pain. I would like to know…but if it is too difficult-“
“No, it’s alright,” Inuyasha sighed. He could handle it, really. He’d never really talked to anyone about it. Maybe it would be good to get it off his chest.
“It’s just,” he looked away feeling awkward. “It’s kind of a long story. Don’t really know how to start.”
“How old were you when he…?”
Inuyasha stared absently at a design on the carpet broodingly. “I was- I was 15 in human terms, I guess, when he really…I mean…”
Inuyasha swallowed nervously and grabbed his almost empty glass of wine again. Sesshoumaru took the wine bottle on the table and poured him a generous measure.
The demon prince watched, eyes dark, as the half-demon swallowed almost the entire thing in one go.
“I had known Naraku since I was much younger, almost as long as I remember, actually. He was a sort of favorite uncle coz he was a hanyou too and seemed like such a decent guy when I was little.”
His mouth twisted in a bitter look as he remembered the kind man who used to bring him gifts. Inuyasha used to ‘secretly’ confide all his problems to him because as a hanyou, Naraku had seemed to understand just what he meant. His mother used to look so anxious and upset when he told her anything that after a while, he stopped telling her.
“He became a sort of father for me; the only friend I ever had. I used ta tell him everything and he’d be perfect – understanding and compassionate.”
He snorted at the last term.
“Your father?” Sesshoumaru asked.
Inuyasha shook his head. “I’ve never known my father. I mean, ma told me I lived with him when I was very little but I don’t remember him at all. And the years are all screwed up coz half demons and humans and demons all age differently. I remember living with my mom since I was little more than 5…I don’t know how many years that actually was….about 50 or so probably. My mum told me my father was very powerful so I age very slowly. Mum herself is pretty old now – when father mated with her, her aging slowed. But she doesn’t know how long she’ll really live coz we don’t know of any other human mated to a youkai.
Inuyasha had to swallow the lump in his throat and the terrifying he got in his chest when he thought of anything happening to his mother.
“It’s said she should live as long as father is alive but even now, she looked middle aged and like I told ya, I’m 263 so…”
“Your mother knew Naraku?”
Inuyasha nodded slowly. “Mum said he’s the husband of a long lost friend of hers, Kikyou, but I don’t know much about that. Only thing is, she talked politely and respectfully to him but she used to get really upset whenever he came around but at the time, I never knew why and I remember thinkin she was just bein’ silly like a ‘girl’.”
Inuyasha smiled thinly and Sesshoumaru could see in his eyes the desperate desire to go back and make it right…
“Naraku was my ideal at the time. He gave me the strength to get through the shit that half breeds have to take from everyone. He used ta tell me he went through the same and I used ta think, if he could grow up and be like him – strong and a gentleman – I could too.”
He remembered the quiet, dark haired man who used to be so kind and courteous to his mother. The way his violet eyes shone with concern when he told him something bad that happened to him, the way he would hold the young hanyou’s hand comfortingly…
“He was nice to ma but she always seemed a little scared of him. But ma was always a bit cautious and suspicious of everyone so I didn’t think anything strange. I never noticed, till much, much later when it was far too late, the way she used to keep away from him, answer him as shortly as possible. I’m sure she’d never have even let him into the house if I hadn’t gotten so attached to him.”
He sighed, the deepest regret that he carried weighing heavily on his heart. All this never would have happened, his mother would never be in any danger if he’d only listened to her…
A 6 year old Inuyasha beamed at his mother-
“But why, ma? He’s a very nice man! I like him, ma, he gets me!”
Izayoi looked at her little boy, torn.
“Inuyasha…he’s…you’ll get other friends, my boy…Naraku-san…is not a nice man.”
Little Inuyasha wrenched himself away from her and glared with all the innocent hurt and anger of a 6 year old.
“I won’t!” he’d shouted, trying to keep the tears from his eyes. “The other kids laugh at me and make fun of me! Naraku-san knows what it feels like, you don’t! You just don’t get it!”
Izayoi looked helplessly at her son, knowing he was probably right; she had no idea how to deal with bullies. The princess of a very wealthy kingdom knew nothing of being rejected and mocked as a child. The boy needed a father, but not Naraku, never him…
“I-I’ll never talk to you again if you send Naraku-san away! I won’t!” Inuyasha finally lost his battle with tears and fell sobbing into his mother’s arms who held him close, murmuring comforting words into her son’s ears. When he’d calmed down a little, she knelt in front of him and forced him to look into her eyes.
“Inuyasha, I want you to listen very carefully to me.” Inuyasha stopped sniffling at the serious look in her eyes that he was sure he had not seen before.
“Has Naraku-san ever…touched you?”
Inuyasha cocked his head. “Touched? You mean like held my hand and stuff?”
Izayoi pressed her lips together and shook her head, wondering how to even ask something like this. “No I mean…anywhere else…”
Inuyasha shook his head, confused. “No he just holds my hand sometimes when I’m upset, that’s all. Why?”
Izayoi released a very relieved breath and pressed her child to her bosom. “Nothing, Inuyasha…forget about it…”
Maybe Naraku wasn’t that much of a bastard. Maybe Inuyasha was safe and she was just being paranoid. The boy had seen too much harshness in life…so what if Naraku was a bastard to everyone else, to her? He seemed to genuinely care for the boy… If he gave a little bit of what she couldn’t give to her boy, what was the harm…
Inuyasha clutched the glass in his hand harshly.
“It was many, many years later that I’d understand what she’d tried to ask me that day. It’s not ma’s fault she loved me so much. She thought she was doing a good thing for me…she’d have endured anything for me…”
“But the touches didn’t stay innocent for long…” Inuyasha’s voice was almost a whisper now. “The pats on the hand turned into pats on the shoulder, fatherly hugs…”
“Then one afternoon, I was alone at Naraku-san’s house…”
______________________________________________ __________________________
A/N: I’ve tried to make some things clear while, at the same time, maintaining Sesshoumaru’s mystery. If you have any questions, feel free to ask. They will probably get answered as the story progresses but if there are any inconsistencies, I’ll do something about them
Do tell me what you think!
P.S. Masamune is a real historical figure, considered the greatest swordsmith ever.
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Inuyasha did not know how far or how long he’d been running; he didn’t even know where he was going. All he knew was that he had to get away…from that school, from Sesshoumaru, from his first real relationship, from the first guy he’d ever really felt something for…
Even as he felt a familiar, dull ache in his heart, Inuyasha could not help berate himself for his idiocy. Why couldn’t he have kept his damn mouth shut? Who revealed such personal things about himself after only a few days? Hell, most people didn’t have such screwed up secrets. Most people worried about normal stuff like appearance, does he like me, is he playing with me…oh god, what wouldn’t he give for a normal life, for normal worries like those?
And the worst part was, he couldn’t even blame Sesshoumaru. Even a damn saint couldn’t be expected to be understanding of such things and by all accounts, Sesshoumaru was no saint. The guy wanted the best in everything; figured he’d want perfection in his relationships as well…
-then why did you choose me in the first place?-
But he disregarded that voice. It didn’t matter why the demon prince had chosen him. Even if he was broadminded enough to not mind going out with a hanyou, there was no way he’d even look at a screwed up case like him. The guy was so decorous that he hadn’t even touched him on their first date. The only contact he’d had from Sesshoumaru was a warm embrace that was only comforting. That’s what he would have now; a memory. Only a memory of warm, strong arms around him and the pure demon’s spicy, beautiful scent. There would be no more late night conversations, no more pinning after the unattainable, no more dirty fantasies.
Well he didn’t think he could really help the pinning and the fantasies but now, there was not even a sliver of a chance they could come true. Once again, he was alone and it was his own damn fault.
-but it’s better this way…loneliness is better than rejection-
He shook his head, trying to clear those thoughts. No dammit! He didn’t want to be lonely, didn’t want to be alone anymore. He wanted him back.
I wish I could take back every single fucking word I said, he thought angrily.
Yes, then the relationship wouldn’t have been totally honest and forthcoming but what relationships were, really? He was an idiot to run after the ideal of a relationship where both partners understood each other completely. That was childish; showed his immaturity. If he’d only kept his damn mouth shut, at least he would still have a relationship.
As something whipped across his face, he suddenly snapped out of his thoughts and rook stock of the surroundings. There was nothing but tress all around…in his agitated state, he had run into the forest; old habits die hard, after all. He finally stopped, panting for breath. He had literally run for miles; the town was far behind now. He hadn’t even realized when he’d entered the forest. He was probably in the heart of the forest by now. It was getting very dark. He had to get out of here…
“Are you finished running?”
His heart accelerated, then stuttered at the deep, melodious voice he’d never expected to hear addressed to him again. He looked up slowly, reluctant to destroy whatever illusion his mind was creating.
But it wasn’t an illusion. Sesshoumaru was really there, looking at him through his inscrutable eyes, not a hair out of place as if he’d been waiting for Inuyasha…
“How’d you know I’d be here?” Inuyasha demanded, trying to keep his voice from shaking. He himself had not known where he was going.
Sesshoumaru raised an eyebrow. “I followed you.”
Inuyasha snorted. “Yeah right. You got here before me.” God it was painful to even look at him now.
“Flying is considerable faster than running.”
Inuyasha said nothing. The silence in a few seconds grew heavy as the unasked question hung between them, the sounds of his still uneven breathing, way too loud in the suddenly all too quiet forest.
Finally, he had to ask.
“Why’d you come?”
Sesshoumaru smiled his quiet smile and began to walk slowly towards him. “Because I will not allow you to run away from me.”
Inuyasha felt suddenly nervous
-like a cornered prey-
Sesshoumaru had behaved like a perfect gentleman so far yet strangely, everything about him seemed predatory.
“Whaddya mean?” he asked, unwilling to allow himself even the slightest hope.
“You did not wait for my response before you took off so dramatically.” Sesshoumaru was very close now and Inuyasha felt his cheeks turn slightly pink. He backed away slightly,
“Well, say it,” Inuyasha demanded, trying to hide how nervous he was, “What’d ya come to say?”
He’d thought Sesshoumaru was going to hit him, pull him close, kiss him…or something, hell, a part of him was hoping he’d do that but –
“Are you in love with Naraku?”
Inuyasha’s ears flattened at the question. Is this what he’d wanted? To taunt and humiliate him? But he supposed he’d asked for it, considering what he’d revealed. Anyone would assume he was twisted…and they wouldn’t be too wrong.
“No, I’m not,” he replied, shoulders slumping in defeat. “Look, I know it’s hard to believe but I didn’t like what he did to me, okay? I cried the whole time…”
His voice trailed of, eyes glazing over as he remembered.
“I can’t…I can’t tell you how disgusted I am with myself for…for thinking of him when- but it’s the only way I can live with it,” he finished softly, not looking at the demon prince.
“Look at me.”
Inuyasha turned around hesitantly and slowly raised his eyes to look at Sesshoumaru.
“Will you be mine?”
The question shocked him so much that Inuyasha froze, mouth hanging slightly open.
“What?” he finally managed to ask in a strangled voice.
Sesshoumaru looked at him seriously. “I asked you that because I do not share. If there is someone else in your life, tell me now. However, once I claim you, I will not tolerate another in your thoughts. If you are mine, you belong to me completely.”
Inuyasha scowled. “What the fuck are you on about? You expect me to belong to you for life? What the hell do you take me for?”
His eyes darkened. “What Naraku did to me was because I had no choice. Hell, I’d go through it again if it meant my mother remained safe but if you think for one second, I’m going to let your stuck up ass order me around for life, I’m gonna-“
He snarled irritable as Sesshoumaru laughed, low and soft. “The times when mates were claimed after a few days of courting are long past, Inuyasha.” He gazed of into the distance, as if he were remembering…
“I did not ask you to be my mate. Dog demons mate for life and in the case of a pureblood, a lifetime is a very long time indeed. I assume you have never been with a demon in the past.”
Inuyasha turned pink and shook his head grudgingly.
“I know some alphas require complete obedience from their submissive.”
Inuyasha opened his mouth to protest but closed it again when Sesshoumaru continued.
“That is not what I ask of you. However, if our relationship is to progress, once I touch you-“
Inuyasha’s face turned from flushed pink to bright red.
“- you will not be allowed to touch another, or even think of another, so long as we are together. If for any reason, either one of us develops feelings for another, we first end the relationship, then go our separate ways. If you betray me in any way during that time, the consequences will be dire- for you and for the other.”
Inuyasha was looking at him uncertainly. “A-aren’t you weirded out by what I told you?” he swallowed, ears flickering nervously. “You’re a pureblood prince. You can keep yourself away from my darkness.” He did not have the nerve to meet his eyes. “Why would you still want me?” he asked in a small voice.
Sesshoumaru smiled slightly. “I know far more about darkness than you, Inuyasha. The darkness in your life was the fault of another. Do not shoulder the weight of it for it does not taint who you are.”
Inuyasha stared down at the dirty ground, tears welling up.
“You don’t know nothin’ about me…it does, it does…”
Strong fingers raised his head up. “It does not. I can see it in your eyes.”
The tears fell, chest tight with shame and gratefulness. Such kindness and compassion in a prince! All those who called him a heartless monster were desperately wrong. He doubted anyone could be as forgiving as this man in front of him was being.
I will never be able equal to you…
Unknown to Inuyasha, Sesshoumaru gave him a knowing look. He knew what was going through the hanyou’s mind. If only he knew the real truth about him…dark deeds seemed pale in comparison to much darker ones. Inuyasha had no idea what he was getting himself into.
He refocused on Inuyasha as the hanyou took a deep breath. “Will you be faithful to me?” he asked in a small voice.
“Of course,” Sesshoumaru replied readily.
Inuyasha nodded, feeling as if he was taking a very big step on an uncharted way. “Ok then. I will be yours, Sesshoumaru.”
Sesshoumaru smiled that rare smile which sent a shiver up Inuyasha’s spine. Then he stepped closer.
It took every ounce of Inuyasha’s will to not back away. He’d wished and hoped for this but now that it was actually happening, he was hyperventilating. Images of the dark hanyou filled his mind; the way he’d claimed his mouth, made his skin crawl, made bile rise up in his throat. What if that happened with Sesshoumaru? How was he going to explain to him that he reminded him of his molester? He would surely take some other meaning from.
The demon Prince wound an arm around his waist and gently pulled him closer. Then he was bending towards him and Inuyasha closed his eyes, his entire body tensed.
But he needn’t have worried. Sesshoumaru’s touch was nothing like Naraku’s. The dark hanyou had held him firmly by his neck, crushing his smirking mouth to Inuyasha’s unresponsive one. He had tasted foul – like toxic fumes and something decaying. But when Sesshoumaru’s lips closed over his, he tasted like winter and warmth- something cool yet comforting. There was no other way of describing it. The demon Lord’s tongue gently flicked against his closed lips and he relaxed, granting him entrance. He felt relief flood through him. He didn’t feel like throwing up. He could bear the demon Lord’s touch.
And with Sesshoumaru holding him close, and kissing him so sweetly, Inuyasha was very aware of the fact that his member was entirely limp.
____________________________________________________________ ____________
“I-I guess I will see ya ‘round,” Inuyasha mumbled shakily, feeling embarrassed.
Standing around had been a bit…awkward…after the kiss, at least for him. He’d never been in such a situation before. What was he supposed to do? And it didn’t help that Sesshoumaru was staring at him like was a particularly interesting food item. That, and the demon Prince’s face could be carved out of marble.
He had seen the displeasure in Sesshoumaru’s eyes when he’d failed to respond to the kiss but it really couldn’t be helped. This was all he was capable of at the moment.
“Wait,” Sesshoumaru called.
Inuyasha turned. The forest was already quite dark. In an hour or so, it would be pitch dark. Everyone knew forests were not safe at night, unless one wasn’t averse to fighting blood thirsty demons.
“Would like to return home with me?”
Inuyasha stared, heart beating faster. “With you?” Was the guy asking him to sleep with him?
He was both relieved and disappointed when Sesshomaru added, “You may have a room to yourself. Perhaps you would not like to sleep alone in the house tonight.”
Inuyasha swallowed. He couldn’t deny that he’d been dreading just that; the nightmares that would surely come after a day like this. But going home with Sesshoumaru?
“N-no, thanks,” he said awkwardly. “I wouldn’t want to impose. I’ll be fine.”
“It is no trouble,” Sesshoumaru assured him. A guest room is always kept ready in case we have unexpected guests.”
When Inuyasha still looked hesitant, he smirked. “Or are you afraid of me, Inuyasha?”
Inuyasha glared at him and scowled. “Shut up!”
He huffed. “Ok, thanks, I guess. But I don’t have my stuff…”
Sesshoumaru brushed that concern aside.
“So, how’re we gonna get out of here? You know I can’t keep up with you…”
He stepped forward. “Hold on to me tightly.”
Inuyasha looked at him suspiciously. “Excuse me?”
Sesshoumaru rolled his eyes. “I will transport us to the mansion. Just hold on.”
“Hold on where?” Inuyasha asked.
The demon prince smirked. “Anywhere.”
For some reason, Inuyasha turned red at that remark.
“I-I can find my way back, you know,” he stated. “You-you can go…”
“It is not safe for you to be alone in the forest at night.”
“I’ve been in forests at night before,” Inuyasha insisted. “I can take care of myself.”
Sesshoumaru shook his head. “Not this forest.”
Inuyasha frowned. “Whaddya mean? What’s different about this forest?”
Sesshoumaru didn’t answer that, only stood there waiting. Inuyasha finally gave up. After muttering something about arrogant demons, he held on to Sesshoumaru’s arm.
“Do not let go,” was the only warning he got.
_____________________________________________________________ ___________
A minute later, Inuyasha still clutched Sesshoumaru’s arm tightly when they landed in the prince’s front yard.
“Are you alright?” Sesshoumaru asked and Inuyasha bristled at the hint of smugness in his voice.
“Th-that was-“ Inuyasha swallowed, still dizzy. “-fast.” He finished lamely.
Well, that was an understatement, considering they’d just traveled at the speed of light.
Sesshoumaru only smirked in response.
“Come in. It is cold outside.”
It was, but not really chilly. After regaining his balance, Inuyasha finally looked properly at the mansion. It was lit skillfully with understated but powerful lights. But there wasn’t need for too many lights. The moon was almost full tonight and in the large front yard, the moon cast a lovely light.
“Your home is beautiful at night,” Inuyasha said, turning back towards his boyfriend.
He was startled to find Sesshoumaru very close behind him. The prince looked breathtaking in the moonlight, golden eyes glowing. Sesshoumaru lowered his head so it was almost level with Inuyasha’s.
“Many things are more beautiful in the moonlight.”
His intense gaze made Inuyasha feel exposed.
Then the spell was broken as Sesshoumaru walked towards the doors of the mansion ahead of him. The guards bowed to him and let them both pass. Sesshoumaru led him past a huge, beautiful main hall and up a flight of winding, deceptively fragile looking marble stairs.
Inuyasha looked around at the beautiful house with mouth slightly open. He hadn’t seen this part of his house when he had come here last. In comparison, his own house seemed like a hovel.
“Your parents aren’t around?” he asked as Sesshoumaru led him down seemingly endless corridors.
“They are not in town at the moment,” Sesshoumaru replied, finally walking to a door and pushing it open, gesturing for Inuyasha to enter.
Inuyasha walked into the dark room. Sesshoumaru flipped a switch and closed the door behind him.
“Th-this…this is your room?” Inuyasha stammered, eyes trying to take in everything at once.
It was huge and spacious, light colors giving it an open, free look. Delicate sculptures and vases were adroitly placed around the room so that none dominated the look of the room, yet at the same time, they were clearly visible. Unlike the rest of the house that was a more or less equal blend of modern technology and old architecture, the look of this room was somehow reminiscent of an older time. It was strange; there was nothing that one could point out that gave the look. There was no four-poster bed, lanterns. The windows and a door that presumably led out into a terrace were simple but elegant, the bed was a modern metal framed though obviously custom made – none of the ready made ones would be so huge. But some of the furniture – the beautiful carved wooden table that now served as a coffee table, the dresser – was antique. And above the bed-
“Is that a tachi??”
Sesshoumaru followed Inuyasha’s eyes. “Yes it is.”
“It’s beautiful! I’ve never seen one like it…”
Sesshoumaru looked away proceeding to the sitting area, pouring two glasses of wine. “It is an original Masamune.”
Inuyasha whirled around, jaw dropped. “That’s an- y-you’re kidding me! A Masamune???! There are like only a handful of those in the world!”
Sesshoumaru gestured for him to sit down. “Indeed.”
“Bu-but it’s – that’s priceless,” Inuyasha protested. “You can’t keep that in your house!”
Sesshoumaru raised an eyebrow and Inuyasha blushed.
“Sorry, I-I mean, obviously you can but aren’t you afraid of being robbed?”
Sesshoumaru smiled that smile that made Inuyasha uneasy for some reason. “It is quite safe in this house.”
Inuyasha looked at him unsurely, then followed him to the comfortable looking couch and sat down.
“Your room’s great,” Inuyasha told him, accepting the glass of wine offered rather apprehensively. He really wasn’t a big fan of wine but to be polite, he took a sip. His eyes opened in surprise as he looked at the red wine in his glass. That tastes amazing!
“Thank you,” Sesshoumaru responded.
There was a knock on the door. After receiving permission, he entered, walking up to the two. Inuyasha looked at him, frowning. Once again, he was struck by that sense that there was something not quite right there. The way he walked with rigid steps, his very proper posture and gestures that did not seem forced or learnt, the way he kept his eyes to the floor.
“Sesshoumaru-sama?” he asked respectfully. He looked inquiringly at the demon Lord. Sesshoumaru had called him?
“Prepare the guest room for Inuyasha.”
Inuyasha was surprised as the servant bowed respectfully and left, without a hint of resistance or resentment. He seemed quite happy.
“Uh…I- doesn’t he wanna go home? It’s pretty late…don’t wanna keep him coz of me.”
Sesshoumaru looked at him blankly for a moment. Then he seemed to understand that Inuyasha was concerned for the servant.
“The servants live on the grounds. They are quite used to working all hours of day and night.”
Inuyasha was itching to say something against this but held his tongue with difficulty. He looked worriedly at the glass of wine in his hand and put it down on the table. The last thing he needed tonight was to get drunk in Sesshoumaru’s room.
“Tell me about Naraku,” Sesshoumaru said abruptly.
Inuyasha’s head snapped to him, startled. “Wha-?”
Sesshoumaru sipped from his glass. “I apologize if it causes you pain. I would like to know…but if it is too difficult-“
“No, it’s alright,” Inuyasha sighed. He could handle it, really. He’d never really talked to anyone about it. Maybe it would be good to get it off his chest.
“It’s just,” he looked away feeling awkward. “It’s kind of a long story. Don’t really know how to start.”
“How old were you when he…?”
Inuyasha stared absently at a design on the carpet broodingly. “I was- I was 15 in human terms, I guess, when he really…I mean…”
Inuyasha swallowed nervously and grabbed his almost empty glass of wine again. Sesshoumaru took the wine bottle on the table and poured him a generous measure.
The demon prince watched, eyes dark, as the half-demon swallowed almost the entire thing in one go.
“I had known Naraku since I was much younger, almost as long as I remember, actually. He was a sort of favorite uncle coz he was a hanyou too and seemed like such a decent guy when I was little.”
His mouth twisted in a bitter look as he remembered the kind man who used to bring him gifts. Inuyasha used to ‘secretly’ confide all his problems to him because as a hanyou, Naraku had seemed to understand just what he meant. His mother used to look so anxious and upset when he told her anything that after a while, he stopped telling her.
“He became a sort of father for me; the only friend I ever had. I used ta tell him everything and he’d be perfect – understanding and compassionate.”
He snorted at the last term.
“Your father?” Sesshoumaru asked.
Inuyasha shook his head. “I’ve never known my father. I mean, ma told me I lived with him when I was very little but I don’t remember him at all. And the years are all screwed up coz half demons and humans and demons all age differently. I remember living with my mom since I was little more than 5…I don’t know how many years that actually was….about 50 or so probably. My mum told me my father was very powerful so I age very slowly. Mum herself is pretty old now – when father mated with her, her aging slowed. But she doesn’t know how long she’ll really live coz we don’t know of any other human mated to a youkai.
Inuyasha had to swallow the lump in his throat and the terrifying he got in his chest when he thought of anything happening to his mother.
“It’s said she should live as long as father is alive but even now, she looked middle aged and like I told ya, I’m 263 so…”
“Your mother knew Naraku?”
Inuyasha nodded slowly. “Mum said he’s the husband of a long lost friend of hers, Kikyou, but I don’t know much about that. Only thing is, she talked politely and respectfully to him but she used to get really upset whenever he came around but at the time, I never knew why and I remember thinkin she was just bein’ silly like a ‘girl’.”
Inuyasha smiled thinly and Sesshoumaru could see in his eyes the desperate desire to go back and make it right…
“Naraku was my ideal at the time. He gave me the strength to get through the shit that half breeds have to take from everyone. He used ta tell me he went through the same and I used ta think, if he could grow up and be like him – strong and a gentleman – I could too.”
He remembered the quiet, dark haired man who used to be so kind and courteous to his mother. The way his violet eyes shone with concern when he told him something bad that happened to him, the way he would hold the young hanyou’s hand comfortingly…
“He was nice to ma but she always seemed a little scared of him. But ma was always a bit cautious and suspicious of everyone so I didn’t think anything strange. I never noticed, till much, much later when it was far too late, the way she used to keep away from him, answer him as shortly as possible. I’m sure she’d never have even let him into the house if I hadn’t gotten so attached to him.”
He sighed, the deepest regret that he carried weighing heavily on his heart. All this never would have happened, his mother would never be in any danger if he’d only listened to her…
A 6 year old Inuyasha beamed at his mother-
“But why, ma? He’s a very nice man! I like him, ma, he gets me!”
Izayoi looked at her little boy, torn.
“Inuyasha…he’s…you’ll get other friends, my boy…Naraku-san…is not a nice man.”
Little Inuyasha wrenched himself away from her and glared with all the innocent hurt and anger of a 6 year old.
“I won’t!” he’d shouted, trying to keep the tears from his eyes. “The other kids laugh at me and make fun of me! Naraku-san knows what it feels like, you don’t! You just don’t get it!”
Izayoi looked helplessly at her son, knowing he was probably right; she had no idea how to deal with bullies. The princess of a very wealthy kingdom knew nothing of being rejected and mocked as a child. The boy needed a father, but not Naraku, never him…
“I-I’ll never talk to you again if you send Naraku-san away! I won’t!” Inuyasha finally lost his battle with tears and fell sobbing into his mother’s arms who held him close, murmuring comforting words into her son’s ears. When he’d calmed down a little, she knelt in front of him and forced him to look into her eyes.
“Inuyasha, I want you to listen very carefully to me.” Inuyasha stopped sniffling at the serious look in her eyes that he was sure he had not seen before.
“Has Naraku-san ever…touched you?”
Inuyasha cocked his head. “Touched? You mean like held my hand and stuff?”
Izayoi pressed her lips together and shook her head, wondering how to even ask something like this. “No I mean…anywhere else…”
Inuyasha shook his head, confused. “No he just holds my hand sometimes when I’m upset, that’s all. Why?”
Izayoi released a very relieved breath and pressed her child to her bosom. “Nothing, Inuyasha…forget about it…”
Maybe Naraku wasn’t that much of a bastard. Maybe Inuyasha was safe and she was just being paranoid. The boy had seen too much harshness in life…so what if Naraku was a bastard to everyone else, to her? He seemed to genuinely care for the boy… If he gave a little bit of what she couldn’t give to her boy, what was the harm…
Inuyasha clutched the glass in his hand harshly.
“It was many, many years later that I’d understand what she’d tried to ask me that day. It’s not ma’s fault she loved me so much. She thought she was doing a good thing for me…she’d have endured anything for me…”
“But the touches didn’t stay innocent for long…” Inuyasha’s voice was almost a whisper now. “The pats on the hand turned into pats on the shoulder, fatherly hugs…”
“Then one afternoon, I was alone at Naraku-san’s house…”
______________________________________________ __________________________
A/N: I’ve tried to make some things clear while, at the same time, maintaining Sesshoumaru’s mystery. If you have any questions, feel free to ask. They will probably get answered as the story progresses but if there are any inconsistencies, I’ll do something about them
Do tell me what you think!
P.S. Masamune is a real historical figure, considered the greatest swordsmith ever.
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