InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Beyond Friendship: Be Who You Are ❯ Letting Go ( Chapter 10 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

A/N: I am sorry to have kept you all waiting so long. Thank you too all my readers, and especially reviewers, because of whom this story is being continued after a while.

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Chapter 10 – Letting Go

 

The royal family was resplendent in clothes which were at once festive and formal.

 

Youkai of the highest ranks would gather here, in the palace of the Lord of the West, in all their finery for the annual meeting that Sesshoumaru remembered happening since his childhood.

 

The palace was actually a castle, but looking at it, no one would guess it. White marble covered the entire exterior of the structure, including the floor of the various spacious terraces on each floor, ingeniously arranged to look symmetrical, and at the same time not hindering the view from each of them. Not a hint of solid rock that the castle was made of showed on the outside, decorated as it was by delicate sculptures and designs.

 

 When night fell, the palace would be ethereal in shimmering lights. Pleasant chit chat would subtly turn to business, and in the midst of barbed compliments and arguments disguised as discussions, a great portion of the future and fate of the Western lands for the coming year would get decided.

 

The only thing conspicuous by its absence from the festivities was alcohol. Shinegawa was a town inhabited principally by humans. It would not do for youkai to lose control in their intoxicated state and do something untoward.

 

Only once the party was over and the guests were gone, would the Taisho family indulge in some of the finest absinthe. Sesshoumaru would have a few sips to be polite, but he would abstain from really drinking. It wasn’t that he did not have self-control to be mindful of his actions under the influence of alcohol, but he wasn’t fond of being restrained if he did decide to drink.

 

But as he landed lightly on one of the terraces, servants hurrying towards him with wide eyes, and thoughts of Inuyasha trailing in after him unbidden, he decided he would make an exception today. It had been so long, after all.

 

Inuyasha walked aimlessly around the neighbourhood while waiting for his mother to prepare lunch. The air inside his little home had suddenly become stifling and he found himself stumbling over a pebble in an alley behind his home before he fully realized what he was doing.

 

He had only been gone a few months but everything seemed different, duller somehow. Like there was more dust on things than there had been earlier. And the smells were more stale and depressing than before. Even his house had seemed different. Had the roof of his house always been so low?

 

And the pebble he stumbled on had probably always been there, but in all his two hundred odd years, he had never once stumbled on it. Almost as if the place didn’t really want him back here anymore.

 

Like his mother didn’t want him dating Sesshoumaru.

 

It was a bizzare thought and in no way connected to his earlier train of thoughts, but it left him winded just the same.

 

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For the first time since he could remember, Sesshoumaru found his father’s talk boring.

 

Business was just dull and pointless and neverending, and Sesshoumaru found himself zoning out, tuning out the discussions happening, tuning out the introductions and the niceties and the calculating diplomacy. He found himself concentrating on the dull ache in his heart that was the reminder that the hanyou, his hanyou, wasn’t who he had made him up to be in his head, and that he was just another meaningless fancy, rendered all the more meaningless by his mixed heritage.

 

It was afternoon before Inuyasha realized that he had been searching for the Taisho mansion.

 

He had scoured the whole town, and he didn’t know why he thought a huge structure would just appear today when he was searching for it when he knew every inch of his town since childhood and he knew very well no such mansion existed.

 

Still, he knew there must be one if Sesshoumaru lived here even for a day. He couldn’t imagine the prick living in a ryoukan even for a day, much less the Lord Inu no Taisho.

 

One he had run the length of the perimeter of the town twice, Inuyasha finally stopped in a weed-filled, wildly overgown clearing and sat down on his haunches. His mother would be waiting for him. She would have made lunch. He should go back.

 

He couldn’t bring himself to move.

 

He wanted to cry, but no tears would come, because nothing had really happened. He hadn’t broken up with Sesshoumaru. It wasn’t like he would never see the man again. It’s not like Naraku was around anymore. He didn’t have to live in this depressing little town anymore; he could go. He would go.

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When the important talks were over, Sesshoumaru excused himself. Not long ago, he would have savoured every moment he got to be in his father’s presence. But today his mind was in turmoil, and he didn’t want to be around these people, didn’t want to be here.

 

The night was windy and cool. The bite of winter was in the air.  Sesshoumaru looked up at the sky from his balcony and took a sip of the drink in his hand.

 

The whole town was visible from this vantage point. It wasn’t the best behaviour to disappear from such an important gathering, but he knew his father would excuse him this once. It wasn’t like had been distracted like this in a long time.

 

That Inuyasha should have belonged to this town, where he had spent so much of his life, was still something he hadn’t come to terms with. Of course it wasn’t like he had gone out of his way to meet anyone in the one horse town, and there was no way a taiyoukai and a hanyou ran in the same circles, but still.

 

The realization from the other day still weighed heavily on him; Inuyasha didn’t want to know him. He didn’t want to get to know the real him, didn’t want to know anything farther than what he showed the world. He had gotten to know the boy inside out, but Inuyasha didn’t care that way, didn’t think of him like that.

 

Why had he thought the hanyou was different? Even though he had know the boy for just a few days…

 

He downed the remaining absinthe in one gulp.

 

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 “I know you can’t hear me,” Inuyasha said, looking up at the sky and the tree tops swaying in the wind. “But I need to say it ‘cause otherwise I’ll lose it.”

 

He took a deep breath.

“I can’t be with you.”

 

Fingers clenched tightly.

 

“Don’t ask me to explain… coz I can’t. And I want you to know that it’s nothing you’ve done”

He smiled bitterly. “Coz you’re perfect.”

 

White bangs tossing over determined eyes that were not watery. At all.

 

“I don’t think I’d be able to say this to ya if you were here in front of me; hell, I feel like I’m dyin’ just saying it to the empty air here. It’s the hardest thing I’ve ever said and done.”

 

Inuyasha’s voice trembled. But the empty space and the vast sky and the blowing wind gave him courage to continue.

 

“I don’t know how I’ll survive each day of school. I don’t know how I’ll ever look at you again and not stabbing myself in the heart.”

 

A muddy hand angrily dashed away the tears that stubbornly trailed down his cheeks.

 

Inuyasha looked down. He knew there was no one around for miles. But his voice still dropped to a whisper.

                                                                                                                     

“I’ve chosen another person over ma once. I won’t do that again. She doesn’t deserve that.”

 

Inuyasha gritted his teeth to keep his face from betraying him.

 

“I don’t know her reasons and I owe her one so I won’t ask.”

 

“Goodbye, Sesshoumaru,” he said outloud again, looking up at the sky.

 

He turned and headed back home.

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“Lunch is ready,” was all Izayoi said to him when he returned. He didn’t have to look at her eyes to tell that she had been crying.

 

They had the meal in almost complete silence. Once they were done and the dishes had been cleaned and put away, Inuyasha and Izayoi came out sat in front of the stream as it was their habit to do. It was the one spot in the town that Inuyasha didn’t find depressing. The soft sound of the stream flowing by helped ease the heavy silence between them.

 

“He’s here, you know,” Inuyasha finally said. Izayoi looked up, startled. “Sesshoumaru. He’s here in town with his family on some business.”

 

Izayoi said nothing but Inuyasha couldn’t shake the feeling that she looked relieved. She twisted the blades of grass in her hands in meaningless shapes.

 

“I went to look for him,” Inuyasha continued, watching his mother carefully. Izayoi tensed, just as he’d expected. “To tell him I won’t see him anymore once we get back to the city,” he continued.

 

Izayoi looked up at him in disbelief. “I wouldn’t do that to you again,” Inuyasha said lightly but the words were too heavy. Izayoi looked away, her face blank.

 

“But I couldn’t find him,” he continued as though nothing had happened. “His palace or castle or…whatever. I couldn’t find any sign of him all over town.”

 

“Lord Inu no Taisho’s mansion is at the outskirts of the city protected by a spell,” Izayoi said throwing the shapes of grass she had woven into the stream, watching them float away merrily. “It can’t be seen from the outside unless one is invited in.”

 

Inuyasha turned to her in surprise. “How do you know?” he asked incredulously.

 

Izayoi got up and stumbled on the edges of her kimono. Inuyasha was at her side in an instant, ready to catch her.

 

“It is common knowledge,” she replied, turning away from him, beginning to walk towards their home. The lie surprised him and Inuyasha stood still for a moment staring after her. It wasn’t like her to lie to him. About anything.

 

But Izayoi was already a ways ahead of him and Inuyasha followed her without a word.

 

The rest of the day was weighed down by even more silence and lying in his bed in the dark, Inuyasha stared out the window at the stars and wondered what the hell was going on.

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A delicate hand poured absinthe into Sesshoumaru’s glass. The hand was wrapped in heavy chains.

 

The chains clanked together as the boy withdrew to stand in a discreet corner with the pitcher of absinthe that was half empty by now.

 

On the floor, another small, delicate boy, wearing only a small loincloth, chains on his wrists and ankles and around his neck crawled between the couple standing against a wall and kissing passionately, their heavy chains entangling as they held each other.

 

Another pair fucked on the floor, the slender beautiful submissive on his hands and knees with a cock ring around his dick, his seme groaning as he thrust in and out of his ass but being careful not to come without permission. They were not allowed to dirty Sesshoumaru-sama’s carpets. Both, the seme and the uke were in chains.

 

Sesshoumaru sat in a large, ornate chair that looked like a throne, one foot elevated on a footstool. The chair was made of solid rock, intricately carved at the head. The softest fur formed the seat and cushions. He watched his slaves with low-lidded, intoxicated eyes, head resting back, neck exposed carelessly. Years ago, an assassin disguised as a slave, painstakingly trained, had tried to slit his throat in this very position. The demon lord had torn his throat into half with just his fangs and watched him writhe and bleed out on the floor.

 

Though seemingly engrossed in each other, the boys were very aware of their Lord watching them, of his every gesture and glance. Sesshoumaru straightened slightly and the boy on the floor crawled to him. Sesshoumaru watched his progress lazily. The heavy chains, heavier than the boy slight body slowed him, made it effortful for him to move, but he moved none the less, dragging the chains behind him, stopping short at the demon Lord’s feet.

 

The demon Lord looked down dispassionately at him and upturned his glass, pouring down the little bit leftover drink it contained. The boy bent low skillfully and caught the drink in his mouth. A few drops spilled on the footstool. Sesshoumaru lifted his foot off it a little and the footstool lapped up the drops that had fallen on its knees that were right near his mouth, bent over as he was. The demon Lord’s weight returned on his back and it stilled.

 

So Inuyasha didn’t want to be with him anymore, did he… hnn. The halfbreed either had more nerve than anyone he’d ever known, or he was that ignorant. The latter was far more likely.

 

The fucking half-breed thought he could do whatever he liked. It was time to show him how wrong he was.

 

The demon lord got up elegantly from the chair. His steps were perfectly steady as he walked towards a couple, the seme receiving a blowjob from a small, slender boy who had the seme’s cock deep down his throat.

 

The seme straightened as he saw the demon Lord approach, even as he writhed with pleasure.

 

 

 

The submissive had his small mouth stretched completely around the rather large cock. He  had submitted completely, letting the large cock rest in his throat. He probably couldn’t breathe very well. Sesshoumaru allowed one clawed hand to tangle in the submissive’s beautiful curly hair.

 

The uke gasped and his eyes snapped open to stare at the youkai prince.

 

It was the highest praise a slave could hope for, to feel Sesshoumaru-sama’s touch. Many of his slaves went a life time without feeling it once. They all knew the demon Lord preferred to watch. And some of them were relieved it was so, because the rumors of what happened when the demon Lord did participate were enough to make even the hardened slaves’ skin crawl.

 

Today, Sesshoumaru merely wrenched the boy’s head back a little and watched his eyes for a few moments. The seme’s cock slipped out of his mouth. The submissive licked his swollen lips, making a valiant effort to meet intense golden eyes because he knew the Lord wanted to see them, but he couldn’t keep the fear out of his eyes.

 

He could break it off with Inuyasha before the hanyou had a chance to say anything to him, Sesshoumaru thought. The hanyou would probably always wonder what he had done wrong.

 

And if Sesshoumaru were a little less angry or a little less drunk, he might have let it go at that.

 

But he’d let loose tonight. His demon was was close to the surface, drugged with pleasure and fury. His emotions were free from the tight leash he usually kept on them.   

 

It was too kind, letting Inuyasha off with just a bit of guilt.

 

The demon Lord refocused on the boy whose head he had in his grasp. His youki was flaring with all his emotions; the submissive was almost trembling, eyes dark with delicious fear.

Sesshoumaru smiled.

 

The hanyou needed to be punished.

 

The submissive closed his eyes, unable to bear the taiyoukai’s intense gaze anymore.

 

Sesshoumaru released him and walked to the balcony. The room was located towards the back of the palace. It overlooked the town instead of the palace grounds or gardens. The chill night air hummed against his hot skin, electric with youki, his demon close to the surface.

 

“Get out,” Sesshoumaru ordered softly without turning around. There was a moment of utter silence as the boys’ groans and moans suddenly stopped. Then the clatter of chains told him his slaves were hastening to obey.

 

Within seconds, the room was empty.