InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Bittersweet ❯ Fools In Love ( Chapter 2 )

 

Title: Bittersweet.

By: Nikki. T. (Chibi-Inu13)

Genre: Angst, Romance, Drama

Rating: R/NC-17

Warnings: Contains Adult content. OOC

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters mentioned in this fic, they all belong to the talented Rumiko Takahashi.

Ship(s): I/K/M

Authors Notes: Begins approximately 5 years after prologue ended. Thanks to my beta readers for their fine editing work.

 

Part 2: Fools in Love

I'm talented at breathing, especially exhaling

So that my chest will rise and fall with yours

I'm careful not to wake you, fearing conversation

It's better just to hold you, and keep you pacified

-Dashboard Confessional Bend and Not Break

 

The sound of her breathing is what keeps you up. How slow and steady it sounds, as she sleeps peacefully beside you, her head resting against your arm. You listen to her breath -inhaling, exhaling. You try not to move, even though your arm is slowly going numb, afraid to wake her. So you stay still, watching her sleep, the rise and fall of her chest matching yours. Her lips are slightly parted with each shuddering breath she takes in, swollen and pink from the harsh kisses you two exchanged earlier.

 

The sound of breathing is what fills the room, yours and hers. The silence breaking with every shuddering breath she takes. To think that a few minutes ago the room was filled with heavy breathing, moans and gasps of fuck, right there, harder. It still surprises you that the girl who used to blush at the word sex would say such things, would do such things to you.

 

Closing your eyes, you find yourself replaying the night's events in your head, like some sort of silent slideshow playing over and over again. How she came into your house, collapsing into your arms a sobbing mess. Her eyes puffy and red as she looked into your eyes, a strange expression in hers. The feeling of her soft lips against yours as she kissed you. The stumbling and falling over furniture as you kissed her back, walking blindly towards the stairs. How you two nearly tumbled off the stairs, clawing at each other's clothes. The wall feeling cool and hard against your bare back as she pressed up against you, her breasts pressed against your chest. Her hand going inside your pants, grasping you, wrapping around you, pulling you closer to the edge. Running your hand along her inner thigh, spreading her legs apart. Long pale legs, rosy nipples, breasts that fitted perfectly in your hands. Tangled sheets around your legs, her moaning softly in your ear as you took a pert nipple in your mouth. Your eyes rolling to the back of your head as she took your cock in her mouth, so warm, so wet. Her tongue running down your chest towards your naval. Tasting yourself on her lips as you kissed her. Her back arching off the bed as your tongue circled her clit, running over it over and over and over. Her half-lidded eyes as she stared down at you; your tongue buried deep inside her. The look in her eyes, the deafening silence, as you finally sank into her. The thoughts of so warm, so tight, so wet in your head. The sweat, the screams, the gasps of fuck, harder, faster breathed hotly in your ear. The sound of your flesh smacking together. Legs wrapped around your waist, bringing you closer, making you increase the tempo of your thrusts.

 

If Miroku were to ever find out you would lie and say that it was all alcohol's fault and that you two weren't aware of what was going on. It was all a mistake, due to an alcohol-induced passion. Even though you are perfectly aware that neither of you had anything to drink that night and that you were perfectly aware of what you did.

 

Of course, Miroku would then presume that you took advantage of her when really she was the one who took advantage of you. She was the one who first initiated the kiss, and tried to climb you like a damn tree. She was the one who started ripping away at your clothes, causing buttons to fly in all directions in the process. She was the one, who freaking swallowed your cock whole, swallowing your seed as you came into her mouth. Of course, you could've tried to stop her, instead of encouraging it by ripping her clothes off, tossing her onto the bed and fucking her into oblivion.

 

Opening your eyes, you turn your attention back to the source of the problem. The girl lying beside you, sheets tangled at her waist, her head resting against your arm.

 

The girl with the long pale legs, soft skilled hands, rosy nipples and perfect sized breasts. In other words Kagome, your best girl friend, the one who you happen to be in love with. You best friend who happens to be going out with your other best friend.

 

Oh god…what the hell have you done?

 

Looking down at her sadly, you brush a lock of her hair away from her face. This was what you were afraid of. You were afraid of this happening, that was why you tried to push them -to push her away. But it never worked; she would always find a way back to you. Just like she did tonight. And look what happened. She came to you for comfort. She came to you seeking comfort from her best friend, and this happened. The thing, which you promised yourself you, would never do with her.

 

She was with your best friend for God's sake. So you promised yourself to never act on your feelings. Pushing all those thoughts to the back of your mind, you tried to ignore them. The aching in your chest whenever they would be together, laughing, smiling completely oblivious to the pain you were feeling was unbearable but you endured it for their happiness. You couldn't say anything about it; you couldn't do anything about it.

 

He asked you though; he asked you if it was okay. He was thinking about your feelings, about how you felt about them being together. He didn't have to ask you though, he could've just taken her and it wouldn't have mattered. It wasn't your business, it was theirs and yet he still took your feelings into consideration. At that time, five years ago, you didn't mind them becoming a couple, but the moment his lips touched hers you knew. You knew that you were in love with her. Not falling in love not might be in love but in love. That's it, you're in love with her -it was a done deal. You were in love with her but you couldn't do anything about it but be happy. They were your friends; he was your friend, so you had to be happy for him, for them because they were your friends.

 

But were you thinking about his feelings tonight? Were you thinking about your friends? Were you thinking about how what you did -about what both of you did would affect him? No you weren't. You weren't thinking about him at all when you kissed her. You weren't thinking about his feelings or how he would feel when you sank into her for the first time. You weren't thinking about the consequences of your actions, or what would happen to your friendship. Did you consider his feelings or hers for that matter? No, because you weren't thinking at all.

 

Shame was what you were feeling right now. Shame for betraying your friend, your brother in every way except in blood, but your brother never the less. In one moment you betrayed him, and you knew that he would never forgive you for what you did. He would never forgive the both of you for what you did.

 

And her…what about her? What would she feel when she woke up? Would she feel anger, regret…shame?

 

Her body shifting beside you breaks you out of your thoughts. Afraid that she woke up, you look down at her, the image of her sleeping figure beside you engraved in your mind forever. Another reason why you promised yourself to never sleep with her. Other than the fact that she was going out with Miroku, how did you expect to live your life normally after you had a taste of what it was like to be with her? Loving her when she was in love with someone else was hard enough but loving her knowing how it felt to have her in your arms was downright torture. So you promised yourself to never sleep with her unless you knew it was for forever, not temporarily but for eternity. You promised yourself to never act out on your emotions unless you knew that she loved you back, you and only you.

 

And in one night you managed to break all those promises you swore you would keep for the sake of your friendship, her happiness and of course, for the sake of your sanity.

 

Closing your eyes you wish that this were all a figment of your over-active imagination due to your more than platonic thoughts for your friend. That when you wake up you'll find yourself alone in your bed, your hard cock the only embarrassing reminder of the `dream' you had last night. At least then you would be spared of the awkward talk that is bound to occur tomorrow when the two of you are awake. You wish that you never surrendered to temptation, that you thought with your head instead of your heart, even though it was about time you listened to the damn thing. Even if what had happened was only a wonderful dream, at least then you would still be able to look in your friends eyes without feeling guilty.

 

But if you could, would you take it all back?

 

Scanning her body with your eyes, you frown slightly at the small finger shaped bruises covering her hips and at bite marks covering her breasts. You mentally reprimand yourself for not being gentle with her. Of course, she wasn't exactly gentle with you either. You could remember her scratching your back with her fingernails, biting into your shoulder to muffle her scream as she came undone. You're sure that that there are probably marks all over you body where she claimed you; marks that will surely fade away, leaving no trace that they were ever there in the first place. You have to be more careful next time to make sure you aren't so rough on her.

 

Wait a minute…next time? It takes you a couple of seconds to remind yourself that there won't be a next time, that tonight was just a one-time thing. You must never do this again. This is only temporarily, you remind yourself, this is not forever.

 

That's right, this is only for one night, not tomorrow, not for a month, not forever, just right now. Meaning only at the present time. She'll leave you tomorrow, leaving this behind, leaving you behind to go back to him. She'll leave you tomorrow with no other feelings but maybe regret or even shame. She'll leave you to go back to him, while you lie in your bed alone, pining away for her while she continues her life being happy with him.

 

All you'll have left of this night are memories, memories of what could've been. An empty space beside you in your bed, where she was lying will be all that is left of this night. Her fading scent on your pillow, sheets and the room will probably drive you insane. In fact, how are you suppose to sleep in this room when the memory of her being in it will probably haunt you forever? The fact that her scent is all around you yet she isn't there beside you. But that's all you want, her. Not some memory but just her…all of her. Now that you think about it, how are you suppose to continue living in this house with the knowledge of what you did in it? In fact how the hell are you suppose to face Miroku again after this? That's it -you made up your mind. The first chance you get you're moving out of town. You can't really expect to live in the same place with your two best friends, which one of them you happened to sleep with who happens to be going out with the other. So that would mean that your best friend, who happens to be the boyfriend of the friend that you just slept with is going to want to kick your ass -either that or kill you. It's not like you're scared of him -far from it cause you know you could probably kick his ass -it's just you wouldn't be able to stand the guilt. You know what, screw moving towns, you should probably move to another country altogether. That way there wouldn't be any chance of them ever finding you, and you could continue living your life living as if nothing had ever happened.

 

Or you could just take it like a man, stay put and pay for the consequences regardless of what they may be.

 

Get a grip. You're a freaking adult now. Running away won't solve your problems. It won't help you forget about what has already occurred and it sure as hell won't help you get over your feelings for Kagome. Besides, you could run and move as far as you could but you know that your problems would always find a way back to you. It's better to deal with it right now, than to run away and regret it later.

 

Sighing you rest your head against the pillows behind you, surprised to feel a weird sensation going through the arm which she's resting on. Trying to flex the fingers of that arm, you realize that it has fully gone numb due to the weight of her head. Shifting around to try and get the feeling back in your arm proves to be futile, so after a few moments contemplating on what to do, you decide that moving her would be the best solution.

 

She stirs beside you, her eyes fluttering open. At first she looks a bit lost, but suddenly a look of realization dawns on her face. `Hey.'

 

You jump slightly at the sound of her voice. Her eyes are half-open, still glazed over with sleep. She stares at you with an intense gaze; it's almost as if she's peering into your soul. For all you know she is.

 

`Hey yourself.' You lay your head beside hers so that you're now staring at her eye-to-eye. `Sorry if I woke you.'

 

She yawns. `It's okay.' She pauses and bites her bottom lip. `Inuyasha?'

 

`Hmmm?'

 

`Would you…can you get off for a second?' She looks down at your arm, which is wrapped, around her waist -you have no clue when you did that.

 

`Oh,' you're heart begins to sink. She regrets it, you know she does, that's why she's so eager to get away from you. `Um…okay.'

 

You remove your arm, and watch sadly as she swings her legs off the edge of the bed. Her bare pale back is facing you and your just itching to touch her again. You brace yourself unto your elbows. `Where are you going?' you ask.

 

She looks at you over her shoulder; her face slowly turns red. `I…well…I…um…sort of need to…' she coughs nervously, `…go pee really badly.' She smiles sheepishly.

 

You blink. `Oh. Er…okay.' A wave of relief passes through you. She doesn't want to leave you -well technically she is but it's only because she needs to go to the washroom.

 

`Yeah,' she looks away, her face still red from embarrassment. `Well…I'm just going to go now…'

 

You nod, careful to avert your eyes when she quickly heads towards your bedroom. It still doesn't feel right to be able to see her in such a state of undress, even though you've already seen everything. You're not suppose to have the right to see her like this, only Miroku does. Her light footsteps signals her return, but still you keep your eyes averted, the feeling of guilt starting to build inside you. When she doesn't make a move to come back into bed, you dare to take a peek at her.

 

She stands at the foot of the bed, staring at it thoughtfully as she chews on her lower lip. Her arms are wrapped around herself, covering her breasts from your view. You don't know if she did that for the sake of modesty or because she was cold. But by the gooseflesh covering her arms, you suspect it's the latter of the two.

 

Her eyes finally find yours, a look of uncertainty in them. You lick your lips nervously. `I -I can take the couch if you want.'

 

She shakes her head. `No, it's your house. I'm the one who should take the couch,' she protests softly.

 

`No, I insist.' You roll off the bed and unto your feet, not even bothering to cover yourself up from her gaze. What's the point really? She's seen you, touched you in the most intimate ways that only a lover is supposed to. No point in hiding something that she's already seen. `You take the bed.'

 

`I shouldn't,' she says hesitantly.

 

`You're my guest,' you insist stubbornly.

 

She regards you carefully. She knows you won't back down, but you know that she won't either. You can practically see the gears turning in her head as she analyzes the situation. When it seems that she finally made up her mind, she slowly walks up and stands right in front of you -close enough that your able to smell the scent of her shampoo but far enough that your skin is barely touching.

 

You feel her slip her small hand into your large one, slowly entwining her fingers with yours. Her eyes search yours, a question hidden in them. Is this okay? They ask you. You look down at your entwined hands, a feeling of warmth slowly expands in your heart. You squeezing her hand lightly is your only response. She climbs back into the bad, pulling you along after her. You come willingly.

 

You slide in beside her, shivering slightly as her soft skin brushes against yours. `Cold?' she asks softly. You say nothing, your heart pounding loudly in your chest that you're sure she can hear it. She reaches over and throws the comforter over you, shifting closer beside you until her head rests at the crook of your neck. `Better?' she asks, her breath skims softly against your skin.

 

`Much.' you manage to croak out. She sighs and you close your eyes in content. For a few endless beats you feel truly at peace. You wish you could have her beside you like this every night, even though you know you never will. `Kagome,' you say hating to break the feeling of calm in the room. `About tonight I…'

 

She clamps her hand over your mouth and peers into your eyes. `No. No more talking,' she says firmly, her voice barely a whisper.

 

You look at her, the moonlight glinting off the silver band on her finger. Slowly you remove her hand, kissing her palm softly. `No more talking,' you whisper back.

 

She closes her eyes; her soft breathing fills the room again. You stare at her sleeping face. Why were you so scared before? This is only Kagome. The girl you grew up with. The only person who's ever seen you cry. The girl who has stood by your side through thick and thin. The girl who you fell in love with.

 

So you fall asleep beside her, keeping one eye open as you watch her breathe. The rise and fall of her chest as she exhales and inhales. You fall asleep beside her, your friend, the girl who you fell in love with, lying next to you. You watch her breathe; her chest rises and falls with each shuddering breath she takes in. You fall asleep, keeping one eye open. You watch, making sure she's still breathing. You watch, making sure her chest rises and falls with yours.

 

You watch, just because tonight you can.