InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Bittersweet ❯ the dreams, departs ( Chapter 2 )

Bittersweet

Chapter Two: *the dreams, departs*

***

There are gains for all our losses,

There are balms for all our pain,

But when youth, the dream, departs,

It takes something from our hearts,

And it never comes again

- 'And it never comes again' by Stoddart -

***

Nothing ever goes the way it's planned. And so Kagome was two days later still in the little village that over the years had become their refuge. At first she wanted to wait until her dear mentor Kaede was put to rest along with Sango's brother Kohaku. So she stayed another day. She never told anyone of her plans to leave and so no one got suspicious.

Then, Miroku and Sango announced they wanted a life together and they wanted to build a house here. Over the last years of shard hunting, bantering, and lecher defense, they had grown close. Kagome had known Sango liked the monk dearly and believed that it went even beyond just 'liking'. Miroku's proposal finally broke the dam. He stated his love for Sango in front of nearly the entire village and begged her to spend her life with him; to have a home and a family again, together. Sango hadn't known what to say and ran away. Miroku had followed and later on the exterminator told Kagome why she had finally agreed with the proposal.

Miroku had told her about all his fears considering the black hole in his hand. He would have died soon, if they hadn't defeated Naraku. Although he liked the female body and especially Sango's very much, all the grabbing and flirting with other girls was mainly to hold Sango at bay so she wouldn't be hurt when he died or even worse, if she had a fatherless child.

The two girls spoke while bathing in one of the hot springs in the woods around their new home. Sango's face was covered with streaks of the tears that fell during her confession. It was then she had requested Kagome to stand by her side when she and Miroku would marry. Kagome felt all the emotions and happiness behind this plea and couldn't say no so she decided to stay just a few days longer until the house was built and Sango and Miroku married.

During the first day and the burials Inuyasha had come back, without Kikyou. Nobody knew what happened to her and although Miroku was very curious, he stayed in bed due to his broken leg and couldn't get out in the woods to ask the hanyou. Sango thought it was Inuyasha's right to tell what happened when he wanted too, not too late, of course because her best friend could get hurt. But to her surprise, Kagome didn't show any interest; not even in Inuyasha himself. Shippo, although young, become aware of her behavior, but he was happy to have all the attention Kagome could give and so he didn't interfere. As often as Sango or Miroku tried to speak to the girl about Inuyasha, something happened that required her full attention or she just walked away without answering any questions.

***

"I wonder what's up with Kagome, Houshi-sama." Sango asked Miroku the next evening in their hut. It was without any furniture, besides the two futons, but the roof and the walls were ready so they stayed here.

The monk cringed as he heard the formal salutation.

"Do you still have to call me that?"

Sango smiled and cuddled closer to him. "Old habits die hard. Now, what do you think about how Kagome-chan is acting? She seems so spacey and sad all the time."

Miroku sighed. These thoughts were on his mind too, but he had no idea what evoked this strange behavior in their friend. He suspected it has something to do with Inuyasha and the disappearance of Kikyou.

"I really don't know what's wrong with her. Every time I try to talk to her she just turns and walks away like I have never asked or she smiles and says there is nothing to worry about."

"The same happened to me. I have the feeling it is because of Inuyasha and Kikyou. You know Kagome loves him, right?"

Miroku sighed again. "Yeah it was very obvious; during our journeys, she fell in love with him. But why doesn't she talk? He has been back for two days from wherever he was and they still haven't talked."

"I don't think it's his fault, well besides the carrying Kikyou away without telling someone, but he tried to talk to her and she did the same to him like she did with us. The only one she really seems to enjoy herself around was little Shippo. And I can tell Inuyasha isn't happy about that either."

Silence unfurled in the room, only Kirara's light purring was heard. The sky grew dark and the only light came from a small flame. Sango turned her head carefully so as not to hurt the wounded leg of her lover. She brushed her hand slightly over his cheek and he leaned in to hug her. He closed his arms around the woman he cared so much about, and in the attempt to ease her worries about the girl they both loved like family, he told her:

"Don't worry, perhaps she is just homesick. She stayed this time longer than ever because of the battle. She must miss her own time and her family. When she comes back the next time everything will be fine again, you will see." His soft voice lulled the Sango slowly to sleep. Her last thoughts before sleep overtook her were directed at the young Miko. 'I hope he is right, but I fear for you Kagome, please speak to me again.'

***

The same evening, Kagome sat on top a gentle hill not far away from the village to watch the sun set. She did this a lot these days, sitting somewhere alone for herself thinking about everything that had happened.

And every time she was alone, she scolded herself for being so closed off from her friends and for not letting the past be past. 'Why can't I forget everything?' She sighed quietly. 'Perhaps when I am back in my time I will be able to go on and to leave him behind. But do I really want to forget him?' It wasn't the first time she asked herself this question and the answer hadn't changed by now. She lifted her head to catch the last beam of sunlight this day. The land before her was covered in soothing colors and a few minutes later the pale half moon and the dim fireplaces were the only things seen. 'Since I've known Inuyasha, I am no longer afraid of the darkness; he was always there to protect me.'

"Kagome!" A loud shout behind her startled her and she turned towards the intruder of her peace.

Her eyes widened and filled with recognition as she looked at the man that stood there, wearing a worried expression.

"Kouga?" asked Kagome in wonder. The last time she had seen the wolf prince was when he had lay hurt by Naraku aside the ash field. He had given up his shards to Kagome previously and when Naraku had attacked that fateful day he was knocked off as one of the first, missing his quickness and strength.

Now he stood there, obviously healthy again, grinning at her with that boyish smile she had always liked him for.

"Kouga is that you? Why are you here? Has something happened?" She asked again, slightly worried.

He knelt in front of her and took her hands into his palms.

"I wanted to ask you if you would come with me now, Kagome. There are no more shards left to be hunted down with your help. You don't have to stay any longer with the dog turd." As he stated it, it didn't sound like a question.

Kagome just stared and him again, wide eyed. He always knew how to say the most ridiculous things and she started to giggle for the first time in days.

Now it was Kouga's time to watch confused. After some minutes Kagome kept her countenance again. She faced him softly smiling.

"Kouga, I want to thank you for all the things you have done for me. If you hadn't give up your shards we probably couldn't have defeated Naraku," she said kindly. "But I will be going back home soon. You know I don't belong in this time and I don't belong to anyone in this time either..." a sad expression flushed her face. "Please understand this, ok?" she closed her little speech.

If this was the general occasion, Kouga would most likely presume Kagome's speech to be about how she was sad not to be with him and that she didn't have enough confidence to ask him if she could stay with him. And he would have soothed her and told her she didn't have to worry, he would always be there for her and they would live happily ever after.

But Kouga wasn't as unobservant as people seemed to believe. He had known it deep down in his heart the whole time that Kagome didn't love him. Her heart belonged to the pigheaded hanyou and that this wasn't something he could fight to change. So he settled for just embracing her and held her tight in his arms to show her he accepted this.

"I know, Kagome, just couldn't stop to give it a try. Not even for old time's sake, huh?" he grinned at her, cupped her head in his hands before he leaned down to kiss her gently on her forehead. Then he sat down besides her and together they watched the hearth-lit valley.

This moment Kagome realized how grown up they all had become these last years. Kouga had gone from self-centric semi-hero-jerk to a trustworthy friend, Sango and Miroku would marry soon, she herself had learned to deal with her fate and accept it. Even Inuyasha changed. He had learned to trust again, to let someone in his heart and he was probably very happy with Kikyou now. Kagome remembered what her mother had told her at her 17th birthday. She had said that she was so proud of her, so proud of how well she managed her life here and on the other side of the well.

She sighed and stood up. "I will go back now, Kouga. It's getting cold outside. If you want to stay, Sango and Miroku are going to be married soon. I think they would welcome you, too." She held her hand to the wolf prince to help him up.

He reached for it but instead of pulling he used his own fluid strength to stand beside her. He again covered her hands with his bigger ones.

"Your hands are cold." he said. Then he looked her in the eyes again. "Sorry, Kagome, but I have to go back to my clan. There aren't a lot of us left since the fight with Naraku and we have to reclaim our borders. I hope we will see each other again and if you ever have enough of dog-boy just cry loud and I'll be there." He said it with a certain seriousness that made her smile again.

"Sure, Kouga, I will. You will have a good life. I am still a miko and I can see it. You will be happy." His answer was a happy smile of his own and together they made their way to the village. Not handholding but in comfortable nearness and silence, like old friends. When they stood only a few feet away from Kaede's hut, where now Shippo and Kagome lived, he turned toward her and took her hands again.

"Thank you for the blessing Kagome-chan. Good bye!" He hugged her a second time this evening and jumped away into the dark. She stood there some more minutes and watched the spot where he had disappeared not realizing the cold wind outside at all. Finally she opened the door to the hut quietly, stepped in and closed it again, leaving the spirits of the night to themselves.

***

Not far away from the cottage sat Inuyasha on one of his favorite trees, observing Kagome. He had heard the whole conversation between Kouga and Kagome and more than once he just wanted to jump down and separate the two. But then Kagome had said all those things and to his surprise Kouga, didn't answer with his usual indecency. They had parted as friends and nothing more. Although the second hug still made him grit his teeth, he knew he had no right to disturb them then. He just wished Kagome would talk to him again the way she had talked to Kouga; that she wouldn't go stiff every time she noticed him, and even when she couldn't see him at all. He had sensed it himself; he smelled a certain rigidity, like all her muscles tensed when he was near. He had never smelled it before. And sometimes when he had gathered enough courage to approach her, she would just turn away. It was frustrating.

He knew Miroku and Sango wanted to talk about Kikyou with him, but he wanted to talk to Kagome first. If she just would let him. Perhaps he had to make her listen to him. She had to tell him why she was angry or whatever she was. 'Yes, tomorrow I will ask her and she will listen to me! I won't let her run away from me anymore; I don't want to loose her...'

END PART TWO