InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Boys To Women ❯ Not All Women Are Ment To Cook ( Chapter 2 )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

Extreamly sorry for the hold up. Having a bit of creativity problems. Those of you who've read my other story might know what I mean. My muse. It decided to quit on me recently. I'll post a for hire sign soon, for any free agents. Also, you'll notice in this chapter that a lot of times I may put "he" when referring to Inuyasha, Sesshomaru, or Miroku, but that's only because they still consider themselves boys and I'm capturing things from their minds' point of veiw. Anyways, once again, please read and enjoy!
Sango and Kagome came down stairs the next morning to see that Sesshomaru, Inuyasha, and Miroku had picked the front lock and let themselves in. Sesshomaru was sprawled out on the couch, legs hanging over the side onto the floor, and a puddle of drool soaking a throw pillow. Inuyasha had slept in a La-Z Boy recliner, but somehow during the night, he had flipped upside down. Now his legs were hanging over the back, the chair reclined and his head on the part ment for your feet. As for Miroku, he was alseep on the floor, legs spread, and one hand on the area that used to contain his junk, as if that's how he slept every night.

Kagome clicked her tounge in dissapproval. Grabbing another pillow off the couch, she hit Sesshomaru in the head with it. He didn't wake up, only grunted something that sounded like "Jenny Craig" then rolled over and began snoring loudly. With a indignant huff, Kagome went to the living room stereo system and turned it on, turning the knob to where the volume was all the way up. A moment later, some old N'Sync song came blaring out.

In a flash, all three of the tresspassers were up, but not in a good way. Inuyasha and Sesshomaru were crawling around on the floor, trying to keep not the music its self, but who was singing it, out their ears. Likewise, Miroku was doing the same. "Make it stop! Make it stop! In the name of all that's good and pure, Kami make it stop!" With a satisfacory smile, Kagome switched the CD player off. "If I hear "Bye, Bye, Bye" one more time, I'm gonna go bye, bye, bye," Inuyasha muttered. As the "boys" rose to their feet, Sango stepped in front of them.

"Today, you three will be cooking breakfast," she told them. All three of them grunted. "Do I look like I cook?" Sesshomaru asked her. "Now you do," Sango replied and threw an apron at her. She and Kagome sat down at the kitchen table. "I want an omlette, some toast, and bacon." Kagome said. "And I'll have some pancakes, eggs, and an orange smoothie," Sango added. "Fat asses!" Sesshomaru said without thinking. "Women are supposed to eat salads! With low fat vinagar dressing! Damn, what the hell you think you are, a man?" Even Inuyasha and Miroku stared at him this time. "What?" he asked. "What?!" Still they stared.

"Well, that's what all the women I've dated have always ordered," he said, as if it was the most simpliest thing in the world. "Sesshomaru, I didn't know you were a lesbian!" Kagome said in a mock shocked tone. "What? How can I be if I'm a..." He looked down at himself, remembering that he'd been turned into a woman. "Hey! I got a pretty nice rack! No implants here!" With pride, she tied the apron around herself and began trying to fix breakfast.

"An orange smoothie...hmm..." Grabbing an orange out the fridge, she put it in the blender along with some ice and cream. "There! Now just press this button..." "No, Sesshomaru!" Kagome and Sango yelled at her. Still, she pressed. In a moment, the whole kitchen was covered in the contents from the blender. "I think there's supposed to be a lid to that," Inuyasha said, smearing his fingers over one of the walls and tasting it. Giving a heavy sigh, Kagome pushed a mop and a sponge into Sesshomaru's hands. "You know what to do with these," she said exasperadly. "No I don't," Sesshomaru said, pushing the mop and sponge back at her. Kagome narrowed her eyes. "Clean." "What do I look like, a maid? Human wenches like you do such tasks for me."

In a flash of anger, Kagome back handed her. Sango gasped. Inuyasha screamed. Miroku fainted. Suddenly Kagome's eyes widened as she realized what she just did. Sesshomaru stared daggers at her then let loose a wild cry, something between a screech and a howl. Grabbing the blender, she threw it against a wall. Picking a glass up from the counter, she scraped it along the kitchen wall, filling it with some of the botched smoothie mix. "You want a damn smoothie! Well here's your fucking smoothie!" She screamed and slamed the glass down in front of Kagome on the table. "Um, Sango's the one who wanted the smoothie." She mumbled.

Sesshomaru growled and set the glass with forced calmness down in front of Sango. "Um, it's missing the ice." Sesshomaru lost it. Grabbing the ice tray from the freezer, she threw whole cubs in it. "There, is that good enough for you! Oh, wait, I forgot! You wanted some eggs with that!" Reaching into the fridge, she pulled out a carton of eggs and without cracking them, she poured them into the cup. "There's your fucking eggs, ma'm! But wait! I bet you're waiting for your toast too, huh?!" Pulling several pieces of bread from the bag, Sesshomaru pushed it all into the toaster and pushed down on the handle. She tried several times, but the load wouldn't go down. Losing her patience with it, Sesshomaru threw it against the wall too and put the bread in the glass containing the eggs and smoothie.

"There! I've fixed everything you asked for! Are you happy?! Huh, are you fuckin' happy?!" Sango just stared blankly at the cup. "Oh! I see how it is! After everything I've done for you, you're still unappreciative! Fine, I can do bad all by myself!" And with that, Sesshomaru drank (and ate) the contents of the glass. Miroku started to wake up, but after seeing what Sesshomaru was downing, she fainted again. The cup was empty within seconds and Sesshomaru looked like she'd gone back to normal, when out of nowhere, she burst into tears and ran up the stairs.

"Sesshomaru!" Sango called, but she ignored her. They all followed her (even Miroku. Finally he came to again) and noticed that she'd ran into the bathroom and had locked herself in. "Sesshomaru, I didn't mean to hurt your feelings! The smoothie was fine just the way it was!" "No it wasen't! You're just saying that! God, why does everyone have to lie to me?!" Sesshomaru shrieked hysterically. Everyone looked at the door in shock. What the hell happened to the cool, calm Sesshomaru?

"Look, I got some stress relief candles," Miroku said. Really it was just some incense sticks that he/she used while purifying places, but she figured that maybe it'd work. "I don't want any of your damn incense sticks!" came the reply from the bathroom. "Hey Sesshomaru," Kagome called. "You know what always calms me down when I'm stressed? A nice day out shopping! How about me and Sango buy you a new wardrobe, hm?" Silence came from beyond the door, then it cracked open just a little. "Really?" Kagome nodded. Sesshomaru threw the door all the way open and gave her a huge hug.

"Can we go with you?" Miroku asked hopefully. Finally a chance for her to actually go into Victoria's Secret and sniff the underware without being stared at. Or so he/she figured. Sango nodded also, and Miroku gave a slight smirk. "I don't wanna go to no damn store," Inuyasha protested. "Well, that's too damn bad!" Kagome snapped. "Part of your experience of being a girl is that you have to do girl things. Now come on, we have to get you three ready."

Sango followed Kagome into her room, the other's trailing behind, lost in their own thoughts on how a day out shopping would be. Sesshomaru figured it be a day of exchanging ideas and being able to one-up the others on apparell. Miroku was fanticizing about all the women he (but really it should be she) would meet in Victoria Secret, and Inuyasha was making a mental list of all the reasons why he really wanted to kill Kagome at the moment. If he/she figured going to the mall was going to be hell, preperations in general could be a torture on their own.


Okay, so there's my second chapter! Finally, hallejuhah! So, review and tell me what you think!